Venting....

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terestrife

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Yeah, sociopaths can exist in society, so they say, but they can also be very dangerous. Cross them and you can be in bad trouble. It's always all about THEM, and any slight can be taken as an invitation to them to declare war. And they can be extremely persuasive and manipulative, which is why you find so many of them in successful positions. Since my dealings with that one, I have learned to have kind of a finely honed sense of them and so I try to avoid them. I guess that's the positive part of that story. Life lessons learned.
What a great fix for your beloved cats, terestrife terestrife and Kitty looks so adorable in that pic! Elsa, too, in hers. So your nephew can be near them and visit them without causing them (even more) stress.
So glad your back is some better! Hoping that continues.
Yeah, that spray on that guy's chair would have been SO deserved. :insertevillaugh: *Oh, Talien Talien . What have you started here?!!*

We had trash issues here, too. My roomie has some things about her which can be a bit difficult. She's even more hyper than I am, and she drops things a LOT. So there has been a lot of food and plastic packaging and stuff on the floors that didn't make it to the trash because she's very flighty and just doesn't look. I've had to talk to her several times about this. Her husband backs me up on the fact that she isn't careful about this. So what we've ended up doing is that we keep a plastic bag on the back door and she'll put discarded packaging in that. When it's full, whichever one of us is there will take it out to the rubbish and then put up a new bag. And with the floors, she uses a Swiffer to get up stuff, and then I deep clean with a deck mop and cleaner in between. So it's pretty much solved this problem.
I have never met a sociopath, hopefully i never do. :sigh: Wouldnt even know what to look for.

We dont really have much of a mess with the trash. He just doesnt want the chore of taking out the trash. My niece and i do all the cleaning and picking up. oh well, i dont stress about it, just thought it was silly. lol You guys dont have a recycle bin in your neighborhood? We have one in ours, we just take out plastics/boxes at the end of the day. We have a normal trash bin, and a recycle bin that they pick up a few times a month.

Ah, Read some of the "office pranks" section, lots of good ideas there.
lol didnt know we had a section like that. My last job was really fun, my boss loved pranks. So we would annoy each other with pranks. lol

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i have the pet gates up without using the nails to attach it to the wall. My sister doesnt want any holes in her walls. So today my nephew grabs the baby gate and yanks it down on himself. We put it up and he proceeds to try again. :angryfire: My niece had to scold him and put him on his high chair. Not sure how i can make it more stable without screws. I had that gate as tight as i could make it. It was even hard to open and close it because i wanted it to be safe. I tried putting command no damage strips (the kind you can use to put up frames) but it doesnt feel any sturdier.
 
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What if you promise to fill and paint the nail holes? Really there's no way to make a pressure gate totally secure :/.
Amazon.com : Vmaisi Baby Gate Wall Cup Protector Make Pressure Mounted Safety Gates More Stable - Wall Damage-Free - Fit for Doorway, Door Frame, Baseboard - Work on Dog & Pet Gates : Baby

I bought a product that supposedly makes the gate more stable. if that fails, then i'll ask my sister about drilling the gate into the wall. It seems to have good reviews, so we'll see.
 

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Amazon.com : Vmaisi Baby Gate Wall Cup Protector Make Pressure Mounted Safety Gates More Stable - Wall Damage-Free - Fit for Doorway, Door Frame, Baseboard - Work on Dog & Pet Gates : Baby

I bought a product that supposedly makes the gate more stable. if that fails, then i'll ask my sister about drilling the gate into the wall. It seems to have good reviews, so we'll see.
You can patch and paint any drilled holes. She doesn't need to worry about that. I've done it myself and if I can do it, anyone can. ;) I drilled to install one of the cat window seats because there have been, and are, some big cats in this family and they can be very active. I would never want them to be spooked by jumping onto the perch and having it fall. So it's very secure and yes, those holes can easily be patched and painted.
Well, sociopaths are amoral, but they can be good at masking it, making the right comments as if they truly have feelings. (They don't) If you have good intuition, though, you will get "a feeling" about people like this. Always listen to it! It is our Creator giving us a warning. This may be helpful: Sociopath vs. Psychopath: What’s the Difference? BOTH are to be avoided! and they aren't always violent. But they are always dangerous.
Yes, our city has "mandatory" recycling and they give each household three bins for outside collection; but for in the house, the plastic bag thing works. There's a lot of trash with 3 people and 3 cats!
 

