Aggressive Resident - It Just Got Real. No Idea How To Help Him.

Elfilou

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As a dog and horse person, I have to add to the "dogs need to walked" idea (which is very true.)
Most dogs need to be walked.
Some dogs need to be ran.
Some need to be worked (physical and mental) in order to be happy.
This is the difference between an older Basset Hound and a 1 year old Border Collie or a young Belgian Malinois living in a small home with a very non-active person.
Some horses need a nice slow exercise once or twice a week and time to graze on pasture, and some horses need to be worked until they can hardly catch their breath. If sweat isn't rolling off them, you need to work them more because this is what they were born to do. Move, run, be active. This is the difference between your old grade mare and your young Thoroughbred.
Never really thought about it much but I suppose some cats are like this. An elderly Persian (my guess) will need less than a 6 month old Bengal (or snowshow, that may murder you while you sleep. :lol: Just joking but aren't I kind of right, @1CatOverTheLine ?) But I wonder if this guy isn't one of those rare natural active leader types that needs to be ran and needs to hunt things on strings until he's content. :dunno: I don't know.
Even if I was a vet (which I'm not) and even if I were there with you right now (which I'm not), I find Charlie's situation interesting enough to want to know what happens. Hoping for good news.
Oh yeah you're very right! Every cat is a case on its own, but as a general rule I'd say try 15 minutes every day and go from there. Some cats will fully engage and 15 minutes won't be enough, some don't feel like it every day but most days - some cats just track with their heads and watch the prey forever until finally pouncing after 10 minutes. Some elderly cats don't pounce at all and just track the prey or are perfectly content watching the youngsters play. Every cat is different, but we can all agree we're dealing with predators who have an innate drive to kill stuff - if they're allowed all day long. It's not just a physical need, it's mental too.

I feel bad for him too. Really bad. The last thing I want is to save the other kitties and have something bad befall him as a result.

When I had to bring in the outside kitties I can fully admit I was concerned the behavior would worsen - I hoped if I did things slow - followed what I should etc be would be okay.
Thanks for your replies and I don't blame you at all for taking in the other cats. I can feel you want the best for all of them and I admire that. I will definitely try to keep up and help with any problems you run into along the way.

You mentioned him being picky or disinterested with toys and that is definitely a struggle. My Elf gets very easily bored with toys. I got a "Tabby Tiger" rod, it comes with a feather toy but you can take the feather toy off and switch it up. For Elfie I've noticed she will only go for very small ground prey. A rat-sized thing she will go after but if it's any bigger she won't. The smaller the better. My other cat liked his prey a little bigger and he just, in general, isn't as picky with the toys. Elfie needs everything to be as realistic as possible and if I pull out the same toy more than twice a week she will get bored with it very quick.

Anyway. I buy one new toy attachment for the Tabby Tiger rod maybe once a month or once every two months so it doesn't get too expensive. I'm not sure where you can buy all of these things in the US but I buy from PurrfectDesign in Belgium
 

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lol, it is funny! I have read that someone on this site used Lazarus Naturals - which isn't to say that I'm promoting them, but it is interesting to see that they provide certificates of analysis...

Oh Charlie baby meezer!!! :loveeyes:

Other than a diffuser (thunderease, sentry, maybe comfort zone which I found works with my boy better than feliway) I'm not sure.

Would a probiotic help? Tummyworks, or animal essentials plant enzymes and probiotics.

a metal can half filled with coins given a really hard shake? It's a sound that isn't associated with you like the clapping hands...

C'mon, Charlie - ease up and let that meezer personality get more :sunshine: , and let your mama work with you and help you :petcat::gingercat:
I've been stewing on this all day on and off, and I think your suggestion of a shake can is a really good one and you make a good point about not associating it with hands, etc.
I keep thinking this through and if F FeralHearts , if you do use a sound interrupter, with Charlie's intensity, be absolutely sure your timing is perfect. If he's 100% fixated on her, this might backfire, and the sound might send him into an attack mode vs. interrupting.
The LAST thing you want is him associating a cat he already doesn't like with some loud noise.
Most cats (and most dogs) respond to this interrupter by being interrupted (and re-directed) but a few of the more intense dogs I know don't. If they're fixated on another dog, and the owner tries to interrupt with noise or pulling on their collar, it backfires and they lunge.
Just another thought to consider.
 
