Struggling With Play Time

[calicosrspecial]

So I still suck at updating. However, I do have some updates and they aren't the greatest. Fortunately, there's no leftover damage done, but it was concerning.

First off, they've been on and off with playing. Sometimes they love it, sometimes they couldn't care less. I have trouble getting Ember's attention in the morning and she gets distracted easily. She also usually refuses to play with the boys around anymore.

Also, a couple of days ago I witnessed Frost slap Ash. It was a small slap, no harm, no fights. Ash flinched back, but did nothing else so it may seem small, but for them it was huge. In all their six years together, I've seen aggression between them I think twice, both times from Ash and both occasions occurring in the past year or so. So Frost slapping Ash is a pretty big deal, no matter how minor it was.

The next morning I saw Frost lunge at Ember. This is beyond anything he's ever done before. Normally it's a hiss, maybe a slap, but never has he actually gone after her. It was more of a threat than anything, but he did lurch towards her when all she did was walk past him. She didn't even look at him when she did so. She took it very well for such a skittish cat. Tail up and everything. Then she walked past him again and this time he sort of trotted after her as she left my room. He stopped at the doorway, hissed at her, and then left as well. That was the end of it and there have been no other issues. In fact, I later saw Ash playing with Frost and then Ash playing with Ember shortly after which was wonderful to see.

However, I'm afraid that, if Frost keeps this behavior up, we'll be back to where we started. We've come so far to lose all that progress. They've all been getting along so well and I was finally thinking we might actually be able to have a peaceful household once again. They've all been getting along with the dog great. Ash is the only one who retains any weariness of her and he's pretty much completely stopped lashing out when she gets too close. If she gets to riled up near him then he usually takes off, but he'll walk by her and doesn't slap her anymore. And, in turn, she's becoming less fearful of them.

I do actually have a question though, putting everything else aside. Do you think it's possible for a cat to want to be petted by a dog? I have to say, it's really quite adorable. Sometimes Stella will just be standing in the middle of the floor for whatever reason and Ember will get up from wherever she is and walk over to Stella, meowing. Then she flops down right at the dog's feet and rolls over. It's the exact same behavior she does when she wants me to pet her and I just love seeing her try to talk to the dog. I feel bad for Ember though because Stella is still slightly weary of her and will usually turn around and leave the second she realizes the cat isn't just passing by. I told Stella that that was rude of her, but she doesn't care.

Your updates are great and helpful.

I am not too worried about not always playing. I don't like that she isn't playing with the boys anymore but it could be nothing. And later in your post you mention Ash and Ember playing which is GREAT. So it probably is nothing but we need to watch it.

Frost slapping Ash is odd. I have 2 twins, 7 years old. They were always together but when I added another they started be a little more like that. It was never a worry but they separated a bit. I think Frost was telling Ash just don't do what you did (or was thinking of). As long as it didn't last and it didn't change behavior in a negative way then I am not worried but keep trying to associate them with good things and limiting any negative encounters. Keep calm and confident around them and keep letting them know they are loved.

Then Frost lurched at Ember. So a bit more. It sounds like Frost is struggling with something. Confidence, or something. SO we need to watch this. Just keep giving him attention, giving him love, giving him a feeling of security. We need to watch this but it does happen AND since it didn't escalate it isn't too worrying. But it sounds like Frost is a little "off" for some reason. It sounds like Ember handled it well though.

I wonder if something happened when no one was home. Tough to know.

I am not that worried. I LOVE the fact Ash and Frost played and Ash and Ember played after these incidents. That tells me we are fine.

Yes, a cat can totally want affection from a dog. My one cat would rub on the dog constantly. He loved her. The fact Ember rolls around and exposes her belly to what is a moral enemy is an enormous sign of trust. A huge positive sign of their relationship. I wouldn't worry, Ember must be getting what she wants even if it isn't petting. I am really proud of Stella.

I am not worried where we are. We have work to do but it is pretty minor. There are some things we need to fix but overall I think these have been wonderful updates. Let's keep building on the positives.

I should be around for a while now. So hopefully everything is back to normal. Don't worry, we are on a great path.

 

[Animal Freak]

It sounds like a love bite. Sometimes they can pinch etc but a true bite goes in and their behavior is such that it is in anger and you would tell. I agree with the other poster, a stern "no" not yelling and let her know you don't approve should help her end that. But it sounds like she just loves you and wants your attention.

