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Praying for a fast friendship for everyone's sake.It's been quite an interesting, slightly stressful few days... but I think we've reached a fairly good place in terms of introductions between Chai and Chilli!
A few days ago Chai just decided she was lonely in the bathroom and started HOWLING for hours at night. She never meowed much before this so it was a stressful surprise. I tried leaving the door open, but she was too scared to venture out, so she would peek her head around the corner and meow at me. If she caught sight of Chilli the meowing would increase tenfold, along with desperate lounging-with-belly-showing and slow-blinking at both of us. The only way I could interpret this is that she REALLY wants to be Chilli's friend, and hang out with us in the living room, but has been too skittish to come out and doesn't really know how to overcome her fear... so she just yells at me about it.
I am still genuinely worried about getting a noise complaint since I live in an apartment... I can hear my neighbor's small dog barking three doors down, so I have no idea just how loud and annoying she must have been for my next door neighbors! Luckily no complaints so far. This morning I finally decided enough was enough and exiled Chai from her bathroom safe room. I took all the familiar-smelling blankets and made her a new safe space with hiding places in my living room. She was upset at first to be in the carrier, since I had to manually transport her over there, but ever since she has been SO HAPPY. Still meowing quite a bit, still desperately wanting to be Chilli's friend, but constantly slow blinking at both of us and the meowing isn't quite as pitiful as last night. I can just tell that this is what she needed as she was too scared to do it by herself.
Chilli is being awesome. A little cautious at times, but otherwise very relaxed about having the "monster" in her living room. She's been eating, playing, getting pets, grooming, and snoozing like normal all while Chai meowed very annoyingly and plaintively in her direction. There's some occasional staring, but I also have witnessed her and Chai giving many slow blinks to each other, which I think is a great sign. The further Chilli walks away, the more sad and loud Chai's meows get... so it'll be interesting to see what happens tonight when Chilli comes to sleep with me in the loft... hopefully not another loud wailing session until 2am.
Right now both cats are sleeping on their sides facing towards each other, about 10 feet away, Chilli on the couch and Chai on her blanket under the tv stand. Chai's cute belly is fully exposed Anytime Chilli moves, Chai wakes up and gives little tiny meows at her. Chilli looks a bit startled by it but is being a very good sport about it, just watching her or ignoring her. I think Chai is enamored by her new fluffy best friend!
I feel like they are probably safe to leave alone. I think when I am gone Chai will almost definitely try to approach Chilli and make friends--and I think the worst that would happen is Chilli might hiss or go upstairs to the loft or go in her cat tree, where the three-legged monster *probably* can't reach At this point I think it'd be cruel to put Chai back in the bathroom when I leave, and I certainly can't put Chilli in there, and I don't have any extra rooms, so... it is what it is, I think, unless there's a major fight. I think it's a risk I'll have to take at this point because Chai is clearly MUCH happier out here, and I don't think any more progress would've been made by keeping her in the bathroom.
Cross your fingers, everyone! Having these two cats officially be friends, and having Chai out here in the living room, should be hugely helpful in her socialization process. Chilli is great with people, lets me kiss all over her face and do whatever I want to her, and has a wonderful calm energy that I hope will teach Chai to calm down and trust me more.
I'm still super nervous to leave them home alone... but again, I think it's a risk I have to take!
And they are pretty calm and friendly with each other already, to be honest. Occasionally Chilli will tell Chai to back off and Chai immediately obeys. Tonight they ate their kibble snack together with heads touching:
View attachment 258938
What a beautiful face Chilli has! And Chai looks like a little upside down Groucho Marx...but cuter.Chilli licked Chai briefly on the head today! Chai was so happy, she looked like she was going to melt into the floor
Chai was awesome in general today. My parents visited again and she not only came out of her hiding spot, but was rolling around and playing in the middle of the room while they were there. My mom offered a finger and Chai sniffed it without much fear which is GREAT! My parents were like, this cat is semi feral? Really? I was so proud of my little baby girl. She is clearly so happy and confident these days and it’s so wonderful to see.
Good girls hanging out today:
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This may be a terrible idea, but I wonder if she’d vocalize like that if you slept downstairs with her. Do you think she seems lonely or a bit insecure as if she’s calling for reassurance?Chai’s meowing at night is getting a bit difficult. Okay, a lot difficult. I’m so tired!!! It’s not a constant meow, but it’s extremely loud and almost a wail at times. I’ve looked around on this site for any helpful methods but most say you have to just ignore it. Even if I wanted to ignore it and let her meow away, I live in an apartment and I feel obligated to shush her for my neighbors’ sake. Getting a noise complaint would be the last thing I need in my life right now. I’m trying to be patient, but I’m pretty exhausted and sleep deprived at the moment.
