Nearing The End... Go Out With A Bang?

[FelisCatus]

That's challenging, because if a person is still feeling decent, I think that not very many would make that choice.

But when things deteriorate and pain management is not able to handle it any longer, then quality of life isn't there and even the most selfless person struggles.

For now, I think Metacam is helping her with her ulcerating tumor. The smell though omg... as a cat who I would describe as Mrs. Clean, it must be driving her crazy.

I keep going through these motions of never wanting a cat again because the pain is beyond unbearable, but also wanting to spend my life with them (I still have 2 other cats).

The first cat I lost passed away very suddenly and it was like a bandaid being ripped off, but in thise case it has been dragging on and not even remotely comparable since I need to make the decision when.

 

[Kflowers]

Too early is better than too late. We had a beautiful generous cat who went into kidney failure. He didn't complain, he pretty much stopped moving around the house. We took him to the vet. He said nothing there. The vet told us it was time. The cat said nothing there, he seemed fine. We didn't believe the vet. We drove him home. The minute he came out of his carrier at home he started screaming and did not stop. He screamed all the way back to the vet. He screamed until his was pts. The vet said, they hide their pain until they feel safe. Once he let us know his pain he couldn't stop screaming.

Do you want to carry that?

Do not go by is she still eating. The little one I bought the squid for, ate every meal I gave her then one afternoon passed out with her head in her water bowl. I took her then. The vet said drowning was not a good way to go. She was too tired to hold her head up.

Step aside from yourself. This decision is about her, what she needs and feels not about what others need and feel. You said you wouldn't choose it for yourself because others wouldn't want you to. I can't help feeling that others in your life are not so selfish as to want you to endure pain so they can put off grieving by a few days.

Are you not grieving now?

 

[les26]

Sure she can tell, but she also feels your love.

Try some chamomile tea, or some holy basil, les26 has commented that it helps him through difficult times like this.

Also L-Tryptophan!

 

[FelisCatus]

Too early is better than too late. We had a beautiful generous cat who went into kidney failure. He didn't complain, he pretty much stopped moving around the house. We took him to the vet. He said nothing there. The vet told us it was time. The cat said nothing there, he seemed fine. We didn't believe the vet. We drove him home. The minute he came out of his carrier at home he started screaming and did not stop. He screamed all the way back to the vet. He screamed until his was pts. The vet said, they hide their pain until they feel safe. Once he let us know his pain he couldn't stop screaming.

Do you want to carry that?

Do not go by is she still eating. The little one I bought the squid for, ate every meal I gave her then one afternoon passed out with her head in her water bowl. I took her then. The vet said drowning was not a good way to go. She was too tired to hold her head up.

Step aside from yourself. This decision is about her, what she needs and feels not about what others need and feel. You said you wouldn't choose it for yourself because others wouldn't want you to. I can't help feeling that others in your life are not so selfish as to want you to endure pain so they can put off grieving by a few days.

Are you not grieving now?

Thank you for the perspective... I would not want that for her, no... in our case the oncologist said it would be pleural effusion and not the ulcerating tumor that would take her first. She had said pleural effusion is one of the worst pains a cat can go through as each breath feels like they have been stabbed by a knife. My only option at this point would be to do more x-rays and see how the smaller tumors are doing around her lungs.

 

[FelisCatus]

Also L-Tryptophan!

Thank you for the suggestion. I am on SSRIs though and it might give me serotonin overdose so I will just try the tea .

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

A If you have a yard I would try taking her outside depending on the water.

Unless she is used to going outside, I'm not sure I would even attempt to take her into the yard. At this stage in the game, I wouldn't try to take her anywhere she isn't used to. As others have pointed out, strange places can frighten cats, and that includes your own yard, if she's not used to it. She may see it every single day through the window, but seeing it and actually going there are two entirely different things. My guys have lived here for almost ten years and if I pick them up and carry them towards either door, they panic .

What does the Vet advise about the smell of her ulceraton? Has it become infected? I know from some of your other posts that you put a soft collar on her so she wouldn't lick at it, but an open "wound" can still get infected. I've just never read any posts here before where people said the smell was bad, and unfortunately, I HAVE read posts about mammary cancer and the tumors ulcerating .

I've had three cats who were chronically ill, and we knew when the time was right . I always told them all they had to do was let me know and I would help them over the bridge. My soul cat did just that. I looked him straight in his eyes and asked him if he was ready to leave me, and he usually did the exact thing, which let me know he wasn't ready. The very last time, he did something very different, which told me he was ready. I asked again, and he did the very same thing. So I told him I would take him to see Dr. Christina the very first thing in the morning, since it was late at night when this happened. As soon as I said that to him, he started purring, that loudest purr I had heard in ages. We took him in first thing the next morning, and I swear he passed as soon as the needle touched him. I'm still not sure if any of the drugs in the syringe even needed to be pushed . I think he was just waiting for me to tell him it was "okay". That I would be okay. We must be strong for them. It's the greatest gift we can give them, even as our hearts break in two.

