Help/Advice for introductions

[Graham18]

You are very welcome.

"I do have two quick questions." - Ok

"1. How long should I be allowing the visits with his harness to take place?" - As long as they are positive. Intro's are more art than science so there are no set rules. The rule really is whatever works is the rule. BUT maximizing positive encounters and minimizing or avoiding negative encounters is really the key. 2 minutes of positive encounter is better than 10 minutes of positive then a negative encounter. We are all about building trust and confidence. And if it is fully positive then it helps build that trust and therefore confidence.

"Usually the morning isn't very long as I don't have much time before I leave for work." - That is fine. Just try to make it positive. Positive association (using food) then a positive encounter should go along with it.

"At night, I feed them both wet food together as soon as I get home" - Great

I should add, keeping cats on a routine tends to help since cats like routines AND human emotions are important so if you are rushed or stressed then decompress a bit then do a session as cats tend to take on our emotions so the more, calm and confident and positive we are the more they are.

"and then usually try and bring Fluffy out around 8:30 (depends on the time I get home from work which is usually around 7:45)." - Sounds good.

" I've only been limiting the visits at night to maybe five minutes as I don't want to keep giving too many treats" - Ok

" and after a few minutes both cats are kind of just laying there and nothing is really happening (Fluffy on the ground, Sapphire on the chair)." - Ok, that is terrific. So hanging out with them like that is good if you can. And if you sense them getting a bit restless then just end it there before anything gets wild. Hanging out in each others company and doing nothing is great to build trust. Of course, cats tend to get interested in the other cat but sense when that is going to happen then just end it there.

" Fluffy also knows that at 9 he gets kibble in his treat ball and it's bed time after that so he sometimes gets a bit antsey" - Yep, they will.

" though if he's not I'll bring him up to his perch to look outside a bit." - That is great.

" How long should I be letting them visit for? " As long as you think it is positive. So if it is 5 minutes and positive that is great or if it is 30 minutes it is great.

"I've been keeping them short for the reasons above" - Yes, that is fine.

" and I also don't want either cat to get too stressed or anxious and " - Well, usually there are signs before (maybe not a long lead time but usually there is a bit of a warning). And you can try to reassure with calm, confident and loving words to try to distract and de-escalate.

"I really don't know if I should just be sitting there doing nothing with them for longer or not." - You can (I do) but again as long as it is positive. But don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just enjoy it and go with them and their behavior.

"And 2. At what point should I try moving forward to another step?" - When you feel it will be successful. So our next step will probably be with Fluffy of the harness. So we need to be confident he can be distracted and that she is confident enough (not to run). I don;t think we are there yet but I think it will be soon.

"What signs should I be looking for?" - Body language, ease of being distracted, them looking away from each other.

" My thought was the next step would be letting Fluffy out but leaving his harness on without the leash" - Your instincts/thoughts are spot on. Exactly. Yes, you could leave the harness on and take off the leash when we are ready.

" since I don't think he would have the same speed in it if he decided to try and play and I could catch him or get him to treats before he could." - Yes, that could be helpful. As long as he likes the harness (or accepts it).

" I'm just not sure what I should be looking for before moving up to this step or even the next. " - Body language, ease of distraction, them looking away from each other, turning their back on each other, showing some submissiveness (like showing their belly, laying on their side, etc). You'll feel it. And I'll help you know when it should progress. I think you are close. I just want Sapphire to be a bit more confident, a bit more comfortable before going there. If you keep up the current work she will.

Just ask anything to clarify. Sometimes it is a bit hard to communicate but hopefully examples help it more understandable. It is like trying to explain love. You kinda know when you feel it but tough to describe. Hopefully I have given some idea of what we are looking for.

Keep up the great work.

Thank you!

Another non eventful day and a half. I did notice that Sapphire is not getting as defensive anymore if he is moving. She'll only start to get defensive if he starts to get pretty close to her. Other than that it is the same old. They'll both eat their treats and fluffy will lay down for a bit before turning around and walking to his room for play time and supper (he had to have a time out tonight as he was starting to get really bitey with me going after my ankles, hands, and wrists relentlessly). I havent quite figured out what triggers it yet whether it is just over stimulation, or he wants his food, etc. I sometimes worry that there is something wrong with him due to his non stop meowing but I think I'm most likely being over protective.

On a side note, which might be too much information, last night Fluffy was having litter box issues, which required me to clean his bum for a good half hour (long haired cats problems). While he was crying and screaming and hissing at me Sapphire came over and just sat by his gate the whole time. I doubt it meant anything but in my mind I thought it was nice that his big sister was coming over to keep him company while he was in pain.

