Venting....

  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #761

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
1,996
Reaction score
1,939
Big props to you for keeping up with your walking. And you are having positive results that you can feel. So keep it up! No matter what, keep doing it, even on days you may "not feel like it" because it is helping you. This is what I do with working out. There are days I'm "too tired" or "too busy" or "too down" and I push myself. And like every other time, IT HELPS. Because exercise heightens endorphins, which are our natural "feel-good medicine".
As far as changing, at any age, YOU CAN. I have changed many, many things in terms of habits and thought patterns. Not with doctors, coaches, programs or anything else. Just by myself. And I am a normal person. I am also older than you. If I can do it, you can do it. When I set some big goals for myself, I always had an end "present" for myself in mind. When I liked my own cooking (and a lot of restaurants) too much, I set the goal and the "present" was that if I reached the goal -- actually WHEN, not "if" -- I would buy myself a top in the size I wanted to attain. It happened, and I did. And I maintain it. Because I feel good being small, not only in terms of how I look but also in terms of not carrying extra weight on my terrible feet, and in hot weather. Yes, I eat things I like -- but the "treats" are in small portions. I don't do restaurants any more because I can't afford them and even if I could, I would not be able to go to the ones I love because they are too far away and my roomies don't eat that kind of food. I also don't make the extra-over-the-top rich dishes any more. What you don't have, IMHO, you don't miss.
And as for those, what I call atrocity stories, I do not see/read them. I refuse to. These things that happen will not un-happen because I am aware of them. All that would happen would be that I would make myself sick with stress, anger, and sorrow. So I do not do that. If I happen to come across something sad, which I do every day, many times, in my work, my answer is to say a Prayer for that soul, who is beyond all pain anyway! If it is someone still here and in need, I help in doing my work. And then I must leave it in the Care of the Almighty. People who delve into these horrifically bad things do themselves great harm, and do those they are about no good. So I would ask you not to. You have plenty and then some on your plate as it is.
You sound just like my mom :heartshape: , she would always remind me not to get into sad news, or things that would make me anxious because it would cause me stress. I get caught when i see a sad news title. I have to be more careful.

I have had days when i didnt want to walk, or want to put it off for the end of the day. But i just force myself to walk. And i feel better afterwards. I have to keep telling myself that i can change. Maybe thats one of the things that keep making me go through a cycle of gaining weight and losing it. I felt great the last time i lost a lot of weight, but ended up gaining it back. i had so much energy.

This might make me sound dumb. But lately when i think about losing weight, i am reminded of my mother. She spent years trying to lose weight to get off the insulin. She would lose weight for a few years, and then gain it back, and repeat. Theres wasnt much information on diets back then, just all the fad diets that would come out.

Even when she was hospitalized, and finally came home, food was a comfort for her. When she was sad and in pain, she would ask us for her comfort foods. I keep thinking that even until the end she wasnt able to take control of her health. The smoking, diabetes, and weight probably triggered her pancreatic cancer. I have it in my mind, that if she failed, why should i be different? i know that is ridiculous, but its been going through my mind.

I remember seeing her walking with her walker to the kitchen because she was checking for croquettes and couldnt find any. Her mind was so damaged from the intubation that she left the kitchen, and came back to check again. She was very forgetful towards the end. Just thinking about her makes me feel like i am destined to walk her same path. I am already pre-diabetic and have high blood pressure. She didnt get sick until she was much older than me.

it does make me feel better to know you've been successful. I have to work on changing my mindset.
 

Lari

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 18, 2017
Messages
3,839
Reaction score
15,878
That's why sustainable lifestyle changes are better for losing weight than fad diets! Because the restrictive nature of a diet makes it really easy to fail, and why I never gave up any one kind of food when I was attempting to lose weight.

