Struggling With Play Time

[calicosrspecial]

At least it was interesting. Hopefully next time it will be more relaxing.

VERY cool. Let's hope they don't hide this laser!! It is great that Ember and Stella love it.

Slapping happens but I am so glad they stopped it and then resumed to normal behavior. That is great and a very positive sign.

Keep up the great work!!

 

[Charlene Giles]

This has been a helpful thread. I had stopped playing with my Bengal Larry for a few months. We’ve been so busy with a baby on the way and taking the kids to karate and running my daycare. I tried playing with his favourite toy today and all he did was try to cuddle. No interest at all. Perhaps I will have to get some new toys, this laser pointer sounds fun!! To get his interest back. I feel so bad for not playing with him the way we did. I’m always telling the kids when they come and say “ I’m bored”, to play with Larry. But hat doesn’t last long as they complain he won’t play... I feel horrible for having this happen when I could have prevented it

 

[calicosrspecial]

Charlene,

Please do not be so hard on yourself. It is hard for most people to find the time to play.

New toys are always great to try. I am not familiar with Berngals sadly but with most cats if you make the toy act like prey (like a mouse or a bird etc) with the movements like they would have the cat should get interested. They love to stalk the toy (prey), hunt it, then pounce on it, and kill it, then repeat.

Another good option is to have a lot of cat trees and cat shelving so a cat can go up and down and run around a bit and entertain themselves. Also, toys that don't require human intervention. The only problem with a laser is some cats can get frustrated because they can't actually "kill" it. So they don't get the satisfaction of the "kill" in the Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat process.

As long as Larry is behaving, eating normal, enjoying life then just do your best. The fact he wanted to cuddle says he must be loving his life.

Cats take on our emotions so just be your loving self to Larry (letting him know he is loved), be positive around him, calm and confident and he should take that on and feel good as well.

Feel free to contact us anytime, we are happy to help as much as possible.

 

[Animal Freak]

At least it was interesting. Hopefully next time it will be more relaxing.

VERY cool. Let's hope they don't hide this laser!! It is great that Ember and Stella love it.

Slapping happens but I am so glad they stopped it and then resumed to normal behavior. That is great and a very positive sign.

Keep up the great work!!

The laser is fantastic. They love it. I can't say I'm entirely impressed with the other toy and they don't seem to be in love with it either though I have gotten some interest. They might like it better with a different attachment. So far I've only used one. However, it seems a bit flimsy and feels as if it'll break quite easily and it's retractable, but I can't control it. It just slides out when it tilts downward and slides back in when it tilts upward. Overall, that part I could get used to, but I don't like how flimsy it is. Maybe it's stronger than it seems though. I guess we'll see how long it lasts.

My schedule was basically torn to pieces and thrown away today. We were baking for quite a while. Tomorrow we're going to fundraising event for a local shelter that I like to go to. However, we've had no issues. Well, nothing really worth worrying over. While playing with them, Ash did slap at Frost and Frost slapped him back, but they barely even made contact and I'm not positive it wasn't playful, but it didn't seem like it. I think Ash just decided that Frost invaded his space too much and too quickly. He seemed surprised that Frost retaliated though. He kept watching him even as Frost walked away. Ember also slapped at Stella when the dog ran by, but I think she was still in play mode and the sudden motion set her off. I'm not sure if she made contact or not, but she didn't hurt Stella at all.

I know I've said it before, but I really am amazed at how far we've come. I played with Stella and Ember with the laser light just letting them take turns. They do it almost entirely on their own though Stella often does wait for me to give her permission to go after the light. This game is probably what helped us get through a lot of our issues to begin with and I think it'll continue to help. There were a few times where Ember stopped and seemed to realize she was rather close to the dog, but there were also times she nearly trampled Stella and never even paused. Ember rarely even flinches when Stella starts running anymore. Sometimes I compare now to where we started and I'm just astonished. It does prove that you just have to have patience. If an insecure cat (and she was much worse when we first got the dog) can get along with a hyperactive dog, then it seems like we should all be able to get along with each other, no matter what species we are.