Sorry for the TMI

 

[rubysmama]

On a side note, which might be too much information, last night Fluffy was having litter box issues, which required me to clean his bum for a good half hour (long haired cats problems).

If you need any tips, we have this article: Be Kind To Your Cats’ Behinds! Dirty Cat Butts Prevention And Treatment – TheCatSite Articles

While he was crying and screaming and hissing at me Sapphire came over and just sat by his gate the whole time. I doubt it meant anything but in my mind I thought it was nice that his big sister was coming over to keep him company while he was in pain.

Awww... sweet. And reminded me of something that has been mentioned before, when a cat introduction is going slowly, Put both cats in their carriers and take them out in the car for a drive. In theory, the fact that they're both going somewhere unknown, and then return to the home together, might be a bonding experience for them. No guarantees, of course, but something to maybe consider.

Sorry for the TMI

With our cats, TMI is purrfectly normal.
We even have a poop emoji.

 

[Graham18]

If you need any tips, we have this article: Be Kind To Your Cats’ Behinds! Dirty Cat Butts Prevention And Treatment – TheCatSite Articles



Awww... sweet. And reminded me of something that has been mentioned before, when a cat introduction is going slowly, Put both cats in their carriers and take them out in the car for a drive. In theory, the fact that they're both going somewhere unknown, and then return to the home together, might be a bonding experience for them. No guarantees, of course, but something to maybe consider.



With our cats, TMI is purrfectly normal.
We even have a poop emoji.

Thank you for the article! And I may try the carrier in the car thing I just need to find my second carrier!

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thank you!

Another non eventful day and a half. I did notice that Sapphire is not getting as defensive anymore if he is moving. She'll only start to get defensive if he starts to get pretty close to her. Other than that it is the same old. They'll both eat their treats and fluffy will lay down for a bit before turning around and walking to his room for play time and supper (he had to have a time out tonight as he was starting to get really bitey with me going after my ankles, hands, and wrists relentlessly). I havent quite figured out what triggers it yet whether it is just over stimulation, or he wants his food, etc. I sometimes worry that there is something wrong with him due to his non stop meowing but I think I'm most likely being over protective.

On a side note, which might be too much information, last night Fluffy was having litter box issues, which required me to clean his bum for a good half hour (long haired cats problems). While he was crying and screaming and hissing at me Sapphire came over and just sat by his gate the whole time. I doubt it meant anything but in my mind I thought it was nice that his big sister was coming over to keep him company while he was in pain.

Sorry for the TMI

"Another non eventful day and a half." - Great. "Non eventful" = building trust and confidence.

" I did notice that Sapphire is not getting as defensive anymore if he is moving." - Exactly what we want to see.

"She'll only start to get defensive if he starts to get pretty close to her." - Normal, that is fine. It is how the progression goes.

"Other than that it is the same old." - Great

" They'll both eat their treats and fluffy will lay down for a bit" - Perfect!!!

" before turning around and walking to his room for play time and supper" - I LOVE THIS that he shows her that "there is something else I am interested in". This is a big deal to show her and build trust.

" (he had to have a time out tonight as he was starting to get really bitey with me going after my ankles, hands, and wrists relentlessly). I havent quite figured out what triggers it yet whether it is just over stimulation, or he wants his food, etc." - Yes, too much excess energy, over stimulation, his way of telling you he wants something. Any of those. A calm and confident "no" might help. Let him know it is unacceptable without escalating it and causing stress. So your emotions when you do it are very important not to escalate the situation. Maybe pull out a toy to get him focused on that. Distraction. Doesn't sound like he wants top hurt etc which is good but we don't want that.

" I sometimes worry that there is something wrong with him due to his non stop meowing" - Hmmmmm, we'll keep an eye out but I am guessing he wants his freedom (either out of the room or off the harness). But let's look for other signs. There would be issues all the time not just in certain instances.

"but I think I'm most likely being over protective." - Ok but we'll keep a watch.

"On a side note, which might be too much information, last night Fluffy was having litter box issues, which required me to clean his bum for a good half hour (long haired cats problems). " - No, not too much info. At my age I have seen and gone through it all. Was it "normal" or was it looser or different than normal?

"While he was crying and screaming and hissing at me" - Yes, it is actually really good he wasn't biting and scratching. It is hard to do. Thanks to rubysmama for the link!!!

"Sapphire came over and just sat by his gate the whole time." - Awwwwwwwwwwwww. She cared. That is really a good sign!!!

"I doubt it meant anything" - Disagree, I think it meant a lot. There is bonding. She was worried. It is a big deal and a positive in my eyes.