I know you're not at the place for this yet, but if you are able to ever start weightlifting I highly recommend it. We were doing heavy lifting before the gyms shut down due to Covid, and while I wasn't seeing the scale budge very much, it was definitely making me more lean and toned. Plus the sense of pride I felt when I was finally able to bench press 65lbs, squat 135lbs, etc. I feel like my arms are already a disaster again after a few months off, and I'd like to get into it again someday, either if gyms are safe to go to again, or if we're able to get home equipment (though it would still probably have to wait until after this kid's born and I'm cleared).
 

rubysmama

Forum Helper
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Nov 25, 2013
Messages
16,021
Reaction score
32,414
Location
Canada
Every time i think about how my credit is now ruined, and i cant save up for my own place. I just start feeling my frustration grow. im scared of being sued and the credit card companies getting into my pay, which i have read happens. I just need a chance to get on my feet.
Since your credit is already ruined, maybe you should look into personal bankruptcy.

The money it takes for a mobile, or to build a place for me to stay could take years potentially because both are so expensive. And hes just used up his savings buying this house.
Is renting a mobile home an option in your area? Also, I know there's likely long waits, but have you looked into government assisted housing? Or any other government programs for low income earners.
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
15,860
Reaction score
39,098
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
You sound just like my mom :heartshape: , she would always remind me not to get into sad news, or things that would make me anxious because it would cause me stress. I get caught when i see a sad news title. I have to be more careful.

I have had days when i didnt want to walk, or want to put it off for the end of the day. But i just force myself to walk. And i feel better afterwards. I have to keep telling myself that i can change. Maybe thats one of the things that keep making me go through a cycle of gaining weight and losing it. I felt great the last time i lost a lot of weight, but ended up gaining it back. i had so much energy.

This might make me sound dumb. But lately when i think about losing weight, i am reminded of my mother. She spent years trying to lose weight to get off the insulin. She would lose weight for a few years, and then gain it back, and repeat. Theres wasnt much information on diets back then, just all the fad diets that would come out.

Even when she was hospitalized, and finally came home, food was a comfort for her. When she was sad and in pain, she would ask us for her comfort foods. I keep thinking that even until the end she wasnt able to take control of her health. The smoking, diabetes, and weight probably triggered her pancreatic cancer. I have it in my mind, that if she failed, why should i be different? i know that is ridiculous, but its been going through my mind.

I remember seeing her walking with her walker to the kitchen because she was checking for croquettes and couldnt find any. Her mind was so damaged from the intubation that she left the kitchen, and came back to check again. She was very forgetful towards the end. Just thinking about her makes me feel like i am destined to walk her same path. I am already pre-diabetic and have high blood pressure. She didnt get sick until she was much older than me.

it does make me feel better to know you've been successful. I have to work on changing my mindset.
You are your mom's daughter. But you are NOT your mom. And as the article I posted earlier illustrates so well, "hereditary" is NOT absolute. Your mom was wise about not getting pulled down into the abyss. I do the same thing with "sad news titles" but I remind myself that I cannot do anything about most of them, and that I must conserve my strength to keep myself and my loved ones well and do my work, which DOES help save lives I care deeply about. There is plenty each of us can do every day to help those we care about, such as the online work I do. Doesn't matter if we don't have a car/a lot of money. We can share for those who need loving homes. We can sign and share petitions and letters to decision-making entities. Anyone with a device can do these things.
Lari Lari has excellent suggestions. It doesn't cost a lot to get a weight bench and some freeweights. This has been one of my best investments and I will always have them to use whenever I want.
rubysmama rubysmama 's idea is a great one, too. Friends of mine who weren't huge wage earners bought their mobile home. They can be very nice, and so importantly, they can be bought for so much less than "regular" houses. Maybe you can check into loans in the future.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #765

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
1,996
Reaction score
1,939
That's why sustainable lifestyle changes are better for losing weight than fad diets! Because the restrictive nature of a diet makes it really easy to fail, and why I never gave up any one kind of food when I was attempting to lose weight.