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FeralHearts

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I apologize for the late reply here. It's been a crazy week. Extra hours at work and more company. So it's been a little hectic, but I wanted to get on, even for a few minutes tonight to sincerely thank you all for all the help and feedback. XOXO

I will try to get some time tomorrow to post back in full to you all. Fair warning - yup - probably be a novel again. Sorrryyyy *hangs head*

Now with the company this week - not one attack. Not one show of aggression to anyone. Charlie did hide a lot as the amount of people made him - and the other kitties - a bit nervous.

My friend that he attacked is coming back for the night this Thursday - so we'll see how that goes. I did want to make a quick comment on this though:


I can see that Charlie has health issues and I feel that they are a part of the puzzle. The allergy thing is nudging me. The lip, the rippling skin, the chasing the butt and just flipping out. Ever had an allergic reaction? I have. A sudden violent and burning itch, swelling of the lip, hives, stomach problems. Hmmmm. Anything different In his food or the house ( furniture, toys, cleaning fluids, bug spray , flea treatments, feliway, clothes washing powder,perfumed items, potpourri, soap, even medications you take that can be emitted through your skin? ) that was not there before the majority of his new symptoms? Think hard about that.
.
I've wracked my brains and come up with next to nothing. Well - almost nothing.

Medication: I'm on nothing. I'm one of the lucky one *knock on wood* that have been fortunate enough not to suffer anything bad enough to require permanent medical assistance. Low Vit b12 - so I take a supplement. I've had to have rabies shots the last 3 months, and the last 6 months my Dr decided I needed hepatitis A and B shots as I had no immunity at all for it. My last one was Monday. No adverse reaction from Charlie.

My friend however has Multiple Sclerosis. Her's is a mild form thankfully, for now, however, she's been on some new heavy duty medicine that when first administered, she had to stay at the hospital for the day and be monitored. She's literally a walking pharmacy. Pain meds etc. The first attack on her we think was right around the time she started the new meds. That seems to be the only change. I will think harder though.

Charlie does have a VERY acute sense of smell. It's almost supernatural in nature. It's why I've had such a hard time changing his food. I've put less than a 1/8 of a tsp and he's noticed.

So I wonder if the change in her meds is one thing that's set him off? At least on her as bad as he has.

W.L and Braveheart both go back to the vet for their final shots of the 1st. The vet, one Charlie hasn't seen before, is going to talk to me about his issues and make arrangements to bring him in for a third opinion. We'll go over what she needs me to do, bring her, rough estimate of costs etc. and we'll get an appointment set for him. I have a good feeling we are going to find some answers this time. I've reviewed his blood work and there is some oddness - though most in the Normal ranges - I have a couple of hmmms about it.

XOXOX thank you all so much. Hopefully post the rest tomorrow. I hope everyone and their babies has been well.
 

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Warning! Super long post but for a reason. I gotta say, the new medicines coinciding with the worst attack make me think there is a strong chance of a connection. Even if it isn’t the drugs it could be some fluctuation in her condition that the cat senses. You do know that there are animals who pick up on many conditions such as seizures. I know that my cats know when something is different with me. Ever had an animal comfort you when you were sad? Sick in bed? My cat, Mackie gets very worried if I lay down during the day. A heating pad across my head for a headache and he will go nuts trying to pull it from my face. I had a dog that stayed laying beside me when I got a bad back injury and could not move. I was told that he kept me warm when I went into shock. He also pulled me to a phone. I am concerned for Charlie’s health too but I think this is ,possibly ,part of the puzzle. Medicine is put out through our pores. It could be on her, you, clothing, furniture, even in the air.
Did any of this start after you started any of your shots? You would not necessarily see a reaction right away. It could take time for it to transfer to him through any of the above mentioned routes. I would keep a calender of all medications and each time he has a reaction you find odd. There might be specific time lapse of a week or a few days that would not seem connected unless it could be recorded for comparison with each shot, drug dose, etc.
I have two weird examples for you of creatures sensing things that I witnessed myself.
The first was my daughter who was unable to speak. She had a school teacher she adored for a year. Had her a second year but this time started reacting oddly. She would either cry hysterically until the school had me come get her. As soon as we left the school my daughter was fine. The second reaction came a little later. Sarah started getting violently ill at school. Again, as soon as we left, she was fine. You can imagine all that went through my mind. I was close to pulling her out of school when her teacher was diagnosed with cancer. The teacher left and another teacher took over. My daughter was fine the rest of the year. The following year the teacher returned and the cancer had been successfully treated. My daughter adored her and we didn’t have any further incidences of hysterical crying or weird illness. Coincidence? I don’t think so and neither did the school staff.
Second example was a dog who loved my neighbor. This dog liked to greet with a lick. I discouraged that but he always licked this particular neighbor. It was mostly on weekends that we ran into the neighbor. I quickly noticed the dog acting nuts afterwards. I made a huge effort to keep the dog pulled away from them by his leash but he would literally pull me to my knees to get to them to lick them. I finally just quit taking the dog out when I saw them. The worst of this is that the dog broke out a window to get to the neighbor one day. End of story is that they were doing crack cocaine and had gotten my dog hooked through licking the residue from their pores. It was many long months before the dog began to act normal. He was never really the same after that and suffered many health issues. Emotional ones too. The neighbor died from the drug use. You just never know what can be absorbed, sensed or injested without us being aware. Think and keep notes!
I am so sorry about your shots and your friend having to deal with MS and the medicines. Okay detective! Let us know what you find out! Good luck!
 
