Struggling With Play Time

[Animal Freak]

Yeah, the feral concerns me. He's kept in one of the top cages so he's about eye level. I don't know why anyone would bring a feral cat into a rescue. I mean, they probably meant well, but I think it would be better for him to be left outside. Of course, I know cats are better off inside, but I have to think about the amount of stress he's probably in right now. He went from avoiding humans and living outdoors to being forced to deal with them and living in a cage in a room full of strange cats. I don't think a life like that is any better than a life outside. Hopefully they know what they're doing and can help him, but it seems like TNR would have been better.

I hope they like something they get for Christmas. Well, I intend on getting some catnip toys so Ember at least will enjoy that. The other two like them every now and then. I always keep their likes in mind, but it's hard with three of them to consider. We honestly enjoy getting them all the neat toys and electronic things, but it all adds up and they lose interest in everything so quickly. It's like you spend $20+ for them to get a weeks worth of entertainment. Sometimes less. And I find that once the toy is out of sight/sitting still, they lose interest. Sometimes they enjoy it when the toy is just barely moving. Sometimes when it's rapidly moving.

I believe it. I might not have seen much proof of them being sympathetic, but I do believe it. I think that they're more complex than most people want to admit. They just have their priorities straightened out.

Ember is definitely special. I've never had a cat quite like her. And I mean that in the best way possible, though it's true the other way too. I hope she's happy here. I think she is. Of course, she's never known anything else either so it's hard to know what she might prefer, but I'm going to try to make sure she prefers it here anyway. They've all had their chance(s) to get away, now they're stuck with me forever!

I'll look into them. Hopefully we'll find someone who'll do it for free. I think our only other problem is that, if we have to catch the cat, we have limited time to be able to take him up there. I'll keep you updated on the situation too. We honestly have no clue what we're doing. Just that we want to help. It's really not the best area for him to make his home, but he's here anyway. We might as well offer him some shelter at the very least. Might not being getting many birds at my bird feeder anymore though... Not that I've been getting many anyway.

 

[calicosrspecial]

It is a tough call. I do think it is good the cat is in a top cage at eye level as height gives confidence and we awlays want to approach a cat from "below". So if that was a conscious decision (which I am guessing it was) then it suggests to me that they have done the right thing so far.

It is tough with ferals. Mine are very socialized and could be in homes if I could find them one. I have ferals come around that are very feral. There is a spectrum of "feral". So it depends on how feral the cat is. Some have potential and are close to being able to be in a home. Others are impossible. It is really an art in determining. I am guessing there is some sense this cat could be socialized. It is much better inside than outside with all the risks but a cat has to be able to be socialized. It is very tough. There are people like me that would take any feral in if they have room (problem is most of us are full). Hopefully the top people in the rescue have thought it through (I assume they have). I do everything myself and don't use rescues etc because I don't want to take a place from another cat. But I don't know, maybe I am wrong? If the cat finds a forever home it will be worth it.

I know exactly what you mean, it is tricky. But you are doing your best. That is all you can do. Cats are intelligent so it is tough to keep them interested. Best thing to do is make any toy etc act like prey. I have found that to be the most successful thing.

It is amazing. I have had some tough times and seeing how they act towards me and try to comfort is amazing. There is a lot more in them then most people think. You are exactly right, VERY COMPLEX.

I think Ember wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Just a feeling I have, hard to explain. I have one similar to Ember, I guess I see it in her. I am sure they love where they are, like you said they don't go anywhere else.

They are an excellent resource. I hope you can find someone as well. I know when I do it I go to the place and trap them and take them away. I do it on my own not through anyone though. I think there are a lot of people like me that do it to help. In TNR we always return them to the same place. And let them determine where to go or stay etc. Some people do provide shelter, food, water, others don't. It depends. But at least they have their shots and can't reproduce. Just let me know how things go and if you have any questions. But make sure you contact them just in case they have someone near you to help.

 

[Animal Freak]

I've kind of gotten the sense that some are more feral than others just from what little I've read on this site. It's really quite interesting. I've been interested in feral colonies and taking care of them since I read on here about someone who had a rather large colony of ferals and they moved the majority of the cats with them. It was an amazing thing to read. Getting a ferals trust is a big thing. That would be a huge accomplishment for anyone. I'm sure it's very stressful too, though.

I do hope he gets a good home and that he's not being unnecessarily stressed. Hopefully he'll get used to having people around. I do wish I knew what they were doing for him though and that they aren't just keeping him in a cage. Someone does manage to feed him, but I'm not sure if that's because he lets them or he's too scared to do anything. I do believe that happiness--to some extent-- is more important than health. Of course, short-term misery for long-term health is always worth it, but if it becomes long-term misery then that's something else. I'll keep an eye on him when I go there though. He seemed pretty healthy as far as I could tell, but he was all bunched up in a corner.

It's definitely tough. I like offering them things to do and the best of the best of everything, but it just doesn't last long enough to be worth it in the long run. They'll be getting some catnip toys and a new wand toy though. Maybe a couple other things too. I can't afford to go all out, but they're getting stuff from my mom too. Stella's toys tend to be more expensive.

There is definitely a lot more to them than people want to give them credit for. They might not think in the same manner as people, but that is often for the best. We might have laptops and TVs and smartphones, but they still have the small things in life that make it meaningful. They find joy in watching the birds or having a wrestling match while we need electronics at our fingertips constantly.

I hope you're right. I might not ever know for sure, but I would like to think she wants to be here. They really did have the chance to leave though. Twice. Both of which I feel terrible about, but it was a stressful time and I had barely spent any time in the room the window got left open in. I knew it was open, but I didn't think that, among that many people, they'd all manage to forget to close it.

