Struggling With Play Time

[Animal Freak]

I'm finally home! It's been too long (two days)! My mom said they were getting along and there was no hissing, but it was almost immediately after that that I heard Frost hiss and she didn't hear it. So who knows? No fights or anything though. Everything seems fine other than that one hiss though. I'm happy to be back with them.

I, personally, do actually feel a bit calmer. As much as I didn't like it, being away is probably a good thing every now and then. It's a bit of a break from all the responsibilities and wondering if everything is okay. All the problems are still there, but they're not right in front of my face. Then I come back and I appreciate them even more!

I didn't really think of it at first. I mean, I knew a lot of our issues happened after, but her insecurities were a lot of our issues. However, thinking back on it, adding a cat did add a bit of tension to the household. Obviously, she's not going anywhere. I'll just have to work hard to keep the tension at bay! I have to say though, with how much trouble I've had with three, I'm impressed you can handle five. Hopefully I'll be able to get to the point that I can do so as well. Not that I strive to have five cats, but, let's face it, I probably will. Especially because I always feel bad for the older animals that get dropped off at shelters. I'd like to make sure they have somewhere to live out the rest of their lives though it would probably be best to find them a quiet, peaceful place if possible.

Lol. It is true though, isn't it? If they knew they could simply talk our ears off to get what they wanted, they would totally do it. Especially Ember! I love that she talks to me so much, but if she used actual words I'd never hear the end of it. Stella too. She'd be one of those really fast talkers that you can't understand because she doesn't even pause to breathe. Of course, not everyone is the same. I could see Ash being one of the ones that tries to keep everything to himself. He can come off as a brooding teenager at times.

I'll have to implement the daily training session tomorrow (here's hoping I'll actually remember) because I got home kind of late today. I did give Frost two playing sessions though. The first was a ten minute one and I may or may not keep it that way at least at first. He seemed to enjoy it, but it was slightly harder to keep his attention the second play session. We'll keep it up and see if it gets easier for him.

Ash isn't playing a whole lot, but he is jumping for the toy so that's good. He was being a bit mean to Ember while she was playing with the laser light. He seems to have decided that he likes to sit in the way during her play time so she has to run by him to chase the light and he refuses to move even though he doesn't like her running past like that. Then he ends up slapping at her, albeit not very hard. She doesn't do anything though it might make her slightly hesitant to run past him the next time around. However, today he actually ended up hissing at her. She stopped and stared at him, but she surprisingly didn't attack. I'm not sure I could even blame her if she did considering it wasn't necessary for him to do that at all and it was actually directed towards her. But it is a huge step and a massive sign that her confidence had improved a great deal. There was a time that she'd come barreling in from a different room if he hissed or growled so she could attack him. That they were standing maybe a foot or less away from each other and it was so obviously directed at her and she didn't attack is amazing. He walked a few feet away and she went up to sniff him, but that was the end of it after the initial few moments of staring before I was able to get over to them. I gave Ember some attention to reassure her that she was okay and gave Ash a pat after he walked back over. After that, he sat slightly less out of the way but still where he'd feel the need to slap her. A couple of times she actually hit him back, but I let it go and nothing came of it. I was happy she was standing up for herself, but not starting a full out fight.

They're definitely my best friends. Even if they don't want to be, they are. I'll spend the rest of their lives trying to make sure they're happy and, once they're gone, I'll do the same for another animal that needs it.

I'm not a very social person and getting and keeping friends has always been a bit of struggle for me. I can't say I'm entirely blame free. I've always been -- even as a young child -- more of an animal person. I used to get along better with people than I do now, but animals were my preference. And, for as many people that do love and respect animals, it still seems to be the minority. That's probably one of my biggest issues. I'm pretty open minded when it comes to most things, but I refuse to associate myself with people who don't respect animal rights at least to some extent. I don't ask that people go to the same level I do, but to respect that animals have the right to live. Not many people meet that requirement though. I also just don't have the motivation. I prefer sitting at home with my animals or going to the shelter to hang out with the cats there. I don't put much effort into any relationships with people. I don't text or call unless I need to and I don't really make plans. So it's not as if I can say I don't play a part in my lack of friends. It's just that I don't rely on those relationships enough to lower my standards. I've also always been a bit of a ghost. It's one of the things I really like about this site. Both in real life and online, I have a tendency to be ignored. For the most part, this doesn't bother me, but it can get a bit frustrating at times, especially when I'm looking for help. But on here, I found a fantastic community that doesn't seem to skip over everything I post.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I know the feeling being away. Sometimes it does feel so long. It is great that there was no fighting. I am sure I don't hear all the encounters either but how they believe tells us a lot. The fact your are being good tells me things are fine.

That is great that they break helped. It does usually. Just as you said to get a break and get perspective. It really is true, when I come back I really do appreciate them more.

Yeah, it is amazing how adding 1 cat can disrupt things. That is why I always stress doing the proper introduction process. The resident cats usually have the most difficult time adjusting. But it can be anyone. For the resident cats it is a new perceived potential threat in "their" territory. For the new cat this is new territory they don't own with potential threats of these other cats. And it depends on their history, how they interacted before their new home etc. I take in ferals so they tend to have learned to coexist with other threat already. But they get soft after being in the house for a while. It is tricky. I know what you mean, given our propensity to want to save cats we want to help but it is important to try to balance and not take on too much. It really is tricky.

It is funny, I have two talkers. And one that is more reserved. And two that are in between. The personalities are diverse but great. My boy is a bit like Ash. He can be a bit moody. He takes a little work with me. He actually was something. He and his sister were together. I trapped the sister, he depended on her. He stayed around wondering if he should stay or flee. He stayed and I trapped him. I took them in and they live here happily now.

That is great that Frost played. Sometimes it is tough to keep their attention but just do your best.

I like that Ash was jumping. Just keep trying to play with him. I think that was a really good interaction between Ash and Ember. They communicated and worked through it. Ash was being like a school boy that dips the pigtails in the ink well. A bit naughty but not too bad. They could have gotten into it but they worked through it. That is good. It sounds like they both were pretty confident. Standing up for themselves. And a confident cat is less likely to attack of be attacked. A level of respect towards each other that results in peace (even though some words might be said).

I think they have a lot of love for you. And they appreciate all you do for them. I have no doubt you will take good care of them.

It is interesting because you seem so social. You are smart, kind, respectful. I hear you when you say it is hard to be friends with people that don't share your values. It is impossible for me to respect someone that doesn't respect animals or people. I think choosing one's friends is really important. Why waste time on someone not deserving? But there are a lot of great people out there as well. I think a lot of people would benefit from your friendship. But they have to be worthy. I am glad you don't lower your standards.

You have a lot of great things to share. If someone doesn't acknowledge it they are missing out sadly. I think you are a really great person, I hope you have the same opinion as I do. You have a lot of positive qualities.

I totally agree, this site is awesome. A lot of great people on here that want to help for no other reason to make the world a better place!!

 

[Animal Freak]

It really does feel like too long... And my dad wants me to go on vacation with his side of the family for a week! I already said it probably wasn't going to happen since the last time we did that, it was very stressful. I ended up sick too. And, as it is right now, I don't think I could leave the animals. Not for that long.

Yeah, the occasional break is probably for the best. When I'm away too long though, I actually start missing all the chores. I don't really do well not having anything to do even if that thing is cleaning out litter boxes. I get set in my routines and I don't like them being messed with.