That was what I thought. I've mostly gotten used to it and it doesn't hurt so much when I don't flinch. I think I'll just leave it be unless it gets too rough.

Wow, that is GREAT with Ash!! You have him engaged, terrific.

Any idea why Ember doesn't want to play with the boys or in the living room more? We want Ember to "own" the whole territory so we really want her to be comfortable all over. Maybe it is just a temporary thing, they do do things like that. Let's keep an eye on her and how she behaves etc.

Adding a morning session is great. I know it is hard with others wanting to get into the act but any play is good play. But we want that play to be all over if possible.

It sounds like Ember and Ash had a potential incident. But I am glad it ended without incident. Anytime it ends with nothing happening it is a positive. It sounds like you handled it well. Keep associating them with good things. How did they act after that incident?

I have no clue with her. She still isn't fond of playing with the boys around though she will sometimes. She did this when she was really insecure, but it stopped after she gained confidence. So I don't know. She gets a bit antsy in my room being able to hear noises, but not able to see out so I don't know why she wants to play in there. She's gotten over a lot of her insecurity, but she's still a bit timid. She takes off if the boys jump in on a game.

Your updates are great and helpful.

I am not too worried about not always playing. I don't like that she isn't playing with the boys anymore but it could be nothing. And later in your post you mention Ash and Ember playing which is GREAT. So it probably is nothing but we need to watch it.

Frost slapping Ash is odd. I have 2 twins, 7 years old. They were always together but when I added another they started be a little more like that. It was never a worry but they separated a bit. I think Frost was telling Ash just don't do what you did (or was thinking of). As long as it didn't last and it didn't change behavior in a negative way then I am not worried but keep trying to associate them with good things and limiting any negative encounters. Keep calm and confident around them and keep letting them know they are loved.

Then Frost lurched at Ember. So a bit more. It sounds like Frost is struggling with something. Confidence, or something. SO we need to watch this. Just keep giving him attention, giving him love, giving him a feeling of security. We need to watch this but it does happen AND since it didn't escalate it isn't too worrying. But it sounds like Frost is a little "off" for some reason. It sounds like Ember handled it well though.

I wonder if something happened when no one was home. Tough to know.

I am not that worried. I LOVE the fact Ash and Frost played and Ash and Ember played after these incidents. That tells me we are fine.

Yes, a cat can totally want affection from a dog. My one cat would rub on the dog constantly. He loved her. The fact Ember rolls around and exposes her belly to what is a moral enemy is an enormous sign of trust. A huge positive sign of their relationship. I wouldn't worry, Ember must be getting what she wants even if it isn't petting. I am really proud of Stella.

I am not worried where we are. We have work to do but it is pretty minor. There are some things we need to fix but overall I think these have been wonderful updates. Let's keep building on the positives.

I should be around for a while now. So hopefully everything is back to normal. Don't worry, we are on a great path.

Frost's behavior is definitely my biggest concern. I know that, overall, it wasn't major, but it's just so strange for him. Honestly, I mostly worry about it throwing us back into the cycle of fear and aggression. I don't want him making Ember insecure again and her going after Ash... And it's worse because I can't be here 24/7 to watch them.

In every other scenario, Frost seems to be the most confident of them. He just doesn't act like he has a care in the world. His favorite position is on his back with his back legs spread. I make sure I pet him when he comes over. And he went to the vet not all that long ago to get checked out due to his weight loss and hissing and he was completely healthy.

I think it's absolutely adorable watching Ember go up to the dog like that. Especially listening to her talk to Stella. It's so cute. I just wish Stella would get over her fear. She's gotten better though.

So tonight was the first night Ash bit me out of... Well anything other than playfulness. He still had some problems with behind his legs when I brush him though it had gotten much better. But today he got a bit crabby. I guess it was my fault. I have him a scratch on his lower back though not exactly right above the tail. I thought I'd be okay there since it's not too close to where it hurts. I thought wrong. It wasn't hard. His teeth grazed my hand and I got a small scratch. Then he hissed, but he didn't try to get away. Ember, of course, came running over. She was tense, but she's gotten better about not attacking so I thought it would be fine if she was able to sniff him and, at first, it didn't seem like anything was going to happen. But then she slapped him. I broke them up before it could go any further and Ash took off a short distance. That was that and nothing else came of it.