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I have never met a sociopath, hopefully i never do. :sigh: Wouldnt even know what to look for.
Actually, you probably have and just didn't realize it. Not all sociopaths are creepy, many are quite intelligent and know how to "fit in" even though they often lack any kind of morals. They know right from wrong, they just have nothing holding them back from doing whatever they want aside from the knowledge that "if I do this, I can be in deep trouble." They can be very charming and manipulative and are often good at getting people to do what they want.

Identity thieves, scammers, and particularly those who prey on the elderly are often sociopaths because it's much easier to get away with those kinds of crimes.
 
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You can patch and paint any drilled holes. She doesn't need to worry about that. I've done it myself and if I can do it, anyone can. ;) I drilled to install one of the cat window seats because there have been, and are, some big cats in this family and they can be very active. I would never want them to be spooked by jumping onto the perch and having it fall. So it's very secure and yes, those holes can easily be patched and painted.
Well, sociopaths are amoral, but they can be good at masking it, making the right comments as if they truly have feelings. (They don't) If you have good intuition, though, you will get "a feeling" about people like this. Always listen to it! It is our Creator giving us a warning. This may be helpful: Sociopath vs. Psychopath: What’s the Difference? BOTH are to be avoided! and they aren't always violent. But they are always dangerous.
Yes, our city has "mandatory" recycling and they give each household three bins for outside collection; but for in the house, the plastic bag thing works. There's a lot of trash with 3 people and 3 cats!
I just got the product from amazon. The gate seems a lot more steady and stable. If he manages to bring it down, then i will screw it into the wall. I've patched up holes before, just dont want to deal with my sister complaining. lol I doubt he will get it down though, it was hard to even move it around to get it leveled.

Thanks for the link. It really opened my eyes. I always try to give people chances and i am kind to everyone. This makes me see that i should be more careful. :( Its scary to think they can be charming and mimic emotions. Its always been so beyond my comprehension to think of someone not feeling anything at all. That makes me sad, how can you enjoy life without those moments of happiness?

lol im so overly emotional that i start crying at random times over mistakes i made years ago. We were watching videos on disney world, and i remembered being in my 20s. My mom had fallen during that time and had pain while walking. So we had to push her in a wheelchair all over the park. Of course, me being selfish, i just had to complain about it. Not even sure why it bothered me, it wasnt a big deal looking back. Made me start to cry, especially knowing that she probably had pancreatic cancer already and we just didnt know about it. i'm just thankful i matured over the years and became the person that helped my mom the most in her last years. You know, sometimes i have this awful thought that i am alone now because i havent always been the greatest person. That maybe it'll be my punishment to end up alone without a partner or kids. I know that sounds insane, but thats been going through my mind since my mom passed away.

LOL sorry i went off on a tangent for some reason. Been crying most of today.


Actually, you probably have and just didn't realize it. Not all sociopaths are creepy, many are quite intelligent and know how to "fit in" even though they often lack any kind of morals. They know right from wrong, they just have nothing holding them back from doing whatever they want aside from the knowledge that "if I do this, I can be in deep trouble." They can be very charming and manipulative and are often good at getting people to do what they want.

Identity thieves, scammers, and particularly those who prey on the elderly are often sociopaths because it's much easier to get away with those kinds of crimes.
It still seems so strange to think that you are talking to someone, and they are acting empathetic, but they dont actually feel anything. I have heard about sociopaths/psychopaths of course, but just never crossed my mind i might meet one.