It is! It's another one of those times that it would be really great if we could communicate with them and reassure that the other cat isn't there to hurt them. It can be hard judging when it's time to give up too. Fortunately, I didn't have that problem introducing Ember since the boys were pretty laid back and just kept their distance, but there were times with Stella that I had to wonder. Even still today, I question whether that if that years worth of stress was worth putting them through when they really gain nothing from having her here and the relationship between them is still a bit strained. Of course, I love Stella, but the cats were here first and, what with them being older (at least the boys are) as well as a bit more stand offish, it would be easier to rehome her anyway. She at least loves people. But here she is and here she'll stay.

I have to be honest though, I wasn't really aware of the proper introductions before joining this site. I don't know why the thought didn't cross my mind to look into it before, but I suppose adding a third cat wasn't exactly planned. Of course, we ended up following the introductions partly anyway just because Midnight (Ember's mother) would attack the boys and had to be kept separate.

I understand we all have to have our limits too, even if it is difficult. That's the one thing people don't seem to realize about me. It's like all animal lovers are going to be hoarders. They don't understand that it's not just loving them, but respecting and understanding them too. I know that if I have too many, I'll no longer being helping them, but hurting them instead. So, while it is difficult to turn away, I am aware that sometimes it's necessary. Let someone else have the chance to give them a good life.

It is interesting to think about how they're all so different. Ash is fairly quiet most of the time, but if he wants something then he'll let you know. Even though he's usually calm and almost antisocial as well as a bit lazy, he's the one that goes crazy in the middle of the night and yowls as loud as possible randomly throughout the day and the night. Frost has a softer, kind of kitten-like meow that he uses when he thinks he's getting food/treats or if he's being brushed/petted a certain way. He also has a shorter, clipped meow that he'll repeat two or three times that seems to be a bit of a protest. Ember is a bit odd. For some reason, I always think of her as a quiet cat, but she's not. When I think about it, she probably talks the most of them. It's just rather quiet and kind of broken sounding. Like her voice gives out half way through. She also does a lot of these little sounds that are a bit like a short, loud purr. They're hard to explain. That's probably her favorite way of communicating with me.

Yes, Frost played again today and Ash played even more than he did yesterday. Lots of jumping for it from the both of them.

I didn't think the interaction was all that bad. I don't understand why Ash has decided he has to sit in the way all of a sudden, but they do mostly work through it. Today he did it and I shooed him away because she was getting a bit hesitant to run by him and I didn't want it affecting her play time.

Well, it is a bit easier online. And we've been talking for so long now that I'm fairly comfortable. Of course, I'll always have self-doubt, but I can get through some of it online and the longer I talk with someone, the better I get. Though I'm always willing to talk about animals! It's one of the few values I have that I can't tolerate any other opinions on. Otherwise, I'm pretty much open to different beliefs and thoughts. Hopefully, someday I'll find one of those great people. Right now, I don't think there's a place I really fit in in my small town, but I'll find it. I'm not in a hurry. I do have my animals after all.

Thank you. What you say means a lot, really. I could always use a confidence boost since there isn't much there. I don't think I'm perfect by any means and there's a lot of things I could probably be better about, but what means the most to me is that I have the ability to help animals and that's what I want to do.

This site really is wonderful. I do believe it's helped me a lot with my anxiety. I've pushed myself to post on here through both my own threads and through other people's. It's when I run into rude, ignorant people that immediately criticize everything that I tend to dread saying anything, but I have yet to come across anyone like that here. They really do just want to help and that's helped me be able to push myself out of my comfort zone a bit.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Well, I know you will do what is best. I had to be away for a longer time and I know what you mean. It is hard.

I know the feeling. It really is a daily routine. Having some structure is good and having things to do and accomplishing things is also good in a lot of ways. Routines are also very good for the cats.

I know but I wonder if words can solve things. They don't always with people. I think actions are actually more powerful. But words can help direct us to the cause or source. Especially medical issues but also behavioral (since we are not always around to observe).

I think you put it in a terrific way about the number of animals and limits. I think a lot of us what to save everyone. Some try. Then hopefully we objectively assess the situation and make the difficult choices and understand what is best. Your paragraph of this is really excellent. You understand the risks and what is best in a very thorough way. I think w always have to be realistic and practical and figure out what is best for everyone. It is hard and I go through it often but I think you have a great grasp on the situation and the challenges etc. I do not worry that you will not do what is best for all the animals.

I take care of ferals as well as the indoor cats. A number of my ferals have left or gone missing etc. It is VERY HARD to deal with. Not knowing how their life is, if they are still alive, etc. I tried to find homes but it is nearly impossible. I wonder if I should have taken some in but I am maxed out. But the internal battle is very hard. But we have to do our best for everyone involved. But is is hard.

They really are unique, aren't they? Each have their own personalities even when they come from the same mom. It is really cute how you describe them. They are such good cats. I have one inside (and 1 feral outside) that give my hand a head butt before eating the treat or chicken from me. The others don't. Their communication (like yours) different. Some louder, some quieter, some more often, etc. It is really cool.

GREAT that Ash and Frost both played!! I love to hear that.

I agree the interaction wasn't that bad. Sometimes cats do things like that. It is times like these it would be nice if they could tell us. Some probably do it to be "the boss" and show their power. Some to instigate play. Etc. But we never really know. When you do "shoo him away" just try to make it as positive as possible. Which I am sure you do.

We all have self doubt about things. And anyone who says they don't actually probably have more self doubt than others. No one is perfect. You are who you are so you should just be yourself whether online or in person. You should be proud of yourself. If someone doesn't "get you" then they aren't worthy. You are obviously intelligent, kind, thoughtful, sincere. People WISH they had friends like that. Just be yourself. Not everyone is worthy of being your friend but whoever is will be lucky. Knowing what I know about you I think you have a place anywhere you like, big town, small town. Great people are rare in this world. There are a lot of people that would really enjoy your friendship, just make sure they are worthy of it. Not everyone is.

You are welcome. Everyone always needs a confidence boost every once in a while. Everything I write I write because I believe it. I only tell the truth. Often times the most confident looking people are not the most confident. Braggarts typically have the greatest insecurities. Humility is a sign of understanding, wisdom. It is a great trait. I mentioned some traits of yours before. I should add humility. Humility is a great trait that will lead you far in life. People like people like that. And you have the intelligence, the kindness, the work ethic, etc that are great traits. Knowing our weaknesses allows us to better ourselves. That is a positive trait. To try to be a better person. You have the ability to make animals lives better and you have the ability to do much more in life if you are willing to put the effort in. I hope you can take a step back and see all your great qualities. I can see them, I hope you can.

I agree the site is wonderful. That is wonderful that it has helped you with your anxiety.

I think sometimes you are too critical of yourself. Too hard on yourself. I love that you look at yourself and see how you can do better etc but I would love to see you balance it. You said how some "rude, arrogant people immediately criticize everything" on other sites. Having the balance to recognize when they (the rude arrogant people) are the problem is important. So it is not always you at fault, it can be the other people. People in this world have issues and often take it out on others rather than fixing it themselves. And people feel emboldened being nasty online. It is easier to criticize others than improve themselves as people. You are not like them. It is because you are a great person that you look at yourself, at ways to improve etc. So you should never feel afraid to post something. Always be open to constructive criticism because no one knows everything and always remain humble but don't let people with problems get to you. I hope I kind of explained it well. The key is to think things through when posting, give the best post you can, and then be open to where you are right or wrong. And keep learning. Which is how I view you. You are obviously intelligent and you have really good critical thinking and an openness and desire to continue learning and getting better. Those are terrific traits that once again will lead to success in whatever you choose to do in the future.

