Post Your Best "groaner" Joke

[Jem]

So, I'm going to start it off with the best (IMO), worst joke ever!!!

What's brown and sticky?
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A Stick!
LOL!!!!!

 

[Jem]

And here is another....

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
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A fsh!

 

[tangers40]

Two guys walk into a bar.



The third one ducks.

 

[debbila]

How can you tell if an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator?

Footprints in the butter!

 

[aliceneko]

Why can't Peter Pan fly?

He neverlands.

 

[debbila]

What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburned zebra

 

[NY cat man]

A man encounters another guy dragging a chain behind him, so he asks him why he is doing that. Replies the dragger " Did you ever try to push one?"

 

[debbila]

A bear goes into a bar and says to the bartender, " I'll have a . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . " Bartender says, " Why the big pause? " Bear says, " I was born with them! ".

 

[Boris Diamond]

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

If it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!

 

[debbila]

Why didn't the apple and orange marry?

Cantelope

 

[FflurCadwgawn]

Not actually a joke but.....

I manage a cemetery for my day job and have recently been doing quite a lot of historic preservation for it.

Everyone asks, without realizing it, "Isn't that a big undertaking.......oh, wait *facepalm*"

 

[Mother Dragon]

Why was the banana so sad?
He'd lost his a-peel.
(Slipped that one in on you, didn't I?)

 

[Mother Dragon]

Why was the cat mad at the groomer?
He'd been detailed.

Where did he get a new tail?
At a retail store.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Why was the cat mad at the groomer?
He'd been detailed.

Where did he get a new tail?
At a retail store.

Oh, that's bad!!!
........but I like it!!

How do you catch a unique rabbit?


Unique up on it.
How do you catch a TAME rabbit?


Tame way, unique up on it.

 

[1 bruce 1]

What magazine do cows like to read?


Cattle-logues

 

[NY cat man]

How do you stop a charging elephant?
Take his credit card.

 

[Mother Dragon]

Oh, that's bad!!!
........but I like it!!

How do you catch a unique rabbit?


Unique up on it.
How do you catch a TAME rabbit?


Tame way, unique up on it.

Hiss! Boo!

 

[1 bruce 1]

What did the frog say to the rhinosaurus?


He said "ribbit" of course
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?



They kept dropping their trunks

 

[Caspers Human]

Q: Why did the duck cross the road?

A: It was the chicken's day off.

 

[1 bruce 1]

From Readers Digest:

What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?


One requires tweetment, and the other oinkment.
Well hell I've made myself groan.