Socializing My New Semi-feral

[rosegold]

How's Chilli doing? Last we heard of her, she was giving you "the look" from up on the loft.

Yes, I’m still getting “the look” from Chilli occasionally and when I’m on Chai’s side of the baby gate she yells for attention the whole time. But otherwise she has been a good girl and is getting used to the situation. She basically has no reaction to the scent swapping i’ve been doing at this point other than a curious few sniffs. She creeps over to look at Chai a few times a day and then creeps away. No hissing, growling, stalking, tail lashing, or anything negative between them. Just shyness on both sides I think!

Tomorrow I’m going to switch them for a few hours and let Chai get exposed to the rest of the apartment. Unfortunately for Chai, I’ll have to catch her in the carrier briefly to make the switch and back. Hopefully she doesn’t freak out and lose the trust we’ve built so far. I basically expect her to hide and Chilli to complain a lot, but I think it will be helpful for both of them in the long run.

 

[rubysmama]

Good luck with the switch tomorrow.

 

[rosegold]

I decided to postpone the switch until tomorrow so I could tidy up my messy living room first! And also because Chai seemed a bit timid the first part of the day. I was worried the brief stints of “petting practice” had made her scared of my hand again as she was hesitant to lick or eat out of it today. I also witnessed what I believe is her trying to swat me with her missing leg. It’s a funny little shoulder jerk. So I gave her some space and took everything slower and quieter and by the late afternoon she was licking my finger again though a bit hesitantly.

Then this evening she suddenly decided to be very courageous! I was tossing kibbles gradually closer - usually she doesn’t get that close before giving up but today she came right up and lay just against my leg while munching. She stayed there for a good few minutes eating kibbles before deciding that was long enough and leaving. But not before sniffing my knee for the very first time!

I was lucky to get a sneaky photo - she came much closer than this as well.

 

[rosegold]

I petted her with my petting stick again today (wand toy with fluffy soft part on the end) and she wasn’t keen about her chin, cheeks, or top of her back. She tolerated them at most and generally tried to move away. Oddly those are the areas that seem to be recommended for first petting!

However she doesn’t seem to mind her sides or shoulders. And once I started petting the top of her head with it she closed her eyes and eventually laid her head down for a nap. Either she thinks that might feel okay, or she was just totally fed up with me... not sure which!

 

[rosegold]

Can I safely assume that a cat who falls asleep while I pet with the wand toy (not before flopping over and turning her belly to me for belly petting!) is a cat who is comfortable and enjoying herself?

I haven’t heard any purring and she hasn’t been rubbing against it, and occasionally her eyes get big and she scoots a little when she realizes how close my hand is, but as soon as I pet her on top of the head she closes her eyes and gets comfy again. I was amazed that she apparently likes belly rubs. I pet her all up and down her chest and belly with the wand toy and she just sat there with relaxed breathing and eyes closed, and eventually put her head down and apparently fell asleep.

Unless I’m badly misreading cat body language she is a happy girl today!

 

[rubysmama]

Sounds happy to me.

 

[Avery]

This all sounds great! Lucky lets me pet him everywhere, including his belly, but Ruby still stays distant. I'm going to put together a petting stick in the next day or two and give it a try with her. I guess you sort of sneak a pet at first so they don't see the wand but I think Ruby would jump away. Any tips on using a petting wand?? I read about your visit to the vet and you were able to hold her. Have you tried to hold her again or pick her up? I am a long way away from picking up Ruby! It is hard to go at their pace and not scare them when you are just dying to cuddle them! Keep up the good work!

 

[rosegold]

Avery The petting stick has definitely been helpful! Mine is just a wand toy with a fluffy rabbit tail-like bit on the end. The fluffy part was very soft and gentle so I eventually folded it over with a soft hairband so I could apply a bit more pressure. At first I tried to see if she would play with it, but she had no interest in that. I left it in the room a few days and then began setting it down closer to her while feeding treats. I also offered her squeeze/gravy treats on the other end of the stick for her to lick off. Then just sort of waved it annoyingly while she ate REALLY good treats until she was unbothered by it being in her face and around her body. That happened fairly quickly for her as she’s not really scared of objects, just hands (and she also LOVES food). For the actual petting I didn’t do any sneak pets—I think Chai would get startled too. I put some treats on the ground in such a way that her cheek brushed the petting stick while she ate them and then just slowly moved the stick to touch her cheeks and shoulders while feeding her her favorite treats. Once I found the magic spot (top of the head) she didn’t even need treats anymore

I haven’t tried to pick her up again. I’m not sure if it would be good for her or just make her more scared of me. It’s good to know that I (or the vet) CAN easily pick her up and handle her, and I think if she was a kitten I might do more forced handling sessions, but right now I seem to have the most progress when I let her make a lot of decisions. I still am trying to push her comfort zone with the petting, but I will respect her and back off if she seems too fearful.