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Jcatbird Jcatbird Furballsmom Furballsmom 1 bruce 1 1 bruce 1 Elfilou Elfilou basschick basschick Again I apologize for not being able to fully reply to you all in full - it's coming. :-) Brace your eyes for that later! (I'm almost done writing that.)

In the meantime here's the update of last night:

We had a seriously violent attack again last night. The same time and location in the home as last time. (And the attempted minor one before that.)My heart breaks for Charlie.

Since he hasn't reacted this way with other guests, I have to conclude that it's something surrounding her. Now while he can get violent with me on occasion - it's never ben like this. Had his nails not been trimmed up he'd have taken out a chunk of my cheek last night - and possibly an eye.

She arrived around 9 pm. (last time it was a few hours earlier) Charlie was a bit standoffish but appeared okay. Everything was fine until around 11 when we were getting ready for bed. He followed her up the stairs to the spare room and was attacking her in there a bit - and when she stepped out in the hall - BOOM!
That's the exact location and time period as last time and the minor time before that.

There was no stopping him. We tried having her to back down, saying "No!" with purpose but nothing that might frighten him. He appeared scared of her when she said "No!" but he still went for blood. It's interesting to note that when I do the "No!"he doesn't react frighten. This cat is focused when he is like this. Serious focus. He bit right through her jeans and drew blood. Small - but still.

He went downstairs to Mia - and I had to bring him back upstairs - I picked him up he hissed at me and punched me in the face with his claws twice. It was like boxing - with a 1,2 in face. A quick left / right. When I got him to the kitchen he started to walk into the livingroom hissing and angry.

He had to spend the night locked in my room with me to be sure everyone was safe.

When he was in my room. He looked - oddly calm and soft and he was a good kitty all night. In the morning he rubbed against me - scented me and the pillows. My "perfect" Charlie.

Now this kind of level of violence is not normal for him. Does he attack my leg sometimes as he did her - yes. This bad - no - not even close. Hissing and carrying on - no. It's what he does to me but extremely intensified. It even takes me a-back and I'm used to him turning on me.
 

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i'm so sorry you all had to go through this :(

and it does sound like he's terrified of her, and cats defend themselves if they can't escape what they're afraid of. to him, the scary person is in his territory, so he can't get away - he must protect himself.

if she comes over again - and if i were she, i wouldn't considering the situation - can charlie stay in your room for the evening?
 
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i'm so sorry you all had to go through this :(

and it does sound like he's terrified of her, and cats defend themselves if they can't escape what they're afraid of. to him, the scary person is in his territory, so he can't get away - he must protect himself.

if she comes over again - and if i were she, i wouldn't considering the situation - can charlie stay in your room for the evening?
Thank you. I feel beyond awful right now. I'm asking an awful lot from Charlie, an only child, who has behavior and jealousy issues to start with and now in less than four months he's got 3 feral cats and only one he's been introduced too and it's not gone great with Mia at all. Now two more that I know he can smell and senses they are there.

I'm stupid or crazy thinking I could manage - but I couldn't let them die either.

