What's on your Mind Thread - 2022

[Willowy]

My opinion of childfree weddings is that they should have a playroom in the same venue or nearby with family members babysitting (or accredited local childcare workers) so the parents can pop in now and then to reassure their kid(s). Othewise they can't really whine if parents can't attend. The couple should pay for it but asking the parents to pitch in what they'd normally pay for babysitting would be fine too.

But I think the best part of the wedding reception is watching the kids go crazy on the dance floor so I don't like childfree weddings anyway. It's fine if they ask all the parents to get the kids out by 10pm or whatever so the adults can have more adult fun after that, but not entirely childfree.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I declined going to a destination wedding in the Bahamas for a couple that DH and I introduced. And she had been one of my closest friends since 10th grade. We talked for years about being in each others weddings. But but by the time her wedding came we were in such different places it often felt like different planets! My kids were very small and even if they had been invited too; traveling with them was often the opposite of a vacation! Just the thought of leaving DS when he was that small made me panic even if my mom would have agreed to keep my kids. We never really had vacation time like that anyway because of how DH’s job works. But for them the destination wedding was actually a way to keep some really difficult family members from coming. Unfortunately that meant friends missed it too. Its a risk you take when you choose a destination wedding I guess!

They are divorced now anyway.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Have you sought out Real Estate Companies in Chattanooga for rental suggestions?

I have. And not getting much. I need income-based housing, so that's a bit of a rub.

Just take a cue from this guy:

SEE! Animals do, too, use tools!

 

[AbbysMom]

My dad has been in the hospital for the past week now - It has been tricky and would appreciate some warm thoughts and prayers

I hope he's doing a bit better.

One of my husband's friend's is getting married! They live in TN and we got a save the date for a wedding in Napa.

They will probably get a room block for the wedding at a discounted rate, but check the hotel rates in Napa for when the wedding is and that may also help your decision. If you do decide to go, I've been three times in the past five years, so feel free to ask questions.

 

[Lari]

They will probably get a room block for the wedding at a discounted rate, but check the hotel rates in Napa for when the wedding is and that may also help your decision. If you do decide to go, I've been three times in the past five years, so feel free to ask questions.

The website has a couple of hotels that will have shuttles to the venue. We'd have to bring a car seat on the airplane and everything. It seems like a lot for a wedding J can't go to. I miss traveling so much, but I'm already leaning towards sending my husband alone.

 

[game misconduct]

shopping a new tree for graycie next month caught her eating bits of carpet off this older one cant be having that so its gotta go and be replaced

 

[maggiedemi]

But I think the best part of the wedding reception is watching the kids go crazy on the dance floor so I don't like childfree weddings

Same here! Seeing all the kids and babies is the best part...

 

[Willowy]

I mean, if there are no 3-year-olds doing the chicken dance out of order, what's even the point, right?

 

[MoochNNoodles]

We only had "babes in arms" and family kids or very close friends at our wedding. Our guest list was over 200 even with that. It was a financial thing. Basically any family or people that traveled included kids. But local people I invited only adults and some teens. I specifically worded who was invited. And a few families responded with all 6-8 of them coming when I'd invited 2-3. I got help from our old pastor on how to send a nicely worded postcard explaining the misunderstanding. That wasn't just one or two families; it was like 5-6! My dad got laid off right at that time. So it really was a delicate situation. It probably would have worked out because of last minute cancellations; but we couldn't know that. And it wasn't a destination wedding; but both sides of our family were required to travel and stay at hotels so it was something we considered.

Most people don't understand everything that goes into finding sitters you trust (especially with young kids who can't speak for themselves), traveling with kids, and even taking them with you! You think about things SO much more when your a mom who has to make sure everything they could possibly need is accounted for.

We have had to travel by air with a car seat; but fortunately it was just a booster. I had a solid booster; which got gate checked, and a blow up one because both kids were technically still in them. J should still be young enough to sit in your lap for the flight. I think only certain kinds of seats can be used on planes. We rented a van for the trip and agreed ahead of time that an adult would sit next to DS in the booster (he was 4) to make sure he stayed seated properly. (My mom and Stepdad were traveling with us.) Most of the time on that trip we used the shuttle busses or the boat so we didn't have to worry. Everyone held their kids. I've seen some people strap their car seat to one of those luggage wheel things and basically let it function like a stroller. Those convertible seats are big and bulky!! And heavy.