This has been a helpful thread. I had stopped playing with my Bengal Larry for a few months. We’ve been so busy with a baby on the way and taking the kids to karate and running my daycare. I tried playing with his favourite toy today and all he did was try to cuddle. No interest at all. Perhaps I will have to get some new toys, this laser pointer sounds fun!! To get his interest back. I feel so bad for not playing with him the way we did. I’m always telling the kids when they come and say “ I’m bored”, to play with Larry. But hat doesn’t last long as they complain he won’t play... I feel horrible for having this happen when I could have prevented it

I agree with calicosrspecial completely. We all make mistakes and the fact that you want to fix that mistake means you care about your cat's health and happiness. I made this thread in the first place because I slacked off on my responsibilities and I felt horrible about it too. I don't have the excuse of children either. They're the only children I have. I think these mistakes are something we should feel bad about (because if you don't, you probably won't change it) and then fix it and move on.

As already said, laser lights aren't the greatest because the cat can't actually catch or "kill" it, but it does seem to be a hit with most cats. Not all though. Of my four animals, only two of them play with the laser light and one of them is the dog. One of the other cats will occasionally go after it, but not much. I'll probably keep up with the laser light from now on because those two love it so much and I feel kind of bad preventing them from playing with it and it's also a good way to wear them out quickly. However, I will play with actual toys with them as well so they can catch something.

If your cat likes catnip then that could help. It's supposed to stimulate them before making them calm. Kind of like a sugar rush, but healthier. It doesn't work for me though because the second I open the bag, Ember just wants to roll around in it. Which is cute, but not getting her much exercise.

Another thing I want to point out is that every cat has its own preferences. Some like ground prey, some like flying prey. Ember loves jumping up and doing flips (and she's gotten much better about landing on her feet!) as well as jumping up to the prey. I'll put the toy on my bed or whatever is nearby and she'll peek over the edge before pouncing on it. Frost typically prefers ground prey, but he will sometimes jump for it (though his back feet don't usually go more than a couple of inches off the ground). Really, he just likes rapid and random movement. Ash likes a little of both. He'll jump for it if he's in the mood, but sometimes he's just not up for it.

I'd be more than happy to help in any way I can, but I'm still learning too so I make no promises. There's probably plenty of people here who can help you more than I can, but I'm glad my thread was useful to you. I know I've learned a lot since posting it!

 

[calicosrspecial]

I would contact the seller or the company that makes it and make sure it is working like it is supposed to. I am not sure which toy you have but it should be pretty good. The retractables usually work pretty well since it tends to replicate the movement a bit smoother. Try the different attachments as some cats like some more than others.

A swat back and forth happens. As long as that is all it is and they act normal after it is fine. You should see my two male ferals. They will be swatting each other, getting rough (not play more competitive), while I am getting the food ready then they will walk with me with their tails intertwined rubbing on each other before eating together.

As long as Frost and Ash didn't escalate the issue I am not worried. I think you are right, Ash's space was invaded, he let Frost know and Frost was like "okay". They worked it out.

Cats often will swat when another animal runs by as they want to play so I am not worried about what Ember did to Stella (especially because Stella was not hurt which Ember didn't want to hurt her anyway most likely).

You have done an amazing job with Ember and all the others. I LOVE to hear that Ember and Stella like to play together. That they have a bond. It isn't easy to get a cat and a more active dog together and you did. FANTASTIC. I love that Ember barely flinches when Stella runs by or around. That is trust, that is what our goal is, to be that trust and confidence. Really great job.

GREAT post to Charlene. Really well said, great information and advice.

 

[Animal Freak]

I should probably go read about it. I ordered it on Amazon and I didn't really bother reading it since I was in a bit of a hurry and figured everyone seems to love "Da Bird" so it would be fine. But maybe it's just me. Maybe it is fine. I guess the movement could help make it seem more real and there could be a reason it acts so flimsy. It hasn't broken yet anyway. I did try another attachment. Very little interest. Ember played a little when it was clear the boys weren't about it. I played with them with the laser light. Ash actually went after a bit which he doesn't do much anymore.

