- Joined
- Apr 8, 2016
- Messages
- 5,948
- Purraise
- 14,439
Yep, I know that feeling.People would actually do that to their furry family???!
Guilt if it's caused by the stress from the Feral I had to bring in.
Guilt for being too passive when telling the vet about his poop all these years and not pushing even though the blood work came back fine.
Did I do this? Did I fail to see something?
He jumped the gate a few months ago - first time in his life and looked a bit hurt. I waited and after a day or two he appeared fine. Did he / does he have an internal injury from that and I didn't take it serious?
He has a plastic water fountain - I clean it weekly / bi-weekly depending on how it appears. Should I have done it more? Is this bacteria build up in his system because of that? (BTW I noticed cleaning it tonight the plastic is slightly degrading - I tossed it and ordered him a drink well 360 that is stainless steel - there is plastic on the top - but I think that should be okay.)
Should I have kept trying with the food - even though he was starving himself. Did I give up too soon changing it?
Am I feeding him too much Salmon with his food and treats?
Guilt - loads of guilt.
I will try to curb that. I had to stay outside for a bit tonight and cry and get centered before I came in to see him. Trying hard to be zen for the babies.
Really though I cannot thank you guys/gals enough. I am so very very grateful.
We have a few that either upset the balance (temporarily) or just came to us with the worlds shittiest luck.
I don't think you should be feeling guilty, but I kind of understand the feeling of your heart, when your head tells you you're doing nothing wrong.
I think about our medical nightmare cat, with IBD, Asthma, God knows what else and the little signs I missed. Random diarrhea, lots of coughing whenever he would run around, and stuff like that.
Dogs are usually pretty good at hiding pain when they don't feel good. But cats blow them out of the water if you compare them. When you're tough old hunting dog is screaming in pain over something, your cat that's experiencing the same thing is sitting there like "whatever, bruh, it's good."
That's one thing that absolutely sucks about cats, even though it's cool how tough they are. Any time they feel real pain, or discomfort, they hide it so well that by the time you know something isn't quite right, the problem is advanced. A GOOD vet won't blame you for this. Actually, one of our vets is who put this in my head.
Keep your chin up. You're doing fine. Better than fine IMO. You're stressed, you're frustrated a little but you've got plenty going on and that's understandable.
If you need to go over the "what if"s in your mind ("what if I did this, what if that jump hurt him, etc."), do it....then let it go as best you can. And then tell yourself "this is a learning thing. They're teachers. I'm the student. I can learn and they can help me."
Then imagine some nice person on TCS said what you just posted, and imagine your response to them.
Would you berate them and fill them full of guilt, or would you say "you clean their water fountain that often? You worry over his diet, his happiness, his general over all health? I think you're doing fine!"?
You'd probably give them a virtual hug () and would help them with support and ideas that have helped you in the past. Guilt is exhausting. Do the best you can to deal with it, then let it go. If you're exhausted, it will be even more tiring to do what's needed to help him.
You both deserve better than that, am I right?