Since i've been home i have been watching crime documentaries. This really brings to mind Ted Bundy. So many people didnt want to see him for what he really was because he was so charming. Until today people are still fascinated by him.
 

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I just got the product from amazon. The gate seems a lot more steady and stable. If he manages to bring it down, then i will screw it into the wall. I've patched up holes before, just dont want to deal with my sister complaining. lol I doubt he will get it down though, it was hard to even move it around to get it leveled.

Thanks for the link. It really opened my eyes. I always try to give people chances and i am kind to everyone. This makes me see that i should be more careful. :( Its scary to think they can be charming and mimic emotions. Its always been so beyond my comprehension to think of someone not feeling anything at all. That makes me sad, how can you enjoy life without those moments of happiness?

lol im so overly emotional that i start crying at random times over mistakes i made years ago. We were watching videos on disney world, and i remembered being in my 20s. My mom had fallen during that time and had pain while walking. So we had to push her in a wheelchair all over the park. Of course, me being selfish, i just had to complain about it. Not even sure why it bothered me, it wasnt a big deal looking back. Made me start to cry, especially knowing that she probably had pancreatic cancer already and we just didnt know about it. i'm just thankful i matured over the years and became the person that helped my mom the most in her last years. You know, sometimes i have this awful thought that i am alone now because i havent always been the greatest person. That maybe it'll be my punishment to end up alone without a partner or kids. I know that sounds insane, but thats been going through my mind since my mom passed away.

LOL sorry i went off on a tangent for some reason. Been crying most of today.




It still seems so strange to think that you are talking to someone, and they are acting empathetic, but they dont actually feel anything. I have heard about sociopaths/psychopaths of course, but just never crossed my mind i might meet one.

Since i've been home i have been watching crime documentaries. This really brings to mind Ted Bundy. So many people didnt want to see him for what he really was because he was so charming. Until today people are still fascinated by him.
Yes, people are generally fascinated by things they don't understand. We want to know what makes them tick. I'm a true crime buff and I've always loved mysteries. But in reality, these people IMHO are just pure evil. I know there's a huge debate over capital punishment and all, but as these people have no natural checks and balances to keep them from harming others, and they WILL harm others given the chance, and they are not "reformable" I don't see any place for the violent ones in society. Again, my opinion. But the knowledge that there are quite a few of these running around at any given time is NOT good.
About your mom, I was the same way about mine when she started really showing her illness. I think it's fairly natural. There is a saying among the wise people of Jamaica -- "who feels it, knows it" meaning that unless we experience something ourselves, it's difficult, even if we are caring, compassionate and empathetic, to actually KNOW what someone else is feeling. I think (or I want to think) that our moms were wise enough to know that and not think we were uncaring -- just ignorant in the true sense of the word.
And as for the "punishment" you write of, well, society deems that scenario to be less than happy but having been in relationships and single, I'd say there are pros and cons with both.
 
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the same way about mine when she started really showing her illness. I think it's fairly natural. There is a saying among the wise people of Jamaica -- "who feels it, knows it" meaning that unless we experience something ourselves, it's difficult, even if we are caring, compassionate and empathetic, to actually KNOW what someone else is feeling. I think (or I want to think) that our moms were wise enough to know that and not think we were uncaring -- just ignorant in the true sense of the word.
And as for the "punishment" you write of, well, society deems that scenario to be less than happy but having been in relationships and single, I'd say there are pr
I agree. I've always watched crime documentaries and found them interesting. I understand the death penalty was taken away because of innocent people being executed. But i dont understand them being in prison all of their lives. I have even heard of teens being set free as adults because the killed as teenagers. Even though they were charged with life with no parole. That is insane to me. It gets to me sometimes, especially criminals that are out there living free. There are so many of them! So many that killed, but were given protection because they became a witness. Just makes me loose faith in our justice system.


I know my mom understood. We are very similar after all. She would turn to anger when she was scared or sad. I remember a few months before we found out she had cancer, she suddenly looked so angry and said she sometimes felt like not living because of all the struggles we had. I didnt understand what she meant then, just tried to calm her down, and talk to her.