" but in my mind I thought it was nice that his big sister was coming over to keep him company while he was in pain." - ABSOLUTELY!!! TOTALLY AGREE!!!

"Sorry for the TMI" - Oh my, it is ok. Sometimes we have to mention things like that. Please do not worry.

Sounds great. Just keep it up. Maybe we are starting to see the signs. We just need to keep repeating them.

Great job, keep up the great work.

 

[Graham18]

"Another non eventful day and a half." - Great. "Non eventful" = building trust and confidence.

" I did notice that Sapphire is not getting as defensive anymore if he is moving." - Exactly what we want to see.

"She'll only start to get defensive if he starts to get pretty close to her." - Normal, that is fine. It is how the progression goes.

"Other than that it is the same old." - Great

" They'll both eat their treats and fluffy will lay down for a bit" - Perfect!!!

" before turning around and walking to his room for play time and supper" - I LOVE THIS that he shows her that "there is something else I am interested in". This is a big deal to show her and build trust.

" (he had to have a time out tonight as he was starting to get really bitey with me going after my ankles, hands, and wrists relentlessly). I havent quite figured out what triggers it yet whether it is just over stimulation, or he wants his food, etc." - Yes, too much excess energy, over stimulation, his way of telling you he wants something. Any of those. A calm and confident "no" might help. Let him know it is unacceptable without escalating it and causing stress. So your emotions when you do it are very important not to escalate the situation. Maybe pull out a toy to get him focused on that. Distraction. Doesn't sound like he wants top hurt etc which is good but we don't want that.

" I sometimes worry that there is something wrong with him due to his non stop meowing" - Hmmmmm, we'll keep an eye out but I am guessing he wants his freedom (either out of the room or off the harness). But let's look for other signs. There would be issues all the time not just in certain instances.

"but I think I'm most likely being over protective." - Ok but we'll keep a watch.

"On a side note, which might be too much information, last night Fluffy was having litter box issues, which required me to clean his bum for a good half hour (long haired cats problems). " - No, not too much info. At my age I have seen and gone through it all. Was it "normal" or was it looser or different than normal?

"While he was crying and screaming and hissing at me" - Yes, it is actually really good he wasn't biting and scratching. It is hard to do. Thanks to rubysmama for the link!!!

"Sapphire came over and just sat by his gate the whole time." - Awwwwwwwwwwwww. She cared. That is really a good sign!!!

"I doubt it meant anything" - Disagree, I think it meant a lot. There is bonding. She was worried. It is a big deal and a positive in my eyes.

" but in my mind I thought it was nice that his big sister was coming over to keep him company while he was in pain." - ABSOLUTELY!!! TOTALLY AGREE!!!

"Sorry for the TMI" - Oh my, it is ok. Sometimes we have to mention things like that. Please do not worry.

Sounds great. Just keep it up. Maybe we are starting to see the signs. We just need to keep repeating them.

Great job, keep up the great work.

I did take two additional videos. I'm not sure when I did but it was most likely the other day before the other stuff happened and I forgot about them until now so I will post the links.

Tonight they did have a treat about a foot or so away from eachother with no issues other than a small hiss from Sapphire and then she jumped up on the chair before deciding she wanted to go back up on the top of her cat tree where she just watched Fluffy walk around and start chewing on a scratch pad that was at the trees base. I lured her upstairs to her room after that so Fluffy could have some time out off of his harness before bed time (she used to go up there to hide all the time so it was easier to have Fluffy out but since she's more comfortable now it usually takes a treat or two to get her in there in the evening). Fluffy then began to run around before settling in by the window.

Uneventful but small progress!

 

[rubysmama]

Thank you for the article! And I may try the carrier in the car thing I just need to find my second carrier!

It's worth a shot, and might help. And, just thinking here, and keeping in mind I've never introduced cats myself, but I wonder if you do take them out in the car, if you should try opening both their carriers and letting them out, once you're just inside the house, so that they're on equal ground when they come home. Of course, see what their temperament is like both in the car, and back in the house. If one seems agitated, then not a good idea. Anyway, just putting my thoughts out there. Maybe C calicosrspecial , you might have a thought or two on this idea.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I did take two additional videos. I'm not sure when I did but it was most likely the other day before the other stuff happened and I forgot about them until now so I will post the links.

Tonight they did have a treat about a foot or so away from eachother with no issues other than a small hiss from Sapphire and then she jumped up on the chair before deciding she wanted to go back up on the top of her cat tree where she just watched Fluffy walk around and start chewing on a scratch pad that was at the trees base. I lured her upstairs to her room after that so Fluffy could have some time out off of his harness before bed time (she used to go up there to hide all the time so it was easier to have Fluffy out but since she's more comfortable now it usually takes a treat or two to get her in there in the evening). Fluffy then began to run around before settling in by the window.

