Venting....

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terestrife

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GOOD about haircut! If it can't be untangled, then cutting is the only solution. It can't just be left like that.
Gossip is a terrible thing. My spiritual learning talks about never being a gossip or listening to gossip and I follow that. It's an endless downward spiral. And as you say, people need to live their own lives!!! Kids need compassionate, intelligent, responsible care from their caregivers. Adults need to make choices and hopefully learn from them.
Idleness is also a terrible thing! I can't even understand anyone saying they are "bored" when there is so much to do and everyone can and should be doing something to make their own lives and the lives of others better. Sometimes I "wish" I had a little time to myself, but in reality, I don't because staying busy is best for me and there is always something to do in the advocacy movement.
We spent hours trying to detangle her hair. Coconut oil, conditioner, and soaked in warm water. We lied her down on a table and put her hair in warm water. LOL the knot wouldnt come loose. I just hope my SIL doesnt try to stop my sister from chopping it off.

You never take a little time to read, or watch some TV? I think it's good to be busy, but it's also good to unwind. :heartshape:

Had the house to myself today everyone went to key west. It was so peaceful. Couldn't go as I had work, but I have no regrets. Lol
 

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We spent hours trying to detangle her hair. Coconut oil, conditioner, and soaked in warm water. We lied her down on a table and put her hair in warm water. LOL the knot wouldnt come loose. I just hope my SIL doesnt try to stop my sister from chopping it off.

You never take a little time to read, or watch some TV? I think it's good to be busy, but it's also good to unwind. :heartshape:

Had the house to myself today everyone went to key west. It was so peaceful. Couldn't go as I had work, but I have no regrets. Lol
You've given it your all! Definitely time for a short cut. Little kids look okay with short hair, and it will grow. That happened to me, too, and I actually liked having it short for awhile.
Oh yes, I relax in the evening before bedtime. I make dinner and take it in on a tray to my room where I watch TV with my Three -- it's the time I look forward to each day! But during the day, from the time my feet hit the ground until then, it's work. And before bed, the last things I do are wash any cat dishes that need it, and scoop all the boxes that need it.
 

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Yeah, the nice thing about hair is that it does grow, and it'll only be temporary if they take better care of it this time around.
 
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You've given it your all! Definitely time for a short cut. Little kids look okay with short hair, and it will grow. That happened to me, too, and I actually liked having it short for awhile.
Oh yes, I relax in the evening before bedtime. I make dinner and take it in on a tray to my room where I watch TV with my Three -- it's the time I look forward to each day! But during the day, from the time my feet hit the ground until then, it's work. And before bed, the last things I do are wash any cat dishes that need it, and scoop all the boxes that need it.
The bad thing is that it will be a pixie cut and kids tend to be particular about their hair. i encouraged her mom to make it seem like its not a big deal. I wouldn't want her thinking she needs hair to feel good about herself. My brother joked that he would get her hair extensions. I dont think that would be good for her self esteem. I go over tomorrow, and thats hopefully when we will cut her hair, if her mom doesnt interfere.

Thankfully my sister is leaving in a few days. Pretending i dont dislike her husband isnt easy. I dont like being rude to people, but dont like pretending i like someone when i dont. I usually keep distance with people i dislike. I hate how gossipy he can be, and pushy. He can be nice, but theres just something about him that i just dont like. Yesterday my niece told him to head up to her room to do something. Since he had her permission he just barged into the room that he thought was hers. But was my room instead. :angryfire:

Her first husband once barged into a bathroom i was in. Thankfully i was dressed, but he looked at me in such a gross way. My sister never believed me when i would tell her there was something wrong with him. Until we found out awful things about him. I dont think her newest husband is a pervert, but it made me feel violated. My privacy and bedroom is important to me.

I did have a good couple of weeks as i spent time with the niece that lives in Virginia. We just hung out and watched the Twilight Zone. lol

I need to start making my days more productive like you do. I am working from home, and that keeps me busy. I think thats why i wanted to start school so i can keep extra busy during the day. I am glad you give yourself some down time. We all need some quiet time to end our days.

My sister decided to get herself a new dog. When she could just take the dog here that is being mistreated. She claims she wanted to take him but the dog is full of ticks and fleas. No one has the money to take him to get groomed/ get his shots. But they go out to eat everyday, and go to shops to buy junk. Everyone has money for themselves, but not to take care of the dog.