We haven't contacted them yet. I was gone for the weekend and just got back tonight. I wanted to talk to my mom about it rather than just text which I hate doing. She seemed agreeable though so we should be contacting them soon. I'm going to keep an eye out for the feral (or any other ferals) now that I know they're there. I honestly have only seen one cat since we moved here and that was a very friendly cat. We kept an eye out to see if it had been dumped, but never saw it again. This cat we're trying to help my mom has seen multiple times, but I've never gotten a glimpse of. We did get straw though so I'll be putting some of that in the box we set out for cats. If I can start making a little extra money then I'll start putting food out too, but we do throw leftovers out a lot. Mostly stuff for the birds, but I might make sure any scraps of meat I can get my hands on go to the cat(s). I have to admit, it's a little exciting. Like I said, I've been interested in taking care of ferals since reading a story, but I never thought I'd be able to do it any time soon, if ever. I might not be able to do a whole lot for him, but I'm happy to do what I can.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Cats are really good judges of character. I think they can sense a lot. And if you build their trust and use food it really is pretty normal. Of course the history is important. what their interactions have been, but I have never actually encountered a mean feral. Scared yes but I have never had one be mean. I have been hissed at but never attacked. But I have experience in interacting with them. After trapping because they are scared they thrash around and get upset but never in the world. But a person's body language is really important. It is complicated. Having a colony and dealing with ferals is great but as you say stressful because you can't guarantee their safety etc. You can do all you can but the world is a dangerous place for cats.

Yeah, it is tricky. Scared ferals tend to be very still. So feeding usually isn't an issue. And using food to build trust and associate humans with something good is very important. I hope so too. I have had ferals recover from surgery for many days and they were fine after. But you are right, being confined long term in a cage is not a good life. There is a balance. Hopefully they can slowly build trust and work on socializing. Not every home is good for a feral but there are many homes that can be great. Let's hope.

Yes. I always say true love is most important. Toys are great but love is the best. Of course love doesn't help them maintain their weight etc but it goes a long way. Just do your best. I think the movement is also very important. Yes, dog toys are expensive.

Cats are incredibly complex at times. Amazing creatures. Intelligent, feeling. They care about us humans more than we realize. My ferals are in tune. It is amazing. I love them. Actually I have never met a cat I didn't love even the ones that are a bit difficult. I had a feral hiss at me every feeding time. Big scary hiss. Then I would hand feed her chicken. It was just her. And she was always careful, never once got my fingers. Amazing.

I think you will know. Or you will see it and believe it. I truly believe they are where they are for more than just food and shelter. And the way they interact with the humans. Some day really look at how they look at you. Hard to explain but I think you will see the love. I get a sense they love their life and where they live and with the people they live with. Ember especially, there is a very special bond there.

That is great. Just let me know if you need advice. Taking care of ferals can be hard especially emotionally. And it can cause issues with inside cats. So there are things to watch out for etc. The most important thing is to get them spayed or neutered. Providing shelter and possibly food is great to. Just let me know as i am happy to give advice and try to help.

 

[Animal Freak]

I can believe that though my cats like the people who don't really care about them. Fortunately, no one outright dislikes them, but there are those who prefer dogs over cats and wouldn't be found with a cat of their own. I don't mean to say that ferals are aggressive or anything though. I'd expect them to lash out out of fear more than anything, but what do I know? I've never really interacted with ferals. I would probably have trouble because I'm such an anxious person. I don't fear them being mean, but I fear accidentally scaring them. And, of course, knowing I'm one to worry tends to just make me worry more. I've grown calmer when incidents happen among my cats though so maybe I'll get better.

I don't really know what I expected from him. I didn't think he'd be lashing at the bars trying to attack me, but at least some growling. He's still quite new there and I've seen little kittens hiss at other kittens just because of the stress of being there. I suppose a feral's mind works very differently than a kitten's mind though. I do hope they work on building trust though. I'll see if I notice any changes in his behavior when I go there.

Well, I do love them. Very much. No matter how much work I have to put into taking care of them, I could never stop loving them. That doesn't mean I don't want to get them every neat toy I find, but I restrain myself. I actually enjoy shopping for them more than shopping for myself in most cases.

That they are. Sometimes I wish I knew what was going in in their heads, but I think the process of figuring it all out without the use of words helps deepen the bond we create with them. We form our own language with our cats, one only we can understand. My cats have never been aggressive towards me, but it amazes me just how gentle they are. For some reason I absolutely love handing Ember treats just because you can tell she puts so much effort into taking it gently. It's adorable and I'm not entirely sure why. The only time she's ever bitten me was when I was holding on to a little piece of a chicken jerky dog treat. She really liked those, but I never wanted to give them to her because they were so hard and I was afraid she'd choke. Why a dog can handle it, but not a cat, I don't know. That's just me. They seem more delicate somehow. But I wasn't paying attention that one time and she came up behind me. It didn't really hurt, but it surprised me so much that I let go of the treat and she took off with it. I wasn't mad, of course. Even then, she was still quite gentle. It was probably the first time I had ever felt her teeth though.

I think I am starting to believe it. I'm the type of person who will probably always have that doubt nagging at the back of my mind, but I do believe she loves me. I can't say by how much or if it's even close to how I feel about her, but I do believe it's there.

Some odd things are happening though. Earlier I was playing with Ember and she ran past Frost. He basically jumped her all of a sudden with this terrible meowing/yowling sound. It ended almost as quickly as it began and I'm still not sure if it was meant to be playful or aggressive. It didn't sound playful at all, but he has become rather vocal in play and she just sort of flopped down. She might have been a little stunned though. Ember laid there for a moment after he walked away and I went over to pet her. It might just be me, but it seemed like it took her a moment to start enjoying the attention. Then she went and laid underneath me because I was on all fours. She does that on occasion, but that was the second time today.

