Help/Advice for introductions

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Graham18

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"I believe the part of me that isn't fully convinced Fluffy isn't be aggressive stems from how different he acts when he's playing with toys vs being around Sapphire." - Ok, let's see.

" He's very obviously excited when he is playing or wants to play and is very talkative." - Yes, great

" When he's around her, other than the odd tail thrash, he doesn't act excited." - OK, probably him trying to be diplomatic and show her he isn't a threat.

" I thought it may have just been the harness but after having that thought I've noticed he's the same way when he's behind the gates." - Yes, I would guess it is him trying to "behave" as much as he can.

" If she comes near them or even a few feet away, he'll stop whatever he is doing and either just lay/sit there silent staring at her," - Awwwwwwwwww.

" or he'll pace back and forth against the gate." - He may be a bit frustrated he can't play with her.

I am not seeing those reasons as anything negative or concerning etc. In fact, I think that is really good of him.

"This morning Fluffy tried to instigate playing by pawing at Sapphire" - Awwwwwwwwww

" and she starts hitting him and growling as usual but didn't run away." - Yes but great she didn't run. There is trust building.

" I kept Fluffy out on his harness for about half an hour looking out the window behind my couch." - Ok

" At one point Sapphire did come over on the floor nearby to watch him" - WHOA. So he was off his leash with her around?

" and I held him to make sure he wouldn't try and jump on her." - Ok. He didn't "fight" to get out of your arms? If so that is really good.

"Before I brought Fluffy upstairs to my bedroom for the morning I let him go see his sister on the floor again. He was fairly calm but then I noticed him starting to raise his butt a little before he tried to pounce again (to no luck because of his harness)." - Ok, good. SO he was on the harness. Yes, I am sure he wanted to play with her.

"Again Sapphire kind of just backed up a little and wrapped her tail around herself as she sat and growled but didn't run away." - GREAT!!!

" She did follow upstairs after I brought him up there and just sat in her room across the hall watching him." - Awwwwww, yes, she is doing great. She doesn't seem bothered to much by him wanting to play.

"I'm still more convinced that Fluffy is trying to play more than trying to be aggressive " - Totally agree

"but I'm just not sure and I'm worried that it's not going to really stop and then lead to an escalation." - Understandable. I don't get a sense he would intentionally hurt her but she has to believe that and trust it so it doesn't escalate from her side. She is getting there just not yet. But she will.

"The behaviour department at the rescue where I got both of them has assured me that both behaviours are normal for young male and female cats" - Totally agree

" and has told me that I can try letting the small spats and tussles play out in a supervised and controlled manner." - Well, this is where it is more art than science. There are many ways to success. Your rescue and ArtNJ tend to be on that side, I tend to be on the other (only letting them tussle when I am sure they are past any risk point). The difficult part is the "controlled" part. The more trust and confidence they have the less likely it escalates. There will be "spats and tussles" probably at times all through their lives together (not often and not serious) so it is just part of multiple at houses but with trust and respect they work out just fine. We just need to get a bit more trust and respect. A lot is already there we just need a bit more. And we will get it.

"I definitely don't think that they or myself are ready" - I agree but that is my style.

" but I'm worried that with how close they were getting a few days ago to Fluffy now feeling that Sapphire will play with him, that things aren't going to change from this point. " - I wouldn't worry about that. I actually don't have any worries (other than length of time it takes and that isn't really a worry). All indications are they are going to be just fine. He is doing great, she is coming along really nicely building trust and confidence. Just keep doing what you are doing. I think we are pretty close to doing a face to face no restraint. Not there yet but I think we are really close.

Try not to worry, just enjoy the cats, enjoy life and keep up the great work. I really am not worried in the least.
I definitely wouldn't let him be with her without his harness yet even with supervision, especially with how mischievous he's been these last two days. When referring to letting them figure it out, I was more so thinking when they are pawing at eachother when he's under control of the harness and leash. I guess I've already been taking this approach to a small extent by letting him move closer and closer to her when he's calm. I just have to be more cautious because more times than not he won't give any indication he's about to jump.

I gave them a break from the treat introductions tonight as Sapphire was seeming somewhat anxious today, hiding under the bed, eating very little of her kibble, etc (she's better now). I brought him out on his harness to look out the window and wander around while Sapphire laid up top of her cat tree watching so no issues.
 

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It sounds like you've got a good plan for how to continue the introductions. It would be great if it was going more quickly, but slow and steady is probably the best way with Sapphire and Fluffy. Hopefully, someday (soon even) they'll be besties. :catrub:
 
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It sounds like you've got a good plan for how to continue the introductions. It would be great if it was going more quickly, but slow and steady is probably the best way with Sapphire and Fluffy. Hopefully, someday (soon even) they'll be besties. :catrub:
I hope so :yess:
 
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I took two videos. One is a bit longer and it's just the cats sitting a few feet from eachother with no issues. The second is shorter but shows Fluffy going in to paw at Sapphire. He's walking in almost a trying to make himself look bigger way (which he usually doesn't do), but it could also be from the harness as he's not fully used to walking in it yet.

Sapphire and Fluffy 6
Sapphire and Fluffy Harness 7
 
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I want to add that after I brought Fluffy back to his room, Sapphire was fine and was running around and coming to his gate. I did think about bringing Fluffy out again but he decided to be extra mischievous this morning and was attacking my arm and hands (he didn't pierce skin as he usually just bites hard but not that hard but did leave some teeth marks). I decided it was best to bring him upstairs to my room and let him chill out.
 

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I definitely wouldn't let him be with her without his harness yet even with supervision, especially with how mischievous he's been these last two days. When referring to letting them figure it out, I was more so thinking when they are pawing at eachother when he's under control of the harness and leash. I guess I've already been taking this approach to a small extent by letting him move closer and closer to her when he's calm. I just have to be more cautious because more times than not he won't give any indication he's about to jump.

I gave them a break from the treat introductions tonight as Sapphire was seeming somewhat anxious today, hiding under the bed, eating very little of her kibble, etc (she's better now). I brought him out on his harness to look out the window and wander around while Sapphire laid up top of her cat tree watching so no issues.
"I definitely wouldn't let him be with her without his harness yet even with supervision," - Great, I think that is the right thing to do.

" especially with how mischievous he's been these last two days." - Hahahaha

" When referring to letting them figure it out, I was more so thinking when they are pawing at eachother when he's under control of the harness and leash." - Ahhhhhh, ok. What I do is try to distract them and IF I can get them to look at me and stop for a second and look away from the other cat I think that is a success.

" I guess I've already been taking this approach to a small extent by letting him move closer and closer to her when he's calm." - Yes, now I think that is great as it is positive and builds trust and confidence.

" I just have to be more cautious because more times than not he won't give any indication he's about to jump." - Yes. Try to reassure him, distract him. Talk lovingly, confidently, etc. Try to tamp down the excitement a touch (if at all possible). Words and human emotions can be really good (at times) in getting some of the energy/excitement to calm a bit.

"I gave them a break from the treat introductions tonight" - Ok

" as Sapphire was seeming somewhat anxious today, hiding under the bed, eating very little of her kibble, etc" - Any idea why she was like this?

" (she's better now). " - Great

"I brought him out on his harness to look out the window and wander around while Sapphire laid up top of her cat tree watching so no issues." - Great. Probably not him then.

"I took two videos." - Great. Let's take a look.