It's been the worst timing for all this. Truthfully - I feel sick about it. I have no idea how to make this not fail.

I feel bad for the other cats as they are stuck in safe areas. I'm taking a week off work next week to get some stuff done and try to make headway resolving this. (I was prepping for the house rewire and air conditioning/heater replacement just before all this went crazy.) So unfair to them all.

My friend will have to come in November for a trial. 8 days. Long story short - nasty, nasty divorce. I don't think it's a good idea to have her stay for 8 days. Charlies not going to manage that and I can't ask that kitty to do that. Not with everything else he's enduring. If she needs to come for a day - I can put him in my room - but that's not fair to him as he hates being alone and hates being shut in or any door in the house shut. So I'm with you. I think she'll have to stay away for now.

The fear thing - I can see that but why on earth would he follow her? If I'm scared - I steer clear. Why on earth would he follow her and attack after. Silly kitty!
 

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It seems to be an issue with her. So sorry but I gotta say, she should stay away from Charlie if she can’t get through to him. Does she wear perfume? Other scented things? Have her stop wearing them when she comes there. Some contain pheromones that could trigger him. It also could be anything emitted through her skin or clothes. Hate to even bring this up but, has she ever done anything, even accidently to intimidate, scare or hurt him? Has he ever seen her argue loudly or , even playfully, hit you? all these things could be read by him as dangerous. He may be trying to tell you this and defend himself or you. If she must come there then you have two choices, one is try to get Charlie to understand that she is good. Can she feed him, give him treats etc. to try to win him over? Has she ever been alone with Charlie without you? Curious about that and how he would react. The second optioin is to keep them separated. The one two punch he gave you was just to inform you that you were stopping him from what he thought he needed to do. I also think that he wants her to stay away from you, in particular ,since he attacks her by the room you share with him. This cat is totally trying to tell you something. I strongly advise you to pay attention to him. His focus is on her for some unknown reason. He isn’t nuts, he is reacting this way for a reason. Trust your cat and figure out the trigger. If it isn’t a physical illness with him then it is her scent, a protective instinct on his part or something about her that Charlie does not trust. Animals have a sensitive sense of smell and amazing instincts. They often know things long before we do. You said that he was scared when she said no but it did not stop the event. I think he really is scared of her. You could try letting him see you with her through a window where he cannot smell her. If he reacts to closeness or horsing around then it might clue you in a little more. Please keep posting. Did you ask the vet about this?
 

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Our texts crossed I think. He is following her to make sure of where that dangerous person is. As he would if there were a snake or dog in the yard. Preparing for any needed action. ( not comparing her to a snake or a dog Just using examples) He is stalking her. She is going through a nasty divorce? Another clue. Her emotions are probably high. He will know that. Until things are more settled I agree that eight days would be a nightmare for all. If she is there for any time then I suggest she carry a heavy sheet of cardboard or something to use as a wall between her and Charlie. She should NOT push it towards him. It should simply be a barrier.
You have had an awful lot going on in a short time. Charlie needs some quiet time. You too probably. Stress is a huge factor in life. Cats react to theirs and that of the people around them If you are going to have repair work ongoing, that will add another layer. Time for some chilling out and settling your little family. Your priority must be in your home for a little while. I still think things will work out. Just got to be patient. I have had a feral come after me before. She actually punched me and I finally named her Viscious. She was protecting kittens. She is now living inside with me and her new name is Flowers. She will still get scared and hiss or a little nip but she improves daily. She has only been in a few weeks. She is most likely to react if another person comes in but even that is getting better. We have had time to establish quiet and get used to other cats coming in. I think if everything was piled on her at once she would still be Viscious instead of Flowers. She is actually a very sweet cat. Don’t give up or get too down. Just hold on and don’t rush things. Baby steps.
 
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FeralHearts

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It seems to be an issue with her. So sorry but I gotta say, she should stay away from Charlie if she can’t get through to him. Does she wear perfume? Other scented things? Have her stop wearing them when she comes there. Some contain pheromones that could trigger him. It also could be anything emitted through her skin or clothes.
Unfortunately I agree. I'm expecting a lot of him right now and she seems to be the one thing too much. I can't put him through that. It's not fair to him. If it was only her that we had to contend with - sure - we could spend the time focusing - but it's not. It's all these invaders in his space too. This poor guy is being pushed to his limits.

