Struggling With Play Time

[ileen]

I just saw an ad for this toy on facebook. Does anyone have it or anything like it? Do you think it would be a good toy for most cats, or will they most likely tear it to pieces? Electric Centipede Cat Teaser Toy with Remote | Pet Clever

 

[dustydiamond1]

ileen -
I looked it up on ebay trying to find reviews, description said it is made out of a durable plastic. Our girl would probably attack, try to chew it to pieces & then ignore it. There a few videos on youtube. It's got some really cool moves in the videos.The kitten really liked it but the adult cats didn't seem impressed.

 

[Animal Freak]

Not really. None of them are used to a harness though I did buy one. I kept going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to take them out. When we let them out of the porch, we leave the door open so they can come and go as they please. Being the most skittish, she's the last to go out and doesn't go out very far. Eventually I'm going to let them out back which is fenced in so I won't have to worry as much. We don't have a very big yard and there's a main road right behind our house that concerns me.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Not really. Not of them are used to a harness though I did but one. I kept going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to take them out. When we let them out of the porch, we leave the door open so they can come and go as they please. Being the most skittish, she's the last to go out and doesn't go out very far. Eventually I'm going to let them out back which is fenced in so I won't have to worry as much. We don't have a very big yard and there's a main road right behind our house that concerns me.

How are you feeling?

 

[Animal Freak]

I'm fine. I learned the hard way to not push what I eat, but everything seems to be going okay. The incisions itch more than anything.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I am glad you are feeling better.

It sounds like it was Ash. I can't figure out the growling. But things like this happen sometimes. The good news it they went back to normal.

I am leaving tomorrow and will be back in 2 weeks. Get well and just keep up the good work. You situation is actually good, I am not too worried. We just need to fine tune a bit. You can do it.

See you in 2 weeks.

 

[Animal Freak]

Thanks. I'll talk to you in two weeks then.

 

[Animal Freak]

Well, I'm going to keep this updated since there's no way I'll remember everything.

I just got home yesterday. So glad to be back. Ash could care less. Frost is a little iffy. Ember seemed to want a lot of attention. Stella, the dog, was quite enthusiastic with her greeting as per usual. I couldn't get her to leave me alone for probably the first twenty minutes or so.

Last night there was a small incident where Ember went after Ash during dinner again. No puffy tail. Just spitting and a half-hearted chase. I broke them up, shooed her into my bedroom so he could finish eating, and all was well.

Today during dinner I was trying to get Frost to eat as sometimes he's rather stubborn about it. I had spaced their bowls out a bit more to try to avoid an incident. Ember just looked up and over at Ash and started growling. This is perhaps the first time I've ever seen her do anything for absolutely no reason. Usually I can defend her because I know how she thinks. I don't know. I grabbed her and her bowl and put her even further away. I was able to keep an eye on things while I cleaned out the water bowl and she would continuously look up and over at him. I couldn't hear if she was growling again though. I would call her name and tell her to eat and she would and then she'd stare at him again. For the next ten or fifteen minutes there was a tension between the two of them and I've no clue why. She would stare and lash her tail. I nudged her out of the kitchen to get her to quit staring like she was ready to attack and tried to play though she was rather distracted. Eventually it faded and everything went back to normal. I played with them. Well, Frost anyway. Ember played with the laser light, but didn't want any part with the other toy. Then the toy broke. I was rather upset. Turned out they preferred it that way. After that I had all three of them surrounding me ready to attack the (now broken) toy and there was no sign of aggression whatsoever.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Glad you're home & doing well. Sorry I have no cat advice, Gypsy is my 1st experience with an indoor cat.

 

[Animal Freak]

Ah, well, they're great. Even if they're brats that may or may not appreciate what you do for them. I've had a lot of cats, but, unfortunately, I was too young when I had some of them to understand the responsibility of having a pet. I think I've also taken being an animal lover to a whole new level in just the past handful of years. They're truly magnificent creatures though. I don't know if I could live without them at this point.