Just a little bit ago, I heard hissing. Before I could even get up, Ash came running in and jumped onto the cat tree. Ember came stalking in shortly after, her tail all puffed up. I petted them both some, but she wanted nothing to do with it. I've kind of learned that she needs to get over it on her own though and it didn't seem too bad since she hadn't chased him in like usual. So I left them be and she stared at him for a while longer. Then Frost got on the cat tree just under Ash. Time skip to when I was in the middle of typing this and the boys were starting a wrestling match on the cat tree which I hate because I'm afraid of them getting hurt. I let it go though and stopped paying attention. I should have stopped them though. I knew I should have. Ember gets a little anxious when they wrestle and it was still too soon after the incident. I had even thought about getting up and breaking up their game, but I decided to leave it be. She seemed okay and I'd like her to learn to relax while they play rather than waiting for a sign that it's not play. Well, sure enough, Frost fell. He was fine, of course, but it spooked Ember and she charged at him. She stopped though like she realized it was him. I've no idea why Frost can do no harm, but Ash does little to nothing and gets attacked. She was staring at him and whatnot and I think he growled. I heard growling. I thought it would be her, but even when she turned away from him, I still heard it.

Her tail was all puffed up again though and she walked to about as far as she could get from him while keeping him in sight. I petted her a bit which she didn't really appreciate. Then I petted Ash and went back to her and rubbed my hands on her cheeks and down her sides. She didn't really fight it, but she would move away the first chance she got. Once she calmed down a little and her tail wasn't puffed, I picked her up. I don't hold her in place or anything. I have one hand holding her back feet and her front legs braced on the crook of my elbow and my arm around her where she can still easily get away, but I'm also keeping her from falling. We started over a few feet away and every time she'd stop blatantly staring at him, I'd take a step forward. I repeated the process until she was close enough to lean over and sniff him. She did so without a problem. It was actually only when I pulled her away that she growled. I turned away from him and took a few steps, then repeated the process again. Again, no issues. At that point in time, I just let her decide when she jumped down. But she stayed for a few minutes. She laid in my arms and looked around. She even put her head down a couple of time and acted like she was going to fall asleep there, in my arms, less that a foot away from the "enemy."

I have to admit, as much as I hate it when they fight, the time after that when I hold her and she does nothing to get away is rather special. Today especially so because she didn't even bother to leave once she was satisfied Ash wasn't going to attack her. Usually I'd take her around and show her there's no threat. Then she'd go around on her own and double check. This time she didn't do that though. Even though she still didn't fully trust Ash even after she got down, she seemed completely comfortable laying so close to him while I held her. She did finally jump down which my wrist appreciated because she's really quite heavy and it was starting to hurt. Then she laid and stared at him for a while, but she seems calm now. She still hasn't moved, but she stopped staring and is now grooming.

I'm kind of already feeling the pressure of taking care of a feral and I haven't even seen him yet! I just realized we're wanting to help this cat when we have no intentions of staying here. Of course, that's an issue to worry about later down the road, but I can't help but worry. Even if he came to trust us enough for me to feel comfortable doing that, and even if my mom agreed to taking a fourth cat (fifth animal) with us, I don't know how we're going to manage the four we have! But I think I'm just going to have to push that worry away for a while. I can help him while I'm here at least and ferals aren't known for living long. We'll be here a while longer. I really want to see him though. My mom said he was a pretty orange cat. I'll let you know how it all goes though. If we actually do manage to keep him around and take care of him, I'm sure we'll need the help.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I think being cool and calm helps cats a lot. So if someone loves cats but is too rambunctious then it can scare a cat. It is all about what they are accustomed to and how confident and calm a person acts. It is hard to explain sadly. Cats can sense anxiety so they get more on edge and defensive and then things can escalate. I guess I have interacted with so many cats and I trust them as long as I don't do anything different that that helps them be more confident and trusting. It is hard to explain sadly.

Usually ferals are very still and very scared. In a trap is different but once in a crate that is the way they tend to be. It is hard to see honestly. I hope they can build his trust and confidence and help him find a forever home. It can be easy and it can be hard. It is just hard to know without interacting with him. I hope the rescue knows how to deal with ferals (I am sure they do).

I know you love them and I so know the feeling. It is fun to do things for them.

It really is. And it is amazing how we can communicate without words. I feed the ferals chicken all the time. Even they are careful not to hurt. Sometimes they get a little excited and I can feel their teeth but somehow they realize that it is my finger and back off amazingly. It really is astonishing how they really do care.

You will see it even more. There is a lot of love there, trust me.

The fact Ash ran from Ember and went up in the world (on a tree) is a good sign. Mine get wild too on cat trees and everywhere, I too worry. I don't like that Ember's tail was big but it didn't end up in anything too bad. Ember is almost like a policeman, trying to keep order. Hissing is communication and they communicated and avoiding getting into anything. That is good. That is what we want. Some cats are able to get away with more than others. I have it in my house. Why? I don't know. But it does happen.

That is good. Letting her know that everything is ok, that he is not a threat. And the fact she calmed down is great. Positive association and security. Just be careful about being at risk of being hurt. Ember wouldn't want to hurt you but it can happen. Just be aware of the risks and make sure you don't get hurt.

Perfect. Stare, nothing happens then grooming. Negative encounter averted. Positive.

Don't worry, we'll get through it. The main thing is to reduce the risk of reproduction and reducing the risk of fighting over females. We'll work through it, don't worry, whatever you do will be better than doing nothing. We'll cross each path as we come to them.

 

[Animal Freak]

I get it. My dad doesn't care for cats, but he's probably the calmest person I know. They love him. My sister, however, loves cat, but doesn't know how the respect them. She would chase them (especially Ember) in an attempt to pet them and they ran from her. I didn't realize how much that was affecting Ember until my sister got a bit older and more timid. She doesn't chase them anymore and Ember comes out for attention now. My issue is that, when I'm around an unfamiliar animal, I don't know what to expect and fear doing something wrong. I have a lack of experience, which I would like to change.

I hope so too. This is the first time I've seen them with a feral and I've been going there for over a year, maybe close to two. I don't think their shelter is quite made for handling a feral. There's not really anywhere for him to be able to get outside of the cage unless they do it before or after hours when no one else is around.