 

[calicosrspecial]

The only issue with letting love bites go is that a mistake can be made and skin can be broken and it could happen with other people and they may not respond properly to it (innocently, just not knowing what is happening). So, I tend to recommend getting a cat to stop that behavior given those risks. I have never met a cat that has responded negatively to the way I have done it ( a stern "no" and a look with some feeling of disappointment).

Some cats are more skittish and timid until they get more confident. I am not worried about how Ember is acting, it sounds pretty normal. We just need to monitor and make sure other behavior (avoiding, hiding, etc) doesn't start happening.

I know it is out of the ordinary but again it didn't lead into anything. We need to monitor but I am not too worried. Remember cats can sense our emotions so if we become more anxious or different they can pick up on that and take on those emotions and things can escalate. So try not to worry until there is something more telling and then we will work through it. They are doing great so we can't definitely handle the future. Things always happen in multiple cat households but so long as the "dust ups" are short and nothing really happens it is just there way of working things through. Just like we may raise our voice or give a "whatever" to a loved one. It is always important to see how they act after these incidents. If they revert to normal shortly after things are fine.

It really is adorable to watch a cat love a dog. Really cool. Stella will do better in the future, it just takes time to build trust.

There are nerves there in their lower back so it could be the nerves or maybe his hair etc. It was his way of saying "not there, not now". If he wanted to hurt he would have so he knew his limit. Just be careful in that area. Ember behaved well. The slap was understandable. Telling him not to do that. But it sounds like Ash responded well and the fact it didn't escalate tells me that things ended fine. It is how they work things out and communicate. Sounds normal and good overall.

I am glad things are going well. I figured they would and I know you are handling them well. Just keep doing what you are doing, it sounds like a normal multi cat household.

 

[Animal Freak]

While I understand your point, I'm not entirely worried. She's a fairly skittish cat and takes a few minutes to warm up to people as it is. So far, the only people she's bitten are my mom and me and that's still somewhat uncommon. And we don't have company over that often anyway. The only people who come over fairly often would be my dad and my sister. My dad has been bitten by Ash much harder without even flinching so my only concern would be my sister, but I typically keep an eye on her interaction with the cats anyway.

Yes, I always watch Ember's behavior. She's come a long way though. I'm quite happy with her progress though it could improve some more. I want to do whatever I can to prevent a relapse though.

I'm definitely trying to keep an eye on everything. I worry though because Frost has been showing aggression on and off for a while now and I don't know why. I'm afraid something is wrong, that he might be hitting, but I can't fix it if I don't know what it is. Or if it's just him getting older, then will it get worse with time? There's too many unknowns for my comfort. I'll do my best to stay calm and keep things normal though.

Yes, hopefully they'll all be fine together. Maybe someday Stella and Frost will figure out how to play together. It's kind of funny watching the two of them.

I don't hold anything against him. It was more of a shock than anything. I gave him some time and then stroked him from his head down his back legs and he did fine. I think it was mostly just bad timing and he might have been a bit sore from me brushing.

I am happy with where we are. I'd like to boost Ember's confidence some more and Frost's behavior is a bit concerning, but other than that I think we're in a pretty good place.

Tonight Ember was the only one who played and she did play in the living room. She seemed to really enjoy it. The boys, however, were less than impressed.

 

[ileen]

So far my cat only bites my boyfriend and me. I think he's exercising his perceived dominance. He wants to be the alpha of our pack. C calicosrspecial I would love for you to meet him and try your method. It doesn't work when we do it. You don't live in NYC, do you?

 

[calicosrspecial]

I trust your instincts to know what is best. I am not worried, you will do what is best and right.

It sounds like Ember is doing really well. I am really proud of her and you. You have done a great job with her. Usually a cat relapses because of something negative. Something that causes fear or insecurity. So given your knowledge and dedication I am not worried about a relapse.

It is always difficult to know what might be happening (with Frost). It could be discomfort. Do you think it has corresponded with Ember becoming more confident? My best guess (and I have seen this many times) is that when the new cat gets more confident and starts claiming more territory then it can cause some discomfort in the resident cats. Anytime their territory gets impacted it can cause them to be off a little. But making sure that the encounters are as positive as possible and associating them with good things (food, play, love, height) then we work through and and build their security or confidence again. We'll get through it, don't worry. So far it is pretty minor. I think as time goes by and Ember settles in more Frost will calm down. It is pretty common and normal.