On to my (somewhat) daily report, I'm coming to realize my cats are perhaps a little weird. I feel like they keep taking turns being jerks to each other. I can't even keep up. Frost has been hissing and even slapping at Ember for absolutely no reason. This is a phase that he's been going in and out of for quite some time and I had to admit it's quite distressing to see the calmest, friendliest, most laidback cat act that way. Not knowing what to do about this tension during dinner time, I spaced them out. I put Ember further away though still in the same room. Just a few feet further. I left the boys in the same place and then I realized I had wanted to switch their positions to keep Frost in the middle since, while he has been a bit crabby, he's still the friendliest and no one has a problem with him even if he has a problem with them. Why he gets away with bullying Ember and yet Ash gets attacked if he bullies the dog, I don't know. Maybe because he's too oblivious to have any fear towards her and is perhaps a little too confident. However, I didn't even get the chance to touch Ash when all of a sudden he looked up at spit at Frost who was minding his own business considering whether or not he wanted to eat. This, of course, riled Ember up so I tried to get Ash out into the back room while my mom kept her away and stop Frost from tagging along because he, again quite obliviously, decided he was going to follow the cat that just spit at him. He's always been a bit dense when it came to signs of aggression. Then, of course, Ember was too worked up to eat in a room even attached to the room Ash was in and she promptly ran from me into my room when I tried to get her; something she does quite often thinking she might get attention. I pretty much gave up and took her food into my bedroom and let her eat in there. For a while, everything seemed like it would be okay, but then I notice just how antsy and tense Ember is. I don't know why, but she seemed rather nervous. I had the three of them playing with the (broken) toy which worked out just fine last night, but this time she hissed and slapped at Ash who had done nothing. I raised my voice (Okay, I might have yelled a little, but I was acting faster than I was thinking) and put my hand between them and went to push her away though she ran off just a couple of feet away where she turned back and hissed at him again. I gave her a little nudge and she was on her way. But she remained tense. Very, very tense. She would come out and look at Ash and stare at him. I would try to dangle the toy in front of her and get her to play which she, surprisingly, obliged. After doing that a couple of times, she seemed to calm a bit, but she was still nervous. She wouldn't get to close to him and would always look up whenever he moved suddenly.

That is a really big paragraph, but I would also like to add that I found Ash laying in the box/house/thingamabob on the cat stand. I won't say it's completely unusual for him to decide to lay in there, but it's rare. He's normally on top, not in the little space like that. Ember was also acting like she was looking for him and was ready to attack. The behavior seemed a lot like what followed an attack, but I hadn't heard any hissing, running, or any other noises to lead me to believe there had been one. On a different note, I think I'm going to up the play sessions from one to two since it's so difficult to keep their attention for a long period of time. I can manage this fine during the summer, but I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do when I go back to school. I can barely get out of bed as it is and I'm lucky to manage taking the dog out for a (very) quick jog so playing in the mornings could be an issue.

 

[Animal Freak]

I think today's daily report will be somewhat short. I have decided to keep them separate during feeding time as that's been causing a great deal of issues and I don't know what's causing it to be able to fix it. I'm very much a believer in there being a reason to everything animals do. I do not think a dog would bite for no reason even if that reason is simply it was raised to be aggressive and territorial. However, I can't find the reason for this. My mom said Ash has been protective over his food which, I guess, could have caused some nervousness in Ember, but they normally get over things so quickly. So they're all in different rooms. Today has been rather calm. They all played quite a bit though Ash was a bit tough. I did not increase the amount of play session because, well, at first I forgot and then I went to a friend's house because she found a stray kitten and wanted me to take a look despite my knowing little to nothing about kittens. Not that long ago though, I heard some running. There wasn't any hissing or spitting, but I went to check on things just in case. Ember, the normal culprit, was sitting in the living room with her tail twitching like she was kind of wanting to slap around whoever was making such a ruckus. At first I couldn't see Ash but all of a sudden there was this loud rumbling sound. I could not see him, but I saw Frost under the table looking up so I looked and sure enough, Ash was sitting on the chair looking down on him. I'm pretty sure Ash just growled at Frost. That's a new one.

So maybe not so short, but it was more for the sake of having details than anything major happening.

 

[Animal Freak]

Not much to report today. We had some issues, but not of the same kind as usual. Apparently it's time to trim fur around the back end again(always fun) since Ash managed to snag a little gift in the litter box for us to deal with. It got caught in his fur and was clearly hurting him though I can't help but feel he was maybe a little melodramatic. I must say I don't know exactly what happen as I didn't see it, but I'm guessing he redirected aggression towards Frost, causing Ember to attack him. I broke it up quite easily, but Ember was tense. I grabbed Ash (unaware of his issue at this time) to brush him. Except he acted like I was ripping the fur from his body. Meowing not so pleasantly and even so much as growling at me, he did not make it easy. He wouldn't let me mess with his back leg and went so far as to hiss and act as though he was going to slap me. I thought I smelled something too so I wanted to check his back end, but he wouldn't let me touch him. Eventually I had to have my mom help so I scruffed him while she looked and got a wipe to clean him up. He did not appreciate that. It was the first (and second) time he's ever bitten me in a situation like that though it wasn't much of a bite. He was quite gentle. However, he freaked and I had to let go of him before he actually did attack. We locked him up to calm down. There was no way it would end well with him and Ember in the same room while he was like that and she was still tense.