I agree though, I wish I could just cuddle her!!

 

[Avery]

Thanks so much for the info about how you use the petting wand. This should be an easy thing, but I wasn't sure how I would use it and not scare her away! You have some good suggestions and I'm planning an all-cat weekend in which I will try this out!

 

[rosegold]

Good luck Avery , let us know how it goes!!

 

[rosegold]

Introductions between the two cats are lagging on and on... They are doing okay, I guess, but because they are both soooo shy, it’s making traditional methods a bit difficult. They are totally fine with each other’s scents but at the first sight of Chai, Chilli streaks away like she’s seen a ghost. Getting them to eat within the faintest view of each other is a logistical challenge I wasn’t really anticipating. Chai doesn’t come within Chilli’s view because she rarely comes out of her box anyway, and Chilli isn’t very food motivated to begin with. If Chilli sees Chai even all the way across the house, even just a single paw, she’s gone. Forget about even the yummiest food. Chilli says “there is a MONSTER in my bathroom!!”

I’ve been leaving the door open for Chai to explore at night, which I think has been REALLY great for Chai - I can watch her from my bedroom in the loft while she walks around the apartment, and her overall confidence in her home is definitely growing - but poor Chilli is watching too. She stays on patrol in the loft all night, watching and listening for the “monster” until she literally starts nodding off.

I may have to go back to feeding next to a totally closed door again for Chilli’s sake, so she can regain some confidence about that area of the house... I don’t know. I’ve been able to spend a ton of time at home doing this for the past few weeks, which is great, but I start getting busy with work again next week and I’d really hoped the two cats would get along better after 2 weeks. I guess I better throw those expectations to the wind, lol!

On a positive note I got to scratch Chai’s chin and cheeks yesterday while she ate a treat. I don’t even think she noticed it was my hand and not the wand toy.

 

[rosegold]

I have a very cute update


She's obviously still a bit skittish of my hands so we start with the wand toy. But I found the other magic spot - throat/under the chin!!! She stretched her whole neck out and loooooved that spot. Altogether I pet her for probably 20 minutes straight (a good 10 minutes with my hand!) and she was happy and falling asleep the whole time.

I don't think she realizes my hand was doing some of the petting as her eyes were closed for most of it. But it's still progress, I think!

 

[dustydiamond1]

I have a very cute update


She's obviously still a bit skittish of my hands so we start with the wand toy. But I found the other magic spot - throat/under the chin!!! She stretched her whole neck out and loooooved that spot. Altogether I pet her for probably 20 minutes straight (a good 10 minutes with my hand!) and she was happy and falling asleep the whole time.

I don't think she realizes my hand was doing some of the petting as her eyes were closed for most of it. But it's still progress, I think!

Oh most definitely progress!

 

[dustydiamond1]

Chai is home!

I brought her to the vet on the way home for a general checkup, but unfortunately that didn't really go as planned. I haven't used this particular vet before as I recently moved to this city, and his office is right next to my apartment building, so I figured it was worth a try. She was understandably pretty scared by the time we got there and I tried to warn him about it (language barrier issues) but as soon as he touched her she of course flew off the table. I caught her fairly easily with a towel and aside from some hissing she wasn't being aggressive. Didn't try to bite or swat (not that it's easy to swat with only one front leg!) Just very scared and stressed. Poor thing.

So I took her home instead. The vet said if I wanted he would give me a sedative and I could bring her back in a week or so for a sedated exam. We'll see. I'm talking to the shelter to see if they have any recommendations of vets who are used to working with feral or very scared cats. This guy didn't even want to be near her which I thought was a little amusing as she's pretty small and only has three legs!

Now she is in her crate with a sheet draped over it and I'm going to let her be until it's time for her dinner. Meanwhile, Chilli already knows something's up--having a small apartment sure forces this whole process along much quicker...

Chilli's already sniffed the carrier and the towel that was inside it very thoroughly. She was very interested, but no hissing or tail-lashing or any other aggressive behavior that I could tell. She is definitely not the happiest cat on the planet right now though. I think she knows there's another cat in here. I gave her some treats and played with her toy, which she did halfheartedly, but she's still glaring at me from the loft with this lovely expression:

View attachment 254829

Great photo for the Stink-eye thread

 

[dustydiamond1]

How are things going?

 

[rosegold]

Going well I think! Introductions are... introductions. Very slow but no red flags so far.