Uneventful but small progress!

"I did take two additional videos. I'm not sure when I did but it was most likely the other day before the other stuff happened and I forgot about them until now so I will post the links." - Great. Here is my take.

Video Harness #2 - AWESOME!!! Body language looks great. Sapphire looks calm, confident, comes closer. Fluffy SO WANTS to play with her. GREAT job reassuring them. Fantastic.

Video Harness #3 - Great. Body language looks good. He so wants to play with her. :/ She isn't ready yet but looks great. Overall, exactly what we want to see.

"Tonight they did have a treat about a foot or so away from eachother with no issues" - WOW!!!

"other than a small hiss from Sapphire" - Hissing is just communication so if it is respected then it is totally fine. In fact, if it stops an escalation or something negative from happening it is a positive.

"and then she jumped up on the chair before deciding she wanted to go back up on the top of her cat tree" - Totally fine. Height = confidence. And confidence is what we want in her.

" where she just watched Fluffy walk around and start chewing on a scratch pad that was at the trees base." - Perfect!! Anytime she is watching and he is not focused on her in a negative way it is positive.

" I lured her upstairs to her room after that so Fluffy could have some time out off of his harness before bed time" - Great

" (she used to go up there to hide all the time so it was easier to have Fluffy out but since she's more comfortable now it usually takes a treat or two to get her in there in the evening)." - Hahahahaha, that is actually really positive. If she didn;t trust him somewhat she would be going up there to get away from him and "be safe".

" Fluffy then began to run around before settling in by the window." - Perfect. He has a lot of energy so it is great to get him to burn some off.

"Uneventful" - We like that!!

" but small progress! " - Totally agree!!

I suspect when we go face to face no harness (we are not there yet) we are going to have to have him a bit tired and hungry and stay short. He is going to want to play with her. It seems he can't wait. He seems to love her.

Exciting, great work!!

On the car trip etc. I have not utilized that in my intros so I can't really add much sadly. Logically it makes sense. But I just can;t say one way or another since I have never done that. :/ Sorry, wish I had some insight on it.

 

[Graham18]

"I did take two additional videos. I'm not sure when I did but it was most likely the other day before the other stuff happened and I forgot about them until now so I will post the links." - Great. Here is my take.

Video Harness #2 - AWESOME!!! Body language looks great. Sapphire looks calm, confident, comes closer. Fluffy SO WANTS to play with her. GREAT job reassuring them. Fantastic.

Video Harness #3 - Great. Body language looks good. He so wants to play with her. :/ She isn't ready yet but looks great. Overall, exactly what we want to see.

"Tonight they did have a treat about a foot or so away from eachother with no issues" - WOW!!!

"other than a small hiss from Sapphire" - Hissing is just communication so if it is respected then it is totally fine. In fact, if it stops an escalation or something negative from happening it is a positive.

"and then she jumped up on the chair before deciding she wanted to go back up on the top of her cat tree" - Totally fine. Height = confidence. And confidence is what we want in her.

" where she just watched Fluffy walk around and start chewing on a scratch pad that was at the trees base." - Perfect!! Anytime she is watching and he is not focused on her in a negative way it is positive.

" I lured her upstairs to her room after that so Fluffy could have some time out off of his harness before bed time" - Great

" (she used to go up there to hide all the time so it was easier to have Fluffy out but since she's more comfortable now it usually takes a treat or two to get her in there in the evening)." - Hahahahaha, that is actually really positive. If she didn;t trust him somewhat she would be going up there to get away from him and "be safe".

" Fluffy then began to run around before settling in by the window." - Perfect. He has a lot of energy so it is great to get him to burn some off.

"Uneventful" - We like that!!

" but small progress! " - Totally agree!!

I suspect when we go face to face no harness (we are not there yet) we are going to have to have him a bit tired and hungry and stay short. He is going to want to play with her. It seems he can't wait. He seems to love her.

Exciting, great work!!

On the car trip etc. I have not utilized that in my intros so I can't really add much sadly. Logically it makes sense. But I just can;t say one way or another since I have never done that. :/ Sorry, wish I had some insight on it.

He loves her and wants to play with her so badly. He gets so happy when he sees her and will lay by his gate waiting for her to come visit him hahaha.

As for tiring him out, I don't even know if that's possible. I've tried playing with him in the past to try and tire him out and he just seems to get more excited the more that he plays. He will be panting and still ready to chase the jingly ball hahaha.

Didn't bring him out last night, just gave them treats at the baby gates. No problems there. Sapphire doesn't hiss or growl anymore. If he's trying to play paws with her she'll just give him a quick wack without a hiss or growl.

