Need guidance on cat introductions

[calicosrspecial]

I'm glad. I felt like wanting to give some positive news with all that is going on in the world these days.

It is amazing to watch their relationship change and evolve over time. I will admit, I would never have expected it to go so well. Sure they fight (or well, maybe I should say get into disagreements and squabbles, it's not really fighting I guess) but I was hoping for toleration. They are definitely still getting to know each other and getting more used to each other (well, Charly. Yoda is a chill cat who is basically fine with whatever lol).

I'd always thought getting a second cat may be negative for Charly since he grew up alone. I couldn't have imagined him accepting another cat.

Last night was the first time Charly not only allowed Yoda to get so close but actually snuggled into him a bit. He's still his grumpy grandpa self most of the time and while he does play with Yoda often too, he sometimes just looks at him or swats him like "the youth these days.. get away from me you punk". I do think though that it has been a very positive change overall.

His anxiety (recurrent periods of overgrooming, licking his leg bald, vomiting and retching) have disappeared completely. He's overall more chill and eats better. Now I'm feeling guilty i didn't get him a playmate or someone to keep him company when I'm at work sooner... Although I suppose Yoda was sent to us for a reason, I don't think we would have had the same outcome with a different personality cat. He was the perfect fit for Charly

"I'm glad. I felt like wanting to give some positive news with all that is going on in the world these days." - AGREED!!! BUT you can give any news anytime. BUT it IS wonderful to get such a LOVELY update!!!

"It is amazing to watch their relationship change and evolve over time." - It really is. It is so amazing and informative.

" I will admit, I would never have expected it to go so well." - Awwwwwwww, I will admit as well. I knew we would succeed and get them intro'd BUT this exceeded my wildest dreams.It is pretty amazing BUT you are the reason why it went so well so fast.

" Sure they fight (or well, maybe I should say get into disagreements and squabbles, it's not really fighting I guess)" - Not fighting. Disagreements probably but not fighting.

" but I was hoping for toleration." - Yes, luckily we got a lot more!!!

" They are definitely still getting to know each other and getting more used to each other (well, Charly. Yoda is a chill cat who is basically fine with whatever lol)." - Absolutely. That is fun for them as well.

"I'd always thought getting a second cat may be negative for Charly since he grew up alone." - Yes.

" I couldn't have imagined him accepting another cat." - It is amazing. But Yoda is the perfect cat AND you did an AMAZING job!!!

"Last night was the first time Charly not only allowed Yoda to get so close but actually snuggled into him a bit." - Amazing. I am still amazed!!! That is such a positive sign. I honestly am speechless BUT I LOVE it!!

" He's still his grumpy grandpa self most of the time" - OF COURSE!!!!

" and while he does play with Yoda often too, he sometimes just looks at him or swats him like "the youth these days.. get away from me you punk". " - Hahahaha, yep, they will do that. Not an issue at all.

"I do think though that it has been a very positive change overall." - TOTALLY AGREE!!!

"His anxiety (recurrent periods of overgrooming, licking his leg bald, vomiting and retching) have disappeared completely." - WOW!!! AMAZING!!!!

" He's overall more chill and eats better." - GREAT!!!!

" Now I'm feeling guilty i didn't get him a playmate or someone to keep him company when I'm at work sooner... " - Oh no, PLEASE do not feel that. Hindsight is 20/20. AND Yoda is the perfect brother. It was fate.

"Although I suppose Yoda was sent to us for a reason," - Ahhhhh, you thought the same thing. TOTALLY AGREE!!

" I don't think we would have had the same outcome with a different personality cat." - Well, it would have been a bigger challenge.

" He was the perfect fit for Charly " - TOTALLY AGREE!!!!

These are the things that make life WONDERFUL!!! They really make the heart and soul better!! I absolutely LOVE it!!!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for being you and doing all you are doing!!!!

 

[noani]

How stinkin cute are they! Yoda has found a new favourite bed (an old hat that he knocked off the shelf above).
Place is a mess, been very under the weather but they don't seem to mind the extra snuggle spaces it creates on the couch.

Thank you for the kind words but I wouldn't have been able to do it this well without your advice and interpretations of their interactions. The guidance you provided was absolutely priceless!

I didn't really have a life for a few months there because all my free time and energy went into this process initially and I was living in chaos with inverted rooms and all that. Plus spending tons of time each day before work, during lunch break, evenings on introductions daily.. it was insane for a while but I don't regret it one bit! I'm glad I managed to make the time to give them both lots of attention and have many encounters throughout the days so they could acclimate slowly but steadily. Im lucky too, not having family commitments, that I was able to devote so much time to it and help them move along fast. Although they did a lot of the work by being them.

