Rant: I Have Failed And Will Probably Never Recover

[FelisCatus]

I read this post of yours last night before going to bed (it's 9:45 am, Tuesday, here).
Like we use to say here, it seems we are on the same boat.

I have lost my two cats in less than 18 months, the last one 6 months ago. I had spent 18 years of my life with them, they were part of me and I think I devoted beyond imagination to their well-being, but they're both gone due to some diseases, and if they're gone this means I hadn't devoted to them enough to have them live more than their time.

In the beginning I had poor information on how to raise a kitten. Internet was at its beginning when I had them, it's a miracle that Lola (my avatar cat) managed to survive to my clumsy attentions when she was just 10-12 days old.
Only when they were around 6-7 years old I started reading more about the way I should have taken care of them. Then I started reading about diseases and their symptoms, the cures, treatments, medicines, and so on.
I was their guardian constantly, I had them thoroughly checked at least three times a year. I fed them the best food for their age and conditions, I did what I thought it was the best for them, every single day. They were my priority, always, since the first minute in the morning to the last minute in the night.
But all this effort and devotion didn't save them, and they died to cancer and to a disease never fully understood.

My home is void and cold, now, it's silent and without a meaning.
I had been thinking to have another kitten and give it a good life, but when I look back at my failures I feel I am not the right person to have a cat.
What if this new cat is sick? Would I be able to take care of it as I am supposed to? Or wolud I clumsily sentence it to death?
Am I ready to take the responsibility for a new life?
I had already been given two lives to take care of, and I proved I wasn't good enough. I always took them to the vets when they were showing the least symptom, but it served no good. I think I picked the wrong vets, anyway it was still my fault.
Would I be ready to carry the burden of the sense of guilt if something else happens to a new kitty? Probably I wouldn't.
I'm still grieving my two cats, and still beating myself for not being a better parent.

So, this said, I fully understand and endorse your feeling and point of view.
Take care!

I will reply to your message in a bit (at work currently) but I just posted this:

Cancer Causing Cat Litter?

Apparently even our cat litter could be causing cancer.. what the HECK. Can I not do anything right? Or is there just nothing that can be done right.

 

[FelisCatus]

I read this post of yours last night before going to bed (it's 9:45 am, Tuesday, here).
Like we use to say here, it seems we are on the same boat.

I have lost my two cats in less than 18 months, the last one 6 months ago. I had spent 18 years of my life with them, they were part of me and I think I devoted beyond imagination to their well-being, but they're both gone due to some diseases, and if they're gone this means I hadn't devoted to them enough to have them live more than their time.

In the beginning I had poor information on how to raise a kitten. Internet was at its beginning when I had them, it's a miracle that Lola (my avatar cat) managed to survive to my clumsy attentions when she was just 10-12 days old.
Only when they were around 6-7 years old I started reading more about the way I should have taken care of them. Then I started reading about diseases and their symptoms, the cures, treatments, medicines, and so on.
I was their guardian constantly, I had them thoroughly checked at least three times a year. I fed them the best food for their age and conditions, I did what I thought it was the best for them, every single day. They were my priority, always, since the first minute in the morning to the last minute in the night.
But all this effort and devotion didn't save them, and they died to cancer and to a disease never fully understood.

My home is void and cold, now, it's silent and without a meaning.
I had been thinking to have another kitten and give it a good life, but when I look back at my failures I feel I am not the right person to have a cat.
What if this new cat is sick? Would I be able to take care of it as I am supposed to? Or wolud I clumsily sentence it to death?
Am I ready to take the responsibility for a new life?
I had already been given two lives to take care of, and I proved I wasn't good enough. I always took them to the vets when they were showing the least symptom, but it served no good. I think I picked the wrong vets, anyway it was still my fault.
Would I be ready to carry the burden of the sense of guilt if something else happens to a new kitty? Probably I wouldn't.
I'm still grieving my two cats, and still beating myself for not being a better parent.

So, this said, I fully understand and endorse your feeling and point of view.
Take care!

The thing is though 18 years old for a cats lifespan is an achievement all in its own. The two cats I have lost so far went at 14 and 12. I would have been willing to give up part of my own lifespan to have them live to 18. Sure I might be thinking the same way you are now, but 14 -> 18 is 4 years more and 12 -> 18 is 6 years more. That might not seem like a lot, but for a cat that's 25% of their life.