"One is a bit longer and it's just the cats sitting a few feet from eachother with no issues." - Ok

" The second is shorter but shows Fluffy going in to paw at Sapphire. He's walking in almost a trying to make himself look bigger way (which he usually doesn't do), but it could also be from the harness as he's not fully used to walking in it yet." - Ok, I will take a look and we can discuss.

Video #6 - Looks good. Fluffy is all excited, Sapphire a bit unsure at the beginning (very minor) and then lays down. Good job reassuring ("Good girl"). I LOVE that he briefly looked back at you. I think that helped to ease some unease. Overall, very good. Feel free to keep reassuring (calm, confident, lovingly) and if you feel safe sit down and give some eye kisses or maybe a pet (again only if you are safe. Even position yourself between them (again only if you feel totally safe). But overall, very good.

Video #7 - Well, that I didn't like. He seemed a bit different. I think he was excited but I was surprised by the pawing. BUT I like that she didn't run and when you reassured he had no issue walking away. So it wasn't "after" her. But it just had a different vibe to it, not sure what I would call it. Not really play it seemed but not serious either. BUT what I would do is reassure them, try to diffuse the situation, so when you see him get a bit "funny" try to reassure, distract, etc. I don't do harness training so am not an expert on it but I wonder if the restraint might be a touch frustrating for him and that is why he was a bit "different" than I would have expected. Not sure. Either way, it wasn't a big deal. How did she act after this video? I am interested to see what she thought of the encounter.

"I want to add that after I brought Fluffy back to his room, Sapphire was fine and was running around and coming to his gate." - Ok, I think that answers my question. This was after Video 7?

"I did think about bringing Fluffy out again but he decided to be extra mischievous this morning and was attacking my arm and hands (he didn't pierce skin as he usually just bites hard but not that hard but did leave some teeth marks). " - Yes, best you didn't bring him out. Sounds like he has pent up energy. If you have time pull out a toy and see if you can get him playing.

In the room he is in does he have a cat tree by the window or a window perch he can look out?

"I decided it was best to bring him upstairs to my room and let him chill out." - Ok. If you can get him to play if you have time that would be great then after give him some treats.

Not sure if you own or rent or if you are amiable to this but cat shelving can not only look good but also give cats a lot of options and some fun exercise. Something to think about as we look forward to getting them face to face etc.
 
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"I definitely wouldn't let him be with her without his harness yet even with supervision," - Great, I think that is the right thing to do.

" especially with how mischievous he's been these last two days." - Hahahaha

" When referring to letting them figure it out, I was more so thinking when they are pawing at eachother when he's under control of the harness and leash." - Ahhhhhh, ok. What I do is try to distract them and IF I can get them to look at me and stop for a second and look away from the other cat I think that is a success.

" I guess I've already been taking this approach to a small extent by letting him move closer and closer to her when he's calm." - Yes, now I think that is great as it is positive and builds trust and confidence.

" I just have to be more cautious because more times than not he won't give any indication he's about to jump." - Yes. Try to reassure him, distract him. Talk lovingly, confidently, etc. Try to tamp down the excitement a touch (if at all possible). Words and human emotions can be really good (at times) in getting some of the energy/excitement to calm a bit.

"I gave them a break from the treat introductions tonight" - Ok

" as Sapphire was seeming somewhat anxious today, hiding under the bed, eating very little of her kibble, etc" - Any idea why she was like this?

" (she's better now). " - Great

"I brought him out on his harness to look out the window and wander around while Sapphire laid up top of her cat tree watching so no issues." - Great. Probably not him then.

"I took two videos." - Great. Let's take a look.

"One is a bit longer and it's just the cats sitting a few feet from eachother with no issues." - Ok

" The second is shorter but shows Fluffy going in to paw at Sapphire. He's walking in almost a trying to make himself look bigger way (which he usually doesn't do), but it could also be from the harness as he's not fully used to walking in it yet." - Ok, I will take a look and we can discuss.

Video #6 - Looks good. Fluffy is all excited, Sapphire a bit unsure at the beginning (very minor) and then lays down. Good job reassuring ("Good girl"). I LOVE that he briefly looked back at you. I think that helped to ease some unease. Overall, very good. Feel free to keep reassuring (calm, confident, lovingly) and if you feel safe sit down and give some eye kisses or maybe a pet (again only if you are safe. Even position yourself between them (again only if you feel totally safe). But overall, very good.

Video #7 - Well, that I didn't like. He seemed a bit different. I think he was excited but I was surprised by the pawing. BUT I like that she didn't run and when you reassured he had no issue walking away. So it wasn't "after" her. But it just had a different vibe to it, not sure what I would call it. Not really play it seemed but not serious either. BUT what I would do is reassure them, try to diffuse the situation, so when you see him get a bit "funny" try to reassure, distract, etc. I don't do harness training so am not an expert on it but I wonder if the restraint might be a touch frustrating for him and that is why he was a bit "different" than I would have expected. Not sure. Either way, it wasn't a big deal. How did she act after this video? I am interested to see what she thought of the encounter.

"I want to add that after I brought Fluffy back to his room, Sapphire was fine and was running around and coming to his gate." - Ok, I think that answers my question. This was after Video 7?

"I did think about bringing Fluffy out again but he decided to be extra mischievous this morning and was attacking my arm and hands (he didn't pierce skin as he usually just bites hard but not that hard but did leave some teeth marks). " - Yes, best you didn't bring him out. Sounds like he has pent up energy. If you have time pull out a toy and see if you can get him playing.

In the room he is in does he have a cat tree by the window or a window perch he can look out?

"I decided it was best to bring him upstairs to my room and let him chill out." - Ok. If you can get him to play if you have time that would be great then after give him some treats.

Not sure if you own or rent or if you are amiable to this but cat shelving can not only look good but also give cats a lot of options and some fun exercise. Something to think about as we look forward to getting them face to face etc.
It could very well be his harness that's getting him frustrated or just the fact he wants to play with her and can't get to her. I'm not really that sure as he's just been acting like this since Saturday. I'm sure you can now see my confusion over whether he's being aggressive or simply trying to play (possibly a bit rough).

I usually do try and play with him before and afterwards. This morning he really didn't want to play after, he just wanted to lay at his gate waiting for Sapphire to come see him.

Unfortunately "his" room downstairs doesn't have a window (I have a window to go in but I'm still trying to get quotes and find out if it's even the correct window). My bedroom upstairs where he goes during the day has a tall narrow window that I put a chair in front of so he can look out if he wants. He's also not a very vertical cat and doesn't seem to jump up on things. He's never gone on either cat tree and there is also a desk in his room beside the bed and he never goes on it. I do own the house so installing new things is totally possible.

As I mentioned, I'm having a hard time deciphering his behaviour especially since he was being very calm until a few days ago. One thing that I was thinking was that since Sapphire isn't really running away anymore, perhaps he's taking that as she does want to play with him so he is trying to instigate a response from her but I'm not sure. They're both still distractable with treats as you can see he goes to the empty treat bag after he can't go to her. I'm at a loss of what I can do since as soon as I distract he goes straight back to wanting to get closer to her.
 

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It could very well be his harness that's getting him frustrated or just the fact he wants to play with her and can't get to her. I'm not really that sure as he's just been acting like this since Saturday. I'm sure you can now see my confusion over whether he's being aggressive or simply trying to play (possibly a bit rough).