I hope you don't mind what I wrote. I just want you to see how another person sees you. You should be very proud of the person you are.

 

[Animal Freak]

Of course words can't fix everything. Sometimes they cause problems. But at least we'd know when they're sick or hurt or we could let them know that there isn't any danger. I believe speaking is an action. If you lie, then that is a testimony to who you are just as much as any action may be. Words can be powerful weapons. How you use them says a lot. Either way, it would still be nice to not have to guess what might be wrong though that's not to say I don't enjoy the way cats communicate. I love their meows and purrs and chirps and whatnot.

I will always try my best to do what I can for animals. Even if that's letting them go then it's just another part of loving them. I kind of have to know that I have a limit too. Otherwise I would be a hoarder. But I've done well so far. I've been the shelter a lot and there's only been three cats I've wanted to take home. One is still at the shelter, sadly, and I'm not sure why. I haven't tried to bring her home yet even though it's tempted. I'm still waiting for the day she gets adopted, but I'll be sad to see her go too.

They are. All of them are so different in so many ways. From their looks to their behavior to their sounds, there's not two that are the same. I think the problem with many people (especially people who hate cats, but also some who think they love them) is that they think they're all the same. Cat haters believe they're selfish, independent jerks, which some may be, but definitely not all. Even some who do love cats, though, love them because they're supposed to be low maintenance and quiet and overall easy to care for while it's probably the opposite more often than not.

No one wanted to play today! Well, no one but Stella. I remembered all the separate play sessions, plus the training session. They all enjoyed the training. Ash didn't play at all. Ember would only play for about five minutes or so at a time. Frost went after the toy a couple of times, but he kept flopping down and I'd have to nudge him up to get him to do anything which only worked a couple of times before he ran off. I'm hoping it's just a one time thing, but it's always weird how they all decide they don't want to play on the same day.

There were some issues while I was preparing their meals which I'm wondering if it has something to do with the lack of play. Ember all of a sudden hissed at Ash. It was a very loud, airy, dramatic hiss and I've no idea why she did it. He was right by me and she had walked by, then turned around and hissed. I petted Ash and tried to pet her as she sniffed him. All was okay for a minute or two. Then she slapped at him and she did that a couple of time. Overall, it didn't end in anything huge, but it was the worst incident we've had yet and mostly just because she kept lashing out. One moment she was fine, walking right by him, then she'd slap him, but she'd be perfectly fine immediately after again. Of course, I think he was a bit tense after being hissed at so that could have played a part. I'm not freaking out like I used to when there were issues, but I do get a bit tense. It's not really a tension as in I'm afraid of what might happen, but that I'm ready to intervene. Like I'm preparing to run after them if I have to.

I would like to be more confident. I'm just not entirely sure how to go about it. I'm trying to not get put on pills for every problem I have, but it can be hard to try to force myself to do things. It's almost ironic that I managed to boost Ember's confidence, but can't boost my own. Being myself can be tricky, but apparently I've improved some over the past few years. At least, that's what people say. I haven't really noticed a change myself, but I can say I think I'm getting a bit better now. It's slow progress. It's hard to bring myself to speak up, but once I do I'm all right. I have more fear before doing something than when I'm actually doing it. But I'm not in a rush to find a great friend. I do have someone that's a good person and I could probably put a bigger effort into the relationship I have with her, but she's a bit... hyper. And loud. We definitely contrast in a lot of ways.

I don't mind anything of what you've said. I'm hard to offend, and everything you've said is far from offensive. In fact, you're absolutely right. I see a lot more of my negative traits and I don't think all of those have shown (we do talk mostly about cats which is hard to be negative about), but I think you've pretty much hit the nail on the head. Especially saying I'm too hard on myself. I know I am, but it's hard to change something when you've done it for so long. It's even harder when you don't know how to change it. If there was one thing I could change about myself, it would absolutely be my anxiety. It's been my biggest obstacle in life and I'm sure it will continue to be for a while. I don't say that to be pessimistic, but I say it to be realistic. No issue is going to disappear over night. I don't expect it to. But I'll continue to push myself a little bit at a time, at least until I have a better idea of what I can do.

Talking to you has been an absolute joy though. It's not often I have a conversation for such a long time and everything you've said has been helpful in one way or another. I don't know where I'd be without the advice you've given on handling the issues with my cats. Everyone on this site is wonderful, but no one has ever stuck around to continue helping like you have. I've gotten through a lot because of that and I'm sure I will continue to even when I can't come asking for help. I've definitely learned a lot and I think that has helped me become a calmer person in stressful situations.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Totally agree. It really is cute how they communicate.

I know you will. The fact you are cognizant of all the issues tells me you will make the best decisions. I admire you for helping at the shelter. I know how hard it is to see cats waiting to find a home. All you can do is help socialize them so they have a better chance.

That is great analysis. I think you are exactly right. I always accept each cat for what they are. Some are more social, some aren't. Some more loving. I honestly have never met a cat I didn't like. They are unique. I had a feral that would hiss at me every feeding time. Huge scary hiss. Then I would hand feed her her chicken and she was so gentle. Never once hurt me or tried to. Each cat is special. Sometimes people take it personally. I have always believed it is about the cats and not me.

It happens sometimes. I too have days where they all refuse to play. Other days were some wont. Etc. I never found a reason. It just happens. I have one like Frost, loves to play while laying on his back. Silly.

I get that as well. Last night my one cat went into the basket with a male. They LOVE each other. He gave a big hiss and jumped out. I was like "where did that come from?". Who knows if she stepped on him or just startled him. but they worked it out and no further incident. Sometimes a look or the body language can trigger a hiss or a slap (I have seen it many times). But as long as it passes I don't worry. It is like when a person gets snappy to a loved one. We don't mean to be nasty but sometimes we are not meaning anything by it. Just keep an eye on them and see if there is anything you can see causing it. My ferals have been fighting before I give them their dinner lately. Then they eat together. Go figure. Ember could be protecting you as well. Just letting Ash know that you are important to her.

It is interesting because you write with confidence on here. So you have the confidence. I think deep down you know you are intelligent, etc. Just trust yourself. You obviously know things, you write well (so I guess you probably speak well), your thinking is logical, you are well thought out, etc. Just be yourself and trust yourself. You are a great person and the confidence is there (I see it when I read your posts). So it is not far away. And if others think you have made progress than we can't all be wrong. You obviously have done a great job with the cats and they take on our emotions so you may not realize it but I think there are a lot of signs that your confidence is greater than you think.

A lot of us have more fear about doing than the actual action of doing. Anticipation is always the worst. For me it is the dentist. I worry and worry then I go and it isn't so bad. Or going on a first date. Everyone always worries whether they show it or not. You are no different than anyone else. I think sometimes we think we are different but in reality we really aren't. We all have fears and insecurities etc. Once we accept that it makes it easier to move forward. I KNOW you will be just fine.

Things just happen and great things tend to just happen. So just be yourself and let things happen. I too am more quiet but have a very outlandish friend. If someone asked me what my ideal friend would be like I would not have described her but it happened. Others it didn't work. I think it is good you aren't forcing anything and just letting things happen. Just keep doing what makes you happiest and what you think is best and it will all work out.