I don't think I would be as hurt if they both lived until AT LEAST 15 years old.

Do you have the back story of Lola posted somewhere? It's incredible you had her at that young (10-12 days). I have never dealt with a neonatal kitten yet but I imagine it would be a lot of work (I have watched KittenLady on YT).

You had mentioned your home is cold and void now, and thought about getting a kitten. What about adopting senior cats only? That way a lot of the responsibility of how they grew up is already out of your hands and you can give them a good send off in life? I know shelters generally euthanize old cats as they are harder to adopt out. I have never seen an older cat than 10 years old at my local shelter.

 

[FelisCatus]

I myself am still in shock over losing my cat, when I am in the room that we spent her final ~2 months in, I look at the areas she rested and miss her. It feels like she is just on vacation and I didn't just hold her lifeless body after they injected her a few days ago.

I feel beyond dead inside. Like a walking zombie. I am afraid of what I will do when I run out of things to do. Right now I downloaded a lot of tv shows and binge watch them along side playing video games when I am at home. Unfortunately all of the end of life care beyond drained my bank so I have no money to buy any new games or go anywhere... I am really afraid of my thoughts when I get bored. I already had a taste of them a few times. I can only distract myself for so long. I even took down the picture of her I had at my workdesk.

 

[Antonio65]

I will reply to your message in a bit (at work currently) but I just posted this:
Cancer Causing Cat Litter?
Apparently even our cat litter could be causing cancer.. what the HECK. Can I not do anything right? Or is there just nothing that can be done right.

In the last years I would use a wood pellets litter, clumping. I was very satisfied with its performance, versus the poor clumping power of other clay litters.
Furthermore, when I was using the clay litter my heart would ache because I knew that the clay had to be quarried out of somewhere, and the thought that a hill, a ground, a mine, was depleted for the benefit of my cat was just unbearable.
Luckily I found this new item on the market and I switched to it.

Anyway, over here in Europe there's the fashion of the pellet stoves, and much of the pellet that is sold here comes from Eastern Europe. Many people are convinced that those pellets come from contaminated timber in the Ukraine area, namely Chernobyl, and that radiations from those pellets are still possible.
This thought crossed my mind when my Lola was diagnosed with a carcinoma in her nose, and I blamed the pellets for possibly being contaminated. The other cat (Pallina), though, was healthy and this eased my anger a lot.
I was willing to buy a Geiger counter to measure the radioactivity of that litter, but I was told that using such an equipment isn't easy and lots of things have to be taken into account.

I look at the areas she rested and miss her. It feels like she is just on vacation and I didn't just hold her lifeless body after they injected her a few days ago.

In the days after the death of my second cat, Pallina, I was sure she hadn't died, that she was just hospitalized as she had been in the last weeks of her life, in and out of a few hospitals. She was just away for a few days, but she was coming back soon... that's what I said to myself.

Unfortunately all of the end of life care beyond drained my bank so I have no money to buy any new games or go anywhere...

I was penniless at the end of the long hospicing with my cat Pallina, not a single cent was in my pocket! I fully understand you!

The thing is though 18 years old for a cats lifespan is an achievement all in its own. The two cats I have lost so far went at 14 and 12. I would have been willing to give up part of my own lifespan to have them live to 18.

Both my cats died at 17, but they overlapped in my house, so that the whole span with them was 18 years, 2 months and 9 days.
Yes, more than 12 or 14 years, but never enough...

I don't think I would be as hurt if they both lived until AT LEAST 15 years old.

It would hurt just the same, believe me!
Love can't be measured in years.

Do you have the back story of Lola posted somewhere? It's incredible you had her at that young (10-12 days). I have never dealt with a neonatal kitten yet but I imagine it would be a lot of work (I have watched KittenLady on YT).

This link
Lola's fight with Oral Squamous Cell Carcinoma (I'm going to say goodbye to my cat)
and the two following posts in the same thread.
I had split the story, it is long, I warn you, you'd better make yourself comfortable.
The previous posts in the same thread are from I just joined TCS and was telling others the whole story of her cancer.