My boyfriend calls them crik and crok. As far as I understand the cultural (Italian) reference it means two that are always together. They go off on their own at times in different parts of the apartment but they are very often walking next to each other, sitting next to each other, looking at the same thing, and the fact that they look alike so much makes it seem like seeing double sometimes
Although I can tell them apart with a short glance now. Or even how they move, how they feel, how they behave. My boyfriend still gets them mixed up a lot when he comes over.. he always asks them "wait which one are you"

 

[calicosrspecial]

View attachment 413061 How stinkin cute are they! Yoda has found a new favourite bed (an old hat that he knocked off the shelf above). Place is a mess, been very under the weather but they don't seem to mind the extra snuggle spaces it creates on the couch. Thank you for the kind words but I wouldn't have been able to do it this well without your advice and interpretations of their interactions. The guidance you provided was absolutely priceless! I didn't really have a life for a few months there because all my free time and energy went into this process initially and I was living in chaos with inverted rooms and all that. Plus spending tons of time each day before work, during lunch break, evenings on introductions daily.. it was insane for a while but I don't regret it one bit! I'm glad I managed to make the time to give them both lots of attention and have many encounters throughout the days so they could acclimate slowly but steadily. Im lucky too, not having family commitments, that I was able to devote so much time to it and help them move along fast. Although they did a lot of the work by being them. My boyfriend calls them crik and crok. As far as I understand the cultural (Italian) reference it means two that are always together. They go off on their own at times in different parts of the apartment but they are very often walking next to each other, sitting next to each other, looking at the same thing, and the fact that they look alike so much makes it seem like seeing double sometimes Although I can tell them apart with a short glance now. Or even how they move, how they feel, how they behave. My boyfriend still gets them mixed up a lot when he comes over.. he always asks them "wait which one are you"

They are SO ADORABLE!!!!!

"How stinkin cute are they! " - Right?!?!?!?!?!?!

"Yoda has found a new favourite bed (an old hat that he knocked off the shelf above)." - Awwwwwwww

"Place is a mess, been very under the weather but they don't seem to mind the extra snuggle spaces it creates on the couch." - Oh my, I hope you feel better soon!!!

"Thank you for the kind words but I wouldn't have been able to do it this well without your advice and interpretations of their interactions. The guidance you provided was absolutely priceless!" - Awwww, thank you. But you did it!!!

"I didn't really have a life for a few months there because all my free time and energy went into this process initially and I was living in chaos with inverted rooms and all that." - Yes, you sacrificed a lot.

" Plus spending tons of time each day before work, during lunch break, evenings on introductions daily.. it was insane for a while" - Yes.

" but I don't regret it one bit! " - YES!!! It is worth it!!!

"I'm glad I managed to make the time to give them both lots of attention and have many encounters throughout the days so they could acclimate slowly but steadily. " - Agreed

"Im lucky too, not having family commitments, that I was able to devote so much time to it and help them move along fast. Although they did a lot of the work by being them." - So true

"My boyfriend calls them crik and crok. As far as I understand the cultural (Italian) reference it means two that are always together." - Awwwwwwwwww That is so cute and so great!!!

" They go off on their own at times in different parts of the apartment but they are very often walking next to each other, sitting next to each other, looking at the same thing" - Awwwwwww, they are bonded!!!

", and the fact that they look alike so much makes it seem like seeing double sometimes " - I know!!! I honestly can't tell them apart anymore. I could tell by their actions but even that is blurred now.

"Although I can tell them apart with a short glance now." - Wow, GREAT!!!

" Or even how they move, how they feel, how they behave." - Exactly BUT they are acting more similar now (though I am sure there is some nuance still).

" My boyfriend still gets them mixed up a lot when he comes over.. he always asks them "wait which one are you" " - Hahahaha, EXACTLY!!!!

SO WONDERFUL!!!!

 

[noani]

They are SO ADORABLE!!!!!

"How stinkin cute are they! " - Right?!?!?!?!?!?!

"Yoda has found a new favourite bed (an old hat that he knocked off the shelf above)." - Awwwwwwww

"Place is a mess, been very under the weather but they don't seem to mind the extra snuggle spaces it creates on the couch." - Oh my, I hope you feel better soon!!!

"Thank you for the kind words but I wouldn't have been able to do it this well without your advice and interpretations of their interactions. The guidance you provided was absolutely priceless!" - Awwww, thank you. But you did it!!!

"I didn't really have a life for a few months there because all my free time and energy went into this process initially and I was living in chaos with inverted rooms and all that." - Yes, you sacrificed a lot.

" Plus spending tons of time each day before work, during lunch break, evenings on introductions daily.. it was insane for a while" - Yes.

