Need guidance on cat introductions

[calicosrspecial]

Yes, before. Just a quick hiss right after he smelled the tip of his tail.



It's sometimes quite a bit but only ever from Charly.


How can I tell the difference?



With each other a bit like in the vids, a bit more swatting and some more growling from Charly but they did end up having treats sitting next to each other almost touching. Then I separated and ended it. On their own, they were both normal and Charly came to cuddle on my lap a few minutes later and fell asleep.



Nothing, just walked around. He went under the bed and popped out the other side and went to check out the kitchen some. He seemed a bit unsure but he always does in the main room (less and less) - he's still not very familiar with that part of the flat.


Maybe I'm misreading their body language and Charlys vocalisations. The growling, hissing and swatting put me off a lot and unsettle me a bit.


After watching tons of videos tonight i am starting to think maybe he's starting to want to play or interact with Yoda too, but is still nervous about it rather than what I've interpreted (hostile and itching to attack)?



Also noticed the feliway in "his" room was almost out. He's always been a nervous scaredy cat at times and feliway and of course routines as well as tons of play help but the vet says some of it is just his character and he'll always be a little prone to stress and anxiety. Even pre Yoda, I could tell the feliway was running out from his change in behaviour (like energy through the roof, running around like crazy, getting carried away when playing with me (always with fishing pole but when he's like this he'll lunge at my foot). Has improved tremendously over the last year but it's a learning curve.



When they were in the table/on the table? Nothing much happened, I don't remember how but I got them out of that situation and I think got them into the living room where there is more space and not as much risk of one feeling cornered or anything.



What do you interpret their intent to be in video 4? I think Yoda was wanting to play. What about Charly?


I've been spending half of my day watching videos of cats body language, fighting/playing to get a better idea (on sick leave now so I have lots of time lol). I just worry way too much and I'm really really not good at interpreting cat on cat interactions. I'm trying to learn more about it, so whenever I'm not sleeping or with them I've been watching and reading things regarding that.



Why careful? Am I rewarding his hissing/growling behaviour?
After the video I ended the interaction as I really wasn't feeling good and actually had to go get a COVID swab (neg) to make sure I hadn't put anyone at school at risk, so I ended it there. They were normal after in their respective rooms.


Any idea why Charly is now sitting on me rather than the floor or the couch? Is he scared? Territorial? Wanting to get closer to my treat holding hand?



Thank you so much! I've just read everywhere now that if it is play, cats shouldn't be hissing (let alone growling) so I got it in my head since Charly hisses and growls A LOT he must be hostile towards Yoda.
I was (still am) worried about him never having been with cats and in general, not having learned some things that other cats usually do. He's gotten soooo much better over time but still occasionally lashes out against me (when he's playing vigorously or when over stimulated in general) or my partner sometimes if he gets startled by a movement. He will also sometimes squish between us and then meow unhappily and get agitated as if we had just cornered him, and he will strike unless we a) sit perfectly still, unmoving as he will go for whatever moves first or b) get up and go somewhere else. It doesn't happen often now but still does.

Anyways, thank you so much and I'll keep at it then! I need to learn more about their body language and how to read their interactions better.

"Yes, before. Just a quick hiss right after he smelled the tip of his tail." - Ok

"It's sometimes quite a bit but only ever from Charly." - Ok and yes. But Charly's body language doe not suggest the growling is serious. If that makes sense. And of course his actions are either really good or mild.

"How can I tell the difference?" - So body language, actions, and how they act after. So if the ears are back, tail big, hair up, eyes dilated (though some cats just get that without an issue). Actions, how aggressive the swats are, the movements towards the other cat, etc. Actions after - So any hiding, avoiding, acting different. It takes some experience but you have good instincts so observing them you will see the difference in time. Does that help? I guess I see it and know but communicating why is a bit difficult. When it is serious you kinda know.

"With each other a bit like in the vids, a bit more swatting and some more growling from Charly" - Ok

" but they did end up having treats sitting next to each other almost touching. " - Ok, and that tells us everything that whatever it was it wasn't serious (because what cat would be fine next to another cat they fear, etc?).

"Then I separated and ended it." - Perfect

" On their own, they were both normal and Charly came to cuddle on my lap a few minutes later and fell asleep." - And that tells us everything. IF there were issues there would be lingering signs (hiding, avoiding, abnormal behavior, etc).

"Nothing, just walked around. He went under the bed and popped out the other side and went to check out the kitchen some. He seemed a bit unsure but he always does in the main room (less and less) - he's still not very familiar with that part of the flat." - Perfect so that tells me he didn't view it as any issue.

"Maybe I'm misreading their body language and Charlys vocalisations. The growling, hissing and swatting put me off a lot and unsettle me a bit." - Understandably. And of course I would prefer no swatting etc. but this is normal in the process (they are working out the rules of the house) and it isn't leading to any unrest, etc.

"After watching tons of videos tonight i am starting to think maybe he's starting to want to play or interact with Yoda too, but is still nervous about it rather than what I've interpreted (hostile and itching to attack)?" - Yes which is normal for a resident cat that is now having to share their territory (and territory is really important to cats). Add to it that Charly didn't really have the proper upbringing (bottle baby) so maybe doesn't have the strongest social skills like Yoda had. I am very proud Charly is doing so well!!!

"Also noticed the feliway in "his" room was almost out. He's always been a nervous scaredy cat at times and feliway and of course routines as well as tons of play help" - Ok and yes Feliway can help and play (Confidence building) and routines (cats are creatures of habit) help tremendousely.

" but the vet says some of it is just his character and he'll always be a little prone to stress and anxiety." - Yes. ANd being a bottle baby is probably part of that. BUT Charly is doing great!!!

" Even pre Yoda, I could tell the feliway was running out from his change in behaviour (like energy through the roof, running around like crazy, getting carried away when playing with me (always with fishing pole but when he's like this he'll lunge at my foot). " - Interesting

"Has improved tremendously over the last year but it's a learning curve." - Great. Charly is a great cat it seems to me.

"When they were in the table/on the table?" - Yes

" Nothing much happened, I don't remember how but I got them out of that situation and I think got them into the living room where there is more space and not as much risk of one feeling cornered or anything." - Ok, great. So that supports my view that it was all play. Fantastic!!! This is why we watch how they act after to tell us what they really think of what happened.

"What do you interpret their intent to be in video 4? I think Yoda was wanting to play. What about Charly?" - Yoda started it and it looks like Charly was defensive. That tells me though he trusts Yoda he doesn't trust fully (which is normal) and the fact he jumps off supports it was defensive, a bit of fear of Yoda (which again is normal for a resident cat at this stage).

"I've been spending half of my day watching videos of cats body language, fighting/playing to get a better idea (on sick leave now so I have lots of time lol)." - Ok, well just get well soon!!!

" I just worry way too much " - Yes BUT it is because you love them and want what is best for them. It is very common.

"and I'm really really not good at interpreting cat on cat interactions. I'm trying to learn more about it, so whenever I'm not sleeping or with them I've been watching and reading things regarding that." - Well, I think you are better than you think but don't trust yourself yet. Hopefully I am helping explain why I interpret the way I do.

"Why careful? Am I rewarding his hissing/growling behaviour?" - No just so you don't get scratched or accidentally bitten. When a cat gets a bit full of energy things can happen (not intentionally).

"After the video I ended the interaction as I really wasn't feeling good and actually had to go get a COVID swab (neg) to make sure I hadn't put anyone at school at risk, so I ended it there." - Ok good job. Whew, I am SO GLAD you are Covid neg!!!

" They were normal after in their respective rooms. " - Perfect and again that tells us everything about how they viewed it. (Fine).