I think it's pretty impressive to be able to form a relationship like that with ferals. My cats are gentle, but they at least grew up with people. Of course, it still amazes me when I read stories of how people's domestic cats lash out at them. Even the "teen phase" some go through. I didn't even know that was a thing until joining this site. Apparently I broke my cats because I've never had that issue.

I didn't like her tail being all bushy either. It's the first time that's happened in a while. I had been noticing that, even with some of our near-fights, she hadn't been fluffing up her tail. She's been maintain confidence a lot more lately. There are times she lashes out at the dog, but her tail will still stay up. I don't typically worry when I see that. But this seemed worse than the problems that have become normal. Not too bad, but worse.

I know, I should probably be more careful. I have yet to find a situation in which she acts aggressively towards me though. Of course I know that, even if she did, it wouldn't be out of aggression. Even in those times where she's very tense, she won't even so much as lay a claw on me. I did, however, wait for her tail to slim down before I picked her up and I petted her beforehand to see what she was willing to put up with.

Yeah, I'm thinking way to far ahead. I'll let you know how things go though and if we have any issues. I'm trying to figure out what to do to see him or if there are any other ferals. I don't know other than either sit out on the porch for a really long time or put some food out, but I don't want to start feeding if I'm not going to keep up with it.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Exactly. It is all about the humans energy and how the cat responds to it. I learned so much by being with ferals. The attitude, the body language, etc. We all do it to some degree around unfamiliar animals. Cats are more consistent relative to dogs in my experience. You will get there. But it is important to be careful around unknown animals. Be safe first.

Yeah, it is tricky. And getting a feral out is easy getting them back in is very difficult. I am sure they will do what is best. It is tough, it is tough for me. If he could only have a separate room but I am sure that is impossible. maybe a foster parent will end up taking him. A feral really needs a room to be socialized in but that is my opinion. I am sure others have had success doing it differently.

I honestly think cats are cats. And they respond to trust and love and are good judges of intent. I have an intact male that comes around once in a while. He was skittish then I feed him food a few times and he now comes up to me and is right there ready to eat. Really fast. He must have had some prior human interaction but food and the human's attitude does wonders. I have another intact male that I have seen twice now. He stays away but sees me give him food then comes and eats. I hope i can get him to trust. I need to trap them both. The one is very trap savvy sadly. Haven't yet tried on the new one.

Everyone always blames the cats but I think a lot of the times it is the human. I actually don't even know the "teen phase". I need to look that up.

I think you have done a really good job. You built trust, showed love, built confidence. I think that goes a long way in avoiding issues.

Yeah, I understand you. One of my girl's tails got puffed up the other day. And I was like "whoa". But as long as that is all it is then it isn't too bad. I know what you mean, worse, but not bad necessarily. Don't worry, I know you can handle the situation.

I know exactly your thinking. Yeah, just be careful because they can get to a point where they don't know what they are doing. They don't want to hurt but it can happen. Just keep an eye on their eyes, body language, vibe, etc.

Well, you are planning, thinking about what to do and what is best. Nothing wrong with that. Just don't stress about it. Ferals are typically where the food is and where the shelter is. I feed so "word must get out" that I am a food source. Ferals are typically very hard to see if they are true ferals. They like to be stealthy. And that is actually very good. I struggle a lot with how comfortable I want them to be around people if I can't find them a home since a visible cat is a more vulnerable cat. It is a balancing act in my mind. But we will get through this, don't worry. We will do our best.

 

[Animal Freak]

Dogs are very much the same when it comes to body language and whatnot. I've seen my people-obsessed, hyperactive dog cower when someone reached out to pet her. Neither my mom nor I liked the man either despite the fact that he only asked me about Stella and her breed. We noticed a difference at the shelter when we volunteered too. Just between my mom and me, there was a noticeable change in behavior. My mom is, in no way, a bad person, but she's not really a dog person either. They were a bit more timid and hesitant with her. A dog she said sniffed her and walked away jumped on me when I turned my back and wouldn't let go. It's amazing how much they know even in a few short moments. I think if I get to volunteer at the shelter more then I'll be able to handle myself better around unknown animals.

I do hope a foster will come up, but I'm not letting my hopes get high. I'm sure the people who volunteer there are all good people, but I don't know how many can handle a feral. I'd be willing to do it myself if I were in the right circumstances, but there's no way. I'm inexperienced, have rather little time, no money to spend, and no space to keep him separate. He's better off with people who are used to handling different animals.

And that is very true. Every cat is different just as every human is different, so every situation is going to be different. There might be even fewer "norms" for cats than people. However, I do think our breeding them (and I'm not saying this to put breeders down) dulls the instincts. I can see a difference just between the boys and Ember despite the fact that they were all raised by humans and have never needed to fend for themselves. In fact, there have been a couple of incidents recently that express just how different Ember is. Yesterday, my mom moved her foot while Ember was by her legs and the cat jumped right into a small table. The table fell over and Ember was gone almost before it hit the floor. It took a few minutes before she came back and a few more before she felt at all comfortable. Today, too, there was a noise. Something fell against the wall and she took off. It was smaller and took less time for her to get comfortable, but the boys were mostly unfazed. And if Ember is that bad without even being feral, I can only imagine how jumpy and anxious an actual feral is.

It very likely could be, though, from what I've read, it sounds like a lot of people have gone through that phase of rebellion. I don't know what we did to prevent that from happening, but I'm glad it happened. All of my cats are relatively well-behaved other than the secret adventures on the counters and the occasional snacking on a plant or piece of plastic.

I don't know, Ember seems a bit jumpy lately. It might be nothing. I could be looking too far into things. It just seems odd that there were two incidents in one day and she's been scared twice in two days. She's been bullying Ash a little when I'm preparing dinner every day though sometimes it looks like it could be play. Maybe it's all just a coincidence. They're all a bit jumpy and her especially.

