Socializing My New Semi-feral

[Tobermory]

I've loved reading your thread! These most recent pictures of Chai make me smile. I know exactly what you're going through. I adopted a semi-feral three-year old a year ago this month, and it was several weeks before I could touch her...and then just barely. She jumped into my lap for the first time in March, six months after I brought her home. Now she follows me around, head butts me, purrs, asks for stomach rubs, and sleeps with me. Chai is moving much more quickly in that direction than Mocha did! Congratulations! She's so cute.

 

[rosegold]

C Chasethecat What a sweet story! I’m so sorry you lost your baby recently. I’m glad you’re enjoying my thread. I think three-legged kitties are so resilient and special.

Tobermory Yay Mocha!! Success stories like that are what keep me going, so thank you so much for sharing! I can’t wait to see how far Chai will have come in a year from now. Even if it’s just happily lounging in my house and having good company in my other cat, that is already worth it. If she purrs and cuddles and sleeps with me I will be over the moon!

 

[rosegold]

I decided to cut the two holes in her hidey box a bit bigger/taller. It seemed hard for her to go in and out, and I want it to be more comfortable for her (it's also hard for me to access her in there!). She had to crouch/crawl to come in and out, which is a bit awkward for her with only one front leg to crouch on, and also I think the top of the holes have been scraping her back and tangling the fur there.

She is VERY unamused with this new development and hissed at me twice. I'm sure it feels much scarier and more exposed like this. Hopefully she will adjust to it. If not I can always put a towel over the top to partially cover the holes.

 

[Tobermory]

If not I can always put a towel over the top to partially cover the holes.

I made two places for Mocha to hide when she came. I put a chair in a corner, made a nest under it using a blanket, and covered it with a towel. I left a corner open so she could see out into the room, and I could see her. That was her favorite place. But I also made a small hidey hole behind some boxes in the closet in the same room—“her” room—and left the closet door open a bit. She’d run in there when she was really scared by something. She mostly used it during the first month and not for long periods at a time. She’d come out and then go to her favorite spot. The chair was her home base, her security, for months, long after she was comfortable being in other parts of the house.

 

[saleri]

Always happy to hear stories like these, any update on her teeth?

 

[Chasethecat]

C Chasethecat What a sweet story! I’m so sorry you lost your baby recently. I’m glad you’re enjoying my thread. I think three-legged kitties are so resilient and special.

Tobermory Yay Mocha!! Success stories like that are what keep me going, so thank you so much for sharing! I can’t wait to see how far Chai will have come in a year from now. Even if it’s just happily lounging in my house and having good company in my other cat, that is already worth it. If she purrs and cuddles and sleeps with me I will be over the moon!

Well the neighborhood has a ferral cat colony so that's keeping my mind off my special girl. I have her ashes here on the stand. We were going to spread them over her favorite area in the yard but the vet made such a beautiful box for us that we haven't been able to let go. My boyfriend LOVED her too. They just seem super precious when they are hand I capped but not even sure she was that in her mind. Hoping all is well with both your babies. Please keep us posted. I ll be busy trying to save some of these cereals but will check in at night

 

[rosegold]

Always happy to hear stories like these, any update on her teeth?

She just finished her round of meds today and we’ll go back in for a vet check next week. The snuffling, stuffy nose, and difficulty eating is all gone though! Occasionally she has a very quiet snore. I hope we don’t have to take all her teeth out. We’ll see next week.

 

[Tobermory]

Occasionally she has a very quiet snore.

But a ladylike snore, I’m sure.

 

[rosegold]

But a ladylike snore, I’m sure.

Of course!

 

[rosegold]

It's been quite an interesting, slightly stressful few days... but I think we've reached a fairly good place in terms of introductions between Chai and Chilli!

A few days ago Chai just decided she was lonely in the bathroom and started HOWLING for hours at night. She never meowed much before this so it was a stressful surprise. I tried leaving the door open, but she was too scared to venture out, so she would peek her head around the corner and meow at me. If she caught sight of Chilli the meowing would increase tenfold, along with desperate lounging-with-belly-showing and slow-blinking at both of us. The only way I could interpret this is that she REALLY wants to be Chilli's friend, and hang out with us in the living room, but has been too skittish to come out and doesn't really know how to overcome her fear... so she just yells at me about it.