I haven't had any issues among them. Even with me running about, in and out of the house, and coming home smelling like a bunch of dogs, no one seemed to care except Stella who just wanted to sniff me. Ash sniffed me a bit too, but he wasn't bothered.

I am very proud of their progress. Ember doesn't seem bothered by Stella at all anymore. Ash is getting better too. He won't be found nearby when she's running around and they typically give each other a wide berth, but he hasn't swatted at her lately and they can be within a foot or two of each other without a problem as long as Stella stays calm. She's still a bit jumpy around him, but has gotten much better with Ember. She gets out of the cat's way when Ember is playing with the laser light though. Ember nearly ran over her the other day and, while she wasn't hurt, I think it kind of freaked her out.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Ahhhhh, you got Da Bird. It does feel a bit flimsy but I have had success with it as it good to replicate birds and cats that like to jump for them. I would have thought Ember would have liked it.

Cool that Ash played with the laser!!

That is great they reacted well to the other dog smells. That tells me you have built their confidence. Great.

It sounds to me like Ember and Stella really get along well. Ash has understood her more and learned to give her her space. Fast movements do affect cats but the more confident they become the more trusting and tolerant they are of different movements. I am proud of you and the cats for the progress you all have made!!

 

[Animal Freak]

I would have thought she would too. Absolutely no interest. The only way I could get her attention was dangling it in front of her. Eventually she jumped for it a couple of times, but that was it. Same with Ash. In the last ten minutes, I got some interest from him but not much. Ember really likes the laser light though. I just wish I could get her to catch something. Ash has been playing with the laser light quite a bit though. It's been a while since I've seen him do more than run in a straight line for it once or twice a session. Right now I'm doing a session with the laser twice before doing a session with a toy. So it's the light and then throw a toy for the dog. Then the light and the toy for the cats.

All has been well otherwise. We got them some different food that they don't care for though. It's not a different brand. Just made for different things. Honestly, I have no clue what we should focus on with food. There's so many different kinds for different things and there's so many issues among the three cats what with UTIs, arthritis, hairballs, weight problems... I'd like to be able to afford one those great, really expensive cat foods that's all real meat and whatnot.

I did see Ash lurch away from Ember today while I was making their meals, but I didn't actually see her do anything so I don't know if she did do something or if he just flinched because he thought she was going to. Either way, nothing came of it. They went right back to normal.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Some cats like different things. But I am glad that they love the laser. As long as they enjoy the play and respond to it then not being able to catch it is not hurting them. So I wouldn't worry. I love that Ash is playing with it too.

It sounds like you have a great plan for the play sessions. Well done!!

Just change their food slowly. You may want to post in the other section for food ideas. A lot of people have a lot of experience in the types of foods and they probably can help give you some great ideas. I know it is hard to figure out what is best.

Things can always happen but i am so glad nothing came of it today. That they reverted back to normal. That is really the key, that they learned how to get along and what the intent of the other cat is. Good sign.

Keep up the great work!!

 

[Lalka]

Since i removed the feathers and mouse attachment from my Da bird wand and only let them run after the naked string...my cats love it even more lol. They liked the mouse but the deer hairs just fall everywhere after 2 days and im not sure if its safe.

If you remove the feathers/mouse...make sure you also undo the knot to remove the metal clip on the string.

 

[Animal Freak]

Some cats like different things. But I am glad that they love the laser. As long as they enjoy the play and respond to it then not being able to catch it is not hurting them. So I wouldn't worry. I love that Ash is playing with it too.

It sounds like you have a great plan for the play sessions. Well done!!

Just change their food slowly. You may want to post in the other section for food ideas. A lot of people have a lot of experience in the types of foods and they probably can help give you some great ideas. I know it is hard to figure out what is best.

Things can always happen but i am so glad nothing came of it today. That they reverted back to normal. That is really the key, that they learned how to get along and what the intent of the other cat is. Good sign.

Keep up the great work!!

