Venting....

neely

May the purr be with you
Veteran
Joined
Dec 22, 2005
Messages
19,635
Purraise
47,800
i have always struggled with my weight, and have never had long term success.
I don't know if you mentioned this previously but have you tried exercise? It doesn't necessarily have to be cardio. Pilates or yoga might be a good alternative since they can be relaxing and you feel so good afterwards.

I'm just sick and tired of having do these d&c procedures, they are so painful. I know this sounds weird, but it almost feels like an awful violation (nothing against the gyno he is compassionate, and i genuinely like him) it just feels so awful to have someone scrapping somewhere so personal.
Would it help to see a female gynecologist, even if only for a second opinion? My first ob/gyn was male and I liked him too but ended up going to a female and when she retired I was referred to another female. This is one area of medicine where I think a woman physician can relate to what you're feeling. :hugs:
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #322

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
2,412
Purraise
2,586
I don't know if you mentioned this previously but have you tried exercise? It doesn't necessarily have to be cardio. Pilates or yoga might be a good alternative since they can be relaxing and you feel so good afterwards.



Would it help to see a female gynecologist, even if only for a second opinion? My first ob/gyn was male and I liked him too but ended up going to a female and when she retired I was referred to another female. This is one area of medicine where I think a woman physician can relate to what you're feeling. :hugs:
I used to enjoy exercise, but like everything else, i keep up with it and eventually stop. Going to try starting again. I always do great and lose weight, and eventually back pedal. :confused2:

The thing is that this doctor knows my history, and to switch to a new doctor seems overwhelming. I did talk to a male doctor at a cancer research center, he recommended an IUD and checking every few months. The same as this current doctor. The only difference is that my current doctor prescribed me a pill not an IUD. He says there isnt enough research to prove the IUD works as well.
EDIT: The doctor at the cancer research did not want me taking the pill i am on because of the hunger.

I did make the mistake of going to a regular female gyno, she didnt specialize on oncology. That was a mess, she got nervous when i told her what i had. Started talking fast and telling me i had to go to an oncologist. My niece was with me and we just stared at each other, because of how erratic she was acting. She didnt even allow us to talk. LOL

The gyno that first diagnosed me was a nightmare, he did a dandc that caused me pain and intense bleeding for a month, and then i switched to my current gyno. So i have seen four gynos total. I dont know if i can take switching again and explaining everything again. :sigh:
 

rubysmama

Forum Helper
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Nov 25, 2013
Messages
25,278
Purraise
62,759
Location
Canada
I'm not sure what i will decide going forward. I dont know if weight loss will help? He seems to believe losing weight will help fix this. But what if that doesnt work?
I know the medication makes you hungry, which certainly won't make weight loss easy, but I've read about hormone levels being higher in women who are overweight (it's stored in fat), so I can understand why he might think losing weight could help with a gyno issue.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #324

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
2,412
Purraise
2,586
I know the medication makes you hungry, which certainly won't make weight loss easy, but I've read about hormone levels being higher in women who are overweight (it's stored in fat), so I can understand why he might think losing weight could help with a gyno issue.
i didnt know how about that. i knew weight could cause hormone issues, but i didnt know why. The only thing i could think of is to try to lose weight the next 4 months and see what happens. I'm just not excited about the medication being increased, i dont know if that will worsen my symptoms.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #326

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
2,412
Purraise
2,586
Your Out-of-Whack Hormones Might Be the Reason You Can't Lose Belly Fat
Those articles make a lot of sense. I know i am responsible for my health issues. But a lot of the things in that article are symptoms i have struggled with since i was a teen. I was never regular with my cycle, and always had extreme mood swings. It was so bad my mom didnt know how to handle it at times. As i grew into an adult i learned to walk away when i would feel my mood turning, as i didnt want to hurt people with my anger.