I know you're not at the place for this yet, but if you are able to ever start weightlifting I highly recommend it. We were doing heavy lifting before the gyms shut down due to Covid, and while I wasn't seeing the scale budge very much, it was definitely making me more lean and toned. Plus the sense of pride I felt when I was finally able to bench press 65lbs, squat 135lbs, etc. I feel like my arms are already a disaster again after a few months off, and I'd like to get into it again someday, either if gyms are safe to go to again, or if we're able to get home equipment (though it would still probably have to wait until after this kid's born and I'm cleared).
I agree. I am trying to make changes that i can keep up with. It just feels like such a slow process.

I was just thinking about doing weights the other day! I want to research how i can do weights safely without harming my back. I was trying to open a box from amazon, and my arms felt like noodles. :disappointed: Never felt that weak before in my life.

Are you pregnant? I had no idea! :eek:

Since your credit is already ruined, maybe you should look into personal bankruptcy.



Is renting a mobile home an option in your area? Also, I know there's likely long waits, but have you looked into government assisted housing? Or any other government programs for low income earners.
Mobiles are suprisingly expensive. I couldnt afford it with everything else i have going on. I looked into it a few months ago. My brother had planned to build me a place on his property or to get me a mobile. But thats not going to be done any time soon. Every now and then i look into housing help, but whenever a list opens up, it is usually for a family. I am single with two cats. Even the low income apartments are too expensive for me right now. I will keep looking though.


You are your mom's daughter. But you are NOT your mom. And as the article I posted earlier illustrates so well, "hereditary" is NOT absolute. Your mom was wise about not getting pulled down into the abyss. I do the same thing with "sad news titles" but I remind myself that I cannot do anything about most of them, and that I must conserve my strength to keep myself and my loved ones well and do my work, which DOES help save lives I care deeply about. There is plenty each of us can do every day to help those we care about, such as the online work I do. Doesn't matter if we don't have a car/a lot of money. We can share for those who need loving homes. We can sign and share petitions and letters to decision-making entities. Anyone with a device can do these things.
Lari Lari has excellent suggestions. It doesn't cost a lot to get a weight bench and some freeweights. This has been one of my best investments and I will always have them to use whenever I want.
rubysmama rubysmama 's idea is a great one, too. Friends of mine who weren't huge wage earners bought their mobile home. They can be very nice, and so importantly, they can be bought for so much less than "regular" houses. Maybe you can check into loans in the future.
I know, i am trying to change my mindset. I am hoping the changes i am making will keep growing and i can add new changes to myself. I have a lot of faults, but i tend to let myself get beaten down until i get tired. Then i start fighting to fix the mess i made. lol

I really admire all the work you do to try to improve others lives. Not many people are willing to invest time into others like that. Especially with the time you spend trying to help me. I really appreciate it!

I do want to try doing weights. I used to love exercising when i was younger, and enjoyed the strength i felt from working out. Just walking as made a huge difference. Just this morning i wanted to skip my walk because i barely slept last night, but i decided to go anyway. Made me feel a lot better.

-----

I spoke to my sister today. I was looking into my health insurance and realized that my insurance only fully kicks in at $3000 instead of $1500. I told her i barely slept last night because i was feeling panicky that the money just wasnt enough. She gave me some blank promise that shell help me if she ever gets workers comp. Everyone offers help but no one is willing to follow through. Shes promised me help before and owes me money, so i dont believe her.

I told her i was thinking about asking around family members so i can move in until i get on my feet. And she just said ok. She offers help, but makes me feel like im only welcome here if i can be a cash cow that she can grab money from.

I dont know if i should ask my brother to let me move back into his home. He hates my cats, but he promised my mom to never leave me without help. I would have to shove my cats into my bedroom as he cannot stand them. My oldest brother is still renovating his place. I dont know where i am going and i feel so lost.