EDIT:This link
My Sweet Lola is at the Rainbow Bridge
is the thread I started on her death a week later...

A word of notice, English isn't my native language, I'm Italian and live in Italy, you might find some mistakes in my posts, here or elsewhere.

This link is for my other cat, Pallina, possibly the only cat in Italy being treated with radio-iodine for the hyperthyroidism
Pallina, The Cat Who Went To Belgium

You had mentioned your home is cold and void now, and thought about getting a kitten. What about adopting senior cats only? That way a lot of the responsibility of how they grew up is already out of your hands and you can give them a good send off in life? I know shelters generally euthanize old cats as they are harder to adopt out. I have never seen an older cat than 10 years old at my local shelter.

Over here all shelters are no-kill, so no cat will ever be euthanized for its old age.
Adopting a senior cat could be a very nice thought, but despite not feeling responsible for whatever the cat might already have, I would like to have full control on the situation, and not knowing what the cat has been through in its life would be an obstacle had I go to the vet, I wouldn't have a full history and this is against my "bizzarre" philosophy.

 

[FelisCatus]

In the last years I would use a wood pellets litter, clumping. I was very satisfied with its performance, versus the poor clumping power of other clay litters.
Furthermore, when I was using the clay litter my heart would ache because I knew that the clay had to be quarried out of somewhere, and the thought that a hill, a ground, a mine, was depleted for the benefit of my cat was just unbearable.
Luckily I found this new item on the market and I switched to it.

Anyway, over here in Europe there's the fashion of the pellet stoves, and much of the pellet that is sold here comes from Eastern Europe. Many people are convinced that those pellets come from contaminated timber in the Ukraine area, namely Chernobyl, and that radiations from those pellets are still possible.
This thought crossed my mind when my Lola was diagnosed with a carcinoma in her nose, and I blamed the pellets for possibly being contaminated. The other cat (Pallina), though, was healthy and this eased my anger a lot.
I was willing to buy a Geiger counter to measure the radioactivity of that litter, but I was told that using such an equipment isn't easy and lots of things have to be taken into account.



In the days after the death of my second cat, Pallina, I was sure she hadn't died, that she was just hospitalized as she had been in the last weeks of her life, in and out of a few hospitals. She was just away for a few days, but she was coming back soon... that's what I said to myself.



I was penniless at the end of the long hospicing with my cat Pallina, not a single cent was in my pocket! I fully understand you!



Both my cats died at 17, but they overlapped in my house, so that the whole span with them was 18 years, 2 months and 9 days.
Yes, more than 12 or 14 years, but never enough...



It would hurt just the same, believe me!
Love can't be measured in years.



This link
Lola's fight with Oral Squamous Cell Carcinoma (I'm going to say goodbye to my cat)
and the two following posts in the same thread.
I had split the story, it is long, I warn you, you'd better make yourself comfortable.
The previous posts in the same thread are from I just joined TCS and was telling others the whole story of her cancer.

EDIT:This link
My Sweet Lola is at the Rainbow Bridge
is the thread I started on her death a week later...

A word of notice, English isn't my native language, I'm Italian and live in Italy, you might find some mistakes in my posts, here or elsewhere.

This link is for my other cat, Pallina, possibly the only cat in Italy being treated with radio-iodine for the hyperthyroidism
Pallina, The Cat Who Went To Belgium



Over here all shelters are no-kill, so no cat will ever be euthanized for its old age.
Adopting a senior cat could be a very nice thought, but despite not feeling responsible for whatever the cat might already have, I would like to have full control on the situation, and not knowing what the cat has been through in its life would be an obstacle had I go to the vet, I wouldn't have a full history and this is against my "bizzarre" philosophy.

In the other thread there was actually an interesting alternative to pellets mentioned called smart grass:
Cancer Causing Cat Litter?