I just dont get it. I leave stuff at the store all the time, just so i can afford to get the necessities for my cats. I fell in love with an inexpensive top the other day and had to buy litter instead. I wish my sister had decided to take the dog. :disappointed:


Yeah, the nice thing about hair is that it does grow, and it'll only be temporary if they take better care of it this time around.
I pray she actually takes care of her hair. Even after causing her daughter this much pain, shes told her that she can only grow her hair if she can comb it herself. I dont get it, if its your daughter, whats the big deal of combing a 9 year old girls hair? She can teach her at the same time while she learns.

We'll see tomorrow if we can get her hair cut. The mom was still saying that she can detangle it. :angryfire:
 

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The bad thing is that it will be a pixie cut and kids tend to be particular about their hair. i encouraged her mom to make it seem like its not a big deal. I wouldn't want her thinking she needs hair to feel good about herself. My brother joked that he would get her hair extensions. I dont think that would be good for her self esteem. I go over tomorrow, and thats hopefully when we will cut her hair, if her mom doesnt interfere.

Thankfully my sister is leaving in a few days. Pretending i dont dislike her husband isnt easy. I dont like being rude to people, but dont like pretending i like someone when i dont. I usually keep distance with people i dislike. I hate how gossipy he can be, and pushy. He can be nice, but theres just something about him that i just dont like. Yesterday my niece told him to head up to her room to do something. Since he had her permission he just barged into the room that he thought was hers. But was my room instead. :angryfire:

Her first husband once barged into a bathroom i was in. Thankfully i was dressed, but he looked at me in such a gross way. My sister never believed me when i would tell her there was something wrong with him. Until we found out awful things about him. I dont think her newest husband is a pervert, but it made me feel violated. My privacy and bedroom is important to me.

I did have a good couple of weeks as i spent time with the niece that lives in Virginia. We just hung out and watched the Twilight Zone. lol

I need to start making my days more productive like you do. I am working from home, and that keeps me busy. I think thats why i wanted to start school so i can keep extra busy during the day. I am glad you give yourself some down time. We all need some quiet time to end our days.

My sister decided to get herself a new dog. When she could just take the dog here that is being mistreated. She claims she wanted to take him but the dog is full of ticks and fleas. No one has the money to take him to get groomed/ get his shots. But they go out to eat everyday, and go to shops to buy junk. Everyone has money for themselves, but not to take care of the dog.

I just dont get it. I leave stuff at the store all the time, just so i can afford to get the necessities for my cats. I fell in love with an inexpensive top the other day and had to buy litter instead. I wish my sister had decided to take the dog. :disappointed:




I pray she actually takes care of her hair. Even after causing her daughter this much pain, shes told her that she can only grow her hair if she can comb it herself. I dont get it, if its your daughter, whats the big deal of combing a 9 year old girls hair? She can teach her at the same time while she learns.

We'll see tomorrow if we can get her hair cut. The mom was still saying that she can detangle it. :angryfire:
Well, your niece can't feel much self-esteem about having her unwashed hair in a big knot! :sigh: It may not be exactly like she wants it for awhile, but it will be eventually if someone takes care of it. (And I agree -- hair extensions for a 9-year-old? NOT appropriate! And even harder to take care of!)
The dog who is there can develop serious, even life-threatening diseases from fleas and ticks! Taking him to the groomer isn't necessary to treat this problem. Any of the topicals that kill fleas AND ticks should be used as directed. I don't have dogs so I don't know which one is best. On cats I've always used and trusted Advantage. The parasites can't be left untreated. And yes, the topicals are expensive but they can save his LIFE. Fleas and ticks can also cause serious health problems for humans, so if they don't care about their dog's health, maybe they can care about their own.
Yes, privacy is essential especially for girls and women! And I know what you mean about people just not being "right". My ex's family were all like that -- father and 3 brothers. The brother who lived locally, especially. I really disliked him and the whole family loathed me. VERY different values and lifestyles. Their father sneered about "do-gooders" while I consider it my top priority to try to do the most good I can on this earth. I could go on and on, but I won't...I do empathize with you, though.
 