When she got close to passing, she thanked me for taking care of her, and told me God would send me a blessing. I remember feeling so much anger when she got sick. Seeing her in pain, made me feel so angry, and lost. i grew up so much after her passing. I felt like a child that didnt understand anything, even though i wasnt young at the time. lol

Anyway, Some friends at an old job sent me a funny picture of them in a meeting, so i sent them a funny snap chat picture i took. A coworker made a comment thats brought me down. She was very kind to me while i was there, and helped me with work that she didnt need to help with. But shes extremely blunt. lol I tell her she has a heart hidden behind thorns.

Anyway, she send me a message that the quarantine has affected me badly and that i "blew up." Meaning i have gained weight. Made me feel bad. I finally feel a bit better now that i am exercising. My breathing has improved, and i have started doing chores around the house. I was stuck in bed in pain for so long. I have even started eating healthier. Two weeks without fast food, which is a miracle for me. lol

I have always struggled with eating disorder issues, so my negative thought was to start restricting so i can lose weight faster. But i know that wont solve anything. Especially with the medication that makes me hungry all the time. I wake up in the middle of the night with such horrible hunger. I get nausea if i dont eat regularly. Its been hard trying to force myself to eat normal portions.

Just one of those days. :sigh: Why do people feel compelled to comment on things like weight? I dont mind if it comes from a place of concern.I have had family express concern about my weight. I dont mind that at all, and understand their concern. But comments like that remind of how my father who thought insulting me/obsessing about my weight, would force me to lose weight. Just brings back negative feelings.
 

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I've seen you should never comment negatively on someone's appearance if it's not something they can fix right away (like spinach in teeth or skirt tucked into underwear) and that seems like a fair way to do it. I mean, if someone were to ask advice on something, that's one thing, but it astonishes me what people will just say without thinking about it.

Of your breathing has improved, that's excellent progress! And slow and steady is generally the healthier way to go, anyway. I think you're doing great!
 
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I've seen you should never comment negatively on someone's appearance if it's not something they can fix right away (like spinach in teeth or skirt tucked into underwear) and that seems like a fair way to do it. I mean, if someone were to ask advice on something, that's one thing, but it astonishes me what people will just say without thinking about it.

Of your breathing has improved, that's excellent progress! And slow and steady is generally the healthier way to go, anyway. I think you're doing great!
Thats what i was taught too. But i guess not everyone has learned that, and people use the excuse that they are just being "honest." I have heard people say that. :(

Yes, i would just go down the stairs and my breathing would get agitated, i was constantly saying that i felt like i couldnt breathe. I've been feeling so great that today, i used a trick i saw online to give my cats bed and tree a good cleaning. I found out that surgical gloves easily remove cat hair. Never seen cat hair lift like that. My cats bed looks brand new again.:flail:
 

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Thats what i was taught too. But i guess not everyone has learned that, and people use the excuse that they are just being "honest." I have heard people say that. :(