I will try finding it here in Ontario and if not then go with pellets. I would hope the pellets here aren't sourced from Ukraine as well.... you never know with companies trying to save money.
----------------
Luckily I had my lunch break right when you posted your reply so I had a chance to read the back stories of Lola and Pallina. You certainly went above and beyond... I was also trying to find any types of experimental or other types of help for our mammary cancer. I would have been willing to sell my car and bring her to Europe with me for treatment. The most aggressive treatment available here at my local vet university would have been radiation therapy which I read you guys went through. Unfortunately in our case the cancer had spread throughout her body so we could not do this type of treatment.
--------------
Your English is not bad at all. You should see how badly most native English speakers write...
--------------
You mentioned earlier that you thought USA/North America was ahead of Europe due to thinking we don't have silly superstitions with black cats... but we don't even have no-kill shelters... pretty sure the last time I saw a % it was around 75% kill rate for kittens going into. Which is a COUPLE HUNDRED THOUSAND a year.

MILLIONS of kittens found and taken to animal shelters each year are put to sleep | Daily Mail Online

and look at what I found while looking for an article!?

US government 'killed thousands of kittens' as part of secret decades-long experiments

ugh.

Man... sometimes I wish I was oblivious to all of this (or just never born in the first place).

We humans are a cancer on Earth who play God.

At least there's good people out there.... all it takes is a few bad people with the power to do a lot of damage though.

 

[catsknowme]

All the sad sentiments here have really struck a chord with me. I relate to your pain so much but now that I have a number of years under my belt, I hope that I can offer some useful thoughts & opinions. To preface my experience, back in the 1992-1993 time, I lost my 18yo nephew (murder by stranger - I was his duena when he was born & he lived his freshman year with me when he had family issues); my husband due to work accident; my eldest brother (on his way to work, he was broadsided by a drunk driver). And now I have lost my dad, my middle brother, another nephew, and countless cats, from 18yo Christy to 5yo Joey to various rescues, from lost/abandoned seniors to tiny, doomed baby ferals. At the end of it all, I have learned that my dad was right - when it is one's time to exit this life, it's their time and it is only between the Creator and them - nothing we do can change that. Death is inevitable and sometimes comes as a friend. That said, it is up to us to give those in our lives the best that life has to offer. I know how hard it is to achieve the courage to love again & I cling hard to the slogan " better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all". I had a bottle baby that I treasured so much; he traveled with us on road trips, he slept with me, he was our Border Collie's special buddy - I was so attached to my kitty that he didn't get to go outside except for visits to the riding stables where he got along great with both the ranch dogs & the horses. He got the best of care yet I lost him to cancer at only 6 years old and now I wish that he had enjoyed more outdoor time, he so longed for it. I have ferals in my yard that are over 12.
And I wonder if your good selves would consider helping out your local feral cat rescuers. Maybe not necessarily fostering or transporting to the vets but perhaps helping with feeding & monitoring colonies. It can be so lonely out there in the field, whether trapping or just making the rounds, feeding, watering, noting colony members, etc. - your company would be so welcome, more than you could ever imagine! Or maybe keep a feral overnight while they recover from their neuter surgery. Or volunteer as a "cat railroad" transport driver. It is a way to honor the life of your dear departed kitties while you take the time to consider your next step in cat guardianship. Prayers and vibes for comfort and healing & feel free to PM me or any one of your TCS family

 

[Antonio65]

And I wonder if your good selves would consider helping out your local feral cat rescuers. Maybe not necessarily fostering or transporting to the vets but perhaps helping with feeding & monitoring colonies. It can be so lonely out there in the field, whether trapping or just making the rounds, feeding, watering, noting colony members, etc. - your company would be so welcome, more than you could ever imagine!

I'm the legal tutor of a feral colony at my workplace.
A "legal tutor" over here is a person who is certified by the local authorities to take care of a feline colony who has previously checked and registered by the health office. Once a colony has been registered and a person has stepped forward to take care of them, that person is the legal tutor and has access to the colony every time it is needed, even if that colony is within a private property, as in my case. And the tutor has access to the local council help for neutering all cats. My colony cats have been spayed and neutered on the council's expenses. I just buy those cats the food, and feed them everyday, and keep notice of those who disappears or the newcomers.
I'm happy when I feed them in the morning, they run towards me, though they won't allow me to touch them.

But it's a totally different story than to have a home kitty to love.
However, as I said in my previous posts, I feel I could not be the right person for such a responsibility. I lost my two much beloved cats despite my incredible efforts, how can I be sure that I haven't done something wrong or that I could have done something better?

