Remembering Krista

daftcat75

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Eighteen months ago, I started a thread called Krista’s Care.
Krista's Care
D9AFF7CF-0CB6-40A0-B566-483EC3113748.jpeg

It is sadly time for me to close that thread. As she has moved on to her next chapter, so must I.

I’m still too raw to offer a proper tribute. But I’ll start this thread with a highlight video Apple made from my camera roll last year—presumably out of the photos and videos I shared the most. So basically all Krista. 😻

 
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tarasgirl06

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Nineteen months ago, I started a thread called Krista’s Care.
Krista's Care
View attachment 348225

It is sadly time for me to close that thread. As she has moved on to her next chapter, so must I.

I’m still too raw to offer a proper tribute. But I’ll start this thread with a highlight video Apple made from my camera roll last year—presumably out of the photos and videos I shared the most. So basically all Krista. 😻

A wonderful video of a wondrous little girl.
How are you doing? Eating is the hardest for us. I force myself. Baby Su and Elvis, not so much all the time, so I have talks with them. They couldn't care less about the topic, but they're trying their best.
 
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daftcat75

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It’s been a very soggy morning closing the old thread and starting this new one.

Eating is awful. Cereal helps here. Sleeping is bad too. The beer with dinner helps here. And baseball to watch. I love baseball for its ability to put me to sleep. Which is sometimes frustrating when I want to watch the whole game. The Lord Of The Ring/Hobbit movies are also good here. I think it’s because they are so immersive like the best bedtime stories.

Krista‘s the only roommate I’ve known for the last 14+ years. In the last couple years, I had gotten pretty good about breaking away from her care to take time for myself. But between the pandemic and the wildfires, I’m pretty much stuck inside these lonely walls. I can’t even go for a run or a hike because of the air. I may go out for a beer at the taproom despite the air.

I need to do something besides pinball between these walls.
 

tarasgirl06

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It’s been a very soggy morning closing the old thread and starting this new one.

Eating is awful. Cereal helps here. Sleeping is bad too. The beer with dinner helps here. And baseball to watch. I love baseball for its ability to put me to sleep. Which is sometimes frustrating when I want to watch the whole game. The Lord Of The Ring/Hobbit movies are also good here. I think it’s because they are so immersive like the best bedtime stories.

Krista‘s the only roommate I’ve known for the last 14+ years. In the last couple years, I had gotten pretty good about breaking away from her care to take time for myself. But between the pandemic and the wildfires, I’m pretty much stuck inside these lonely walls. I can’t even go for a run or a hike because of the air. I may go out for a beer at the taproom despite the air.

I need to do something besides pinball between these walls.
Me, so much, too!!!
Yes, cereal. Also drinking lemonade ("my" beer, I guess) and eating fruit. My roomie made udon, which is these thick noodles, with miso broth, green onions and nori (seaweed) one night and made me eat some. It was good. I actually had enthusiasm for it, as much as for anything these past days.
Huge LOTR fan here, too and really love those films. I can't really handle The Return of the King right now because of the song and the departure. It's normally my favorite of all of the films. If you have the DVDs and have watched the extended disc, you'll know that that film was dedicated to the memory of a kid who loved the film and who passed of AIDS as it was in production. The song is dedicated to him as well. Some people run from sad content when they have had a loss but for me, it is helpful, mostly. Not all, though.
Yeah, 14+ and 17+ years -- almost a generation, in each case. So much of a lifetime. No words to really describe something so deep and wide.
There's ash all over everything outside here, and it must be a lot worse where you are. I'm fortunate because I have my weight bench and freeweights and workout routine that I made for myself. Plus, Baby Su and Elvis, and my roomies. But it's still so hard and I tell myself not to be so mopey because I don't want to make it worse for them. It's not easy.
Do you have DISH? They have some kind of deal on MLB on right now. MLB Extra Innings Package - Access Out of Market Games | DISH Just saying.
 

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It’s been a very soggy morning closing the old thread and starting this new one.

Eating is awful. Cereal helps here. Sleeping is bad too. The beer with dinner helps here. And baseball to watch. I love baseball for its ability to put me to sleep. Which is sometimes frustrating when I want to watch the whole game. The Lord Of The Ring/Hobbit movies are also good here. I think it’s because they are so immersive like the best bedtime stories.