She does wear perfume. Same one she's always worn. Oddly enough - I mentioned that to her this morning (as part of our Charlie talk) as it was pretty powerfully put on last night and today. (She's trying to do things to cover up her breath and such from the meds.) I don't wear perfume normally - but - I deliberately put some on today (not her kind) to see if he reacted. Nadda. As you pointed out - could be her brand.

Hate to even bring this up but, has she ever done anything, even accidently to intimidate, scare or hurt him? Has he ever seen her argue loudly or , even playfully, hit you? all these things could be read by him as dangerous. He may be trying to tell you this and defend himself or you.
I understand, but, in saying that the only way to really get help for anything is to put it all out there - the good, the bad, the ugly. It's why my posts are so long. It does no good to give someone half the information or to not address things if they need to be.

That being said - there was a time a couple of years back when she was at her worst that I suspected her daughter hurt Charlie. It was right after she left her husband. Her daughter is quite intelligent but emotionally immature and rather spoiled - as all children should be. She's coddled a lot and her Mom is very protective of her - again - as it should be.

Charlie is not an easy cat. I let people know this so they don't expect more from him than what he can give. He can be cuddly and loving and he can be a total jerk the next second.

Her Mom and I would be outside talking back then as we didn't want her to hear details about the separation of her family - kids don't need that burden. Charlie was particularly acting up that day - but kids being kids - and she LOVES cat - she pushed him to play. When they left Charlie had a limp. I called and asked if Charlie had fallen, if she noticed anything unusual - her daughter and her said no... but I could hear guilt. I watched him for a couple of days and he seemed to mend up. I've never really trusted the daughter alone with Charlie since. She was only 8/9 at the time.

Whether she lashed out at him, accidentally manhandled him, or Charlie accidentally did something (maybe trying to escape from her) - I don't know - but I've always had it in the back of my mind.

I've never witnessed anything nasty towards him by either of them though. They both like cats. I also understand the stress at that time period for both were at a high so much I actually recommended therapy.

If the daughter comes for a visit with her mom, which is very rare, Charlie keeps his distance a lot more than he used to.

If she must come there then you have two choices, one is try to get Charlie to understand that she is good. Can she feed him, give him treats etc. to try to win him over? Has she ever been alone with Charlie without you? Curious about that and how he would react. The second optioin is to keep them separated.
Bribery probably won't work with Charlie.

She has been alone with him before these attacks started - not for long periods, but she's never mentioned any issues.

The one two punch he gave you was just to inform you that you were stopping him from what he thought he needed to do.
I was wondering what that was all about. He's never done that before and I was like "what the helk!"

I also think that he wants her to stay away from you, in particular ,since he attacks her by the room you share with him. This cat is totally trying to tell you something. I strongly advise you to pay attention to him. His focus is on her for some unknown reason. He isn’t nuts, he is reacting this way for a reason. Trust your cat and figure out the trigger. If it isn’t a physical illness with him then it is her scent, a protective instinct on his part or something about her that Charlie does not trust. Animals have a sensitive sense of smell and amazing instincts. They often know things long before we do. You said that he was scared when she said no but it did not stop the event. I think he really is scared of her. You could try letting him see you with her through a window where he cannot smell her. If he reacts to closeness or horsing around then it might clue you in a little more. Please keep posting. Did you ask the vet about this?
No, that's true - he's not nuts. Misunderstood :-)

I hate saying this: She is not an easy person to be friends with.


Our texts crossed I think. He is following her to make sure of where that dangerous person is. As he would if there were a snake or dog in the yard. Preparing for any needed action. ( not comparing her to a snake or a dog Just using examples) He is stalking her. She is going through a nasty divorce? Another clue. Her emotions are probably high. He will know that. Until things are more settled I agree that eight days would be a nightmare for all. If she is there for any time then I suggest she carry a heavy sheet of cardboard or something to use as a wall between her and Charlie. She should NOT push it towards him. It should simply be a barrier.
Yes lol they did cross!

Her emotions are over the top right now. They have been for a couple of years as a result of the divorce. That 8 day court battle is to finalize things. That pretty much tells you how nasty and expensive it's been. Custody is involved.