I usually do try and play with him before and afterwards. This morning he really didn't want to play after, he just wanted to lay at his gate waiting for Sapphire to come see him.

Unfortunately "his" room downstairs doesn't have a window (I have a window to go in but I'm still trying to get quotes and find out if it's even the correct window). My bedroom upstairs where he goes during the day has a tall narrow window that I put a chair in front of so he can look out if he wants. He's also not a very vertical cat and doesn't seem to jump up on things. He's never gone on either cat tree and there is also a desk in his room beside the bed and he never goes on it. I do own the house so installing new things is totally possible.

As I mentioned, I'm having a hard time deciphering his behaviour especially since he was being very calm until a few days ago. One thing that I was thinking was that since Sapphire isn't really running away anymore, perhaps he's taking that as she does want to play with him so he is trying to instigate a response from her but I'm not sure. They're both still distractable with treats as you can see he goes to the empty treat bag after he can't go to her. I'm at a loss of what I can do since as soon as I distract he goes straight back to wanting to get closer to her.
"It could very well be his harness that's getting him frustrated or just the fact he wants to play with her and can't get to her." - Yes.

"I'm not really that sure as he's just been acting like this since Saturday." - Hmmmm, sometimes it is just something. Do you have animals outside that come around your place?

"I'm sure you can now see my confusion over whether he's being aggressive or simply trying to play (possibly a bit rough)." - Yes but this is the first time I saw a little difference. The other times it was play and what I read sounds like play. This seemed different but I am not sure it is really aggressive. It is hard to describe, it seems more nuanced.

"I usually do try and play with him before and afterwards." - Great

" This morning he really didn't want to play after, he just wanted to lay at his gate waiting for Sapphire to come see him." - Hmmmm, interesting. What was his body language like? Tense or normal? And if or when she came by how did they act?

"Unfortunately "his" room downstairs doesn't have a window (I have a window to go in but I'm still trying to get quotes and find out if it's even the correct window). " - Ok. Probably will not matter as they will be intro'd soon.

"My bedroom upstairs where he goes during the day has a tall narrow window that I put a chair in front of so he can look out if he wants." - Great. It is pretty comfy?

" He's also not a very vertical cat and doesn't seem to jump up on things. He's never gone on either cat tree and there is also a desk in his room beside the bed and he never goes on it. " - Ok. That actually may help in face to face as she can go high and he may not pursue. We'll see.

"I do own the house so installing new things is totally possible." - Great

"As I mentioned, I'm having a hard time deciphering his behaviour especially since he was being very calm until a few days ago." - Yes.

"One thing that I was thinking was that since Sapphire isn't really running away anymore, perhaps he's taking that as she does want to play with him so he is trying to instigate a response from her but I'm not sure." - Very well could be or he could be a touch intimidated. We'll have to get more observations to see.

"They're both still distractable with treats as you can see he goes to the empty treat bag after he can't go to her." - Great. Yes, that was really cute and a good sign.

" I'm at a loss of what I can do since as soon as I distract he goes straight back to wanting to get closer to her." - Keep doing what you are doing. And maybe step up the words more and see if that works. I think he wants to play with her and get s a bit frustrated. Don't be at a loss, it is just time. We'll see over the next few days how they do. He is a nice good cat and he does seem to really like her so I am not worried. And she is coming along really well. It is just the process. Hang in there. All is going to be fine.
 
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"It could very well be his harness that's getting him frustrated or just the fact he wants to play with her and can't get to her." - Yes.

"I'm not really that sure as he's just been acting like this since Saturday." - Hmmmm, sometimes it is just something. Do you have animals outside that come around your place?

"I'm sure you can now see my confusion over whether he's being aggressive or simply trying to play (possibly a bit rough)." - Yes but this is the first time I saw a little difference. The other times it was play and what I read sounds like play. This seemed different but I am not sure it is really aggressive. It is hard to describe, it seems more nuanced.

"I usually do try and play with him before and afterwards." - Great

" This morning he really didn't want to play after, he just wanted to lay at his gate waiting for Sapphire to come see him." - Hmmmm, interesting. What was his body language like? Tense or normal? And if or when she came by how did they act?

"Unfortunately "his" room downstairs doesn't have a window (I have a window to go in but I'm still trying to get quotes and find out if it's even the correct window). " - Ok. Probably will not matter as they will be intro'd soon.

"My bedroom upstairs where he goes during the day has a tall narrow window that I put a chair in front of so he can look out if he wants." - Great. It is pretty comfy?

" He's also not a very vertical cat and doesn't seem to jump up on things. He's never gone on either cat tree and there is also a desk in his room beside the bed and he never goes on it. " - Ok. That actually may help in face to face as she can go high and he may not pursue. We'll see.

"I do own the house so installing new things is totally possible." - Great

"As I mentioned, I'm having a hard time deciphering his behaviour especially since he was being very calm until a few days ago." - Yes.

"One thing that I was thinking was that since Sapphire isn't really running away anymore, perhaps he's taking that as she does want to play with him so he is trying to instigate a response from her but I'm not sure." - Very well could be or he could be a touch intimidated. We'll have to get more observations to see.

"They're both still distractable with treats as you can see he goes to the empty treat bag after he can't go to her." - Great. Yes, that was really cute and a good sign.

" I'm at a loss of what I can do since as soon as I distract he goes straight back to wanting to get closer to her." - Keep doing what you are doing. And maybe step up the words more and see if that works. I think he wants to play with her and get s a bit frustrated. Don't be at a loss, it is just time. We'll see over the next few days how they do. He is a nice good cat and he does seem to really like her so I am not worried. And she is coming along really well. It is just the process. Hang in there. All is going to be fine.
He did seem a bit more tense than usual but when she came by a sat a few feet away they seemed normal. He just laid by the gate waiting as he always does when she comes close. He was sticking his paw through which does if she gets closer than few feet as if wanting to play with her. He was definitely more tense or possibly stimulated which I could tell from his biting and constantly going after my arm (I had to give him a few minutes time out or I knew that the biting would get to me and make me upset as even though he doesn't break skin he still bites hard and takes a bit to let go).

No animals around that I know of. Could it be something to do with his eye infection? There hasn't been any discharge for a few days so it seems to be better. That is the only thing I can think that has changed recently.
 

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He did seem a bit more tense than usual but when she came by a sat a few feet away they seemed normal. He just laid by the gate waiting as he always does when she comes close. He was sticking his paw through which does if she gets closer than few feet as if wanting to play with her. He was definitely more tense or possibly stimulated which I could tell from his biting and constantly going after my arm (I had to give him a few minutes time out or I knew that the biting would get to me and make me upset as even though he doesn't break skin he still bites hard and takes a bit to let go).

No animals around that I know of. Could it be something to do with his eye infection? There hasn't been any discharge for a few days so it seems to be better. That is the only thing I can think that has changed recently.
"He did seem a bit more tense than usual " - Ok. I wonder why.

"but when she came by a sat a few feet away they seemed normal." - Ok, that is great

" He just laid by the gate waiting as he always does when she comes close." - Awwwwwwwwww

" He was sticking his paw through which does if she gets closer than few feet as if wanting to play with her." - Great, he wouldn't be doing that if there were issues (that the pawing in the video was serious).

" He was definitely more tense or possibly stimulated which I could tell from his biting and constantly going after my arm (I had to give him a few minutes time out or I knew that the biting would get to me and make me upset as even though he doesn't break skin he still bites hard and takes a bit to let go)." - Ok. It could be so many things. BUT it is good he calmed down and behaved better.