Other than that, there was some tension while I worked on their dinner, but nothing major. I'm still feeding them in separate rooms. They all played today though I forgot to add in a session. Honestly, I'm kind of wondering if my playing with them isn't just making them more worked up. It's hard to keep their attention of an extended amount of time, but I don't think it's enough to wear them down. So my theory is that I'm really just bringing the energy levels up and not back down because it seems like they're all even more sensitive rather than any calmer.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hi,

I am sorry for the delay, I had to stay an extra week. But I am back now so we can deal with any issues.

Thank you for the updates. I need to read them over a few more times so I understand exactly what has happened.

There are key underlying things we always want to try to achieve. Make every interaction as positive as possible. Associate each other with good things including food and play. Build confidence.

You are exactly right, every action usually happens for a reason. Fear typically. When the fear goes away (of being attacked, hurt, without food, etc) then cats get along.

I am back and will be here for you for as long as needed. Let me read those posts again as I am a little unsure of exactly what has transpired.

Play builds confidence. So we may want to play with them separately in areas where they are less confident (where attacks happen).

Also, if you see any tension try to distract with something as positive as possible. Food, play, anything to distract and avoid a confrontation. Because when a situation ends without an incident it is a positive and builds confidence.

I have to figure out how to address some of the issues in your posts. How to cut and paste with responses. But I will try to figure it out.

PLease feel free to update me where you are now while I do that. I am sorry it took longer than I originally thought.

 

[Animal Freak]

That's fine. I appreciate all the help you've given me so far and that you're willing to continue to do so. I stopped updating partially because I forgot but partially because nothing major has happened. There have been a few small incidents, but no hissing or growling. Just a couple of slaps while I prepare their dinner. I decided to feed them in separate rooms until all signs of aggression were gone.

My biggest problem right now is I'm going to get two of them to the vet. Ash seems to be having issues with his back legs as he won't let me brush them without hissing and growling at me and even preparing to slap. My concern is not for my safety, but his own. He had never done anything to hurt me and I completely trust him. But Ember does not take well to any aggression and always comes running to find the threat. So far I've kept them from fighting, but I'm afraid I'm going to end up with a cat fight on my lap.

I also want to get Frost in because he's been going through phases of not wanting to eat which had caused him to lose weight as well as times of bullying Ember. He's hissed at her and even slapped her a number of times though these phases come and go and do not always line up. However, his tormenting Ember caused us to go through a time of great tension where she would chase Ash on a daily basis. Frost has since stopped and we've had relatively little tension.

 

[calicosrspecial]

That is great things have calmed down a bit. The more calm and time without any negative encounters the more confidence is built. So the key really is too distract to avoid any negative encounters if possible and to try to associate them with something good if possible. We usually use food but if using food turns it negative then backing off was the right thing to do.

Sometimes a vet visit can cause some issues in the short term because of the different scents. It especially matters when a cat is lacking confidence. We'll watch for this.

If you can step up play especially in areas they seem less confident it could help. After a good play session feed a meal.

How is Frost acting otherwise? I don't like that he is losing weight. Usually a cat hisses, chases etc because they feel insecure and are worried about being hurt or having their territory taken away etc. Play usually helps (after play feed). It replicates the hunt, capture, kill, eat way of life in the wild. Really builds confidence and ownership. The more confident and secure the more likely they will accept others.

Anything you can do to make their time together as positive as possible should be helpful. Even if they are hanging out near each other. If there is no incident then it is a positive and another stepping stone in the path to success.

 

[danteshuman]

Weird as it sounds I bought some suede cord for jewelry making and it arrived in the wrong color. So I made a few cat toys out of it. One by tying 3 cords every 8-10 inches... leaving the last bit free. It is about 4 feet long and I drag it around behind me to get my cats to go up and down the stairs ... they love it. It defiantly is sturdy to.

I have a hyper toy hogging attention ***** and a calmer cat that needs his confidence built up. So I play with both of them together and I also play with my shy one by himself (by locking out the toy hog for 10-15 minutes.) I also play with a feather wand and a stuffed critter at the same time, so my toy hog can't hog both toys at once. Since it ends with my toy hog being let in, played with and doted on, he doesn't feel so left out.