" but I don't regret it one bit! " - YES!!! It is worth it!!!

"I'm glad I managed to make the time to give them both lots of attention and have many encounters throughout the days so they could acclimate slowly but steadily. " - Agreed

"Im lucky too, not having family commitments, that I was able to devote so much time to it and help them move along fast. Although they did a lot of the work by being them." - So true

"My boyfriend calls them crik and crok. As far as I understand the cultural (Italian) reference it means two that are always together." - Awwwwwwwwww That is so cute and so great!!!

" They go off on their own at times in different parts of the apartment but they are very often walking next to each other, sitting next to each other, looking at the same thing" - Awwwwwww, they are bonded!!!

", and the fact that they look alike so much makes it seem like seeing double sometimes " - I know!!! I honestly can't tell them apart anymore. I could tell by their actions but even that is blurred now.

"Although I can tell them apart with a short glance now." - Wow, GREAT!!!

" Or even how they move, how they feel, how they behave." - Exactly BUT they are acting more similar now (though I am sure there is some nuance still).

" My boyfriend still gets them mixed up a lot when he comes over.. he always asks them "wait which one are you" " - Hahahaha, EXACTLY!!!!

SO WONDERFUL!!!!

Yeah they are very similar but being around them every day, their faces look different, their coats look different, their coat FEELS a tiny bit different, their posture and way of moving their head, moving in general, little things they do is different. Mostly it's little things about how they move that give them away even out of the corner of my eye. Or if I get a look at their face from the front. I can usually tell who is where by looking, listening or feeling one of them if it's dark lol.

Anyways I'll be back with more cute photos and hopefully continuing positive check ins from time to time if you'd like

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yeah they are very similar but being around them every day, their faces look different, their coats look different, their coat FEELS a tiny bit different, their posture and way of moving their head, moving in general, little things they do is different. Mostly it's little things about how they move that give them away even out of the corner of my eye. Or if I get a look at their face from the front. I can usually tell who is where by looking, listening or feeling one of them if it's dark lol.

Anyways I'll be back with more cute photos and hopefully continuing positive check ins from time to time if you'd like

"Yeah they are very similar" - SO SIMILAR!!!

" but being around them every day, their faces look different, their coats look different, their coat FEELS a tiny bit different, their posture and way of moving their head, moving in general, little things they do is different. Mostly it's little things about how they move that give them away even out of the corner of my eye." - Exactly. I know exactly what you mean. We get to know them so well we know their nuance. It is so cool!!! I wish I knew them that well, i just ABSOLUTELY LOVE them!!!

" Or if I get a look at their face from the front." - Awwwww, so they do have some unique markings.

" I can usually tell who is where by looking, listening or feeling one of them if it's dark lol." - YES!!!!

"Anyways I'll be back with more cute photos and hopefully continuing positive check ins from time to time if you'd like " - YES PLEASE!!!!! I get very attached to the cats on here. I get to "know" them quite well in time and get so attached. I can feel the love they have for the family. It is wonderful. I absolutely LOVE getting the chance to interact with the family and the cats.

I just LOVE Charly and Yoda!!!

 

[noani]

"Yeah they are very similar" - SO SIMILAR!!!

" but being around them every day, their faces look different, their coats look different, their coat FEELS a tiny bit different, their posture and way of moving their head, moving in general, little things they do is different. Mostly it's little things about how they move that give them away even out of the corner of my eye." - Exactly. I know exactly what you mean. We get to know them so well we know their nuance. It is so cool!!! I wish I knew them that well, i just ABSOLUTELY LOVE them!!!

" Or if I get a look at their face from the front." - Awwwww, so they do have some unique markings.

" I can usually tell who is where by looking, listening or feeling one of them if it's dark lol." - YES!!!!

"Anyways I'll be back with more cute photos and hopefully continuing positive check ins from time to time if you'd like " - YES PLEASE!!!!! I get very attached to the cats on here. I get to "know" them quite well in time and get so attached. I can feel the love they have for the family. It is wonderful. I absolutely LOVE getting the chance to interact with the family and the cats.

I just LOVE Charly and Yoda!!!

Yes their faces look quite different to me. Not just marking but also the shape, and facial expression.
My boyfriend also often can't tell them apart easily and is amazed by my ability to tell who it is even if they're jumping up on the couch behind me. They look similar but they have very different characters, energies and feel to them.
They've been napping together most of the weekend, interspersed with running after each other and it is getting very rough. Also Charly gets quite aggressive when he hunts him and Yoda hides somewhere and growls and hisses and swats. They are generally distractable with treats or putting something between them and he'll cool off a bit.

Last night they cuddled up on my boyfriend when he was over. Yoda is closer to the camera.