I barely slept last night just staying up wondering what i am meant to do. I am worried my brother (the one whose house i left) will get angry and treat me badly just for asking. The fight we got into when i left was very ugly. We didnt speak for months. I was the one that had to step forward and mend things. He called me the B word, and said i had leached off of him long enough, and that he had kept me living like a queen. I took care of his daughter for a few years and that was my very first job.

Our relationship is much better right now and we are getting along. He is the brother i was always closest to (despite the fight) and i am scared to ruin things again. I just feel so lost. :sigh: Its been 3 years of my life being up in the air ever since my mother passed away. i apologize for always mentioning my mom. She has been the closest person to me. Losing her threw my life in a spin and i havent gotten out of it since.
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
15,860
Reaction score
39,098
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
I agree. I am trying to make changes that i can keep up with. It just feels like such a slow process.

I was just thinking about doing weights the other day! I want to research how i can do weights safely without harming my back. I was trying to open a box from amazon, and my arms felt like noodles. :disappointed: Never felt that weak before in my life.

Are you pregnant? I had no idea! :eek:



Mobiles are suprisingly expensive. I couldnt afford it with everything else i have going on. I looked into it a few months ago. My brother had planned to build me a place on his property or to get me a mobile. But thats not going to be done any time soon. Every now and then i look into housing help, but whenever a list opens up, it is usually for a family. I am single with two cats. Even the low income apartments are too expensive for me right now. I will keep looking though.




I know, i am trying to change my mindset. I am hoping the changes i am making will keep growing and i can add new changes to myself. I have a lot of faults, but i tend to let myself get beaten down until i get tired. Then i start fighting to fix the mess i made. lol

I really admire all the work you do to try to improve others lives. Not many people are willing to invest time into others like that. Especially with the time you spend trying to help me. I really appreciate it!

I do want to try doing weights. I used to love exercising when i was younger, and enjoyed the strength i felt from working out. Just walking as made a huge difference. Just this morning i wanted to skip my walk because i barely slept last night, but i decided to go anyway. Made me feel a lot better.

-----

I spoke to my sister today. I was looking into my health insurance and realized that my insurance only fully kicks in at $3000 instead of $1500. I told her i barely slept last night because i was feeling panicky that the money just wasnt enough. She gave me some blank promise that shell help me if she ever gets workers comp. Everyone offers help but no one is willing to follow through. Shes promised me help before and owes me money, so i dont believe her.

I told her i was thinking about asking around family members so i can move in until i get on my feet. And she just said ok. She offers help, but makes me feel like im only welcome here if i can be a cash cow that she can grab money from.

I dont know if i should ask my brother to let me move back into his home. He hates my cats, but he promised my mom to never leave me without help. I would have to shove my cats into my bedroom as he cannot stand them. My oldest brother is still renovating his place. I dont know where i am going and i feel so lost.

I barely slept last night just staying up wondering what i am meant to do. I am worried my brother (the one whose house i left) will get angry and treat me badly just for asking. The fight we got into when i left was very ugly. We didnt speak for months. I was the one that had to step forward and mend things. He called me the B word, and said i had leached off of him long enough, and that he had kept me living like a queen. I took care of his daughter for a few years and that was my very first job.

Our relationship is much better right now and we are getting along. He is the brother i was always closest to (despite the fight) and i am scared to ruin things again. I just feel so lost. :sigh: Its been 3 years of my life being up in the air ever since my mother passed away. i apologize for always mentioning my mom. She has been the closest person to me. Losing her threw my life in a spin and i havent gotten out of it since.
I would NEVER, EVER share a roof with anyone who "hates" cats. Period. Not an option. I have seen people living on the street with their cats. They take care of them first, before themselves. I'm not advocating living on the streets. But I would NEVER place those I love in danger from someone who "hates" them.
The love for my cats, and the work I do, is quite literally the reason I get up every day and keep pushing myself, through thick and thin. The work not only helps those I love, it helps ME. This is something my mother believed in strongly and practiced. She did various things to help others throughout her life. I believe it brought her through many dark times. "Lose yourself in something bigger than yourself" takes the focus off yourself and puts it out into the larger world. Many people would be surprised at how much that helps THEM. It, by itself, does not take away the problems. But it can make us feel stronger, more empowered, and better in general.
As far as your cats having to live temporarily in one room, as long as they have vertical space as well as horizontal space, and love and attention from you, they should be able to do this. It isn't perfect. Life isn't perfect. We have to make adjustments and be resilient.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #767