Good luck

 

[Animal Freak]

Yes, I thought about issues a vet trip could cause, but Ash has been to the vet a couple of times for a UTI. One of these times was just earlier this year. It hasn't caused an issue yet.

I've been trying to play with then before eating, but sometimes I get stuck talking to the neighbor when I take the dog out for a walk and have even ended up late for their dinner because of this.

Frost has been fine other than those couple of issues. I would have been more worried about it if he stopped playing, but he plays just like normal. In fact, he plays more than the other two. Ash has been a bit difficult to get to play as he'll only run after it a couple of times. Otherwise he normally sits under the table at the end of the couch and watches. I'm happy to say Ember has been playing more lately. Ever since the toy broke she's absolutely loved it. I've stopped playing with the laser light entirely and get her to chase the toy around. She loves jumping after it too. Despite not being very graceful, she's managed to land a number of backflips and even occasionally catches the toy in mid-air.

@danteshuman : I've actually tied a shoe lace around my ankle and walked through the house with it. We don't have any stairs, but I would walk from room to room. They liked it, but weren't thrilled and lost interest fairly quickly. And I nearly went to sleep with it on a couple of times.

Frost is my toy hog. I think he plans it too because there will be moments where no one will play. Then the second one of the other two starts playing, he butts in and he's way more outgoing than the others so they'll back off immediately. I've tried playing with Ember by herself by bringing her in my room since Ash sometimes intimidates her and Frost hogs the toy, but Frost would stand outside the door and scratch at it. Being a nervous cat, the sound would draw her away from the toy and she would just try to get out. I suppose I could try locking Frost up, but the same could happen. We could get further away from him, but she might still be able to hear him. So far they're doing okay playing together. Frost backs off sometimes and will let them play. Once I get their stamina built up a bit more, I'll probably have to separate their play times though.

 

[danteshuman]

I play with my cats every night before bed so I can sleep in peace. The extra length works well because it keeps them out of range of feet ... also I can swish it with my hand. The multiple strings make for more movement/excitement. The leather seems durable and provided it isn't braided, they don't get their claws caught in it.

My hyper guy loves me to fold up newspaper in that ban fold... then tie a knot in the center to make a large paper bow tie. I makes tons of rustling noises for them to hunt ... the slightest tap makes it move. Plus my toy hog loves to destroy them with bites/claws Don't forget the elusive toilet paper roll.

My biggest hint is toy rotation. I soak many of their toys in catnip tubs for 3 weeks, then pull out their toys (and insert the old ones into the tub with catnip.)

 

[calicosrspecial]

Always try to make the toy act like prey, like a bird, a mouse, a rabbit. Watch how they move, let the cat stalk it then pounce. Just like they would in the wild. Bursts of energy. Hunt, capture, kill, the eat - feed.

I am glad Frost is still playing. Maybe it is the heat?

Ember playing more is great, that will help a lot. Build confidence. Territorial ownership. A confident cat is less likely to attack or be attacked.

We will get there. The fact they do get along says it will work, we just need to keep working on them. Building confidence, ownership, making positive associations, minimizing any negative encounters by distracting with something positive. Everything you are experiencing is very normal. Don't worry.

 

[Animal Freak]

I've begun noticing the way the cats like to play. What sort of movements catch their attention. Honestly, despite Frost often hogging the toy, he seems to have very few instincts. Makes sense considering I don't think he's ever managed to catch a mouse. It's normally Ash. I've realized why watching him play. He likes the toy moving very rapidly just back and forth. And then he scrambles across the floor after it. No stalking. Just running. It's funny though because he doesn't always lift himself all the way off the floor. It's more of a very quick army crawl.

Ash is a bit smarter when it comes to the hunt. He waits for it to be "calm" (moving slowly) and will crouch down and wait before pouncing. He only runs in straight lines though and gives up on the chase fairly quickly.

Ember typically waits for the "calm" as she crouches down though she sometimes goes after it when it's moving faster. Then she goes after it and will chase it around for a bit before stopping and restarting. She also sometimes tries to talk to it. When she catches it, she walks away with it. Normally she'll play with it on her own for a moment, maybe lay down, and then come back to me.

Frost has been going through this for a while now - especially if you assume both things are related since the not eating thing has been on and off for some time. I can't remember exactly when he started tormenting Ember. I didn't put the two together since they don't happen consistently at the same time.