 

[kittyluv387]

Even if she's not used to human treats you can try offering it to her. If she doesn't want it, it's okay.

 

[FelisCatus]

Unless she is used to going outside, I'm not sure I would even attempt to take her into the yard. At this stage in the game, I wouldn't try to take her anywhere she isn't used to. As others have pointed out, strange places can frighten cats, and that includes your own yard, if she's not used to it. She may see it every single day through the window, but seeing it and actually going there are two entirely different things. My guys have lived here for almost ten years and if I pick them up and carry them towards either door, they panic .

What does the Vet advise about the smell of her ulceraton? Has it become infected? I know from some of your other posts that you put a soft collar on her so she wouldn't lick at it, but an open "wound" can still get infected. I've just never read any posts here before where people said the smell was bad, and unfortunately, I HAVE read posts about mammary cancer and the tumors ulcerating .

I've had three cats who were chronically ill, and we knew when the time was right . I always told them all they had to do was let me know and I would help them over the bridge. My soul cat did just that. I looked him straight in his eyes and asked him if he was ready to leave me, and he usually did the exact thing, which let me know he wasn't ready. The very last time, he did something very different, which told me he was ready. I asked again, and he did the very same thing. So I told him I would take him to see Dr. Christina the very first thing in the morning, since it was late at night when this happened. As soon as I said that to him, he started purring, that loudest purr I had heard in ages. We took him in first thing the next morning, and I swear he passed as soon as the needle touched him. I'm still not sure if any of the drugs in the syringe even needed to be pushed . I think he was just waiting for me to tell him it was "okay". That I would be okay. We must be strong for them. It's the greatest gift we can give them, even as our hearts break in two.

We don’t have a yard but she was always fine with looking out, I will have to take what you said into consideration.

The smell is most likely just dead tumor cells, at this point it shouldn’t be an infection as she has been on 3 different ones since the beginning. I actually just gave her the Marbofloxacin tablet now.

From looking into her eyes, she seems okay still. A bit tired but no obvious signs. She runs as fast as she can when she hears treats.

I will do a grocery run tomorrow for some of the suggestions on here like squid, chicken pieces, cheese, etc. Her sister, an adopted former stray will be beyond envious as they love human food haha.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Offer her the things she loves, and anything you think she MIGHT love! It's just a morsel, and saying "no I don't want it" won't hurt a thing!

I hope that this might help you. It is a scorecard for quality of life, and was designed to take some of the pain out of deciding when.


The Feline Quality of Life Scale Helps You Determine If It's Time to Say Goodbye to Your Cat | Catster

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

One thing my guys (and the ones no longer with us) loved, is 100% freeze dried meats, like Purebites or, in particular Wholelife. These are actually pet treats, so all your cats should be able to enjoy them. They are very healthy, since there is only one ingredient in them, and that is whichever meat you select. Mine all prefer chicken, but they sell them in chicken, turkey, lamb, beef, liver, lung (I think), etc. I usually buy them in the dog section because they come in a larger package for less money. You can usually find them at places like Petco or Petsmart. Don't know if you have those in Canada though.

 

[FelisCatus]

Offer her the things she loves, and anything you think she MIGHT love! It's just a morsel, and saying "no I don't want it" won't hurt a thing!

I hope that this might help you. It is a scorecard for quality of life, and was designed to take some of the pain out of deciding when.


The Feline Quality of Life Scale Helps You Determine If It's Time to Say Goodbye to Your Cat | Catster

She still rates very high with this, we were just having a nice brushing session and she was purring away right before I wrote this reply.

It makes me sad to think I won’t be able to have these sessions with her not long from now. I did manage to record her purring so I will try and cut it out of the clip and see if I can make a nice little audio file I could listen to when I am missing her.

Despite feeling very down the past while since getting the diagnosis, I do feel fortunate versus other unfortunate souls going through similiar situations in that I was able to take literally thousands of pics over the past 2 months. Also to celebrate Christmas and New Years with her. I am planning to buy a second external hard drive so I have a double back up of my important family photos and videos. I would be devestated if I lost everything.

Oh.... she just crawled on my butt since I am laying on my tummy . More things I will miss....

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Cherish every moment, and know that the part of her that is pure Love will remain with you always.