Until things are more settled I agree that eight days would be a nightmare for all. If she is there for any time then I suggest she carry a heavy sheet of cardboard or something to use as a wall between her and Charlie. She should NOT push it towards him. It should simply be a barrier.
If she needs to pop by, or stay one night, I'll do the cardboard thing and let her know how to work with it. I think even one night might be too much for Charlie though and I have to think of him first right now.


You have had an awful lot going on in a short time. Charlie needs some quiet time. You too probably. Stress is a huge factor in life. Cats react to theirs and that of the people around them If you are going to have repair work ongoing, that will add another layer. Time for some chilling out and settling your little family. Your priority must be in your home for a little while. I still think things will work out. Just got to be patient.
LOl yup - all this is really bad timing. I can't put off the rewiring in the spring though, after that kitchen then new air conditioning and heater. (Looking forward to that as I'm getting a HEPA filter for Charlie! I'm hoping that helps with his Asthma.). Wish I could put it off a bit longer though. Long story short- whoever wired this house - did it weird. I'm cooking on a hotplate, fridge and stove are working but I can't hold off past spring. Anything unsafe has been removed. So we are at least safe, warm and have a roof over our heads.

I laugh as I recognize it's all temporary inconveniences. Some people have way less than what I'm working with currently - so all and all - I'm blessed. My stress is pretty good because I can see it as being temporary.

With the cats - if I start finding myself coming unhinged from worry, or being feeling overwhelmed - or want to cry - I go for a walk or sit outside to keep it away from them. I know how important it is for me to be calm if I'm going to help them adjust.

Chill out time is definitely in order though.

In the end I want them healthy, happy and content. Right now I feel like I'm their prison guard. They aren't happy. It makes me so sad but I know it's time. You are right - time and patience.


I have had a feral come after me before. She actually punched me and I finally named her Viscious. She was protecting kittens. She is now living inside with me and her new name is Flowers. She will still get scared and hiss or a little nip but she improves daily. She has only been in a few weeks. She is most likely to react if another person comes in but even that is getting better. We have had time to establish quiet and get used to other cats coming in. I think if everything was piled on her at once she would still be Viscious instead of Flowers. She is actually a very sweet cat. Don’t give up or get too down. Just hold on and don’t rush things. Baby steps.
LOL this boxing thing is a cat thing then! LMAO! Oh wow.

A few weeks and already improving - I think you area cat whisperer. That is so awesome!!!!

I love her new name.

I can't give up - but - I do get down about it. Especially when I see them unhappy. It breaks my heart as they deserve a good life.

Baby steps. Yes. Baby steps.

Thank you XO
 
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Wait, wait, please don't get down about things!
You have accomplished SO much, and you have kitties that are inside, safe, fed, warm against the coming weather (assuming you live where that is an issue), and Charlie aside (bless his fiery feisty protective big heart) the cats, except for some of the emotional overflow stuff which they move on from, are ok.
If I'm reading this correctly you've determined that the woman won't be staying with you. I didn't know about the nasty divorce, but that means she is carrying a huge load of negative emotions.
My opinion in support of you :) is that you and your furbabies, especially Charlie, need a break from all that.
 

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charlie can spend most of her next visit in your room... with you. you can spend at least half of the visit in there with a laptop or a book, or at least spend 20 minutes at a time. it's better than having charlie attack your friend again!!!
 
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Yeah those were not fun at all. My own fault so I sucked it up. I have to say... not that I had the option... but if you ever need a needle and their is a choice between your bottom or thigh - take the butt! No pain. After about 45 minutes, the ones in the thigh were like I had been beaten.

I'm with Jcatbird Jcatbird and you - smart people that you are to think of this !!

By the way, all my good thoughts to your friend! and for you, and W.L. and Braveheart :rock:
I can't take any credit for that - that was all Jcatbird Jcatbird . :-)

Thank you :-) The thought are very welcomed and appreciated!


Did you ask the vet about this?
White Label and Braveheart go to the vet on Monday. Mia doesn't need to go back anymore :-) I do have to do check in's about her weight as she's gained some from being an inactive slug and is a little chunky atm. She's doing good though.