They definitely like the laser light. Frost had no interest. Not really all that surprising knowing him. Stella wasn't as interested in it today, but I got her to play with it a bit since she runs more for that than she does playing tug of war and chasing a toy. I have a play session with the laser light in the morning too. Then fetch with the dog. I want to play with Ember too, but I keep running out of time. Something makes me run late.

I'm happy that Ash is paying too. I always worry he might be in pain if he's not playing, but he seems to be doing better. He lets me brush his legs though not for long and he won't let me feel around for any knots so I'm just kind of hoping at this point. I haven't felt anything from what I've been able to feel.

Eventually I will definitely ask for opinions on food since I would like to get something better, but it's not really an option as far as money goes right now. I may see if anyone has an idea on an affordable food that would benefit them all though.

My mom caused a bit of an incident tonight. She accidently stepped on the tip of Ash's tail. He hissed, Ember hissed. I turned around to see Ash low of the ground, one leg extended and Ember watching him. They walked away from each other though and she went up to him shortly after, sniffed him, and they were friends again. Definitely an improvement. I'm pretty sure that would have ended in a fight if it had happened earlier when Ember was really insecure.

Since i removed the feathers and mouse attachment from my Da bird wand and only let them run after the naked string...my cats love it even more lol. They liked the mouse but the deer hairs just fall everywhere after 2 days and im not sure if its safe.

If you remove the feathers/mouse...make sure you also undo the knot to remove the metal clip on the string.

Sounds like my cats. I finally got them really interested in playing when a toy broke so it was just a string. They absolutely loved it. It got old though and it was time to get a new one. Which broke too, but on my end instead of theirs. I just got this one and I'm not sure if I'm ready to be intentionally breaking it just yet, but it is an option I'll keep in mind.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I am glad they love the laser light. Some cats just aren't interested in it and Frost sounds like one of them unfortunately. The interest does ebb and flow so just go with their interest.

It sounds like Ash is doing better, I hope so. Just do your best. At least he does let you brush a little.

I am sure people have some good more affordable ideas.

It happens sadly and it always seems to happen when the other cat is near. But it sounds like they really did well given that. I am really proud of both of them for working it out and not fighting. You really have done a great job with them. I am so proud!!

 

[Animal Freak]

Everyone played today! Yay! Well Frost didn't play a whole lot, but he was the only (cat) to play with the toy and not the laser light. Ash went after the toy a little. He actually played a lot more than he has in a while. He went after the laser light several times and the wand toy a bit as well. He seems to be feeling pretty good. He also has a weird obsession with certain smells. I didn't put it together until recently, but he loves dryer sheets and he sometimes gets a bit weird after my shower (I think I talked about this before?), and he's recently discovered my deodorant. It's very weird because he rubs against and tries to put his face under my arm. It was even worse tonight as he literally tried rolling against my side as I was sitting on the floor.

Everything has been great. I don't think we've had this much peace since... well, since Ember was young at least. And it's been a long time, if ever, that Ember has had so much confidence. No one is slapping at the dog at all anymore though Ash is still a bit weary. However, his interest in the laser light in helping. He's ran right past her going after the light and didn't even pause. There weren't any issues during feeding time and I'm still a bit amazed that yesterday's incident didn't turn into a fight or at least have lasting tension.

We finally managed to get out of summer weather (it's coming back though) and Ember is being really clingy. She's laying on my lap, getting in bed with me at night, and overall just looking for attention and some warmth. Her ears are always so cold, but it's not even that cold in the house! The other night she woke me up around three or four in the morning walking all over me, purring as loud as she could, and nudging my arms though she refused to go under the blanket when I offered. For almost half of this reply she was rubbing on my hands and flopping down on the keyboard. It's adorable, but it's a lot less adorable in the middle of the night when you're trying to sleep!

 

[calicosrspecial]

That is GREAT!!! Keep doing what you are doing. It is working!! I love to here that Frost played and that Ash seems to be feeling better. So great.

Ash wants to claim you, to have his scent on you to let everyone know you are his. Really cute. He loves you and wants everyone to know it. What a sweetheart.

I love to hear this. I am so glad things are working out. There are always ups and downs but you have the knowledge and desire to resolve any issues that might come up. I am so proud of them for last night's non-incident. That is what we work for, for them to let it pass. You really have done a great job!!