"No animals around that I know of." - Yes. Sometimes intact ferals can come around and cause some issues.

" Could it be something to do with his eye infection? There hasn't been any discharge for a few days so it seems to be better. That is the only thing I can think that has changed recently." - Could be but if it is getting better probably not. BUT did he get less active when he had it and maybe he is making up for it now? It could be so many different things. Just do all the things you do (play, food, love, etc ) to help him burn off some energy, find confidence, etc. If there were issues it would be constant and persistent. Doesn't sound like that is what is happening which is great.

I am not worried. Just a blip and a minor one at that.
 
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"He did seem a bit more tense than usual " - Ok. I wonder why.

"but when she came by a sat a few feet away they seemed normal." - Ok, that is great

" He just laid by the gate waiting as he always does when she comes close." - Awwwwwwwwww

" He was sticking his paw through which does if she gets closer than few feet as if wanting to play with her." - Great, he wouldn't be doing that if there were issues (that the pawing in the video was serious).

" He was definitely more tense or possibly stimulated which I could tell from his biting and constantly going after my arm (I had to give him a few minutes time out or I knew that the biting would get to me and make me upset as even though he doesn't break skin he still bites hard and takes a bit to let go)." - Ok. It could be so many things. BUT it is good he calmed down and behaved better.

"No animals around that I know of." - Yes. Sometimes intact ferals can come around and cause some issues.

" Could it be something to do with his eye infection? There hasn't been any discharge for a few days so it seems to be better. That is the only thing I can think that has changed recently." - Could be but if it is getting better probably not. BUT did he get less active when he had it and maybe he is making up for it now? It could be so many different things. Just do all the things you do (play, food, love, etc ) to help him burn off some energy, find confidence, etc. If there were issues it would be constant and persistent. Doesn't sound like that is what is happening which is great.

I am not worried. Just a blip and a minor one at that.
The pawing in the video is fairly normal when they're out together, maybe a little more extreme because of the jump before hand. He also tends to be a little less fluid with his movements in the harness. Usually Sapphire is the one who whacks him first and that his response only most of the time he's laying down so it doesn't seem as extreme. Watching the video again I do see that his pawing there is generally what I get with them both when they're together but when there's a gate he usually lays on his side and reachs out as far as he can.
 
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The pawing in the video is fairly normal when they're out together, maybe a little more extreme because of the jump before hand. He also tends to be a little less fluid with his movements in the harness. Usually Sapphire is the one who whacks him first and that his response only most of the time he's laying down so it doesn't seem as extreme. Watching the video again I do see that his pawing there is generally what I get with them both when they're together but when there's a gate he usually lays on his side and reachs out as far as he can.
Actually it is a little more extreme than normal. Unfortunately I don't have any other videos to compare as it's somewhat difficult to take them. I did remember that earlier this morning (about 4 hours earlier around 5:30 am) there was a bit of a thunderstorm and Fluffy is scared of thunder so perhaps that caused it? It doesn't explain the last few days though.
 

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The pawing in the video is fairly normal when they're out together, maybe a little more extreme because of the jump before hand. He also tends to be a little less fluid with his movements in the harness. Usually Sapphire is the one who whacks him first and that his response only most of the time he's laying down so it doesn't seem as extreme. Watching the video again I do see that his pawing there is generally what I get with them both when they're together but when there's a gate he usually lays on his side and reachs out as far as he can.
"The pawing in the video is fairly normal when they're out together, maybe a little more extreme because of the jump before hand. " - Ok. Let's try to distract at that point. See if you can get him focused on a toy, or your voice, or something.

"He also tends to be a little less fluid with his movements in the harness." - That makes sense.

"Usually Sapphire is the one who whacks him first" - Yes, probably teaching manners, boundaries.

" and that his response only most of the time he's laying down so it doesn't seem as extreme." - Yes and laying down is more vulnerable. SO it is good he is less "extreme".

"Watching the video again I do see that his pawing there is generally what I get with them both when they're together" - Ok. Let's try to get it a bit less intense so let's try to distract and if not total at least slow it down a bit. It is not really an issue but I do think if it slows down or stops it will help.

" but when there's a gate he usually lays on his side and reachs out as far as he can." - Ok. And a slower reach is not bad. It is really all about the intensity. So if it is slower it tends to be better.

"Actually it is a little more extreme than normal." - OK, that is good that is is more than normal. Just try to distract, slow it down, calm him a bit. Sometimes they are a bit overstimulated, excited so it can be more "extreme" at times. It is good it is not all the time.

" Unfortunately I don't have any other videos to compare as it's somewhat difficult to take them." - Understandable. Not an issue. We can tell by how they act after as well.

" I did remember that earlier this morning (about 4 hours earlier around 5:30 am) there was a bit of a thunderstorm and Fluffy is scared of thunder so perhaps that caused it?" - Ahhhhh, yes, that can certainly cause unease. Makes sense.

" It doesn't explain the last few days though." - No but he doesn't seem that "off". Does he?

Any change in human emotions the last few days? When we get stressed, anxious etc they can pick up on it and be a bit "off".
 
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"The pawing in the video is fairly normal when they're out together, maybe a little more extreme because of the jump before hand. " - Ok. Let's try to distract at that point. See if you can get him focused on a toy, or your voice, or something.

"He also tends to be a little less fluid with his movements in the harness." - That makes sense.

"Usually Sapphire is the one who whacks him first" - Yes, probably teaching manners, boundaries.

" and that his response only most of the time he's laying down so it doesn't seem as extreme." - Yes and laying down is more vulnerable. SO it is good he is less "extreme".

"Watching the video again I do see that his pawing there is generally what I get with them both when they're together" - Ok. Let's try to get it a bit less intense so let's try to distract and if not total at least slow it down a bit. It is not really an issue but I do think if it slows down or stops it will help.

" but when there's a gate he usually lays on his side and reachs out as far as he can." - Ok. And a slower reach is not bad. It is really all about the intensity. So if it is slower it tends to be better.

"Actually it is a little more extreme than normal." - OK, that is good that is is more than normal. Just try to distract, slow it down, calm him a bit. Sometimes they are a bit overstimulated, excited so it can be more "extreme" at times. It is good it is not all the time.

" Unfortunately I don't have any other videos to compare as it's somewhat difficult to take them." - Understandable. Not an issue. We can tell by how they act after as well.

" I did remember that earlier this morning (about 4 hours earlier around 5:30 am) there was a bit of a thunderstorm and Fluffy is scared of thunder so perhaps that caused it?" - Ahhhhh, yes, that can certainly cause unease. Makes sense.

" It doesn't explain the last few days though." - No but he doesn't seem that "off". Does he?

Any change in human emotions the last few days? When we get stressed, anxious etc they can pick up on it and be a bit "off".
There may have been some stress over the passed few days but not too much.
Last night I just gave them treats together at the gate and they were fine. I have a new mirror in my bathroom resting against the counter and both cats were really enjoying looking at themselves. Sapphire would sit at the gate staring in at the mirror and if Fluffy got in he way she would try to nudge him out of the way so she could see herself haha.
This morning when I brought him out they were calm. No crazy excitement from Fluffy and very minimal hissing from Sapphire so I kept it brief. Fluffy wasn't very playful at all this morning and it seemed like he didn't have a lot of energy even when I was trying to play with him after breakfast. Could be because it's very dark outside (the city has been covered in smoke from wild fires for the last two days).