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
1,996
Reaction score
1,939
re a roof with anyone who "hates" cats. Period. Not an option. I have seen people living on the street with their cats. They take care of them first, before themselves. I'm not advocating living on the streets. But I would NEVER place those I love in danger from someo
He wouldnt physically harm an animal. My cats would sneak into his room and liked being around him. He just personally hates cats, and feels they are a "danger" to his kids because of their slight allergies. But no, my concern isnt with him harming them, he has been around them for years and knows i would never forgive him if he hurt them. I dont know what else to do. If i stay here, i wont be able to save up for my medical procedures. I dont even know if he would let me move back in. I dont even know if i can face him and ask. :disappointed:

I completely understand what you are saying about dedicating yourself to helping others. Thats how i felt when i was taking care of my niece. it helped take my mind off my own issues. :heartshape:
 

Lari

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 18, 2017
Messages
3,839
Reaction score
15,878
I agree. I am trying to make changes that i can keep up with. It just feels like such a slow process.

I was just thinking about doing weights the other day! I want to research how i can do weights safely without harming my back. I was trying to open a box from amazon, and my arms felt like noodles. :disappointed: Never felt that weak before in my life.

Are you pregnant? I had no idea! :eek:
Slow and steady wins the race, they say!

Yeah, my biggest concern would be injuring your back more. We used the Stronglifts program and did heavy lifting, but I had to start even lower than their beginner weights because I was such a weakling. It was great to feel the progress and get stronger.

Yeah, I'm 19 weeks pregnant. I try to keep most of the pregnancy talk to my own thread, but it's definitely been why I've been worrying more about if I'll be a decent parent.

I wish there was a good option of a place for you to live. The cats would probably adjust to the one room, but if your brother would be resentful, it wouldn't be any better for your mental health. But if it would help you save money, it could be worth it. Ideally, you'd be able to eventually get your own place.
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
15,860
Reaction score
39,098
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
Slow and steady wins the race, they say!

Yeah, my biggest concern would be injuring your back more. We used the Stronglifts program and did heavy lifting, but I had to start even lower than their beginner weights because I was such a weakling. It was great to feel the progress and get stronger.

Yeah, I'm 19 weeks pregnant. I try to keep most of the pregnancy talk to my own thread, but it's definitely been why I've been worrying more about if I'll be a decent parent.

I wish there was a good option of a place for you to live. The cats would probably adjust to the one room, but if your brother would be resentful, it wouldn't be any better for your mental health. But if it would help you save money, it could be worth it. Ideally, you'd be able to eventually get your own place.
You're a good and kind person, Lari Lari . You've got your head on straight. I'm confident you'll be a very good parent.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #770

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
1,996
Reaction score
1,939
Slow and steady wins the race, they say!

Yeah, my biggest concern would be injuring your back more. We used the Stronglifts program and did heavy lifting, but I had to start even lower than their beginner weights because I was such a weakling. It was great to feel the progress and get stronger.

Yeah, I'm 19 weeks pregnant. I try to keep most of the pregnancy talk to my own thread, but it's definitely been why I've been worrying more about if I'll be a decent parent.

I wish there was a good option of a place for you to live. The cats would probably adjust to the one room, but if your brother would be resentful, it wouldn't be any better for your mental health. But if it would help you save money, it could be worth it. Ideally, you'd be able to eventually get your own place.
Dont worry, i will be careful. There has to be a safe way to be able to start building muscles. I am sure the muscles will help support to my back. I wont rush into anything. I am happy to just be feeling more energetic and more like myself.

