Socializing My New Semi-feral

[rosegold]

I just want to say how much I love that Chai is a super Chilli fangirl.

She totally is. It’s pretty funny to see her so hopelessly enamored.

 

[rosegold]

Chai let me brush her a bit with the slicker brush while she ate. I was able to loosen up the mats a bit, but I think some of them might do better with just being shaved and regrown. Maybe I’ll ask my vet to do it when we go in. I do have clippers (that I use to keep Chilli’s fluffy poopy pants under control) but might be simpler and easier at the vet.

The good news is, her regular coat looks awesome, now that I got some more of the dead hair out! Really shiny and soft compared to the dull, sticky coat she had at the shelter. Better nutrition I suppose? Her glowy smoke undercoat really comes through beautifully with a little brushing. And of course, it’s good news that she let me use the brush in the first place!

 

[dustydiamond1]

Semi-feral who?
View attachment 259098

Plus, a bonus video of her playing.

It's just amazing how fast she's changed! She went from being scared of all toys while in the bathroom to immediately rolling around and playing with me like she's been doing it her whole life. All because the love of her life, Chilli, is nearby.

Not only beautiful Chili. You were/are so patient and clever (your contented cat impersonation was Genius! ) with both of them. I'm so proud of all three of you

 

[rosegold]

 

[rosegold]

YOUR bed? I think you must mean MY bed.

 

[Tobermory]

YOUR bed? I think you must mean MY bed.

View attachment 259523

Awwww.

 

[rubysmama]

Awwww.

Ditto.

 

[rosegold]

Chilli was getting quite fed up with Chai this morning, and Chai was being very annoying and persistent, and there were quite a few strong smacks and hisses so I was getting a bit worried.

Twenty minutes later, however...

This was after Chilli licked Chai’s whole face. I’m pretty sure Chai has ascended into a higher plane of existence. She is purring SO loud.

“Omg... the girl of my dreams just kissed me... and is allowing me to sleep next to her... sort of... she’s so fluffy... and wonderful... and cool.... and warm... and perfect... and fluffy.... ”


“Sigh... my life is so hard... What did I ever do to deserve this burden...”

 

[rubysmama]

Sounds like they're working it out.

 

[saleri]

I think you're pretty good from here. Any other worries besides the teeth?

 

[rosegold]

I think you're pretty good from here. Any other worries besides the teeth?

Nothing really! But yeah, teeth are the main worry health-wise. She definitely has been having some snuffly moments, especially when playing upside down (her favorite way to play!). Still much better than when she first arrived though. Her ears also seem pretty gross at the moment and last night she was holding them funny, so hopefully isn’t mites or something. Vet later this week. Otherwise she’s full of energy and seems like a pretty happy cat to me!

Today we practiced brushing and petting with one hand, while eating treats from the other hand. She did great! And last night she slept on my legs. She still isn’t comfortable with a hand approaching and petting her, but doesn’t seem to be averse to touch in general if it’s done sneakily and there’s treats involved.

She is being so cute lately. When she’s hanging out in the living room, she is always purring nonstop and rubbing on every surface. I wish I could just reach down and pet her. But I’m trying to be patient! It’s still rewarding just to see her being so happy and comfortable.

 

[Tobermory]

How are you reaching out your hand and how is it positioned? I read that you should hold the back of your hand out to them and let them approach you. That worked with Mocha, and I also had to be on the floor and not standing over her. I spent a lot of weeks sitting on the floor with the back of my hand out to her, but Chai is much farther along than Mocha was.

I discovered, too, that when I was able to reach out to her without her darting away, I had to keep my hand (still the back of my hand) below the level of her back. If I tried to go over the top of her like I was going to stroke the top of her head or her back, it scared her. But I could gently stroke down her side.

 

[rosegold]

How are you reaching out your hand and how is it positioned? I read that you should hold the back of your hand out to them and let them approach you. That worked with Mocha, and I also had to be on the floor and not standing over her. I spent a lot of weeks sitting on the floor with the back of my hand out to her, but Chai is much farther along than Mocha was.