 

[Antonio65]

Luckily I had my lunch break right when you posted your reply so I had a chance to read the back stories of Lola and Pallina. You certainly went above and beyond... I was also trying to find any types of experimental or other types of help for our mammary cancer. I would have been willing to sell my car and bring her to Europe with me for treatment.

Sorry for taking your time away during your lunch break.
What kind of treatment do you think we in Europe could have that might have saved or given hope for your kitty?

You mentioned earlier that you thought USA/North America was ahead of Europe due to thinking we don't have silly superstitions with black cats... but we don't even have no-kill shelters... pretty sure the last time I saw a % it was around 75% kill rate for kittens going into. Which is a COUPLE HUNDRED THOUSAND a year.

That's terrible and insane!
I tried to read those articles, but had to stop when I saw those pictures and thought what their fate is... I just can't bear it!

Man... sometimes I wish I was oblivious to all of this (or just never born in the first place).

This is what I think of often. I wish I knew something, or I wish not be on this Earth, the daily pain that I suffer when I think of how we have turned this planet and the lives of other creatures to, is just too much!
Once one knows, they can't un-know...

 

[Antonio65]

If humans were never around and female cats went into heat a lot with no relief (mate) they have a high chance of mammary cancer... that is beyond ridiculous. Wherein female cats go into heat, no mating = overload of hormones = higher chance of cancer. Are cats the only animal like this?

As far as I know, dogs are just the same... and I guess more animals that I don't know much of could be the same.

 

[Antonio65]

I had forgotten to reply this part

I would have been willing to give up part of my own lifespan to have them live to 18.

I would have traded my own life to save my cats. If my life was the price to have them in good health and long life, I would have traded it.

 

[catsknowme]

Antonio65 : That is awesome that you are a legal tutor for cats - I have never even heard of such a concept! And that you have the support of your local council is a luxury that many of your fellow cat rescuers can never imagine - it is so far removed from their own realities where they & the cats are at risk from the haters.
I am sorry that you are so worried about making mistakes or doing the right thing by your cats. In my opinion, each cat has a team & you are definitely savvy enough to assemble a competent team to help you care for that particular cat/cats. There will always be risks and unknowns. Fortunately, you also have TCS to be part of that team and the cumulative knowledge & experience here is a true gift!
I believe that innumerable kitties would absolutely love to be part of your family even if it meant the most humble of circumstances. Cats are not asking for perfection of you, just for what you can give them

 

[Antonio65]

Antonio65 : That is awesome that you are a legal tutor for cats - I have never even heard of such a concept! And that you have the support of your local council is a luxury that many of your fellow cat rescuers can never imagine - it is so far removed from their own realities where they & the cats are at risk from the haters.

Here in Italy, when a colony has been registered, it is because someone has brought it up to the attention of the council and health office.
That someone is likely the same person who is already taking care of the colony in an "unofficial way", and chooses to pass to the "official" side because of the benefit of the spaying on the council's expenses, plus the status of protected colony that the cats get. When a colony is registered all cats are protected, and this means, for instance, that the colony cannot be moved at the request of a single or a group of citizens just because. The colony has the right to live where the cats chose to live unless there's a real and true danger for their lives.
It's an Italian law, and no town or city council, at least here in the north, can refuse such a request.
This is to tell that I'm not the only privileged one, many persons like me have access to the same benefits. Even in the same town.
Over here we are at least three, that I know of.

In my opinion, each cat has a team & you are definitely savvy enough to assemble a competent team to help you care for that particular cat/cats.

I have no merit in assembling a team, because I'm alone and the council acts by the law, the vets follow the law and so on

There will always be risks and unknowns. Fortunately, you also have TCS to be part of that team and the cumulative knowledge & experience here is a true gift!
I believe that innumerable kitties would absolutely love to be part of your family even if it meant the most humble of circumstances. Cats are not asking for perfection of you, just for what you can give them

Absolutely, the level of cumulative knowledge of TCS is a treasure, but nonetheless my own two cats, the love of my life, the heart of my heart, died, and I don't know whether I could have done for them better than I did.

