Venting....

[rubysmama]

What messes me up is that i over eat junk food. The sad thing is that i love fruits and vegetable, but unfortunately struggle with overeating sugary things. Im not sure what the answer is, i have tried eating junk food in small portions, that doesnt last long. I tried removing it completely, that didnt last long either.

I'm not overweight, but that doesn't mean I don't crave, and overeat at times, sugar and chocolate. And keeping it out of the house works somewhat.

However, what I'm finding has really helped me in these last few weeks is knowing once my sugary foods are gone, there won't be more till I go to the grocery store again, and since going for groceries is such a stressful event these days, I'm only going every 2 weeks or so. Therefore the sooner the chocolate, cookies, etc. are gone, the longer till I get to have them again. Therefore, I'm rationing chocolate bars and cookies to only a couple pieces a day. And interestingly, or maybe not, I think my cravings are lessening with the less sugary foods I'm eating.

I notice that the moment i give in (go to a fast food place, or reintroduce junk food) thats when i want the food the most, its really strange.

That totally makes sense.

Going go give it my all though. I feel so uncomfortable right now. I havent been this size in years, it is painful and all i want to do is sleep.

Hugs ...

 

[tarasgirl06]

People worry too much about what is normal, whether someone is too big or too small. I do think having health issues mean taking steps to improve yourself, which is why im trying to change.

Im glad you found ways that worked for you, hopefully i can do the same. Its so important to have good self esteem.

YES on all of the above! And for me, being as light as possible means my feet are not forced to carry more weight than necessary. Anything I can do to alleviate some of the pain is good.

 

[terestrife]

I'm not overweight, but that doesn't mean I don't crave, and overeat at times, sugar and chocolate. And keeping it out of the house works somewhat.

However, what I'm finding has really helped me in these last few weeks is knowing once my sugary foods are gone, there won't be more till I go to the grocery store again, and since going for groceries is such a stressful event these days, I'm only going every 2 weeks or so. Therefore the sooner the chocolate, cookies, etc. are gone, the longer till I get to have them again. Therefore, I'm rationing chocolate bars and cookies to only a couple pieces a day. And interestingly, or maybe not, I think my cravings are lessening with the less sugary foods I'm eating.



That totally makes sense.



Hugs ...

I've always been bad with portioning sugar. Not sure if removing them from my diet will stop the cravings, but i am at least going to try.

YES on all of the above! And for me, being as light as possible means my feet are not forced to carry more weight than necessary. Anything I can do to alleviate some of the pain is good.

I know what you mean, its painful the bigger you are. I feel the weight on my bones and muscles. Especially my back.

------


Venting about financial issues, please dont read if you are going through a hard time right now. Dont want to bring anyone down.


From what my sister has told me she thinks my nieces boyfriend isnt working anymore. He works in repairing houses, and doesnt seem to have work because of the virus stalling things. Its a common story right now. Thankfully i am still working, but there are rumors of us being potentially laid off.

I'm feeling guilty with some negative feelings i am having towards my sister. Ever since i have moved into this house my sister has been able to stay home. First it was understandable, her previous husband had cancer. An amazing man, and i am sad he is gone. Then i moved in right after he passed and she put off looking for work for a year. Then finally works and quits after a month to remarry her first boyfriend and moved to another state, leaving us to deal with this house. Her daughter (i live with her, her bf, and their child) doesnt pay any bills and gets to stay home for free. The boyfriend was only paying $600-800 monthly.

My sister says she wants to help us, which im grateful for as she doesnt live here anymore. She got a job with USPS a few months back, she hated the job, ended up getting injured in the job after a couple of weeks. Ended up with a concussion. I know this makes me sound horrible, but i sometimes wonder if she just wants to stay home and take money from others. And i get it, thats her right. Its just that this house isnt cheap. Thankfully i only pay utilities. But she sometimes asks for association money. There are times i have to tell her i dont have money, which i dont. My medical expenses arent cheap, i just finished paying $1500 for my d&c last year. I just had another d&c and it'll be around $900 total. Every visit includes a copay. The expenses never end.

Its cheaper living here than living anywhere else. Just frustrating, when i moved in she told me i could save up money so i could move out whenever i wanted. Instead i have been stuck helping her while she and her daughter refuse to work. I've ruined all my credit cards, and have no savings. I am grateful that she and her husband want to help us, but still feel resentful of how shes leaned on me these past few years.