I am still genuinely worried about getting a noise complaint since I live in an apartment... I can hear my neighbor's small dog barking three doors down, so I have no idea just how loud and annoying she must have been for my next door neighbors! Luckily no complaints so far. This morning I finally decided enough was enough and exiled Chai from her bathroom safe room. I took all the familiar-smelling blankets and made her a new safe space with hiding places in my living room. She was upset at first to be in the carrier, since I had to manually transport her over there, but ever since she has been SO HAPPY. Still meowing quite a bit, still desperately wanting to be Chilli's friend, but constantly slow blinking at both of us and the meowing isn't quite as pitiful as last night. I can just tell that this is what she needed as she was too scared to do it by herself.

Chilli is being awesome. A little cautious at times, but otherwise very relaxed about having the "monster" in her living room. She's been eating, playing, getting pets, grooming, and snoozing like normal all while Chai meowed very annoyingly and plaintively in her direction. There's some occasional staring, but I also have witnessed her and Chai giving many slow blinks to each other, which I think is a great sign. The further Chilli walks away, the more sad and loud Chai's meows get... so it'll be interesting to see what happens tonight when Chilli comes to sleep with me in the loft... hopefully not another loud wailing session until 2am.

Right now both cats are sleeping on their sides facing towards each other, about 10 feet away, Chilli on the couch and Chai on her blanket under the tv stand. Chai's cute belly is fully exposed Anytime Chilli moves, Chai wakes up and gives little tiny meows at her. Chilli looks a bit startled by it but is being a very good sport about it, just watching her or ignoring her. I think Chai is enamored by her new fluffy best friend!

I feel like they are probably safe to leave alone. I think when I am gone Chai will almost definitely try to approach Chilli and make friends--and I think the worst that would happen is Chilli might hiss or go upstairs to the loft or go in her cat tree, where the three-legged monster *probably* can't reach At this point I think it'd be cruel to put Chai back in the bathroom when I leave, and I certainly can't put Chilli in there, and I don't have any extra rooms, so... it is what it is, I think, unless there's a major fight. I think it's a risk I'll have to take at this point because Chai is clearly MUCH happier out here, and I don't think any more progress would've been made by keeping her in the bathroom.

Cross your fingers, everyone! Having these two cats officially be friends, and having Chai out here in the living room, should be hugely helpful in her socialization process. Chilli is great with people, lets me kiss all over her face and do whatever I want to her, and has a wonderful calm energy that I hope will teach Chai to calm down and trust me more.

I'm still super nervous to leave them home alone... but again, I think it's a risk I have to take!

 

[rosegold]

Wow. Chai is like a different cat now that she's out in the living room - not with me, per se, but around me when Chilli is there. She absolutely ADORES Chilli. She comes right out of her hiding spot into the middle of the room and has been following Chilli, rolling around, blinking at her, rubbing on every surface, purring, kneading the floor with her one foot, and trying to headbutt Chilli. (Oh, and meowing nonstop. I guess to tell me all about how much she loves her new roommate!)

I've never seen her do any of these things before, especially not with me right there. Her purr was so loud I could hear it across the room. With me, she has been slow-blinking NONSTOP at me all day long. Every time I look at her, she blinks. I don't even have to do it first anymore. She is SO happy out here, and it seems like she is thanking me when she blinks like that, and that makes me so happy!

I think her three-legged-ness has given off some mixed signals, funnily enough. She naturally lurches forward a lot when she walks, and I think Chilli sometimes interprets that as being about to swipe. And when she tries to headbutt her balance is all over the place, and then she just falls on the floor and starts rolling around and purring. All while yelling.

Poor Chilli is naturally a bit confused! She's a bit done with the shenanigans but being extremely patient about it. She hissed once and has batted gently a few times, but otherwise is being a very good sport.