I brought him out this morning and gave them treats together. I let him try and move a bit closer to her while I still had control and there wasn't an attempted lunge (I was using treats to distract when I could see his tail start thrashing). Sapphire was hissing a bit and growling at him but she would stop for treats as well. This morning she didn't jump up on her chair though! She moved a bit further away from him and laid down (growling included haha). He's now up on his window perch and Sapphire is across the room resting on top of her tree.

 

[calicosrspecial]

He loves her and wants to play with her so badly. He gets so happy when he sees her and will lay by his gate waiting for her to come visit him hahaha.

As for tiring him out, I don't even know if that's possible. I've tried playing with him in the past to try and tire him out and he just seems to get more excited the more that he plays. He will be panting and still ready to chase the jingly ball hahaha.

Didn't bring him out last night, just gave them treats at the baby gates. No problems there. Sapphire doesn't hiss or growl anymore. If he's trying to play paws with her she'll just give him a quick wack without a hiss or growl.

I brought him out this morning and gave them treats together. I let him try and move a bit closer to her while I still had control and there wasn't an attempted lunge (I was using treats to distract when I could see his tail start thrashing). Sapphire was hissing a bit and growling at him but she would stop for treats as well. This morning she didn't jump up on her chair though! She moved a bit further away from him and laid down (growling included haha). He's now up on his window perch and Sapphire is across the room resting on top of her tree.

"He loves her and wants to play with her so badly. He gets so happy when he sees her and will lay by his gate waiting for her to come visit him hahaha." - Awwwwwwwwww, yep, they are going to be just fine. The resident cat usually always has the tougher time accepting since it is their territory that has to be shared. We get her there, a lot of progress already.

"As for tiring him out, I don't even know if that's possible." - Yep, agreed. :/ She'll have to teach him manners.

" I've tried playing with him in the past to try and tire him out and he just seems to get more excited the more that he plays. He will be panting and still ready to chase the jingly ball hahaha." - Hahahaha, yep. SO COMMON.

"Didn't bring him out last night, just gave them treats at the baby gates." - That is fine.

" No problems there. Sapphire doesn't hiss or growl anymore." - Great

" If he's trying to play paws with her she'll just give him a quick wack without a hiss or growl." - Yep, probably teaching him manners.

"I brought him out this morning and gave them treats together. I let him try and move a bit closer to her while I still had control and there wasn't an attempted lunge (I was using treats to distract when I could see his tail start thrashing)." - Great

" Sapphire was hissing a bit and growling at him" - That is fine, just her telling him to "watch it".

" but she would stop for treats as well." - Perfect, doesn't mean she is that scared, etc.

"This morning she didn't jump up on her chair though! She moved a bit further away from him and laid down (growling included haha)." - Interesting.

" He's now up on his window perch and Sapphire is across the room resting on top of her tree." - Perfect!!! Anytime they are near each other and nothing negative is happening (or if they are enjoying themselves) it is positive. Sounds great!!

Keep up the great work. Right on track.

 

[Graham18]

Here is a picture of them this morning. Nothing new going on. Fluffy will usually just walk around for a bit and lay down and watch Sapphire. This morning there was a squirrel outside and he loves squirrels so once he saw that he was enjoying it over her.

Tried picking him up and holding him about two feet away from her. She lets out a high pitched meow/trill (similar to when she's watching birds), but if he reaches out a paw to try and touch her she gets angry and growls/swats at him. Nothing new but getting there.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Here is a picture of them this morning. Nothing new going on. Fluffy will usually just walk around for a bit and lay down and watch Sapphire. This morning there was a squirrel outside and he loves squirrels so once he saw that he was enjoying it over her.

Tried picking him up and holding him about two feet away from her. She lets out a high pitched meow/trill (similar to when she's watching birds), but if he reaches out a paw to try and touch her she gets angry and growls/swats at him. Nothing new but getting there.

View attachment 387518

"Here is a picture of them this morning. Nothing new going on." - Great

" Fluffy will usually just walk around for a bit and lay down and watch Sapphire." - Awwwwwwww. LOVE the picture. She looks great. He so wants to be with her it seems.

"This morning there was a squirrel outside and he loves squirrels so once he saw that he was enjoying it over her." - Hahahahaha, well, it makes sense. Squirrels to a cat tend to be more interesting than another cat they always see. BUT THAT is great that he shows her that he is "not always focused on her" and anytime a cat looks away it is a sign of trust (because no cat would look away from a potential threat.

