Introducing new cats

[calicosrspecial]

Duncan is gray, but everyday is simply CAT Appreciation day in this household.

AGREED!!!

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm just catching up, -- thank you!, and my big black furry feline of the house is having a very good day today

 

[Beyond Confused]

I believe Duncan is officially over our "dinner and a movie" dates. Now, he's not even interested in coming to listen to Indy crunching on the other side.

Are we ready for the next phase yet?

 

[Furballsmom]

I think Tuesday or Wednesday. And now you are more prepared and work on distracting in a positive way and reassuring him that everything is ok.

I'm thinking yes

 

[Beyond Confused]

I just gave it a shot.

Duncan had his breakfast first. After he was done, I went in and tidied the bathroom and got Indy's food.

Once he was munching away, I went to the other side of the gates and slightly lifted the sheet, maybe a couple inches, and I secured it. Duncan walked into the kitchen shortly after, and he stood on the side of my furthest from the gates. He let out a little meow, and then didn't make a peep after. He could see there was something on the other side, but he kept his distance. I tried giving him a treat, which he didn't want. I tried distracting him with a toy, but he was laser focused. Since he didn't move closer to inspect, I decided to call that a win. I put the sheet back down. Shortly after, he walked up near the gates, sniffed and didn't make a sound. Then, he walked away. I got up and tried to give him a treat, and he let out a little meow like, "You did this..walk away now."

It's been maybe 3 minutes since I walked back to my work area, and he's in here, tail high in the air, rubbing up against everything.

I will try again before I leave for the gym.

 

[Beyond Confused]

I can't edit my post since it's been too long. Sorry for a 2nd one.

I just tried again, and it went so well!

I put Indy in his area with his food bowl, and then I went around and raised the sheet to the same height as before. Duncan came right over and immediately upon seeing Indy, he let out just the smallest little meow, nothing at all threatening. That was it. I'd say we sat down there for maybe 5 minutes. I was unable to distract Duncan with his favorite toy, but it didn't really seem to matter.
Indy wasn't hungry, so he sat on the other side of the gate, and the two of them checked each other over. Duncan, once again, didn't actually go up to the gate, but he did get fairly close to snag a treat.

Since treats are a fun thing for them, they both got 3. Indy purred the whole time.
At one point, Duncan was sitting with his back to the gates, maybe for 45 seconds.

After 5 minutes or so, I put the sheet down, and Duncan and I walked away. I took Indy back into the bathroom and sat with him for a few minutes. He was so happy and snuggly. Then I made my way back out to Duncan, who is acting perfectly normal.

This is so exciting! While I'm sure it's not going to be 100% perfect, I really think this is going to work.

 

[pearl99]

I bet exciting! How great!! Indy sounds just so cutel
With the laser focus stare when treats or a toy doesn't work I've used a sound they don't hear very often- like tapping on the wall or floor (if it's not carpeted), snap my fingers, blow a little on a tin whistle I have, play a bird song clip on my phone, even start to sing a song in a high voice, or other funny noises. To get them to look away from each other. Or just end the encounter. I've had "the stare" and not moving a muscle turn in to a charge. Just a little info for future encounters!

 

[Beyond Confused]

I bet exciting! How great!! Indy sounds just so cutel
With the laser focus stare when treats or a toy doesn't work I've used a sound they don't hear very often- like tapping on the wall or floor (if it's not carpeted), snap my fingers, blow a little on a tin whistle I have, play a bird song clip on my phone, even start to sing a song in a high voice, or other funny noises. To get them to look away from each other. Or just end the encounter. I've had "the stare" and not moving a muscle turn in to a charge. Just a little info for future encounters!

I will definitely be on the lookout for that. Duncan didn't seem at all bothered, though, when he was watching Indy. His body language was really relaxed, and it was more like he was fascinated by the creature looking back at him. I was more concerned about Indy getting excited to see Duncan and trying to jump the gates.

I'll add, too, that after I put Indy back in the bathroom, I saw Duncan milling around on his (Duncan's) side of the gate, and then I saw him sniffing around on Indy's side. He was totally relaxed both times and came trotting over as soon as he saw me.

 

[pearl99]

I will definitely be on the lookout for that. Duncan didn't seem at all bothered, though, when he was watching Indy. His body language was really relaxed, and it was more like he was fascinated by the creature looking back at him. I was more concerned about Indy getting excited to see Duncan and trying to jump the gates.

Cool! That sounds great, and you said he did turn his back to the gate, awesome!

 

[calicosrspecial]

I can't edit my post since it's been too long. Sorry for a 2nd one.

I just tried again, and it went so well!

