You are smart lady and you will find a way. Anyway sending all good vibes your way, we're keeping our paws crossed for you!
Absolutely it is a form of abuse. Sometimes it can scar a person very seriously. So sorry to hear of it.
Yeah. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm scarred & weird/crazy from it. But maybe I'll be alright. There's always hope. My doctor said that I will always be sick with her in my life.
Yes, absolutely. Emotional abuse and neglect are the main causes of Complex PTSD.
I'm sorry you've been dealing with this. Often it can be hard for people to see when they are living in it, and the fact you were able to notice is am amazing gift. Noticing gives you the power to start working to get out. You deserve to live in a safe and healthy environment. You can do this <3
Wow, so much of this is relatable. I'm so sorry you've had to and currently are enduring that. Abusive people love to guilt and shame people as a way to control them. I'm very sensitive to being yelled at, too, and even if someone looks irritated or annoyed with me. I'll feel my body tense up and sometimes start to tremble and feel emotions rise up and want to cry. It sucks. Reading up on emotional flashbacks though has been extremely helpful to me. Although, emotional flashbacks is a newer concept, and if therapists are not educated they will not know or understand it. Basically anything, like a facial expression, tone of voice, can trigger it, and it consists of emotions that were unable to be expressed or felt during a traumatic event. It is the main flashback type in Complex PTSD, which is a newer diagnosis, and not exactly in the DSM yet, but some therapists still diagnose it. Complex PTSD is from ongoing abuse, just like children who grow up in unpredictable homes, especially where the child may not have any adult or person who will protect or stand up for them. There is no visual to emotional flashbacks, so people and those around them often don't know it is happening. It takes a while to recognize them, and after many years sometimes I don't realize it until after the feeling has passed and am like, welp... that was an emotional flashback. Not sure if this is what is happening to you, but I wanted to share for you and others, just in case. Friends who I have shared this with have gotten relief from understanding this concept and it helps them cope.
I totally get that. Maybe you will find this therapist helpful. She grew up with a narcissistic parent, and her videos help keep me sane and feeling stronger. Even if a parent is not narcissistic, but any type of unhealthy, toxic person, her videos are great. Her favorite line is, "If you were not related to these people, would you have anything to do with them? If the answer is no, act accordingly." You may find this video interesting as it deals with the term gray rock, which is a way to show no emotion when dealing with a toxic person. The toxic person is wanting a reaction, which is why the technique is recommended. If it hard for me to do, to be honest, but many people use the technique and find it helpful.
This is so relatable right now. Would you like someone to brain storm with or to go over budgeting? For me, I'm thinking of every possible reason why I cannot move out and take the job I was offered in another state, but in reality it is possible. It's just I cannot let go thinking it won't work. You are so worthy and deserving of finding a way to make this work for you. Myself and others may have resources to help you.
Posted this above, but check this information out: Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy
I am the same. I scream back at him or I lash out at other people for no reason.
Are you on SSI (disability) now? If so, I think you can do it. In most towns there sre subsidized apartments for people on SSI, you only pay a certain percentage of your income. And you can get your doctor to "prescribe" your cats as Emotional Support Animals. Talk to your social worker.
maggiedemi you are not weird at all. And I think you have overcome a great deal already by recognizing how toxic this person is to you at this moment in time. Sometime in the future (probably distant future) you may be able to maintain some sort of decent relationship, but it sounds like you should get away from the poison of abuse as soon as possible. Keep up your hopes, never give up, never give in to repeating the same mistakes that you have endured. You are better than that. You can do this. Meanwhile I'll keep sending good vibes your way dear.
Haha that would be a trick for a cat to walk through walls from outside to inside the house. lol
Oh wow, we have a ton of them here and there's always an empty one, or a short wait if that. But, yeah, even upstate New York probably is more populated than here.
Nice, a flat fee of $250? Why not take as many as you can? You've got this! That sounds like so much fun. For me, I completed all my non-major requirements at community college before transferring, so I only took wild life bio classes for the most part. It's a lot of fun only taking major classes! It's alright if you are feeling unsure, but I beat you'll really enjoy it when you start your semesters with major only classes!W WillowMarie - I started planning my summer courses. Registration opens up next week. I have to pick very specific courses to fulfill my degree requirements (upper and lower level courses in arts & humanities, science, culture, and commerce, and science and technology). They have a section where you can plan ahead so that when registration opens, you get first pick. So far, I have chosen history of popular music, astronomy, music in contemporary society, cultural psychology, and extinction.
I'm trying to take all 5 this summer since I have to pay $250 for the summer semester, might as well get my money's worth out of it. I don't mind because I don't have much else doing anyway and this will keep me occupied. Plus, once I finish these courses, I won't have to take electives again for the duration of my program. I'll be able to focus solely on my programs courses after that! I hope this works out.
He was so excited to leave, I could barely get a hug out of him. He cried at bedtime, but that's not terribly unusual. He doesn't want to go to sleep. John's mom called and he told her to try cartoons and cuddles. No more calls. Apparently he woke up crying at 4:30, but cuddles put him back to sleep until 8.Awwww....how did he feel about going? Any phone calls about him wanting to come home?
No, I've never been on disability or welfare. I'm just on Medicaid for my medical and dental. I never applied for anything else.
Awww.......he's a big boy now!!
Mags, I bet you would qualify for affordable housing if you want to go that route. If so, call your case manager and she/he