Yes, i would just go down the stairs and my breathing would get agitated, i was constantly saying that i felt like i couldnt breathe. I've been feeling so great that today, i used a trick i saw online to give my cats bed and tree a good cleaning. I found out that surgical gloves easily remove cat hair. Never seen cat hair lift like that. My cats bed looks brand new again.:flail:
Thanks for letting us know about that! I'd never heard that, either. I know a SOFT dry sponge is excellent for that, and also a cat slicker brush raked gently across the fabric surface (not for other things, though!)
Well, a lot of people didn't ever get taught what my folks always called, "manners" and they'll just say anything that comes to mind, sometimes the crueller, the better. I avoid those people, too. I reconnected with an old school friend who revealed herself to be like that. I don't talk to her much now. Maybe she has a good heart. IDK. But life's way too complicated and harsh to deal with that kind of stuff from people who say they're your friends. "Frenemies" need not apply here, thanks.
Oh, I agree 100% with you on the crime issues. Most, if not all, major spiritual ideologies DO allow for capital punishment and they lay out the conditions under which it should be applied. I used to think I opposed it, because of the chance of innocent people being wrongly executed and also because of the families of the perpetrators, who grieve their loss of them. But upon more reflection, I have to say I care more about those whose lives are taken by these perpetrators, and their families, who will never have them back here on earth. People say it is not a deterrent. I say it's absolutely a deterrent to those who have it carried out on them. They'll never do that again, to anyone else. That is why it's condoned and mandated by most religious doctrines. And it shouldn't matter who the taker of life is (position in society, wealth or lack of it, etc.) -- anyone that takes the life of someone else, except in self-defense, defense of others, or one's own property, needs to be considered seriously for it, IMHO. If people study history, the western societies are unbelievably lenient compared to most others, and IMHO this is why there is so much killing with impunity (and other serious crimes). It's one reason why people say there is no justice. To turn someone loose on a technicality just perpetrates this kind of betrayal of justice. And while some "experts" say kids' minds aren't fully formed and that they can't make adult decisions, if they KILL, to me, that's all the reason I need to try them as adults.

It can't be easy or pleasant to have to deal with the health issues our moms dealt with. To pass away quickly is one thing, but to have a painful lingering illness must make a person feel like your mom said, at times. My mom had COPD and congestive heart failure. She had to be on oxygen for the last few months of her life. And at the end, she had to be on morphine. I wouldn't wish that on someone as amazing and giving and loving as my mom! This is why as far as I'm concerned, it's war on the tobacco companies.
 

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Thats what i was taught too. But i guess not everyone has learned that, and people use the excuse that they are just being "honest." I have heard people say that. :(

Yes, i would just go down the stairs and my breathing would get agitated, i was constantly saying that i felt like i couldnt breathe. I've been feeling so great that today, i used a trick i saw online to give my cats bed and tree a good cleaning. I found out that surgical gloves easily remove cat hair. Never seen cat hair lift like that. My cats bed looks brand new again.:flail:
I'm not really the most tactful person but I don't go around commenting on stuff like that unless someone asks, in which case I will give my honest opinion regardless of how it may sound. People usually regret asking me something like "does this make me look fat?" or "does this make my butt look big?"

This is the best thing I have ever used for getting Cat hair off of any kind of fabric. Clothes, furniture, blankets.....about the only thing it doesn't pull hair off of is the Cats themselves.

 

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I'm not really the most tactful person but I don't go around commenting on stuff like that unless someone asks, in which case I will give my honest opinion regardless of how it may sound. People usually regret asking me something like "does this make me look fat?" or "does this make my butt look big?"

This is the best thing I have ever used for getting Cat hair off of any kind of fabric. Clothes, furniture, blankets.....about the only thing it doesn't pull hair off of is the Cats themselves.

[/URL]
I have one similar to this and you're right, it REALLY works.
But...but DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE A WALMARTIAN??? :crackup:
 
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Thanks for letting us know about that! I'd never heard that, either. I know a SOFT dry sponge is excellent for that, and also a cat slicker brush raked gently across the fabric surface (not for other things, though!)
Well, a lot of people didn't ever get taught what my folks always called, "manners" and they'll just say anything that comes to mind, sometimes the crueller, the better. I avoid those people, too. I reconnected with an old school friend who revealed herself to be like that. I don't talk to her much now. Maybe she has a good heart. IDK. But life's way too complicated and harsh to deal with that kind of stuff from people who say they're your friends. "Frenemies" need not apply here, thanks.
Oh, I agree 100% with you on the crime issues. Most, if not all, major spiritual ideologies DO allow for capital punishment and they lay out the conditions under which it should be applied. I used to think I opposed it, because of the chance of innocent people being wrongly executed and also because of the families of the perpetrators, who grieve their loss of them. But upon more reflection, I have to say I care more about those whose lives are taken by these perpetrators, and their families, who will never have them back here on earth. People say it is not a deterrent. I say it's absolutely a deterrent to those who have it carried out on them. They'll never do that again, to anyone else. That is why it's condoned and mandated by most religious doctrines. And it shouldn't matter who the taker of life is (position in society, wealth or lack of it, etc.) -- anyone that takes the life of someone else, except in self-defense, defense of others, or one's own property, needs to be considered seriously for it, IMHO. If people study history, the western societies are unbelievably lenient compared to most others, and IMHO this is why there is so much killing with impunity (and other serious crimes). It's one reason why people say there is no justice. To turn someone loose on a technicality just perpetrates this kind of betrayal of justice. And while some "experts" say kids' minds aren't fully formed and that they can't make adult decisions, if they KILL, to me, that's all the reason I need to try them as adults.