I put Indy in his area with his food bowl, and then I went around and raised the sheet to the same height as before. Duncan came right over and immediately upon seeing Indy, he let out just the smallest little meow, nothing at all threatening. That was it. I'd say we sat down there for maybe 5 minutes. I was unable to distract Duncan with his favorite toy, but it didn't really seem to matter.
Indy wasn't hungry, so he sat on the other side of the gate, and the two of them checked each other over. Duncan, once again, didn't actually go up to the gate, but he did get fairly close to snag a treat.

Since treats are a fun thing for them, they both got 3. Indy purred the whole time.
At one point, Duncan was sitting with his back to the gates, maybe for 45 seconds.

After 5 minutes or so, I put the sheet down, and Duncan and I walked away. I took Indy back into the bathroom and sat with him for a few minutes. He was so happy and snuggly. Then I made my way back out to Duncan, who is acting perfectly normal.

This is so exciting! While I'm sure it's not going to be 100% perfect, I really think this is going to work.

Sorry, I am having computer issues today.

On the first post. Good job. Not surprised at all.

On this post -

"I put Indy in his area with his food bowl, and then I went around and raised the sheet to the same height as before." - Great

"Duncan came right over and immediately upon seeing Indy, he let out just the smallest little meow, nothing at all threatening. That was it. I'd say we sat down there for maybe 5 minutes." - How far was Duncan from the gate? 5 minutes is really good.

"I was unable to distract Duncan with his favorite toy, but it didn't really seem to matter." - Bummer. If you can't distract reassure. And keep it short as short tends to increase the chance of having it positive.

"Indy wasn't hungry" - :/

"so he sat on the other side of the gate" - How far from the gate?

"and the two of them checked each other over. Duncan, once again, didn't actually go up to the gate, but he did get fairly close to snag a treat." - That is fine he didn't get too close. All we want is for visual and for it to be as positive as possible. Try distracting and reassuring. If we can get one or both to look away from each other that is a big win (as is it being positive).

"Since treats are a fun thing for them, they both got 3." - Ok, jsut watch Duncan as his health is very important.

"Indy purred the whole time." - Awwwww, that is great.

"At one point, Duncan was sitting with his back to the gates, maybe for 45 seconds." - WOW!!!! THAT is a BIG DEAL!!! No cat would turn their back to a potential threat. I am ecstatic!!!

"After 5 minutes or so, I put the sheet down, and Duncan and I walked away. I took Indy back into the bathroom and sat with him for a few minutes. He was so happy and snuggly. Then I made my way back out to Duncan, who is acting perfectly normal." - Perfect. GREAT job!!!

"This is so exciting! While I'm sure it's not going to be 100% perfect," - Very exciting.

"I really think this is going to work." - Totally agree. I can't say 100% but I sure think 99.9999999999%

Pearl gives great advice on distracting.

"I will definitely be on the lookout for that. Duncan didn't seem at all bothered, though, when he was watching Indy. His body language was really relaxed, and it was more like he was fascinated by the creature looking back at him." - Oftentimes it is like that the first few times. SO it is really important to keep it as positive as possible to reinforce that the other cat is not a threat.

"I was more concerned about Indy getting excited to see Duncan and trying to jump the gates." - I was concerned about that as well. SO HAPPY it did not happen.

"I'll add, too, that after I put Indy back in the bathroom, I saw Duncan milling around on his (Duncan's) side of the gate, and then I saw him sniffing around on Indy's side. He was totally relaxed both times and came trotting over as soon as he saw me." - That is great. And he was smelling him and it was positive. No threat. So positive association.

It is early but I am really pleased. Went A LOT better than I would have thought.

We will have some moments of negativity (there always is) but let's keep trying to make it as positive as possible, make those positive associations, and reassure and build confidence.

Let us know how the next visual goes. Stay calm and confident, try to do it when they are hungry (so they are focused on the food rather than each other) and keep it as positive as possible (all about quality of time rather than length of time).

AWESOME job!!! I am so proud of you, Duncan and Indy!!!!

 

[Beyond Confused]

We went through it again before I left for class.

This time, Duncan hissed a couple small times, but I swear, I think Indy decided that was a show of love, so he got even closer to the gate, if it was possible. He was already smashed up against it. Nothing will deter him from receiving Duncan's love and approval!

For Duncan, he got one treat, I think. I can't remember now. Other than those 2 small times of hissing, which were actually nothing, he kind of milled around the area, sometimes closer to the gate than others. He wasn't stressed or anything. And again, he turned his back to the gate, and another time, he streeeeeeetcccccchhhhed out. I'm usually sitting no further than a foot from the gate, and he's always just on the other side of me, sometimes on the side closest. So he's not far at all during these moments.