"Tried picking him up and holding him about two feet away from her." - Yeah, well, I tend to let the other cat approach (so I hang out with them, sit with them, etc). Since cats like to do things on their terms I tend to let them chose.

" She lets out a high pitched meow/trill" - Yes, that is normal. Just a "don't try anything" sound.

" (similar to when she's watching birds)," - Interesting. That is usually an excitement sound. Are you sure they were the same? There is a lot of nuance.

"but if he reaches out a paw to try and touch her she gets angry and growls/swats at him. " - Yes, normal and if that is all it is it is not an issue. Her telling him to "watch it", not try anything. And if he respects that GREAT!!!

"Nothing new but getting there." Absolutely. But every day like this builds trust, confidence therefore acceptance.

It is like if you walk by a shady character somewhere. The first time it is kinda scary (you don't know them). The shady person doesn't do anything. And day after day the same thing. After a while you may not even see the shady character because you didn't have a negative encounter before so you trust and accept the person being there (and they aren't really shady probably!!).

Maybe not the greatest analogy but cats are very much like humans so trying to put it into human terms maybe it helps get us thinking "cat".

The picture is wonderful!! It builds trust even if we don't really see it.

They are going to be just fine. It just is a process that takes a bit of time. I have no fear of failure with them.

Keep up the great work and just enjoy them and life in general. They know they found the golden ticket sharing your home with you.

 

[Graham18]

"Here is a picture of them this morning. Nothing new going on." - Great

" Fluffy will usually just walk around for a bit and lay down and watch Sapphire." - Awwwwwwww. LOVE the picture. She looks great. He so wants to be with her it seems.

"This morning there was a squirrel outside and he loves squirrels so once he saw that he was enjoying it over her." - Hahahahaha, well, it makes sense. Squirrels to a cat tend to be more interesting than another cat they always see. BUT THAT is great that he shows her that he is "not always focused on her" and anytime a cat looks away it is a sign of trust (because no cat would look away from a potential threat.

"Tried picking him up and holding him about two feet away from her." - Yeah, well, I tend to let the other cat approach (so I hang out with them, sit with them, etc). Since cats like to do things on their terms I tend to let them chose.

" She lets out a high pitched meow/trill" - Yes, that is normal. Just a "don't try anything" sound.

" (similar to when she's watching birds)," - Interesting. That is usually an excitement sound. Are you sure they were the same? There is a lot of nuance.

"but if he reaches out a paw to try and touch her she gets angry and growls/swats at him. " - Yes, normal and if that is all it is it is not an issue. Her telling him to "watch it", not try anything. And if he respects that GREAT!!!

"Nothing new but getting there." Absolutely. But every day like this builds trust, confidence therefore acceptance.

It is like if you walk by a shady character somewhere. The first time it is kinda scary (you don't know them). The shady person doesn't do anything. And day after day the same thing. After a while you may not even see the shady character because you didn't have a negative encounter before so you trust and accept the person being there (and they aren't really shady probably!!).

Maybe not the greatest analogy but cats are very much like humans so trying to put it into human terms maybe it helps get us thinking "cat".

The picture is wonderful!! It builds trust even if we don't really see it.

They are going to be just fine. It just is a process that takes a bit of time. I have no fear of failure with them.

Keep up the great work and just enjoy them and life in general. They know they found the golden ticket sharing your home with you.

It's definitely tough to tell her sounds apart haha it's a very similar sound for sure. One may be more high pitched than the other but very difficult to tell a difference.

One thing I want to add that happened after I made the post. Fluffy was up on the back of the couch watching the squirrel and Sapphire came down and was sitting on the floor at the base of the couch watching him. He didn't notice because of the squirrel but I had to pay close attention because he would have definitely tried to play/jump on her had he seen her right below him.

 

[calicosrspecial]

It's definitely tough to tell her sounds apart haha it's a very similar sound for sure. One may be more high pitched than the other but very difficult to tell a difference.

One thing I want to add that happened after I made the post. Fluffy was up on the back of the couch watching the squirrel and Sapphire came down and was sitting on the floor at the base of the couch watching him. He didn't notice because of the squirrel but I had to pay close attention because he would have definitely tried to play/jump on her had he seen her right below him.

"It's definitely tough to tell her sounds apart haha it's a very similar sound for sure." - Very hard sadly. :/ That is why we look at the body language of both cats, the response to the sounds, how they act after to get a better sense.

"One may be more high pitched than the other but very difficult to tell a difference." - Yes

"One thing I want to add that happened after I made the post. Fluffy was up on the back of the couch watching the squirrel and Sapphire came down and was sitting on the floor at the base of the couch watching him." - WOW!!! THAT is impressive and a great sign that she felt comfortable enough to not only go towards him BUT also be below him. Pretty impressive!!

