Devastated after rehoming one of my cats

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aislinn

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Thank you...i have had pets die, and have had to put down some......never easy nor should it be......but this is first rehoming of otherwise healthy cats and it seems more lack of closure.......they did go to good homes so thats a positive.....life circumstances are such that this was int he best interest of everyone including the cats.
I felt the same way. I've lost pets to death, and grieved terribly, but there was closure. I still think that the fact that they are going on to a loving home will help ease your loss. As long as they are loved, and will eventually love their new owners, I think and hope that it will give you comfort. You should erase any amount of guilt from your mind. I can tell that you did what was best and followed through to ensure their wellbeing. Perhaps you should visit them in a month or so just to ease your worries.
 
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aislinn

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Oh, how precious.
 
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aislinn

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I brought my boy Finn back home. His sister is not happy, but I couldn't stop thinking about him, and missed him terribly. We're just going to take it slow. Real slow. God help us!
 

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Yikes. Hopefully you can find a way to integrate them again. At this point they should be complete strangers, which may be a good thing since they could be introduced more how you would introduce a second  totally new cat. How's it going?
 
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aislinn

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Yikes is right! The "victim" cat must remember the attack as she hisses like a banshee at the mere scent of him under the door. They have not seen each other and it's been 3 months. So far, keeping them separated is not too difficult. She is relegated to my bedroom and he has the run of the house. When I come home from work, they switch places. I am having French doors installed closing off my living room from the rest of the house, so that she can have more room to wander. This way, they'll be able to see each other without getting to each other. I'm hoping that in time they will become desentized to one another and things will calm down. It's still hard to believe that two siblings who were inseparable for 5 years could come to this. Just horrific all around.
 

NewYork1303

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Yikes is right! The "victim" cat must remember the attack as she hisses like a banshee at the mere scent of him under the door. They have not seen each other and it's been 3 months. So far, keeping them separated is not too difficult. She is relegated to my bedroom and he has the run of the house. When I come home from work, they switch places. I am having French doors installed closing off my living room from the rest of the house, so that she can have more room to wander. This way, they'll be able to see each other without getting to each other. I'm hoping that in time they will become desentized to one another and things will calm down. It's still hard to believe that two siblings who were inseparable for 5 years could come to this. Just horrific all around.
Hopefully she'll get used to him eventually. Most cats hiss at any new cat in their territory so it is possible that she doesn't recognize him. 
 

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I brought my boy Finn back home. His sister is not happy, but I couldn't stop thinking about him, and missed him terribly. We're just going to take it slow. Real slow. God help us!
How did this happen?  The last I heard they weren't even responding to your texts about him?

Congratulations on getting Finn back.  I hope the reintroduction goes well.  Be sure and take it slow and easy.

Margret
 
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aislinn

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Margret, I had asked for permission to visit him, which they agreed to. After several visits. I just laid it all out, and asked them to give me a chance with him again. They knew that my decision to surrender him was not taken lightly, and agreed to work with me. They were wonderful about it. I picked him up on July 2nd, and was concerned that he would be scared and confused when he got home, but the minute he got in the door, and I opened the carrier, he sauntered over to his favorite sleeping spot and promptly took a snooze. As difficult as it is keeping the two of them separated, it's nothing compared to the heartache of missing him. He's with me for life now and I just hope and pray that one day, the two of them will be like old buds again. If not that, then the least I can hope for is a peaceful coexistence.
 

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I'm very glad for all of you.  I hope Nola gets back the brother she used to sleep and play with.

Is the stray that started all of this gone?

Margret
 
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aislinn

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I haven't seen the stray in months. There will be others, I'm sure, so once they're back together, I have a repellant (safe) to put on my deck.
 

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Hi Aislinn,

I found this post because I am facing the same incredibly tough decision you had to make. I have two sister cats, three years old, and after over a year now of redirected aggression, countless check-ups (no medical issues, both spayed) we have an impending appt with a behaviourist but I think there won’t be a solution that works as we have tried everything. We are open to trying anything the behaviourist will suggest, but we have already tried everything and I can’t imagine there are any other things to try.

One of our cats is very anxious and she is the aggressor, hissing, spitting and sometimes screaming at the other cat, which often results in very aggressive fights and spraying around our home. She absolutely hates change or people coming to our home, and we are discussing starting a family soon, which I think might cause her even more stress. It’s heartbreaking because when she comes over to me and it’s just us in the room, she is so gentle and affectionate. Our other cat is more outgoing and will come to see visitors, and might be more adaptable to change and not stressed by it. We don’t know what to think when it comes to considering rejoining, whether to rehome one and if so which one, or both because the changes in our home might cause them stress and in turn us stress, or whether to even split them up.

I just wanted to say it brought me some relief to read other people have gone through this because I feel alone and unable to discuss this with many people, and it’s just such a heartbreaking situation.
 

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Hi M Martha86 . Just wanted to point out that this thread is from 2016, and the thread starter hasn't been on site for a couple of years, so they may not see you post. Sorry you're going through this with your cats. Hope things work out for you, and them.
 

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Hi M Martha86 . Just wanted to point out that this thread is from 2016, and the thread starter hasn't been on site for a couple of years, so they may not see you post. Sorry you're going through this with your cats. Hope things work out for you, and them.
Is there a way to contact the thread starter? I’m so curious how it or if it worked out. I’m in a similar situation and I am thinking to maybe give my aggressor cat to my in-laws for two weeks or do and try to reintroduce them. I really get depressed at the thought of having to rehome her. I just can’t do it but we also can’t go on living like this….
 

mjw

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Hi Aislinn,

I found this post because I am facing the same incredibly tough decision you had to make. I have two sister cats, three years old, and after over a year now of redirected aggression, countless check-ups (no medical issues, both spayed) we have an impending appt with a behaviourist but I think there won’t be a solution that works as we have tried everything. We are open to trying anything the behaviourist will suggest, but we have already tried everything and I can’t imagine there are any other things to try.

One of our cats is very anxious and she is the aggressor, hissing, spitting and sometimes screaming at the other cat, which often results in very aggressive fights and spraying around our home. She absolutely hates change or people coming to our home, and we are discussing starting a family soon, which I think might cause her even more stress. It’s heartbreaking because when she comes over to me and it’s just us in the room, she is so gentle and affectionate. Our other cat is more outgoing and will come to see visitors, and might be more adaptable to change and not stressed by it. We don’t know what to think when it comes to considering rejoining, whether to rehome one and if so which one, or both because the changes in our home might cause them stress and in turn us stress, or whether to even split them up.

I just wanted to say it brought me some relief to read other people have gone through this because I feel alone and unable to discuss this with many people, and it’s just such a heartbreaking situation.
I’m in a similar situation. Every time my husband and I say it might be better to rehome the aggressor I get really depressed and feel guilty. I just can’t give away any of my pets. They’re like children. I’m too worried about what might happen to them. I wonder if Aislinn was able to reintroduce them after a long separation.
 

rubysmama

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Is there a way to contact the thread starter? I’m so curious how it or if it worked out.
You could try sending them a private message, but unless they get email alerts, since they haven't been back to TCS, they might not see it.
How To Have A Private Conversation With Someone (aka Private Messaging Or Pm) – TheCatSite Articles

I’m in a similar situation and I am thinking to maybe give my aggressor cat to my in-laws for two weeks or do and try to reintroduce them. I really get depressed at the thought of having to rehome her. I just can’t do it but we also can’t go on living like this….
It might be worth a try.

Welcome to TCS, btw. Sorry, though, for the situation that's brought you here. I see you've started your own thread. Fingers crossed you get suggestions that might be helpful. :crossfingers:
 
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