I think you are a great person. We all have negative traits, I sure do. I can be selfish at times. But as long as we try to keep improving then I think it is ok. I realize I am selfish at times and try not to be. But I still am. It remains a work in progress but the fact I am trying is good. Some things aren't as important than others. What I have found about you is that you are intelligent, you care about others (animals or people), you want to improve things, you have a great heart, you are kind, respectful, well spoken (or written). A lot of what I have seen are the most important traits. So I hope you aren't too hard on yourself going forward. The fact you are hard on yourself tells me you want what is best for others. (which is a great trait) But I think you blame yourself for things you don't have control over. So remembering to only focus on things that can be changed is a better use of energy. The fact you are aware of your anxiety and focusing on trying to improve it means you are moving forward and ahead of many others with similar problems. If there is anyone that can deal with it I know you can!! One day you are going to look back and be really impressed by what you overcame. I am really confident you can do it.

Wow, your last paragraph is so meaningful to me. I am here to improve the lives of cats but your sincerity is really wonderful to read. It makes me feel really good that maybe I did help in a small way. I wish I could give more advice in getting the cats to play or get along. You are the one that really made them improve, I gave some suggestions but you implemented them. You deserve the credit because without your effort they would not be where they are today. I am happy to help in anyway I can.

I am always here for you so feel free to post anytime. Happy to help. You really have done a great job with them. I hope you are as proud of yourself as I am of you!

 

[Animal Freak]

Ugh. Life is getting in the way. I had to go the doctor yesterday. I got stuck with needs four times, so that was lots of fun. Anyway, I'm going to try to keep this (relatively) short because I'm really tired and I'm not sure how long I'll be able to focus on this.

I wish I did more. It's hard to get to go since it's just the one car between the two of us and I go to my dad's every other weekend. My mom isn't into volunteering like I am either. We mostly go hang out with the cats for a while and I take pictures to practice my photography. We do plan on going up and actually helping out for Thanksgiving since most people will probably with celebrating and it's not as big of a deal to us.

I've learned to do so as well. I'll admit I wasn't always perfect. When I was younger, I was more naïve. It wasn't that I couldn't accept them for who they were, but I did believe they were low maintenance. The boys pretty much were, but I've definitely learned that's not always the case. I'll also admit that I do take things personally when I shouldn't. I don't hold it against them, but sometimes I feel like I must have done something wrong. I can't say I've met a cat I didn't like either. Especially once I learned how different they all are. Once I figured that out, it was hard not to love them all. It allowed me to be more open-minded.

Ember's back to playing. Ash is back and forth. Frost mostly refuses to even acknowledge the toy. He turns and walks off. I don't know why, but if it keeps up I'll probably forget about the added play session. At least until he gets back to playing. Right now it seems like I'm just wasting time. Frost definitely likes being on his back. He frequently takes naps like that.

It mostly seems peaceful. I feel like there was something I wanted to say, but I don't remember what it was. There's been rather little hissing. They've mostly gotten along. There's still some issues when I'm trying to feed them, but nothing major. My mom swears they don't do that when I'm gone and she feeds them, and that she does watch them, but I wonder about that. The signs are rather subtle. If you turn your back for even a second, something could happen and I only usually know it happened because I hear a soft thump. It would be easy to miss it.

Well, I'm definitely more comfortable with the situation as it is. I don't feel so overwhelmed. At least not by them. I would fix every problem if I could, but I have to let go of that notion. There will always be something and I'll always be working on improving whatever that something is. I think realizing that was the first to getting over some of my stress over them. Yes, I might spend the rest of my life fixing issues between animals, but I'm okay with that. It's worth it. They're worth it.

I think that, if I didn't have anxiety, then I could have a lot of confidence. There's a lot of things I want to say and do, but I always stop myself before saying or doing them. As far as speaking goes... no. Just... no. If I was half as eloquent of a speaker as I am a writer, I'd be five times better off. I know what I want to say, but when I try to say it I end up stumbling of my words. It's something else on my list of things to work on.

You're probably right. The wait seems to be the most stressful part of just about everything. Though, I have to say, I hate going to the dentist and I hate being at the dentist. It's just another one of those things that's hard to get over even after you know it exists. I do believe I'm different than other people though and I'm okay with that. I don't really want to be like most of the people I've met. We're all different in the end, but there are some common behaviors I'm okay not doing.

Yeah, I wouldn't have thought of ever being friends with the person I'm friends with either. Though, admittedly, I was reluctant in the beginning. She's a good person and she meets my standards of loving and respecting animals for the most part. I feel a bit bad that I don't put much effort into maintaining the friendship though. It's just hard to motivate myself to make plans though I enjoy the time I do spend with her.

I'm definitely selfish at times. I'm less kind to people than I am to animals though I'm not outright mean. I wouldn't wish suffering on anyone. However, helping animals is my main goal in life. That's what I intend on doing and I wouldn't have it any other way. People help people probably more than people help animals, so I want to increase the amount of people doing the latter. I am one of those people that tends to like have some sense of control (or at least someone having control so I'm definitely no leader!) and organization. When those things are gone, I get stressed. When a situation comes up, I tend to begin trying to plan every detail long before it even actually happens. So there are definitely things I need to work on to help, not just others, but myself too.

Well, it's the truth. You helped a lot, really. While I suppose it would be small in the face of the world, it wasn't a small thing to me. Your advice helped improve my cats' lives and, by doing so, improved my own. I have a lot less stress now. I might have done the work, but I never would have known without your help. I would have been lost and probably making things worse with my own stress and anxiety. I'm sure everyone else on here appreciates it too since I would have had to make more threads asking for help.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Oh my, I hope the doctor visit went well. Just rest up.

I am sure you are doing a lot. I know we always want to do more but time is a limiter. As long as we try our best. I think it is great you help out. Good for you to help out when most people are unable to. That means a lot to the cats and the other people at the shelter.

No one is perfect, I sure am not. I think it is a learning process. We all come to something with preconceived idea and then we learn. Some cats are pretty low maintenance, some higher, some even change based on the human interaction. I also look to see if I did something wrong but I try not to be too hard on myself. But to learn so I don't make the mistake again. But it is great you are cognizant of it. Just so long as you aren't hard on yourself, we all make mistakes but as long a we learn from them it isn't too bad. Each cat is amazing in their own way. I know what you mean, they are all lovable.

GREAT that Ember is playing and Ash is sort off. Frost.......... My boy likes to play on his back as well. Frost is such a character. Just do your best, that is all we can do.

I am glad to hear things are going well. My outside feral boys have been at each other right before feeding time. Impatience?? Yeah, sometimes it can be quick. I am guessing if anything serious happened your mom would know so I am guessing they are doing ok. It is possible they are not as competitive with your mom as they are with you. You and Ember have such a bond. Not your fault but maybe Ember is a bit more protective over you.

It is great you are comfortable with the situation. That paragraph is great. A great understanding. There will always be something but you can handle whatever it is. I think you are starting to believe in that more so you are more comfortable. Such a great understanding that paragraph is!!