Ember sounds like mine. They just love you. Being happy, getting their scent on you, loving life showing it by purring. Right now one of mine is here on my lap rubbing, purring, disrupting my typing. Hahahaha, it actually happens about half of the time I am on the site!! But I am happy but I agree, in the middle of the night it isn't as sweet!! I haven't had an undisturbed night of sleep in decades but I wouldn't change it for the world. Welcome to being loved by your cat.

 

[Animal Freak]

I'm happy they're all finally getting into playing. It can be difficult to get all three interested. Heck, getting one can be difficult depending on their mood.

Ash has definitely gotten sweeter as he's aged though I think he really likes the smell of my deodorant too. He acts like Ember on catnip. It's funny, but kind of weird too. His obsession with dryer sheets is a bit concerning though. He doesn't eat them or anything, but he will bite them. I always feel bad taking them away too because he loves them so much, but I don't want him getting hurt by it.

Ember has been on my lap on and off since I got home. I had to leave though so I'm not with them right now and tomorrow night I'm going camping, but I'll be back Sunday.

I have to advantage of being a pretty deep sleeper. I wake up when I need to and I have trouble sleeping at night, but I don't wake up when Ember slams my bedroom door open. So I'm actually okay with the noise they make unless they do it before I fall asleep or when I wake up in the middle of the night. However, they are a bit snugglier in the winter. Frost will lay in my bed and groom himself which I can hear from across the room. Ember likes to lay on my ankles, but I move too much so she usually leaves after a little while. I do enjoy having her company though. No matter how hard she makes things at times, I wouldn't trade her for the world.

 

[calicosrspecial]

It is wonderful they all play. I know, it ebbs and flows but you are doing well. Just keep doing your best and making it interesting and rewarding for them.

Ash, too funny. Yeah, I would be careful with the dryer sheets as well. Just to be safe. I know it is hard to keep them away from things like that but it is best for them.

That is sweet. Ember does have a bond with you. I am sure she is going to miss you.

You are so lucky to be a deep sleeper. They love the warmth in the winter. That is cute with Frost. Grooming is a great sign and he must love your bed to be so loud. Wonderful.

I know you love Ember. And she really loves you. It is very special. I know the feeling well, nothing like it in the world, that bond, that love. Special.

Hope you had a great time camping.

 

[Animal Freak]

So sorry about my absence. As you know, I went camping Saturday night. I was at my dad's for a good portion of Sunday and thought it would be best if I responded after getting home and going through my routine with the animals so I'd actually have an update, but got busy trying to get unpacked and ready for the next day and, thus, ran out of time. The next day I simply forgot and yesterday I typed up a response on my tablet, but some error occurred and wanted me to refresh, but then my response was gone. I don't really like typing on my tablet all that much as it is and I definitely didn't feel like doing it twice.

Everything has, overall, been quite good though. There was an incident the first night I got home. I can't remember it well anymore though. It wasn't as minor as many of incidents have been, but it didn't last either. There hasn't been any other issues to worry about. Ash did slap at Stella once when I was feeding her, but it was a slow and hesitant slap that barely fazed even her. I told him that that was rude and if anyone should get out of the kitchen it was him because it was her dinner time. Of course, he didn't care, but he didn't have any issues afterward.

Ember and Ash have been having tons of fun with the laser light. They've been playing a lot more lately. Frost is the only one I have trouble with. He won't even so much as look at the laser light and he only occasionally plays with the wand toy, but never for long. Admittedly, I'm not extremely worried about him. Of course, it would be great if he would play, but he's far from overweight, plays with the others, and typically comes off as a very confident cat. I'd rather not stress myself out over an otherwise perfectly healthy cat.

Well, maybe not perfectly. I found a bump on the side of his neck and, upon closer observation, we realized it was a half peeled scab. We can only guess that he scratched a little too much. It was very concerning to me, but it always is when it comes to them. But he was a very good boy letting us look and barely fought at all. I gave him some petting afterwards.

