Woohoo, you-all rock!!
Not so fast...Woohoo, you-all rock!!
Not surprising. Reassure him by saying something like "it's ok". If Indy is not focused on him or responding or getting more aggressive then I wouldn't worry. You could also just pull the sheet down and end the visual.Not so fast...
Twice today, I have left Duncan's side, and I've gone to pick up Indy's things to move him back in the bathroom. Duncan has been less than pleased, and he's hissed so many times from the other side of the fence.
So how to I keep that from happening? Obviously, I can't just spend time with Duncan, though the bulk of my time is spent with him.
I'm glad you think everything is on track because I'm starting to doubt.Not surprising. Reassure him by saying something like "it's ok". If Indy is not focused on him or responding or getting more aggressive then I wouldn't worry. You could also just pull the sheet down and end the visual.
Then after when you return to Duncan reassure him that all is ok and normal.
As long as it isn't escalating into negativity I wouldn't worry too much. And if Indy is not showing any defensiveness etc then I think it is fine. Of course we want to get where Duncan doesn't feel the need to hiss (which he will) but it is part of the process and expected.
Will be interesting to see how Duncan responds to you reassuring him when you are with Indy.
Let me know how it goes. Don't worry, everything is on track.
I absolutely think everything is on track, expected, and normal (actually you are ahead of schedule with better results). No doubt in my mind.I'm glad you think everything is on track because I'm starting to doubt.
We tried again this morning, and it was all over the place.
-Duncan completely ignored Indy
-Duncan watched Indy with curiosity
-Duncan hissed, took swipes, and lunged at the gates
-Duncan, standing next to the gates, turned his back with this tail in the air and stood there
He's all over the place. The saving grace is that Indy is not the least bit intimidated by Duncan, so he just sits there watching Duncan's temper tantrums. He will even put his little paw up to the gate and let out happy little meows (and now I sound like Bob Ross). When he's done, Indy will turn around, lift his tail, and go back to eating like nothing happened.
Today is a month since I brought Indy home. I was really hoping they'd be together by this point, especially given how chill Indy is.
I would say we were hanging out for probably 15-20 minutes, and this started probably 3/4 of the way through."-Duncan hissed, took swipes, and lunged at the gates" Not surprising and normal. This tells us we have more work. So we want to distract to avoid this, reassure with words and.or love (if safe) to let him know all is ok, there is no threat or risk.Now at what point did this happen? And important "tells" are what the other cat does during this and how they all act after it ends (fast rebound to normal or not)
...or he's just too sweet and naive!"The saving grace is that Indy is not the least bit intimidated by Duncan, so he just sits there watching Duncan's temper tantrums. He will even put his little paw up to the gate and let out happy little meows (and now I sound like Bob Ross). When he's done, Indy will turn around, lift his tail, and go back to eating like nothing happened." - Indy is amazing. He seems really confident and building trust (very trusting). THAT is very helpful for the intro AND also tells me that Indy is interpreting Duncan's actions as not that threatening. I always let the cats tell me what they think.
"I would say we were hanging out for probably 15-20 minutes, and this started probably 3/4 of the way through." - OK, that makes sense. That is pretty normal. As time goes on the probability of something going on increases as boredom sets in, frustration, sometimes overstimulation, etc. Things like that. I am not worried about that. Maybe cut the time a bit and end on a positive and then build on the time.I would say we were hanging out for probably 15-20 minutes, and this started probably 3/4 of the way through.
And yeah - as always, Indy was not at all bothered by any of it.
...or he's just too sweet and naive!
We'll try again at lunch time.
Keep the faith! Having been where you are, things will progress and settle. I've only done a handful of intros and from experience slow and step by step wins the day. And the cats. And goes a long way towards avoiding having to do a re-do and start over or backtrack.Today is a month since I brought Indy home. I was really hoping they'd be together by this point, especially given how chill Indy is.
I tried a few times yesterday.
Overall, I'd say it went well. Hissing was at a minimum, and Duncan didn't seem too worried about Indy. Of course, Indy wasn't the least bit worried about Duncan.
At one point, Duncan had his whole body between his food bowl and the baby gates, his back to the gates, and he ate with no issue. Indy will often eat with his back to the gates, so he's not concerned.
They had a civilized breakfast this morning. Duncan ate his food right up near the gates, and Indy was all over the place - sometimes he had his back to the gates, while he ate, sometimes, he was further away, chasing his food.
There was no hissing, and after 10-15 minutes, Duncan just showed no interest whatsoever, so I shut it down.
I will try again before class this afternoon and then at dinner time.
"We gave it another shot this morning, which went well." - Great.We gave it another shot this morning, which went well.
But then a little while later, i went in to clean Indy's litterbox. I left the bathroom door open so Indy could stretch his legs between the bathroom, hallway, and bedroom.
Duncan wasn't a fan of this, and I'm pretty sure he let the entire neighborhood know it. He was hissing at Indy, lunging at the gate, etc. I was in the bathroom, so I couldn't see everything, but I could hear him. Indy wasn't affected at all, and he came over when I called him. I kept telling Duncan it was okay, but still.
I'm not even sure his issue is jealousy. I feel like he takes his shots when I'm not there to keep him calm.
At this point, I'm almost not even sure I know why I continue with the gates because it doesn't seem to be really changing anything. How many more times can they stare at each other through the gates? I wonder if it's just magnifying the issues. <sigh>
No, I think he was annoyed with Indy because he's done this before with me on his (Duncan's) side of the gate.I do wonder if Duncan was really after Indy or if he wanted to be with you. Any idea?
Thanks. I sure hope so because I would really, REALLY like to have my house back to normal.Don't worry, you are much closer than you realize. Keep up the great work!!
"No, I think he was annoyed with Indy because he's done this before with me on his (Duncan's) side of the gate." - Ok. But he isn't like that as much when you are with him/near him on his side of the gates? Correct?No, I think he was annoyed with Indy because he's done this before with me on his (Duncan's) side of the gate.
Thanks. I sure hope so because I would really, REALLY like to have my house back to normal.
The hissing happens a fair bit, even when I'm sitting there with him. Lunging at the gate has happened a couple of times. Today, when I was in the bathroom cleaning the box; and it's happened before when I was in the kitchen (Duncan's side of the gate,) but several feet away. I was putting dishes away or something."No, I think he was annoyed with Indy because he's done this before with me on his (Duncan's) side of the gate." - Ok. But he isn't like that as much when you are with him/near him on his side of the gates? Correct?
"The hissing happens a fair bit even when I'm sitting there with him." - Not surprising and not anything out of the ordinary.The hissing happens a fair bit, even when I'm sitting there with him. Lunging at the gate has happened a couple of times. Today, when I was in the bathroom cleaning the box; and it's happened before when I was in the kitchen (Duncan's side of the gate,) but several feet away. I was putting dishes away or something.
Like with everything - the hissing, growling, etc, Duncan will go back to normal very quickly. In fact, he'll do those things, and then like flipping a switch, he'll be standing in front of the gates with his back to the gate, not the least bit concerned about Indy.How soon after the lunges did Duncan act like he always does (normal)?
"Like with everything - the hissing, growling, etc, Duncan will go back to normal very quickly." - That is VERY positive. Tells me it is a warning to Indy and not an aggressive "I want to kill you and eliminate you" thing.Like with everything - the hissing, growling, etc, Duncan will go back to normal very quickly. In fact, he'll do those things, and then like flipping a switch, he'll be standing in front of the gates with his back to the gate, not the least bit concerned about Indy.
I've got Jekyll and Hyde over here!