I never understood what was wrong, and the doctor i would go to would always tell me and my mom that it was normal that i wasnt regular. I would spent months, and even years without seeing my cycle. So i suspect my hormones have be wreaking havoc on my body for years.

thanks for the links, it was an interesting read. The hard part is hearing about giving up sugar, thats going to be tough. :soapbox:
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
24,708
Purraise
64,893
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
I used to enjoy exercise, but like everything else, i keep up with it and eventually stop. Going to try starting again. I always do great and lose weight, and eventually back pedal. :confused2:

The thing is that this doctor knows my history, and to switch to a new doctor seems overwhelming. I did talk to a male doctor at a cancer research center, he recommended an IUD and checking every few months. The same as this current doctor. The only difference is that my current doctor prescribed me a pill not an IUD. He says there isnt enough research to prove the IUD works as well.
EDIT: The doctor at the cancer research did not want me taking the pill i am on because of the hunger.

I did make the mistake of going to a regular female gyno, she didnt specialize on oncology. That was a mess, she got nervous when i told her what i had. Started talking fast and telling me i had to go to an oncologist. My niece was with me and we just stared at each other, because of how erratic she was acting. She didnt even allow us to talk. LOL

The gyno that first diagnosed me was a nightmare, he did a dandc that caused me pain and intense bleeding for a month, and then i switched to my current gyno. So i have seen four gynos total. I dont know if i can take switching again and explaining everything again. :sigh:
It's not surprising that you should feel "violated". What woman EVER likes these exams? ANYONE? Yes, maybe a female doctor might be better for you if you have that option? A friend of mine has one. She has a definite preference for one.

I designed my own 40-minute workout that I do 4-5 times a week, not for weight but to stay fit and keep up muscle mass. It includes weights, aerobics, yoga and calisthenics and yes, I feel very good as a result. Women especially should do weight-bearing exercises, too. Doesn't matter the weight as much as the reps.

I've had IUDs and dropped a couple out. Very painful cramps and heavy, heavy bleeding. Pill is dangerous, so I would not opt for that. Can you get a tubal? I did. One of the best things I've ever done for myself -- and the world.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #328

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
2,412
Purraise
2,586
It's not surprising that you should feel "violated". What woman EVER likes these exams? ANYONE? Yes, maybe a female doctor might be better for you if you have that option? A friend of mine has one. She has a definite preference for one.

I designed my own 40-minute workout that I do 4-5 times a week, not for weight but to stay fit and keep up muscle mass. It includes weights, aerobics, yoga and calisthenics and yes, I feel very good as a result. Women especially should do weight-bearing exercises, too. Doesn't matter the weight as much as the reps.

I've had IUDs and dropped a couple out. Very painful cramps and heavy, heavy bleeding. Pill is dangerous, so I would not opt for that. Can you get a tubal? I did. One of the best things I've ever done for myself -- and the world.
Im not sure i would feel any better with a woman, i just hate the test itself. :frown: This doctor is amazing, he knows if im in pain without me saying anything, and will stop and comfort me. Not many doctors care. So im nervous to change. lol

lol you guys are motivating me to exercise. Havent really felt like doing anything lately except sleep. I used to genuinely love exercising, i would do tapes like taebo, gilad, jane fonda, or anything i could find on youtube.

Also, I have considered the hysterectomy, that is definitely on the table. The reason i am giving this medication a shot is because im 35 years old. I have always wanted to be a mother, but havent met the right person yet. I am only doing this treatment to buy myself a few more years just in case i meet someone. If i dont meet someone by the time i reach my early/mid 40s then i dont mind doing the procedure.

I love kids. I have so many nieces and nephews, and was a part of raising two of them. Every other weekend, i go and spend the entire day with my 9 year old niece. She's so intelligent, and such an amazing kid. The other day she told me that i know her best, because i was the one that raised her. :cloud9: :hearthrob:Which is funny because that is something i have never said to her. She just instinctively knew that i have been there for her.

Shes the first person i thought of when i was diagnosed with this health issue. I have dedicated many years caring for nieces/nephews, and i would just love to have one of my own.
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
24,708
Purraise
64,893
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
Im not sure i would feel any better with a woman, i just hate the test itself. :frown: This doctor is amazing, he knows if im in pain without me saying anything, and will stop and comfort me. Not many doctors care. So im nervous to change. lol

lol you guys are motivating me to exercise. Havent really felt like doing anything lately except sleep. I used to genuinely love exercising, i would do tapes like taebo, gilad, jane fonda, or anything i could find on youtube.