I do have a bond with Ember. That much is undeniable and I'm not so naïve as to take it for granted. She means a lot to me. She doesn't need a pedigree to be special and she doesn't require a set temperament to be a sweetie. Don't get me wrong, I do love the boys and I wouldn't change them for the world. If we could change cats to be exactly as we want then they wouldn't be their own selves. They wouldn't be the individuals that we love, but Ember is the first I've had a real bond with. She's been worth every struggle, every stressful moment. All of the times that she's prevented me from getting my work done or kept me from sleeping is worth every time she greets me at the door when I come home or lays on my lap and purrs like she wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Please never worry about posting. I know you are busy. No need to apologize.

Oftentimes when we are go and come home in the excitement things can happen. But it couldn't have been too bad if you don't really remember it and they must have gotten back to normal fairly quickly.

Ash. It doesn't sound like a bad swat. Maybe it was play?

That is GREAT that Ember and Ash are playing so well!! Love to hear that.

I totally agree, don't worry about Frost, if he is playing with the others, is confident, and is at a fine weight all is good. As long as he is doing well, that is our goal.

Just keep an eye on where the scab was. He probably scratched too much or got bitten by a mosquito or something. As long as he is not dealing with it a lot it is probably nothing. Just keep an eye on it though. He was good to allow you to check it out, another sign it doesn't bother him.

That is really sweet what you wrote about Ember. I can see it is a special bond. I know what you mean, you love them all but there are some that bond a bit more for whatever reason. It really is special and wonderful. I never worry about you taking a loved one for granted. Your cats are very fortunate to have you.

 

[Animal Freak]

I won't rule out play, but it seems unlikely. He's still very tense around her and I can't see him being ready to play. He doesn't even play with Ember all that often and they have a much better relationship.

The scab was pretty long so a scratch seems likely. It's rather small now though. I had trouble finding it. Of course, he kept moving too. I was trying to be discreet and not irritate him.

I definitely try to give them a good home. Sometimes it would be easier if they could talk though. Ash has a UTI. It's his fourth one, I think. We're not sure how he got it. My mom thinks she messed up because we got food with glucosamine in it and she didn't want us to give him his medicine since it was already in his food. But he's been off of glucosamine before and he didn't always have a UTI. We have a fountain bowl for him and he gets wet cat food, plus he wasn't even off the glucosamine since it is in the food, but he dribbled pee on a towel and again on the floor so it's obvious something is wrong.

He acts fine though. He's playing though, admittedly, not much. Jumps fine and no problems being brushed unless I take too long on the back legs. He still runs around the house and yowls for attention. He's been rather loving today, actually. We did set a vet appointment for tomorrow morning as well as put him on his medicine again. Today I saw him in the litter box with the hood which is a first. I don't think he did anything, but he got in the one in my bedroom shortly after and peed a fair amount so he might be getting better. Now we're struggling with whether or not we should keep the appointment. Of course, I don't want him to be in pain and he's been in pain long enough as it is so I'd like to be able to just do it anyway, but money is a problem. I'll pay for it, of course, but it is an issue, especially for something that appears to be getting better. There's also the stress that he has to go through to get to the vet and back -- which stresses me as well.

We do want to ask the vet if there's anything else we can do to prevent UTIs though. We're also going to get another water bowl and put it in my room to see if he feels more comfortable in there. I think I'm going to try to let him drink from the faucet at least once a day when I catch him in the bathroom too.

 

[calicosrspecial]

As long it didn't escalate then it isn't too bad. At least they didn't fight.

Do you think the scratch was from an object or another cat?

Poor Ash. If you can get him into the vet I would keep it. I would ask the vet about the food he is eating and whether that could be a cause. I would check the site for the food he is eating and see if anyone else has had issues (UTI). Do you think he is getting enough water? Was he going as often as he was before? I know it can be stressful but I always get a vet involved to help dealing with issues like this.

I think you have a good plan to help him (asking the vet what else can be done to prevent this, adding water bowls, drink from the faucet). Poor guy. At least he is acting normal though.

Ughhhhh, please let me know how the vet visit goes. I hope he gets better soon.