Yeah, the fact Ash was fine then shortly after tells me it was pretty minor to him. It could have been his nerves or as you said bad timing.It was his way of saying "not there". Just watch that area.

I know you will be able to continue building Ember's confidence. Just keep doing what you are doing and focusing on making their interactions as positive as possible and staying calm and confident and associating them with good things (food especially). They will accept each other more and more and settle in accepting everyone.

I totally agree, you are in a very good place. I am highly confident you will continue that.

GREAT that Ember played in the living room and had fun. That will help her be more confident and be less skittish and that in turn will help the boys feel more secure. I would like to see the boys play too but maybe they were just tired. Just keep trying to get them to play.

 

[calicosrspecial]

So far my cat only bites my boyfriend and me. I think he's exercising his perceived dominance. He wants to be the alpha of our pack. C calicosrspecial I would love for you to meet him and try your method. It doesn't work when we do it. You don't live in NYC, do you?

ileen,

We should really start a new thread on this.

Do the bites draw blood? What is the cat's body language he he bites?

I am happy to help. Sadly, I am not in NYC but I think we can work through this online.

A few things. Never approach a cat from above. Only from below. Also, try not to stand above or over the cat and try to pet. Try not to initiate contact. let the cat initiate contact on his terms. Use food to associate hands with something positive. Maybe use a paper plate to start with wet food or treats to begin with. The hand will be near and something good (the food will be near). Cats take on our emotions so always try to be as calm and confident when near a cat. They can sense if we are worried, stressed about being bitten so they sense that and get more defensive and more cautious because they sense we are different and not calm and confident. And it can escalate. Cats typically do not want to bite unless they feel threatened so let's work on doing these things above and see how he responds. I am highly confident we can build trust between him and you and your boyfriend.

If you would like to start a new thread please let me know and I am happy to help as long as needed. Don't worry, we can get through this.

 

[Animal Freak]

I'm not sure about Frost. I have absolutely no idea what made it worse and, to be honest, I can't remember how Ember was acting before the last time he started acting aggressive, but I think it was his hissing and slapping at her that worsened her insecurity, leading to the issues we had between her and Ash.

I'll watch Ash closely and see how he acts. I'll try not to get bitten again too. Hopefully we can get through this and get him feeling better. He's definitely improved, but I'd like to see him even better.

I'll definitely keep working with Ember. I'm not sure what else I can do, but I'll keep trying. I'd like her to be confident before we move. We also want a big dog some day, but I'm not sure how she'll take to that. One day at a time, I guess.

I will continue trying to get them all to play as well. Sometimes they're all for it, sometimes not so much. Hopefully I'll be able to convince them to start playing consistently again.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Often it is hard to know. But even if we don't know the cause we usually can solve the issue. So far it is not too worrying so if we keep working on building confidence and trust and with time things will be fine.

Often there is a redirection that happens so not surprising that Ember and Ash got into it a bit.

Yes, I am confident you will help Ash. You have proven it already.

I think you are doing great with Ember. Just keep it up. It takes time to build trust and security but you will succeed as you have the knowledge and the desire. I have a feeling Ember will be fine with a big dog. Sounds like she likes dogs. It is always best to have as much confidence as possible because a move is disruptive. When you do move you will want to have things with theirs scents on it (bedding, cat trees, litter boxes, etc) to help ease the transition. So it smells like "their home" already with all their stuff with their scent on it in the new place. So when you do move we will super soak their scent on things to ease the transition.

Yeah, it can be tough. Today mine didn't want to play. It just happens sometimes. Using food and love and height are other things that help build confidence (as do positive encounters).

 

[Animal Freak]

It took a long time for Ember to accept the dog. I'm not sure if she likes Stella or if she's just hoping for some extra attention, but they do mostly get along now. Stella still prefers to keep her distance. Yesterday Ember walked by her and, of course, smacked the poor dog in the face with her tail. Then Ember stopped and looked back at the dog. They had a bit of a stare down before Stella flinched and Ember ended up slapping her. Stella took off and went to the other side of the couch. So it's not perfect, but I think it'll get there once Stella calms down. She just moves too quickly and too suddenly.