I will. I've gotten a bit more observant when it comes to watching body language. I've been looking for their tail positions a lot to see when they're holding their tails up.

I saw him, I saw him! It took long enough. And he kind of scared me. I was taking the dog out for a walk and just got to the sidewalk when I saw an orange blob walking down the sidewalk towards us. Of course, my vision is crap even with my glasses and, for some reason, I didn't quite connect the orange blob as the cat at first. I didn't think a feral would walk towards us either. I seemed to notice him before he noticed us. Or at least before he reacted. He was sniffing around and then stopped to stare at us. I had the dog stay in the yard (she really wanted to go say hi!) so I could inch closer and try to get a picture. He didn't seem like he wanted to run and he really wasn't all that far. I had been right outside our house and he stopped just a little past the next door neighbor's house. After a moment, he walked to the end of the neighbor's driveway and stood there. I looked away and when I looked up, he was gone, but then I saw him under the neighbor's car. We kept walking and by the time we got back, he wasn't there. Then I saw him across the street on the sidewalk with his back to us. He looked over his shoulder and I talked to him a little. His ear twitched so he heard me. He got up a moment later and went around the side of someone else's house. Now we're trying to think of a name for him. He's a handsome, kind of light orange cat with a white tail tip. I didn't see any details beyond that though.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I think you will do a great job with unknown animals. It is interesting, I had a dog that was incredibly protective. Good person, bad person, it didn't matter. She would not let anyone get close to me. I wondered what I did wrong with her. Some dogs love almost anyone. It is interesting. Dogs are a little more complex in my experience. I love dogs though.

I hope so as well. When you reach out to Alley Cat Allies you can see if they have someone in your area that might be willing or able to assess him and see if there is a possibility to socialize him etc. It really does take time, knowledge, experience, effort and space.

It is interesting. I am with ferals all the time so it is hard to know other backgrounds for me. I would say I do see a difference in females vs males. I think probably due to the motherly, survival instinct. I also see that females are usually (not always) better hunters. Some of my females had kittens before I trapped TNR'd them or spayed and brought them in and there may be a difference in actually being a mother vs just being female. Some of mine react differently to falling things and sneezes etc. Interesting the differences. Ferals I think probably have a more heightened survival instinct as they had to in order to survive being in the wild.

That is interesting. Maybe I have gone through it but didn't think of it in terms of that. I think we all have those "secret adventures". Last night my one girl (who loves breads) decided to somehow open a cabinet and get some rolls. She can be so naughty. I wonder if when she was on the streets she liked breads or someone fed her breads. Because she LOVES breads.

Cats can get a bit jumpy at times. It is usually hard to know why. It could be an incident between cats, it could be stress in the house. We get that here once in a while. Just work on confidence and letting her know it is ok when something falls etc. I try to be extra loving, get them to purr. Things like that. It may not help in the short term but longer term I have seen them be less skittish. And anytime we turn a potential negative into a non-event or a positive then they tend to build more trust. We still want that survival instinct but we want them to differentiate a little more and recover quickly. Skittish isn't too bad.

Yes, exactly, body language is really important. It tells us a lot.

VERY cool!! It sounds like he is pretty calm. Real ferals tend to be very hard to see and if they see a person they are gone in a flash. He sounds like he is at least somewhat comfortable with people. That is good behavior. I have a cat now inside that our first meeting was like that (except she was more stealthy). She ran under the car, peaked out, and then was gone. Took a while to coax her over. A year later she found a home inside.

I have an orange tiger feral I named OJ (for Orange Juice) and I have another orange tiger feral that I named "Ginger". I know, bad name, but that was the first name that came to me. Poor guy. Another person named theirs Redford. I thought that was a great name. You will come up with a good name.

Try to see how he looks, he could be someone's cat. Some ferals can look really good. Shiny coat, good shape. Mouse is actually a great diet for cats. So it can be hard to know. Not all are scraggly. And if you can see if he is intact that will tell us something.

Exciting.

 

[rummytheragdoll]

I struggle with this same thing as well!! My wife and I were pretty good about play time with our cat when he was just a kitten, now that he has gotten a little older we struggle to play with him, especially after we come back from work. We can almost see the look of disappointment in his face every day, it's heart breaking. We are trying to get better about it to keep him more active and happy. I'm currently looking into getting one of these cat condo things you hang on the back of a door that I saw on catsnirvana. The laser pointers, feathers and everything has kind of lost its luster it seems. Our cat loves to play hide and seek with us, so I think this will be a fun thing to get him more engaged and excited.

 

[Animal Freak]

I struggle with this same thing as well!! My wife and I were pretty good about play time with our cat when he was just a kitten, now that he has gotten a little older we struggle to play with him, especially after we come back from work. We can almost see the look of disappointment in his face every day, it's heart breaking. We are trying to get better about it to keep him more active and happy. I'm currently looking into getting one of these cat condo things you hang on the back of a door that I saw on catsnirvana. The laser pointers, feathers and everything has kind of lost its luster it seems. Our cat loves to play hide and seek with us, so I think this will be a fun thing to get him more engaged and excited.

That is really neat. I think I've seen one of those before. My cats would probably enjoy it, but I don't know where I would put one. The majority of our doors stay open so they would move when a cat jumped in it.

As far as play goes, it can be really difficult to get into a routine. However, it's been a lot easier now that I've gotten into one. Sometimes I get home late and don't get all the play sessions in (there's quite a few with a hyper dog and three cats that refuse to play with the same thing and one of whom is overweight), but some is better than none. Even if it's only fifteen minutes. In reality, my cats rarely--if ever--play for even fifteen minutes straight. Normally it's closer to five minutes and then a break and then another few minutes and repeats.

We've gone through a lot of different toys trying to maintain interest. I think their favorite toy so far is a broken one. Cats are odd. You can spend tons of money on them and they have no interest, but give them a cardboard box or a string and they'll have a blast. We really probably spend way too much money on them.