They've been wasting money putting on the sprinklers, and she sends me a text to check if its broken (my nieces bf is the one putting it) she tells me to check it, because if not i'll be stuck paying a high water bill.

This sounds awful, but i cant wait till the day that i dont have to deal with her, her daughter, or the bf again. Im tired of her nagging and leaning on everyone. Again, i know i sound horrible. I could be living in a worse place. Im grateful for this home. Just feel overwhelmed because i just dont make enough. I'm already dealing with erratic mood swings with the hormone pills i've been stuck taking.

The other day my sister told us she hasnt paid the mortgage in months so the house is in foreclosure. They have given her 4 months to come up with the money, they were lenient because of the virus. Shes been trying to lower the mortgage. They might lower the mortgage to be 1000$.

I know everyone is struggling out there so i hope this post doesnt come off badly. Just been struggling financially for the past two years. I moved into this house with amazing credit, and its now destroyed from not paying my cards. Miami is known for having a high cost of living. I regret leaving my childhood home and genuinely wish i never had to leave there.

Sorry, i got so answer when my sister was telling me the water bill could be a thousand dollars if the sprinkler was leaking. All the anger and frustration from the past two years just came to me. I had to come in and write this out, because i suddenly felt like going out and buying junk food and i dont need that right now. lol i always turn to food when im upset and i cant do that anymore.

 

[terestrife]

sorry if my post was negative. i think being home gives me too much time to stress. lol

 

[Talien]

It's her house, and it's her own fault if she loses it because she's been totally irresponsible with it. It's just too bad you'll be stuck picking up the pieces.

I'm not going to tell you what I'd do if it was me in that situation, just that it wouldn't be pretty.

 

[Lari]

As someone who also has very negative feelings about her sister, albeit for different reasons, I feel you.

 

[tarasgirl06]

sorry if my post was negative. i think being home gives me too much time to stress. lol

With all you've got on your plate, IMHO you don't have to apologize to anyone about anything! We're all in unprecedented stress, and you've got far more than your share. Some of us are extremely fortunate, others less so, and some not very much at all. You seem to be on the low end of "others less so" right now. I'd probably be a blithering idiot if I was facing all of that. Huge props to you for shouldering all of these burdens, not going ballistic, and plodding on.
None of us knows where or when this will be over. I know I don't. The people I truly trust -- and they aren't many -- and turn to for help advise holding on. That's what I'm doing. I mean, we can either do that, or we can chop and change and that's really not advised right now.
Talien is right -- the house is NOT your "problem". Hang on in there for as long as you're able. It's very hard not to plan for the future (especially for someone like me, who's a planner all the time) but all you can do at this point is stay there, try not to go off if you can help it, do what you can to mitigate any potential problem with your housemates because it's to your advantage to do so, and if you're at all spiritual, turn There for comfort. I know I do every day.
A LOT of people are on the edge now. Many more probably will be before things level out. Something/things will have to be done to help those who, through no fault of their own, are unable to keep up with necessary expenses. Again, we don't know what that will be, but sometimes we have to, in the words of some, "Let go, let god." As I said, I'm a planner, but now I am reminding myself again and again to live for and in the now, not for the future. Stay as strong and well as you can, and know you have a lot of friends here.

 

[terestrife]

It's her house, and it's her own fault if she loses it because she's been totally irresponsible with it. It's just too bad you'll be stuck picking up the pieces.

I'm not going to tell you what I'd do if it was me in that situation, just that it wouldn't be pretty.

In the beginning i was causing myself stress by fighting with my sister and her daughter, but realized that nothing changes from arguing. I want to leave this place but i live in miami. the money i make isnt enough for an apartment. I'm going to do everything i can to save up when i can, and go from there.

I wish i could switch jobs, but i have been at my current job less than a year, its going to look bad if i keep switching around. My last job i stayed a year and a half.

As someone who also has very negative feelings about her sister, albeit for different reasons, I feel you.

Its hard isnt it? My mother raised us to be close, but problems always crop up. Even family can disappoint you or fail you.

