What's on your Mind Thread - 2022

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Margret

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vansX2 said:
Have you considered seeking out some Mental Health help? Perhaps this could ease some tensions you are feeling. Prayer is another way to ease your mind. Some people feel that Meditation relaxes them , though I've never tried it.
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Yes, I think I'm going to have to get some therapy when this is all over (right now I'm struggling to find enough hours in the day for eating plus visiting the nursing home). Prayer doesn't help, for me, since I'm an atheist, but I do meditate, mostly at bedtime. It helps, somewhat, but I already know that I'm going to need to do some intensive grief work, and that takes time. And, frankly, the anger at my husband for making this choice complicates the grieving immensely.

Margret
 
vansX2

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Margret said:
Yes, I think I'm going to have to get some therapy when this is all over (right now I'm struggling to find enough hours in the day for eating plus visiting the nursing home). Prayer doesn't help, for me, since I'm an atheist, but I do meditate, mostly at bedtime. It helps, somewhat, but I already know that I'm going to need to do some intensive grief work, and that takes time. And, frankly, the anger at my husband for making this choice complicates the grieving immensely.

Margret
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You know some therapy now may provide you with some ideas on better handling your feelings. It certainly couldn't hurt.
 
Margret

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vansX2 said:
You know some therapy now may provide you with some ideas on better handling your feelings. It certainly couldn't hurt.
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Yes, it probably would. The problem is time. My time with my husband is growing very short; I'm spending hours at the nursing home every day. I still need to occasionally visit the grocery store, prepare and eat meals, take care of all the physical things one needs to do when one isn't planning to die in a couple of weeks. I also need to visit my husband's banks with the durable Power of Attorney he gave me and get those accounts transferred to me (easier to do it now with a POA than later with a will), visit my bank and talk with them about a plan that will keep me able to pay the bills long enough to go back to college and get a proper career (since it's obvious that I will need to work in my old age, and I probably have 20-30 more years in front of me, based on family genetics), etc.. You may have noticed that I haven't been on TCS much lately - it isn't for a lack of interest, it's for lack of time. And just when I think I have a handle on all the things I need to do my sister-in-law says something helpful like, "What about car registration?" (I'm not criticizing my S-I-L; she really is being helpful. I'm just exhausted.) I feel like I'm holding down two full-time jobs, and any day now something is going to break, probably me.

Margret
 
Margot Lane

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Margret said:
This is a message that I've been putting off writing.

My husband of 46 years has been in a nursing home for the last year and a half. He was getting better; I was planning to get him into physical therapy to regain some strength and then to get him home again, but he's decided that he wants to die. And because he's totally dependent on dialysis, all he has to do is refuse dialysis - no one can overrule that decision.

He has now missed 4 dialysis sessions and is mostly sleeping, except when pain keeps him awake (and there seems to be a lot more pain than he expected). I visit every day, but we're getting close to the point where he may stop recognizing me (though I expect that to be the last to go).

I'm angry, and I'm grieving, and I'm struggling to make plans for the future.

Margret
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So sorry you are going through this…I DO meditate a lot, and find it helps me anyway. Deep breaths, try not to make too many plans at once…pace yourself. We are here.
 
vansX2

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Margret said:
Yes, it probably would. The problem is time. My time with my husband is growing very short; I'm spending hours at the nursing home every day. I still need to occasionally visit the grocery store, prepare and eat meals, take care of all the physical things one needs to do when one isn't planning to die in a couple of weeks. I also need to visit my husband's banks with the durable Power of Attorney he gave me and get those accounts transferred to me (easier to do it now with a POA than later with a will), visit my bank and talk with them about a plan that will keep me able to pay the bills long enough to go back to college and get a proper career (since it's obvious that I will need to work in my old age, and I probably have 20-30 more years in front of me, based on family genetics), etc.. You may have noticed that I haven't been on TCS much lately - it isn't for a lack of interest, it's for lack of time. And just when I think I have a handle on all the things I need to do my sister-in-law says something helpful like, "What about car registration?" (I'm not criticizing my S-I-L; she really is being helpful. I'm just exhausted.) I feel like I'm holding down two full-time jobs, and any day now something is going to break, probably me.