Also, I have considered the hysterectomy, that is definitely on the table. The reason i am giving this medication a shot is because im 35 years old. I have always wanted to be a mother, but havent met the right person yet. I am only doing this treatment to buy myself a few more years just in case i meet someone. If i dont meet someone by the time i reach my early/mid 40s then i dont mind doing the procedure.

I love kids. I have so many nieces and nephews, and was a part of raising two of them. Every other weekend, i go and spend the entire day with my 9 year old niece. She's so intelligent, and such an amazing kid. The other day she told me that i know her best, because i was the one that raised her. :cloud9: :hearthrob:Which is funny because that is something i have never said to her. She just instinctively knew that i have been there for her.

Shes the first person i thought of when i was diagnosed with this health issue. I have dedicated many years caring for nieces/nephews, and i would just love to have one of my own.
Well, there IS always adopting. There are lots of kids desperate for a good home life. Something maybe to consider. And a tubal doesn't remove anything, it just either ligates (ties off) or cauterizes (I had this) the tubes. It's a quick and easy procedure with normally quick recovery time.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #330

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
2,412
Purraise
2,586
Well, there IS always adopting. There are lots of kids desperate for a good home life. Something maybe to consider. And a tubal doesn't remove anything, it just either ligates (ties off) or cauterizes (I had this) the tubes. It's a quick and easy procedure with normally quick recovery time.
Yes, i have also considered adoption. :heartshape: With what i have, i would need to have a hysterectomy. They cant risk leaving the abnormal cells. If they just leave it, it will eventually turn cancerous. So the options are the medication (hormones) to see if the cells go back to normal. Or get a hysterectomy. :frown:
 

Talien

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 10, 2018
Messages
2,650
Purraise
5,131
Location
Michigan
Well, there IS always adopting. There are lots of kids desperate for a good home life. Something maybe to consider. And a tubal doesn't remove anything, it just either ligates (ties off) or cauterizes (I had this) the tubes. It's a quick and easy procedure with normally quick recovery time.
Adoption is what I would be looking at if I was in that situation. Obviously I'm not a woman so I can't know exactly what you're going through, but I really think at this point I would insist on a hysterectomy if it was me. My mom had to take some medication for her cancer treatment that increased her appetite and she gained a lot of weight, which she has never able to lose.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #332

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
2,412
Purraise
2,586
Adoption is what I would be looking at if I was in that situation. Obviously I'm not a woman so I can't know exactly what you're going through, but I really think at this point I would insist on a hysterectomy if it was me. My mom had to take some medication for her cancer treatment that increased her appetite and she gained a lot of weight, which she has never able to lose.
Thank you for the input.:heartshape:I'm sorry about what your mom went through, that is my concern for my own situation. I think i might do one last ditch effort, if i cant get my weight down, or it keeps trying to go up, then i will insist on the surgery. I already feel uncomfortable with the weight i am on, i cant gain any more weight.
 

rubysmama

Forum Helper
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Nov 25, 2013
Messages
25,278
Purraise
62,759
Location
Canada
I used to enjoy exercise, but like everything else, i keep up with it and eventually stop. Going to try starting again. I always do great and lose weight, and eventually back pedal. :confused2:
BTW, if you haven't seen it, we have a The Exercise Motivation Thread 2020 where you can post daily updates, if you like. Some members are pretty active. Me, on the other hand, not so much. ;)
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
24,708
Purraise
64,893
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
Thank you for the input.:heartshape:I'm sorry about what your mom went through, that is my concern for my own situation. I think i might do one last ditch effort, if i cant get my weight down, or it keeps trying to go up, then i will insist on the surgery. I already feel uncomfortable with the weight i am on, i cant gain any more weight.
I'm almost anorexic-looking according to others, and have always been very skinny, but I went through a period of eating A LOT of great food at restaurants and at home, and I got up to what most would consider "normal" which I decided I didn't want to stay at, so even though I'd been working out and didn't change that, I decided to stop eating the incredibly rich food I was having way too much of. And I ate, and will always eat, things I like -- just smaller portions. For me, that's the secret of losing and maintaining. Cutting out stuff you like doesn't ultimately work because you end up feeling deprived and eat even more of it. So I have smaller portions of "treats" when they're available, and that satisfies me enough. It helps to be on a strict budget, too. And to be under strict lockdown. :rolleyes3:
 