"Any idea why Charly is now sitting on me rather than the floor or the couch? Is he scared? Territorial? Wanting to get closer to my treat holding hand?" - Great question. Firstly because he loves you. He discovered or remembered how warm and comfy laps are. It gives safety, confidence. Could be a bit of territorial behavior but given I don't see any other real issues it is not an issue. COuld be near treats. But my guess he just wants to be with you and loves the lap. I think it is wonderful, positive.

"Thank you so much!" - You are welcome. Thank you for all you are doing!!

" I've just read everywhere now that if it is play, cats shouldn't be hissing (let alone growling) so I got it in my head since Charly hisses and growls A LOT he must be hostile towards Yoda." - It is more nuanced than that. Yes, ideally there will be no hissing and growling BUT some cats do that. It is all about context and what else is happening. Not just the hissing and growling in isolation. Does that make sense?

"I was (still am) worried about him never having been with cats and in general, not having learned some things that other cats usually do. " - He is doing great. Amazingly well. I think you have done a wonderful job. I wouldn't worry that much at all.

"He's gotten soooo much better over time" - Great so you are doing it right!!

" but still occasionally lashes out against me (when he's playing vigorously or when over stimulated in general) or my partner sometimes if he gets startled by a movement." - Yes, MANY cats will. That is not abnormal.

" He will also sometimes squish between us and then meow unhappily and get agitated as if we had just cornered him, and he will strike unless we a) sit perfectly still, unmoving as he will go for whatever moves first or b) get up and go somewhere else. It doesn't happen often now but still does." - Yes but that is easy to deal with. That happens with some cats.

"Anyways, thank you so much and I'll keep at it then! " - You are welcome and agreed. You and they are doing great.

"I need to learn more about their body language and how to read their interactions better. " - You will learn. Hopefully I am helping a bit. What to look for and why. As we do this more you will learn. All will be well.

Keep up the great work and stay safe (Covid).

 

[noani]

Thank you! I've been able to chill a bit more. Much more actually. Trying to see them from your perspective helps so much!

So today they were out in the whole flat for about an hour and half, two hours maybe. I'm still on sick leave so of course I'm kind of around keeping an eye (ear) on them.

We started off by playing - Yoda playing on bed with his feather and Charly with his soft toy on a makeshift fishing pole on the floor/sometimes on bed. After that, they got some dinner and had a bit but both didn't finish. Then I just kind of let them be.. There was lots of chasing (sometimes Charly chased, sometimes Yoda). Some swatting paws. Some paw play under the table lol.
I think overall they were playing. Their attitude was curious/wary but overall ok. They would explore each others rooms a bit and then get together for some chase or pawing. Charly hissed a good few times but Yoda respects it. He also growled a couple of times but then nothing happened and they went back to both being playful with each other.

Towards the end Yoda got a bit overexcited and full on jumped on him. He rolled over and hissed real good to which Yoda backed off. So I went to get out some treats and they both had treats sitting next to each other practically touching. So all seems fine. After I closed the doors, they finished their respective dinners and now are quiet. So seems it wasn't a big deal.
Charly also went to his litterbox (no 2) while Yoda was very near (on bed next to it) and later laid down relaxedly in the middle of the floor in front of the bed while Yoda was on bed.

It's weird though, the "worst" was when I sat on the bed with them. When they're by themselves they work things out mostly, but then I sit down next to Yoda and cuddle him and Charly jumps up and sitting behind my leg gets very swatty and hissy and agitated. That happened twice actually.

So overall I think it's been a successful day?

 

[noani]

From earlier today:
And this one during their extended together time. There were some moments of swatting and hissing but also like this and eating treats very very close. The one on the right instigating here is Charly actually I didn't get any videos of the "rougher" (in my view lol) situations but they were all like you've seen in previous videos (the ones where I think Charl hates him, wants to attack him, etc. Basically like that but I didn't intervene and either Yoda backed off or they just went different ways and then back to more playful almost immediately). So overall I think it went well.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thank you! I've been able to chill a bit more. Much more actually. Trying to see them from your perspective helps so much!

So today they were out in the whole flat for about an hour and half, two hours maybe. I'm still on sick leave so of course I'm kind of around keeping an eye (ear) on them.

We started off by playing - Yoda playing on bed with his feather and Charly with his soft toy on a makeshift fishing pole on the floor/sometimes on bed. After that, they got some dinner and had a bit but both didn't finish. Then I just kind of let them be.. There was lots of chasing (sometimes Charly chased, sometimes Yoda). Some swatting paws. Some paw play under the table lol.
I think overall they were playing. Their attitude was curious/wary but overall ok. They would explore each others rooms a bit and then get together for some chase or pawing. Charly hissed a good few times but Yoda respects it. He also growled a couple of times but then nothing happened and they went back to both being playful with each other.

Towards the end Yoda got a bit overexcited and full on jumped on him. He rolled over and hissed real good to which Yoda backed off. So I went to get out some treats and they both had treats sitting next to each other practically touching. So all seems fine. After I closed the doors, they finished their respective dinners and now are quiet. So seems it wasn't a big deal.
Charly also went to his litterbox (no 2) while Yoda was very near (on bed next to it) and later laid down relaxedly in the middle of the floor in front of the bed while Yoda was on bed.

It's weird though, the "worst" was when I sat on the bed with them. When they're by themselves they work things out mostly, but then I sit down next to Yoda and cuddle him and Charly jumps up and sitting behind my leg gets very swatty and hissy and agitated. That happened twice actually.

So overall I think it's been a successful day?

"Thank you! I've been able to chill a bit more. Much more actually. Trying to see them from your perspective helps so much!" - You are welcome. Great!!!

"So today they were out in the whole flat for about an hour and half, two hours maybe. I'm still on sick leave so of course I'm kind of around keeping an eye (ear) on them." - Wow, GREAT if it went well (must have).

"We started off by playing - Yoda playing on bed with his feather and Charly with his soft toy on a makeshift fishing pole on the floor/sometimes on bed." - Awwwww, perfect

" After that, they got some dinner and had a bit but both didn't finish." - Ok, that is fine

" Then I just kind of let them be.. There was lots of chasing (sometimes Charly chased, sometimes Yoda). Some swatting paws. Some paw play under the table lol." - Ok, interesting. I would have loved ot have been there to see it. Yoda chasing (playing) as well. Very interesting. No changes in behavior after the chases or swatting?

"I think overall they were playing." - Ok, good. The fact they were together so long tells me you are correct.

" Their attitude was curious/wary but overall ok." - Expected and great.

" They would explore each others rooms a bit and then get together for some chase or pawing." - Awwwwwwwww

" Charly hissed a good few times but Yoda respects it." - That is ok and great he respect it. SO helpful!!

" He also growled a couple of times but then nothing happened and they went back to both being playful with each other." - Awwwwww. The growling is probably just a warning to not try anything.

"Towards the end Yoda got a bit overexcited and full on jumped on him. He rolled over and hissed real good to which Yoda backed off." - Awwwwwwwww

" So I went to get out some treats and they both had treats sitting next to each other practically touching." - PERFECT!!! That was just Yoda playing and Charly must be learning he is ok and doesn't mean anything by it.

" So all seems fine." - Agreed

" After I closed the doors, they finished their respective dinners and now are quiet. So seems it wasn't a big deal." - Agreed, perfect.

"Charly also went to his litterbox (no 2) while Yoda was very near (on bed next to it) and later laid down relaxedly in the middle of the floor in front of the bed while Yoda was on bed." - Perfect!!!

"It's weird though, the "worst" was when I sat on the bed with them. When they're by themselves they work things out mostly, but then I sit down next to Yoda and cuddle him and Charly jumps up and sitting behind my leg gets very swatty and hissy and agitated. That happened twice actually." - Naw, that is not surprising. That is not a big deal. Just talk to Charly, lovingly, reassure him, etc.