With all you've got on your plate, IMHO you don't have to apologize to anyone about anything! We're all in unprecedented stress, and you've got far more than your share. Some of us are extremely fortunate, others less so, and some not very much at all. You seem to be on the low end of "others less so" right now. I'd probably be a blithering idiot if I was facing all of that. Huge props to you for shouldering all of these burdens, not going ballistic, and plodding on.
None of us knows where or when this will be over. I know I don't. The people I truly trust -- and they aren't many -- and turn to for help advise holding on. That's what I'm doing. I mean, we can either do that, or we can chop and change and that's really not advised right now.
Talien is right -- the house is NOT your "problem". Hang on in there for as long as you're able. It's very hard not to plan for the future (especially for someone like me, who's a planner all the time) but all you can do at this point is stay there, try not to go off if you can help it, do what you can to mitigate any potential problem with your housemates because it's to your advantage to do so, and if you're at all spiritual, turn There for comfort. I know I do every day.
A LOT of people are on the edge now. Many more probably will be before things level out. Something/things will have to be done to help those who, through no fault of their own, are unable to keep up with necessary expenses. Again, we don't know what that will be, but sometimes we have to, in the words of some, "Let go, let god." As I said, I'm a planner, but now I am reminding myself again and again to live for and in the now, not for the future. Stay as strong and well as you can, and know you have a lot of friends here.

Thank you for your kindness and support. You're right, as soon as i wrote this post i felt a weight come off my shoulders. I know what you mean about being a planner. Been trying to find a plan to fix my situation, but like you said everything is in the air for now.

I was actually just praying before i logged back in. I remembered my mother, as i was feeling stressed out. My mother was not the kind of person that would allow ingratitude from her children. Whenever i would get frustrated with life, she would always remind me to be thankful for what i have. She would remind me that i had a home, my health, and family that surrounded me. She would remind me of the people that have nothing, not even anything to eat. So i was just sitting in my room saying thank you for what i have, and praying for my loved ones, and thinking of everything thats going on in the world.

Well, my health isnt so great anymore. But i have a home that is at least safe, and inexpensive. I still have a job, and people that care about me. Especially in this forum.Thank you everyone. I have my moments that i get overwhelmed, but i try to never forget the positives in my life.

 

[Lari]

Its hard isnt it? My mother raised us to be close, but problems always crop up. Even family can disappoint you or fail you.

My mom wasn't close with my aunt, and never wanted there to be competition, but literally everything has been smooth sailing for my sister and I can't help but feel resentful. I see close sister relationships with some of my friends, and it's beautiful, but I know I'll never have that.

You're very strong and a much better person than I. I hope things look up for you soon.

 

[terestrife]

My mom wasn't close with my aunt, and never wanted there to be competition, but literally everything has been smooth sailing for my sister and I can't help but feel resentful. I see close sister relationships with some of my friends, and it's beautiful, but I know I'll never have that.

You're very strong and a much better person than I. I hope things look up for you soon.

I'm really not a good person, we all have faults, especially me lol. I thank my mother for teaching me that i can always do and be better.

I hope things one day improve with your sister. I have had so many fights over the years with my siblings. But i am grateful that if i send out a message that i need a ride to my doctors appointment, someone is always there. Some families arent close enough to be there during illnesses/problems.

I understand how hard it is when you see things going well for others, and you wonder why its different for you. I am the youngest and single. Meanwhile my 3 brothers and my sister are married with children. They are happy, and have someone to share their lives with. I am happy for them, but also wonder what is wrong with me that i am the one thats alone. Its so easy for ugly feelings to fester. Its what makes us imperfect humans.

I pray one day you and your sister can bond.

 

[dustydiamond1]

I've always been bad with portioning sugar. Not sure if removing them from my diet will stop the cravings, but i am at least going to try.



I know what you mean, its painful the bigger you are. I feel the weight on my bones and muscles. Especially my back.

------


Venting about financial issues, please dont read if you are going through a hard time right now. Dont want to bring anyone down.


From what my sister has told me she thinks my nieces boyfriend isnt working anymore. He works in repairing houses, and doesnt seem to have work because of the virus stalling things. Its a common story right now. Thankfully i am still working, but there are rumors of us being potentially laid off.

I'm feeling guilty with some negative feelings i am having towards my sister. Ever since i have moved into this house my sister has been able to stay home. First it was understandable, her previous husband had cancer. An amazing man, and i am sad he is gone. Then i moved in right after he passed and she put off looking for work for a year. Then finally works and quits after a month to remarry her first boyfriend and moved to another state, leaving us to deal with this house. Her daughter (i live with her, her bf, and their child) doesnt pay any bills and gets to stay home for free. The boyfriend was only paying $600-800 monthly.