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Well, your niece can't feel much self-esteem about having her unwashed hair in a big knot! :sigh: It may not be exactly like she wants it for awhile, but it will be eventually if someone takes care of it. (And I agree -- hair extensions for a 9-year-old? NOT appropriate! And even harder to take care of!)
The dog who is there can develop serious, even life-threatening diseases from fleas and ticks! Taking him to the groomer isn't necessary to treat this problem. Any of the topicals that kill fleas AND ticks should be used as directed. I don't have dogs so I don't know which one is best. On cats I've always used and trusted Advantage. The parasites can't be left untreated. And yes, the topicals are expensive but they can save his LIFE. Fleas and ticks can also cause serious health problems for humans, so if they don't care about their dog's health, maybe they can care about their own.
Yes, privacy is essential especially for girls and women! And I know what you mean about people just not being "right". My ex's family were all like that -- father and 3 brothers. The brother who lived locally, especially. I really disliked him and the whole family loathed me. VERY different values and lifestyles. Their father sneered about "do-gooders" while I consider it my top priority to try to do the most good I can on this earth. I could go on and on, but I won't...I do empathize with you, though.
My sister as always is a failure. She didnt bother to make time to go cut her hair. Started making excuses that she "thought" they wouldnt let her go through with it. Im so upset. My sister is the only person my brother actually listens to. I have never been able to persuade him about things, he always takes his wifes side blindly. So now my niece is stuck looking like a palm tree. I dont know how my SIL doesnt feel shame or embarrassment to have her daughter look like that.

My niece tried frontline and advantix, but shes not regular with it. The dog is so infested that even after the second treatment he was full of fleas. She knows the ticks and fleas are bad for the dog, and bad for the baby. Which is why the dog is in the garage. I used to buy his flea medicine, but i have my own things to deal with now. They need to take responsibility of their own problems. I have to deal with my own cats stuff, which is frustrating and expensive enough as is. No one else steps in to help me with their expenses. My niece is one of the most self absorbed people i know. I heard her saying she wanted to use the taxes she gets from her child to take him to disney. :angryfire:Instead of taking the dog to the vet and buying him flea meds. My sister seems to be getting unemployment and fixing all the old speeding tickets my niece has, getting her car insurance, and fixing her license.


My sisters husband ended up not defrosting the fridge. I think he was annoyed that i didnt want to help this time. He left the task to me last time. I dont have the strength or energy to do it. He claimed he would take care of it with the other people in the house but never bothered.

Thankfully they are gone, so we shouldnt have to deal with them for a while. Next month they tell us what the new mortgage will be so everything is up in the air about what will happen with this house. My sister was already saying that she needs money, but wants to do a food business from home. I dont think shes bothering to apply for work, so who knows what will happen to this house. Shes at least helping to pay the association that we are behind one, so its something.
 

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My sister as always is a failure. She didnt bother to make time to go cut her hair. Started making excuses that she "thought" they wouldnt let her go through with it. Im so upset. My sister is the only person my brother actually listens to. I have never been able to persuade him about things, he always takes his wifes side blindly. So now my niece is stuck looking like a palm tree. I dont know how my SIL doesnt feel shame or embarrassment to have her daughter look like that.

My niece tried frontline and advantix, but shes not regular with it. The dog is so infested that even after the second treatment he was full of fleas. She knows the ticks and fleas are bad for the dog, and bad for the baby. Which is why the dog is in the garage. I used to buy his flea medicine, but i have my own things to deal with now. They need to take responsibility of their own problems. I have to deal with my own cats stuff, which is frustrating and expensive enough as is. No one else steps in to help me with their expenses. My niece is one of the most self absorbed people i know. I heard her saying she wanted to use the taxes she gets from her child to take him to disney. :angryfire:Instead of taking the dog to the vet and buying him flea meds. My sister seems to be getting unemployment and fixing all the old speeding tickets my niece has, getting her car insurance, and fixing her license.


My sisters husband ended up not defrosting the fridge. I think he was annoyed that i didnt want to help this time. He left the task to me last time. I dont have the strength or energy to do it. He claimed he would take care of it with the other people in the house but never bothered.