It can't be easy or pleasant to have to deal with the health issues our moms dealt with. To pass away quickly is one thing, but to have a painful lingering illness must make a person feel like your mom said, at times. My mom had COPD and congestive heart failure. She had to be on oxygen for the last few months of her life. And at the end, she had to be on morphine. I wouldn't wish that on someone as amazing and giving and loving as my mom! This is why as far as I'm concerned, it's war on the tobacco companies.
Yes, i was reading i could use a sponge to clean her cat tree, and that it would pick up hairs. Might try giving their trees a deeper cleaning. I have tried to pick up cat hair from fabric with a vacuum, lint roller, and the gloves you use to get hair off your cat. But the surgical gloves worked so well.

I agree with your sentiment. As much as i like this old coworker i will try to keep my distance and just answer kindly if she sends me any texts. I dont want to burn any bridges. But i wont be keeping in touch like i used to.

We both have a similar frame of thought when it comes to people to commit murders. Sometimes i think schools should enforce some kind of mental health treatment in schools. Nothing drastic, but enough to catch kids who could be going down that path. I have no idea if there is anything that can actually help these people. Or if they are just born evil, or a product of how they were raised. I am not sure, but things have to change. Theres so many horrible people out there. I was just watching a news report of a mother than threw her 9 year old autistic son into the water to drown, strangers saved him. So an hour later, she tried again, and succeeded. Broke my heart to see that news. Especially when his school put up a video of him learning in class. :sigh:

I'm so sorry about what your mom went through. My mom was on oxygen as well, and was intubated once. Its not easy to see one of the most important people to you struggling like that. Did your mom smoke? My mom smoked on and off for many years. I truly believe that contributed to her cancer. I will never in my life smoke. That stuff is horrible, and destroys your lungs. I still remember the way my mom would cough at night (her lungs had tumors too).


I'm not really the most tactful person but I don't go around commenting on stuff like that unless someone asks, in which case I will give my honest opinion regardless of how it may sound. People usually regret asking me something like "does this make me look fat?" or "does this make my butt look big?"

This is the best thing I have ever used for getting Cat hair off of any kind of fabric. Clothes, furniture, blankets.....about the only thing it doesn't pull hair off of is the Cats themselves.

[/URL]
I think its fine when someone asks your opinion. I appreciate honesty. But some things are painful to hear, which is why i avoid talking about my appearance/weight unless its people i trust. Like my family, and people here on this forum. I wish people would at least think first before commenting something without being asked. This coworker gained weight because she went through a similar health issue. I cant even imagine going up to her and commenting on her weight. I just dont get it.

Thanks for the link! Havent seen that product before. I'll look into it. I have been trying to clean my cats bed for months. I tried running it through the washer/dryer, using a lint roller, a vacuum, and a fur removal glove. I was about to toss the bed since the hair wouldnt come off. The surgical gloves made the hairs come out right away. Really shocked me. I just wipe with the gloves, and use a handheld vacuum to get the hair off the gloves as i clean. lol
 

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Yes, i was reading i could use a sponge to clean her cat tree, and that it would pick up hairs. Might try giving their trees a deeper cleaning. I have tried to pick up cat hair from fabric with a vacuum, lint roller, and the gloves you use to get hair off your cat. But the surgical gloves worked so well.