"So overall I think it's been a successful day? " - AGREED!!!!

Video 1 - PERFECT!!! Amazing. Yep, they are just fine. Are they they most adorable or what?!?!?!?!

Video 2 - SO CUTE Yoda wanted to play, Charly was like "not now' BUT was great about it. Then Yoda stretches, Charly acts normal. PERFECT!!! The hissing is totally not an issue in that one.

Video 3 - PERFECT. What can I say??? ADORABLE and perfect. No issues whatsoever. Perfect. Even the tension is miniscule.

Video 4 - All play and so cute. And it diffuses with nothing negative (the growl was not an issue). Terrific!!

The videos are AMAZING!!! They have A LOT of trust and actually like each other. Great cats!!!

"And this one during their extended together time. There were some moments of swatting and hissing but also like this and eating treats" - Great

""rougher" (in my view lol) situations but they were all like you've seen in previous videos (the ones where I think Charl hates him, wants to attack him, etc. " - Ok, so not bad and supported by how they acted after

"Basically like that but I didn't intervene and either Yoda backed off or they just went different ways and then back to more playful almost immediately)." - Exactly and that is how we can tell where they are (doing great!!).

"So overall I think it went well." - Beyond well, FANTSTICALLY!! Keep up the great work and keep doing what you are doing. They are doing great!!!
GREAT JOB!!!

 

[noani]

"Thank you! I've been able to chill a bit more. Much more actually. Trying to see them from your perspective helps so much!" - You are welcome. Great!!!

"So today they were out in the whole flat for about an hour and half, two hours maybe. I'm still on sick leave so of course I'm kind of around keeping an eye (ear) on them." - Wow, GREAT if it went well (must have).

"We started off by playing - Yoda playing on bed with his feather and Charly with his soft toy on a makeshift fishing pole on the floor/sometimes on bed." - Awwwww, perfect

" After that, they got some dinner and had a bit but both didn't finish." - Ok, that is fine

" Then I just kind of let them be.. There was lots of chasing (sometimes Charly chased, sometimes Yoda). Some swatting paws. Some paw play under the table lol." - Ok, interesting. I would have loved ot have been there to see it. Yoda chasing (playing) as well. Very interesting. No changes in behavior after the chases or swatting?

"I think overall they were playing." - Ok, good. The fact they were together so long tells me you are correct.

" Their attitude was curious/wary but overall ok." - Expected and great.

" They would explore each others rooms a bit and then get together for some chase or pawing." - Awwwwwwwww

" Charly hissed a good few times but Yoda respects it." - That is ok and great he respect it. SO helpful!!

" He also growled a couple of times but then nothing happened and they went back to both being playful with each other." - Awwwwww. The growling is probably just a warning to not try anything.

"Towards the end Yoda got a bit overexcited and full on jumped on him. He rolled over and hissed real good to which Yoda backed off." - Awwwwwwwww

" So I went to get out some treats and they both had treats sitting next to each other practically touching." - PERFECT!!! That was just Yoda playing and Charly must be learning he is ok and doesn't mean anything by it.

" So all seems fine." - Agreed

" After I closed the doors, they finished their respective dinners and now are quiet. So seems it wasn't a big deal." - Agreed, perfect.

"Charly also went to his litterbox (no 2) while Yoda was very near (on bed next to it) and later laid down relaxedly in the middle of the floor in front of the bed while Yoda was on bed." - Perfect!!!

"It's weird though, the "worst" was when I sat on the bed with them. When they're by themselves they work things out mostly, but then I sit down next to Yoda and cuddle him and Charly jumps up and sitting behind my leg gets very swatty and hissy and agitated. That happened twice actually." - Naw, that is not surprising. That is not a big deal. Just talk to Charly, lovingly, reassure him, etc.

"So overall I think it's been a successful day? " - AGREED!!!!

Video 1 - PERFECT!!! Amazing. Yep, they are just fine. Are they they most adorable or what?!?!?!?!

Video 2 - SO CUTE Yoda wanted to play, Charly was like "not now' BUT was great about it. Then Yoda stretches, Charly acts normal. PERFECT!!! The hissing is totally not an issue in that one.

Video 3 - PERFECT. What can I say??? ADORABLE and perfect. No issues whatsoever. Perfect. Even the tension is miniscule.

Video 4 - All play and so cute. And it diffuses with nothing negative (the growl was not an issue). Terrific!!

The videos are AMAZING!!! They have A LOT of trust and actually like each other. Great cats!!!

"And this one during their extended together time. There were some moments of swatting and hissing but also like this and eating treats" - Great

""rougher" (in my view lol) situations but they were all like you've seen in previous videos (the ones where I think Charl hates him, wants to attack him, etc. " - Ok, so not bad and supported by how they acted after

"Basically like that but I didn't intervene and either Yoda backed off or they just went different ways and then back to more playful almost immediately)." - Exactly and that is how we can tell where they are (doing great!!).

"So overall I think it went well." - Beyond well, FANTSTICALLY!! Keep up the great work and keep doing what you are doing. They are doing great!!!
GREAT JOB!!!

Thanks

They were out for about 2 hours this morning together having the run of the house while I kept an ear and sometimes an eye on them.

Some hissing, a little growling. They didn't get into a fight and have been spending also some time less focused on each other but they will always perk up and run after the other when they hear him haha.

They get into some pretty intense swatting or pawing matches which I don't know how to interpret but I've been letting the hissing, growling, swatting happen as part of "letting them work some stuff out by themselves". Yoda is giving him more space sometimes.

The "incidents" of hissing swatting growling are same as in previous vids but I'll try and get some footage maybe later today of how they do when out together for extended time.

They always act normal after and will accept treats sitting next to each other touching right after this. Charly will also turn his back on him to groom or walk off tail held high right after.

This morning, I let them both out when I woke up and they did good, then I opened food for them but only Yoda ate. Charly only ate when Yoda was back in his room for a few mins (I put him back so Charly would eat). When he was done I let him back out.
Not sure why, they've eaten together before and they will eat treats sitting very close but maybe Charly is just too distracted by Yoda and the newly opened room? Not sure.

How long should I keep the interactions? I wanted to let it go and see if they would get tired and go nap but I think we're not there yet so I separated after two hours so both could get some rest in their spaces.
Also, how much swatting and hissing and growling is ok and part of them working it out and how much is too much and I should intervene or step it back so it doesn't become negative experience esp. For Charly?

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thanks

They were out for about 2 hours this morning together having the run of the house while I kept an ear and sometimes an eye on them.

Some hissing, a little growling. They didn't get into a fight and have been spending also some time less focused on each other but they will always perk up and run after the other when they hear him haha.

They get into some pretty intense swatting or pawing matches which I don't know how to interpret but I've been letting the hissing, growling, swatting happen as part of "letting them work some stuff out by themselves". Yoda is giving him more space sometimes.

The "incidents" of hissing swatting growling are same as in previous vids but I'll try and get some footage maybe later today of how they do when out together for extended time.

They always act normal after and will accept treats sitting next to each other touching right after this. Charly will also turn his back on him to groom or walk off tail held high right after.

This morning, I let them both out when I woke up and they did good, then I opened food for them but only Yoda ate. Charly only ate when Yoda was back in his room for a few mins (I put him back so Charly would eat). When he was done I let him back out.
Not sure why, they've eaten together before and they will eat treats sitting very close but maybe Charly is just too distracted by Yoda and the newly opened room? Not sure.

How long should I keep the interactions? I wanted to let it go and see if they would get tired and go nap but I think we're not there yet so I separated after two hours so both could get some rest in their spaces.
Also, how much swatting and hissing and growling is ok and part of them working it out and how much is too much and I should intervene or step it back so it doesn't become negative experience esp. For Charly?