 

[game misconduct]

its just not the same if there is no horde of lil kids having a blast to help celebrate a happy joining of a couple who hopefully help grow the family with another generation

 

[Lari]

I'm not sure there were any under 4s at our wedding. We invited everyone's kids, but some left theirs at home, and others just had older kids. I feel like we had a decent number of kids in the 8-12 range.

There's no way we could do a booster and we'd need to at least uber to a hotel. She could maybe sit on my lap on a plane, but she's so active I'm not sure she would.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Yeah she's younger than my kids were. Flying with kids isn't easy. Traveling period. They each had backpacks with fun things to keep occupied and some snacks; but at her age she might not even be content in her car seat for the length of a flight. Once upon a time kids screaming in the back seat because they were done with the seat and the ride was a part of every trip for us. And I wonder why I'm so burnt out on car travel? Now they are older so car trips mean hours of movie time. That helped SO much.

Long car trips are definitely where I bend the rules on screen time. We would also stop at rest stops with paths to walk and I'd do physical things like jumping up and down or jumping over cracks... anything to give them some movement. DS was super good on the plane. It was such a novelty and we made sure he had the window seat. On the flight there he sat with DH and I. The pilot had invited him and my stepdad to look in the cockpit. DS was super vocal and it got him favors more than once when he was little. Plus he was a flirt. On the way back we swapped kids and he sat with my mom and stepdad so they had him well entertained. And he was so worn out from the vacation he slept for a while.

You really have to weight out the work vs the benefits of going. I'd struggle with letting an unknown person watch her too. We have very limited options so the kids have even come with us when we've gone out for our anniversary. I think I've only had one non-family or family friend watch them. And that was the teenage daughter of my mom's friend.

 

[Katie M]

 

[susanm9006]

Alot on the agenda today. To my dementia aunty’s house at noon to teach her how to use her new cell phone; then grocery store because a storm is coming, then a driveway cleanup because it will be 40 today so melting ice needs to be cleared before more snow arrives.

 

[susanm9006]

I'm not sure there were any under 4s at our wedding. We invited everyone's kids, but some left theirs at home, and others just had older kids. I feel like we had a decent number of kids in the 8-12 range.

There's no way we could do a booster and we'd need to at least uber to a hotel. She could maybe sit on my lap on a plane, but she's so active I'm not sure she would.

I know it’s missing out on a trip but have you thought about just sending your husband, especially since it’s his friend? It might be more relaxing for you just to stay home.

 

[Lari]

I know it’s missing out on a trip but have you thought about just sending your husband, especially since it’s his friend? It might be more relaxing for you just to stay home.

That's what I'm leaning towards, honestly. He's the one that's feeling wrong about leaving us behind. We fortunately have a while to decide.

 

[kashmir64]

The pilot had invited him and my stepdad to look in the cockpit.

Pre 9/11? Pilots used to do that a lot. Not anymore.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Pre 9/11? Pilots used to do that a lot. Not anymore.

No just a few years ago during boarding.

 

[Willowy]

Yeah, that makes sense; during boarding they would still have access to on-land law enforcement and such. Once in the air I'm pretty sure they have to keep the door locked all the time.

A shame, really, because when I was a kid the trip to the cockpit was the best part!

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I wouldn’t have trusted my son in there while flying. He was SO impulsive when he was little! My stepdad had him though so I wasn’t worried he’d do anything more than look. But he got a look at the sound board at our old church once and I remember his reaction to that. His eyes probably bugged out with a big plane!

He also was trying to dismantle things with his toy tools when he was maybe 18 months old. So yeah… he needed a lot of supervision when excited! (My cousin’s son was definitely worse though. That kid almost dove off a cement pier on me when I was a teenager and in shape!! He was fast!!)