Thankfully they are gone, so we shouldnt have to deal with them for a while. Next month they tell us what the new mortgage will be so everything is up in the air about what will happen with this house. My sister was already saying that she needs money, but wants to do a food business from home. I dont think shes bothering to apply for work, so who knows what will happen to this house. Shes at least helping to pay the association that we are behind one, so its something.
I feel for you so much, terestrife terestrife ! It's terrible to have to deal with these kinds of situations and especially in times like these. All you can do is the day to day. You're absolutely right -- your own responsibilities are all you should take on! Your loved ones (your cats) depend on you to stay strong and healthy and provide for them. That's enough for any person.
When my roomies first joined us and we were getting used to living together, there were quite a few problems. They were sort of little problems, but they bugged me a lot and I was at the "WHY did I ever do this???" stage. They never asked to live with me. It was all on me -- I made the offer. I must admit, I more than half expected them to turn me down, but they didn't. There have been times I didn't know how we'd be able to continue living together, but as time has gone on, we have gotten better and better at it. Now, I can't imagine life without them and I hope they stay forever. I know roomies aren't really like family, because I can make the decision at any time and you can't. But I really pray and hope that something wakes your family members up to the fact that yes, times are really, really tough, but all of us still need to keep on trying. Especially with our families and loved ones. That's what it's all about, in any times, is family and loved ones.
 
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I feel for you so much, terestrife terestrife ! It's terrible to have to deal with these kinds of situations and especially in times like these. All you can do is the day to day. You're absolutely right -- your own responsibilities are all you should take on! Your loved ones (your cats) depend on you to stay strong and healthy and provide for them. That's enough for any person.
When my roomies first joined us and we were getting used to living together, there were quite a few problems. They were sort of little problems, but they bugged me a lot and I was at the "WHY did I ever do this???" stage. They never asked to live with me. It was all on me -- I made the offer. I must admit, I more than half expected them to turn me down, but they didn't. There have been times I didn't know how we'd be able to continue living together, but as time has gone on, we have gotten better and better at it. Now, I can't imagine life without them and I hope they stay forever. I know roomies aren't really like family, because I can make the decision at any time and you can't. But I really pray and hope that something wakes your family members up to the fact that yes, times are really, really tough, but all of us still need to keep on trying. Especially with our families and loved ones. That's what it's all about, in any times, is family and loved ones.
Thank you for your continued support it means so much to me. Things are definitely better in the sense that my niece learned not to treat me like dirt the way she does other people. She isn't used to hearing no, or being told what to do. Things are calmer between us.

But i worry for my cats. They're the reason I want my own place. I've also lived with family all my life and I'm tired of living by other people's rules.

Anyway, you remember the old coworker that told me I had blown up? She used to rarely contact me. Now she's been trying to call and leaving me texts, don't really want to deal with her. But I don't want to close the door to my old job by having issues with an old coworker.

She even texted if I was mad. I don't want to talk about my feelings with her. I made that mistake only once in a job and the coworker took it so personally that her actions were bothering me.

Not sure if I should just send her a casual text so she'll go away.

Anyway, have a yearly check up with my dr tomorrow. Feeling very anxious. Don't want them finding anything else wrong with me. Makes me not want to go.:frown:
 

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Thank you for your continued support it means so much to me. Things are definitely better in the sense that my niece learned not to treat me like dirt the way she does other people. She isn't used to hearing no, or being told what to do. Things are calmer between us.

But i worry for my cats. They're the reason I want my own place. I've also lived with family all my life and I'm tired of living by other people's rules.

Anyway, you remember the old coworker that told me I had blown up? She used to rarely contact me. Now she's been trying to call and leaving me texts, don't really want to deal with her. But I don't want to close the door to my old job by having issues with an old coworker.

She even texted if I was mad. I don't want to talk about my feelings with her. I made that mistake only once in a job and the coworker took it so personally that her actions were bothering me.

Not sure if I should just send her a casual text so she'll go away.

Anyway, have a yearly check up with my dr tomorrow. Feeling very anxious. Don't want them finding anything else wrong with me. Makes me not want to go.:frown:
*HUGS*
Well, it's your choice, no one else's. I am not at all a buyer into the western "health care" so I won't say more.
As to the co-worker, also your choice. I don't like to blow people off, but I have been discovering lately that there are times when relationships, if more of a liability than an asset, can be ended and gues what? I still go on. I've had to do this on several occasions. I miss the people's good sides, but I don't miss having arguments with them, having them put me down or lie to me or backstab me. So those kinds of people are not doing me any good -- and if this co-worker is like that, she isn't doing you any good, either. You know your history with her. You don't owe anything at all in a relationship of any kind that is harmful to you. As I saw yesterday, "NO" IS a complete sentence." ;)
And yes, your cats are #1 priority, always!!!
 