 

[Animal Freak]

I don't think it's really a matter of doing wrong. Dogs are dogs just as cats are cats. You can't really decide who they become, but you can help them through some of the rough patches and live a peaceful life with minimal stress. It's just like with Ember. I can't change the fact that she's a skittish cat, but I can help her feel secure enough that she doesn't need to be so skittish. In the end, she'll always be a nervous and jumpy cat, but it won't be so obvious and it won't ruin her life as long as I stay on top of it.

Well, I think my first concern is going to be our little feral since he's in worse conditions. If I did ask about the shelter's feral, it would probably have to be right after I visit anyway. I can't see him going anywhere any time soon, but I wouldn't want to bother them about a cat who isn't even there. They don't have him on their site since he isn't adoptable and, even if they did, it's not always updated.

I've never really been around actual ferals so, of course, I know rather little. However, I have had plenty of domesticated cats. Ember is the first with feral ancestry (that I'm aware of) and she's far jumpier than any other cat I've had. I'm not sure I can bring myself to believe that that's just a coincidence. I think it makes sense for them to have differences between sexes. It's kind of like people too. The females take care of the children so they have to worry and care for them. The males don't have those concerns. It is interesting to see the differences between genders, backgrounds, etc.

I always have to tell my mom we got lucky because, compared to many other people, our cats are actually very well behaved. They don't do anything I wouldn't expect them to other than maybe eating plastic, but that's not entirely uncommon either. They definitely get on the counters at night and when we're going. I at least appreciate the fact that they're smart enough to do it when we're not around. It's actually a bit insulting when they decide to do it right in front of me. Fortunately, none of them have figured out how to get into cabinets. In our trailer, Frost would paw at the lower cabinets that could be reached from the ground. For some reason, he always wanted to crawl around in there despite the fact that it was always full of cans and whatnot. And they weren't separate cabinets. It was just one large space so it wasn't easy getting him out when he got in.

It honestly could be my fault. I have been a bit overwhelmed lately though it's gotten better the past couple of days. I always want to reassure her when she gets scared, but she wants nothing to do with me when she's in one of those modes. All I'm good for is helping her scan the place by carrying her around and even then she has to look on her own too. I'll probably have to start focusing on her confidence again. It had gotten so much better that I wasn't as worried about it. Of course, I'm still playing with her and whatnot, but my focus shifted to her weight rather than her confidence levels.

Yeah, he did seem a bit calm. He seemed about as interested in studying us as I was him. I'm not sure if he was intrigued by Stella, me, or if he somehow relates humans to food. It's possible he is being or has been fed before. However, he showed no interest in getting any closer to me. I definitely didn't expect him to be strolling down the sidewalk though. I thought if I saw him it would be around the corner of a house or something; not walking towards us out in the open. He did kind of match the sidewalk though. A bit brighter; not so dingy. I honestly thought he was a small dog at first because of how calmly he was walking around and sniffing. I didn't get the chance to go out and see if he was around today. I want to see if he has a schedule or if he's only going to be here every now and then. But today I had to get my allergy shots and didn't get home until after five. Then I had stuff to do. It gets dark too early to be outside anyway.

Redford is cute. I was thinking about calling him Jax. For some reason it seems to fit. I have no clue why. I was reading a story (on this site) about someone taking in a feral kitten who named their cat Jackson; Jax for short. I've heard of it before, but it hadn't crossed my mind until reading that.

I'll pay attention to his condition. I didn't get a very good look at him when I saw him. I didn't see any signs of injuries or anything though. From what I saw, he seemed fairly healthy. I watched him trot around the corner of a house, but he was across the road and moving away from me. He didn't look terribly thin, but I wouldn't say he looked well-fed either. As of right now, I'm assuming he's at least semi-feral or been a stray for the majority of his life. He seems used to being around people, but not actually interacting with them. Like, he wasn't exactly jumpy, but not friendly either. He definitely wasn't about to come running up to me for attention. Hopefully I'll catch him when I don't have the dog though. That could affect how he acts.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Well said.

Totally understand. Just something to keep in the back of your mind. The generosity and kindness among feral lovers is extraordinary in my experience.

I think you are right.

Your cats are very well behaved, I agree. I feel lucky as well since mine are great (other than their naughty moments). Cats love to get into places they shouldn't. They love to go into small places. They just seem to like those enclosed places. Hideaways are popular for cats. Same basic concept.

I don't think it is your fault. It just happens. You are aware and you have the knowledge and the desire. You will get through it.

My ferals will walk down the sidewalk etc. Mine have had a lot of socialization. They too like to observe but at a distance but more in the open and not in bushes etc where very feral cats tend to be. It is hard to know but it seems like your feral has some interaction. He isn't too feral. I wonder if someone is feeding him. But it is hard to know without me seeing. Ferals do tend to have a routine, certain routes on certain times. So I would kind of look around at similar times.

Jax is a good name. I like that.

That is good to know. It sounds like he probably is doing well. Cats are resourceful. It will be interesting to know more about the situation and him. I worry most about females and getting them spayed. Males are important for a lot of reasons and I always want to neuter males but if we don't or can't get him it is not eh end of the world. We'll figure it out at least it sounds like he is doing ok so far.

 

[Animal Freak]

I will. The shelter feral is probably better off than I think. I tend to immediately go to worst case scenarios. I'm not sure if they have any rules against refusing to take an animal in, but it seems like they should be able to in cases such as that if they don't think they can help the feral.

That they do. They always want in my closet when I open the door and then I have to dig them out when I need to shut the door. One day Ember got in and I actually heard her purring! It was a very loud purr and I felt bad so I just left her. She came out to see what I was up to though.