My sister says she wants to help us, which im grateful for as she doesnt live here anymore. She got a job with USPS a few months back, she hated the job, ended up getting injured in the job after a couple of weeks. Ended up with a concussion. I know this makes me sound horrible, but i sometimes wonder if she just wants to stay home and take money from others. And i get it, thats her right. Its just that this house isnt cheap. Thankfully i only pay utilities. But she sometimes asks for association money. There are times i have to tell her i dont have money, which i dont. My medical expenses arent cheap, i just finished paying $1500 for my d&c last year. I just had another d&c and it'll be around $900 total. Every visit includes a copay. The expenses never end.

Its cheaper living here than living anywhere else. Just frustrating, when i moved in she told me i could save up money so i could move out whenever i wanted. Instead i have been stuck helping her while she and her daughter refuse to work. I've ruined all my credit cards, and have no savings. I am grateful that she and her husband want to help us, but still feel resentful of how shes leaned on me these past few years.

They've been wasting money putting on the sprinklers, and she sends me a text to check if its broken (my nieces bf is the one putting it) she tells me to check it, because if not i'll be stuck paying a high water bill.

This sounds awful, but i cant wait till the day that i dont have to deal with her, her daughter, or the bf again. Im tired of her nagging and leaning on everyone. Again, i know i sound horrible. I could be living in a worse place. Im grateful for this home. Just feel overwhelmed because i just dont make enough. I'm already dealing with erratic mood swings with the hormone pills i've been stuck taking.

The other day my sister told us she hasnt paid the mortgage in months so the house is in foreclosure. They have given her 4 months to come up with the money, they were lenient because of the virus. Shes been trying to lower the mortgage. They might lower the mortgage to be 1000$.

I know everyone is struggling out there so i hope this post doesnt come off badly. Just been struggling financially for the past two years. I moved into this house with amazing credit, and its now destroyed from not paying my cards. Miami is known for having a high cost of living. I regret leaving my childhood home and genuinely wish i never had to leave there.

Sorry, i got so answer when my sister was telling me the water bill could be a thousand dollars if the sprinkler was leaking. All the anger and frustration from the past two years just came to me. I had to come in and write this out, because i suddenly felt like going out and buying junk food and i dont need that right now. lol i always turn to food when im upset and i cant do that anymore.

You poor kid, having so much on your plate.Did your sister say why she hasn't been paying the mortgage? Has the sprinkler been disconnected yet? I know it's hard but when your mind is running at full tilt and being overwhelmed try to narrow your focus and concentrate on one thing at a time. Try taking things one day at a time sometimes one hour at a time, one minute or even one second at a time. Over the years I've worked hard to train my mind to jump track and stop thinking of what I was and think of something else when I mentally shout 'STOP', shouting 'STOP' again and again if next thought is also a drag down one. It's automatic now, sort of a rose colored glasses type of thing. Sounds odd but it's kept me going all these years. Can't remember which C&W singer said it but a good mantra: "I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane"

 

[tarasgirl06]

That's a great lyric, dustydiamond1 , whoever wrote it!
terestrife We had similar-thinking moms, it seems. Mine wasn't a member of any religion whatsoever, but she was very spiritual in that she definitely believed in a Supreme Being and in being thankful for good fortune. Her life was unremittingly hard and got somewhat easier, then ended hard. But she not only was grateful for the blessings in her own life, she believed in helping others less fortunate whenever possible and that was something she passed on to me. It doesn't work if people won't do it, but I've found it to be absolutely true that helping others helps me, perhaps most of all, so whether from an altruistic or a self-centered point of view, it's the best way to live IMHO. Of course it doesn't take away the problems we all have in our lives -- even those who seem not to have any! -- but it shifts the focus from ourselves and our problems to a larger view that can be positive for everyone. The other thing that's really true for me is that the only constant in life is change. As bad, bleak, etc., as life can seem, it WILL change. Maybe for the worse! but hopefully for the better. Through all of my dark times, I have come to the other side so far and then I find myself thinking, "Why did you waste so much time worrying? Here you are, and you have come through it!"

 

[terestrife]

You poor kid, having so much on your plate.Did your sister say why she hasn't been paying the mortgage? Has the sprinkler been disconnected yet? I know it's hard but when your mind is running at full tilt and being overwhelmed try to narrow your focus and concentrate on one thing at a time. Try taking things one day at a time sometimes one hour at a time, one minute or even one second at a time. Over the years I've worked hard to train my mind to jump track and stop thinking of what I was and think of something else when I mentally shout 'STOP', shouting 'STOP' again and again if next thought is also a drag down one. It's automatic now, sort of a rose colored glasses type of thing. Sounds odd but it's kept me going all these years. Can't remember which C&W singer said it but a good mantra: "I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane"

My nieces BF says the sprinkler system is fine. I told my sister to stop turning it on its wasting money and im the one stuck paying for her to kept the plants watered, which doesnt matter right now. I doubt she will listen to me though.