I think you will get more confidence. You should be more confident. You are obviously intelligent. And you sure are likable in writing. If you write it you can say it. And the more confident you are the less anxious you probably will be. If there are a lot of things you want to say or do you should. I had a good friend who is a male that stuttered when we were kids. We went our separate ways and met up at a reunion years later. I heard him speak wonderfully to others. I came up to him and he stuttered to me. I know it was me. It broke my heart because it was how I made him feel not him. I know he could speak to me without stuttering. We kept in touch, after a few conversations he didn't stutter anymore. It wasn't him really it was me really. I guess what I am saying is just be yourself regardless if you are speaking to the Queen of England or an average person like me. Everyone is the same and if the person reacts differently it is their problem not yours. You are intelligent, just gather your thoughts, be calm and say or do what you want. If they act weird they have the problem, not you. I think you tell it here. If you can do it here you can do it to anyone. Trust me. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Once you don't fear the reaction you will get then you can say anything. I hope this makes some sense. I guess what I am saying is you know you can write anything here and I don't think you are afraid. So let's try to expand that. I guarantee what you say is probably well thought out and based on an intelligent line of thought. It doesn't matter if there is an accent or a speech impediment or anything. It matters in the sincerity and the thought. And the more speaking you do the better you will be at it. It may sound silly but practice with Ember or practice in a mirror. I so know you can do anything especially speaking in public. You are too intelligent and sincere no to be able to. I think you will be surprised how fast it could improve. Just trust and believe in yourself. I believe in you.

You made me laugh about the dentist. Me too. We are all different but we are also very similar. You don't seem that different to me. Your likable and intelligent and thoughtful and kind. It is important to be okay with who we are. I am glad to hear that. I am okay with who I am. Oh I know I am not perfect and have a lot of faults but I try to be as good of a person as possible. I think that is what matters. I think your point about not being ok with some common behaviors is admirable. A lot of people do things that they wouldn't because of peer pressure or feeling left out or not accepted. But people like that are followers and that can lead to bad things. Leaders do what they believe is best. People look up to leaders. I look up to or admire very few people in this world. Very few people earn my respect. From what I know of you I really respect you for a lot of reasons.

The fact you think your friend is a good person says a lot. Opposites do attract and it sounds like you do like her. I know it is hard to be motivated some times but you'll handle it well. What ever you decide to choose. Just always be honest and true and you'll be friends forever. Friendship is more than just doing things together, it is a mindset, a supporter, etc.

We are all selfish but I think you are less selfish than many. Look at all you do for animals. I actually think you are much more of a leader than you think. I just read this paragraph now after I mentioned above about leaders. You take control (look what you do with the animals). You have good ideas. Thoughts. You have leadership qualities. I leader comes up with a plan like you said you do. We all get nervous when the plan goes awry. But a leader then works through that. That is what you have been doing with the animals. I honestly think you can do most anything you put your mind to. The fact you know you need to learn tells me that you will. You are very self aware. Sometimes you are a little hard on yourself but you have high standards and high desires. It is very impressive.

Your words and appreciation mean a lot to me. Thank you. I think you would have done just fine without me. I think you are much more resourceful than you think. I honestly think you can do almost anything if you put your mind to it. Maybe you are different than others, you really are VERY impressive as a person. That is different in a really great way!!

 

[Animal Freak]

Oh, it was fine. Nothing major. I got my flu shot and we're trying to figure out why my jaw locks up sometimes, so I got some blood work done. It took a few tries to get the blood because my veins are apparently very small. It all came up fine though.

I'd there every day if I could. I really enjoy spending time with the animals even though I know I have my own to take care of. I'm excited to be able to go back. They were under quarantine for a while because ringworm was going around, so it's been a while since I've been there other than for a fundraising during which they had all the cats in cages.

My mistakes are things that I'll live with for the rest of my life. I'll be making up for them for that entire time. I would have done it even without those mistakes, but they give me even more motivation to ensure that I do right by the animals. I'll probably always assume I did something wrong when an animal lashes out at me. Well, an animal I'm at least somewhat familiar with. I understand a feral is likely to lash out. Like a cat I might at the shelter, though. I decided I was going to give him attention every time I went because he was an older, kind of raggedy cat, but calm and sweet. He would lay on my lap and purr and I thought we had an at least decent relationship. One day, I was sitting on the floor with him next to me and another cat got on my lap. He all of a sudden jerked away and lashed out, scratching me. It was minor, but I got a bit emotional over it. Not that I held it against him, but I didn't understand what happened. I still feel bad because that was the last time I saw him. Not because I avoided him, but we didn't have time and the weather was bad. The next time I went, he was gone. I'm glad he's not stuck at the shelter anymore, but I wish I was able to see him one more time.

I almost got Frost to play today. The key word in that sentence is almost. I managed to get his attention for approximately ten seconds. Then he was gone. Ash didn't play. Ember did though she stop a little early.

I'm learning. I'll probably continue to learn for a long time. I had gotten used to a peaceful household with relatively little work. I can still have a peaceful household; I just have to put a little more effort into it. That's okay. Sometimes I need to be able to step away from the situation and gather my wits, but I have to believe that I can handle it. I always figure the day I fear getting bit is the day I get bit. It's the same with most everything. The day I think I can't handle it is the day I won't be able to handle it. I've come close in the past, but I haven't given up yet. Now that I know I truly can manage, I don't intend on giving up for a long time.

I hope I do. I'm probably not going to be able to manage everything I want to do if I don't get over my anxiety which is my main motivation in getting over it. It's an obstacle I'll have to overcome before I try to help the animals. If I'm going to run a shelter, I can't be afraid constantly and doubt my every decision. I do intend on practicing my speech skills. I'm not a very social person so I supposed it isn't so odd that I can't talk very well. The difference between me speaking and me writing is quite vast. It's things I have to work on. That and being myself are two I struggle with. Not that I really change who I am, but I tend to hold back. I was talking to a baby bearded dragon in PetSmart today so that was kind of me practicing speaking and me being myself. He/she was staring at me quite intensely. Of course, I went back later and he/she was standing in the exact same position so maybe he/she just likes taking naps with his/her head tipped back.

Well, you have yet to give me a reason to think you're anything but a good person. You're definitely right about it being the effort that counts. None of us can ever be perfect, but what would we be if we didn't try? Maybe not try to be perfect in every way, but at least some. I'll admit that I don't particularly care to be the most optimistic person or the kindest towards every person I meet, but I want to do good. I want to help. I try to be open-minded and patient though I'm slacking with the latter.

Maybe I could be a leader if I didn't have anxiety, but I'm far from it with it. However, I do know when not to be a follower. I'm not going to endanger myself or others for the sake of following someone. I refuse to let go of my beliefs. Those are what I fight for. Not religious beliefs or anything, but the beliefs that animals have rights, that they deserve respect, and that they aren't inferior to humans. I can't let go of those. I don't want to. I think it's those beliefs that often keep me on the path I'm on. They're the reason I can't be a follower.

You know, I agree with you on a lot, but I think I'm going to have to disagree this time. I love my cats and I do what I need to to keep them happy, but I wouldn't have known how to do that if you hadn't helped me. Maybe I could have found the information elsewhere, but I didn't. I found it here, through you. I knew play was important, but I hadn't realized just how important it was and I don't think I could have learned that any other way. All of my issues seem to have been so much easier to handle since you offered your help.

 

[Yanaka]

I think you’re doing a great job. I didn’t read the entire post, but I can imagine that it’s hard to have cats who don’t get along. I want to say she got the aggressivity from her mother—that can totally be a factor, too, genetics. Your cat might also have more feral left in her and be super territorial, did someone mention that?