I agree with your sentiment. As much as i like this old coworker i will try to keep my distance and just answer kindly if she sends me any texts. I dont want to burn any bridges. But i wont be keeping in touch like i used to.

We both have a similar frame of thought when it comes to people to commit murders. Sometimes i think schools should enforce some kind of mental health treatment in schools. Nothing drastic, but enough to catch kids who could be going down that path. I have no idea if there is anything that can actually help these people. Or if they are just born evil, or a product of how they were raised. I am not sure, but things have to change. Theres so many horrible people out there. I was just watching a news report of a mother than threw her 9 year old autistic son into the water to drown, strangers saved him. So an hour later, she tried again, and succeeded. Broke my heart to see that news. Especially when his school put up a video of him learning in class. :sigh:

I'm so sorry about what your mom went through. My mom was on oxygen as well, and was intubated once. Its not easy to see one of the most important people to you struggling like that. Did your mom smoke? My mom smoked on and off for many years. I truly believe that contributed to her cancer. I will never in my life smoke. That stuff is horrible, and destroys your lungs. I still remember the way my mom would cough at night (her lungs had tumors too).




I think its fine when someone asks your opinion. I appreciate honesty. But some things are painful to hear, which is why i avoid talking about my appearance/weight unless its people i trust. Like my family, and people here on this forum. I wish people would at least think first before commenting something without being asked. This coworker gained weight because she went through a similar health issue. I cant even imagine going up to her and commenting on her weight. I just dont get it.

Thanks for the link! Havent seen that product before. I'll look into it. I have been trying to clean my cats bed for months. I tried running it through the washer/dryer, using a lint roller, a vacuum, and a fur removal glove. I was about to toss the bed since the hair wouldnt come off. The surgical gloves made the hairs come out right away. Really shocked me. I just wipe with the gloves, and use a handheld vacuum to get the hair off the gloves as i clean. lol
Yes, my mom smoked. She had a lot of fancy cigarette holders and looked like a movie star, some say; so it fit with the whole image. That's why I'm in a war with Big Tobacco -- they pushed this for so long and now that it isn't really popular here, they've taken it elsewhere and it's doing the same thing to, for instance, the Chinese population that it did here. I used to spend a lot of time in some parts of L.A. with majority Chinese populations and it seemed like every young guy smoked. Again, it's an image thing. SO sad and mad about this. I see a lot of people in the US southern states smoke a lot, too.
 
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Yes, my mom smoked. She had a lot of fancy cigarette holders and looked like a movie star, some say; so it fit with the whole image. That's why I'm in a war with Big Tobacco -- they pushed this for so long and now that it isn't really popular here, they've taken it elsewhere and it's doing the same thing to, for instance, the Chinese population that it did here. I used to spend a lot of time in some parts of L.A. with majority Chinese populations and it seemed like every young guy smoked. Again, it's an image thing. SO sad and mad about this. I see a lot of people in the US southern states smoke a lot, too.
I feel the same way about tobacco companies. I know humans have free will, but i dont understand allowing companies to sell poison that makes people sick. But it shows the government doesnt care about their people.

Just found out my sisters other daughter will be coming down to miami for a month. We think shes staying with her husbands family, but arent sure. I dont think she'll stay over there long as that family is having serious marital issues.

I am happy shes coming down. But stressed out. Every time anyone stays over its a huge mess. Since its a month, they probably brought all their animals, so im not sure how my cats will handle that. They have 3 dogs and a cat.

What really has me stressed is my sister is coming down for a week in july. I have been so upset lately that i avoid talking to her as much as possible. Just hearing her talking to her daughter (the one i live with) and hearing that my sister is home relaxing, doing her exercising, and dieting. Meanwhile, we are on the verge of losing this house (that is under her name). Trying to control everyones money while she does nothing. I also really do not like her husband. Hes the type to argue the sky is purple, and wont believe anything else. lol So i avoid talking to him as much as possible.