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My sister as always is a failure. She didnt bother to make time to go cut her hair. Started making excuses that she "thought" they wouldnt let her go through with it. Im so upset. My sister is the only person my brother actually listens to. I have never been able to persuade him about things, he always takes his wifes side blindly. So now my niece is stuck looking like a palm tree. I dont know how my SIL doesnt feel shame or embarrassment to have her daughter look like that.

My niece tried frontline and advantix, but shes not regular with it. The dog is so infested that even after the second treatment he was full of fleas. She knows the ticks and fleas are bad for the dog, and bad for the baby. Which is why the dog is in the garage. I used to buy his flea medicine, but i have my own things to deal with now. They need to take responsibility of their own problems. I have to deal with my own cats stuff, which is frustrating and expensive enough as is. No one else steps in to help me with their expenses. My niece is one of the most self absorbed people i know. I heard her saying she wanted to use the taxes she gets from her child to take him to disney. :angryfire:Instead of taking the dog to the vet and buying him flea meds. My sister seems to be getting unemployment and fixing all the old speeding tickets my niece has, getting her car insurance, and fixing her license.


My sisters husband ended up not defrosting the fridge. I think he was annoyed that i didnt want to help this time. He left the task to me last time. I dont have the strength or energy to do it. He claimed he would take care of it with the other people in the house but never bothered.

Thankfully they are gone, so we shouldnt have to deal with them for a while. Next month they tell us what the new mortgage will be so everything is up in the air about what will happen with this house. My sister was already saying that she needs money, but wants to do a food business from home. I dont think shes bothering to apply for work, so who knows what will happen to this house. Shes at least helping to pay the association that we are behind one, so its something.

.....This'll be the second time I've said this today, but some people just deserve to get kicked in the teeth.
 
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*HUGS*
Well, it's your choice, no one else's. I am not at all a buyer into the western "health care" so I won't say more.
As to the co-worker, also your choice. I don't like to blow people off, but I have been discovering lately that there are times when relationships, if more of a liability than an asset, can be ended and gues what? I still go on. I've had to do this on several occasions. I miss the people's good sides, but I don't miss having arguments with them, having them put me down or lie to me or backstab me. So those kinds of people are not doing me any good -- and if this co-worker is like that, she isn't doing you any good, either. You know your history with her. You don't owe anything at all in a relationship of any kind that is harmful to you. As I saw yesterday, "NO" IS a complete sentence." ;)
And yes, your cats are #1 priority, always!!!
Sorry that i havent responded, been feeling down all weekend.

Went to the doctor friday. Of course they mentioned my weight. He says he wants to put me on weight-loss medication. Which i definitely dont want to take. My blood pressure is high. I've been getting headaches all the time, so i am not surprised. They did some blood work, but im pretty sure i am still pre-diabetic, still waiting on the blood test results.

My sister was on the phone with me today, she kept telling me i had to stop stressing and worrying. That if something happens to me i wont be able to be there for my nieces and for my cats. I used to complain to my mom that she was making herself sick by worrying about what other people were doing with their lives. i would tell her she was obsessing and people living their life worry free.... i am turning into my mother. :headshake:

She kept telling me i had to take control of my health, otherwise i wont be able to have the energy/health to accomplish the things i want to do in life.

.....This'll be the second time I've said this today, but some people just deserve to get kicked in the teeth.
Yep, i agree. As hard as it is, i need to let people live their lives. I have tried for years to "help" family and it never works out. Im just causing myself stress. I have a big heart, so its hard for me not to care.


terestrife terestrife Just thought you might be interested in this little video as an encouragement. I'm not a proponent of drugs or of animal research! but the basic concept is something I've always agreed with and hoped would become more accepted.
Your DNA is not your destiny - BBC Reel
Thank you for posting this! It gives me hope that its possible to turn things around. I am already walking 20 mins a day (taking it slow because of my back pain.) My diet still needs a lot of fixing up, but its improved. I still have days where i wake up and just going downstairs to deal with the cats routine feels like a humongous task. Thankfully thats not everyday. I used to be able to make small changes and the weight would come off of me. But i guess im not really myself right now. :sigh:

i'm going to try the meditation. Its incredibly how connected the mind and body are to each other.
 

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Sorry that i havent responded, been feeling down all weekend.

Went to the doctor friday. Of course they mentioned my weight. He says he wants to put me on weight-loss medication. Which i definitely dont want to take. My blood pressure is high. I've been getting headaches all the time, so i am not surprised. They did some blood work, but im pretty sure i am still pre-diabetic, still waiting on the blood test results.