I can’t really figure out why she does it other than to hear her own voice and to call to Chilli. It’s not for food or anything. She has been coming upstairs to sleep in the loft with us for parts of the night, which is good, and she’s usually pretty quiet once she’s up there. But if she’s downstairs she’s constantly talking. LOUD talking. Me calling her or ignoring her doesn’t seem to help either way. I’ve even tried making little meowing sounds back and she isn’t buying it.
Every night on and off from 12am to 5am........
“HEY!! Hello!! I jumped down from my bed! MEOW!! I’m grooming my paw! MEOW!! I ate a few bites of food and I’m still meowing while chewing!!! MRRGHHOW!! I’m sitting at the bottom of the stairs wanting to come up! MEOW!! I jumped up one step! MEOW! I jumped up another step! MEOW! I decided to go back down and scratch around for 5 minutes as loudly as possible in the litter box! MEOW!! I came halfway up the stairs and now I’m nervous and I want to make sure Chilli is up here before I come the rest of the way! MEOW!!!!!!”
The only way I can get her to shut up is by startling her, like by taking a few steps quickly and noisily downstairs, and I really hate to do anything like that as the end goal is to invite her to come sleep with me (and not be scared of me!). Or, she will shut up if she’s next to Chilli. I usually enlist Chilli and place her at the top of the stairs to give Chai confidence to come up, which kind of works, except last night it backfired as Chilli then woke up fully and decided it was playtime for the next two hours.
In other news, it’s been a few days off the meds and I think Chai’s snoring and mouth issues are getting noisier again. She’s still eating normally, including dry food, but I’m worried for our vet appointment this week. I really hope he doesn’t tell me we have to pull all her teeth out.
Chilli licked Chai briefly on the head today! Chai was so happy, she looked like she was going to melt into the floor
Chai was awesome in general today. My parents visited again and she not only came out of her hiding spot, but was rolling around and playing in the middle of the room while they were there. My mom offered a finger and Chai sniffed it without much fear which is GREAT! My parents were like, this cat is semi feral? Really? I was so proud of my little baby girl. She is clearly so happy and confident these days and it’s so wonderful to see.
Good girls hanging out today:
View attachment 259242
Awwww, she does! That’s much better than what the volunteers called her at the shelter... “little Hitler kitty.” Poor girl! I think her mustache is so cute!Chai looks like a little upside down Groucho Marx...but cuter.
I’ve tried sleeping down there on the sofa near her, but I’m pretty sure it’s Chilli’s company she’s after, as she’s relentless until she’s by Chilli’s side. I’m sure whenever she’s meowing and I answer her, she’s like, “not you, idiot! I’m talking to that other cat!”but I wonder if she’d vocalize like that if you slept downstairs with her. Do you think she seems lonely or a bit insecure as if she’s calling for reassurance?
Yes, and I usually sleep with soft peaceful music for myself anyway. Hopefully that’s been helping at least a little bit.Have you tried soft music?
I wish I could carry her! I still can’t really pet her freely with my hands, so picking up isn’t on the table yet. But I’m very impressed that she has been sleeping on the bed with me. I do think that would solve the problem... she just wants to sleep near Chilli but seems too insecure to find her sometimes.can you just carry her upstairs when it is bedtime? Would she stay and sleep with you?
We had a much better night last night. Minimal meowing and she slept upstairs on my bed or next to it almost all night. I was still awake from about 4-7am, but that’s definitely my own fault, because the cats were having cute interactions and I wanted to watch.
Chai was basically purring and rolling for hours nonstop because she was so happy that she got to sleep near Chilli. They played footsie for a while from either side of the open closet door. Chilli seemed to suddenly realize that she had a playtime buddy and got VERY excited and started racing around the house, I think trying to get Chai to chase her. (I exiled them downstairs once the zoomies began!) Chai was a bit confused and just kept plopping and purring whenever Chilli flew past her like a maniac. But eventually she got mini zoomies too, and they had a bit of an awkward run-around session and then pooped out and ate some kibbles together. Pretty cute.
Awwww, she does! That’s much better than what the volunteers called her at the shelter... “little Hitler kitty.” Poor girl! I think her mustache is so cute!
I’ve tried sleeping down there on the sofa near her, but I’m pretty sure it’s Chilli’s company she’s after, as she’s relentless until she’s by Chilli’s side. I’m sure whenever she’s meowing and I answer her, she’s like, “not you, idiot! I’m talking to that other cat!”
Yes, and I usually sleep with soft peaceful music for myself anyway. Hopefully that’s been helping at least a little bit.
I wish I could carry her! I still can’t really pet her freely with my hands, so picking up isn’t on the table yet. But I’m very impressed that she has been sleeping on the bed with me. I do think that would solve the problem... she just wants to sleep near Chilli but seems too insecure to find her sometimes.