Cat Introduction .... Failure?

[calicosrspecial]

Overall, this sounds really positive. I didn't read anything that was worrisome or a surprise.

Great that you played with them with the gate up and that no one was bothered. Perfect.

Yes, cats at a certain age do have endless energy that is nearly impossible to drain.

The reaction of Cosmo to Monty biting his neck tells me he trusts Monty. That is actually a good sign. He knows Monty doesn't want to hurt him. AND Monty doesn't hurt him (which if he wanted to he could easily). Of course we don;t want this to happen but it sounds like a non-issue really.

That is great they are doing well at the gate. It is really when the gate is gone that one of them goes into the others territory and then one of them runs or something?

Do you think you could distract Cosmo, have your BF remove the gate and try to distract Monty and see how it goes? Not suggesting doing it now but want to get a sense as to how to achieve this.

GREAT on the site swapping. Keep that up.

SO how does it exactly work when the gate is down? Does Cosmo just sit there and Monty jumps on him? Or does Cosmo run and then Monty chases him down? What exactly happens? Is it possible to get a video of how they are?

The oopsie wasn't too bad. I would like to understand the head tilt and low maneuver by Cosmo. Oftentimes that can be a bit aggressive move. I see that all the time with ferals. Their head will be faced at a 45 degree angle to the cat but their eyes will be on the cat. The head will be tilted and lower. The cat moves slower than normal as well. That can be interpreted by another cat as potentially aggressive. SO Iwould like to understand it. BUT Cosmo doesn't seem like he is aggressive so I am not sure that is what is really going on.

As least Monty did let him go. And it is normal if a cat runs (like prey) that the other cat chases so I m not surprised. We would like to get Cosmo more confident where he doesn't run. I don;t get a sense Monty wants to hurt Cosmo, just tell him that Monty is the boss.

It is normal that Cosmo would be hyperactive after that but it sounds like they rebounded pretty quickly which is a great sign.

VERY good sign about the body language regarding the "fight" or encounter.

I think we need to build Cosmo's confidence a bit more. Play and positive encounters/associations.

DO you think Cosmo is kind of wanting to play? I have a cat that likes to run to get another cat to chase them. It is all a game to them BUT they don't get into it. They just run around.

Overall, I think this is positive. Not perfect but really not worrisome. I would like to build confidence and positive associations more. Then I would like to have each of you distracting them without the gate trying as hard as possible to keep them focused on the toy or food etc without the gate. And also, if Monty chases using a piece of cardboard or a pillow to block the path to end a potential chase.

I think you are getting very close. We just need to make a little more progress but I am not worried. Everything is normal and not unexpected. This is what many of us go through. But we will get through it.

 

[RocketPuppy97]

SO how does it exactly work when the gate is down? Does Cosmo just sit there and Monty jumps on him? Or does Cosmo run and then Monty chases him down? What exactly happens? Is it possible to get a video of how they are?

It depends. I had him come up to Cosmo after they both finished eating trying to bite his neck while Cosmo was going back into the bedroom, so technically not his territory. Or when Cosmo walks up to him, aswell as when he runs away.
Monty looks at him, wals over and tries to bite him in the neck. It's very sudden.
I don't think I will be able to get this on tape, because it's usually moments before someone runs off.

The oopsie wasn't too bad. I would like to understand the head tilt and low maneuver by Cosmo. Oftentimes that can be a bit aggressive move. I see that all the time with ferals. Their head will be faced at a 45 degree angle to the cat but their eyes will be on the cat. The head will be tilted and lower. The cat moves slower than normal as well. That can be interpreted by another cat as potentially aggressive. SO Iwould like to understand it. BUT Cosmo doesn't seem like he is aggressive so I am not sure that is what is really going on.

Maybe it's just that I described it the wrong way. He blinks constantly while doing it or even squints while holding his head low trying to get nose to nose to him.

DO you think Cosmo is kind of wanting to play? I have a cat that likes to run to get another cat to chase them. It is all a game to them BUT they don't get into it. They just run around.

I think he would love to be best buddys with Monty, he always tries to make freindly moves towards him. They sometimes seem to be playing with eachothers paws under the door. Cosmo will lay down as close at the door as possible, sticking his paws under the door for Monty to see. Monty will come running and they'll play a little with their paws under the door. So I think he would love to make the whole chasegame work, but it's so difficult to tell what's play and what's "I'm the boss, this is my house"

So should we just continue feeding them treats together? And then try if anyone of them is interessted in playing while the otherone is around.

 

[calicosrspecial]

It sounds more dominance. My one feral in my colony does this often to my other feral in the colony. They are best friends but he does do this. I wonder if it is just "Monty's thing" or if it is a mild dominance thing. It makes sense they would run after. But given that it doesn't seem to affect them it doesn't sound like it is that negative (though we still want it to end or at least not happen as much).