Today I was lying down with Yoda next to me and Charly, for the first time ever, got up from me (he was on my chest snuggling) and laid down right up against Yoda beside my leg instead! I was thrilled although it did devolve into a bit of swatting because Yoda wanted to groom him and he wasn't having it. They both jumped up but then laid back down like that and when Charly was asleep Yoda started grooming him again and he allowed it. Don't know how long for though, because then I fell asleep watching them being so peaceful

This was after their nap during which Yoda groomed Charly. Yoda then jumped up on his hat (it's just staying on the couch now, his favourite new bed) Perfect timing for a picture..

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yes their faces look quite different to me. Not just marking but also the shape, and facial expression.
My boyfriend also often can't tell them apart easily and is amazed by my ability to tell who it is even if they're jumping up on the couch behind me. They look similar but they have very different characters, energies and feel to them.
They've been napping together most of the weekend, interspersed with running after each other and it is getting very rough. Also Charly gets quite aggressive when he hunts him and Yoda hides somewhere and growls and hisses and swats. They are generally distractable with treats or putting something between them and he'll cool off a bit.

Last night they cuddled up on my boyfriend when he was over. Yoda is closer to the camera.
View attachment 413571

Today I was lying down with Yoda next to me and Charly, for the first time ever, got up from me (he was on my chest snuggling) and laid down right up against Yoda beside my leg instead! I was thrilled although it did devolve into a bit of swatting because Yoda wanted to groom him and he wasn't having it. They both jumped up but then laid back down like that and when Charly was asleep Yoda started grooming him again and he allowed it. Don't know how long for though, because then I fell asleep watching them being so peaceful

This was after their nap during which Yoda groomed Charly. Yoda then jumped up on his hat (it's just staying on the couch now, his favourite new bed) Perfect timing for a picture.. View attachment 413572View attachment 413573

Look at those pictures!!!!!!!!

"Yes their faces look quite different to me. Not just marking but also the shape, and facial expression." - YES!!!

"My boyfriend also often can't tell them apart easily" - Awww, he needs to spend more time with them then!!!!!

"and is amazed by my ability to tell who it is even if they're jumping up on the couch behind me. They look similar but they have very different characters, energies and feel to them." - Exactly!!! I know exactly what you mean.

"They've been napping together most of the weekend, interspersed with running after each other and it is getting very rough." - Awwwwwwwwww

" Also Charly gets quite aggressive when he hunts him and Yoda hides somewhere and growls and hisses and swats." - Ok, I think that is the lack of socialization early in his life. :/ As long as it doesn't escalate. Hopefully Charly will get better in time like he has with you.

" They are generally distractable with treats or putting something between them and he'll cool off a bit." - GREAT!!!

"Last night they cuddled up on my boyfriend when he was over. Yoda is closer to the camera. " - Awwwwww, THAT is AMAZING!!!! Doing that with your boyfriend is a huge step forward and so positive!!! That picture is AMAZING!!!! GORGEOUS!!!

"Today I was lying down with Yoda next to me and Charly, for the first time ever, got up from me (he was on my chest snuggling) and laid down right up against Yoda beside my leg instead!" - WOW!!!!! Yep, they are just fine.

" I was thrilled although it did devolve into a bit of swatting because Yoda wanted to groom him and he wasn't having it. " - Hahahaha, yep

"They both jumped up but then laid back down like that" - GREAT!!! THAT tells us everything!!! They are brothers!!!

"and when Charly was asleep Yoda started grooming him again and he allowed it." - WOW!!!! I am shocked!!! FANTASTIC!!!

" Don't know how long for though, because then I fell asleep watching them being so peaceful " - Awwwwwwwwwwww

"This was after their nap during which Yoda groomed Charly. Yoda then jumped up on his hat (it's just staying on the couch now, his favourite new bed) Perfect timing for a picture.. " - PERFECT picture!!!! Yes, leave the hat.

Those pictures tell me they are just fine.

 

[noani]

A little Charly & Yoda Update.

They are rambunctious, full of energy, mischievous little boys. That's the conclusion I've come to

Over the weekend I was at home with a fever and a cold and they were very good - they just chilled with me the whole time.
Here, Yoda is laying on Charly. Charly would occasionally turn around and sort of "bite" (not hard) at yoda's head/ears, as if he was going to play attack. But then instead he just LICKED yoda's head and went back to sleep. So even if for very short moments, and he seemed very unsure about what the heck he was doing, he kind of sort of groomed yoda's head a bit. For the first time ever (to my knowledge).