The last time we moved, they all did much better than I expected. Especially Ember. I was nervous moving her, but our old home was in driving distance so they were the last to go to the new house. My room was already set up and I think that helped them adjust. This time it'll be a much longer drive though. I was thinking we'd put my stuff where it would be easily accessible and then, when we got there, we'd leave them in the carriers until we got my room mostly set up and then put them in there. I'm planning a little early though. I do that a lot. I've been thinking about if an adult dog would be better or a puppy too even though that's years down the road. A puppy is smaller, but I think an adult would be calmer and easier to control and I think I kind of want to get an adult (not old, but full grown) anyway.

Ash has been difficult to get to play. Frost played some and Ember played a little in the living room, but mostly in my room.

We did have a problem last night. Nothing huge. I didn't see it. It was shortly after I gave them their dinner. All of a sudden there was hissing and spitting. I got up to go check on them and Ember was walking out of the kitchen and Ash was crouched maybe half a foot away from his bowl. At first I thought maybe Ember tried to get his food and ended up in a fight, but after I followed him into the storage room and petted him a little, I went to grab his food bowl so he could finish eating on the cat stand if he wanted, and I saw a chunk of wet cat food outside of the bowl. This made me wonder if he had started growling over his food like he does on occasion and she took offense. Nothing came of it though. I shut him in the storage room so he could eat in peace and that was it.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Cat typically don't touch something if they don't want to so Ember touching Stella with her tail was most likely intentional. Usually it is a sign of affection. It could be that Ember just want to play as well. Then Stella got defensive and it changed. It happens not too worrying.

I think as long as you try to make things as similar as possible especially via scent then a move should be less disruptive. So having the same cat trees, scratching posts, litter boxes, with the same smells it helps ease the transition.

On dogs, I don't know, I have brought adults and puppies in and have had success. I think it mostly depends on the cats confidence and the personalities. Some dog breeds may be better than others as well. All mine have been mutt rescues.

It is good that Frost played a little and Ember is playing. Do you think Ash is feeling some discomfort? It does happen (them not wanting to play for a spell). Most of the time is is really nothing. As long as he is behaving and eating etc normally then I wouldn't worry.

If you can watch them eat it may be helpful. It never hurts if you can to see how they interact. We want those moments to be as positive as possible. I am glad to hear it ended at that. No fight. Which is great. Typically when something like that happens I tend to leave the food where it is and encouraging the cat (Ash) to eat it in the same place without incident (even if I have to be there to ensure that it is a good experience). Or I distract the other cat (in this case Ember) by petting or hanging out (only if I can do it safely without being hurt).

 

[Animal Freak]

That's interesting about their tails. I wasn't aware of that. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if Ember is even aware of her tail and what she's doing with it. I couldn't tell you how many times it's nearly (or actually has) put her tail in my food or my drink. So I guess that means when they put their tails in your face, it's intentional. Nice to know.

Yes, we'll definitely bring all the same stuff and whatnot. I'll have at least one cat stand in my room as I do now. They did really well on our last move. My main concern is the drive there, but we're trying to stay somewhat close so we can visit family.

I think the cats would be better off with a calmer down. A large size might be more intimidating, but I can't see any of them taking well to a dog that ambushes them and just wants to be in their faces. Stella was fairly easy (and it still took months for them to stop attacking and a year to accept her!) since she was clingy and followed me around anyway so I just had to make sure she didn't just walk up to one of them.

I'm not sure about Ash. He's played some, but not much. I've been giving him his medication, but I don't know. I'll keep an eye on him.

Ash was really spooked afterwards and I really just wanted him to eat his fill without anyone else getting to it. He didn't even want me near him at first. He took off and got on the cat stand before he'd even think about letting me touch him. I'll try to keep them together and observe them though.

Frost has been a brat. He doesn't want to eat his own food, but he goes around eating everyone else's! I stopped giving him wet cat food because he refused to eat it, but now all of a sudden he wants it mixed!

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yes, sometimes we do wonder if they realize. Like when they see their tail and want to play with it. But they definitely know what they are doing so when they do brush your face or put their tail near your drink they are doing it on purpose much more often than not. It is there way of being affectionate.

Yeah, the drive is always tricky sadly. I am not an expert on long drives but I am sure others on the site will have good ideas.

It is tricky. It really depends on the dog's personality. A feral would walk along with our big dogs and small dogs. The dogs didn't pay attention to her so she didn't perceive them as a threat. If a dog does go after a cat (wither to play or something worse) then the cat could get frightened and then be more careful. But that really depends on the dog's personality. It is difficult to generalize. I think the key is just get them acclimated to each other and trying to make their interactions as positive as possible and build trust. But some dogs do have issues with cats sadly.