"He didn't notice because of the squirrel" - GREAT!!! Tells her he is more interested in something other than her. LOVE IT!! That helps her build trust.

" but I had to pay close attention because he would have definitely tried to play/jump on her had he seen her right below him." _ Absolutely!!! BUT if he wanted to eliminate her (real problems) he would not have been focused on the squirrel. They are aware of what is going on around them if they don't trust and/or fear the other cat. The fact he didn't tells me he is not at all afraid of her (which is obviously positive). Getting her to trust at the same level is our goal and with interactions like these we will get there!!

Awesome!!! This is a big deal and a great sign!!

 

[Graham18]

Another small update (I'm sorry for all the updates haha). They did manage to get a bit closer tonight with just some high pitched growling from sapphire (stopped with treats) and no issues from Fluffy other than him wanting to get closer but I didn't see the normal tail thrashing or getting ready to pounce. I did take some pictures but they aren't great quality as I wanted to make sure I could get treats if needed so I mostly just caught them mid slight move.

Two more interesting things happened. After the pictures were taken I didn't want to risk an escalation so I brought Fluffy to his perch and Sapphire moved to a spot she could see him. He jumped down and I thought he would go to her but instead walked into the dining room and again Sapphire followed still keeping her distance but seemed interested. As I was trying to lure Sapphire away with a treat and simultaneously lure Fluffy to his room, Fluffy went for Sapphires treat and they bumped into eachother. After a second or so sapphire backed up slightly and gave a small hiss and then Fluffy sat for a second before going to his treat. Once I got him back into his room for play time, Sapphire kept coming to the gate either to paw and hiss at him or just sit before she would start running around the house with zoomies.

 

[rubysmama]

That last update sounds pretty pawsitive.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Another small update (I'm sorry for all the updates haha). They did manage to get a bit closer tonight with just some high pitched growling from sapphire (stopped with treats) and no issues from Fluffy other than him wanting to get closer but I didn't see the normal tail thrashing or getting ready to pounce. I did take some pictures but they aren't great quality as I wanted to make sure I could get treats if needed so I mostly just caught them mid slight move.
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Two more interesting things happened. After the pictures were taken I didn't want to risk an escalation so I brought Fluffy to his perch and Sapphire moved to a spot she could see him. He jumped down and I thought he would go to her but instead walked into the dining room and again Sapphire followed still keeping her distance but seemed interested. As I was trying to lure Sapphire away with a treat and simultaneously lure Fluffy to his room, Fluffy went for Sapphires treat and they bumped into eachother. After a second or so sapphire backed up slightly and gave a small hiss and then Fluffy sat for a second before going to his treat. Once I got him back into his room for play time, Sapphire kept coming to the gate either to paw and hiss at him or just sit before she would start running around the house with zoomies.

"Another small update (I'm sorry for all the updates haha)." - No reason to apologize. Updates help us understand where things are. More info the better.

"They did manage to get a bit closer tonight" - Great

" with just some high pitched growling from sapphire" - That is fine and if it stops at that (no escalation) it is positive.

"(stopped with treats)" - LOVE IT!!! A great sign that her fear is not that great. So it is more of a warning to him to not try anything

"and no issues from Fluffy other than him wanting to get closer" - Awwwww, what a sweetie. He has no issues with her it seems. Just wants to play.

"but I didn't see the normal tail thrashing or getting ready to pounce." - Great, maybe she is teaching him "manners".

" I did take some pictures but they aren't great quality as I wanted to make sure I could get treats if needed so I mostly just caught them mid slight move." -Pics look great. Great body language. My goodness they are gorgeous!!

"Two more interesting things happened. After the pictures were taken I didn't want to risk an escalation" - Excellent

" so I brought Fluffy to his perch and Sapphire moved to a spot she could see him. He jumped down and I thought he would go to her but instead walked into the dining room" - EXACTLY what we want to see. Shows her he isn't always wanting to "bother" her. Love it!!

" and again Sapphire followed still keeping her distance but seemed interested. " - Awwwwww, not something they do when there are issues.

"As I was trying to lure Sapphire away with a treat and simultaneously lure Fluffy to his room, Fluffy went for Sapphires treat and they bumped into eachother." - Awwwwwwww

" After a second or so sapphire backed up slightly and gave a small hiss" - Yep normal. BUT sounds like she didn't run which is GREAT.

"and then Fluffy sat for a second before going to his treat." - Showing her respect. BIG DEAL!! That helps her trust and accept so much.

"Once I got him back into his room for play time, Sapphire kept coming to the gate either to paw and hiss at him or just sit" - Awwwwwwwwww, yep, she is coming around.