Yeah. He seemed like he was used to people being around. I went for a walk at 4:30 which I think is around the same time I saw him, but I didn't see any signs of him being around. I'll trying a little earlier one day, but I'm pretty sure it was around then. It's not like we've really seen him consistently though. Maybe he spends more time somewhere else and only comes around here every few days. Part of the reason I want to figure out his routine is so I can bring my camera out and get some pictures of him. I can get some close up pictures without getting too close to him that way and we can get a better idea of his condition. It doesn't seem like he's going to stick around without being fed though so I'm thinking about getting some food for him. I can't really afford any high quality food, but it seems likely he's probably hunting and getting nutrients that way. At least I could get a little more weight on him and it'll give him a reason to stick around. It might make trapping him a little easier too.

I think Jax is sticking. It didn't take long for me to start thinking of him as that.

Yeah, I understand that females are important, but I'm not even positive there are other ferals around. I would think that if there's one there's more, but I haven't seen them yet. Either way, it'll be one less cat to worry about. I don't want him spraying if he does settle down here either so that's a big reason we want to get it done.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I think that in the short term this is a good chance for him. Hopefully they can socialize him or find someone to foster. If not, then after a certain time (how long I don't really know) then I guess they have to return him. It is tricky. I am sure they know and want what is best.

Yep, exactly. They just love that and YES the loud purr!!

I feed and I have a feral that comes around once in a while (I guess it depends on his hunting success). And they can be there and gone fairly quickly. So it depends. When you trap you want them really hungry and have some stinky food (the person that helps will know). But since you are looking for a specific cat then you may want to try to attract him so he comes fairly often (so as the trapper doesn't go home empty numerous days). If you get someone they will help you. And you can always ask me what is best.

I like that name Jax.

Absolutely. I agree it is best to neuter if possible. I am guessing there are other ferals, but they are more stealthy. Jax could be someone's cat too. When you see him more you will probably get more info and we should be able to tell if it is someone's. If he is intact then I am sure there is a female around or a food source. They tend to like both.

 

[Animal Freak]

I hope so. I'll try to see if I notice any changes in him during my trips and maybe I can get a little more information. Of course, it'll probably take a while, but it's not as if I get to go all that often anyway. At least I can be assured that he's safe. They are a no kill shelter and they do seem to keep everyone healthy.

I had a special moment with Ash today. He was meowing pathetically (even more so than usual) and came into my room when I was about to get up. So I talked to him a little bit and he jumped up in bed with me. Then he put his front paws on me--which is a pretty big deal in itself-- and kneaded my stomach before walking across me. This alone was impressive, although painful, because he tends to prefer as little contact as possible while getting petted and avoids walking across people at all costs. It didn't end there though. He went to my other side, shifted around, and then all of sudden flopped down and laid his head on my chest. His poor little cold ear was pressed up against my nose. And he was purring so loudly. I don't think I've heard a cat purr as loud as he did. He didn't hold still long though. His head went from my chest to by my side to on my stomach. After a few minutes, his purring calmed, but it was still special. I ended up laying in bed for probably close to a half hour like. It's kind of ironic though. We always said he was going to be a crabby old man, but he just seems to get sweeter and sweeter whereas Frost--sweet, loving Frost--has some attitude problems.

No sign of Jax again. I went out at 4:15 and was out pretty much the entire time up until 4:40 or so. The first ten minutes or so I was alone and then I took the dog for a walk. I went back out shortly after five, but it was quite dark by then and I didn't go far. I'm considering just sitting out on the porch for a while if I have the time tomorrow. I almost miss him even though I've only seen him from a distance once. I don't like not knowing what he's doing or if he's okay. However, I'm thinking it's his scent that gets the dog acting up on our walks. I had figured someone was walking their dog, but I always thought it was a bit odd that I had never seen anyone and it wasn't consistent. It would happen every once in a while though I feel like it's been increasing as of lately. Of course, if that's true then that means Jax isn't coming by every day.

If I do start feeding him(which I probably am), then how do you think I should go about it? Should I keep a bag of food on me until I see him? What if I don't see him by my house? I don't want to feed him in front of someone else's. I also kind of wonder if it's worth it if he's not actually spending that much time around here. I'll still get him neutered, but I just don't feel this is a safe place. There's dogs at basically every other house. Most are in fenced in yards, but I know at least one has gotten out multiple times and one isn't kept on a chain or fenced in. The one that's loose constantly is very friendly and rather calm. He has quite a bit of gray on his muzzle and I'm not sure if he even can move very quickly. He also seems to be trained to stay by the house. He's come up to Stella and me on a walk and just wanted to sniff her, and he came up to me when I was on my own today, but he stops at a certain point. I don't know how he'd react to a cat though. There have been two other occasions that a dog (tried) running up to us, but it was only once for two different dogs. I was intending on feeding Jax because he's been spotted multiple times so it's obvious he's staying in the area, but if he's not actually here much then it might be for the best. But then, he does come around here and has been doing so fine, so maybe it is worth it?

I don't know, but if I go through with it, then feel free to mention any brands you recommend. I can't afford much, but if there's a decent quality food that's still cheap then I'm more than happy to do what I can. Wet cat food might be a bit more a treat since they just don't last long enough.

I figured it would be easier to trap him if he was already used to eating here. That was another reason I wanted to start feeding him. I'm not especially worried about him being the first cat we trap though. My mom and I are both big believers in TNR and I already told her the chances of him being the first one caught are fairly slim. I think we have better chances than most, though, since he's the only one we've seen which means there might not be many and, even if there are, he's probably a little more trusting since he's the only one who lets himself be seen. If we can get it done for free, it's not a big deal either way.

However, we did contact Alley Cat Allies. Well, my mom did. Basically, it went to a recording that said we could go to their site to learn how to do TNR ourselves and, if we couldn't afford it, then we could try to get our community to help. It said if we needed further help finding a low cost clinic, etc. to go to their Feral Friends Network. It's kind of odd since I got the number off of their site and it basically told us to go back to their site. I was thinking about calling myself to see if there might have been something she missed or contact the organization I found that didn't have any information on prices.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Sounds good. Great to hear it is a no kill.