My sister was on the phone with me today, she kept telling me i had to stop stressing and worrying. That if something happens to me i wont be able to be there for my nieces and for my cats. I used to complain to my mom that she was making herself sick by worrying about what other people were doing with their lives. i would tell her she was obsessing and people living their life worry free.... i am turning into my mother. :headshake:

She kept telling me i had to take control of my health, otherwise i wont be able to have the energy/health to accomplish the things i want to do in life.



Yep, i agree. As hard as it is, i need to let people live their lives. I have tried for years to "help" family and it never works out. Im just causing myself stress. I have a big heart, so its hard for me not to care.




Thank you for posting this! It gives me hope that its possible to turn things around. I am already walking 20 mins a day (taking it slow because of my back pain.) My diet still needs a lot of fixing up, but its improved. I still have days where i wake up and just going downstairs to deal with the cats routine feels like a humongous task. Thankfully thats not everyday. I used to be able to make small changes and the weight would come off of me. But i guess im not really myself right now. :sigh:

i'm going to try the meditation. Its incredibly how connected the mind and body are to each other.
Well, each of us is a contained unit, right? and yes, mind is connected to body in a huge way. "Mind over matter" is not just a saying. It's a truth.
I care a lot and am concerned a lot, too, but you're right when you say sometimes we need to let go. Bottom line, we do control our own actions, but not others', and I'm sure you've also heard the saying, "Let go, let god" which for me means praying and letting our minds be open to anything we might be able to do to improve the situation, whatever it may be -- but also being open to the fact that we do not always get "answers" and sometimes we must just go on with our lives, leaving things to be sorted out how and when they will. Your sister is right in saying what she did about staying well for those in your care. That is FIRST priority and when I find myself stressing out over something, I remind myself of that. *I used to observe my mom doing the same thing. I also believe that her concern caused her a lot of stress which ultimately contributed to her health problems late in life. We can observe things in others that are not necessarily easy to avoid, though. And one thing I know -- people who are uncaring and unconcerned for others are already in the hell of their own making. We are mammals. Mammals are hard-wired to care and have concern for those close to them, at least.*
If I was going to suggest anything, I would again suggest the green tea capsules or tablets, used as directed. They are gentle and unless it says otherwise on the instructions, I believe they can be used by anyone as a gentle metabolism-booster which will, over time, help with your weight.
 
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Well, each of us is a contained unit, right? and yes, mind is connected to body in a huge way. "Mind over matter" is not just a saying. It's a truth.
I care a lot and am concerned a lot, too, but you're right when you say sometimes we need to let go. Bottom line, we do control our own actions, but not others', and I'm sure you've also heard the saying, "Let go, let god" which for me means praying and letting our minds be open to anything we might be able to do to improve the situation, whatever it may be -- but also being open to the fact that we do not always get "answers" and sometimes we must just go on with our lives, leaving things to be sorted out how and when they will. Your sister is right in saying what she did about staying well for those in your care. That is FIRST priority and when I find myself stressing out over something, I remind myself of that. *I used to observe my mom doing the same thing. I also believe that her concern caused her a lot of stress which ultimately contributed to her health problems late in life. We can observe things in others that are not necessarily easy to avoid, though. And one thing I know -- people who are uncaring and unconcerned for others are already in the hell of their own making. We are mammals. Mammals are hard-wired to care and have concern for those close to them, at least.*
If I was going to suggest anything, I would again suggest the green tea capsules or tablets, used as directed. They are gentle and unless it says otherwise on the instructions, I believe they can be used by anyone as a gentle metabolism-booster which will, over time, help with your weight.
ugh, my blood pressure was doing better today and i get a call from my sister. Shes been trying to help us save the house using her unemployment, so shes finally helping. Shes catching up with the association bill. She tells me to try to call the water company because its behind. Im struggling to save up money to help with the bills. The electricity went from $90 to $210. My car company let me stop payments on my car for 6 months, but now i am paying my car bill again.

I keep saying this, but i wish i had never moved out of my childhood home. I wish i could go back, but i know thats not possible. My brother was letting me catch up with my things and not making me help out until i was more stable. Thats the home i had to leave because my brother cant stand my cats. i should have just avoided arguing and kept to myself.