I just found your thread! I will keep up to see how you are doing. I know we dont know each other outside of this forum, but i sense your kindness in all of your posts. I truly believe you'll be a great mom. :heartshape:

I will keep thinking about what i will do. Living with my brother after my mother passed was awful. He was constantly bringing up the cats, even if we were talking about something else. He was just so angry and disgusted by them. I dont know if it was that he was grieving. But even after i left he would tell everyone how relieved he was to not have allergies and to have the cats gone. My cat Kitty hates being locked up. I have locked her up a few times (when we were doing repairs and i wanted her safe) and she obsessively tries to dash out of the room. I dont even know if i can keep her locked up.

My brother now has 3 kids. He kicked out his indoor dog to the yard (theres a porch with a roof) so the dog hairs wouldnt bother his kids. So, im afraid to even ask him to let me move back in. I have such bad memories of leaving that house the way that i did.

You're a good and kind person, Lari Lari . You've got your head on straight. I'm confident you'll be a very good parent.

I agree! :heartshape::heartshape::heartshape:
 

Lari

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 18, 2017
Messages
3,839
Reaction score
15,878
Yeah, that doesn't sound like the best environment for Kitty and Elsa. But where you're at isn't great either. I don't suppose campus housing is pet friendly and you could get an employee discount? Although a dorm would still only be one room and Kitty wouldn't like that.

I'm really glad to hear you're getting more energy, though, and I hope you can find a safe way to build up some more muscle to help your back even more,
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #772

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
1,996
Reaction score
1,939
Yeah, that doesn't sound like the best environment for Kitty and Elsa. But where you're at isn't great either. I don't suppose campus housing is pet friendly and you could get an employee discount? Although a dorm would still only be one room and Kitty wouldn't like that.

I'm really glad to hear you're getting more energy, though, and I hope you can find a safe way to build up some more muscle to help your back even more,
Now that i know i need to have $3000 until my insurance fully kicks in (thought it was $1500), i dont know if i can afford to live anywhere. I just have to pay utilities here, and even so, i am struggling with saving up for my biopsies. Last year i had to do an extension to stop my car payments for 6 months, and then 2 months due to covid. I used that time to pay for last years biopsies. This year i have the stimulus check and that covers my biopsy thats coming up. But now that i am paying for my car again, i wont have extra money to save up for my next biopsy in 3 months. My insurance wont 100% cover me until i hit $3000.

I cant imagine affording a place to live along with everything else. My pay isnt great, and its too many things. What I need is a place where I can save up money for my health expenses. It's the only reason I considered going back to my brother's place.
 

Talien

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 10, 2018
Messages
1,871
Reaction score
4,097
Location
Michigan
That's why sustainable lifestyle changes are better for losing weight than fad diets! Because the restrictive nature of a diet makes it really easy to fail, and why I never gave up any one kind of food when I was attempting to lose weight.

I know you're not at the place for this yet, but if you are able to ever start weightlifting I highly recommend it. We were doing heavy lifting before the gyms shut down due to Covid, and while I wasn't seeing the scale budge very much, it was definitely making me more lean and toned. Plus the sense of pride I felt when I was finally able to bench press 65lbs, squat 135lbs, etc. I feel like my arms are already a disaster again after a few months off, and I'd like to get into it again someday, either if gyms are safe to go to again, or if we're able to get home equipment (though it would still probably have to wait until after this kid's born and I'm cleared).
Have you considered the Charles Atlas method (AKA isometrics or dynamic resistance)? It's easy for anyone to do at home as it does not require any special equipment while still giving a good workout.