Talien

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 10, 2018
Messages
2,650
Purraise
5,131
Location
Michigan
Thank you for the input.:heartshape:I'm sorry about what your mom went through, that is my concern for my own situation. I think i might do one last ditch effort, if i cant get my weight down, or it keeps trying to go up, then i will insist on the surgery. I already feel uncomfortable with the weight i am on, i cant gain any more weight.
One thing you have to be very aware of if you do decide to go through with it (though this is something the Doctor should explain to you at the time) is your daily calorie requirement will go down after a hysterectomy, especially since you're still young and your reproductive organs are active. You might still be prone to gaining weight if you don't watch what you eat and how much you eat.

It helps to eat several small meals through the day instead of just "the big 3". If you get into that habit it raises your metabolism which will make it easier to manage your weight, especially regarding fat.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #336

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
2,412
Purraise
2,586
BTW, if you haven't seen it, we have a The Exercise Motivation Thread 2020 where you can post daily updates, if you like. Some members are pretty active. Me, on the other hand, not so much. ;)
LOL ok thank you, i will check it out. :heartshape:

I'm almost anorexic-looking according to others, and have always been very skinny, but I went through a period of eating A LOT of great food at restaurants and at home, and I got up to what most would consider "normal" which I decided I didn't want to stay at, so even though I'd been working out and didn't change that, I decided to stop eating the incredibly rich food I was having way too much of. And I ate, and will always eat, things I like -- just smaller portions. For me, that's the secret of losing and maintaining. Cutting out stuff you like doesn't ultimately work because you end up feeling deprived and eat even more of it. So I have smaller portions of "treats" when they're available, and that satisfies me enough. It helps to be on a strict budget, too. And to be under strict lockdown. :rolleyes3:
I was able to stop going to fast food places, as i was going way too much. I have always had weight issues, especially with overeating and using food to cope. What messes me up is that i over eat junk food. The sad thing is that i love fruits and vegetable, but unfortunately struggle with overeating sugary things. Im not sure what the answer is, i have tried eating junk food in small portions, that doesnt last long. I tried removing it completely, that didnt last long either.

I notice that the moment i give in (go to a fast food place, or reintroduce junk food) thats when i want the food the most, its really strange.

:frustrated:Going go give it my all though. I feel so uncomfortable right now. I havent been this size in years, it is painful and all i want to do is sleep.


One thing you have to be very aware of if you do decide to go through with it (though this is something the Doctor should explain to you at the time) is your daily calorie requirement will go down after a hysterectomy, especially since you're still young and your reproductive organs are active. You might still be prone to gaining weight if you don't watch what you eat and how much you eat.

It helps to eat several small meals through the day instead of just "the big 3". If you get into that habit it raises your metabolism which will make it easier to manage your weight, especially regarding fat.
Thanks for the advice, i will look into that. :)

I didnt know i would need less calories after a hysterectomy. :sniffle: Before i started taking this medication i didnt mind the weight i was at. I was still a bigger person, but i could run up and down the stairs at work. Thank you for warning me though, its good to know. I have noticed with some doctors they wont warn you unless you ask questions.
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
24,708
Purraise
64,893
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
LOL ok thank you, i will check it out. :heartshape:



I was able to stop going to fast food places, as i was going way too much. I have always had weight issues, especially with overeating and using food to cope. What messes me up is that i over eat junk food. The sad thing is that i love fruits and vegetable, but unfortunately struggle with overeating sugary things. Im not sure what the answer is, i have tried eating junk food in small portions, that doesnt last long. I tried removing it completely, that didnt last long either.

I notice that the moment i give in (go to a fast food place, or reintroduce junk food) thats when i want the food the most, its really strange.

:frustrated:Going go give it my all though. I feel so uncomfortable right now. I havent been this size in years, it is painful and all i want to do is sleep.