The hiss was after Chai used Chilli's litter box, so that's the one thing I would like to see if I can improve in my house. Chilli seemed rather affronted when she heard Chai scratching around in there. I have two litter boxes, one covered and quite large, one uncovered and smaller. From what I've heard it might be good to uncover the big one, so neither cat feels "trapped" in there. I'm considering getting a third too now that I know litter box guarding may be an issue. Placement in my house is slightly tricky but I've tried to put them in places that are somewhat private but don't feel like dead ends. If anyone has any suggestions about this please let me know. Food guarding seems to not be a problem, though - they ate dinner next to each other tonight like absolute angels.

The other cool thing today is that my parents came to my apartment and visited for several hours today, and both cats did awesome! Chilli is often shy with strangers, especially men, and my parents are both fairly loud, but she was cuddling and purring with my dad by the end of the night. As for Chai, she kept hidden in her spot but ate kibbles and took a nap no problem with them walking around the room. And clearly their visit didn't have any lasting effects, since she was coming out of the box within 5 minutes of them leaving to try and woo Chilli again.

They are not yet 100% friends (well, they are as far as Chai is concerned!!), but there's no way I can put Chai back in the bathroom. And I really don't think it would help the situation for either of them. So they are gonna have to just work it out while I'm gone. I know "let them work it out" is not advisable at all when it comes to introducing cats, but at this point I think my chances are good that nothing horrible will happen when I'm gone. I'll be extremely stressed out nonetheless!!--but I think I don't have any other options right now. I'm going to try to keep my outings limited to a few hours at a time if I can--I'm not working right now, so that's excellent, but my parents are in town and we were hoping to take some day trips and such... but luckily they are both animal people and very understanding about my cat situation.

Anyway... even though it was because of Chilli and not me, it is absolutely wonderful to see Chai so happy in her home. As I type this she has been staring at me and blinking over and over for 5 minutes straight from her little cozy spot under the tv stand. The meowing is definitely annoying, and Chilli isn't totally sure about everything, and I'm still stressed about both noise complaints and leaving them home alone... but overall I think everything will be okay for this little kitty in her new home with me and Chilli. <3

 

[rosegold]

How could I forget some pictures??

Happy girl purring and relaxing and waiting for Chilli to notice her:

 

[Tobermory]

Wow! This is terrific! She looks so relaxed. If you get a chance and can manage it, post a picture of the two of them close to each other.

 

[saleri]

Any video updates of the two of them?

 

[Avery]

What wonderful news! I am SO happy for you! And of course for Chai and Chilli! I love reading your stories, they are detailed and interesting and funny and inspiring. I would guess that the cats will be just fine without you at home for short periods of time at first. I might suggest that you have a cat-loving friend or one of your parents come over to keep an eye on things, but I doubt that would be necessary and it would add a whole different dynamic to the situation.

Keep us posted and, as Tobermorey suggests, we'd love to see a picture of Chai and Chilli together when you can manage it! YAY!!!!!

 

[rubysmama]

It does sounds like things are progressing in the direction. Hopefully they'll be best buds soon.

 

[rosegold]

I do have a pretty cute video of them, though you'll have to forgive my ridiculous cat baby-talk throughout!

 

[Tobermory]

I do have a pretty cute video of them, though you'll have to forgive my ridiculous cat baby-talk throughout!

I would be Chai’s complete slave. She’s irresistible! And look how relaxed and happy she is!

Cat baby talk? I heard nothing out of the ordinary. That’s exactly how I talk to my cats.

 

[rosegold]

“Hey mom, aren’t I cute? Why doesn’t that other cat think I’m cute?”



Plus a blurry pic of nice girls sniffing each other after a brief nose touch! We’re having a couple little spats and swats from Chilli, but Chai is being a very good girl and listening to her big sister for the most part. She basically just rolls around and purrs even after getting swatted and hissed at.

 

[rosegold]

Chai is progressing in leaps and bounds since meeting Chilli. Last night she slept at the foot of my bed and today she stepped into my lap briefly while eating treats. She still startles a bit if I make sudden movements or when I first come home, but hides for maybe five minutes at the most before coming out to roll around and purr in Chilli’s direction again. I’m waiting until the two girls are 100% friendly and calm around each other before pushing Chai with petting and such, but there’s been tons of progress anyway in terms of her willingness to be around me!