Ember reminds me of a stray my mom had squat and never leave. He’s the sweetest teddy bear but he turns crazy upset when he plays, and he goes after her other cars. There’s something that gets him a little nutty up there and he can’t seem to control his emotions very well.

 

[Animal Freak]

I think you’re doing a great job. I didn’t read the entire post, but I can imagine that it’s hard to have cats who don’t get along. I want to say she got the aggressivity from her mother—that can totally be a factor, too, genetics. Your cat might also have more feral left in her and be super territorial, did someone mention that?

Ember reminds me of a stray my mom had squat and never leave. He’s the sweetest teddy bear but he turns crazy upset when he plays, and he goes after her other cars. There’s something that gets him a little nutty up there and he can’t seem to control his emotions very well.

Thanks. They get along for the most part. Ember isn't really aggressive. She's just very insecure. She lacked confidence which is much better now. I actually thought that maybe her feral ancestry had to do with it. She's always ready for a threat and relies heavily on those fight or flight instincts. She's a good cat though. Very sweet and loving. She takes after me. She gets stressed easily. I can't change that part of her, but I can help her feel safe and confident which is what I'll do for as long as she lives.

 

[Yanaka]

Thanks. They get along for the most part. Ember isn't really aggressive. She's just very insecure. She lacked confidence which is much better now. I actually thought that maybe her feral ancestry had to do with it. She's always ready for a threat and relies heavily on those fight or flight instincts. She's a good cat though. Very sweet and loving. She takes after me. She gets stressed easily. I can't change that part of her, but I can help her feel safe and confident which is what I'll do for as long as she lives.

I have two kittens, a male and a female. They were born outside but taken in when they were around a month old, but I could definitely see the feral in the female. She was always very suspicious and independent, and although she trusts me now (but on her own terms), she's kinda "weird" that way. They carry it in them, a lot of them, depending on the mom. I can't explain the scientific side of it, but I know that e.g. breeders don't breed females with difficult tempers. I believe you when you say your kittie isn't aggressive--I think maybe the fact that she's female + they're three in the same living space + she came after the boys might be a little harder on her.

 

[Animal Freak]

I have two kittens, a male and a female. They were born outside but taken in when they were around a month old, but I could definitely see the feral in the female. She was always very suspicious and independent, and although she trusts me now (but on her own terms), she's kinda "weird" that way. They carry it in them, a lot of them, depending on the mom. I can't explain the scientific side of it, but I know that e.g. breeders don't breed females with difficult tempers. I believe you when you say your kittie isn't aggressive--I think maybe the fact that she's female + they're three in the same living space + she came after the boys might be a little harder on her.

I agree. I would have hoped that growing up with them would help since we've had her quite literally since she was born, but she's the smallest of them. Ironically, as wary of strangers and any sign of danger as she is, she's the least independent of them and the most affectionate. She likes to cuddle and enjoys being under the covers with me. She checks up on me when I'm in the bathroom and "guards" the door and lays on the floor next to my bed most of the time when I'm in it though she's more willing to join me now that it's cold. She never uses her claws with me. She's never hissed, growled, or shown any signs of aggression towards me or any other person.

 

[calicosrspecial]

So glad to hear all went well.

I think it is great. I hope they got rid of the ringworm now. The challenges of shelters.

We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. As long as we try to move forward and do our best going forward then we succeed. That is all we can do. The past is the past. But we can learn and try to learn from those mistakes. And if we learn and try to do the best we can then we turned a negative into a positive. A very wise person once said "it is not what we achieve in life it is what we overcome". I believe that. The future is what we make of it. I am confident you are going to do a lot of good in the future!!

I hope you always use your intelligence and your thoughtfulness when something happens. I trust you will be able to analyze and assess the situation properly. Never assume, always look at the facts. I know if you do you will come to the right conclusion and figure out the best way going forward. It sounds like that cat was scared of the other cat jumping on your lap. It really had nothing to do with you. Just take a step back and think about what happened in situations like that. For example, I felt terrible last night. An intact male came by last night, one of my ferals and he started staring, growling, etc. A bad situation. My feral defending his territory. This intact male was huge. I debated what to do, I went out and tried to distract my feral but of course he is not going to turn his back on a threat. So I had to decide to let it be and let them work it out or think of something to do. I have experienced this many times before. I sneezed and the intact male took off, my feral went after him. And I heard a big fight. Now, I caused this. I felt terrible. I now I did wrong but my heart was in the right place. But I should have known better. My feral came back after an hour and he was fine, no fur gone, no blood, etc. So I think it was probably a lot worse sounding than it was. But now I worry about the intact male. I guess my point is, we make mistakes and need to understand our role in them and then try not to repeat them. Hopefully I learned but I still don't have a great answer. Your situation was different a cat jumped on your lap. The other cat freaked out. It happens but you shouldn't feel bad because it wasn't your fault.

At least you almost. It is a good try and I am sure you learned something from that. Just keep doing your best. It happens, sometimes they just will not play for some reason. Ash will again soon and of course Ember will. You'll get them to.

The fact you recognize you are learning and want to learn tells me you and the animals will be fine. You are exactly right, the day we think differently is the day it can snowball. Trust me, I think you can handle most anything. You have the knowledge and you have the desire. You have a lot more ability than you truly realize. You are capable of so much more than you realize. But I think you will see it clearer as time passes.

I am so impressed that you are so self aware. You realize that you need to overcome in order to achieve what you want to do. You are intelligent to know how to proceed and the skills you need to succeed. That is a huge asset that many people do not possess. And that is one reason why I think you will achieve almost anything you want. Life is a journey not a destination. Just enjoy the journey, keep working on the path. I know you can do it. I think you have tremendous skills that when unlocked will amaze you. It will take some time and there will be ups and downs but persevere which I know you will. I think it is great that you practiced speaking. Your thoughts in writing are impressive and well thought out. Your brain functions extremely well. You can do it in speaking as well. Just trust and believe in yourself. And practice. Just be yourself, I am guessing you are yourself when you are on here writing. And yourself is pretty good, very likable, intelligent, thoughtful, etc. Just be yourself. Don't hold back, just be yourself.

I think it is good to have some doubt. Doubt helps us make a better decisions. but we don't want it to get in the way. Use doubt as a positive, as a check to make sure what we will do is right. Maybe doubt should be called cerebral. Thinking, analyzing.

You are funny, mentioning the dragon and how maybe that is the way he/she sleeps. Maybe he/she was so impressed that he/she was basking in the knowledge that was imparted on he/she?? We can't control others, all we can do is be ourselves, do our best, have the best intentions. Some will "get it" others may not. But it is not us it is them.

Thank you, I try to be a good person. Yes, effort and trying to do our best. You are definitely honest and self aware. That is great that you admit that you might slack a little on being patient. That is the reason why I am so optimistic you are going to do great things. You are honest, you want to improve and you are self aware. Really good traits (among the many others not mentioned).

You can totally be a leader if you aren't already. I think it is great you don't compromise on your beliefs. That is integrity, another great trait!!

We'll agree to disagree. You are very kind though. I know you would have figured it out because of your intelligence and your desire. Maybe I help accelerate the timeline somewhat but I know you would have figured it out. You have done a great job.

 

[Animal Freak]

Well, all the cats were locked up in cages. Normally the kittens (and the occasional adult) roam two rooms and they'll have a couple of adult cats out in another room, and a fourth room is where the new cats go which they're kept in a kennel temporarily. I'm not sure why they were all locked up. My mom thinks they don't want anything going around again, but I definitely hope that's not the case. I like that shelter so much because the cats aren't locked up constantly. However, the fourth room was still shut and blocked off so they might be trying to get a handle on things before they let them out again.