WOW, that is great!! That really is special. The fact he was purring that loud tells me he was LOVING life and that moment. REALLY special.

With ferals it can be tricky because some don't always come around. I have ferals that come around once in a while for food. Food. What feral doesn't want good food every day???? But even then they don't come around every day. So it is not uncommon if you don't see them every day. And times can change. Just keep looking. He could be someone's cat as well where he isn't let out every day or at the same time etc.

Make sure you check to see if you municipality has laws or ordinances against feeding. I don't want you to run afoul of any laws. Also, check if you have Homeowners Association laws or rules. Also, make sure you don't upset your neighbors as some neighbors do not like feeding animals (ferals, squirrels, etc) for a number of reasons. I know it is a shame we have to think about this stuff but it is very important. I do not want you to be fined or in trouble in any way.

We also never want to feed on anyone else's property. We also want to try to find out if the cat is owned by someone.

So if you can get comfortable with the laws etc and are complying with all ordinances etc then if you feel that he would be safe eating at your place then I would put out food around the time you think he would come around but only if you have seen him in your yard or you see him and can coax him over (again if there is no dog threat). Now, we don't want to attract a dog (many love cat food) and we don't want to attract any other animals (raccoons, rats, etc). So you have to be careful and be willing to keep an eye out and remove the food at some point. Some dogs are nice but they can be very dangerous to cats. Cats are smart but we don't want to put them in a dangerous situation. Especially dogs that are loose. We also don't want to attract any unwanted animals for a variety of reasons. We also want to feed in a more private (but safe place) so as not to upset any people unaware that are walking by the house. It is a bit tricky so let's discuss more before you do anything. Check out the laws and ordinances first especially. If he looks good then he probably is eating pretty well and doesn't really need to be fed other than to get trapped to be neutered.

We could look around on the site for good inexpensive food. I feed wet and dry food. I tend to use wet for new ferals to attract them but I tend to get close to them and lure them etc. It takes some experience to do that. The scent is also stronger so it can attract them easier. Mouse is actually a great diet for cats, actually better than many foods I believe though I am not an expert on nutrition.

Well, it is easier I think because he then is accustomed to coming around and he has some trust with that area. But it is not necessary as I have gone into areas where feeding wasn't being done and trapped. So...............

Just email Alley Cat Allies. The Feral Friends Network is exactly the right place to find someone with experience and the willingness to help. Hopefully someone is in your area. The website has a lot of resources and is very helpful. It has a lot of great advice and information. Much better than I have given you here.

Please let me know what you find out.

 

[Animal Freak]

It was a great experience. I enjoyed every moment of it. Today I snuggled with Ember before getting up. And later on I was sitting on the couch with Stella and Frost laying on me.

I'll keep an eye out for him, but with the weekend ending, I won't be able to be able to go out multiple times. It'll just have to be when I take the dog out for a walk or I might be able to go out a few minutes once or twice as well, but I don't want my four losing their time.

I looked into laws. I couldn't find much though. There was almost nothing about ferals in what I read except that feral caretakers are not considered "owners" as long as they're participating in a TNR program and ferals are exempt from a couple of sections. That's my state, but I haven't found anything more specific yet. I totally forget until my mom mentioned it, but when we were looking at houses, we saw one that had a bunch of cats in the backyard, staring at the door. So I guess that answers the questions about strays/ferals being in the town though I'm not sure how many are in this area of it. And we wouldn't be the first ones to feed them. Reading the laws was kind of depressing though. They make it sound like animals are nothing but toys to play with and confine. There is a cop that lives a few houses down, but this is also the house that the dog is always loose.

If I could lure him in our yard, I could feed him under the porch or even in the backyard and just make sure the dog isn't let out until he's done. No one would even see him in the backyard. I know there are people who dislike ferals, but I really don't understand why. We might get less traffic at the bird feeder, but we don't get much anyway. The cop and his dog are my only real concerns. I don't know if the dog is a danger or not. He seems very calm and well-behaved, but that could change when facing a cat. He's not outside much though (I don't even see him every day) so it's avoidable if I can get Jax on a schedule around the dog's. I haven't seen him in a few days though so I've no idea if I'll even be able to get him on a schedule at all or if he's even actually feral. I hope he has somewhere warm to sleep. It's supposed to get cold this week.

I could give him some wet, but I'd have to make it last a while. I would imagine that he gets a lot more nutrition from hunting than just about anything I could give him. I'm not expert either, but it is the natural diet of cats.

I think I'm going to wait until I can see if he has any sort of schedule or anything. That way I can get a little more information before I start bothering them for help trapping him. I figure that'll be a bit more efficient than setting a trap out and hoping he comes around and not an opossum or another animal.

 

[calicosrspecial]

AWESOME!! VERY special. You must be doing a great job.

Sounds good. Yes, the inside cats come first. Just when you can.

That is good. I would ask around a bit. Because there can be an ordinance (and big fine) for feeding. Just be careful. I know, it is depressing. It seems like your community or state is pretty TNR friendly. I would call your local Humane Society and ask as well. Just keep asking and looking in to it to make sure you are protected and not liable. Interesting that the cop has a loose dog..............

Some people are just strange when it comes to ferals. I have one here that I have tried to educate etc. To no avail. I understand some of the concerns but TNR in my eyes is the only solution. This woman was trapping and taking to animal control were they were killed and not only is it inhumane in my eyes it didn't solve the problem. TNR did.

You are definitely coming up with good ideas. Just check out the laws and look at the Alley Cat Allies site for some great advice. I just don't want you to get in trouble with the authorities.

Mouse is a great diet. As long as he looks good and isn't starving then we can't go slower. And when we do trap it may be a bit easier since he will be really intrigued.

I would look into if there is someone in your area. Just to see if that is an option. Don't have to contact them. Then see the schedule and look into the next step. It is always best to have as much knowledge so when or if the time comes you and the TNR person will have a high probability of success.