Keep watching their body language before this and how they react afterwards. Other than confidence and distraction and just getting them to trust each other I am not sure what else we can do to stop it. Like I said my one feral in the colony does it all the time and they love each other. Nothing ever happens between them that worries me so that biting (though I don't like it) doesn't seem to cause them issues (they sleep together, eat together, rub on each other).

Ahhhhh, that is different. Do you think he is giving eye kisses? That he is trying to say "hey, I don't mean anything bad".

Cosmo's actions are definitely helpful in building the relationship between them. Monty will pick up on it if he hasn't already. I don;t get a sense that Monty is really too upset. Does he need to build more trust? Yes. Is it really worrisome? No.

Play and fighting is always hard to tell. But we can tell by whether there is fur, or blood, etc. If not it is the choice of the cats to not hurt the other one. It is a decision not to. And of course, how they react afterwards. If they rebound quickly it tells us that they trust each other. If a cat is hiding, walking low, avoiding areas, not eating, etc then it tells us there is an issue.

So I think giving treats is good (without the gate up) but I would like to just have you hang out with them (especially Monty) with the gate up. Just hang out, distract with words. Have them near each other but nothing happening. Watch if they look away, turn their back on the other cat. Watch that their body language is relaxed. And let's see how they do (I get a sense they will do great).

And of course play is great.

Then we are probably going to get the gate down and play and see how they do. if they both are focused on the toy it is a win. Even if for a minute. Then we will gradually expand the time of play together (without the gate) and watch how they do (then feed treats after play even if play was for a short time).

SO I think that is the plan. Also, I know it is hard but just try to be as calm and confident with them as possible. I know you are worried but Monty has not hurt Cosmo yet and I don't think he will start now. They will have to work it out a bit and find their place but I don;t think Cosmo is going to challenge Monty so they should be able to get along fairly quickly. But let's not rush it.

Please let me know if you are not clear about anything. Don't worry, it is going to work out.

 

[calicosrspecial]

One quick question - When was Monty neutered? How old was he?

Again today (2 days in a row) one of my feral colony boys just grabbed my other feral colony cat (boy) around the neck and was biting him. They were waiting at the door to be fed. Then they rubbed on each other and ate together. Happens all the time with these two (always the one doing it to the other).

 

[pearl99]

Again today (2 days in a row) one of my feral colony boys just grabbed my other feral colony cat (boy) around the neck and was biting him. They were waiting at the door to be fed. Then they rubbed on each other and ate together. Happens all the time with these two (always the one doing it to the other).

I can chime in that with my 2 this happens also. It's always Waffles (male, 5 years old, and the more dominant one) chomping a bit on Mooshoo's neck. There is no damage, no wounds, she doesn't cry in pain or anything- and if Mooshoo doesn't like it she just hisses and swats at Waffles if needed and/or scoots away.
I don't get any vibe of meanness or anger or wanting to fight, it's just a thing he does. Usually Waffles has given her a bit of grooming before this on her head.
They get along well- play and do chase-pounce-tag-hide and jump out with each other, they don't snuggle up or anything but they do coexist just fine.

 

[calicosrspecial]

The grooming and the bite. Yep, I see that with my guys as well. Also get just the quick nip at times. My guy is a character.

Do you know how old Waffles was when he was neutered? My guys were around 2 we guess when I trapped mine and neutered them.

 

[pearl99]

Do you know how old Waffles was when he was neutered? My guys were around 2 we guess when I trapped mine and neutered them.

For sure yes, he was 2 years old. I adopted him from a shelter where he had been turned in as a stray (I believe he was a semi-feral) and he was neutered by the shelter. He had only been at the shelter a week or so, so it was right at 2 years old.

 

[RocketPuppy97]

Ahhhhh, that is different. Do you think he is giving eye kisses? That he is trying to say "hey, I don't mean anything bad".

Yeah exactly! I saw Jackson Galaxy in "My cat from hell" talking about it many times, it's like a trust thing, my boyfriend and I make this slow blink towards our cats often, to signal them that we love them and trust them. Maybe that sounds abit supid I don't know
I never have seen any negative bahviour from Cosmo whatsoever, he wants to be friends with everybody, so I think it would make sense that he wants to be friendly with Monty too.