Thanks for the advice, i will look into that. :)

I didnt know i would need less calories after a hysterectomy. :sniffle: Before i started taking this medication i didnt mind the weight i was at. I was still a bigger person, but i could run up and down the stairs at work. Thank you for warning me though, its good to know. I have noticed with some doctors they wont warn you unless you ask questions.
I was that way with the food I loved the most, too, whether at restaurants or at home, so I stopped making it and I stopped going to those restaurants. These were dishes with a LOT of special ingredients so it wasn't hard to just not get those things. Over time, it worked.
And you're right about them not telling you unless you ask. Don't forget, it's a BUSINESS. Doctors make a LOT of money. Many may disagree with me, but I say they have a vested interest in keeping people sick and/or continuing behaviors that make you keep going back to them. I mean, if everyone practiced prevention, exercised, ate right and lived optimum lifestyles, most of them wouldn't be making anywhere near the money they make, would they?
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #338

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
2,412
Purraise
2,586
I was that way with the food I loved the most, too, whether at restaurants or at home, so I stopped making it and I stopped going to those restaurants. These were dishes with a LOT of special ingredients so it wasn't hard to just not get those things. Over time, it worked.
And you're right about them not telling you unless you ask. Don't forget, it's a BUSINESS. Doctors make a LOT of money. Many may disagree with me, but I say they have a vested interest in keeping people sick and/or continuing behaviors that make you keep going back to them. I mean, if everyone practiced prevention, exercised, ate right and lived optimum lifestyles, most of them wouldn't be making anywhere near the money they make, would they?
Trust me, i would see it all the time with my mom. They would do unnecessary tests on her. i'll never forget that she said she didnt want to do a test. And they cut off a piece of her toenail right after she said no for some test she didnt even need. All they care about is the money they make off of you. She was in so much pain. I know some doctors care, but they cant deny the money is a huge incentive. My mom due to her health issues was always diligent about going to the doctor, and yet they didnt catch her pancreatic cancer until it was too late. I'm still angry about that.

Anyway, i hope my healthy choices stick this time. I always have the habit where i say i wont do something unhealthy anymore and end up doing it anyway. :frustrated: Hopefully once i make it a habit it will stick.
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
24,708
Purraise
64,893
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
Trust me, i would see it all the time with my mom. They would do unnecessary tests on her. i'll never forget that she said she didnt want to do a test. And they cut off a piece of her toenail right after she said no for some test she didnt even need. All they care about is the money they make off of you. She was in so much pain. I know some doctors care, but they cant deny the money is a huge incentive. My mom due to her health issues was always diligent about going to the doctor, and yet they didnt catch her pancreatic cancer until it was too late. I'm still angry about that.

Anyway, i hope my healthy choices stick this time. I always have the habit where i say i wont do something unhealthy anymore and end up doing it anyway. :frustrated: Hopefully once i make it a habit it will stick.
I'm so sorry about your mom. And yes, unfortunately, those are the realities of "health care" in this society and most others now.
What helped me is my self-esteem. Though I probably looked better to a lot of people when I was "normal", I had myself to please and I told myself that after I got to where I wanted to be, I'd get some new clothes in my new size. I'd ask myself, "What's more important? Eating something you won't even remember the next day/week/whatever, or looking how you want to look and wearing the new clothes?" The answer, for me, was always the same. It worked.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #340

terestrife

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
2,412
Purraise
2,586
I'm so sorry about your mom. And yes, unfortunately, those are the realities of "health care" in this society and most others now.
What helped me is my self-esteem. Though I probably looked better to a lot of people when I was "normal", I had myself to please and I told myself that after I got to where I wanted to be, I'd get some new clothes in my new size. I'd ask myself, "What's more important? Eating something you won't even remember the next day/week/whatever, or looking how you want to look and wearing the new clothes?" The answer, for me, was always the same. It worked.
People worry too much about what is normal, whether someone is too big or too small. I do think having health issues mean taking steps to improve yourself, which is why im trying to change.

Im glad you found ways that worked for you, hopefully i can do the same. Its so important to have good self esteem. :heartshape:
 
Top