Socializing My New Semi-feral

[Avery]

That video of Chai grooming herself is the CUTEST thing! She is so sweet and she is very lucky to have you! My weekend experience with a petting wand did not go well. Took me forever to make one (kept being too heavy or had ties that stuck out) and then Ruby was afraid of it, no matter what I did. Oh well, I'll try again.

I have never heard of matatabi sticks. Did you get them at a local pet store or did you have to order them online? Any brand recommended?? I'd like to get some for my cats.

Keep up the good work with your kitties and keep posting. I love to read the stories about Chai and Chilli!

 

[rosegold]

Avery Aww, sorry to hear you didn't have any luck with the petting stick. Ruby will come around I'm sure! If she likes food, you could try putting some lickable treat on the other end of the stick--that's how I got Chai desensitized to it.

I'm not sure if pet stores carry matatabi, but I would think you can probably get it on Amazon. I live in Korea so it's easy to find here--not sure about brands, sorry! It's basically similar to catnip but much stronger. It's also known as silvervine. I got two varieties, one is basically a stick to chew and one is a lickable "lollipop" made with the dried leaves. My cats liked both but seemed to slightly prefer chewing on the stick. I've heard it's good for dental hygiene as well!

 

[dustydiamond1]

I think the shelter gave me the wrong animal... surely this is a hamster and not a cat?

 

[Avery]

Thanks for the info. Yep, looks like matatabi sticks can be ordered on Amazon and Chewy. I did have some luck today with Ruby eating some blobs of baby food (Beechnut Classics chicken and chicken broth) from a spoon attached to a stick! She then licked it off my finger several times, which was awesome! Ups and downs... I'm trying to stay calm and patient!

I hope things are going well with Chai and Chilli!

 

[rosegold]

Avery Yay, that’s great! Licking food off your finger is an awesome sign!

Chai did hiss at me a few times yesterday because I was definitely pushing her out of her comfort zone in terms of the petting. Usually I rest my hand on the floor while stroking her with the wand toy and she is fine with that, even if the hand is close. So now I am working on keeping my hand in the air and using the whole arm motion for the pet—which is understandably quite a bit scarier! I did some short spurts of it and lots of treats and after a while we still achieved the sleepy closed eyes that normally happens after petting.

She’s also started to lick and gently bite the end of the toy at times when I pet her with it, especially when she’s feeling active. To me it seems like the typical “hey, I’m not in the mood for petting right now” signs that any cat would give if they’re feeling overstimulated or annoyed by the touch. Either that or it’s gently playful. So I am trying to respect her when she does this and back off a bit. She still loves getting pet with it when she’s feeling more relaxed—closes her eyes, stretches out her neck, basically goes into a sleepy trance. I’m glad that she has begun to start interacting with the touch in some way rather than just freezing up and taking it. I want her to recognize that petting is something based on mutual understanding and pleasure, not a torture method! and that while I do challenge her at times I will also listen to her signs that she’s not in the mood.

Also, yesterday evening (after all that petting) she came out of her box for 20+ minutes with me standing nearby to eat dinner, groom, use litter box, and just chill out. That’s a big achievement for her! My kitchen is right across from the bathroom, so it turns out she is totally comfortable with me standing there doing the dishes while she’s out of the box. In fact she seemed to calm down when I turned on the water and started banging dishes around. I guess she must feel safer when I just ignore her and do some other task rather than watching her.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Avery Yay, that’s great! Licking food off your finger is an awesome sign!

Chai did hiss at me a few times yesterday because I was definitely pushing her out of her comfort zone in terms of the petting. Usually I rest my hand on the floor while stroking her with the wand toy and she is fine with that, even if the hand is close. So now I am working on keeping my hand in the air and using the whole arm motion for the pet—which is understandably quite a bit scarier! I did some short spurts of it and lots of treats and after a while we still achieved the sleepy closed eyes that normally happens after petting.