At the appointment the vet wants to set an appointment to see Charlie and go over costs for testing. I'll bring this up to her too. :-)

Wait, wait, please don't get down about things!
You have accomplished SO much, and you have kitties that are inside, safe, fed, warm against the coming weather (assuming you live where that is an issue), and Charlie aside (bless his fiery feisty protective big heart) the cats, except for some of the emotional overflow stuff which they move on from, are ok.
If I'm reading this correctly you've determined that the woman won't be staying with you. I didn't know about the nasty divorce, but that means she is carrying a huge load of negative emotions.
My opinion in support of you :) is that you and your furbabies, especially Charlie, need a break from all that.
I'm trying - it's hard sometimes when I see them bored or sad. It's not easy for them.

True! They are safe, fed, warm and generally healthy - and yes - here - winter comes with a vengeance. I live by the N.Y state boarder in Ontario. Cold, wet EVIL snow.

Yes, I think it's a bad idea to have her stay right now. If 3 hours lunges him to that - 8 days is going to make him sick and far to stressed.

I didn't mention the divorce as she's been like this for a number of years and he'd never reacted poorly - but - right now as it's coming close to a resolution for her - her stressed is no doubt higher.

I agree - we need some peace together.

charlie can spend most of her next visit in your room... with you. you can spend at least half of the visit in there with a laptop or a book, or at least spend 20 minutes at a time. it's better than having charlie attack your friend again!!!
If she has to stay for a day - I'm with you. I might even - depending on how this week goes - be able to block him downstairs with Mia so he would have extra company and go down often to play with them and give them treats.

I'm still leaning towards a not at all though. Not the way he's be responding to her.
 

Furballsmom

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I'm still leaning towards a not at all though.
Me too.
Hang in there, and I'm sending tons of peaceful, chamomile-tea and gentle beautiful music filled thoughts to you and the kitties (from the bags no loose leaf, up to three cooled tablespoons a couple times a day for a stressed cat :) )
 

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Sounds like puzzle pieces may be coming together and the stress factor will be over for her and everyone involved very soon. That will be great. Take a deep breath. I know you tend to hold it so no more of that! Relax and know that things settle. Otherwise we are back to the cats picking you up off the floor again! :thud::catlove: ;) A little tea for you might help too!
 
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Back from the Vet. BraveHeart had a meltdown and it became to stressful and dangerous for both of us to try anymore to get her into a carrier - so White Label went alone. Her lungs are still clear and she's doing awesome!

Braveheart has been given some sedatives and another appointment on the 15th. We'll try again.

Charlie has an appointment the end of Oct. I have to try to get him in with a full bladder. We are starting with his history, bloodwork (I'll bring his last two results in as well) and urinalysis. Everyone so far is leaning towards a food allergy and if that turns out to be the case - it'll be a long, LONG road to get him changed. I've been down this road more than once already so at least I know what to expect. Small blessings.


*Nods* as much as I want to provide her a safe, quiet place to stay while she's enduring that kind of stress - I can't this time.

Me too.
Hang in there, and I'm sending tons of peaceful, chamomile-tea and gentle beautiful music filled thoughts to you and the kitties (from the bags no loose leaf, up to three cooled tablespoons a couple times a day for a stressed cat :) )
Thank you! And OHHHHH YESSS - thank you for the reminder about the tea! "Oh Charlieeeeeeeee come get some tea!"

Sounds like puzzle pieces may be coming together and the stress factor will be over for her and everyone involved very soon. That will be great. Take a deep breath. I know you tend to hold it so no more of that! Relax and know that things settle. Otherwise we are back to the cats picking you up off the floor again! :thud::catlove: ;) A little tea for you might help too!
Yes, soon the stress will be gone or at least greatly reduced.

*takes a deep breath and remembers to exhale.*

Yes, we don't want them trying that stunt again. I had paw mark on my cheek for days!

PS - Today I will be throwing a blanket in each room with respective cats scents and see how it goes. (Not until later though as BraveHeart is still off the charts upset.) The socks did nadda this time around. I'm having to go with something more powerful.
 

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I remember I was overnight cat-sitting for someone some time ago, and was playing with one of the two cats (the second, shy one, ended up sleeping on me. I thought that was so sweet :)).

Anyway, Mr Dominant Alpha-type got irritated with me (I was admittedly being a bit of a smarty), and I got a no-claws SMACK on my hand.

It's really impressive how much oomph they can get into their swing and hit LOL we oughta sign 'em up for baseball tryouts :lol:
 
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