Sometimes, they just love to wrestle, chase, playfight. It sounds so dramatic, with Yoda growling, hissing, swatting, hiding under something. Charly gets intense.. but they are always distractable by treats. Last night they would. Not. Stop.
It sounded so rough but I had a fever and literally couldn't bring myself to get up. I was worried though. They also made a lot of noise in the process. It went on for ages. Probably half an hour, an hour of chasing, growling, hissing, intermittent quiet and off again.

Anyways I woke up with both of them curled up into balls next to/half on each other next to my legs. They were curled into each other. Then Yoda woke up..

So it sounds and looks like they are completely fine no matter how dramatic and insane they sound when they're doing their thing. It's hard for me when I know how aggressive Charly can get about play and hearing Yoda growl and hiss and backing into a corner. But then he comes out and chases Charly, it's like he's looking for trouble...

Feeling more relaxed about going to Germany soon now. Leaving in two weeks! I'll be gone for a week (my boyfriend will visit them twice a day). Ive put them both back on a bit of zylkene about two weeks ago and we'll keep that up until I'm back. They've responded well to it in the past so I'm hoping it will help with potential stress. Last time I left them, they were interacting but still stayed in separate rooms when alone. So this will be the first time they are alone together for about a week.

Here they are when they hear my boyfriend coming up the stairs to the flat.. (Charly left Yoda right)

They love him and it helps to know they'll be im good hands when I'm away.

 

[calicosrspecial]

A little Charly & Yoda Update.

They are rambunctious, full of energy, mischievous little boys. That's the conclusion I've come to

Over the weekend I was at home with a fever and a cold and they were very good - they just chilled with me the whole time.
Here, Yoda is laying on Charly. Charly would occasionally turn around and sort of "bite" (not hard) at yoda's head/ears, as if he was going to play attack. But then instead he just LICKED yoda's head and went back to sleep. So even if for very short moments, and he seemed very unsure about what the heck he was doing, he kind of sort of groomed yoda's head a bit. For the first time ever (to my knowledge).
View attachment 415325

Sometimes, they just love to wrestle, chase, playfight. It sounds so dramatic, with Yoda growling, hissing, swatting, hiding under something. Charly gets intense.. but they are always distractable by treats. Last night they would. Not. Stop.
It sounded so rough but I had a fever and literally couldn't bring myself to get up. I was worried though. They also made a lot of noise in the process. It went on for ages. Probably half an hour, an hour of chasing, growling, hissing, intermittent quiet and off again.

Anyways I woke up with both of them curled up into balls next to/half on each other next to my legs. They were curled into each other. Then Yoda woke up..View attachment 415327

So it sounds and looks like they are completely fine no matter how dramatic and insane they sound when they're doing their thing. It's hard for me when I know how aggressive Charly can get about play and hearing Yoda growl and hiss and backing into a corner. But then he comes out and chases Charly, it's like he's looking for trouble...

Feeling more relaxed about going to Germany soon now. Leaving in two weeks! I'll be gone for a week (my boyfriend will visit them twice a day). Ive put them both back on a bit of zylkene about two weeks ago and we'll keep that up until I'm back. They've responded well to it in the past so I'm hoping it will help with potential stress. Last time I left them, they were interacting but still stayed in separate rooms when alone. So this will be the first time they are alone together for about a week.

Here they are when they hear my boyfriend coming up the stairs to the flat.. (Charly left Yoda right)
View attachment 415329

They love him and it helps to know they'll be im good hands when I'm away.

"A little Charly & Yoda Update." - Great

"They are rambunctious, full of energy, mischievous little boys. That's the conclusion I've come to " - Hahahaha, yep. Boys!!!

"Over the weekend I was at home with a fever and a cold" - Oh my, I am sorry, I hope you feel better.

" and they were very good - they just chilled with me the whole time." - Awwwwwwwwww

"Here, Yoda is laying on Charly." - Awwwwwwwwwwww GRAT picture. Yep, they love and trust each other.

" Charly would occasionally turn around and sort of "bite" (not hard) at yoda's head/ears, as if he was going to play attack. But then instead he just LICKED yoda's head and went back to sleep." - Awwwwwwww. Yes, sounds like a "love bite" to me.

" So even if for very short moments, and he seemed very unsure about what the heck he was doing, he kind of sort of groomed yoda's head a bit. For the first time ever (to my knowledge). " - Awwwwww. SO ADORABLE!!!

THAT picture is PERFECT!!!

"Sometimes, they just love to wrestle, chase, playfight. It sounds so dramatic, with Yoda growling, hissing, swatting, hiding under something. Charly gets intense.. but they are always distractable by treats. Last night they would. Not. Stop." - Yes, boys. Great they are distractable. Yes, Charly is intense BUT it just does not seem like it is "mean" just his lack of social skills.