 

[Jcatbird]

I must come in and say something here. First, if I could take your pain, I would. I’m sure I am not the only one reading all the posts here that feels this way. I cannot even count my losses. I still feel each one of them. I have found that the only way I can fight it is to help another, whether it’s a child, a cat or a person looking for assistance. After my only child passed young, the pain was unbearable. I kept going by staying busy and trying to get past the pain. Even today, I have my moments but, I am finding a way to cope. Strangely enough, my recovery started after I had a dream about her. In the dream she was furious with me. This from a child who was never angry with me. In the dream she was healthy and beautiful. She could walk and talk and was no longer the suffering child that I had last seen. In the dream she yelled at me for not moving on and continuing to give my time and love to others. She told me I was wasting precious time and that she never wanted to see me suffer. It was hurting her to see me hurting. When I woke up I was struck by the truth of what I had dreamed. I needed to help another while I could. I could use all I had learned for others.
I ask you to think about this, whenever you were sad, was your kitty there to comfort you? Do you think they would want you suffering so terribly now? I’ve been steadily rescuing for a long time now and I’ve never known a kitty that could stand to see me sad. I know the guilt that comes from loss but we are not in control of when life ends or begins. If we do the best we can, no more can be asked of us. Just do your best and use what you have learned. You are great people and that’s why your hearts are hurting but it also means you can help others. We need more good people like the ones posting here. Please, please keep helping people like me and all the others here as well as other kitties. I cannot help them all by myself and neither can anyone else. We have to hold each other up and keep trying. I will hold you up if you hold me up. My shoulders are yours anytime you need someone to lean on. I send you all , every bit of the love and strength that I can. If you go outside tonight and look up at the stars, take a deep breath and remember, we are all under an amazing sky together. I’ll be looking with you.

 

[Antonio65]

Jcatbird , your last post really touched me, you have gone through a lot, I hope the sun will shine on you, not only the stars!

 

[FelisCatus]

Sorry for taking your time away during your lunch break.
What kind of treatment do you think we in Europe could have that might have saved or given hope for your kitty?

Don't be sorry at all, I meant it in a good way in that I had time to read your post .

It's not really what kind of treatment various countries in Europe might have available, it was more or less grasping for straws. I had contacted lots of places and did a lot of research for anything experimental here in North America and nothing came up. The next logical step was to check what kind of experimental treatments there are in Europe.
---------------------------

I must come in and say something here. First, if I could take your pain, I would. I’m sure I am not the only one reading all the posts here that feels this way. I cannot even count my losses. I still feel each one of them. I have found that the only way I can fight it is to help another, whether it’s a child, a cat or a person looking for assistance. After my only child passed young, the pain was unbearable. I kept going by staying busy and trying to get past the pain. Even today, I have my moments but, I am finding a way to cope. Strangely enough, my recovery started after I had a dream about her. In the dream she was furious with me. This from a child who was never angry with me. In the dream she was healthy and beautiful. She could walk and talk and was no longer the suffering child that I had last seen. In the dream she yelled at me for not moving on and continuing to give my time and love to others. She told me I was wasting precious time and that she never wanted to see me suffer. It was hurting her to see me hurting. When I woke up I was struck by the truth of what I had dreamed. I needed to help another while I could. I could use all I had learned for others.
I ask you to think about this, whenever you were sad, was your kitty there to comfort you? Do you think they would want you suffering so terribly now? I’ve been steadily rescuing for a long time now and I’ve never known a kitty that could stand to see me sad. I know the guilt that comes from loss but we are not in control of when life ends or begins. If we do the best we can, no more can be asked of us. Just do your best and use what you have learned. You are great people and that’s why your hearts are hurting but it also means you can help others. We need more good people like the ones posting here. Please, please keep helping people like me and all the others here as well as other kitties. I cannot help them all by myself and neither can anyone else. We have to hold each other up and keep trying. I will hold you up if you hold me up. My shoulders are yours anytime you need someone to lean on. I send you all , every bit of the love and strength that I can. If you go outside tonight and look up at the stars, take a deep breath and remember, we are all under an amazing sky together. I’ll be looking with you.

I am trying to help as much as I can, but there really needs to be some kind of way for (new) users to get information without making the same posts over and over. Search is an option yes, but they are either unaware it exists or just want to make a new post.

I swear every day there's a minimum of:
5-10x-What breed is my cat?
5x-Does this look like an infection?
3x-My cats don't get along, what did I do wrong?