 

[Furballsmom]

Indy, lol

 

[Beyond Confused]

Evening update:

Just did this again. We were down there maybe 15 minutes.

I pulled the sheet up, and Indy was already eating. Duncan was ok at first. I was in my usual spot, and Duncan was on my left side. He hadn't had food for a few hours, so I thought for sure he'd be good to go. He wanted nothing to do with it. He watched Indy, and then he'd walk around on that side of me. Sometimes he'd sit with his back to me and the baby gates for long periods of time.

Indy continues eating, so Duncan walked up to the gate. Indy stops eating and happily walks to the gate where he's promptly greeted with a hiss. He turns around and goes back to eating, Duncan walks off.

For a while, Duncan stood there watching Indy. When I put my hand out or said, "C'mon, Duncan," he would stop what he was doing and walk over for head scratches.

Eventually, he walked back over to the gate, hissed and even growled. I'm not sure, but I think Indy may have hissed back. But yeah, not sure at all. He then went back to eating, and Duncan walked away. I put the sheet back down, and I walked away. It's been maybe 10 minutes, and Duncan just now came to join me at the recliner. He's now ready to eat. Before this, he had been walking around, sniffing his side of the gate.

Duncan has had a few treats, which the vet said was okay, but I don't want to give him too many. He doesn't want to eat with Indy on the other side of the gate, he's never really been into toys, so I can't distract him that way. I mean, I'm really at a loss of what to do to entertain him so he's not focused on Indy. When it gets a little darker, I may try the laser light, but after that, I'm stumped.

 

[pearl99]

C calicosrspecial will come in with info/what-to-do, but one thing I've done is see if there is a distance that the resident cat will eat at the other side of the gate at same time as the newcomer with the sheet raised however much- 5 feet from the gate, 3 feet from the gate, 7 feet from the gate- whatever the line of comfort is for Duncan. Maybe that will work?

 

[Beyond Confused]

C calicosrspecial will come in with info/what-to-do, but one thing I've done is see if there is a distance that the resident cat will eat at the other side of the gate at same time as the newcomer with the sheet raised however much- 5 feet from the gate, 3 feet from the gate, 7 feet from the gate- whatever the line of comfort is for Duncan. Maybe that will work?

Yeah, I was moving his bowl out, but he wasn't interested. Maybe I'll try moving it further next time. The way it was, I would say it was up to 5 feet away, maybe more. I kept moving it to where he was.

 

[Furballsmom]

With the laser focus stare when treats or a toy doesn't work I've used a sound they don't hear very often- like tapping on the wall or floor (if it's not carpeted), snap my fingers, blow a little on a tin whistle I have, play a bird song clip on my phone, even start to sing a song in a high voice, or other funny noises. To get them to look away from each other. Or just end the encounter. I've had "the stare" and not moving a muscle turn in to a charge.

You're sure there's nothing here that will work?

 

[calicosrspecial]

We went through it again before I left for class.

This time, Duncan hissed a couple small times, but I swear, I think Indy decided that was a show of love, so he got even closer to the gate, if it was possible. He was already smashed up against it. Nothing will deter him from receiving Duncan's love and approval!

For Duncan, he got one treat, I think. I can't remember now. Other than those 2 small times of hissing, which were actually nothing, he kind of milled around the area, sometimes closer to the gate than others. He wasn't stressed or anything. And again, he turned his back to the gate, and another time, he streeeeeeetcccccchhhhed out. I'm usually sitting no further than a foot from the gate, and he's always just on the other side of me, sometimes on the side closest. So he's not far at all during these moments.

"We went through it again before I left for class. This time, Duncan hissed a couple small times" - Totally expected and normal. A hiss is communication, the reaction (how the other cat responds) is what is important.

"I think Indy decided that was a show of love, so he got even closer to the gate, if it was possible. He was already smashed up against it. Nothing will deter him from receiving Duncan's love and approval!" - This is really good. Indy doesn't fear the hiss, doesn't escalate (defend). It sounds like he respects the communication but doesn't worry about it. So it shows he is confident and a confident cat is less likely to be attacked or attack. Very good response. That is what I like to see.

"For Duncan, he got one treat, I think. I can't remember now. Other than those 2 small times of hissing, which were actually nothing, he kind of milled around the area, sometimes closer to the gate than others. He wasn't stressed or anything." - That is excellent. And Indy's response is really helping. That gives Duncan the trust that Indy is not going to attack, hurt him, etc which helps build Duncan's trust and confidence.

"And again, he turned his back to the gate" - AWESOME!!! Another great sign of trust.