She’s also started to lick and gently bite the end of the toy at times when I pet her with it, especially when she’s feeling active. To me it seems like the typical “hey, I’m not in the mood for petting right now” signs that any cat would give if they’re feeling overstimulated or annoyed by the touch. Either that or it’s gently playful. So I am trying to respect her when she does this and back off a bit. She still loves getting pet with it when she’s feeling more relaxed—closes her eyes, stretches out her neck, basically goes into a sleepy trance. I’m glad that she has begun to start interacting with the touch in some way rather than just freezing up and taking it. I want her to recognize that petting is something based on mutual understanding and pleasure, not a torture method! and that while I do challenge her at times I will also listen to her signs that she’s not in the mood.

Also, yesterday evening (after all that petting) she came out of her box for 20+ minutes with me standing nearby to eat dinner, groom, use litter box, and just chill out. That’s a big achievement for her! My kitchen is right across from the bathroom, so it turns out she is totally comfortable with me standing there doing the dishes while she’s out of the box. In fact she seemed to calm down when I turned on the water and started banging dishes around. I guess she must feel safer when I just ignore her and do some other task rather than watching her.

 

[rosegold]

Things are going awesome today, both in terms of Chai herself and the introductions. I feel so happy to see my cats happy. I wouldn’t say there’s any huge breakthroughs with Chai in terms of touch or anything but she is super relaxed today and seems really comfortable around me, which is more important to me than petting her anyway. I got more slow blinks than ever before, honestly more than I could count! I’ve been leaving the classical radio on more often (sometimes it’s really loud robust opera, which isn’t quite as peaceful, so I haven’t left it on 24/7 ) and I honestly think that is helping both my cats!

My two “magic tricks” for today with Chai were, 1) talking to her and specifically praising her in a kind happy voice, and 2) mimicking a happy sleepy cat with my body position (while lying on the ground facing her, stretching out my forearms and fists slightly, extending my fingers like stretching claws, and then laying my fists down again, licking my lips, and closing my eyes).

These are both quite silly things but I was amazed how much she instantly relaxed and slow blinked at me whenever I did them today. I’ve always been someone who talks up a storm to my pets, and I know a kind praising tone of voice can certainly affect dogs in a positive way, but I never realized it can help cats so much as well.

Chai seems to melt whenever I praise her in that tone of voice. Her eyes would instantly go from wide and nervous into happy slits; she blinked at me constantly and her body would immediately relax. She even mimicked my “paw stretching”, which I thought was adorable. Knowing that a year ago she was dying on the cold streets with a bone sticking out of her leg, and that even three weeks ago she was sick and neglected and stressed out in a shelter—to see her peaceful, healthy, and comfy like this makes it all worth it.

I think Chilli is going through a jealousy phase She normally likes to just go off to her cozy spots and sleep during the day, but she’s been basically attached at my hip wanting attention and getting grouchy more easily than usual. If I go into Chai’s room and she hears me talking, she raises hell thoughout the rest of the house—barrelling up and down the stairs as loudly as possible, racing and skidding around the wood floors, meowing, playing with toys, going on the desk and knocking things over, finding plastic and other naughty things to chew on, basically anything to say “HELLO???? AM I BEING REPLACED?????” So she’s getting lots of extra reassurance and loves.

Today the cats had a very positive interaction. Both eating treats within about 3 feet of each other with a direct sight line. They glanced at each other a few times but no unbroken staring. Chai slow blinking and stretched out on her side, Chilli very unbothered and after finishing treats walked away with a happy relaxed tail. I am so happy! This process is infuriatingly slow because they’re both so shy, but this was a really good development.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Things are going awesome today, both in terms of Chai herself and the introductions. I feel so happy to see my cats happy. I wouldn’t say there’s any huge breakthroughs with Chai in terms of touch or anything but she is super relaxed today and seems really comfortable around me, which is more important to me than petting her anyway. I got more slow blinks than ever before, honestly more than I could count! I’ve been leaving the classical radio on more often (sometimes it’s really loud robust opera, which isn’t quite as peaceful, so I haven’t left it on 24/7 ) and I honestly think that is helping both my cats!

My two “magic tricks” for today with Chai were, 1) talking to her and specifically praising her in a kind happy voice, and 2) mimicking a happy sleepy cat with my body position (while lying on the ground facing her, stretching out my forearms and fists slightly, extending my fingers like stretching claws, and then laying my fists down again, licking my lips, and closing my eyes).

