So a theif broke into the police station and stole the toilet. The detective in charge of the case said they have nothing to go on.
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
Post Your Best "groaner" Joke
- Thread starter Jem
- Start Date
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2022
- Messages
- 6,484
- Purraise
- 20,857
Another one:
So a dinosaur goes for a walk and he comes across a magic lamp. He picks it up and rubs it and a genie appears. "I will give you three wishes" says the genie
Dinosaur thinks then says "I want a shower of meat" genie makes it happen
Dinosaur then says "I want a second shower of meat bigger than the first" so the genie makes it rain meat even heavier
Dinosaur then sees the meat version of pound signs and shouts out "I want a MEATIER shower" so the genie, misunderstanding him, then makes it rain METEORS (spelling)
So a dinosaur goes for a walk and he comes across a magic lamp. He picks it up and rubs it and a genie appears. "I will give you three wishes" says the genie
Dinosaur thinks then says "I want a shower of meat" genie makes it happen
Dinosaur then says "I want a second shower of meat bigger than the first" so the genie makes it rain meat even heavier
Dinosaur then sees the meat version of pound signs and shouts out "I want a MEATIER shower" so the genie, misunderstanding him, then makes it rain METEORS (spelling)
Last edited by a moderator:
- Joined
- May 9, 2016
- Messages
- 6,206
- Purraise
- 42,068
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2022
- Messages
- 6,484
- Purraise
- 20,857
Did you hear that David Hasselhoff changed his name to David Hoff? He said his last name isn't worth the hassle.
This is not a joke but another true story. Bob's front legs are significantly shorter than his back legs.
DH: Bob is a bamboo.
Me: A what?
DH: You know, a bamboo!
Now by this time I am laughing hysterically.
Me: Bamboo is a tree. Are you talking about the things with the red butts?
DH: Yes, Bob walks like one of those things with the red butts!
Me: That's a baboon.
DH: Yeah, he walks with his butt up in the air, like a gorilla.
I had tears rolling down my face by the time the conversation was over. DH isn't stupid, but the more he said bamboo, the funnier it got.
DH: Bob is a bamboo.
Me: A what?
DH: You know, a bamboo!
Now by this time I am laughing hysterically.
Me: Bamboo is a tree. Are you talking about the things with the red butts?
DH: Yes, Bob walks like one of those things with the red butts!
Me: That's a baboon.
DH: Yeah, he walks with his butt up in the air, like a gorilla.
I had tears rolling down my face by the time the conversation was over. DH isn't stupid, but the more he said bamboo, the funnier it got.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2015
- Messages
- 28,188
- Purraise
- 18,571
HADDA SCREAM OUT LOUD FOR THIS ONE . . . .
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2022
- Messages
- 6,484
- Purraise
- 20,857
OK, you got me with that one!
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2015
- Messages
- 28,188
- Purraise
- 18,571
The Department of Redundancy Department? 
Buckwheat { on the Little Rascals } converted to the Islam religion.
His new name is Kareem Dawheat.
His new name is Kareem Dawheat.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2015
- Messages
- 28,188
- Purraise
- 18,571
A father passing by his son's bedroom
Noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that mari*juana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Josh
P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home
Noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that mari*juana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Josh
P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home