Poor Ash.

The "tell" is usually how they act after. That is a worse reaction by Ash than I envisioned. I would keep an eye on them and try to get them to eat together without incident. Ash need to build more trust. The more skittish a cat acts the more likely he will then be bullied more so we want him to feel more comfortable and have positive interactions without incidents so he can be more confident.

Hahaha, all cats are brats at times. My cats and my ferals are so finicky and fussy and bratty. Cats can get bored with their food and some like to change things up. Different flavors, hard vs wet at times. It can be frustrating, I know very well. Some cats just love what is someone else's as well.

 

[Animal Freak]

I'm definitely going to be posting on here before we move. Probably a month or two beforehand.

Of course. I would look for a calmer dog that gets along with cats. I already have an energetic one so a dog with enough energy to play with her, but will otherwise be relatively calm would be great. This is assuming I can get Stella over her dog aggression. Not sure how I'm going to tackle that.

Ash seems to react worse than he used too, but it's still short lived. He got over it fairly quickly and was fine by the time I let him back out. Even before that, they were all three in the same room though I'm not sure he even noticed Ember and he was still a bit tense. They do seem to be having more incidents lately, but none of them have actually gotten bad. They've all been minor. We nearly had an incident today and it was entirely my fault. Ash had walked up to Stella and sniffed her head and ears (and she, surprisingly, didn't flinch) before starting to walk away. You could tell he was somewhat tense, but normally those interactions end with the dog running off or Ash slapping her or both. I reached out to pet him as he was walking away and he thought it was the dog so he turned around and hissed at her. Ember came to investigate, but she seemed a little to tense for my liking so I stepped in between and had her walk to my room where I gave her a quick pet and that was it. She went out, tail held high, sniffed him, and they walked side by side into the kitchen.

That sums up Frost pretty well. He's gone back and forth with his food for a while now and has gone without eating though he hadn't lost weight. He's a strange cat indeed. Of the three of them, he's the only one who prefers the dry cat food, even temporarily.

I think they're all going on strike though. I've been struggling to get them to play. Ash started too, but it didn't last. Ember showed no interest whatsoever. I've been having problems with her in the mornings too though I can usually get her to play after a few minutes of trying.

 

[calicosrspecial]

As long as the incidents are minor and they get back to normal shortly thereafter then I wouldn't worry. We have to continue to watch it but so far it sounds like cats being cats.

Ash did well with Stella. It sounds like it went well. Yeah, Ash thought it was Stella and hissed. But overall it was handled very well. I am proud of Ash and Stella and Ember for acting so good at that time.

I have a male like that as well. He tends to love the dry food and rarely wants wet or treats or turkey or chicken. It is just him.

It does happen, sometimes the cats get lazy. Just let them choose and if they don't want to try again another time. It happens. Who knows why really but sometimes they don't want to. All we can do is our best but we can't force them, only entice them. I actually had one of my girls (who loves to play always) have no interest the other day. I have no idea why but she acts normal otherwise so I wasn't worried. Play is only one leg in the stool of confidence.

 

[Animal Freak]

Everything seems fine. It would be great if there were no incidents, but I know that's unlikely, if not impossible. I would like to limit them though. They're happening a little more often than I'd like.

I was quite happy with how they reacted. I feel bad that I messed it up, but I guess there was no real harm done. Ember and the dog are getting along well. Earlier today Ember laid on Stella and me and she was quite comfortable using the dog to put her butt on.

Frost is crazy about his treats though. He'll do just about anything for a treat. And he thinks he wants human food. He'll sit and watch me eat with Ember and Stella, but if I try to give him anything he'll sniff it for a ridiculously long time and then turn away. Him and Ash prefer their cat food, oddly enough.

I wouldn't worry about their not playing if it wasn't for Ember being overweight. She needs to be playing more, not less. Of course, I can't force her, but I'd really like to get her to play as much as possible. I do believe it's helped with her confidence too so it would be great to keep it up.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Just like with people that love each other, there are always incidents. As long as it is not vindictive or malicious and are taken for what they are and are smoothed over then it isn't to be worried too much about. But I agree, it is always better to have fewer. But incidents do happen. You can handle it and reduce them.