He wouldnt physically harm an animal. My cats would sneak into his room and liked being around him. He just personally hates cats, and feels they are a "danger" to his kids because of their slight allergies. But no, my concern isnt with him harming them, he has been around them for years and knows i would never forgive him if he hurt them. I dont know what else to do. If i stay here, i wont be able to save up for my medical procedures. I dont even know if he would let me move back in. I dont even know if i can face him and ask. :disappointed:

I completely understand what you are saying about dedicating yourself to helping others. Thats how i felt when i was taking care of my niece. it helped take my mind off my own issues. :heartshape:
It couldn't hurt to talk to him and explain the situation. It may not be ideal for either of you, but not liking Cats and being a danger to them are very different things, and from what you've been posting about how things are where you are now it doesn't exactly sound perfectly safe for them.
 

Lari

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 18, 2017
Messages
3,839
Reaction score
15,878
That's a ridiculous deductible. I hope they give another stimulus payment. Or you get a raise. Or some kind of break so you don't have to worry so much.

Have you considered the Charles Atlas method (AKA isometrics or dynamic resistance)? It's easy for anyone to do at home as it does not require any special equipment while still giving a good workout.
I hadn't heard of this! I should look into it!
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
15,860
Reaction score
39,098
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
Dont worry, i will be careful. There has to be a safe way to be able to start building muscles. I am sure the muscles will help support to my back. I wont rush into anything. I am happy to just be feeling more energetic and more like myself.

I just found your thread! I will keep up to see how you are doing. I know we dont know each other outside of this forum, but i sense your kindness in all of your posts. I truly believe you'll be a great mom. :heartshape:

I will keep thinking about what i will do. Living with my brother after my mother passed was awful. He was constantly bringing up the cats, even if we were talking about something else. He was just so angry and disgusted by them. I dont know if it was that he was grieving. But even after i left he would tell everyone how relieved he was to not have allergies and to have the cats gone. My cat Kitty hates being locked up. I have locked her up a few times (when we were doing repairs and i wanted her safe) and she obsessively tries to dash out of the room. I dont even know if i can keep her locked up.

My brother now has 3 kids. He kicked out his indoor dog to the yard (theres a porch with a roof) so the dog hairs wouldnt bother his kids. So, im afraid to even ask him to let me move back in. I have such bad memories of leaving that house the way that i did.




I agree! :heartshape::heartshape::heartshape:
I know you have many concerns right now, and I normally don't try to advise others on what to do beyond suggesting, as I respect others' rights and abilities to make their own decisions. But in this case, based upon what you've been posting, out of concern for your beloved cats, I have to again say very strongly that I pray you do not move in with them.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #776

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
1,996
Reaction score
1,939
Have you considered the Charles Atlas method (AKA isometrics or dynamic resistance)? It's easy for anyone to do at home as it does not require any special equipment while still giving a good workout.



It couldn't hurt to talk to him and explain the situation. It may not be ideal for either of you, but not liking Cats and being a danger to them are very different things, and from what you've been posting about how things are where you are now it doesn't exactly sound perfectly safe for them.
Thanks for the suggestion! I found a playlist on youtube that i will try out.
Dynamic Tension Exercises

i know, i just have had this really bad feeling about moving back in there. its the same feeling i had before i moved here, and then ended up having problems here too. I am going to keep thinking about it. I have my next biopsy tomorrow and that will let me know what will happen going forward, if the medicine is working, if i need more biopsies, etc.

That's a ridiculous deductible. I hope they give another stimulus payment. Or you get a raise. Or some kind of break so you don't have to worry so much.



I hadn't heard of this! I should look into it!
I really hope they give another stimulus. This is the health insurance plan that i have, perhaps i am understanding it wrong. I will know as i keep doing my tests, when my insurance starts kicking in.

This is my insurance, i am horrible at understanding all the specifics. lol
https://www.mdc.edu/humanresources/docs/2019/aetna-plan-design-and-benefits-full-risk-healthfund.pdf

I might reach out to my family if i cant afford my next biopsy. I cant keep stressing out and being afraid that i cant afford to get the care i need. I just hope they will help out if i ask. I just worry, i had told my oldest brother i was struggling with saving up and he said he didnt have money, but would eventually help me. Hes the one that bought a house and put down a huge down payment and is doing renovations. And always comes out on facebook going to weekly restaurants.... Yet, when i called last year to ask for help he didnt have money. :frustrated: I do think my middle and the youngest brother will help if they have the money.