Every time i think about how my credit is now ruined, and i cant save up for my own place. I just start feeling my frustration grow. im scared of being sued and the credit card companies getting into my pay, which i have read happens. I just need a chance to get on my feet. Everything in this house is breaking. The fridge wont last long, the washing machine just broke, and my sisters moronic husband broke the water heater.

The mortgage is insanely behind and my sisters trying to fix that too. Apparently shes "borrowing" money from someone. She wants to lower the mortgage and catch up with things. but then thats another monthly bill. Her unemployment wont last long, and she doesnt seem interested in holding down a real job.

But i feel panic as i feel the money i have slipping through my fingers. i find myself even getting frustrated by the cost of having two cats. The food, the litter, and the snacks. I haven't taken them yet for their yearly checkup, but thats another cost. I feel awful, but i sometimes wish i had waited to have pets until i had more money. I love them dearly, and im grateful to have them. I pray they live long, and healthy lives. I just get frustrated sometimes. Providing for them is not cheap. Wherever i go from here on out will have to be a place that accepts pets. :frustrated:

I need a place to stay where i can focus on getting my own things fixed and paid off. But i have no where to go. My oldest brother has started fixing his new house, but i dont know when he will start fixing a place for me. It could take a very long time. His focus is on fixing the main house, and doing a hang out spot for himself on the property. The money it takes for a mobile, or to build a place for me to stay could take years potentially because both are so expensive. And hes just used up his savings buying this house.

Thank God for the money we were sent as relief during the virus, that will pay for my health insurance deductible for this year. But now i need to save up another $1500 for next year. I try not to think about these things, but i start to feel panicked when i realize that its just not enough. After 2 years my sister is finally helping, but its just not enough.

Sorry, i started feeling panicked all of the sudden, and i know thats not a good thing with all the health issues i am having. i read once that stress is one of the worse things for the body.
 

tarasgirl06

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ugh, my blood pressure was doing better today and i get a call from my sister. Shes been trying to help us save the house using her unemployment, so shes finally helping. Shes catching up with the association bill. She tells me to try to call the water company because its behind. Im struggling to save up money to help with the bills. The electricity went from $90 to $210. My car company let me stop payments on my car for 6 months, but now i am paying my car bill again.

I keep saying this, but i wish i had never moved out of my childhood home. I wish i could go back, but i know thats not possible. My brother was letting me catch up with my things and not making me help out until i was more stable. Thats the home i had to leave because my brother cant stand my cats. i should have just avoided arguing and kept to myself.

Every time i think about how my credit is now ruined, and i cant save up for my own place. I just start feeling my frustration grow. im scared of being sued and the credit card companies getting into my pay, which i have read happens. I just need a chance to get on my feet. Everything in this house is breaking. The fridge wont last long, the washing machine just broke, and my sisters moronic husband broke the water heater.

The mortgage is insanely behind and my sisters trying to fix that too. Apparently shes "borrowing" money from someone. She wants to lower the mortgage and catch up with things. but then thats another monthly bill. Her unemployment wont last long, and she doesnt seem interested in holding down a real job.

But i feel panic as i feel the money i have slipping through my fingers. i find myself even getting frustrated by the cost of having two cats. The food, the litter, and the snacks. I haven't taken them yet for their yearly checkup, but thats another cost. I feel awful, but i sometimes wish i had waited to have pets until i had more money. I love them dearly, and im grateful to have them. I pray they live long, and healthy lives. I just get frustrated sometimes. Providing for them is not cheap. Wherever i go from here on out will have to be a place that accepts pets. :frustrated:

I need a place to stay where i can focus on getting my own things fixed and paid off. But i have no where to go. My oldest brother has started fixing his new house, but i dont know when he will start fixing a place for me. It could take a very long time. His focus is on fixing the main house, and doing a hang out spot for himself on the property. The money it takes for a mobile, or to build a place for me to stay could take years potentially because both are so expensive. And hes just used up his savings buying this house.

Thank God for the money we were sent as relief during the virus, that will pay for my health insurance deductible for this year. But now i need to save up another $1500 for next year. I try not to think about these things, but i start to feel panicked when i realize that its just not enough. After 2 years my sister is finally helping, but its just not enough.

Sorry, i started feeling panicked all of the sudden, and i know thats not a good thing with all the health issues i am having. i read once that stress is one of the worse things for the body.
Yes, it is, and sometimes you just have to let go. Let your sister, who is responsible for the house, TAKE responsibility. If she's started, let her continue. As for the rest, it is not your responsibility and it is not in your hands. I always pray in these situations (and all others, too) and know that I've gotten through all of the other terrible times to still be here. You have, too.

