I Need Advice On Wanting My Cat Back!

[WonderY]

But really i feel bummed that because she as a parent promised her kids something now i look like a total bad guy.

Jay, just read through your whole thread and it must feel like an emotional upheaval. I'm sorry for how you are feeling. I would feel the same. So, sew buttons...let's not complicate things as us humans usually do. 1) you miss the cat? 2) you have a contract? 3) will your life be over if this woman thinks you're an a-hole?....you're not btw. 4) kids are young, they will survive and not be traumatized, believe me. 5) I fully agree with the monetary option, if you are willing, woman and husband sound sketchy to me. 6) and lastly, go get your cat back.

 

[Furballsmom]

WonderY absolutely yes.

 

[Jayess94]

Thank you I’m so very devastated right now and i feel like I’ve lost her. I have tried all i can to talk to this woman and obviously she is not willing.

I’m not sure if i call that this shelter will even care or try to retrieve her from their home. If they did i would have my husband go pick her up as I’m sure the shelter wouldn’t allow me to re adopt her as i broke the contract originally.

I consulted my friend who is a defense lawyer who states i unfortunately have no legal ground for a police report as she is considered a “gift” and it is recorded in our texts that i gave her to this woman, even though my name is on the chip, the papers, vet bills, etc.

Thank you for your kind words

 

[Jayess94]

I will try to throw some money at the situation if she will ever answer me, i would be willing to offer quite a bit.

 

[talkingpeanut]

Yes, you will need to follow through on your threats. The shelter will care to investigate if you let them know that the cat isn’t in an appropriate home.

 

[Norachan]

I'm sorry Jayess94 This is a really heart breaking situation. I hope things work out for the kitten and the kids can be taught to be gentle. One of my cats, who came to me as a kitten someone dumped outside my house, used to love the kids who lived next door. They were your typical bratty elementary school kids, but I showed them how to play with wand toys with him and they were really nice to him. He'd wander next door as soon as he heard them come home from school in the afternoon.

Do you think if the kitten was really unhappy and hiding from the kids this woman would see that it's better to return her to you?

 

[WonderY]

Thank you I’m so very devastated right now and i feel like I’ve lost her. I have tried all i can to talk to this woman and obviously she is not willing.

I’m not sure if i call that this shelter will even care or try to retrieve her from their home. If they did i would have my husband go pick her up as I’m sure the shelter wouldn’t allow me to re adopt her as i broke the contract originally.

I consulted my friend who is a defense lawyer who states i unfortunately have no legal ground for a police report as she is considered a “gift” and it is recorded in our texts that i gave her to this woman, even though my name is on the chip, the papers, vet bills, etc.

Thank you for your kind words

I can feel your panic, but...you can't be impulsive in your words or actions. Don't go by whim. If you and your partner want the cat back, you have to come up with a clear and firm plan. I would contact your shelter and explain the situation. I'm sure they have heard this kind of situation before (I'd bet money on it). You are only asking for help and I think they may give you the answer...if you are afraid of calling them for fear of losing the cat, well 1) the cat will be back in a safe place ready for a new family 2) you will cry and cry but this is how we ALL learn or 3) they may give you the cat back. I'm not harsh, I feel very much for you....but torturing yourself will lead no where.

 

[Jayess94]

I'm sorry Jayess94 This is a really heart breaking situation. I hope things work out for the kitten and the kids can be taught to be gentle. One of my cats, who came to me as a kitten someone dumped outside my house, used to love the kids who lived next door. They were your typical bratty elementary school kids, but I showed them how to play with wand toys with him and they were really nice to him. He'd wander next door as soon as he heard them come home from school in the afternoon.

Do you think if the kitten was really unhappy and hiding from the kids this woman would see that it's better to return her to you?

At this point i don’t trust her enough to know if she would. I truly hope the kitty is happy, regardless i saved her from euthanasia at a kill shelter as an adult cat since people seem to only adopt kittens. It should give me some peace to know that and it does....but i just wish i could be happy with her. She has horrible skin allergies and after the culture came back negative for ringworm the vet had told me her wound was probably a hot spot from said allergies . I gave her baths in medicated shampoo, put cat T-shirt’s on her to keep from bothering at it, and sprayed it with medicated spray until it was healed skin. Will this woman care for her the same if her skin acts up again? The same woman who told me her husband would get rid of a cat if it was bad or scratched things...:’( my heart says no.