 

[di and bob]

I have known and loved cats for over 50 years, and the one thing that has always been consistent is that they absolutely hate change and get very stressed out when it happens. Some cats are better at hiding stress than others. I, myself, would take the trip after, your precious little one will have a secure place in your heart and will live on through you then, and anything that will bring you joy and happiness will bring it to her also.
Most cats will completely stop eating when the time is near, anything to entice them to eat should be tried. Mine, too, only ate cat food, but bacon and Arby's roast beef were eaten when nothing else would be.
The one thing I regret is not asking the vet for one pain injection, or vial of oral liquid, that could be given when the pain becomes too much, to decrease the fear that accompanies the end. It comes quickly, and in our case on a holiday when our vet and his assistants were called out on a emergency when a cattle truck overturned.
I advise you too, that no matter how much you prepare for the end, it still is a blow to the soul when it actually happens. You can never prepare for a broken heart. But you can make good memories now, you can bring happiness and comfort to that little girl and having you near is enough. She may even pull away from you towards the end, she may start hiding, or not reacting to your comfort. This is her way of trying to spare your pain. If she passes during the night, do not bring more pain to an already broken heart, the bond of love you share with her will be with her always, and also with you, your love will surround her and bring her peace.
My heart goes out to you, I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Look at this time you have left with her as a blessing, to lose someone suddenly and unexpectedly is a much harder on the ones left behind. And when the time comes, somehow you will find the strength in your love to do what needs to be done. You will free her from her suffering and she will forever be grateful and ready, because she was so very loved.....

 

[FelisCatus]

I have known and loved cats for over 50 years, and the one thing that has always been consistent is that they absolutely hate change and get very stressed out when it happens. Some cats are better at hiding stress than others. I, myself, would take the trip after, your precious little one will have a secure place in your heart and will live on through you then, and anything that will bring you joy and happiness will bring it to her also.
Most cats will completely stop eating when the time is near, anything to entice them to eat should be tried. Mine, too, only ate cat food, but bacon and Arby's roast beef were eaten when nothing else would be.
The one thing I regret is not asking the vet for one pain injection, or vial of oral liquid, that could be given when the pain becomes too much, to decrease the fear that accompanies the end. It comes quickly, and in our case on a holiday when our vet and his assistants were called out on a emergency when a cattle truck overturned.
I advise you too, that no matter how much you prepare for the end, it still is a blow to the soul when it actually happens. You can never prepare for a broken heart. But you can make good memories now, you can bring happiness and comfort to that little girl and having you near is enough. She may even pull away from you towards the end, she may start hiding, or not reacting to your comfort. This is her way of trying to spare your pain. If she passes during the night, do not bring more pain to an already broken heart, the bond of love you share with her will be with her always, and also with you, your love will surround her and bring her peace.
My heart goes out to you, I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Look at this time you have left with her as a blessing, to lose someone suddenly and unexpectedly is a much harder on the ones left behind. And when the time comes, somehow you will find the strength in your love to do what needs to be done. You will free her from her suffering and she will forever be grateful and ready, because she was so very loved.....

Oof, I really shouldn’t have read this while at work... it brought tears to my eyes .

 

[di and bob]

I have my own tears for you and yours too, bless you for loving so much...,.

 

[Maria Bayote]

If your cat is the type that loves the outdoors, then bring her out one last time. Take a stroll along the beach, or hike on a short route in the woods and stop by the lake or something. Bring her favorite food. Take lots of photos of your last days together while outside. Bring a guitar and play for her if you play that instrument. Anything!

My heart bleeds for you and for your baby. I cannot imagine the sadness you may be feeling right now. Please be strong. Hang in there. Make her last memories with you the happiest ones.

My prayers.

 

[FelisCatus]

Thank you everyone for your kind words, I am going to go grocery shopping on my way home from work and will beyond spoil her. Just waiting for my ~2 week vacation to be approved too.

Here is my shopping list for her:

-Eggs
-Salmon
-Squid
-Plain yoghurt
-Cheeder cheese block
-Chicken breast
-Chicken thigh
-Apples
-Bananas
-Lettuce
-Canned tuna

I created this list by combining your suggestions along with what I could find online .

I will of course try in small quantities at first and if she doesn’t like that particular item I will just sit with her and have a nibble hehe.

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm sending every good thought I have

 

[KarenKat]

I was exactly where you were at the end of November with Trin. We decided to put him to sleep based on many factors, but none of them were major enough by themselves. He has probably Lymphoma, hated the daily meds, was not happy with the effects, wasn’t getting much better and started to exhibit extreme stress signs (peeing everywhere, fur loss on firearms due to chewing, stopped playing). It was time, but what bothered me most was what time? Could I give him extra hours? A day? Why 10 am, why not 11? In the end it’s about the love you demonstrate when choosing. I hated the feeling that I was solely responsible for when he passed, but that was right because I saved him an indignant death.

What we did on his last week was to spoil him. First we stopped the meds and he played harder than he ever had - leaping in the air and having so much fun. We fed him his favorite snack - chicken - every day and every time we thought of it. We gave him all the love and bed cuddles (but not enough to smother him and make it weird).

You know your cat best. You’ve lived with and loved him for so many years, trust what you know. If he likes new treats and adventure, do it. If he likes home and to be around his family, give him that. You know best because you love him best.

In the end, we had a vet come to the house for Trin. I was more expensive but he was surrounded by his loved ones and not in a sharp cold vet office. I really recommend it. I’m so sorry for your kitty.

 

[Furballsmom]

I do that, I give my guy some mackerel, and then I finish off the rest of the can