I have my next biopsy tomorrow, hopefully everything turns out well. Been worried all weekend. I am feeling physically better from exercising, but i am not losing weight. i used to be able to make small changes and the weight would come off. Going to have to start making bigger changes.

I know you have many concerns right now, and I normally don't try to advise others on what to do beyond suggesting, as I respect others' rights and abilities to make their own decisions. But in this case, based upon what you've been posting, out of concern for your beloved cats, I have to again say very strongly that I pray you do not move in with them.
I know, i have had a bad feeling about moving in with my brother too. I havent worked up the courage to even ask him. Im getting the same bad feeling i had when i first moved into this house. I just worry because the kitties here spend all day on their trees. i constantly worry that my nephew will grab something from the kitchen and hurt them. He tends to grab everything he sees. My cats are smart and hide.

We were visiting my brother the other day and Lukas (nephew i live with) had two spatulas and was hitting my brothers son. :eek: Hes getting closer to actually listening when you say no, and wont cry as easily. But i worry about the cats. Thankfully they both know to stay far away from him. But i worry he will grab something that can hurt him.

Remember when i mentioned a few pages past that i repeatedly told my niece about her son grabbing a knife? he grabbed one again. Shes now thinking about moving the knives. :mad2:

Neither house is truly a good place for the cats. I've been praying so i can figure out which place would be best for them.

Anyway, my next biopsy is tomorrow. So i am not excited about that. I have gotten used to the D&C procedures, but i still dread them. I will know soon if i keep going with the medicine, or what the next step will be.
 

Lari

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 18, 2017
Messages
3,839
Reaction score
15,878
Huh, yeah, that's really confusing and I'm not sure what the difference is between the deductible and out of pocket. It almost sounds like once you meet the $1500, then the next $1500 would be taken out of the stuff you've already paid/that's been taken out of your paycheck? I mean, I would assume your biopsy would fall under that diagnostic laboratory (I could be completely wrong - it just seemed to fit best), which I see would have a $60 copay after the deductible, so would that mean each one is only $60 once you meet that $1500, and have they been charging you for the whole thing thus far in previous bills without any adjustments or insurance putting anything in? I feel like your family should be willing to put in a bit toward your medical bills if you need the help, though - it's not like it's money being spent frivolously.

Anyway, best of luck tomorrow! I hope you get good news.
 
Last edited:

Willowy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
27,670
Reaction score
20,614
Location
South Dakota
Oh, your insurance looks like mine. It has a Health Savings Account that your employer pays into. That covers half your deductible. You shouldn't have to pay more than $750 toward your deductible unless you've used your Health Savings Account on other stuff (I can use it on vision and dental care, too, so that would cut into the medical deductible). After the deductible, you should only have to pay co-pays and random stuff they don't cover, and your out-of-pocket maximum is $3000, after that they cover everything. Also Women's Health is covered 100%. It's good insurance! Go to the doctor!
 
Last edited:

Willowy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
27,670
Reaction score
20,614
Location
South Dakota
Here, I think this explains out-of-pocket maximums pretty well. It's good news! You'll never have to pay more than $3000 a year for your health care, even if you have to get some really complicated surgery (unless you do something that isn't covered, like IVF or elective surgery). And your co-pay for inpatient hospital care is $300, so it would take quite a lot for you to reach that $3000 maximum.

Mental health services are also pretty well covered, if you need them :).

 
Last edited:

Willowy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
27,670
Reaction score
20,614
Location
South Dakota
How much have you paid out-of-pocket so far this year? (Don't feel like you have to answer if that's too nosy, I'm just trying to see if I can help figure out how much more you have to go before coverage kicks in).
 
Top