It sounds more dominance. My one feral in my colony does this often to my other feral in the colony. They are best friends but he does do this. I wonder if it is just "Monty's thing" or if it is a mild dominance thing. It makes sense they would run after. But given that it doesn't seem to affect them it doesn't sound like it is that negative (though we still want it to end or at least not happen as much).
Keep watching their body language before this and how they react afterwards. Other than confidence and distraction and just getting them to trust each other I am not sure what else we can do to stop it. Like I said my one feral in the colony does it all the time and they love each other. Nothing ever happens between them that worries me so that biting (though I don't like it) doesn't seem to cause them issues (they sleep together, eat together, rub on each other)

Play and fighting is always hard to tell. But we can tell by whether there is fur, or blood, etc. If not it is the choice of the cats to not hurt the other one. It is a decision not to. And of course, how they react afterwards. If they rebound quickly it tells us that they trust each other. If a cat is hiding, walking low, avoiding areas, not eating, etc then it tells us there is an issue.

Yeah, I also think it would be a dominance thing with Monty. I wouldn't find it that bad, if he wouldn't proceed to throw him over and run after him if I don't stop him. It's so onesided. Cosmo runs away and Monty runs after him, I haven't seen it the other way around.
Just this whole roling around and biting looks really ruff and we are scared someone gets hurt, because we thought it was just fun and games.

So I think giving treats is good (without the gate up) but I would like to just have you hang out with them (especially Monty) with the gate up. Just hang out, distract with words. Have them near each other but nothing happening. Watch if they look away, turn their back on the other cat. Watch that their body language is relaxed. And let's see how they do (I get a sense they will do great).

I try to move with them towards the gate all the time, talking with them and petting them, the otherone usually just sits there and watches, or lays on his side. Except when they are excited when someone comes home from work.

Then we are probably going to get the gate down and play and see how they do. if they both are focused on the toy it is a win. Even if for a minute. Then we will gradually expand the time of play together (without the gate) and watch how they do (then feed treats after play even if play was for a short time).

SO I think that is the plan. Also, I know it is hard but just try to be as calm and confident with them as possible. I know you are worried but Monty has not hurt Cosmo yet and I don't think he will start now. They will have to work it out a bit and find their place but I don;t think Cosmo is going to challenge Monty so they should be able to get along fairly quickly. But let's not rush it.

That sounds like a good plan. Cosmo would always be the one running away, I just hope Monty wouldn't want to bully him when they finally are able to live together haha.

One quick question - When was Monty neutered? How old was he?

Again today (2 days in a row) one of my feral colony boys just grabbed my other feral colony cat (boy) around the neck and was biting him. They were waiting at the door to be fed. Then they rubbed on each other and ate together. Happens all the time with these two (always the one doing it to the other).

We don't really know how old Monty was when we got him, because he was found outside by someone and we took him in after nobody missed him.
I work at a vets office and my boss said he would have been around 8 month old maybe a bit older. He was not kitten sized but grew a little bit. So he was neutered around that time too. We got him in May and he was neutured in late june. Now he would be a little over a year old if we predicted his age correctly.

I can chime in that with my 2 this happens also. It's always Waffles (male, 5 years old, and the more dominant one) chomping a bit on Mooshoo's neck. There is no damage, no wounds, she doesn't cry in pain or anything- and if Mooshoo doesn't like it she just hisses and swats at Waffles if needed and/or scoots away.
I don't get any vibe of meanness or anger or wanting to fight, it's just a thing he does. Usually Waffles has given her a bit of grooming before this on her head.
They get along well- play and do chase-pounce-tag-hide and jump out with each other, they don't snuggle up or anything but they do coexist just fine.

That doesn't sound to bad, maybe I just don't have the right eye to tell if it's just play or not. Monty and Cosmo are my first Cats, when I was living at home we had two bulldogs, the complete opposite of cats


Also thanks for your replies, it always helps me alot

 

[RocketPuppy97]

Soo, I made a bit of a risky move. I tokk two toys on sticks and tried to play with both of them, or atleast try to get them to not focus on each othe, it was okay at first Cosmo was mostly moving around not really playing and Monty could be distracted with the toy, I don't know if I missed the moment where I should have seperated them or whatever, but Monty jumped on Cosmo and the started running around and jumped on the cupboards in the livingroom, teir ears wern't completly flat on their head they hit eachother with their paws and jumped from the cupboard, if I'm not mistaken, excuse me if somethings doesn't make much sense it all happend so quick but I think Cosmo iniciated one of those chases too at one point, so I watched a little more, but as they came running down the hallway again, Monty threw Cosmo down at the ground and they became wrangling ball of cat, until Cosmo hissed at Monty, he stopped for a brief moment and then jumped back on Cosmo again. That's when I seperated them.

I grabbed my phone immidiatley after that happend and filmed their reactions afterwards

That was around 10 minutes ago? The both meowed afterwards but now they are more or less back to their normal meowing habit


I hope I didn't **** anything up now, i was just so shocked by Cosmo hissing at Monty and him jumping at him


Okay, for some weird reason I'm not able to insert any links anymore?