Krista‘s the only roommate I’ve known for the last 14+ years. In the last couple years, I had gotten pretty good about breaking away from her care to take time for myself. But between the pandemic and the wildfires, I’m pretty much stuck inside these lonely walls. I can’t even go for a run or a hike because of the air. I may go out for a beer at the taproom despite the air.

I need to do something besides pinball between these walls.
Video games. If you've never been a gamer give it a try, games and good books are my go-to activities when I need to get my mind off something.
 
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daftcat75

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Video games. If you've never been a gamer give it a try, games and good books are my go-to activities when I need to get my mind off something.
I’m a software tester/programmer by trade. I nearly wrecked my career early on playing Diablo 2 back in the day. I had awful RSI. Fortunately taking a games break, I was able to reverse the burning nerve pain I was working through without having to resort to a surgery. Since then I don’t let myself play any console or computer games (no D3 or WoW or GTA or, ...) and no high impact phone games (runners and shooters.) Basically Angry Birds and PvZ are the kind of games I allow myself. Right now it’s Homescapes and Gardenscapes. They are making a killing off me. Because I’ll get stuck on a level and think, “well, let me buy the extra moves to get me past this. Because what else am I spending on during this pandemic?”
 
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Talien

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I’m a software tester/programmer by trade. I nearly wrecked my career early on playing Diablo 2 back in the day. I had awful RSI. Fortunately taking a games break, I was able to reverse the burning nerve pain I was working through without having to resort to a surgery. Since then I don’t let myself play any console or computer games (no D3 or WoW or GTA or, ...) and no high impact phone games (runners and shooters.) Basically Angry Birds and PvZ are the kind of games I allow myself. Right now it’s Homescapes and Gardenscapes. They are making a killing off me. Because I’ll get stuck on a level and think, “well, let me buy the extra moves to get me past this. Because what else am I spending on during this pandemic?”
Yeah, that would be a problem if you were hooked on it back in the day. Have you ever played D&D? That might be something you can do, probably be hard to find a group locally with what's going on but there are websites and utilities that can be used to get a group together and meet online.
 
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daftcat75

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This is the most difficult transitional time imaginable for anyone who loses a companion animal and my thoughts are with you. It is a long road "back" but eventually you will be able to follow it. :hearthrob:
I keep thinking, “the vet has her. And in a week or so, I’ll get a call to pick her up.” Except that’s only partly true. I am not ready to pick up her cremains when I get that call. Then it will be really true that she’s gone. But also it will be final and done. There shouldn’t be any more hands (or paws) holding me back from that road of recovery.

Even though I know the ashes are not her, I’m freaked out about them. I don’t want to be disrespectful and not take them. But I think having them in or near my apartment would haunt me. Like keeping her Health thread open. They’d keep me stuck.

But I wasn’t told of an option to spread them for me. So I’m thinking I’ll take the day off and take them down to the river path and scatter them into the river. It’s a suburban river that’s seen cleaner and fuller days. But it’s close when I want to be near her. And it will flow to the ocean for when I need to set her free.

And anyway, my first choice (Santa Cruz Mountains) is burning right now. I think I should stay out of the firefighters’ way. 🤦🏼‍♂️
 
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daftcat75

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Yeah, that would be a problem if you were hooked on it back in the day. Have you ever played D&D? That might be something you can do, probably be hard to find a group locally with what's going on but there are websites and utilities that can be used to get a group together and meet online.
I need less computer time when after work. That said, I do enjoy the occasional webinar and virtual meetup. My alma mater, UC Santa Cruz, is putting together some great content lately. Mostly around their efforts with coronavirus. I have app channel subscriptions to Calm (meditation and sleep stories) and Gaia (wellness and yoga). I will also take up cooking and cleaning again as both of those fell off quite a bit as Krista’s care became more demanding.

Recovery ideas, I have a few. What I’m really short on right now is motivation and focus.
 

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Right now it’s Homescapes and Gardenscapes. They are making a killing off me. Because I’ll get stuck on a level and think, “well, let me buy the extra moves to get me past this. Because what else am I spending on during this pandemic?”
I play Gardenscapes, and I think it's almost a scam. They never give you enough moves to get past a level, and the rewards are puny compared to what you've spent.

Your idea about spreading the cremains near the river is sweet and touching. She will be on your mind every time you look at the river.
 
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daftcat75

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I play Gardenscapes, and I think it's almost a scam. They never give you enough moves to get past a level, and the rewards are puny compared to what you've spent.