"and another time, he streeeeeeetcccccchhhhed out." - NOW THIS is another big deal!!! GREAT body language!!!

"I'm usually sitting no further than a foot from the gate, and he's always just on the other side of me, sometimes on the side closest. So he's not far at all during these moments." Perfect. You help make it safe and encourage a positive association and a positive encounter.

"Evening update:"

"Just did this again. We were down there maybe 15 minutes." - Wow.

"I pulled the sheet up, and Indy was already eating." - Perfect.

Duncan was ok at first." - Very good

" I was in my usual spot, and Duncan was on my left side. He hadn't had food for a few hours, so I thought for sure he'd be good to go. He wanted nothing to do with it." - That does happen.

"He watched Indy, and then he'd walk around on that side of me. Sometimes he'd sit with his back to me and the baby gates for long periods of time." - Ok. That sounds fine. How much was the sheet up?

"Indy continues eating, so Duncan walked up to the gate. Indy stops eating and happily walks to the gate where he's promptly greeted with a hiss. He turns around and goes back to eating, Duncan walks off." - Ok, that sounds really good. Indy was fine. How was Duncan's body language? How did he walk away? Slowly? Low? More normal? I LOVE they didn't escalate it.

"For a while, Duncan stood there watching Indy. When I put my hand out or said, "C'mon, Duncan," he would stop what he was doing and walk over for head scratches." - AWESOME!!! Distraction with love!!! GREAT job!!!

"Eventually, he walked back over to the gate, hissed and even growled." - Ok, expected and normal. A sign that we overstayed our welcome. :/ Oh well. I doubt it is an issue but we want to keep the time spent quality and try to avoid negativity.

"I'm not sure, but I think Indy may have hissed back." - Yes, possible. Wouldn't be surprising. At this point I tend to end it and then reassure, try to make it positive. What we want to do is avoid negatives and if we get it stop it and then try to reassure and watch for how fast they rebound back to normal.

With that said, this is all expected and not a surprise or worrying.

"But yeah, not sure at all. He then went back to eating, and Duncan walked away." - THAT is what I like to hear. How was Duncan's body language?

"I put the sheet back down, and I walked away." - Ok. Wht I would like you to do is reassure Duncan after this. Food, love, anything positive to reasure him.

" It's been maybe 10 minutes, and Duncan just now came to join me at the recliner." - Ok, that is good. Fast rebound. I like to hear that.

"He's now ready to eat." - Perfect.

"Before this, he had been walking around, sniffing his side of the gate." - Yep, totally normal. Feel free to be with him and reassure him when he is doing this. Calm, confident loving words are always good.

"Duncan has had a few treats, which the vet said was okay, but I don't want to give him too many." - Agreed.

"He doesn't want to eat with Indy on the other side of the gate" - For now. Food is only one way to make a positive association and a positive encounter. That is fine though he will at some point.

"he's never really been into toys, so I can't distract him that way." - That is fine.

"I mean, I'm really at a loss of what to do to entertain him so he's not focused on Indy." - Words, love (if it is safe and you are not at risk).

"When it gets a little darker, I may try the laser light, but after that, I'm stumped." - Yeah. Try the laser light but I think for Duncan it is going to be loving words and physical love. Which is perfect.

And keep the encounters short and end on a positive. And try to gradually extend the time.

I can tell you are bummed but I am really encouraged. I have not read one thing I am worried about and was pleasantly surprised by a number of things. If you sense negativity coming just end it there then reassure. Turning anything negative into a positive.

"Yeah, I was moving his bowl out, but he wasn't interested. Maybe I'll try moving it further next time. The way it was, I would say it was up to 5 feet away, maybe more. I kept moving it to where he was." - On the feeding distance, just try as far away as he will eat (even if around the corner) and then each time move just a touch closer.

We'll get there.

 

[Beyond Confused]

We just got done with another round, and then there was one right before the gym.

To sum up both sessions -
They did pretty well. Duncan hissed a few times, and Indy just doesn't seem to care. He meowed happy little meows at Duncan. Sometimes, Duncan would meow back, though not as happily as Indy did. He took swipes at the gate a couple times. I think Indy may have tried to take a swipe or two in response.

But honestly, it wasn't bad. I was able to get Duncan's attention quickly, and right after one bout, Duncan stood about a foot from the gate and stretched right toward the gate. Both times today, he turned his back on the gate for bits at a time. AND he's eaten two times with Indy on the other side. I would say it's about 3-3.5 feet away, and it's in a way that they can't really see each other. The second time, his bowl was closer than the first.