Margret
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Are both your names on the car registration with the word (or) so either person can transfer title? That's the way I have it on my two car registrations.
 
susanm9006

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I looks out the window this morning and an opossum was wandering through my backyard, clearly looking for food. At a point he turned around and headed back the direction he came from and then went under my backyard shed, and I suspect that is where he or she is nesting. Opossums are night time creatures so he must have been really hungry and late winter is a tough time of year for all the critters with their food store dwindling. I put the high boots and took a walk through the snow to the shed so I could leave a bowl of cat food for him. Opossums LOVE cat food.
 
MoochNNoodles

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Is it Superbowl Sunday this weekend? It's always a great time to grocery shop because the store is pretty empty. I've been using grocery pickup anyway. But still!

We have some gorgeous weather today. I found a lot of my tulips and the crocus are starting to sprout. I even went out in a t-shirt! But the breeze is a little cool for that. DS is out there with a light hoodie over a t-shirt and I feel bad for needing to make him come finish school work in a few minutes. ;)
 
artiemom

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MoochNNoodles said:
Is it Superbowl Sunday this weekend? It's always a great time to grocery shop because the store is pretty empty. I've been using grocery pickup anyway. But still!

We have some gorgeous weather today. I found a lot of my tulips and the crocus are starting to sprout. I even went out in a t-shirt! But the breeze is a little cool for that. DS is out there with a light hoodie over a t-shirt and I feel bad for needing to make him come finish school work in a few minutes. ;)
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I keep saying, to no avail~~ EARLY Spring!! ~~ Because Geoffrey is shedding so much, we are going to have an early Spring.......
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Ugh Ugh UGH.... I bit the bullet.... I scheduled an appointment at the Apple store, Friday Morning, to buy a new laptop!!! So so so Expensive... but lasts a while..

I have tried so hard to keep the current one... but, it is getting almost impossible for me to keep it going...

Ugh.... It is a MacBook Pro, 2010 hardware... purchased in 2013 or so.... I know I dropped some water on it, so they had to replace some parts.. not the entire hard drive---this was many years ago...

Now, it is really bad.... Pretty consistent lagging of the typing... the continual rainbow ball of death... just getting 'stuck' on websites... getting pretty warm, and now I am getting a warning that the battery needs service....It just freezes, and I cannot 'Force Quit" out of anything. I timed it...
0ver 10 minutes being 'stuck'..... UGH....

I am taking a 'computer class" offered in the building.. I tried to back it up with my G-drive (Time Machine)---could not do so... The person operating the class did find a way to do so. The idea was to back it up, wipe out the current operating system--Catalina From Mac.... return to the older one... but, It was not backing up.... Finally, after almost an hour, she was able to get the Time Machine (Back Up) working....

Ugh.... also... the hardware is so old that it is not compatible with updates--has not been for over a year...
I also have a small crack in the corner....

So, I guess it is time to bite the bullet and get a new laptop....

I do prefer the Apple programs, since I have an iPhone 10XR, and they sync so easily...

I also want to learn how to use the Apple processing for Word.... and I want to learn Microsoft Excel...
Since I am helping with the Bocce League--organizing, typing schedules, etc.. I need to learn both--or how to be compatible with both....

I do not want to get a Windows laptop... I find them very difficult.. and based on Apples operating system.. So I need to be compatible.

Just kind of venting... and thinking things out as I type... sorry, you are listening to this....

Ugh... just hate to wast all this money... I think this will be the last laptop for me... after this,
It will probably be an iPad or tablet of some sorts...
 
Lari

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Decided I was tired on waiting for teeth and started the dairy ladder with J again. She ate two bites of muffin and started throwing it on the floor. Made the chocolate cake and got her to eat another piece of muffin with pb on it. Finally mashed up the rest of the muffin with applesauce and put it in a reusable pouch and got some down that way. Hopefully we can finish it and we'll try the cake tomorrow to see if that goes better.

I'll cry if we fail again after all this. I thought I'd get through at least a day of muffin before having to creatively get it in her.
 
Lari

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I couldn't get her to finish the muffin. It was making us both cry. The pieces of cake are even bigger. :bawling2:

I'll try it tomorrow and if she won't eat it, I'll take a week or so off to clear her system and try step 2, butter, instead. Idk if we could pass that, while I felt like we could pass baked milk at least, but I can't do this. If we fail, we'll just stay dairy free.
 
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