 

[Jayess94]

I can feel your panic, but...you can't be impulsive in your words or actions. Don't go by whim. If you and your partner want the cat back, you have to come up with a clear and firm plan. I would contact your shelter and explain the situation. I'm sure they have heard this kind of situation before (I'd bet money on it). You are only asking for help and I think they may give you the answer...if you are afraid of calling them for fear of losing the cat, well 1) the cat will be back in a safe place ready for a new family 2) you will cry and cry but this is how we ALL learn or 3) they may give you the cat back. I'm not harsh, I feel very much for you....but torturing yourself will lead no where.

That did not seem harsh at all, thank you.

 

[Jayess94]

Pretty Cici in her shirt.
When i got her she weighed only five pounds at 1.5 years old. When she was at the vet last she was over 7.

 

[Jayess94]

Eh now she messaged me this morning saying that i can call the cat police if i want to (lol) because the cat is happy, and sent a picture of her kid playing with her with her freakin T-shirt off like i told her not to. I told her it needed to stay on because she just licks that patch of skin where the hair has not grown back yet. All this does is serve to make me feel guilty and wrong. She could have responded to my pleas days ago and she is not, allowing her kids to grow more and more attached.

 

[maggiedemi]

Does the shelter call to check up on the cats that they adopt out? What will you say if they call?

 

[Winter1013]

Aww, she's beautiful! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like your co-worker is going to budge. If I were you I would really weigh the pros and cons of contacting the shelter. The shelter is very strict where I live and it would not surprise me if they would confiscate an animal due to a third party transfer of ownership. If you contact the shelter and they take her back then, in reality, she's a special needs kitty in a kill facility - which would not be good for her.

With regards to the picture, is there any way she may have just caught an impromptu fun moment with the cat and her son playing? Perhaps she just put medication on her back and was waiting for it to dry before putting her t-shirt back on? I say that because she may truly love your/her cat and that is the reason she will not give her back to you. I volunteered to take care of the kitties at PetSmart in late December for the rescue I got my dog from and that is where I met Jack. I'm not kidding when I tell you it took, oh...about 10 minutes before I was absolutely in love with him. It was still a week before I brought him home because I had to really make sure I wanted to take on a cat in my household of 2 dogs and 2 bunnies (still saw him every night that week as I cared for him and 2 others). None the less, I LOVED him - she really may love your cat too.

Lastly, since she does have allergy/skin issues, tell your co-worker that if at any time the cat care gets to be too much that you will take her back without hesitation. Again, I'm so sorry for your situation - I do hope that your co-worker has a change of heart and you get her back.

 

[rubysmama]

I'm so sorry you're still dealing with this. Your co-worker has obviously dug her heels in now, and is unlikely to change her mind.

Considering the shelter is a kill shelter, I doubt they care what happens to an animal after it leaves them. And if they actually removed Cici from your co-worker's home, I'm certain they would not give her back to you, and that would put Cici's life back in jeopardy.

As as last ditch effort, try offering her money to cover the adoption of another cat. And as someone else suggested, tell her to tell her kids that Cici is sad because she misses her original family, and wants to go home.

But it's really looking as though you are going to have to accept that Cici has a new home.

And then deal with the aftermath with working with this woman. Eventually tell her you're sorry for being so emotional, and hope she accepts your apology. And make it clear that if EVER for ANY REASON they can no longer care for Cici, to let you know, and that you will take her back, no questions asked.

And, remember, even if Cici stays at your co-worker's home, you saved her life!

 

[WonderY]

Hi Jay, she's a cutie! What if you had your husband call the shelter as a "prospective adopter" and just ask general questions pertaining to adoption? Perhaps he can say a "what if question?" Like " if I adopt a cat but it's not working out and I give My friend the cat what would happen?" And what if I if I change my mind and want the cat back but my friend refuses? What should I do? What will happen?"......

 

[Jayess94]

Hi Jay, she's a cutie! What if you had your husband call the shelter as a "prospective adopter" and just ask general questions pertaining to adoption? Perhaps he can say a "what if question?" Like " if I adopt a cat but it's not working out and I give My friend the cat what would happen?" And what if I if I change my mind and want the cat back but my friend refuses? What should I do? What will happen?"......

He called and they said they would have animal control pick it up and we could most likely just come get her.

 

[maggiedemi]

Is that what you are going to do?

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh my gosh! I'm holding my breath here.

 

[Jayess94]

Man oh man. I will really have to give this some thought. Ultimately I don't care what she thinks of me, considering I think she's heartless. But I do care what I think of myself.

I will sleep on it...

 

[Furballsmom]

Not that you are, but don't lose sight of that small furry life that's involved here.