"Thanks " - You are welcome

"They were out for about 2 hours this morning together having the run of the house while I kept an ear and sometimes an eye on them." - WOW!!! Can you imagine it has moved this quickly? I thought all would be well but even this speed suprises me. FANTASTIC job!!!

"Some hissing, a little growling." - Ok, expected. It all depends on what then happens.

" They didn't get into a fight " - GREAT!!

"and have been spending also some time less focused on each other" - PERFECT!!! That is the sign we like to see but doesn;t always have to happen.

"but they will always perk up and run after the other when they hear him haha." - Awwwww, of course, other cats are fun!!!

"They get into some pretty intense swatting or pawing matches which I don't know how to interpret but I've been letting the hissing, growling, swatting happen as part of "letting them work some stuff out by themselves". Yoda is giving him more space sometimes." - ok, just keep an eye on it so it doesn't escalate. It is more art than science so just use your instincts (they are very good).

"The "incidents" of hissing swatting growling are same as in previous vids but I'll try and get some footage maybe later today of how they do when out together for extended time." - Ok, good so not really an issue at this point.

"They always act normal after and will accept treats sitting next to each other touching right after this. Charly will also turn his back on him to groom or walk off tail held high right after." - GREAT those are REALLY important signs that they think it is not an issue.

"This morning, I let them both out when I woke up and they did good, then I opened food for them but only Yoda ate. " - Great and ok.

"Charly only ate when Yoda was back in his room for a few mins (I put him back so Charly would eat). When he was done I let him back out." - That is fine. As long as nothing negative happens it is fine.

"Not sure why, they've eaten together before and they will eat treats sitting very close but maybe Charly is just too distracted by Yoda and the newly opened room? Not sure." - Who knows, they are cats. Could be a bunch of things but none that are concerning.

"How long should I keep the interactions? I wanted to let it go and see if they would get tired and go nap but I think we're not there yet so I separated after two hours so both could get some rest in their spaces." - Ok, good job. I agree with your goal of them ending it BUT that is a lofty goal for young energetic cats. How long? As long as possible as long as it stays positive. Try to end it on a good positive note.

"Also, how much swatting and hissing and growling is ok and part of them working it out and how much is too much and I should intervene or step it back so it doesn't become negative experience esp. For Charly? " - Great question. Use your instincts, you know the cats well now. So if you sense it is too wild, too much, you see negative body language, etc then distract. IF they are fine after you know it was fine. If they act abnormally then it went on too long. So look to how fast they rebound. If in doubt diffuse it early. But I am not getting a sense the risk is high. They are doing great so far.

I wish I had more concrete answers but it really depends. You are doing great so I am confident you will find the right balance. And at this point they have a good base of trust and respect so if you make a mistake they can recover.

I hope that helps a little. GRET job!! I am so impressed with Yoda, Charly and you! GREAT JOB!!!

 

[noani]

They seem to be doing quite good today.
They've been out together for about 3 hours so far this evening (after the two hours this morning). I'm hearing much less hissing (almost none) and seeing much less incessant following. They are becoming better at giving each other space to pass in narrow areas and Charly seems relaxed - he just came for lap cuddles at his usual time while Yoda was chilling on cat tree.
They also both had dinner together tonight.
Charly has been up on his fave chill spots watching Yoda a bit but they both seem ok with each other.

You can see in the video the way Charly sometimes swats him. Not sure how to read it but it never leads to anything. Yoda just backs off and walks away, comes to me instead or walks around snffing and exploring. They've also had a couple of swatting matches like in the video where I panicked a few days ago, but they also don't lead to anything and they go about minding their business after for the most part.

Oh they also played simultaneously again. Requires some coordination and contorting on my part but it's doable. Charly is now almost 100% focused on his toy rather than Yoda when they are both playing. He's also using his litterbox and scratching pole as usual. And he's eating normally with Yoda around today. Also the lap cuddles at usual time look promising to me.

The 5 hours today so far in total that they've been out together have required little to no distraction or interventon from me (when Charly went to the litterbox I distracted Yoda with his toy a bit as he was too curious).

It's been very quiet these three hours actually. They were always running and hissing etc before but it's real quiet tonight. Both seem fine.

Let's see what you think about the interaction in the vid. Nothing else has really happened apart from an occasional hiss (respected) and some swats but both are getting less. I wanted to leave them out a bit longer, probably until I go to sleep. But they were paw playing after three hours and then I heard some growl hissing. It was Charly and they were swatting intensely. Yoda was kinda coming at him from above a bit and had his ears back a bit? So I grabbed some treats in the kitchen to distract and it worked fine. They both came running and had their treats sitting so close their noses were practically touching. No issue. Then I dropped a big piece and Charly grabbed it and they started quarelling over that. They got a bit swatty (both) and hissy (Charly). Yoda actually looked more offensive in those two situations... Hm.
I've separated them for now. Charly is acting normally and Yoda seems fine in there too. Maybe after a bit of cool off I'll let them out a bit together before sleep.

 

[calicosrspecial]

They seem to be doing quite good today.
They've been out together for about 3 hours so far this evening (after the two hours this morning). I'm hearing much less hissing (almost none) and seeing much less incessant following. They are becoming better at giving each other space to pass in narrow areas and Charly seems relaxed - he just came for lap cuddles at his usual time while Yoda was chilling on cat tree.
They also both had dinner together tonight.
Charly has been up on his fave chill spots watching Yoda a bit but they both seem ok with each other.

You can see in the video the way Charly sometimes swats him. Not sure how to read it but it never leads to anything. Yoda just backs off and walks away, comes to me instead or walks around snffing and exploring. They've also had a couple of swatting matches like in the video where I panicked a few days ago, but they also don't lead to anything and they go about minding their business after for the most part.

Oh they also played simultaneously again. Requires some coordination and contorting on my part but it's doable. Charly is now almost 100% focused on his toy rather than Yoda when they are both playing. He's also using his litterbox and scratching pole as usual. And he's eating normally with Yoda around today. Also the lap cuddles at usual time look promising to me.

The 5 hours today so far in total that they've been out together have required little to no distraction or interventon from me (when Charly went to the litterbox I distracted Yoda with his toy a bit as he was too curious).

It's been very quiet these three hours actually. They were always running and hissing etc before but it's real quiet tonight. Both seem fine.

Let's see what you think about the interaction in the vid. Nothing else has really happened apart from an occasional hiss (respected) and some swats but both are getting less. I wanted to leave them out a bit longer, probably until I go to sleep. But they were paw playing after three hours and then I heard some growl hissing. It was Charly and they were swatting intensely. Yoda was kinda coming at him from above a bit and had his ears back a bit? So I grabbed some treats in the kitchen to distract and it worked fine. They both came running and had their treats sitting so close their noses were practically touching. No issue. Then I dropped a big piece and Charly grabbed it and they started quarelling over that. They got a bit swatty (both) and hissy (Charly). Yoda actually looked more offensive in those two situations... Hm.
I've separated them for now. Charly is acting normally and Yoda seems fine in there too. Maybe after a bit of cool off I'll let them out a bit together before sleep.

Video - Fantastic. Charly is great when Yoda jumps up and even when Yoda goes towards him. They look at each other, they both look away (TERRIFIC!!). Then Charly paws a bit but so restrained. And Yoda respects and then it is fine. Perfect. Actually moments like that build trust. Fantastic video that tells me they are just fine.

"They've been out together for about 3 hours so far this evening (after the two hours this morning)." - WOW!!!

" I'm hearing much less hissing (almost none) and seeing much less incessant following. " - GREAT!!

"They are becoming better at giving each other space to pass in narrow areas and Charly seems relaxed - he just came for lap cuddles at his usual time while Yoda was chilling on cat tree." - FANTASTIC!!