Your idea about spreading the cremains near the river is sweet and touching. She will be on your mind every time you look at the river.
The river is not much to look at. Most would prefer not to. But it has a run/walk/bike path next to it.

Because I’m divided about how I feel about her ashes, I’m going to select a piece of the river that I don’t normally run past. But not so far that I couldn’t make a special trip if I wanted to.
 

tarasgirl06

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The river is not much to look at. Most would prefer not to. But it has a run/walk/bike path next to it.

Because I’m divided about how I feel about her ashes, I’m going to select a piece of the river that I don’t normally run past. But not so far that I couldn’t make a special trip if I wanted to.
There's always the Best Friends option. That way her mortal remains would not be physically near you, but in a really magical, spiritually strong place.
But the river idea sounds like a really good one, too.
I know about the "the vet has her" thing. I'm having Tar's ashes brought to me by the place (which I've utilized too many times) that is doing the final arrangements. It's scheduled next Wednesday. And yeah, it's so final and so harsh. I'm still in fantasyland, too, thinking, "Well, she's not in the living room or in the corner, on the weight bench, or on the safe. But she's probably in the cat tunnel, so I won't peek in and disturb her." Clearing another space for yet another beautiful urn is wrenching. But I've done it.
 

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Everyone has their own relationships to cremains and the best thing to do is whatever is right for you. Scattering the ashes sounds like a lovely gesture which may help with some closure.

I have 21 urns in the house, 6 of my favorite cats and 1 dog are on a night stand next to the bed which I find comforting. I write down memories of my animals, along with anything really special that was theirs, and put it in a little box. The crematorium that I use gives you a paw print and some memorial cards and then I add all the sympathy cards I get from my friends. I used to keep photos as well until everything became digitized.

daftcat75 daftcat75 are you safe from the fires?
 

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Because I’m divided about how I feel about her ashes, I’m going to select a piece of the river that I don’t normally run past. But not so far that I couldn’t make a special trip if I wanted to.
Hang on to them for awhile before you decide what to do. There is no rush to do anything. Let time be your guide. :hearthrob::redheartpump:
 

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Hang on to them for awhile before you decide what to do. There is no rush to do anything. Let time be your guide. :hearthrob::redheartpump:
That's really good advice, FeebysOwner FeebysOwner .
My mom passed before my dad, and I keep seeing the dining room table here, stacked up with unread newspapers, which surrounded the box that her urn was in. From there, when my dad was in assisted living, it went into a shrine I made in their room. From there, when my dad passed, both are together at Riverside National Cemetery. I was informed by the facility handling my father's final arrangements that, as a veteran, he was eligible for a military interment and service; and my mom was eligible for interment there also. So I am very, very glad I chose to wait before deciding anything up until that time. It was the perfect way to honor them where I know their remains are as safe as possible. It's a beautiful memorial park, and I have been there several times since.
 

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Oh, no. Oh, no, daftcat75 daftcat75 . I’m so sorry. I’ve followed Krista’s Care since you created the thread, and I loved Krista’s spirit and resilience—and yours. Krista with her sweet face and big eyes. Thank you for sharing her with us; she became a member of our family, too.
 

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Hang on to them for awhile before you decide what to do. There is no rush to do anything. Let time be your guide. :hearthrob::redheartpump:
That's really good advice.
Tbh, all my cats may be 'buried' with me, in the end. I may even have their ashes mixed with mine and placed over my parents' graves. It's a long process to know what to do. Tawny died in 1991, Gracie in 2004. They will stay by my side until I know what is 'right'.
 
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daftcat75

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Tbh, all my cats may be 'buried' with me, in the end. I may even have their ashes mixed with mine and placed over my parents' graves. It's a long process to know what to do. Tawny died in 1991, Gracie in 2004. They will stay by my side until I know what is 'right'.
I’ll consider it. I’m divided between Best Friends, the river, and....??? Best Friends sounds beautiful. But when will I ever make it out there to visit her? On the other hand, it adds a place of hope and beauty to my bucket list. And I’m sure a wonderful charity to my giving basket. The river is not a first choice. But it’s something I could make quickly if I chicken out about retaining her ashes before I can make other arrangements. I was having too much hangup and hesitation over calling Best Friends that I assumed I would get the call from my vet before I made other arrangements.
 
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