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- Mar 14, 2016
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I am so sorry, I can totally see and understand how overwhelming it is. I have been there. Taking care of a loved one, work, housework, taking care of the animals all by ourselves. It can be overwhelming and stressful. But take a deep breathe and just tackle one situation at a time, prioritize, accomplish a task then move to the next. I have faced that many times and gotten through it and I know you will as well.
I am so sorry that your bf got so ill but I am glad to hear you have nursed him to get him almost back on his feet. Once he can get over it and help that will help the situation a lot.
One of the most important things in situations like this is to try (and I know it is hard) to just try to stay as calm and not let the stress get to you. It is easier said than done but accepting the situation and doing your best taking one task at a time should help.
Cats are very sensitive to stress and changes in routine. Sadly, when someone falls ill stress goes up and the routine is harder or impossible to maintain. When this happens a cat can act out as they take on the stress in the household and worry about the health of their loved one (the human). Peeing and excessive meowing can be a result of this different environment which causes the cat stress. Then when the cat feels more stress and shows it (by peeing, meowing, scratching things up, etc) it causes the humans to be more stressed and it continues to build. And it gets us to a point of "breaking". Extreme frustration, stress, unhappiness, etc.
So, I think I understand why Cosmo is doing what he is doing right now. The stress level is probably the highest it has ever been in the house and his loved one (your bf) is not the same and causing Cosmo stress. The good news is your bf will get better and a routine will be re-established and things will improve. I guarantee Cosmo does not want to be like this, he is acting out because of his stress, and once the stress reduces and your bf is back to normal so will Cosmo.
How is Cosmo acting other than the issues mentioned? Avoiding any areas? Walking differently (lower?)? Things like that.
He didn't have these issues before (to this extent) and there is an understandable cause to why this is happening so I am highly confident that this will end.
So what to do from here. Just get your bf back healthy. Try to keep the routine constant (feed at the same time, IF you can play with them do so BUT I know time is not really available). Take time for yourself. Just try to de-stress and take one task at a time. Realize everything can't be done at once and prioritize what needs to be done. Just accept that some things can be done as well as before. Try to de-stress as much as possible and just take a moment (or a few) to sit and relax. I know it is hard to find the time but anything to just help de-stress.
I think all the issues are from your bf being ill so that will end soon so many of the issues will end with that. You will get through this. I have been there many many times in life and I know exactly how you are feeling. That overwhelmed, helpless, stressed, frustrated, that feeling there is no idea what the right next move is since there are so many things needed to be done "now". And so much more. But just prioritize and accept you are not able to do 10 things at once. I find accepting and taking a deep breathe and prioritizing tends to help reduce the stress but we all are a little different.
I think you will be amazed and how things return to normal (with the cats) once things around the house return to normal. Then we can work on making progress with the cats. I think you are so close to having them together. And once they are together a lot of the issues we have seen will be gone.
Don't worry, you have done a GREAT job with the cats to this point and I have no doubt you will continue to do a great job. The cats are great cats so they will respond. And once things start going "right" again then you'll be less stressed and so will the cats.
Hang in there, you are almost through this. And please post anytime. Even if it is just to help "get things out" as telling someone about the stresses can actually help us in dealing with them. You are not alone with what you are going through, we have all been through this and it really does work out. You have the desire and knowledge to succeed. We will succeed.
I am so sorry that your bf got so ill but I am glad to hear you have nursed him to get him almost back on his feet. Once he can get over it and help that will help the situation a lot.
One of the most important things in situations like this is to try (and I know it is hard) to just try to stay as calm and not let the stress get to you. It is easier said than done but accepting the situation and doing your best taking one task at a time should help.
Cats are very sensitive to stress and changes in routine. Sadly, when someone falls ill stress goes up and the routine is harder or impossible to maintain. When this happens a cat can act out as they take on the stress in the household and worry about the health of their loved one (the human). Peeing and excessive meowing can be a result of this different environment which causes the cat stress. Then when the cat feels more stress and shows it (by peeing, meowing, scratching things up, etc) it causes the humans to be more stressed and it continues to build. And it gets us to a point of "breaking". Extreme frustration, stress, unhappiness, etc.
So, I think I understand why Cosmo is doing what he is doing right now. The stress level is probably the highest it has ever been in the house and his loved one (your bf) is not the same and causing Cosmo stress. The good news is your bf will get better and a routine will be re-established and things will improve. I guarantee Cosmo does not want to be like this, he is acting out because of his stress, and once the stress reduces and your bf is back to normal so will Cosmo.
How is Cosmo acting other than the issues mentioned? Avoiding any areas? Walking differently (lower?)? Things like that.
He didn't have these issues before (to this extent) and there is an understandable cause to why this is happening so I am highly confident that this will end.
So what to do from here. Just get your bf back healthy. Try to keep the routine constant (feed at the same time, IF you can play with them do so BUT I know time is not really available). Take time for yourself. Just try to de-stress and take one task at a time. Realize everything can't be done at once and prioritize what needs to be done. Just accept that some things can be done as well as before. Try to de-stress as much as possible and just take a moment (or a few) to sit and relax. I know it is hard to find the time but anything to just help de-stress.
I think all the issues are from your bf being ill so that will end soon so many of the issues will end with that. You will get through this. I have been there many many times in life and I know exactly how you are feeling. That overwhelmed, helpless, stressed, frustrated, that feeling there is no idea what the right next move is since there are so many things needed to be done "now". And so much more. But just prioritize and accept you are not able to do 10 things at once. I find accepting and taking a deep breathe and prioritizing tends to help reduce the stress but we all are a little different.
I think you will be amazed and how things return to normal (with the cats) once things around the house return to normal. Then we can work on making progress with the cats. I think you are so close to having them together. And once they are together a lot of the issues we have seen will be gone.
Don't worry, you have done a GREAT job with the cats to this point and I have no doubt you will continue to do a great job. The cats are great cats so they will respond. And once things start going "right" again then you'll be less stressed and so will the cats.
Hang in there, you are almost through this. And please post anytime. Even if it is just to help "get things out" as telling someone about the stresses can actually help us in dealing with them. You are not alone with what you are going through, we have all been through this and it really does work out. You have the desire and knowledge to succeed. We will succeed.