"They also both had dinner together tonight." - Awwwwwww

"Charly has been up on his fave chill spots watching Yoda a bit but they both seem ok with each other." - GREAT!!!

"You can see in the video the way Charly sometimes swats him." - That is a "don't try anything" and it is even getting more gentile.

" Not sure how to read it but it never leads to anything." - See above.

" Yoda just backs off and walks away, comes to me instead or walks around snffing and exploring." - Yes, he is great and that is so helpful in Charly building trust.

" They've also had a couple of swatting matches like in the video where I panicked a few days ago, but they also don't lead to anything and they go about minding their business after for the most part." - Ok, that is still the lack of trust coming through. BUT the trust they have get them through it.

"Oh they also played simultaneously again." - Great

" Requires some coordination and contorting on my part but it's doable." - AGREED, It is not easy.

" Charly is now almost 100% focused on his toy rather than Yoda when they are both playing. " - Wow, so positive.

"He's also using his litterbox and scratching pole as usual. And he's eating normally with Yoda around today. Also the lap cuddles at usual time look promising to me." - Perfect!!!

"The 5 hours today so far in total that they've been out together have required little to no distraction or interventon from me (when Charly went to the litterbox I distracted Yoda with his toy a bit as he was too curious)." - WOW, AMAZING!!! They are basically intro'd then!!

"It's been very quiet these three hours actually. They were always running and hissing etc before but it's real quiet tonight. Both seem fine." - Awwwwwwwww

"Let's see what you think about the interaction in the vid." - Addressed above. Let me know if you have any specific questions I did not address.

" Nothing else has really happened apart from an occasional hiss (respected) and some swats but both are getting less. " - Great

"I wanted to leave them out a bit longer, probably until I go to sleep. But they were paw playing after three hours and then I heard some growl hissing." - Ok

" It was Charly and they were swatting intensely. Yoda was kinda coming at him from above a bit and had his ears back a bit?" - Ok. I would be really surprised if Yoda was aggressive.

" So I grabbed some treats in the kitchen to distract and it worked fine." - Ok that tells us everything . It was play, nothing bad.

" They both came running and had their treats sitting so close their noses were practically touching. No issue." - Yep, not an issue (the pawing even though it seemed intense. Boys.

" Then I dropped a big piece and Charly grabbed it and they started quarelling over that. They got a bit swatty (both) and hissy (Charly). Yoda actually looked more offensive in those two situations... Hm." - Ok. It happens.

"I've separated them for now." - Ok

" Charly is acting normally and Yoda seems fine in there too." - Great. It was nothing really.

" Maybe after a bit of cool off I'll let them out a bit together before sleep." - Yes, I think they can be out if you like. Just hang out and love them.

GREAT JOB!! They are basically intro'd.

Amazing. I am blown away by how fast they got along. GREAT JOB!!!

 

[noani]

Thanks! Yes I agree I think they are doing quite well! I could NOT have got here without you calming my nerves and putting things in perspective and translating their body language for me at all! So we are very grateful

I painted for a bit and then let Yoda back out. They'd both had a nap and had a bit of a break for an hour or two.
They were good, they started playing around yodas tunnel (i had put it away before) and it was real cute and funny but then Yoda got a bit too bold for Charly and that's when I called his name and then just picked him up. Charly was growling and making all kinds of unhappy noises under there at the end and Yoda didn't back up so I picked him up and put him on the couch. Then grabbed some treats and they ate them fine although Charly hissed and swatted a bit (but Yoda stole one of his treats and he is very very agitated about them always lol so I wasn't surprised). Yoda was kinda meh about it. After that they both played on the bed for a bit with their toys (i.e. me moving their toys) with their backs to each other focused on their toys! They also chased a bit but nothing really happened. It was more like playing tag with almost only Yoda being IT for ten minutes lol. So Charly was a tad skittish around him for a bit but also turned his back and played so probably nothing major.

I've put Yoda into his room for the night now and hoping he'll let me sleep through tonight (made quite a ruckus at 6 am today lol. Still got lots to learn my little furball).

I'll post some vids but the tunnel has been put away again. They looked like they were having fun but it was maybe a bit much for Charly at the end so I'll wait a while to bring it back out.

 

[noani]

Then tunnel 3 it won't let me embed again. Where Yoda pounced and Charly got super growly and hissy and uncomfy. He didn't strike but Yoda didn't back off so I picked him up.

tunnel 3

And then after the tunnel the treat situation.

Then chasing and both playing on bed with backs to each other with their toys. And then night night and Charly was a bit energetic for five mins and is now sleeping on my bed and Yoda is quiet too in his room so probably sleeping as well.

Probably nothing major?
But would love to hear what you make of the tunnel play (?).

 

[kakers]

My gosh they are just SO STINKING CUTE playing in the tunnel!

My impression from you describing how Charly is an anxious cat is that he is just quick to voice his nervousness. It sounds for the most part that Yoda doesn't typically push him once he's really saying he needs some space so that is good! I'm sure Yoda is also feeling out and figuring out the difference between "stop it now" versus "oh! That startled me!" And he probably will figure out the difference before we do.

It was a bit hard for me to tell with the third tunnel video how Charly was doing (he was the one inside right?) But it didn't seem bad to me. Yoda may have been playing a bit rougher than he is used to or likes but didn't seem to be anything that would harm their building their relationship.

They really look to be getting along quite well overall!

 

[noani]

My gosh they are just SO STINKING CUTE playing in the tunnel!

My impression from you describing how Charly is an anxious cat is that he is just quick to voice his nervousness. It sounds for the most part that Yoda doesn't typically push him once he's really saying he needs some space so that is good! I'm sure Yoda is also feeling out and figuring out the difference between "stop it now" versus "oh! That startled me!" And he probably will figure out the difference before we do.

It was a bit hard for me to tell with the third tunnel video how Charly was doing (he was the one inside right?) But it didn't seem bad to me. Yoda may have been playing a bit rougher than he is used to or likes but didn't seem to be anything that would harm their building their relationship.

They really look to be getting along quite well overall!

I might be biased again but I too think they were too too too cute with the tunnel

Yep Charly is the one inside. Yoda is usually good about giving him space yes, but sometimes like in the video and on other occasions insists a bit too much. In the third vid he pounced on him with mouth open and Charly was definitely voicing his discomfort LOUD and strong, but he didn't stop. When I picked him up he actually bit into my blanket I was covered in (not hard).

So it's the next day and as soon as I woke up I opened the door. It's been about an hour without hissing or swatting and they're both acting normally I guess. A bit tentative but they are taking turns chasing each other but when the other turns around run away. It's like an endless tag game without tagging

Now Charly came up to me for lap cuddles. He vocalised some nervousness when Yoda came in looking around but I kept reassuring him and Yoda just walked around and then went out again so Charly is semi relaxed but he stayed on my lap with some tail swishing but nothing major.

Let's see how it goes today. I'll report back

 

[noani]

Can't believe it. Still feeling under the weather today so had to get under the covers for a bit. First came Charly (on his pillow at my feet) then Yoda (squished against me on left). Both are snoozing.
(I'm sure they're tired from playing hide and seek in the KFC paper bags I brought home).