I agree they reacted well. Sometimes we do do things that causes an issue. But we didn't mean it so just learn and mvoe on (as you have). I LOVE to hear that Ember was laying with you two AND was up against Stella. Cats only touch something when they want to so Ember wanted to be close to Stella. FANTASTIC!!

Hahahaha, Frost. It is good that he is motivated, you can use that to build his confidence. I have a cat that is the same with human food. Seems to want it but then if I try to give him turkey or chicken he sniffs forever and has no interest. Who knows why. Hahahaha

I agree on play. A lot of benefits. Encourage her to jump on the bed, on the cat tree etc. Anything like that is helpful for exercise. Just keep doing your best on play. I know it can be hard at times.

 

[Animal Freak]

Hopefully things will continue to improve and we'll have fewer issues. I'm happy they all get along at least for the most part and Ember seems less reactive than she used to be. She's doesn't just jump into attack mode as much.

I think it's funny that Ember uses the dog basically for her back end to rest on. Stella handles it pretty well and we laid like that for a little while before Ember ran off. Ember rarely ever slaps the dog anymore. Sometimes she'll be laying on a chair and Stella will walk by. Then Ember will reach down and give her a light smack on the back. I think it's funny. Stella, not so much. It's more playful than anything, but Stella is still a bit wary of the cat.

Yes, Frost is definitely motivated. Ash is less treat motivated. He used to love his soft chew UTI treats, but now he'll only lick them like a lollipop and walk away. However, they all love Temptations so that's what they're all getting now. Even Ash loves them and has done tricks to get them.

Ember seems to enjoy jumping on my bed. That's how I usually get her to play in the morning. She's not so keen on jumping off the bed though so it gets a bit tricky after that.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I am highly confident that you will be able to continue the improvement given all the progress you already have made. You have a great way with animals. Ember has made a lot of progress because of all your love and efforts.

Ember has really taken to Stella, that is wonderful. When Ember is on a chair and reaches out to Stella that is play. Mine do that all the time. "Hey, don't walk by, play with me, give me attention". Hahahaha, it is always funny to see. Cute. Ember has built trust with Stella, Stella is still trying to get there but it sounds like she will.

Just make sure you don't give too many. It is great they are treat motivated, helps a lot in building confidence and trust and easing difficult situations.

She probably likes the comfort of the bed and the fact it is yours so she feels close to you. It is tricky, I know. Just do your best.

 

[Animal Freak]

Well, I'll do my best. I want them to have the best lives possible.

The "give me attention" part definitely fits Ember. She always once attention. Hopefully the two of them will be able to be, maybe not friends, but something close to it. If Stella would quit flinching away and suddenly taking off, there probably wouldn't be any issues between her and the cats. That's what normally sets them off.

I'm careful with treats. They normally only get two when they get brushed and then some when I do training sessions, but I've been slacking off on that. I have to watch what Ember gets of human food though. She usually only gets a few tiny bites.

It's funny to watch her hunting from the ground when it's on the bed. She'll stand up and I can see her wide eyes peering over the edge of the bed, trying to pinpoint the location of the toy.

Something rather odd happened last night. Of course, it happened when my back was turned so I didn't see it. I was getting ready to feed them and I walked past Ash to get a can of wet cat food from the pantry. Before I could even grab a can, I heard this sudden, loud hiss. I turned around to see Ash with his body curled up, tail tucked close to his body, ears tilted back and Ember standing with her head low. She (I'm pretty sure it was her, but it was a rather low noise) started making this sound between a meow and a growl. I stepped between them and locked her up in my room when I couldn't get her to back down. Then I let her out when I had given the boys their food and fed her in the dining room right outside the kitchen. She looked over at Ash several times and he looked over at her a couple of times, but that was the end of it. I supervised most of it, but I left for a moment and when I went back Ash had walked away. That had been the part I was most worried about since he had to walk by her, but she was just eating her food so it seemed like it was all back to normal.

However, this has been our worst incident in a while. It didn't end in a fight, but I'm pretty sure it would have if I hadn't intervened. Ember did not want to let him out of her sight and I could only get her to walk to the hall before I had to pick her up and carry her to prevent her from going back. I'm at a loss as to who hissed too. From what I saw, it seemed like it would have been Ember, but everything she does just seems so quiet and small that it's hard to imagine her making such a loud noise. It also seems like she makes spitting sounds more that hissing. Ash hisses more often.