When she first left us to go to another state to follow the guy she married. She started telling her daughter that she couldnt afford the mortgage and that we might have to move out. She eventually felt bad and started calling the mortgage to get it lowered. She hasnt paid the mortgage because she cant hold down a job. She didnt want to bother her husband to pay it. He has an amazing job with general motors, he helps build cars. He says if my neices BF moves out that he will help pay the mortgage.

I like that quote! LOL Thats really good advice, i struggle with obsessive thoughts so that might help me out to focus my thoughts like that. Thank you!

That's a great lyric, dustydiamond1 , whoever wrote it!
terestrife We had similar-thinking moms, it seems. Mine wasn't a member of any religion whatsoever, but she was very spiritual in that she definitely believed in a Supreme Being and in being thankful for good fortune. Her life was unremittingly hard and got somewhat easier, then ended hard. But she not only was grateful for the blessings in her own life, she believed in helping others less fortunate whenever possible and that was something she passed on to me. It doesn't work if people won't do it, but I've found it to be absolutely true that helping others helps me, perhaps most of all, so whether from an altruistic or a self-centered point of view, it's the best way to live IMHO. Of course it doesn't take away the problems we all have in our lives -- even those who seem not to have any! -- but it shifts the focus from ourselves and our problems to a larger view that can be positive for everyone. The other thing that's really true for me is that the only constant in life is change. As bad, bleak, etc., as life can seem, it WILL change. Maybe for the worse! but hopefully for the better. Through all of my dark times, I have come to the other side so far and then I find myself thinking, "Why did you waste so much time worrying? Here you are, and you have come through it!"

My mom was the same, she wasnt a part of any religion, and she also had a very difficult and sad life. She taught me so much about life and i miss her dearly. I have this memory of one time that we went somewhere to eat. The worker kept making mistakes, and since i was young i was annoyed. I asked my mom why she wasnt upset, and she simply told me that if that person were her son, she would want people to show patience and kindness. She always told me that she prayed the good she put out in the world, would somehow come back and bless her children. I dont think i ever recall her being rude to someone that wasnt rude to her first.

Thank you for your perspective on things.

 

[tarasgirl06]

My nieces BF says the sprinkler system is fine. I told my sister to stop turning it on its wasting money and im the one stuck paying for her to kept the plants watered, which doesnt matter right now. I doubt she will listen to me though.

When she first left us to go to another state to follow the guy she married. She started telling her daughter that she couldnt afford the mortgage and that we might have to move out. She eventually felt bad and started calling the mortgage to get it lowered. She hasnt paid the mortgage because she cant hold down a job. She didnt want to bother her husband to pay it. He has an amazing job with general motors, he helps build cars. He says if my neices BF moves out that he will help pay the mortgage.

I like that quote! LOL Thats really good advice, i struggle with obsessive thoughts so that might help me out to focus my thoughts like that. Thank you!



My mom was the same, she wasnt a part of any religion, and she also had a very difficult and sad life. She taught me so much about life and i miss her dearly. I have this memory of one time that we went somewhere to eat. The worker kept making mistakes, and since i was young i was annoyed. I asked my mom why she wasnt upset, and she simply told me that if that person were her son, she would want people to show patience and kindness. She always told me that she prayed the good she put out in the world, would somehow come back and bless her children. I dont think i ever recall her being rude to someone that wasnt rude to her first.

Thank you for your perspective on things.

Our moms would have recognized one another. Mine was never rude, period, that I recall. She'd leave rather than get defensive. I've learned a lot from her and try to pull my punches when I can. You can't change an angry mind, anyway.

 

[Lari]

Your mom sounds like she was very special terestrife .

 

[tarasgirl06]

Your mom sounds like she was very special terestrife .

Oh, she was! Your sounds like she was, too. My mom clipped something and put it on the refrigerator. I still have it. It says, "The surest cure for loneliness, The quickest way to happiness, Is found in this, a simple creed: Go serve someone in greater need." No idea who said this originally, but I call it her motto and one she lived by. Mom and Dad both did, actually -- and of COURSE, they both loved cats.