"It sounded so rough but I had a fever and literally couldn't bring myself to get up. I was worried though. They also made a lot of noise in the process. It went on for ages. Probably half an hour, an hour of chasing, growling, hissing, intermittent quiet and off again." - Yep :/ Cats will do that. :/

"Anyways I woke up with both of them curled up into balls next to/half on each other next to my legs. They were curled into each other. Then Yoda woke up.. " - And that supports what I mention above. It is just Charly being Charly. And Yoda is learning about him.

Look at how ADROABLE that picture is!!!!

"So it sounds and looks like they are completely fine no matter how dramatic and insane they sound when they're doing their thing. " - Agreed. IF there was something they would not be so good after.

"It's hard for me when I know how aggressive Charly can get about play and hearing Yoda growl and hiss and backing into a corner. " - ABSOLUTELY!!!! :/

"But then he comes out and chases Charly, it's like he's looking for trouble... " - Awwwwwwwwwww He can't be that afraid.

"Feeling more relaxed about going to Germany soon now. Leaving in two weeks! " - GREAT!!! Enjoy!!!

"I'll be gone for a week (my boyfriend will visit them twice a day). Ive put them both back on a bit of zylkene about two weeks ago and we'll keep that up until I'm back." - Great

" They've responded well to it in the past so I'm hoping it will help with potential stress. " - They will be fine I am sure.

"Last time I left them, they were interacting but still stayed in separate rooms when alone." - Ok.

" So this will be the first time they are alone together for about a week." - Ok. Well, you can always do it like the previous trip (separate rooms when alone). They will be fine.

"Here they are when they hear my boyfriend coming up the stairs to the flat.. (Charly left Yoda right) " - GORGEOUS!!! ADORABLE!!! Look at those looks!!! Awwwwwwwwwwww

"They love him and it helps to know they'll be im good hands when I'm away." - So great. Amazing progress!!! Yoda has really helped Charly!!! FANTASTIC!!!

Thank you for the great update!!!!

Hope you are feeling better!!!

 

[noani]

Would you think it'd be better to separate them when I leave? I'm thinking even with getting into rough play fights, they would both be happier with the company than without.

Would we expect Yoda to get used to Charly being Charly and growl and hiss less? Or would we expect Charly to stop / curb the behaviour gradually?
It doesn't seem to affect them negatively as they are both fine but it is a bit annoying when it's in the middle of the night, and I'd just generally prefer if they weren't knocking over all my stuff, breaking things and Yoda growling and hissing and generally both making a heck of a ruckus.

Things seem to be at a bit of a standstill at the current status quo (so multiple times daily of very rough play which ends with Yoda in a corner or under something growling hissing interspersed with sleeping and eating together or each chilling somewhere). Or should I just come to terms with the fact that this is going to be the normal day to day from now on?

 

[calicosrspecial]

Would you think it'd be better to separate them when I leave? I'm thinking even with getting into rough play fights, they would both be happier with the company than without.

Would we expect Yoda to get used to Charly being Charly and growl and hiss less? Or would we expect Charly to stop / curb the behaviour gradually?
It doesn't seem to affect them negatively as they are both fine but it is a bit annoying when it's in the middle of the night, and I'd just generally prefer if they weren't knocking over all my stuff, breaking things and Yoda growling and hissing and generally both making a heck of a ruckus.

Things seem to be at a bit of a standstill at the current status quo (so multiple times daily of very rough play which ends with Yoda in a corner or under something growling hissing interspersed with sleeping and eating together or each chilling somewhere). Or should I just come to terms with the fact that this is going to be the normal day to day from now on?

"Would you think it'd be better to separate them when I leave?" - I don't know. I guess it depends. Being supervised when together is safest as you being gone may increase stress. Of course, they are together when you are at work etc. BUT you come back. Of course not being together can cause stress as well. Hmmmmmmm. I am maybe leaning towards being separate when your boyfriend is not around.

"I'm thinking even with getting into rough play fights, they would both be happier with the company than without." - Exactly. That is a good reason why it is not an easy choice. :/

"Would we expect Yoda to get used to Charly being Charly and growl and hiss less? Or would we expect Charly to stop / curb the behaviour gradually?" - I think both. But they both may be around for the whole time (just a lessened amount). I think they will be pretty wild for a while. You will get more accepting of it.

"It doesn't seem to affect them negatively as they are both fine" - Exactly. That tells me that it is just their way of having fun, playing. My two feral boys make Charly and Yoda look like angels. :/ And my boys LOVE each other and are fine but wow they get wild and ROUGH!!!