Overall a calm morning with no issues.
 

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There may have been some stress over the passed few days but not too much.
Last night I just gave them treats together at the gate and they were fine. I have a new mirror in my bathroom resting against the counter and both cats were really enjoying looking at themselves. Sapphire would sit at the gate staring in at the mirror and if Fluffy got in he way she would try to nudge him out of the way so she could see herself haha.
This morning when I brought him out they were calm. No crazy excitement from Fluffy and very minimal hissing from Sapphire so I kept it brief. Fluffy wasn't very playful at all this morning and it seemed like he didn't have a lot of energy even when I was trying to play with him after breakfast. Could be because it's very dark outside (the city has been covered in smoke from wild fires for the last two days).

Overall a calm morning with no issues.
"There may have been some stress over the passed few days but not too much." - Ok. Even a little can cause some issues. As well as any changes. Even little things like different feeing time or play time, or the humans having different hours, etc. The more confident they are the more they can accept change for the most part.

"Last night I just gave them treats together at the gate and they were fine." - Great. Another data point suggesting the pawing wasn't an issue.

"I have a new mirror in my bathroom resting against the counter and both cats were really enjoying looking at themselves." - Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Just be careful it can't get knocked over. Cats are pretty good at finding the "weak link" and causing a problem.

"Sapphire would sit at the gate staring in at the mirror and if Fluffy got in he way she would try to nudge him out of the way so she could see herself haha." - Oh my goodness!!! THAT is TOO FUNNY!!! Yep, they don't have real issues. If she feels comfortable to nudge him out of the way they are just fine.

"This morning when I brought him out they were calm. No crazy excitement from Fluffy and very minimal hissing from Sapphire so I kept it brief." - Great, another data point suggesting everything is fine.

" Fluffy wasn't very playful at all this morning and it seemed like he didn't have a lot of energy even when I was trying to play with him after breakfast." - Poor guy. :/

" Could be because it's very dark outside (the city has been covered in smoke from wild fires for the last two days)." - Ahhhhh, yes, that will do it. :( Can be very uncomfortable on the eyes, skin and of course breathing. :(

"Overall a calm morning with no issues." - Great. It is all about the whole context. They are doing just fine. :)

Keep up the great work!! And stay safe.
 
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"There may have been some stress over the passed few days but not too much." - Ok. Even a little can cause some issues. As well as any changes. Even little things like different feeing time or play time, or the humans having different hours, etc. The more confident they are the more they can accept change for the most part.

"Last night I just gave them treats together at the gate and they were fine." - Great. Another data point suggesting the pawing wasn't an issue.

"I have a new mirror in my bathroom resting against the counter and both cats were really enjoying looking at themselves." - Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Just be careful it can't get knocked over. Cats are pretty good at finding the "weak link" and causing a problem.

"Sapphire would sit at the gate staring in at the mirror and if Fluffy got in he way she would try to nudge him out of the way so she could see herself haha." - Oh my goodness!!! THAT is TOO FUNNY!!! Yep, they don't have real issues. If she feels comfortable to nudge him out of the way they are just fine.

"This morning when I brought him out they were calm. No crazy excitement from Fluffy and very minimal hissing from Sapphire so I kept it brief." - Great, another data point suggesting everything is fine.

" Fluffy wasn't very playful at all this morning and it seemed like he didn't have a lot of energy even when I was trying to play with him after breakfast." - Poor guy. :/

" Could be because it's very dark outside (the city has been covered in smoke from wild fires for the last two days)." - Ahhhhh, yes, that will do it. :( Can be very uncomfortable on the eyes, skin and of course breathing. :(

"Overall a calm morning with no issues." - Great. It is all about the whole context. They are doing just fine. :)

Keep up the great work!! And stay safe.
Thank you for the advice with more distracting. He seemed a little worked up tonight when I brought him out. Not frustrated or agitated just very active and constantly moving so I was constantly using treats to move him away from Sapphire so there were no issues other than one tiny hiss from her. There were times when he looked like he really wanted to play so I lured him away with treats and eventually he went back towards his room to chew on a cardboard scratching pad nearby. I did give them more treats together once he was back behind the gate and he then he seemed more interested in laying down and watching and/or waiting for her to come visit (or possibly waiting for his bedtime dinner). On a sidenote I did play with him quite a lot prior to bringing him out but it didn't really seem to effect his energy levels.

I worry that his routine may not be stimulating enough for him, but my week day time is very limited. I usually get up at 7:30 and feed him breakfast in his room around 8 (Sapphire will nibble throughout the day and he'll eat all the food I give him), and then I try and play with him until around 8:30. After that I'll bring him out for fiveish minutes for the harness session and then bring him upstairs with all his stuff to my bedroom and I leave for work at 9. During the day, my mom comes over and lets him out to run around the house from about 2 to 5 and she plays with him while Sapphire is closed on her room napping. I get home at 7:45, feed them both wet food and then after dinner I will play with him in my bedroom until about 8:30 after which I bring him back to his room, play with him a bit more then bring him out on his harness again. At 9 they both get more kibble and then I leave Fluffy to go to bed. Sapphire doesn't really play very much and just prefers to relax and have some pets and chin scratches every now and then.

I apologize for the long description. I'm just wondering if you had any thoughts on the routine. On another side note, I used to let him out after dinner in the evening for about half an hour before bed but now that Sapphire is more comfortable with him, it's increasingly hard to get her to go into her room (if she doesn't want to be in there she jumps at the door non stop until she is let out).
 

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Thank you for the advice with more distracting. He seemed a little worked up tonight when I brought him out. Not frustrated or agitated just very active and constantly moving so I was constantly using treats to move him away from Sapphire so there were no issues other than one tiny hiss from her. There were times when he looked like he really wanted to play so I lured him away with treats and eventually he went back towards his room to chew on a cardboard scratching pad nearby. I did give them more treats together once he was back behind the gate and he then he seemed more interested in laying down and watching and/or waiting for her to come visit (or possibly waiting for his bedtime dinner). On a sidenote I did play with him quite a lot prior to bringing him out but it didn't really seem to effect his energy levels.

I worry that his routine may not be stimulating enough for him, but my week day time is very limited. I usually get up at 7:30 and feed him breakfast in his room around 8 (Sapphire will nibble throughout the day and he'll eat all the food I give him), and then I try and play with him until around 8:30. After that I'll bring him out for fiveish minutes for the harness session and then bring him upstairs with all his stuff to my bedroom and I leave for work at 9. During the day, my mom comes over and lets him out to run around the house from about 2 to 5 and she plays with him while Sapphire is closed on her room napping. I get home at 7:45, feed them both wet food and then after dinner I will play with him in my bedroom until about 8:30 after which I bring him back to his room, play with him a bit more then bring him out on his harness again. At 9 they both get more kibble and then I leave Fluffy to go to bed. Sapphire doesn't really play very much and just prefers to relax and have some pets and chin scratches every now and then.

I apologize for the long description. I'm just wondering if you had any thoughts on the routine. On another side note, I used to let him out after dinner in the evening for about half an hour before bed but now that Sapphire is more comfortable with him, it's increasingly hard to get her to go into her room (if she doesn't want to be in there she jumps at the door non stop until she is let out).
"Thank you for the advice with more distracting." - You are welcome distraction is really good as is reassurance (which is part distraction).