I know i sound selfish. But except for my nephews obsession with my cats, this house has been so incredibly peaceful lately. I sense this month will be hectic.
 
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I feel the same way about tobacco companies. I know humans have free will, but i dont understand allowing companies to sell poison that makes people sick. But it shows the government doesnt care about their people.

Just found out my sisters other daughter will be coming down to miami for a month. We think shes staying with her husbands family, but arent sure. I dont think she'll stay over there long as that family is having serious marital issues.

I am happy shes coming down. But stressed out. Every time anyone stays over its a huge mess. Since its a month, they probably brought all their animals, so im not sure how my cats will handle that. They have 3 dogs and a cat.

What really has me stressed is my sister is coming down for a week in july. I have been so upset lately that i avoid talking to her as much as possible. Just hearing her talking to her daughter (the one i live with) and hearing that my sister is home relaxing, doing her exercising, and dieting. Meanwhile, we are on the verge of losing this house (that is under her name). Trying to control everyones money while she does nothing. I also really do not like her husband. Hes the type to argue the sky is purple, and wont believe anything else. lol So i avoid talking to him as much as possible.

I know i sound selfish. But except for my nephews obsession with my cats, this house has been so incredibly peaceful lately. I sense this month will be hectic.
No, you don't sound "selfish" at all! Quite the opposite, as you are having to deal with (sorry, but I have to be blunt here) very irresponsible people dumping a LOT of unwarranted stuff, and stress, on you. One thing I learned later than I should have is that I have to set limits and say "NO" when I've reached mine. Of course, having the degree of autonomy I have now makes that pretty easy in most instances. It hasn't always been that way, though, and I have also been through times of other people's negative influences on my life. It's easy for people to say, "do this" or "do that" and the problem goes away but real life isn't like that, especially in cases like yours where it's family, and where there's history. IMHO the best thing is to keep your eyes on that prize of getting out of there eventually, and don't let anything sidetrack you. Yes, this coming time will probably be a lot to handle but yes, it WILL end. So suck it up for now, and know that you're going to come out of it and keep on working for you and your beloved cats to get free of what sounds like a very stressful environment.
 
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Yes, this coming time will probably be a lot to handle but yes, it WILL end. So suck it up for now, and know that you're going to come out of it and keep on working for you and your beloved cats to get free of what sounds like a very stressful environment.
Thank you, i needed to hear that. :heartshape: Going to try to stick to myself as much as i can and keep an eye on the kitties.

I have the feeling my sister will try to nag me to help out more. With the issue of the association lien, she wants me to take care of that. But i cant afford that anymore.

I purchased flexjobs so she can try to find work from home. She had told me she wanted to find work. But she hasnt bothered looking at the site. lol We'll see what will happen. Like you said, i will just have to tell her "no" when i cant handle it anymore.
 

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Thank you, i needed to hear that. :heartshape: Going to try to stick to myself as much as i can and keep an eye on the kitties.

I have the feeling my sister will try to nag me to help out more. With the issue of the association lien, she wants me to take care of that. But i cant afford that anymore.

I purchased flexjobs so she can try to find work from home. She had told me she wanted to find work. But she hasnt bothered looking at the site. lol We'll see what will happen. Like you said, i will just have to tell her "no" when i cant handle it anymore.
"... Like you said, i will just have to tell her "no" when i cant handle it anymore." Of course you will do as you see fit! But personally, I wouldn't wait on that at all. You're already doing and taking on more than your share and if you let people take an inch, they'll take it all. Sometimes I just have to have an honest talk with people like that and be nice, but firm. Fortunately, it does tend to work out really well. Sometimes people just need to understand limits to respect us. We're human, too! And we have needs and wants.
If the house is theirs and not owned by you in any percentage, then it should definitely be on your family members to deal with the association. Legally, it would be on them anyway.
 
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