I could cry I'm so happy. Yoda is the one closer to the camera and Charly behind. Yoda laid down next to him. Charly gave him some swats then relaxed. Yoda didn't react. Now like this <3

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thanks! Yes I agree I think they are doing quite well! I could NOT have got here without you calming my nerves and putting things in perspective and translating their body language for me at all! So we are very grateful

I painted for a bit and then let Yoda back out. They'd both had a nap and had a bit of a break for an hour or two.
They were good, they started playing around yodas tunnel (i had put it away before) and it was real cute and funny but then Yoda got a bit too bold for Charly and that's when I called his name and then just picked him up. Charly was growling and making all kinds of unhappy noises under there at the end and Yoda didn't back up so I picked him up and put him on the couch. Then grabbed some treats and they ate them fine although Charly hissed and swatted a bit (but Yoda stole one of his treats and he is very very agitated about them always lol so I wasn't surprised). Yoda was kinda meh about it. After that they both played on the bed for a bit with their toys (i.e. me moving their toys) with their backs to each other focused on their toys! They also chased a bit but nothing really happened. It was more like playing tag with almost only Yoda being IT for ten minutes lol. So Charly was a tad skittish around him for a bit but also turned his back and played so probably nothing major.

I've put Yoda into his room for the night now and hoping he'll let me sleep through tonight (made quite a ruckus at 6 am today lol. Still got lots to learn my little furball).

I'll post some vids but the tunnel has been put away again. They looked like they were having fun but it was maybe a bit much for Charly at the end so I'll wait a while to bring it back out.

"Thanks! Yes I agree I think they are doing quite well! I could NOT have got here without you calming my nerves and putting things in perspective and translating their body language for me at all! So we are very grateful " - Awwwwww, but it was ALL YOu and YOU deserve all the credit!!!

"I painted for a bit and then let Yoda back out. They'd both had a nap and had a bit of a break for an hour or two." - Great

"They were good, they started playing around yodas tunnel (i had put it away before) and it was real cute and funny " - Great

"but then Yoda got a bit too bold for Charly and that's when I called his name and then just picked him up. Charly was growling and making all kinds of unhappy noises under there at the end and Yoda didn't back up so I picked him up and put him on the couch. " - Ok. Yoda just wants to play. See if you can draw him away without picking him up if possible (for your safety and to show Charly that Yoda can leave on his own accord).

"Then grabbed some treats and they ate them fine " - GREAT!!!

"although Charly hissed and swatted a bit (but Yoda stole one of his treats and he is very very agitated about them always lol so I wasn't surprised)." - Not an issue, understandable. Food is important to treats.

" Yoda was kinda meh about it." - Great

" After that they both played on the bed for a bit with their toys (i.e. me moving their toys) with their backs to each other focused on their toys! " - Perfect

"They also chased a bit but nothing really happened. It was more like playing tag with almost only Yoda being IT for ten minutes lol. So Charly was a tad skittish around him for a bit but also turned his back and played so probably nothing major." - GREAT!!!

"I've put Yoda into his room for the night now and hoping he'll let me sleep through tonight (made quite a ruckus at 6 am today lol. Still got lots to learn my little furball)." - Great. Well, usually they stir earlier than that so you are lucky!!

"I'll post some vids but the tunnel has been put away again. They looked like they were having fun but it was maybe a bit much for Charly at the end so I'll wait a while to bring it back out. " - ok

Tunnel 1 - ADORABLE!!! PERFECT!!! Yep, they are just fine. AMAZING they are this far along. AMAZING!!! That video shows TRUST!!! That is all play and they are having fun together!!

Tunnel 2 - PERFECT!!! Again, all play. Trust. PERFECT!!! This tells me so much about their relationship!! It is full of trust. Terrific.

Tunnel 3 - Understandable. Something is moving and they play with it. How they act after is key. But I suspect all is fine.

"Then tunnel 3 it won't let me embed again. Where Yoda pounced and Charly got super growly and hissy and uncomfy. He didn't strike but Yoda didn't back off so I picked him up." - Ok, yeah, that was all play in Tunnel 3 video. If they rebounded nicely after it is fine.

After tunnel video - Terrific. They are fine. Charly a touch tense but nothing to worry about. Terrific!!

"Then chasing and both playing on bed with backs to each other with their toys. And then night night and Charly was a bit energetic for five mins and is now sleeping on my bed and Yoda is quiet too in his room so probably sleeping as well." - PERFECT!! That tells us it was all play and all well.

"Probably nothing major?" - NOT AT ALL!!! In fact, I am more confident and comfortable then I was (which was really high).

"But would love to hear what you make of the tunnel play (?). " - Hopefully I addressed it above. Perfect.

"I might be biased again but I too think they were too too too cute with the tunnel " - ADORABLE!!! HAPPY CATS!!!

"Yep Charly is the one inside. Yoda is usually good about giving him space yes, but sometimes like in the video and on other occasions insists a bit too much." - That is just play. Excitement having a new friend to play with. Charly is not leaving, hiding and not fighting so he is enjoying it as well.

"In the third vid he pounced on him with mouth open and Charly was definitely voicing his discomfort LOUD and strong, but he didn't stop. " - Yeah but that was all play. Just a bit too much. They will work it out.

"When I picked him up he actually bit into my blanket I was covered in (not hard)." - ok, because he was amped up in play mode. Just be careful.

"So it's the next day and as soon as I woke up I opened the door. It's been about an hour without hissing or swatting and they're both acting normally I guess. A bit tentative but they are taking turns chasing each other but when the other turns around run away. It's like an endless tag game without tagging " - Great, that tells me they are just fine and all the tunnel stuff was play. They trust a lot.

"Now Charly came up to me for lap cuddles. He vocalised some nervousness when Yoda came in looking around but I kept reassuring him and Yoda just walked around and then went out again so Charly is semi relaxed but he stayed on my lap with some tail swishing but nothing major." - Great

"Let's see how it goes today. I'll report back " - Ok, I suspect all will be well.

Picture is PERFECT!!!

"Can't believe it. Still feeling under the weather today so had to get under the covers for a bit. First came Charly (on his pillow at my feet) then Yoda (squished against me on left). Both are snoozing." - Perfect (the cats). Hope you feel better soon!!!

"(I'm sure they're tired from playing hide and seek in the KFC paper bags I brought home)." - Awwwwwwww

"I could cry I'm so happy." - Awwwwwwwww. It is so terrific!!! I am SO PROUD of YOU, YODA AND CHARLY!!!!

Get well and keep up the great work!!!

 

[noani]

Yoda just turned around but they were basically touching. Also Charly woke up and stirred and just changed position. Omg they are so adorable I can't get over it

Also look at Charlys face when Yoda was cleaning himself

My heart I can't believe these two. I'm so happy right now I'm officially crying lol.

 

[noani]

When Yoda went to lie closer to him, Charly sat up and gave him a good few whacks on the head - he didn't react and Charly laid back down and slept then. Yoda too. Is that normal and why did he whack him hard?

Now they've been uhm I guess playing after dinner?

Need some help interpreting if it's all play or something concerning in there.
Charly has growled a few times today and some hisses but much less overall.

 

[noani]

Forgot the video. So they pretty much do these kinds of things the whole time. Some chasing like playing tag, some playing paws and peekaboo around the table and some hiding in KFC bags. They get into some intense swatting and towards the end Yoda looked a bit... Idk. The way he moved sideways making himself taller ears back a bit. But nothing happened and he came immediately when I touched his feather toy (he heard it jingling). Charly also came immediately when I opened his treat cupboard. So I'm guessing it wasn't so bad if they were so easily distracted.

Idk I'm just kind of letting it go on a bit but I'm not sure how much rough is normal and how much might be too much too fast maybe?
I'm worried about trust being broken if something happens..

They act normally the whole time and take turns chasing so I'm thinking they are both enjoying it? For the most part.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Forgot the video. So they pretty much do these kinds of things the whole time. Some chasing like playing tag, some playing paws and peekaboo around the table and some hiding in KFC bags. They get into some intense swatting and towards the end Yoda looked a bit... Idk. The way he moved sideways making himself taller ears back a bit. But nothing happened and he came immediately when I touched his feather toy (he heard it jingling). Charly also came immediately when I opened his treat cupboard. So I'm guessing it wasn't so bad if they were so easily distracted.

