That's probably the best thing to do then, if there's nothing good attached to it then why keep it?I may donate that condo. I can’t imagine coming to peace with another cat using it. None of the other trees bother me like this. Krista’s favorite tree was a hand-me-down. But Edwina, the tree’s former occupant, didn’t spend her final weeks in that tree because she couldn’t get to her favorite anymore.
It’s a convalescent condo. The only memories I have of it is that she found a place she felt comfortable and safe when she couldn’t get to her other places anymore.Not enough good memories. Does not spark joy.
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Remembering Krista
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I was already leaning that way. It took seeing another cat sniffing around in it to confirm that it is a grief trigger. It itself was about a week from being donated before she finally discovered it. It had been in the apartment since Jan 2019. It was supposed to be a convalescent condo the first time around when she had the ruptured eardrum. The cute of her finally using it has been replaced with sadness that she wasn’t using her other spaces anymore.
It even replaced her under the bookcase time. OC was also useful in sniffing out pee places that need to be cleaned better.
The experience was not as much fun as I hoped. But he provided useful feedback for me.
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My beertender friend who has been taking all my other cat-me-downs took Krista’s convalescent condo. It’s going to be Cleo’s first cat tree. I hope she enjoys it and uses the top platform that Krista never used. Driving the tree down to the taproom to hand off was nearly as difficult as anything else I’ve had to do with Krista in the last few weeks. That must be the feedback I’m looking for to reassure me that it’s the right thing to do.
Now I have a space for the new “inbox” tree that she never knew.
I still have seven trees after donating the convalescent condo. NC will not be wanting for trees.
Now I have a space for the new “inbox” tree that she never knew.
I still have seven trees after donating the convalescent condo. NC will not be wanting for trees.
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Another pudge shot I found in my Facebook. Probably 2013 or 2014.
Little colorful Buddha-like cat!
It is good that you found a new home for that tree and hopefully its new user will enjoy it.
It is a cute pic, though, of OC there.
I wasn't online yesterday because our AC went down and my rig is hard drive, not SSD, so above 85F I can't be online.
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I'm sure there's a trick with shadows and colors because her shoulders are not that wide.
She looks so buff.
"Bro, do you even lift?"
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I wish OC's play date was more joyful than it was. But seeing him trace the contours of Krista's illnesses, the pees, poos, and pukes of past struggles, and the convalescent condo that represented her last favorite spot, the one she only started using when she couldn't make it up to her others anymore, that was too much for me.Little colorful Buddha-like cat!
It is good that you found a new home for that tree and hopefully its new user will enjoy it.
It is a cute pic, though, of OC there.
I wasn't online yesterday because our AC went down and my rig is hard drive, not SSD, so above 85F I can't be online.
"Hey you! You impostor. You interloper! You don't belong there. You don't belong here."
I hope he's spoken for. He's a really sweet cat. He greets me with meows now. We no longer need to do a dance of trust. He wants scritches when he sees me. I know that he's been socialized because he pulls his punches with me. I guess I was inspecting his coat a little too long for his taste. He gave me a soft nip followed by a sweet lick like Krista used to do. "I didn't like doing that. It hurt me more than it hurt you."
He probably lives in these apartments. One of the very first places he went was the kitchen counter that contains the stove. Like he knew which counter has the crumbs. Thankfully I still keep that counter clean.
It was nice that I was able to borrow a cat for a few moments. But those moments were still too raw and unsettling. I'm glad I had the option to put him back out.
Yes. The good part is that he does look well fed and well cared for, and you've been seeing him for some time, so hopefully this is just a thoughtless household that lets him out, which is disturbing, but yeah, I know what you're saying.
I still feel like that about places and things, though my MO is different because I make it a point to jump right in and give someone else in need the love and the home I can provide--up until recently, with first Sammi and now Elvis, two territorial males. Baby Su is feral, but she's always been pretty good at having her own world in the master bedroom, a large room with multiple cat trees and lots of comfort zones. I guess I've just had to adapt a lot in my life. It's not how I'd want it to be in terms of having a perfect life, and it's only my own life, no one else's, so I'd never recommend it in any other case.
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She's giving me Marlon Brando in the "Godfather" vibes there. Does she have cotton balls in her mouth, too?
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Then there are the more selfish reasons. Having finally got my schedule and freedom to wake and sleep as I please, to come and go as I please, even to enter the kitchen without judgment and feedback, I’d give it all back for more time with Krista. But I’m not giving an inch right now for some new cat. I need to restore and renew. I need to feel the worth of that time and freedom once more. I need to redefine myself in terms of something other than Krista's caregiver. Only then can I negotiate that time and freedom once more from a place of strength. I don't want another cat rooting around the holes Krista left. I want NC cutting her own grooves into a once again smooth and solid life. One I'm choosing to share with her because I feel ready to share my life with another cat, not because I don't feel ready to live my life without one.
Also, I have always liked my girl kitties a little more than my boys. I think it's because I suspect the boys are mellowed from neutering whereas the girls retain all their attitude after spaying.
Thanks to Krista, I don't know that I ever want a non-triller again. Such a wonderful and delightful noise! Like a cat aloha!
And if you go by my Instagram follows lately, I'm leaning towards a munchkin.
I want a girl munchkin triller.
One who will let me sleep in and fixes her own meals.
Also, I have always liked my girl kitties a little more than my boys. I think it's because I suspect the boys are mellowed from neutering whereas the girls retain all their attitude after spaying.
Thanks to Krista, I don't know that I ever want a non-triller again. Such a wonderful and delightful noise! Like a cat aloha!
And if you go by my Instagram follows lately, I'm leaning towards a munchkin.