So a couple little hissy fits and swipes taken, but Indy was unaffected, and Duncan was over it as soon as I distracted him. I should also say that, when Duncan was pitching his fits, he's done it with his tail straight in the air and tipped over on the end.

Right after, I put Indy back in the bathroom. I snuggled with him for a few minutes, and he was just as sweet as he could be.
I came out, and Duncan was sitting patiently on his side of the gate, like he was ready for more. Cats. Go figure.

 

[calicosrspecial]

We just got done with another round, and then there was one right before the gym.

To sum up both sessions -
They did pretty well. Duncan hissed a few times, and Indy just doesn't seem to care. He meowed happy little meows at Duncan. Sometimes, Duncan would meow back, though not as happily as Indy did. He took swipes at the gate a couple times. I think Indy may have tried to take a swipe or two in response.

But honestly, it wasn't bad. I was able to get Duncan's attention quickly, and right after one bout, Duncan stood about a foot from the gate and stretched right toward the gate. Both times today, he turned his back on the gate for bits at a time. AND he's eaten two times with Indy on the other side. I would say it's about 3-3.5 feet away, and it's in a way that they can't really see each other. The second time, his bowl was closer than the first.

So a couple little hissy fits and swipes taken, but Indy was unaffected, and Duncan was over it as soon as I distracted him. I should also say that, when Duncan was pitching his fits, he's done it with his tail straight in the air and tipped over on the end.

Right after, I put Indy back in the bathroom. I snuggled with him for a few minutes, and he was just as sweet as he could be.
I came out, and Duncan was sitting patiently on his side of the gate, like he was ready for more. Cats. Go figure.

"Duncan hissed a few times" - Totally normal and expected.

" and Indy just doesn't seem to care." - That is really good and he doesn't escalate (and pose a threat then to Duncan). That helps build trust.

"He meowed happy little meows at Duncan." - Good. How was his body language?

"Sometimes, Duncan would meow back, though not as happily as Indy did." - How was Duncan's body language?

If that is all that happens that is great. But........

"He took swipes at the gate a couple times." - That does happen. Watch his body language and try to distract before he swipes if possible.

"I think Indy may have tried to take a swipe or two in response." - Makes sense and is normal. It is important to watch how they both respond. If it de-escalates right away that is good. If there is tension not so good. Try to distract and reassure, do something positive for them etc. As long as no one is getting hurt and it isn't escalating it is ok. We don;t want it to happen so try to distract but it often does happen.

"But honestly, it wasn't bad." - Doesn't sound bad at all.

"I was able to get Duncan's attention quickly" - GREAT!!

"and right after one bout, Duncan stood about a foot from the gate and stretched right toward the gate." - THAT is a great sign and tells me you are correct that it wasn't that bad.

"Both times today, he turned his back on the gate for bits at a time." - YES!!! Again, that is great to hear and another sign it isn't serious.

"AND he's eaten two times with Indy on the other side. I would say it's about 3-3.5 feet away, and it's in a way that they can't really see each other. The second time, his bowl was closer than the first." - PERFECT!!! GREAT job!! Keep that up.

"So a couple little hissy fits and swipes taken, but Indy was unaffected" - That is great and very helpful. Indy is really helping us with this.

"and Duncan was over it as soon as I distracted him." - This is a big deal!! A fast rebound is a great sign telling us that it isn't that serious.

"I should also say that, when Duncan was pitching his fits, he's done it with his tail straight in the air and tipped over on the end." - Awwwwwwwwww.

I would love to see video if at all possible.

"Right after, I put Indy back in the bathroom. I snuggled with him for a few minutes, and he was just as sweet as he could be.
I came out" - Great. Indy is doing really well.

"and Duncan was sitting patiently on his side of the gate, like he was ready for more. Cats. Go figure." - That is good he was sitting patiently. Right after reassuring Indy make sure you do a lot for Duncan. Love, etc. Let him know he is loved, everything is normal, no big deal, he is safe etc. If he acts like he always does after that that is a great sign.

They are doing great. Great job!!

Keep up the great work and let us know how the next ones go.

Watch their body language, if you sense tension distract, if you can't maybe end it there (on a positive note). All about maximizing positive encounters and minimizing or avoiding negative encounters and keep up with the feeding and love (if you can safely).

Keep building their confidence with Play, Food, Height and Love and keep to a consistent schedule and reassure them that all is well (especially Duncan).

 

[Beyond Confused]

I got a video tonight, but it won't upload on here. It tells me I'm missing an extension.

If you'd like, you can PM me your personal email, and I can forward the email I was able to send myself.

His tail wasn't as high as it was this afternoon, but it was still pretty decent....and then the second he started walking away, it shot in the air.