I try to spend at least an hour or two a day in the room with Chai, first for treats and petting practice and then just watching Netflix or reading next to her while she naps. Last time I was able to pet her head and cheeks with my hand while she ate kibbles. I also just practiced waving my hand around annoyingly by her head, descending onto the top of her head from above, and having the hand go up and down and wiggle in her vicinity, so she can get used to the approach of a hand as well. She handled all of it like a champ. Even if she decided to retreat for a break, she always came back for more food. She gave me the side eye or scooted back occasionally, but no hissing or obvious fear.

It turns out she LOVES dry food (and wet food... and all food...), so I’m using a handful of kibbles as treats, since she’s already getting lickable treats twice a day mixed with her medicine. I foresee that weight management may be a thing in the future for her, since she loves food and has limited mobility on three legs... But for now she gets to be a lucky spoiled girl!

Most of the petting practice happens inside her safe box. I wish I could get her venturing out more while I’m there, but the bathroom is small and I’m forced to be right up in her space as it is, so I can’t really blame her for not wanting to come out and be immediately a foot away from my face. But she does come out sometimes, when I’m ignoring her and not actively trying to interact. She comes out all the way to groom or use the litter box while I’m in there.

After petting practice she is so relaxed that she rolls upside down and falls asleep So I hang out with her while she naps. It’s awesome to see her so comfortable with me right there... especially since I’m very UNCOMFORTABLE lying on the cold bathroom floor

 

[dustydiamond1]

Lots of excellent trust signs

Avery Good luck with your kitties!! I look forward to hearing how they progress too! So far Chai has watched toys with mild interest but not tried to chase them or play at all. I have a feeling wand toys are a little difficult to bat at with only one front leg, but perhaps she will like some mousies or kick toys. The shelter she came from had ZERO toys in the room which was so sad to me. My other cat Chilli LOVES interactive play so it’ll be interesting to see if Chai comes around to enjoy it too.

We visited a different vet today and he was awesome. Her health check was generally okay but not great... she’s positive for coronavirus, which I posted about in another thread in the Health forum asking for advice... Her immune system isn’t very strong in general. The cause of her sniffling is actually due to fairly bad gum disease which is causing her mouth pain and nasal discharge. She is on meds twice a day for three weeks to see if she improves - if not, the vet recommended extracting all her teeth. Poor kitty. So I’m still crossing my fingers for an improvement in her overall health.

The best news is that this vet gave me a HUGE boost of confidence in terms of handling her and bonding with her. He was very gentle and kind but also had a positive, confident energy with her and just scooped her up in a towel with no problem. He could’ve done it without the towel, too, I think—she was that easygoing about it. She complied with only a few meows while he pet her, conducted a full body exam including checking eyes and mouth, clipped her nails, cleaned out her ears, did x rays and blood tests, and held her like a baby talking to her kindly the whole time. She was scared but never once tried to bite or act aggressively towards him. He remarked several times he thought she was a really sweet and lovely cat, just scared (he’d been warned by the shelter about her before I arrived so he may have been expecting a much bigger challenge). He showed me how to pill her for her mouth meds and she was super compliant for that, though we later decided it would be easier to mix the pill powder with treats.

The best part of the day was when he gave her back to me to hold while he checked the tests, and I got to cuddle her in my arms and pet her gently for the first time and watch her visibly relax. We’re back home and despite her stressful afternoon she’s already eaten, peed, and eaten treats out of my hand. I’m crossing all my fingers and toes that her health improves and that she and Chilli get along, because she is already becoming an awesome little cat.

This post is already too long, but... I have to say, it feels unbelievable and a bit emotional to finally have her, after wanting her and looking at her pictures since December 2017. I was told she was wild, unadoptable, that she hissed whenever anyone got close, that no one would dare touch her, and that I should look for a different cat. But when I visited her for the first time I just had a gut feeling she was a sweetheart who just needed loooots of love and patience. To have had her only 3 days and already be having those gut feelings confirmed is incredible.

Posts are never too long

 

[dustydiamond1]

Ummmmmm... speaking of this cat surprising me.... I am sitting literally right next to her litter box (like I said, tiny bathroom). The corner of it is touching my hip. It’s an open style box. This cat just sauntered over and did her business right next to me without a single care in the world. Then covered it up and sauntered away. What???? Chilli won’t even go in her COVERED box if i’m so much as looking in her direction!! What kind of “wild” cat does Chai think she is??

Gypsy is the same way, freaked me out the first time she did so!

 

[rosegold]

I think the shelter gave me the wrong animal... surely this is a hamster and not a cat?

 

[rosegold]

Chai doesn’t seem to care at all about regular catnip, but I bought some matatabi sticks and she loves them! Well, loves them in that she’s licking and chewing on it happily. A bit of a contrast to Chilli who started jumping on me rolling all over the bag before I opened it and fell off the sofa in excitement.