" but it is a bit annoying when it's in the middle of the night, " - Yep. I deal with that as well more often than I care to admit but I will say we do learn to "deal" with it as time goes by. :/

"and I'd just generally prefer if they weren't knocking over all my stuff, breaking things and Yoda growling and hissing and generally both making a heck of a ruckus." - Yep. Welcome to my world (and a lot of worlds!!). I have to "cat proof" things. I have so many objects I can't have out because of that exact issue. :/

"Things seem to be at a bit of a standstill at the current status quo (so multiple times daily of very rough play which ends with Yoda in a corner or under something growling hissing interspersed with sleeping and eating together or each chilling somewhere)." - Ok :/ It sounds like the "game" is to "win" by getting Yoda in a corner. Then the "game" is over. This is more common that people realize. My oldest boy LOVED to do this to my oldest (resident) cat. He would chase, corner, etc. It seemed scary then I realized it is all a game. THEN I found her searching him out to be chased. :/ Yep. It is really something to analyze to make sure it is innocent and play rather than something serious.

"Or should I just come to terms with the fact that this is going to be the normal day to day from now on? " - :/ Well, I think that is exactly correct. It is the way they are. How they play, interact, live together. As long as there are no real negatives then I wouldn't worry. Let's keep an eye that it doesn't escalate but I suspect it will not. It is just them being them. Boys. :/

When do you leave? We'll figure out what is best to do and the pros and cons of each.

 

[noani]

I'm leaving (negative COVID test by health authorities tomorrow permitting) next Wednesday. They are very strict here - I've been negative on self test since Monday but I must stay isolated until the mandated time is up and am unallowed to leave the house to get tested - I must wait for the health ministry officials to come to my house and test me.

Now back to the cats.
They get wild and dramatic, hissy and growly every day (Charly gets rough with him but lets it go sooner rather than later now, like he's starting to get "ok maybe it's a bit much I may have to take a chill pill". He struggles with that but he calms down much quicker now and walks off rather than cornering Yoda for ages. He'll sit nearby though and Yoda sometimes comes out and chases him and off they go again! Charly gets riled up again, Yoda ends up cornered and hissing and growling, and after a bit Charly stops insisting. Then eventually they settle down and fall asleep next to each other or sometimes just on objects near one another but turning their backs etc, no issue.

I've actually caught Charly in the act of grooming Yoda a few times now! Can't believe it.

Seeing their relationship evolve is the most beautiful thing ever.

Yoda is on the right and Charly left in these pics. Despite Charly getting rough and pulling a few bits of hair out and making Yoda yell and run, he seems to trust his brother fully.

Then Yoda rolled over. He is just too much sometimes I'm taking it as a good sign though that their daily spats aren't damaging their relationship at all. If anything they seem to be growing closer and closer each day

Here's one from a few days ago, Yoda was grooming Charly and gave him a rather interesting hairstyle

They also hang out on my tabletop easel (which I am not allowed to use anymore as it is their vantage point to oversee my painting..)

And in general seem to be becoming good friends. I don't think I'll be separating them when I go to Germany, although my boyfriend will update me twice a day and we are prepared to make changes if necessary. Both rooms are set up with litterboxes, toys and water bowls (I don't free feed) so if need be, they can be separated easily.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I'm leaving (negative COVID test by health authorities tomorrow permitting) next Wednesday. They are very strict here - I've been negative on self test since Monday but I must stay isolated until the mandated time is up and am unallowed to leave the house to get tested - I must wait for the health ministry officials to come to my house and test me.

Now back to the cats.
They get wild and dramatic, hissy and growly every day (Charly gets rough with him but lets it go sooner rather than later now, like he's starting to get "ok maybe it's a bit much I may have to take a chill pill". He struggles with that but he calms down much quicker now and walks off rather than cornering Yoda for ages. He'll sit nearby though and Yoda sometimes comes out and chases him and off they go again! Charly gets riled up again, Yoda ends up cornered and hissing and growling, and after a bit Charly stops insisting. Then eventually they settle down and fall asleep next to each other or sometimes just on objects near one another but turning their backs etc, no issue.

I've actually caught Charly in the act of grooming Yoda a few times now! Can't believe it.

Seeing their relationship evolve is the most beautiful thing ever.

Yoda is on the right and Charly left in these pics. Despite Charly getting rough and pulling a few bits of hair out and making Yoda yell and run, he seems to trust his brother fully.
View attachment 416137

View attachment 416136
Then Yoda rolled over. He is just too much sometimes I'm taking it as a good sign though that their daily spats aren't damaging their relationship at all. If anything they seem to be growing closer and closer each day
View attachment 416138
Here's one from a few days ago, Yoda was grooming Charly and gave him a rather interesting hairstyle
View attachment 416139
They also hang out on my tabletop easel (which I am not allowed to use anymore as it is their vantage point to oversee my painting..)
View attachment 416140
And in general seem to be becoming good friends. I don't think I'll be separating them when I go to Germany, although my boyfriend will update me twice a day and we are prepared to make changes if necessary. Both rooms are set up with litterboxes, toys and water bowls (I don't free feed) so if need be, they can be separated easily.