" before she would start running around the house with zoomies." - Hehehehehe, I wonder if she is starting to think about playing with him.

Yep, they are going to be just fine. Keep up the great work!!

 

[Graham18]

"Another small update (I'm sorry for all the updates haha)." - No reason to apologize. Updates help us understand where things are. More info the better.

"They did manage to get a bit closer tonight" - Great

" with just some high pitched growling from sapphire" - That is fine and if it stops at that (no escalation) it is positive.

"(stopped with treats)" - LOVE IT!!! A great sign that her fear is not that great. So it is more of a warning to him to not try anything

"and no issues from Fluffy other than him wanting to get closer" - Awwwww, what a sweetie. He has no issues with her it seems. Just wants to play.

"but I didn't see the normal tail thrashing or getting ready to pounce." - Great, maybe she is teaching him "manners".

" I did take some pictures but they aren't great quality as I wanted to make sure I could get treats if needed so I mostly just caught them mid slight move." -Pics look great. Great body language. My goodness they are gorgeous!!

"Two more interesting things happened. After the pictures were taken I didn't want to risk an escalation" - Excellent

" so I brought Fluffy to his perch and Sapphire moved to a spot she could see him. He jumped down and I thought he would go to her but instead walked into the dining room" - EXACTLY what we want to see. Shows her he isn't always wanting to "bother" her. Love it!!

" and again Sapphire followed still keeping her distance but seemed interested. " - Awwwwww, not something they do when there are issues.

"As I was trying to lure Sapphire away with a treat and simultaneously lure Fluffy to his room, Fluffy went for Sapphires treat and they bumped into eachother." - Awwwwwwww

" After a second or so sapphire backed up slightly and gave a small hiss" - Yep normal. BUT sounds like she didn't run which is GREAT.

"and then Fluffy sat for a second before going to his treat." - Showing her respect. BIG DEAL!! That helps her trust and accept so much.

"Once I got him back into his room for play time, Sapphire kept coming to the gate either to paw and hiss at him or just sit" - Awwwwwwwwww, yep, she is coming around.

" before she would start running around the house with zoomies." - Hehehehehe, I wonder if she is starting to think about playing with him.

Yep, they are going to be just fine. Keep up the great work!!

I may have to pause the introductions temporarily. Fluffy had a bit of discharge coming from his eye this morning so I took him to the vet and was given antibiotic eye drops as she said he has a bit of an infection but she also mentioned something about an upper respiratory infection but I don't know if she said he had one or he could get one and I was getting confused by everything she was saying. I'm going to call back in the morning and find out for sure.

 

[Furmama22]

I may have to pause the introductions temporarily. Fluffy had a bit of discharge coming from his eye this morning so I took him to the vet and was given antibiotic eye drops as she said he has a bit of an infection but she also mentioned something about an upper respiratory infection but I don't know if she said he had one or he could get one and I was getting confused by everything she was saying. I'm going to call back in the morning and find out for sure.

Oh no!! I hope it all works out! Sometimes stress can lower their immune system and allow the virus to flare up. Florence had an upper respiratory infection flare-up when we first adopted her. I hope Fluffy is ok!

 

[Graham18]

Oh no!! I hope it all works out! Sometimes stress can lower their immune system and allow the virus to flare up. Florence had an upper respiratory infection flare-up when we first adopted her. I hope Fluffy is ok!

He generally seems fine, thank you for the concern no issues other than a runny eye so just some eye drops twice a day.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I may have to pause the introductions temporarily. Fluffy had a bit of discharge coming from his eye this morning so I took him to the vet and was given antibiotic eye drops as she said he has a bit of an infection but she also mentioned something about an upper respiratory infection but I don't know if she said he had one or he could get one and I was getting confused by everything she was saying. I'm going to call back in the morning and find out for sure.

"I may have to pause the introductions temporarily. Fluffy had a bit of discharge coming from his eye this morning so I took him to the vet and was given antibiotic eye drops as she said he has a bit of an infection" - Awwwwwwww, poor guy. Not a problem at all to pause the intro. They will be fine when we resume the process.

" but she also mentioned something about an upper respiratory infection but I don't know if she said he had one or he could get one and I was getting confused by everything she was saying. I'm going to call back in the morning and find out for sure." - Ok. I am sure it isn't too bad and can be handled whatever it may be. Just keep us up.

"He generally seems fine, thank you for the concern no issues other than a runny eye so just some eye drops twice a day." - That is good. Maybe he scratched his eye and got something in it. Let's hope the drops work.

On the intros, don't worry, a pause will not be an issue. Hang in there and get well soon Fluffy!!!