Also, play with them (separately) where they tend to do treat time to build their confidence. So they can really "own" that space.

"He seemed a little worked up tonight when I brought him out." - Ok

" Not frustrated or agitated just very active and constantly moving" - Ok, he sounds like he just had a lot of energy. It happens.

" so I was constantly using treats to move him away from Sapphire so there were no issues other than one tiny hiss from her." - Ok, great. I LOVE that he would move away from her. Tells me it is all about play rather than something negative. If you pulled a toy out do you think he would play with it? I know the harness makes it difficult to play so more a theoretical question.

"There were times when he looked like he really wanted to play so I lured him away with treats" - Great

" and eventually he went back towards his room to chew on a cardboard scratching pad nearby." - Interesting. That is great he asn't fixated on her.

"I did give them more treats together once he was back behind the gate and he then he seemed more interested in laying down and watching and/or waiting for her to come visit (or possibly waiting for his bedtime dinner). " - Interesting. SOunds like he was behaving, good?

"On a sidenote I did play with him quite a lot prior to bringing him out but it didn't really seem to effect his energy levels." - Ok, yes, it is difficult to drain that energy. He is young. Sometimes they still have that energy and that is why they can be mischievous when they see another cat in a meeting.

"I worry that his routine may not be stimulating enough for him" - Ok, well, it happens. It is hard to keep a young cat active. Make sure he has a place to look out to watch the wildlife. Maybe get some toys he can play with, some cat trees, shelving, etc he can run around on. Things like that.

"but my week day time is very limited." - Yes, most people's are. PLEASE do not worry. You are doing great.

"I usually get up at 7:30 and feed him breakfast in his room around 8 (Sapphire will nibble throughout the day and he'll eat all the food I give him), and then I try and play with him until around 8:30." - Ok. Is it possible to play first then feed the meal? This replicates the Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat, Groom, Sleep like in the wild that builds confidence. Though he is doing great and doesn't lack confidence. :)

"After that I'll bring him out for fiveish minutes for the harness session" - Ok, how about a meal/harness session?

"and then bring him upstairs with all his stuff to my bedroom and I leave for work at 9." - Ok, great

" During the day, my mom comes over and lets him out to run around the house from about 2 to 5 and she plays with him while Sapphire is closed on her room napping." - Wow, that is great!!!

" I get home at 7:45, feed them both wet food and then after dinner I will play with him in my bedroom until about 8:30" - Ok. How about play then feed instead?

" after which I bring him back to his room, play with him a bit more" - Awwwwwwwww, he is spoiled.

" then bring him out on his harness again." - Ok.

"At 9 they both get more kibble and then I leave Fluffy to go to bed." - Great

" Sapphire doesn't really play very much and just prefers to relax and have some pets and chin scratches every now and then." - Ok. How old is she again? I forget. :/ If you can get her to play that would be great.

Also, I think you mentioned, he doesn't really go up (on cat trees, etc). Is that correct?

"I apologize for the long description." - Oh my, no apology needed, this is great.

" I'm just wondering if you had any thoughts on the routine." - It looks great. The only thing I would think about changing is going Play then Feed. But this is fantastic.

"On another side note, I used to let him out after dinner in the evening for about half an hour before bed but now that Sapphire is more comfortable with him, it's increasingly hard to get her to go into her room (if she doesn't want to be in there she jumps at the door non stop until she is let out). " - Ok. During the prior half hour were you catching up on house "stuff"? I am guessing since you were busy that is probably the case. That is fine.

It is a great sign she is comfortable to be out and about. I am trying to think of how we could have them both out (safely) during that half hour. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

You are doing great. I am so proud of the cats are the humans. This was a great update!! :)
 
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"Thank you for the advice with more distracting." - You are welcome distraction is really good as is reassurance (which is part distraction).

Also, play with them (separately) where they tend to do treat time to build their confidence. So they can really "own" that space.

"He seemed a little worked up tonight when I brought him out." - Ok

" Not frustrated or agitated just very active and constantly moving" - Ok, he sounds like he just had a lot of energy. It happens.

" so I was constantly using treats to move him away from Sapphire so there were no issues other than one tiny hiss from her." - Ok, great. I LOVE that he would move away from her. Tells me it is all about play rather than something negative. If you pulled a toy out do you think he would play with it? I know the harness makes it difficult to play so more a theoretical question.

"There were times when he looked like he really wanted to play so I lured him away with treats" - Great

" and eventually he went back towards his room to chew on a cardboard scratching pad nearby." - Interesting. That is great he asn't fixated on her.

"I did give them more treats together once he was back behind the gate and he then he seemed more interested in laying down and watching and/or waiting for her to come visit (or possibly waiting for his bedtime dinner). " - Interesting. SOunds like he was behaving, good?

"On a sidenote I did play with him quite a lot prior to bringing him out but it didn't really seem to effect his energy levels." - Ok, yes, it is difficult to drain that energy. He is young. Sometimes they still have that energy and that is why they can be mischievous when they see another cat in a meeting.

"I worry that his routine may not be stimulating enough for him" - Ok, well, it happens. It is hard to keep a young cat active. Make sure he has a place to look out to watch the wildlife. Maybe get some toys he can play with, some cat trees, shelving, etc he can run around on. Things like that.

"but my week day time is very limited." - Yes, most people's are. PLEASE do not worry. You are doing great.

"I usually get up at 7:30 and feed him breakfast in his room around 8 (Sapphire will nibble throughout the day and he'll eat all the food I give him), and then I try and play with him until around 8:30." - Ok. Is it possible to play first then feed the meal? This replicates the Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat, Groom, Sleep like in the wild that builds confidence. Though he is doing great and doesn't lack confidence. :)

"After that I'll bring him out for fiveish minutes for the harness session" - Ok, how about a meal/harness session?

"and then bring him upstairs with all his stuff to my bedroom and I leave for work at 9." - Ok, great

" During the day, my mom comes over and lets him out to run around the house from about 2 to 5 and she plays with him while Sapphire is closed on her room napping." - Wow, that is great!!!

" I get home at 7:45, feed them both wet food and then after dinner I will play with him in my bedroom until about 8:30" - Ok. How about play then feed instead?

" after which I bring him back to his room, play with him a bit more" - Awwwwwwwww, he is spoiled.

" then bring him out on his harness again." - Ok.

"At 9 they both get more kibble and then I leave Fluffy to go to bed." - Great

" Sapphire doesn't really play very much and just prefers to relax and have some pets and chin scratches every now and then." - Ok. How old is she again? I forget. :/ If you can get her to play that would be great.

Also, I think you mentioned, he doesn't really go up (on cat trees, etc). Is that correct?

"I apologize for the long description." - Oh my, no apology needed, this is great.

" I'm just wondering if you had any thoughts on the routine." - It looks great. The only thing I would think about changing is going Play then Feed. But this is fantastic.

"On another side note, I used to let him out after dinner in the evening for about half an hour before bed but now that Sapphire is more comfortable with him, it's increasingly hard to get her to go into her room (if she doesn't want to be in there she jumps at the door non stop until she is let out). " - Ok. During the prior half hour were you catching up on house "stuff"? I am guessing since you were busy that is probably the case. That is fine.

It is a great sign she is comfortable to be out and about. I am trying to think of how we could have them both out (safely) during that half hour. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

You are doing great. I am so proud of the cats are the humans. This was a great update!! :)
To answer your questions...
- He may play if I were to pull out a toy, but lately I've been struggling to play with him, specifically in the mornings as he doesn't seem interested or seems more content just laying by his gate waiting for Sapphire (or possibly for me to bring him out or up to my room).