I have been working on an online guide website (for personal use mostly), for the past little while and was thinking of opening it up to everyone. Not sure what the rules would be about linking it here though. It might seem like I am trying to steal traffic.
----------------------------
I actually had a scare this morning since I thought my external hard drive had failed and I lost a lot of my pictures. I do have extra backups but they do not have the most recent pictures on them yet.

If I had more money I would buy even more cloud storage to make sure they are there. It's quite expensive though.

Reminder everyone: BACK UP YOUR PHOTOS/VIDEOS to more than 1-2 places. Trust me, you would feel terrible if you suddenly lost everything.

 

[Antonio65]

I actually had a scare this morning since I thought my external hard drive had failed and I lost a lot of my pictures. I do have extra backups but they do not have the most recent pictures on them yet.

It happened to me once. An external HDD failed and I had lost hundreds of photos and files. Some of them were of unvaluable importance, so I closed my eyes, held my nose, and had the HDD recovered by a professional lab who made a hard copy of ALL my lost files.
I learned the lesson the very hard way!

If I had more money I would buy even more cloud storage to make sure they are there. It's quite expensive though.

Couldn't you just subscribe free cloud storages with different accounts or on different servers? Usually the first 10 GB are free.

 

[FelisCatus]

It happened to me once. An external HDD failed and I had lost hundreds of photos and files. Some of them were of unvaluable importance, so I closed my eyes, held my nose, and had the HDD recovered by a professional lab who made a hard copy of ALL my lost files.
I learned the lesson the very hard way!

Oh wow.. that must have cost you quite a lot. Here recovering a few hundred GBs of data would go into the hundreds of dollars.

Couldn't you just subscribe free cloud storages with different accounts or on different servers? Usually the first 10 GB are free.

I could yes, but I have about 1.5 TB of photos/videos/documents/projects that I would need to back-up. Creating 150 accounts seems unrealistic.

 

[Bird]

I remember this same emotional turmoil caring for my terminally-ill cat, who was my beloved partner of 19 years. I felt absolute desperation, and a sickening helplessness. I did everything that I could, but I couldn't save her. I just couldn't save her. I would have sold my soul to the devil to save her, but there was no devil to make that bargain. I wish that I could sugar-coat this, but it was the most traumatic thing that I have ever gone through. I didn't truly recover, but the passage of time has blunted the memories. I avoid thinking about it. Even just writing this, I started to cry, and she died in 2011. The hole is still there, and part of me changed permanently. I looked straight into the eyes of death, a horrified witness, and I felt a piece of my own soul snuffed out.

I thought that I would never have a cat again. I told my husband that I could never go through that again. Several years went by. I never, never would have taken the initiative to go adopt a new cat. But then one day, my co-worker stuck a photo in my face, a photo of a tiny black kitten, and said "Do you know someone who wants a kitten? I need to find a home for it." It was mere days from the third anniversary of cat's death--my black cat. I instantly thought: this is a sign. This is the sign.

I fretted over it. Could I handle having a cat again? Could I go through the anguish again? But there was the sign. A little black kitten needed my help. I listened to the whole story of the little kitten and her sister. Two kittens in a shoe box found abandoned. Where is the second kitten, I asked? The second kitten had already found a permanent home. After several days of thought, the feeling that it should be MY kitten kept growing larger and larger, so I took the wee black kitten, who was probably no more than 6 weeks old. I couldn't stop thinking about the second kitten, the sister! I had a strong feeling that the second kitten should be mine. I kept asking my co-worker about the other kitten, and how that new home was working out. Apparently, not so good, and I jumped on the opportunity and said "I would love to have the other kitten too. Can you let the owner know that I have offered to take her?" And that's how I ended up with my two shoe box sister cats, even though I thought that I would never get another cat. I needed the magical sign of the black cat. I needed a kitten or two to just fall in my lap. The only thing better than a kitten is two kittens.

Did I make the right choice?

 

[Furballsmom]

I needed the magical sign of the black cat.

Bless you for that , and your co-worker as well

Did I make the right choice?

 

[Willowy]

The best tribute you can give to your past cats is to give a good home to another cat in need. Anyone who cares this much will be a good owner, better than most cats get. Even if their lives aren't as long as we would like, we can make those lives happy. Much happier than living on the streets or in a shelter especially.