 

[terestrife]

Our moms would have recognized one another. Mine was never rude, period, that I recall. She'd leave rather than get defensive. I've learned a lot from her and try to pull my punches when I can. You can't change an angry mind, anyway.

Its during the hard times that i miss her most of all, she was a special woman.

She taught me patience will usually solve things. Like you said you cant change an angry mind. People dont want to help someone that is angry and aggressive.

Your mom sounds like she was very special terestrife .

She was. Dont get me wrong, she had her faults like anyone else. But she always put her children first, up until the end. I think its a testament to her character that in her last 3 months of living, she was not alone even for a moment. All of us took turns to be with her in the hospital and at home. I remember there was this one doctor that looked startled and would comment how theres always someone in the room. I understood what she meant, as the nurses told me there was always older people alone in the hospitals, that some never received visitors.

Oh, she was! Your sounds like she was, too. My mom clipped something and put it on the refrigerator. I still have it. It says, "The surest cure for loneliness, The quickest way to happiness, Is found in this, a simple creed: Go serve someone in greater need." No idea who said this originally, but I call it her motto and one she lived by. Mom and Dad both did, actually -- and of COURSE, they both loved cats.

I'm glad you had wonderful parents. Thats such a blessing that not many people have. I really like the sound of that motto.
I have felt that way when i have been there for others. I have been wanting to find a way to donate my time and i might try that once this pandemic is over.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Its during the hard times that i miss her most of all, she was a special woman.

She taught me patience will usually solve things. Like you said you cant change an angry mind. People dont want to help someone that is angry and aggressive.



She was. Dont get me wrong, she had her faults like anyone else. But she always put her children first, up until the end. I think its a testament to her character that in her last 3 months of living, she was not alone even for a moment. All of us took turns to be with her in the hospital and at home. I remember there was this one doctor that looked startled and would comment how theres always someone in the room. I understood what she meant, as the nurses told me there was always older people alone in the hospitals, that some never received visitors.


I'm glad you had wonderful parents. Thats such a blessing that not many people have. I really like the sound of that motto.
I have felt that way when i have been there for others. I have been wanting to find a way to donate my time and i might try that once this pandemic is over.

Oh yeah, people aren't perfect! But compared to almost everyone else's I've met, I'd say my folks were amazing. And yeah, the proof is in the pudding, as they say. My mom didn't have a lot of friends left toward the end of her time here, but one of her best friends came down from northern CA to visit with her. Another lives here locally and always says how much she misses my mom. My dad's surviving sister says Mom was her best friend. That's not really common with in-laws, is it?
My oldest friend, who(m?) I've known since I was 4, volunteers at a cat rescue, as well as doing hospice care and delivering Meals on Wheels. She misses being able to do these things right now. I'm sure the recipients of her caring do, too.

 

[neely]

Whenever i would get frustrated with life, she would always remind me to be thankful for what i have. She would remind me that i had a home, my health, and family that surrounded me. She would remind me of the people that have nothing, not even anything to eat.

I truly sympathize with everything you feel and wrote in your post. Your mom was a very wise and gracious person. Her advice in your quote reminds me of this video someone sent to me and I thought I would share it with you:

Thinking of you and sending special hugs.

 

[terestrife]

Oh yeah, people aren't perfect! But compared to almost everyone else's I've met, I'd say my folks were amazing. And yeah, the proof is in the pudding, as they say. My mom didn't have a lot of friends left toward the end of her time here, but one of her best friends came down from northern CA to visit with her. Another lives here locally and always says how much she misses my mom. My dad's surviving sister says Mom was her best friend. That's not really common with in-laws, is it?
My oldest friend, who(m?) I've known since I was 4, volunteers at a cat rescue, as well as doing hospice care and delivering Meals on Wheels. She misses being able to do these things right now. I'm sure the recipients of her caring do, too.

She sounds like she was an amazing woman. Its hard enough for people to get along with their in-laws, but to be best friends? That says a lot about her.

I tried volunteering to help read to children who are learning to read, but they needed someone during the day when i am working. I would really like to volunteer in something that involves helping kids.

I truly sympathize with everything you feel and wrote in your post. Your mom was a very wise and gracious person. Her advice in your quote reminds me of this video someone sent to me and I thought I would share it with you:

Thinking of you and sending special hugs.

Thank you for thinking of me.
I loved the video. It really expresses the dark places we go to when we get overwhelmed with life. But theres always something to be thankful for in our lives.

Thank you again for always being a support for me when i post here. It means a lot to me.