I sure hope I do. I definitely want to do some good in my life. Of course, I'll make mistakes, but hopefully none that alter the course I've chosen. And hopefully none that cause others suffering.

I try to avoid assuming anything. Sometimes it's hard not to jump to conclusion, but I typically remain open-minded and believe in facts. That sounds like a very distressing situation though, for everyone involved! I don't know what I'd do in that situation. Probably something not very smart like run in the middle of it. That's kind of what I end up doing when something happens between my cats. The fights definitely seem to sound worse than they are. Heck, even play fights are often more serious looking than they actually are.

Frost still doesn't want to play. Ash is still back and forth though he mostly doesn't do much. Ember is playing for the most part though she seems to stop a lot and quits a little early.

I want to know what I can do for them. There aren't many things I'm interesting in and not many things I care to learn about, but animals are one of them. I want to know what I can do to give them the best life possible. I love having them, but I don't want them to be here if I'm going to make their lives miserable. So of course I'm going to do what I can to learn even if it means admitting to being wrong about something because it means improving their lives.

Well, I know I can't get to where I want to be with where I'm at now. That might sound negative, but it's the truth. If I intend on running a business -- any business, but especially one with animals, I need to have confidence and I need to be able to talk to others and I need to be able to make decisions on the spot. Those are traits that are necessary and, while I don't look forward to the business aspect of it, I'll do what I must. Fortunately, writing is one thing that came somewhat naturally to me, so I think that gives me a good foundation for when I am able to properly speak.

Yes, I don't think we'd have doubt if we didn't need it. If we didn't doubt, we'd be reckless. But too much of anything can be a bad thing and I definitely have too much. I probably always will, but I need to be able to push past it. Which will, hopefully, come with a little more confidence.

He/she was adorable. If I could, he/she would have come home with me. But that's the case with most animals. Some pretty coloring on that one though. They had a stunning crested gecko too. But that's off subject.

Honesty is one thing I believe in very strongly. I'm not much for lying even if it is to save one's emotions. Of course, I trying not to unnecessarily hurt people, but if you can't handle the answer then you shouldn't ask. So you can be assured that I speak the truth. My patience is something I'm working on. I have to remind myself to step away when things get to be frustrating.

That we will. I think accelerating the timeline played a very important role. Just from what I've dealt with so far, I know that problems that are allowed to go on get worse and worse and are harder and harder to fix. If those issues had been able to go on for too long then Ember might not be here with us today and that would be absolutely tragic. Even though I know I'd find her a good home, I'm not sure what I'd do without her now that I've had her in my life. I've grown too fond of her and I'd spend every day wondering if she was happy.

By the way, I keep forgetting to ask. Do you know what it means if a cat stops covering his poop? I've noticed that it's been getting left uncovered a lot lately and it smells very bad. It's been happening probably at least once a day and maybe more often since it usually gets covered later on. I can't see it being Ember. She's kind of obsessive when it comes to things being covered. If she finds anything outside of the litterbox, she tries covering it even if there's nothing there to cover it with. She does the same with her food sometimes. I thought it might be Frost since he normally scratches at the sides of the litterbox more than the litter itself, but that's been going on as long as I can remember and this is more recent. I saw Ash jump out without covering, but I've also seen him covering it and I was kind of hovering when he left it uncovered.

Also! Because this isn't long enough. Yesterday the cutest thing happened. We put a litter coat on Stella (that's too small) and she was pouting on my lap with her front end on the couch. Ember came over and was walking all over her which was kind of funny, but I did watch that Stella wasn't too uncomfortable. She barely moved. Then Ember laid down on my lap and used Stella as a pillow and it was absolutely adorable. It was wonderful and I was sad to see the moment end. It went on for a little while though. Today I found Ember and Ash cuddling in my bed together which was adorable too.

 

[calicosrspecial]

My guess is they are trying to make sure everything is handled and cleaned so that the risk of anything causing problems is limited. Trying to contain a situation before it spreads is really important. It is hard to handle sadly but important.

The fact you are cognizant of what you want and the pitfalls etc tells me you are going to do fine. You are intelligent and your heart is in the right place. I am confident.

It is really great to stay open minded and stay on facts while watching out for assuming things. It is easy to assume something and go down that path and realize that the assumption was incorrect. Very easy to do. Vets do it, people do it. But being aware of the risk puts a person ahead of the situation. Yeah, it is a hard situation. I know I will encounter it again and I hope I do better next time. Yes play fights can sound really bad.

Just do your best. At least Ember is playing. Even one piece of the puzzle can improve the whole thing.

That is a great attitude. Humility is very good and helps in making their lives better. If you keep up that attitude I guarantee you will make animals lives better.

The fact you recognize that and want to improve the skills base is a great step toward achieving your goals. I think you will be amazed how far you can go. If you keep working on the things you want to improve you will succeed. You attitude with regard to that is actually a big reason why I am so confident. Writing and teh thought process behind it are a great base to lead to good speaking. You can do it.

You are exactly right about doubt. A little is good too much bad. The fact you are aware is incredibly important to balancing that. You will push past this. I know you can and I know you will.

Wow, that is really cool. I always thought that you can tell a lot about a person about how they interact with people or animals. Animals are really cool. They tend to bring out good things in people.

Honesty is very important. There is a balance but we have to weigh what is best. Some situations are hard but if we can be sincere, tell the truth and try to help then it should ultimately work out.

You are right, I am so glad Ember is with you and happy. They really are so important in our lives as we are in theirs.

I am not an expert on not covering sadly. It is possible it could be nothing, it could be a little territorial. The fact someone is still using the litter box probably rules out medical though there could be a little discomfort? Are the sizes or consistency different at all? How long has it been going on?

Wow, those are 2 great encounters!! THAT is what we wanted to achieve!! AWESOME!! and beyond cute!! YOu are obviously doing things right!! Great work!!

 

[Animal Freak]

I hope that's all it is and they'll let them back out. I'm sure that's a stressful job to have. It's sad seeing all the cats locked up though.

It is very hard to avoid assuming things all the time and I won't say I never do it, but I'm normally open to being wrong. I'm more wary of people and their intentions than anything. I get rather tired of people assuming things about me though so I try not to do the same.

Ember is playing. Ash is not. Frost is weird. He shows interest, but won't actually play. He'll take off running, go straight past the toy and into the dining room.

I will keep working on it. It's not easy, but I'll get there.

Well, I definitely interact with animals better and more often than people. Personally, I do judge people based on how they interact with and speak about animals. It shows whether or not they respect them.

I am too. Sometimes I still wonder if she wouldn't prefer being the only animal, but I believe she's bonded with me and I think moving her would be even more stressful on her than living with other animals.

It looks normal to me which is why I haven't worried about it too much. It also doesn't happen consistently, but it looks fine to me. It's been going on for maybe couple of weeks, but of course, now that I've said something I haven't noticed any more left uncovered. Everything else seems normal other than some throwing up which isn't totally uncommon. Ember threw up some food yesterday morning, but she was caught eating the other two's food and was probably hurrying to avoid being caught. I don't know how to get her to stop doing that.