- I definitely spoil him and Sapphire with lots of toys. He has tons in his room downstairs and I usually rotate which ones I bring upstairs to my bedroom with him but I think he spends most of his time up there sleeping or sitting on the chair looking down out the window.

- I've thought about playing with him first in the morning before breakfast but I feel he may completely ignore it in favour of meowing to be fed but I will give it a go. I do play with him at night just before he gets bedtime dinner. I also split that dinner half into his bowl and half into a ball that he has to push around to get the food out of so he has something to do after I close his door. I can also try playing before they get their first dinner (I can't remember if I mentioned but they get three meals each, one wet food and water and two of dry).

- I can definitely try giving him a meal with his harness on. I've done it before and it just acts as a distraction until he's done. Sapphire most likely wouldn't eat at all or very much as she is very much a nibbler when it comes to food.

- Sapphire is just over two years old or that's what was estimated by the vet at the humane society when we got her (she was approximately 8 months then). Fluffy is also estimated at around 2. Sapphire used to be playful when she was younger but not as much anymore. She really just enjoys laying up on her cat tree or on the floor or dresser in her room. She will let me know when she wants to play usually by running around or giving me a certain look. Other than those times she'll ignore whatever toy I try and play with her.

- Prior to letting him out at night it generally followed the same routine. I would get home from work and feed them, then make dinner and then let Fluffy out. Now I'll go play with him in my bedroom instead bringing him back to his room/on the harness. It was basically just a swap from one thing to another in the same time span because back then Sapphire would usually just lay or hide in her room until Fluffy went to bed. Now that she is comfortable with him it takes quite a bit of coaxing to get her to go into her room haha.

Sometimes I can keep him out for longer with his harness on as I'll carry him up to the perch on the window where he likes to nap but sometimes he's just not having it and will jump down immediately to either look for Sapphire or go to his room signifying he's ready for kibble. This morning he was good though he was a bit on the hyper side and I could tell he wanted to get closer to her so I kept distracting him with treats. I put him up on the perch after and he just laid there while I drank my coffee for about 20 minutes before I brought him upstairs. I guess my point his that he is very inconsistent with how he acts. I also do remember that there were points like this with Sapphire as well when we first got her and I'm wondering if it's still the stray cat instincts in him as I saw a lot of those in Sapphire for several months.

On a lighter side I'm still noticing much improvement in sapphire almost every other day. She really enjoys laying on his blanket that I've brought up to her room now and this morning as he was trying to paw at her gently through the baby gates she just calmy started sniffing his paw before walking away. I can see things are working well for her, now I just have to get him to a point where he is calm around her.
 

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To answer your questions...
- He may play if I were to pull out a toy, but lately I've been struggling to play with him, specifically in the mornings as he doesn't seem interested or seems more content just laying by his gate waiting for Sapphire (or possibly for me to bring him out or up to my room).

- I definitely spoil him and Sapphire with lots of toys. He has tons in his room downstairs and I usually rotate which ones I bring upstairs to my bedroom with him but I think he spends most of his time up there sleeping or sitting on the chair looking down out the window.

- I've thought about playing with him first in the morning before breakfast but I feel he may completely ignore it in favour of meowing to be fed but I will give it a go. I do play with him at night just before he gets bedtime dinner. I also split that dinner half into his bowl and half into a ball that he has to push around to get the food out of so he has something to do after I close his door. I can also try playing before they get their first dinner (I can't remember if I mentioned but they get three meals each, one wet food and water and two of dry).

- I can definitely try giving him a meal with his harness on. I've done it before and it just acts as a distraction until he's done. Sapphire most likely wouldn't eat at all or very much as she is very much a nibbler when it comes to food.

- Sapphire is just over two years old or that's what was estimated by the vet at the humane society when we got her (she was approximately 8 months then). Fluffy is also estimated at around 2. Sapphire used to be playful when she was younger but not as much anymore. She really just enjoys laying up on her cat tree or on the floor or dresser in her room. She will let me know when she wants to play usually by running around or giving me a certain look. Other than those times she'll ignore whatever toy I try and play with her.

- Prior to letting him out at night it generally followed the same routine. I would get home from work and feed them, then make dinner and then let Fluffy out. Now I'll go play with him in my bedroom instead bringing him back to his room/on the harness. It was basically just a swap from one thing to another in the same time span because back then Sapphire would usually just lay or hide in her room until Fluffy went to bed. Now that she is comfortable with him it takes quite a bit of coaxing to get her to go into her room haha.

Sometimes I can keep him out for longer with his harness on as I'll carry him up to the perch on the window where he likes to nap but sometimes he's just not having it and will jump down immediately to either look for Sapphire or go to his room signifying he's ready for kibble. This morning he was good though he was a bit on the hyper side and I could tell he wanted to get closer to her so I kept distracting him with treats. I put him up on the perch after and he just laid there while I drank my coffee for about 20 minutes before I brought him upstairs. I guess my point his that he is very inconsistent with how he acts. I also do remember that there were points like this with Sapphire as well when we first got her and I'm wondering if it's still the stray cat instincts in him as I saw a lot of those in Sapphire for several months.

On a lighter side I'm still noticing much improvement in sapphire almost every other day. She really enjoys laying on his blanket that I've brought up to her room now and this morning as he was trying to paw at her gently through the baby gates she just calmy started sniffing his paw before walking away. I can see things are working well for her, now I just have to get him to a point where he is calm around her.
To answer your questions...
"- He may play if I were to pull out a toy, but lately I've been struggling to play with him," - Interesting. You are making the toy act like prey? A rabbit or a mouse or a bird? Those movements?

" specifically in the mornings as he doesn't seem interested or seems more content just laying by his gate waiting for Sapphire (or possibly for me to bring him out or up to my room)." - Ok. Could be he just wants to come out and possibly see her and of course get human attention.

"- I definitely spoil him and Sapphire with lots of toys. He has tons in his room downstairs and I usually rotate which ones I bring upstairs to my bedroom with him" - :)

" but I think he spends most of his time up there sleeping or sitting on the chair looking down out the window." - Ok, good.

"- I've thought about playing with him first in the morning before breakfast but I feel he may completely ignore it in favour of meowing to be fed but I will give it a go." - Ok, just do whatever you think makes him happy. It really is all about feeling good, being happy, etc.

" I do play with him at night just before he gets bedtime dinner. I also split that dinner half into his bowl and half into a ball that he has to push around to get the food out of so he has something to do after I close his door." - Great, perfect

"I can also try playing before they get their first dinner (I can't remember if I mentioned but they get three meals each, one wet food and water and two of dry)." - Ok, see if it works, if it doesn't just go back to what does.

"- I can definitely try giving him a meal with his harness on. I've done it before and it just acts as a distraction until he's done. " - Ok. If she watches him that is good.

"Sapphire most likely wouldn't eat at all or very much as she is very much a nibbler when it comes to food." - Ok, as long as he is focused on the food and she is feeling good it is positive.

"- Sapphire is just over two years old or that's what was estimated by the vet at the humane society when we got her (she was approximately 8 months then)." - Ok, she is younger than I thought.

"Fluffy is also estimated at around 2." - Interesting, he is older than I thought. What do I know?????? Hahahahaha

"Sapphire used to be playful when she was younger but not as much anymore." - Ok, even before Fluffy came in?