"I'm leaving (negative COVID test by health authorities tomorrow permitting) next Wednesday." - Great, exciting. I hope the test was god.

"They are very strict here" - YES!!! Which is good but inconvenient. :/

" - I've been negative on self test since Monday but I must stay isolated until the mandated time is up and am unallowed to leave the house to get tested - I must wait for the health ministry officials to come to my house and test me." - Wow

Now back to the cats.
"They get wild and dramatic, hissy and growly every day" - Yep :/

" (Charly gets rough with him but lets it go sooner rather than later now, like he's starting to get "ok maybe it's a bit much I may have to take a chill pill". " - WOW!!! THAT is GREAT!!!!

"He struggles with that but he calms down much quicker now and walks off rather than cornering Yoda for ages." - GREAT!!!

" He'll sit nearby though and Yoda sometimes comes out and chases him and off they go again! " - OH MY!!! TOO SILLY!!!

"Charly gets riled up again, Yoda ends up cornered and hissing and growling, and after a bit Charly stops insisting." - Interesting, that is their way of playing. :/

" Then eventually they settle down and fall asleep next to each other or sometimes just on objects near one another but turning their backs etc, no issue." - Awwwwwwwwww. Tells us everything!!!

"I've actually caught Charly in the act of grooming Yoda a few times now! Can't believe it." - Awwwww SO ADORABLE!!!

"Seeing their relationship evolve is the most beautiful thing ever." - AGREED!!!! I think you know the wonderful feeling I am feeling right now!!!

"Yoda is on the right and Charly left in these pics. Despite Charly getting rough and pulling a few bits of hair out and making Yoda yell and run, he seems to trust his brother fully. " - Awwwwww. TOTAL TRUST, RESPECT AND LOVE!!!

These pictures are ADORABLE AND WONDERFUL!!!!!

My goodness they are GORGEOUS!!!!

"Then Yoda rolled over." - Awwwwwwwww That position he is in is SUCH A SIGN OF TRUST!!! AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL!!!

" He is just too much sometimes " - Awwwwwwwwwwwww

"I'm taking it as a good sign though that their daily spats aren't damaging their relationship at all. If anything they seem to be growing closer and closer each day " - TOTALLY AGREE!!! It is just them. Their base of trust, respect and love is solid!!!

"Here's one from a few days ago, Yoda was grooming Charly and gave him a rather interesting hairstyle " - HAHAHAHAHA!!

"They also hang out on my tabletop easel (which I am not allowed to use anymore as it is their vantage point to oversee my painting..) " - Oh my. How long until they want to help paint??????? ADORABLE picture!!!

"And in general seem to be becoming good friends." - AGREED!!!! I think more than friends, family.

"I don't think I'll be separating them when I go to Germany, although my boyfriend will update me twice a day and we are prepared to make changes if necessary. Both rooms are set up with litterboxes, toys and water bowls (I don't free feed) so if need be, they can be separated easily." - OK. I can see why. That sounds good. Every indication is they should be fine. Of course something could happen given the stress of you being away but it seems like a small risk. And being separated might cause more stress. The decision you make will be well thought and will be the best decision. And they love your boyfriend so that will help a lot.

 

[noani]

Update: I'm back. They are fine. They stayed together the whole time and my boyfriend came twice a day as with previous trips. If anything, they seem closer and more used to each other than before

(Yoda is the one winking haha).

I guess this has been the ultimate confirmation that they are officially friends and brothers now, despite daily squabbles.

It makes me so happy to see them like this

 

[calicosrspecial]

Update: I'm back. They are fine. They stayed together the whole time and my boyfriend came twice a day as with previous trips. If anything, they seem closer and more used to each other than before

(Yoda is the one winking haha).
View attachment 417804
I guess this has been the ultimate confirmation that they are officially friends and brothers now, despite daily squabbles.

It makes me so happy to see them like this

"Update: I'm back." - Welcome back!! Hope you had a great visit.

" They are fine." - Fantastic!!!

" They stayed together the whole time and my boyfriend came twice a day as with previous trips. If anything, they seem closer and more used to each other than before " - Awwwwwwwwww. WONDERFUL!!!!

ADORABLE PICTURE!!!! Picture perfect!!!

"I guess this has been the ultimate confirmation that they are officially friends and brothers now, despite daily squabbles." - AGREED!!!!

"It makes me so happy to see them like this " - I can imagine. It warms my heart and brings a smile to my lips.

GREAT job with them!!!