It was adorable. Ember cuddling with Ash in my bed isn't so rare in the winter, but her using the dog as a pillow was a new one. Normally, if the dog gets anything, it's her back end.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I hope so. It is very hard but I am sure they are doing what is best. Really important to contain the situation. once something spreads it really gets difficult. I wish them the best luck.

It is very hard. I battle assuming all the time as going down a certain path. Staying open to facts is really important. As long as we are cognizant of the dangers then hopefully we can avoid doing it more often.

It is great Ember is playing. I wonder why Ash isn't. Bored maybe? Frost is funny. That sounds like something he would do.

You will get there!! Nothing worth it is ever easy.

Animals are better than people. The way people treat animals or people "below" them tells a lot about the character of that person. It is always best to associate yourself with good, honest, well intentioned, sincere people.

I get a sense Ember likes the other animals more than you think. I think she is in the best place possible. The bond you have with her and vice versa is so special.

As long it is normal I wouldn't worry. Just keep monitoring. Yes eating too fast will do that. It is very tough to get them not to each the others food. I haven't figured it out. They always like what the other has. So common. Mine, my ferals, all of them. Hahahahaha

It really is. Makes it all worth it!! Hahahaha, yeah, they like to do that.

 

[Animal Freak]

We went and volunteered last night. My mom wanted to take care of the cats, but someone else had already done that when we got there so we helped out with the dogs. It was a lot of fun. We took a few for walks, gave them fresh water, and prepared their food. I was also allowed to put treats in some toys and give them out. I really enjoyed it, even when one of the dogs banged the door into my head. Twice. And then I proceeded to hit my head on the lock. I did find out that the fourth room that was still locked up was under quarantine until today. They're site is also pretty much up-to-date now so I'm hoping that means things are calming down and the cats will be allowed to roam again. I noticed that they have a feral cat though. He seems calmer than I would have expected, but he doesn't seem to move much. I don't know what they're going to do with him. I don't think they're equipped to handle a feral and have no clue how they ended up with him.

It's a fight we'll probably always battle and one we'll sometimes lose, but I'll keep fighting it. If I don't, I'll be a hypocrite and I'd rather not be that.

I've no idea with those two. Ash is back and forth a lot. Maybe he needs a new toy, but I play with two different ones every day. You'd think one of them would be good enough for him, but oh no. They're going to break me with this not wanting to play with a toy for more than a week or two. They are getting new toys for Christmas, but I don't think I can afford anymore before then. Well, I could, but I have a fear of spending money and I'm looking forward to including them in our tradition. My mom is doing so too which means they should have plenty of toys once Christmas comes.

I agree. People think they're smarter, but the only difference is that they're more complex. In some ways, I think animals have it better since they aren't worried about being something they're not and they don't go around lying. Many of them just want to live. People have to fight those battles and many don't come out on top. Of course, some do and those are the people I'd like to associate myself with.

I don't think Ember has anything against the other animals, but she kind of comes off as one of those cats that would rather have the spotlight on her 24/7. She gets along with them for the most part, but she gains rather little from having them around. They play together every now and then, but not often. Ash is good for body heat, I guess. She's not going anywhere though. I'd be miserable without her if I did have to give her up which, unfortunately, is something I've had to consider. Not for my own good, but for hers and the other two's. She has a home with us though so she's stuck with me and the dog and the other cats.

I will keep an eye out. Of course, I have yet to see it happen again. I won't stress over it since it seemed normal otherwise. They are a bunch of brats when it comes to food. Frost had a tendency to nibble on his own food until Ash is done. Then he goes over and finishes off Ash's food while his own bowl is still half full. Ember at least finishes hers before she goes to the next bowl.

Oh yes, my mom and I are kind of, sort of, taking care of a feral. I'm not sure how much we're actually going to do, but we made a place for the cat out of a storage bin. It's not the best, but it's better than nothing. It's lined with some carpeting that was left over though I'll buy some Styrofoam if I can find any and there's a pad on the bottom that's supposed to retain heat. We got it for the dog, but she didn't like it. We're trying to see if anyone has any straw we can use. We're also trying to find a TNR organization, but so far I've only been able to find two: one charges you to use a cage and you have to catch the cat, and the other didn't mention prices or if you have to catch the cat. We might be able to trap the cat, but we can't really afford to pay anything, especially since there's no guarantee we'll catch the right cat the first try. We were also debating on putting food out to lure the cat in. The only problem is that both of us feel like we're obligated to continue feedings if we do, but we have four animals to feed as it is as well as ourselves. I'm also wary of doing anything to encourage other cats to stay in this area. We're only doing this because my mom has seen this cat multiple times. We're pretty much surrounded by roads and the busiest road in town is right behind us. Of course, that's not saying much because it's a tiny town and the speed limit is 30 mph, and I have yet to see a cat run over, but I'd rather limit the amount of cats here. Of course, there's our indoor cats too. Part of the reason we want to TNR is to prevent spraying around the house. The cats don't seem to have a problem with us smelling like other cats, but I'm afraid a cat spraying will be different, especially for Ember.

 

[calicosrspecial]

That is great. It sounds like it was a lot of fun. Some dogs do get a little wild with treats. I know I have had a few in my life!!

That is good that they think they are through the issue. It is smart that they are taking their time. It is better to be cautious then have a recurring issue.

Ferals can be very still. I deal with ferals all the time. He probably is very frightened. Ferals are like any cat. I take in older ferals, with effort and love I have gotten them to be great cats. It is all about trust. Never stand over or approach from above a feral. Never stare at them. Act normally (calm and confidently). Give eye kisses (slowly close your eyes, hold closed for 5 - 10 seconds then slowly open). Use food. It is all about building trust. I hope they have some knowledge or come to this site for some help. I have dealt with a lot of ferals in my life and they are just cats that want to be loved and taken care of. All mine are ferals (former) and they are loving and wonderful.

Oh I know you will be fine. You are cognizant of watching for assuming so you will do fine. I don't see you as a hypocrite.

Yeah, sometimes it is just them. My ferals were playing with a mouse last night. The other day they didn't care. If a cat doesn't want to play with a real mouse they will not play with a toy of any kind. Just do your best, don't spend too much money because it may not be the toy. Make sure you make the toy act like prey (a mouse, etc). Those kind of halting movements. And make the toy go around the corner and make them get intrigued.

I think that is very wise. It is interesting, I actually find animals very good at having conscience. I see mine actually be sympathetic. It is pretty amazing. I think you have it right trying to find the good people in this world.

Some cats are more loners. I have a feral like that. Some are more close. It just depends. I do get a sense that Ember cares more about the animals than you think. I think it is more than just looking for warmth. I think Ember is very special. The bond you have with her and she has with you is awesome. I have a sense there is no where else she would rather be.

That is good. Yeah, I don't think it is anything to worry about.

Yep, sounds like mine. I just fed the ferals and the one did exactly what Frost does. They love to share always thinking the grass is greener on the other side. It also says to me they are very comfortable with each other.

Contact Alley Cat Allies and ask them if they have volunteers in your area to help do a TNR. Just explain that you can't afford to get them spayed or neutered right now but you want to do the right thing. They hopefully have someone in your area to do it. There are so many people who are willing to do TNR and many have organizations or vets that do free or discounted procedures. Controlling the population is our number 1 goal. So just ask around, I am sure you will find someone to help out. TNR is the most humane thing to do in addition to easing issue with indoor cats. Let me know if you need ideas on how to handle this. I do TNR all the time and though I am not an expert trapper I do alright. The feral segment of this site is excellent as well.