Post Your Best "groaner" Joke

[iPappy]

(With no offense to blondes...)

A blonde was sitting at a bar, deep in thought. A man walked by and asked if she was OK. She said "Yes, I'm just trying to figure out how I only have 3 sisters, but my brother has 4."

 

[iPappy]

(Stolen from the internet...)

Working people frequently ask retired people what
they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day, my wife and I
went into town and visited a shop.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man,
how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an “a******” . He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.
So Mary called him a “poop head”. He finished the
second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we yelled at him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it
and went home.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age.

 

[Mia6]

(With no offense to blondes...)

A blonde was sitting at a bar, deep in thought. A man walked by and asked if she was OK. She said "Yes, I'm just trying to figure out how I only have 3 sisters, but my brother has 4."

lmao!!!!!!

 

[Mia6]

 

[doomsdave]

Yes DEER!

 

[doomsdave]

 

[doomsdave]

 

[doomsdave]

 

[doomsdave]

 

[Jem]

After winning the game I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV...
Apparently, that's not acceptable in bowling.

 

[Margret]

So, a friend of a friend got his first COVID vaccine at a vaccination center. He waited around 15 minutes afterwards, in case of allergies, and then he headed home. But on his way home he noticed that his vision was blurry. He figured it would clear up on its own, and kept driving. But it didn't clear up. By the time he got home he was thoroughly panicked.

Well, it had started at the vaccination center, surely they would know what to do, so he called them. By this time he was frantic with worry. He told them about the blurred vision, and didn't wait to hear what they had to say; he just kept babbling, panicking more and more by the second. "What do I do? I should call my doctor. No! That'll take too long! I should go straight to the emergency room, right?"

At this point he had to stop long enough to breathe, and a soothing voice on the other end said, "Everything will be okay. Here's what you should do. First, get a big glass of water and drink it, slowly. Take some slow, deep breaths, no hyperventilating. Then, once you feel better, and not before, you should come back here and pick up your glasses."