"She really just enjoys laying up on her cat tree or on the floor or dresser in her room." - Ok.

" She will let me know when she wants to play usually by running around or giving me a certain look." - Awwwwwwwwwww

" Other than those times she'll ignore whatever toy I try and play with her." - Ok

"- Prior to letting him out at night it generally followed the same routine. I would get home from work and feed them, then make dinner and then let Fluffy out." - Ok

" Now I'll go play with him in my bedroom instead bringing him back to his room/on the harness." - OK, great

" It was basically just a swap from one thing to another in the same time span because back then Sapphire would usually just lay or hide in her room until Fluffy went to bed. Now that she is comfortable with him it takes quite a bit of coaxing to get her to go into her room haha." - Yes, a great sign from Sapphire's perspective.

"Sometimes I can keep him out for longer with his harness on as I'll carry him up to the perch on the window where he likes to nap but sometimes he's just not having it and will jump down immediately to either look for Sapphire or go to his room signifying he's ready for kibble. " - Ok, great

"This morning he was good though he was a bit on the hyper side and I could tell he wanted to get closer to her so I kept distracting him with treats. " - Ok, great job

"I put him up on the perch after and he just laid there while I drank my coffee for about 20 minutes before I brought him upstairs." - Awwwww, perfect.

"I guess my point his that he is very inconsistent with how he acts." - OK, he is a cat so it is normal.

" I also do remember that there were points like this with Sapphire as well when we first got her and" - Ok

"I'm wondering if it's still the stray cat instincts in him as I saw a lot of those in Sapphire for several months." - I think it is just being a cat.

"On a lighter side I'm still noticing much improvement in sapphire almost every other day." - Yes, I am seeing that.

" She really enjoys laying on his blanket that I've brought up to her room now" - Perfect. Scent swapping.

" and this morning as he was trying to paw at her gently through the baby gates she just calmy started sniffing his paw before walking away." - :yess: :hyper: :clap2: LOVE IT!!!

" I can see things are working well for her, now I just have to get him to a point where he is calm around her " - Yes or she can handle him.............................

I am not at all worried, they are doing great and with this update even better than I hoped. Keep up the great work!!!
 
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  • #140

Graham18

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To answer your questions...
"- He may play if I were to pull out a toy, but lately I've been struggling to play with him," - Interesting. You are making the toy act like prey? A rabbit or a mouse or a bird? Those movements?

" specifically in the mornings as he doesn't seem interested or seems more content just laying by his gate waiting for Sapphire (or possibly for me to bring him out or up to my room)." - Ok. Could be he just wants to come out and possibly see her and of course get human attention.

"- I definitely spoil him and Sapphire with lots of toys. He has tons in his room downstairs and I usually rotate which ones I bring upstairs to my bedroom with him" - :)

" but I think he spends most of his time up there sleeping or sitting on the chair looking down out the window." - Ok, good.

"- I've thought about playing with him first in the morning before breakfast but I feel he may completely ignore it in favour of meowing to be fed but I will give it a go." - Ok, just do whatever you think makes him happy. It really is all about feeling good, being happy, etc.

" I do play with him at night just before he gets bedtime dinner. I also split that dinner half into his bowl and half into a ball that he has to push around to get the food out of so he has something to do after I close his door." - Great, perfect

"I can also try playing before they get their first dinner (I can't remember if I mentioned but they get three meals each, one wet food and water and two of dry)." - Ok, see if it works, if it doesn't just go back to what does.

"- I can definitely try giving him a meal with his harness on. I've done it before and it just acts as a distraction until he's done. " - Ok. If she watches him that is good.

"Sapphire most likely wouldn't eat at all or very much as she is very much a nibbler when it comes to food." - Ok, as long as he is focused on the food and she is feeling good it is positive.

"- Sapphire is just over two years old or that's what was estimated by the vet at the humane society when we got her (she was approximately 8 months then)." - Ok, she is younger than I thought.

"Fluffy is also estimated at around 2." - Interesting, he is older than I thought. What do I know?????? Hahahahaha

"Sapphire used to be playful when she was younger but not as much anymore." - Ok, even before Fluffy came in?

"She really just enjoys laying up on her cat tree or on the floor or dresser in her room." - Ok.

" She will let me know when she wants to play usually by running around or giving me a certain look." - Awwwwwwwwwww

" Other than those times she'll ignore whatever toy I try and play with her." - Ok

"- Prior to letting him out at night it generally followed the same routine. I would get home from work and feed them, then make dinner and then let Fluffy out." - Ok

" Now I'll go play with him in my bedroom instead bringing him back to his room/on the harness." - OK, great

" It was basically just a swap from one thing to another in the same time span because back then Sapphire would usually just lay or hide in her room until Fluffy went to bed. Now that she is comfortable with him it takes quite a bit of coaxing to get her to go into her room haha." - Yes, a great sign from Sapphire's perspective.

"Sometimes I can keep him out for longer with his harness on as I'll carry him up to the perch on the window where he likes to nap but sometimes he's just not having it and will jump down immediately to either look for Sapphire or go to his room signifying he's ready for kibble. " - Ok, great

"This morning he was good though he was a bit on the hyper side and I could tell he wanted to get closer to her so I kept distracting him with treats. " - Ok, great job

"I put him up on the perch after and he just laid there while I drank my coffee for about 20 minutes before I brought him upstairs." - Awwwww, perfect.

"I guess my point his that he is very inconsistent with how he acts." - OK, he is a cat so it is normal.

" I also do remember that there were points like this with Sapphire as well when we first got her and" - Ok

"I'm wondering if it's still the stray cat instincts in him as I saw a lot of those in Sapphire for several months." - I think it is just being a cat.

"On a lighter side I'm still noticing much improvement in sapphire almost every other day." - Yes, I am seeing that.

" She really enjoys laying on his blanket that I've brought up to her room now" - Perfect. Scent swapping.

" and this morning as he was trying to paw at her gently through the baby gates she just calmy started sniffing his paw before walking away." - :yess: :hyper: :clap2: LOVE IT!!!

" I can see things are working well for her, now I just have to get him to a point where he is calm around her " - Yes or she can handle him.............................

I am not at all worried, they are doing great and with this update even better than I hoped. Keep up the great work!!!
A lot of people do think that Sapphire is older. Even when she was brought into the humane society they guessed she was 7 or 8 years old but the vet estimated around 8 months due to something with her teeth. I'll look back at pictures of her from after we got here and I see how small she was then (she weighed about 5-6 lbs when we got her and she's 12ish now.

Edit: I was still struggling to play with Fluffy tonight. After his wet food, he was playing with me upstairs in the bedroom for a bit before he laid down and started licking his paws. Sapphire came upstairs and was sitting a few feet away from my room and for a bit he did the little kitten crouching low to the ground run towards the gate and her but then went back up on the bed to lay down. After I brought him down to his room he was laying by the baby gates and didn't want to play. I brought him out on his harness and he seemed excited to see Sapphire again and get treats and also chew on the scratching pad. After I brought him back into his room when Sapphire was no longer interested he again just laid at his gate meowing not wanting to play with his usual favourite toys. Eventually I brought in Da Bird and he did play with that so I gave him his kibble after a few successful catches of it.

I'm wondering if he's tired (he did yawn a few times) or if he just really wants to see Sapphire.
 
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