Take it day to day, or hour by hour, or minute by minute. Keep your priorities straight. Take care of your loved ones (your CATS) and yourself. NOTHING ELSE is your responsibility.
 

Talien

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Sorry, i started feeling panicked all of the sudden, and i know thats not a good thing with all the health issues i am having. i read once that stress is one of the worse things for the body.
It is. Stress is bad no matter how healthy you are, and it has effects beyond general health and wellbeing. You know the sayings like "He gives me gray hairs"? Enough stress can literally make you old before your time.
 
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terestrife

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Yes, it is, and sometimes you just have to let go. Let your sister, who is responsible for the house, TAKE responsibility. If she's started, let her continue. As for the rest, it is not your responsibility and it is not in your hands. I always pray in these situations (and all others, too) and know that I've gotten through all of the other terrible times to still be here. You have, too.

Take it day to day, or hour by hour, or minute by minute. Keep your priorities straight. Take care of your loved ones (your CATS) and yourself. NOTHING ELSE is your responsibility.
Thank you, that made me feel a lot better. I know it sounds silly, but when i stress my heart starts racing and i start feeling faint. I know i am going to feel jittery all day. I have to learn to stay calm. But its hard for me to do that.

I do have to say that i have kept up with walking for two weeks with no back pain. Its been helping my mood. Its only when stressful things happen that i am brought back to stressing.

I have to do what you said and pray for change, and for patience.

It is. Stress is bad no matter how healthy you are, and it has effects beyond general health and wellbeing. You know the sayings like "He gives me gray hairs"? Enough stress can literally make you old before your time.
I know, i used to try to convince my mom to stop stressing because it was making her sick (she passed of cancer.) But its hard for me to change. I have always been the type to stress, and get anxious easily. lol I dont know how to change at my age.

So you can understand what i am like, the other day i was lying down trying to sleep. I randomly remember news stories that i read months ago about a cat that drowned in a washing machine, as the owner didnt know the cat was in there... then i remembered a story of a an outdoor cat that died after strangers tortured the cat.

Then my heart is suddenly racing and i cant sleep because i am devastated thinking of these cats. I will actually break down crying over these random cats. And i am stuck in bed trying not to think about these cats.... Then i start worrying about something similar happening to my cats and i cant sleep even more...

My mind goes to such awful places and then it starts tormenting me. :sigh: I have always been this way, and not sure how to stop it.
 
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tarasgirl06

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Big props to you for keeping up with your walking. And you are having positive results that you can feel. So keep it up! No matter what, keep doing it, even on days you may "not feel like it" because it is helping you. This is what I do with working out. There are days I'm "too tired" or "too busy" or "too down" and I push myself. And like every other time, IT HELPS. Because exercise heightens endorphins, which are our natural "feel-good medicine".
As far as changing, at any age, YOU CAN. I have changed many, many things in terms of habits and thought patterns. Not with doctors, coaches, programs or anything else. Just by myself. And I am a normal person. I am also older than you. If I can do it, you can do it. When I set some big goals for myself, I always had an end "present" for myself in mind. When I liked my own cooking (and a lot of restaurants) too much, I set the goal and the "present" was that if I reached the goal -- actually WHEN, not "if" -- I would buy myself a top in the size I wanted to attain. It happened, and I did. And I maintain it. Because I feel good being small, not only in terms of how I look but also in terms of not carrying extra weight on my terrible feet, and in hot weather. Yes, I eat things I like -- but the "treats" are in small portions. I don't do restaurants any more because I can't afford them and even if I could, I would not be able to go to the ones I love because they are too far away and my roomies don't eat that kind of food. I also don't make the extra-over-the-top rich dishes any more. What you don't have, IMHO, you don't miss.
And as for those, what I call atrocity stories, I do not see/read them. I refuse to. These things that happen will not un-happen because I am aware of them. All that would happen would be that I would make myself sick with stress, anger, and sorrow. So I do not do that. If I happen to come across something sad, which I do every day, many times, in my work, my answer is to say a Prayer for that soul, who is beyond all pain anyway! If it is someone still here and in need, I help in doing my work. And then I must leave it in the Care of the Almighty. People who delve into these horrifically bad things do themselves great harm, and do those they are about no good. So I would ask you not to. You have plenty and then some on your plate as it is.
 
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