Idk I'm just kind of letting it go on a bit but I'm not sure how much rough is normal and how much might be too much too fast maybe?
I'm worried about trust being broken if something happens..

They act normally the whole time and take turns chasing so I'm thinking they are both enjoying it? For the most part.

AWESOME PICTURES!! PERFECT!!!

"When Yoda went to lie closer to him, Charly sat up and gave him a good few whacks on the head - he didn't react and Charly laid back down and slept then. Yoda too. Is that normal and why did he whack him hard?" - It is fine. Charly was just teaching him manners, telling him not to try anything. The fact Charly was fine after and went to sleep tells us everything. He trusts him (mostly). And Yoda knows "it is just Charly". Not an issue at all.

"Now they've been uhm I guess playing after dinner?" - Great

"Need some help interpreting if it's all play or something concerning in there." - Ok

"Charly has growled a few times today and some hisses but much less overall. " - Ok

Video - All play. Got a bit intense at times so when they paw a bit much distract them. The fact you did at one point and they stopped and looked away is really positive. But it is all play. It seems like it is Charly's way of playing (pawing). At one point it was like "he Yoda don't stop and walk away". Body language was for the most part great. I would step in a bit when the pawing gets a bit intense. But overall, that video was all play.

"Forgot the video." - Why?

" So they pretty much do these kinds of things the whole time. Some chasing like playing tag, some playing paws and peekaboo around the table and some hiding in KFC bags." - Yep, all play. Remember in the video Charly goes in behind a curtain? And everything is fine. A big sign they are all play.

" They get into some intense swatting and towards the end Yoda looked a bit... Idk. The way he moved sideways making himself taller ears back a bit." - Yeah, jsut letting Charly know "hey that is too much". But Charly was a bit rough but it was not worrisome in a sense it had bad intent.

" But nothing happened and he came immediately when I touched his feather toy (he heard it jingling). Charly also came immediately when I opened his treat cupboard. So I'm guessing it wasn't so bad if they were so easily distracted." - EXACTLY!!!

"Idk I'm just kind of letting it go on a bit but I'm not sure how much rough is normal and how much might be too much too fast maybe?" - I would probably step in a bit when it gets a bit intense. SO there were maybe 1 or 2 times I would have called there names, reassured them. But overall, they worked it out. It is just rough play and I do think they understand it (given how they act after).

"I'm worried about trust being broken if something happens.." - Yes, understand. I think something big would have to happen and I just don't see it in either. But there is a small risk (less than 5% I would guess)

"They act normally the whole time and take turns chasing so I'm thinking they are both enjoying it? For the most part. " - Exactly. They enjoy it. And how they act after supports that.

But I would call their names to just get them distracted if it gets too intense. So when you did at about 3:50 that was good, maybe a bit more distraction.

But overall, they are fine now. As you said, just want to keep it positive and fun.

I am not at all worried. And they were REALLY ADORABLE in that video as well!!!

 

[noani]

It was actually Yoda who went behind the curtain lol. They look way too similar don't they

Yeah I thought so too about distracting. They got a bit intense after the video again (maybe a bit more even than in the vid) and this time Charly full on hissed growled and moved backwards and looked like "hey bro that's defo too much right now". He was kinda over playing I think. So I distracted Yoda who still wanted to keep going with his feather and got some residual energy out playing with him (he still had lots and Charly was kinda ready to nap I think). While Yoda was playing Charly went to eat a bit more of his leftover dinner. Yoda then laid down on the bed and Charly went up on the big white furniture thing in the living room (he sleeps there often cause the warm air from my air conditioner comes down there).

When they woke up they touched noses and Charly gave him a quick swat but nothing happened. I then led Yoda back into his room with a little bit of kibble and closed the door for the night. Charly went back to sleeping and Yoda is quiet too. Actually Charly is sleeping on the same spot on the bed where Yoda was lying and that particular area is NOT one of his usual spots

All in all, I went out for a walk around the Christmas markets for about 2,3 hours maybe? The rest of the day they were out freely and I didn't have to intervene very much. They mostly work it out but like in the video sometimes when they get too rough I'll intervene and try to distract and diffuse a bit. I kinda let it go a bit longer than I would usually in the video so you could see how they go if I don't.

They are always normal after and they are always easily distracted by feather (Yoda) and treat (Charly) and they will sit next or near each other right after, turning their backs to each other to groom etc. Might be still the excitement of a new playmate (Yoda after three months of isolation and Charly basically since I brought him in when momma rejected him) and not knowing each others limits too well.

Sometimes I'll just call "boys" with a long y sound and they'll both look at me like "but hey we aren't doing anything" lol. Kinda fake innocent look. It's kind of adorable.
Didn't work this time but Yoda looked around at me to his name. But they didn't stop and I also want to keep it smooth and not have them get into a real full on fight or something.
So I picked up the feather toy and yoda came running as you can see at the end.

It's actually three months to the day that I brought Yoda home from the clinic after "trapping" him when I found him injured (trapping as in picking him up and shoving him in a carrier as he would not be caught in a trap and it was risk getting bitten and him traumatised by being caught that way or basically he wasn't gonna make it for sure).

Its a shame I'm leaving in 4 days as they'll be isolated much more again for 8 days but I think at this point I do feel comfortable with my partner letting them out together for short times when he comes to take care of them. They can work a good amount out on their own and he can have their distractors available. And he's more cautious than me as he's observed much less of their interacting (hardly any really in person at least). So he'll distract and diffuse earlier than I do so not worrying too much about that. Although we'll have to see how going back into prolonged isolation and me being away will be for them.

I'm excited about their progress and really scared still to mess sth up now that it's going well. I don't want to get overoptimistic.

If I don't distract them, would you think these situations will progress into fights? And if I'm always stepping in to distract when they get like this, will it hinder their learning to read each other and respect mutual limits naturally?

Thank you for keeping up with and answering all my incessant questions. They are progressing so fast and I wouldn't know how to handle it so well without the guidance! I really really appreciate it so much!

 

[calicosrspecial]

It was actually Yoda who went behind the curtain lol. They look way too similar don't they

Yeah I thought so too about distracting. They got a bit intense after the video again (maybe a bit more even than in the vid) and this time Charly full on hissed growled and moved backwards and looked like "hey bro that's defo too much right now". He was kinda over playing I think. So I distracted Yoda who still wanted to keep going with his feather and got some residual energy out playing with him (he still had lots and Charly was kinda ready to nap I think). While Yoda was playing Charly went to eat a bit more of his leftover dinner. Yoda then laid down on the bed and Charly went up on the big white furniture thing in the living room (he sleeps there often cause the warm air from my air conditioner comes down there).

When they woke up they touched noses and Charly gave him a quick swat but nothing happened. I then led Yoda back into his room with a little bit of kibble and closed the door for the night. Charly went back to sleeping and Yoda is quiet too. Actually Charly is sleeping on the same spot on the bed where Yoda was lying and that particular area is NOT one of his usual spots

All in all, I went out for a walk around the Christmas markets for about 2,3 hours maybe? The rest of the day they were out freely and I didn't have to intervene very much. They mostly work it out but like in the video sometimes when they get too rough I'll intervene and try to distract and diffuse a bit. I kinda let it go a bit longer than I would usually in the video so you could see how they go if I don't.

They are always normal after and they are always easily distracted by feather (Yoda) and treat (Charly) and they will sit next or near each other right after, turning their backs to each other to groom etc. Might be still the excitement of a new playmate (Yoda after three months of isolation and Charly basically since I brought him in when momma rejected him) and not knowing each others limits too well.