I discovered, too, that when I was able to reach out to her without her darting away, I had to keep my hand (still the back of my hand) below the level of her back. If I tried to go over the top of her like I was going to stroke the top of her head or her back, it scared her. But I could gently stroke down her side.

That’s good advice, thank you!! That’s sort of what I’ve been doing... but I feel as though we’re not really getting anywhere lately. I keep my hand in a loose fist with the back of the hand up, and sometimes extend a finger for her to sniff. When I’m lying in bed and do it (my mattress is on the ground) she will usually sniff my hand and not seem too scared. Sometimes she very lightly touches it with a paw to investigate. But it’s kind of stopped at that, and she doesn’t really seem to have any interest in approaching any further. If I push it, she gets giant feral eyes and shrinks away from me.

Did you give Mocha a distraction like treats while you petted her side, or not? And did you sit still and wait for her to initiate contact with you, or did you just get gradually closer until you were touching her?

I like that Chai can associate yummy treats with my hand petting her. But I worry it might be such a big distraction that it’s not actually helping her, since once the treats are gone she gets nervous again.

 

[rosegold]

P.S., Tobermory I think it’s cute that our shy kitties both have warm, sweet drinks as their names.

 

[rosegold]

Well... I have the best update ever. I am actually a little teary, I am so happy right now.

 

[rubysmama]

 

[Avery]

WOW!! What a great video of Chai getting some really nice pets! Congratulations! I can imagine how thrilled you must be!

I also am paying attention to what Rosegold and Tobermorey wrote about petting and using your hands. I have been so sad that Ruby continues to be afraid of being touched and so confused about how to change that. She used to let me pet her when I gave her treats, but now she hardly allows even that, and she cowers when I reach anything (wand, brush, hands) out to her. BUT, I like the ideas I just read about sitting on the floor, using the back of your hand, etc. and I will try them. Also, I appreciate hearing that Tobermorey spent quite a bit of time being patient, holding out the back of her hand to Mocha. I always thought I was a patient person... seems I'm not! So thanks very much for sharing these hints!

 

[saleri]

When is her appointment with the vet?

 

[rosegold]

WOW!! What a great video of Chai getting some really nice pets! Congratulations! I can imagine how thrilled you must be!

I also am paying attention to what Rosegold and Tobermorey wrote about petting and using your hands. I have been so sad that Ruby continues to be afraid of being touched and so confused about how to change that. She used to let me pet her when I gave her treats, but now she hardly allows even that, and she cowers when I reach anything (wand, brush, hands) out to her. BUT, I like the ideas I just read about sitting on the floor, using the back of your hand, etc. and I will try them. Also, I appreciate hearing that Tobermorey spent quite a bit of time being patient, holding out the back of her hand to Mocha. I always thought I was a patient person... seems I'm not! So thanks very much for sharing these hints!

I’m not sure if it was helpful or total coincidence, but as I’ve continued to pet Chai throughout the day (it wasn’t a one-time thing! yay!), each time I pet Chilli around the cheeks very thoroughly first to try and get happy Chilli scent on my hands. I also try to make sure Chai is watching me pet her for a bit, to see how relaxing and safe it is. I think you mentioned you had another cat in with Ruby? Perhaps you could try petting him/her first.

When is her appointment with the vet?

On Thursday! I will update how it goes.

 

[saleri]

I’m not sure if it was helpful or total coincidence, but as I’ve continued to pet Chai throughout the day (it wasn’t a one-time thing! yay!), each time I pet Chilli around the cheeks very thoroughly first to try and get happy Chilli scent on my hands. I also try to make sure Chai is watching me pet her for a bit, to see how relaxing and safe it is. I think you mentioned you had another cat in with Ruby? Perhaps you could try petting him/her first.



On Thursday! I will update how it goes.

Best of luck.