I want a girl munchkin triller.
One who will let me sleep in and fixes her own meals.
Sounds incongruous, kind of anyway, in terms of trilling and sleep. Tbh, the only one of my cats who always let me sleep in peace and fed themselves was my male - Tawny.
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I don’t get the lack of sleep and trilling connection. Krista didn’t trill all night. And if she wanted me to wake, she was doing laps on my chest with a full throated song.Sounds incongruous, kind of anyway, in terms of trilling and sleep. Tbh, the only one of my cats who always let me sleep in peace and fed themselves was my male - Tawny.
I like the trill because it was a noise other than I’m hungry. It was an aloha and a wassup. And in her sicker days, it was a barometer for how well she was feeling.
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This is sad. I have two photos of Cabbie. No videos. And my stories are just stories now. I can't really recall her anymore. I couldn't tell you what she looked like when she showed up at the door or her usual go to greeting. Did she jump in my lap, did she sit there expecting me to lift her, or was she simply content sitting in the room or on the bed? I couldn't tell you. I can't recall.
I hope I am always able to recall even the goofiest little details of Krista like her hurry-up nips, followed by apology licks when I was taking too long to warm up her meals in the water bath. Or, up until the final weeks when she wasn't making it up there anymore, whenever I started the shower, she would retire to her tree knowing that the shower meant that I was ultimately getting dressed and leaving her. I don't have nearly enough videos of Krista to fill in things like this.
It makes me sad to think that one day Krista's stories might just be stories I remember from telling them rather than the internal feelings and footage I can still so vividly recall.
I think with Krista's health issues and you losing her so very recently overshadows memories of Cabbie that will come back to you over time. The things I began to remember, and now stay with me, about Tawny and Gracie evolved over time as I ended up 'comparing' behaviors - not comparing as to who was 'better', but just making me think about things I think I had forgotten, being busy with other stuff.
Such as - Tawny was a 'come to bed at night, but crawl underneath the covers at the foot of the bed' kind of cat. Gracie was a 'going to beat you to bed so I can have the pillow and be able to knead on your head'. Feeby is a 'wait until you go to bed because I can't go alone'.
In reality, they are all just stories. But, once recalled and remembered, they are stored in your mind to resurrect whenever you want. Sometimes, if you really think about it, the stories of what you remember are more vivid and more precious that whatever might have ever been recorded.
Such as - Tawny was a 'come to bed at night, but crawl underneath the covers at the foot of the bed' kind of cat. Gracie was a 'going to beat you to bed so I can have the pillow and be able to knead on your head'. Feeby is a 'wait until you go to bed because I can't go alone'.
In reality, they are all just stories. But, once recalled and remembered, they are stored in your mind to resurrect whenever you want. Sometimes, if you really think about it, the stories of what you remember are more vivid and more precious that whatever might have ever been recorded.
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That's the gist of it. Well-formed, well-recalled memories will always be superior to photos and videos. But given my brain's tendency to scrub the details out of memories until they are nothing more than well-told stories, I'll take even the inferior substitute of external media.
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Speaking of external media,
Dodger Stadium has some new attendees.
Including this one top left:
Dodger Stadium has some new attendees.
Including this one top left:
You scrubbed out details for a reason. The beauty of it is that some of that 'scrubbing' gets 'un-scrubbed' or erased, if you will, over time.
Yay! And, there she is! Absolutely love it! Bittersweet, but still very sweet.
Oh WOW. 
There she is!!!
I have vivid memories, whether visual or in other ways, come at me at times, totally unbidden and out of context with anything that's going on in my life at the time. Usually they make me feel very emotional.
Sometimes I struggle to remember life with a loved one -- there have been SO MANY! feline, human, and other. I actually tell people that the reason I have so many losses is that I have so many loved ones, and of course, everyone leaves this place eventually. It feels very lonely and bleak a lot of the time. But then I will have a memory, or a dream, or just a feeling -- or I will just remember that THIS is only temporary and THAT will be eternal. I know we don't have the same ideology but some of this might also resonate with you.
NO ONE LOVED IS EVER LOST.
There she is!!!I have vivid memories, whether visual or in other ways, come at me at times, totally unbidden and out of context with anything that's going on in my life at the time. Usually they make me feel very emotional.
Sometimes I struggle to remember life with a loved one -- there have been SO MANY! feline, human, and other. I actually tell people that the reason I have so many losses is that I have so many loved ones, and of course, everyone leaves this place eventually. It feels very lonely and bleak a lot of the time. But then I will have a memory, or a dream, or just a feeling -- or I will just remember that THIS is only temporary and THAT will be eternal. I know we don't have the same ideology but some of this might also resonate with you.
NO ONE LOVED IS EVER LOST.
I think this might come back a bit over time.
Ah HAH, I was going to ask about the Stadium -
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Today is four weeks. It’s already been a soggy morning and the forecast calls for more desk downpours. 
This Saturday will be one calendar month. Then hopefully I’ll start counting in bigger intervals than weeks. Intervals big enough to dilute the grief.
I heard OC meowing just now. I threw on some clothes and head out the door to investigate. It seems my neighbor across the way has been feeding him some kibble. I talked with neighbor about him. I want to get a rescue involved. He’s far too friendly to let him be homeless. But at least today, I can’t string the words together.
This Saturday will be one calendar month. Then hopefully I’ll start counting in bigger intervals than weeks. Intervals big enough to dilute the grief.
I heard OC meowing just now. I threw on some clothes and head out the door to investigate. It seems my neighbor across the way has been feeding him some kibble. I talked with neighbor about him. I want to get a rescue involved. He’s far too friendly to let him be homeless. But at least today, I can’t string the words together.