Sometimes I'll just call "boys" with a long y sound and they'll both look at me like "but hey we aren't doing anything" lol. Kinda fake innocent look. It's kind of adorable.
Didn't work this time but Yoda looked around at me to his name. But they didn't stop and I also want to keep it smooth and not have them get into a real full on fight or something.
So I picked up the feather toy and yoda came running as you can see at the end.

It's actually three months to the day that I brought Yoda home from the clinic after "trapping" him when I found him injured (trapping as in picking him up and shoving him in a carrier as he would not be caught in a trap and it was risk getting bitten and him traumatised by being caught that way or basically he wasn't gonna make it for sure).

Its a shame I'm leaving in 4 days as they'll be isolated much more again for 8 days but I think at this point I do feel comfortable with my partner letting them out together for short times when he comes to take care of them. They can work a good amount out on their own and he can have their distractors available. And he's more cautious than me as he's observed much less of their interacting (hardly any really in person at least). So he'll distract and diffuse earlier than I do so not worrying too much about that. Although we'll have to see how going back into prolonged isolation and me being away will be for them.

I'm excited about their progress and really scared still to mess sth up now that it's going well. I don't want to get overoptimistic.

If I don't distract them, would you think these situations will progress into fights? And if I'm always stepping in to distract when they get like this, will it hinder their learning to read each other and respect mutual limits naturally?

Thank you for keeping up with and answering all my incessant questions. They are progressing so fast and I wouldn't know how to handle it so well without the guidance! I really really appreciate it so much!

"It was actually Yoda who went behind the curtain lol. They look way too similar don't they " - Interesting!!!

I am going to watch the video again.

Video - So at the beginning with the table, it is hide and seek, a little pawing, but look at Charly's body language and how he looks at you. Then Charly runs, Yoda follows. All play. Wait, I am mixed up? Is Yoda under the table at the beginning and Charly outside? I think it was. WOW!!! Then the chase, Charly is pawing, Yoda kinda does a play pounce, pawing, Yoda goes behind the curtain. I guess by the bag I would call their name to distract them. It is play, rough play, and it is resolved though as Yoda goes behind the curtain and Charly is waiting (fine). Then they do some hide and seek. SO cute. You laughed as well. And Charly goes in the bag?!?!?!? That is all play. I am thinking this pawing is really all about his way of playing. Because if it was aggressive, etc WHY WOULD HE GO IN THE BAG?!?!?!?!?! And Yoda is fine. Yoda is smart, if Charly was a perceived threat he would not be looking in the bag at Charly. And Charly then goes looking for Yoda. All play. It is really interesting Yoda is going in the table while Charly sits outside. I don't think I have seen that before. Charly is pawing under it and then looks away. Positive. All play. Or was Charly under the table? I seriously can't tell them apart in this video. I can only tell them apart by the actions. Now I se I was right the first time as Charly is pawing. But Yoda is pawing back. Then you laugh and it distracts them and they go back to playing under the table. Yoda starts walking away and Charly paws at him to stay. hilarious!! And Yoda stays!!! Then you do a really good job saying "Boys". Then they paw a lot again and you do a great job calling Yoda to end it. I think that was perfect.

"Yeah I thought so too about distracting." - Ok good

" They got a bit intense after the video again (maybe a bit more even than in the vid) and this time Charly full on hissed growled and moved backwards and looked like "hey bro that's defo too much right now". " - Ok, yes, then step in and distract.

"He was kinda over playing I think." - Yes, makes sense.

" So I distracted Yoda who still wanted to keep going with his feather and got some residual energy out playing with him (he still had lots and Charly was kinda ready to nap I think). - Ok, great job

" While Yoda was playing Charly went to eat a bit more of his leftover dinner. Yoda then laid down on the bed and Charly went up on the big white furniture thing in the living room (he sleeps there often cause the warm air from my air conditioner comes down there)." - GREAT!!!

"When they woke up they touched noses and Charly gave him a quick swat but nothing happened." - Ok, good. Yeah, that was CHarly telling Yoda who is boss.

" I then led Yoda back into his room with a little bit of kibble and closed the door for the night. Charly went back to sleeping and Yoda is quiet too. Actually Charly is sleeping on the same spot on the bed where Yoda was lying and that particular area is NOT one of his usual spots " - GREAT!!!

"All in all, I went out for a walk around the Christmas markets for about 2,3 hours maybe? The rest of the day they were out freely and I didn't have to intervene very much. " - Perfect

"They mostly work it out but like in the video sometimes when they get too rough I'll intervene and try to distract and diffuse a bit. I kinda let it go a bit longer than I would usually in the video so you could see how they go if I don't." - Perfect.

"They are always normal after and they are always easily distracted by feather (Yoda) and treat (Charly) and they will sit next or near each other right after, turning their backs to each other to groom etc. " - Yes, that is another reason why I am not worried (probably the most important reason because they are telling us they are ok with it).

"Might be still the excitement of a new playmate (Yoda after three months of isolation and Charly basically since I brought him in when momma rejected him) and not knowing each others limits too well." - Yes. Some cats just play this way. BUT Charly's socialization was limited as well which is part of it as well.

"Sometimes I'll just call "boys" with a long y sound and they'll both look at me like "but hey we aren't doing anything" lol. Kinda fake innocent look. It's kind of adorable." - Exactly. It is ADORABLE!!! And the fact they do stop and look is really important. It is a sign it is not an issue (it is play).

"Didn't work this time but Yoda looked around at me to his name. But they didn't stop and I also want to keep it smooth and not have them get into a real full on fight or something." - Yes, it was fine. I am not really worried about them getting into a real, meaningful fight. But good to just keep an eye on them.

"So I picked up the feather toy and yoda came running as you can see at the end." - Exactly terrific.

"It's actually three months to the day that I brought Yoda home from the clinic after "trapping" him when I found him injured (trapping as in picking him up and shoving him in a carrier as he would not be caught in a trap and it was risk getting bitten and him traumatised by being caught that way or basically he wasn't gonna make it for sure)." - Awwwwwwww

"Its a shame I'm leaving in 4 days as they'll be isolated much more again for 8 days" - Yes but they will be fine.

" but I think at this point I do feel comfortable with my partner letting them out together for short times when he comes to take care of them." - You do? Hmmmmm, let's talk about this. Remember, you are their world. It can go both ways. It will be stressful for them to some degree. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

"They can work a good amount out on their own and he can have their distractors available." - Yes, but he is not you.

" And he's more cautious than me as he's observed much less of their interacting (hardly any really in person at least)." - Ok, but if he is nervous etc the cats could feed on it.

" So he'll distract and diffuse earlier than I do so not worrying too much about that." - Hmmmmmmm

" Although we'll have to see how going back into prolonged isolation and me being away will be for them." - I am not at all worried if they don't see each other while you are gone. They will be fine. When you get back.

"I'm excited about their progress" - Agreed

" and really scared still to mess sth up now that it's going well. " - I don't think that is a real risk at this point.

"I don't want to get overoptimistic." - Understandable.

"If I don't distract them, would you think these situations will progress into fights?" - 95% confident tehy would not (probably 98% confident they would not).

" And if I'm always stepping in to distract when they get like this, will it hinder their learning to read each other and respect mutual limits naturally?" - That is the art of it all. Doing enough but not too much. You are doing great so far so keep it up.

"Thank you for keeping up with and answering all my incessant questions. They are progressing so fast and I wouldn't know how to handle it so well without the guidance! I really really appreciate it so much! " - Awwwww, you are welcome. It is great. I hope others can view this and it helps them as well. The more information the better.

You and they are doing great!! Keep it up. And let's think about how to handle your time away. I just don't know so don't have as much confidence in your partner. :/ I know if they are totally isolated they will be fine when you come home (or shortly thereafter). BUT even trying that they may slip by so.................................... Let's discuss it more.

Keep up the great work. They are doing great and are totally fine.