These are both quite silly things but I was amazed how much she instantly relaxed and slow blinked at me whenever I did them today. I’ve always been someone who talks up a storm to my pets, and I know a kind praising tone of voice can certainly affect dogs in a positive way, but I never realized it can help cats so much as well.

Chai seems to melt whenever I praise her in that tone of voice. Her eyes would instantly go from wide and nervous into happy slits; she blinked at me constantly and her body would immediately relax. She even mimicked my “paw stretching”, which I thought was adorable. Knowing that a year ago she was dying on the cold streets with a bone sticking out of her leg, and that even three weeks ago she was sick and neglected and stressed out in a shelter—to see her peaceful, healthy, and comfy like this makes it all worth it.

I think Chilli is going through a jealousy phase She normally likes to just go off to her cozy spots and sleep during the day, but she’s been basically attached at my hip wanting attention and getting grouchy more easily than usual. If I go into Chai’s room and she hears me talking, she raises hell thoughout the rest of the house—barrelling up and down the stairs as loudly as possible, racing and skidding around the wood floors, meowing, playing with toys, going on the desk and knocking things over, finding plastic and other naughty things to chew on, basically anything to say “HELLO???? AM I BEING REPLACED?????” So she’s getting lots of extra reassurance and loves.

Today the cats had a very positive interaction. Both eating treats within about 3 feet of each other with a direct sight line. They glanced at each other a few times but no unbroken staring. Chai slow blinking and stretched out on her side, Chilli very unbothered and after finishing treats walked away with a happy relaxed tail. I am so happy! This process is infuriatingly slow because they’re both so shy, but this was a really good development.

 

[Avery]

Wow! That's all... just wow! What a great day you had with your cats! Congratulations! These are the days, the moments to remember when you start to feel down or impatient! Good work everybody!

 

[rosegold]

Chai seems to have a bit of matted/tangled fur along the top of her back. I’ve kind of noticed it developing for the past few weeks she’s been here—it wasn’t there when I adopted her. The rest of her coat looks normal and healthy. She’s grooming often and normally, so maybe it’s hard for her to reach that part of her back (due to missing a leg and/or being slightly chunky), and maybe the other cats at the shelter were getting that part for her? I hope it’s not causing her any discomfort. I’ve tried petting it with the wand toy and she was fine. If it’s still around in a week and a half when she goes back for her vet checkup, I’ll have him look at it.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Maybe try tying a brush to your petting stick, she may really enjoy it

 

[rosegold]

Maybe try tying a brush to your petting stick, she may really enjoy it

Yes, good idea, I’ve wanted to try that anyway!

 

[rosegold]

I gotta say... I love this cat so much. I just love her.

She is so sweet despite her fearfulness and has totally won my heart. Ever since January when I first visited her in the shelter, when she crawled over bravely to lick my hand, I knew she was mine. I remember confessing to the shelter volunteer, “I just can’t imagine leaving this shelter with a different cat and not her.” Now I can’t believe I finally have her! Every day I love her more. I know this socialization process will have its ups and downs but I adore her so much and I’m so proud of her already, I can’t imagine ever feeling disappointed or impatient with her because she’s just so precious.

This rush of affection does have a source: earlier today my parents visited and met her, and she was her typical giant-eyed scaredy cat self. But I just came home alone later and said hi to her and she did a million happy sleepy blinkies at me. I’m officially her person! She trusts me and loves me! I actually teared up a bit because it was so sweet. It’s the best feeling in the world. Also, today she meowed at me for the first official time.

This forum is full of cat lovers, so I’m sure you all can understand my happiness and love!

(Chilli, don’t worry, I love you too )

 

[rubysmama]

 

[dustydiamond1]

I gotta say... I love this cat so much. I just love her.

She is so sweet despite her fearfulness and has totally won my heart. Ever since January when I first visited her in the shelter, when she crawled over bravely to lick my hand, I knew she was mine. I remember confessing to the shelter volunteer, “I just can’t imagine leaving this shelter with a different cat and not her.” Now I can’t believe I finally have her! Every day I love her more. I know this socialization process will have its ups and downs but I adore her so much and I’m so proud of her already, I can’t imagine ever feeling disappointed or impatient with her because she’s just so precious.

