I Need Advice On Wanting My Cat Back!

[Jayess94]

Guess at this point this is her way of telling me no. I should have just told her i was coming to get it immediately the day it was throwing up. I feel as though she’s not being honest with me. We just talked about this the day prior and now she’s acting like the cat is best buddies with her kids sleeping in their bed. This will be very hard to move on from. But it’s not as if i can call her a liar or go to the cops about this. I will have to get over it....

 

[talkingpeanut]

I still think you take the cat back. You have no way to trust this woman, and you feel there has been a mistake. You also violated your agreement with the shelter.

 

[Jayess94]

I still think you take the cat back. You have no way to trust this woman, and you feel there has been a mistake. You also violated your agreement with the shelter.

Yeah i do not trust her so much. I am planning a way of working that in the convo but i have a feeling this won’t be the resolution i was hoping for. My perception is i don’t understand why she can’t see that it uncomfortable and much prefer this kitty with me. She can always get another animal, her family is not attached by 7 days. And her perception is probably why can’t this girl leave the cat with me I’m sure it’ll be fine here.

 

[talkingpeanut]

You need to stop being gentle and let her know that you need the cat back. You’re giving her room to wiggle out of it. Don’t drag this out any longer.

 

[Jayess94]

She has not responded, but I know she is working. However she did not respond to me yesterday and I'm not really willing to anxiously sit around all day. I sent her a message that said I hope there is resolution to this soon, it doesn't need to be dragged out.

 

[Jayess94]

and now I have tried everything and she will not give her back. I've dried mentioning im on the adoption paper, the microchip, the vet bills, etc. telling her that I made a huge mistake and that from the bottom of my heart I was sorry and didn't intend for this to happen and wanted her desperately back. nothing will work she said no. I feel as if I am now grieving over this almost. What did I do.......
all I can take from it is a large life lesson but I am very unhappy.

 

[talkingpeanut]

I think you are being too nice. Have you tried being firm? Involving the shelter?

 

[Jayess94]

Here has been the convo from her: Itold you I would let you know if it didn't work out with the cat and I will. Currently it is working just fine and all are happy. I don't foresee any issues. I know you paid for her and supplies that you gave me so if it is a monetary thing let me know and I will gladly reimburse you your cost.

Me: I am on the adoption papers, on the microchip and on the vet bills. With that being said it is not a monetary issue whatsoever. I don’t want that at all Sara i would like to pick her up. It took a lot for me to ask as i know it’s an awkward situation. Putting my heart on the line here. We have to work together and I’d like to maintain some form of cordiality but i feel strongly about this. I can recommend other shelters that have pets that may be a good fit

Her: Ok. I am just going to be direct. It is not fair to my boys or the cat. I am not sure if you think the cat is unhappy or what but that is not the case. You wanted to get rid of the cat pretty shortly after getting her and you gave her to me. Sorry but she is our cat now. Hope you can understand my position.

Me: She has been there for one week, and i had her for two months. I did not realize my level of attachment. I panicked to early about trying to make it work with my cat. Sara i deeply apologize and did not mean for any of this to happen. My anxiety has been through the roof and wanted to text you the moment she left but did not have the courage. I am hoping you will hear my pleas and reconsider..i am very desperate to have her back and have cried since she left. Please, from the bottom of my heart can i have any kitty? I feel so bad for asking you but i am heartbroken. I hope you will forgive me and show me some kindness here.

 

[Jayess94]

My next step when she responds with another no would be that when the shelter calls to check on her they will ultimately take her back if they see that she is not with the person who legally adopted her.

I just hate confrontation so much. I never wanted it to be this way. I was hoping she’d understand that i made a mistake and tell her boys that the cats mommy misses her and they can go looking for new kitties. I tried to put the blame on me as much as possible and not make it out to be like it was anything against her kids personally. If i were her I’d be annoyed too and i get that it seems unfair for me to ask,but ultimately I’d talk to my kids and let the person have their cat back.

I think i do have legal ownership of this cat but if i involved the shelter i would not want to see her stuck back in the pound.

 

[maggiedemi]

Did you show her the contract? Scan it and email it to her.

 

[Norachan]

I think you're being to soft with her. She's using her kids to make you feel like the villain in this case.

I think you have 2 options. Scan her a copy of the adoption contract and say that she either returns the kitten or you will contact the shelter. This will mean you may end up losing the kitten too, but if you are firm and tell her that this is what you will do she may back down and let you have your kitten back without you involving the shelter.

Or you'll just have to drop it and trust her to take care of the kitten properly.

 

[Jayess94]

One of my other coworkers was there today and said she spoke to her about it and “felt very bad” and was considering giving it back as i was upset over it. She advised me that seemed to be working and to see if she changes her mind before doing that contract as a last resort.

 

[Jayess94]

So she has not answered that heartfelt message that i sent last night. She is working today and so am i. My other coworker said that the reason she doesn’t want to give me the cat back and get another is cause she’s unsure how to explain to her kids she is afraid that if they get a new cat it won’t be “a good one”. I feel like that’s a bullshit reason not to give mine back. My coworker told her that she should go with her kids to pick out a new cat and interact with it so that they know it’s a good fit and just explain to her kids that the other cat misses it’s old family.

I don’t know whether to text her again and be like did you consider what i said? And if she still says no i am going to be direct and say I’ll have to get the shelter involved.

 

[Furballsmom]

Bless your co worker's heart! I understand, I don't like confrontation one little bit either, but I've found I'll go to some pretty incredible lengths if an animal or vulnerable child is involved.

 

[talkingpeanut]

Will you be able to talk to her in person at work? If so, I would hold off on texting.

 

[Jayess94]

We are nurses that work on different units but technically if i have a client i need to bring to her unit i could stop into the nurses station and ask if she has any thoughts on what we talked about. But that is a scary thought! I’m a whimp. Also there would be someone else in there it would be hard to get her alone

 

[Jayess94]

She still didn't text back and I wasn't able to go to the unit she was on today. I sent her a message that said: you have not responded all day. Do you have any last thoughts on this? I think I have made my point in expressing my upset. Again it has been hours and no reply. No I am very frustrated and flat out angry. For her to ignore me about something of such concern is ridiculous. Even if she wants to text me back to tell me to F off, she should do so rather than leave me hanging. I'm supposed to trust someone with this animal that doesn't even have the respect to communicate...

 

[Jayess94]

I sent the last message I will send to her at all. "To not even have the respect to communicate with me about this is highly upsetting. I'm sitting here all day having anxiety attacks while you ignore me. In this case since you cannot solve this with me ourselves, I will be contacting the shelter since the cat is legally mine and it is in the adoption contract that there cannot be a transfer to a third party. Ultimately they will remove the cat. I hate that it had to come to this"

I feel as though she will most likely not even respond.

 

[Furballsmom]

Good for you.

 

[Norachan]

I sent the last message I will send to her at all. "To not even have the respect to communicate with me about this is highly upsetting. I'm sitting here all day having anxiety attacks while you ignore me. In this case since you cannot solve this with me ourselves, I will be contacting the shelter since the cat is legally mine and it is in the adoption contract that there cannot be a transfer to a third party. Ultimately they will remove the cat. I hate that it had to come to this"

I feel as though she will most likely not even respond.

I think that's the best idea. Hopefully she will realise how upset you are and be willing to talk things over with you.