This rush of affection does have a source: earlier today my parents visited and met her, and she was her typical giant-eyed scaredy cat self. But I just came home alone later and said hi to her and she did a million happy sleepy blinkies at me. I’m officially her person! She trusts me and loves me! I actually teared up a bit because it was so sweet. It’s the best feeling in the world. Also, today she meowed at me for the first official time.

This forum is full of cat lovers, so I’m sure you all can understand my happiness and love!

(Chilli, don’t worry, I love you too )

I'm very happy things are going so great, how is the socialization with her and Chilli going? Also we need photos, lots of photos...

 

[Avery]

Of course we understand! And when you are starting out with a cat that is either feral or semi-feral or just super shy, every little tiny step forward is a cause to celebrate. Two days in a row, Ruby batted at a snakey cat toy and I'm in heaven!! And Chai does look so precious (you, too, Chilli!) -- it is wonderful that you found each other!

 

[rosegold]

how is the socialization with her and Chilli going?

It’s going okay, I think... very slowly, for sure! I have another thread here if you want to read the details:

Introductions With Two Scaredy Cats

Two days in a row, Ruby batted at a snakey cat toy and I'm in heaven!!

Awww, that brought a smile to my face! How cute! Do you have any photos of Ruby you can share?

 

[rosegold]

Also we need photos, lots of photos...

It’s hard to get good photos with a cat who spends 90% of the time under a box! But actually, this evening she came out of her own volition with me sitting right there and groomed. And later ate treats out of my hand from outside the box (first time!!). (I’m kind of starting to feel like mother, with all these “firsts”!) Here’s some pictures from tonight.

 

[rubysmama]

Awww.... what a pretty girl.

 

[Chasethecat]

I decided to start a thread where I can document my experiences bringing home and socializing my new semi-feral(?) rescue kitty, Chai. I don't have her home just yet, but she'll be here next week most likely. And I'm going to need all the support and advice I can get! So thanks in advance

Chai's history is mostly unknown. She was brought into the shelter at maybe 6 months old after being hit by a car, with a bone sticking out of her front leg, which had to be amputated. She isn't aggressive, but is very shy even after being there almost a year, and none of the shelter volunteers can pet her. I actually posted about her a looooong time ago when I first joined this site! I first saw her photo on the shelter website in December 2017. So it's been a long time coming but I finally get to bring her home. I'm very excited.

I visited her today, for the first time in a while. I just hung out with her and her roommates at the shelter for over an hour. She was cautious of me, but not terrified. When I went in the room she was walking around quite fearless compared to last time. As I sat down she did go hide in a box, but one that was very open and accessible so she could watch me. Despite being sniffly (she has some sort of cold or respiratory infection right now), she was very interested in watching me. I brought some treats and she ate out of my hand and licked my fingers with no problem. Then she cleaned herself with me sitting there and then took a nap.

We did get one small hiss, which was when the squeeze tube of treats she was eating brushed her side. She flinched very hard and hissed. She is very afraid of being touched. Since she's had a lot of medical trauma I can't really blame her, or perhaps she was abused, or perhaps just scared... who knows. I didn't push her at all as I just wanted her to associate me with good things.

But the best part of the day was.... I got not just one, but several slow blinks! I couldn't believe it. Then, while in the middle of grooming, she suddenly meowed at me. I talked to her back and she meowed again and then continued grooming. It was so cute and I felt like she was just waiting for me to hurry up and adopt her.

So.... I'll keep this thread updated once she's home!

I've attached a photo from today so you can all see how cute she is. She's really filled out since last time from scrawny teenager to big-girl cat.

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I just had to comment. I 've spent the last HR enjoying your story. One day we were sitting on the steps of our farmhouse when this little beat up kitten came crawling out of a side building, her leg broken and dangling. Of course we kept her. I took her to 3 different vets who told me her leg had to be amputated. Every time they told me, I would try a new vet...same story so finally with the vet with the most compassion and empathy, I relented. She was with us 13 yrs. She climbed trees, fought all the neighborhood bullies and beat up her brother, Bear the dog on a regular basis with that one paw. I can't tell u the love I had for her. She loved to be held like a baby. The night we had to put her down was horrid for me and her father. That was 3 months ago so your story is making me very happy to know that u rescued this 3 legged fur ball and are loving her so much. I can't wait to read more on how the 2 are getting on.