 

[Jen2massage]

Hi and hello everyone!
We have a cat named Monty. He moved in with us after a friend of us found him and no-one seemed missed him. We got him castrated and he's about a year old.

And we thought a buddy would be perfect for him. So we got Cosmo back in June. We were told he's a little over one year old. In retrospect the old owners just wanted to get rid of him.
He's a really friendly cat and just wants to be cuddled, no aggression what so ever.

We were dumb and to excited for him to move in with us, so that we let them meet right away.
Not a good idea, I know. Monty ended up chasing Cosmo. And it was not pretty.

We learned from our mistakes and after binge watching every episode of My cat from hell and reading his book and the whole nine yards, we made a screendoor and started slowly feeding them at the door. Everything seemed great. They are both eating directly at the screendoor without a problem.
Then we started Eat, Play Love with feeding them in the same room. No problem.
For breakfast we are still feeding them at the screenshot but it's open. No problem either, Monty just walks away after that, minding his own business. No sign of aggression. We also swap sides everyday and Monty doesn't seem bothered by it.


But this all seems to good to be true.
Today after our eat play love session we decided, to try if they could finally interact with each other.
Monty walked up to him and immediately tried to bite his neck and push him on the ground. No hissing, no growling, no stareing, Tail- or earmovement whatsoever. We separated them right away, because the last time Monty ended up chasing after Cosmo, who tried to give him a nose greeting and acted all friendly. Cosmo is a passive cat and would always choose to run away instead of fighting.

I don't expect them to be best friends I just want to know if it's all lost.
I've read so many articles and they all say something like " after all those steps, put them together in a room and tada, everything is fine"
When do I know that they are ready? Or that we have to re-home one of them?


Thanks for your advice in advance

I feel you! We're going through the same thing right now, except we have 2 resident cats whom we are trying to get along with the newbie. It really does sound like you are doing everything right. But it does take time. According to other posts I've read, it can even taken months, if not a year! But the one thing that really jumped out at me was that you mentioned there was no growling/hissing/staring, etc.. when the neck bite event occurred. The first thing I thought was "are we sure this wasn't just play?". Play can often come across as aggressive, and there can be biting involved, but it's usually "superficial". I would recommend to keep doing what you're doing. Don't be too alarmed if this happens again and you don't hear the growling/hissing, etc... Please keep us posted!

 

[RocketPuppy97]

I feel you! We're going through the same thing right now, except we have 2 resident cats whom we are trying to get along with the newbie. It really does sound like you are doing everything right. But it does take time. According to other posts I've read, it can even taken months, if not a year! But the one thing that really jumped out at me was that you mentioned there was no growling/hissing/staring, etc.. when the neck bite event occurred. The first thing I thought was "are we sure this wasn't just play?". Play can often come across as aggressive, and there can be biting involved, but it's usually "superficial". I would recommend to keep doing what you're doing. Don't be too alarmed if this happens again and you don't hear the growling/hissing, etc... Please keep us posted!

I don't know if you saw it, but I just posted an update. Unforutnatley there was hissing involved (from Cosmo's side)and Monty, stopped for a moment before jumping back on Cosmo.
I just can't shake of the feeling that, when we would let them continue with this chase, they would a) not stop chasing, at all just like the first time this ahppend and b) would end up under the bed

 

[Jen2massage]

I don't know if you saw it, but I just posted an update. Unforutnatley there was hissing involved (from Cosmo's side)and Monty, stopped for a moment before jumping back on Cosmo.
I just can't shake of the feeling that, when we would let them continue with this chase, they would a) not stop chasing, at all just like the first time this ahppend and b) would end up under the bed

Hi! I apologize. I’m still new to this site and trying to find my way around. I’m going back now and reading prior comments

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yeah exactly! I saw Jackson Galaxy in "My cat from hell" talking about it many times, it's like a trust thing, my boyfriend and I make this slow blink towards our cats often, to signal them that we love them and trust them. Maybe that sounds abit supid I don't know
I never have seen any negative bahviour from Cosmo whatsoever, he wants to be friends with everybody, so I think it would make sense that he wants to be friendly with Monty too.







Yeah, I also think it would be a dominance thing with Monty. I wouldn't find it that bad, if he wouldn't proceed to throw him over and run after him if I don't stop him. It's so onesided. Cosmo runs away and Monty runs after him, I haven't seen it the other way around.
Just this whole roling around and biting looks really ruff and we are scared someone gets hurt, because we thought it was just fun and games.




I try to move with them towards the gate all the time, talking with them and petting them, the otherone usually just sits there and watches, or lays on his side. Except when they are excited when someone comes home from work.




That sounds like a good plan. Cosmo would always be the one running away, I just hope Monty wouldn't want to bully him when they finally are able to live together haha.






We don't really know how old Monty was when we got him, because he was found outside by someone and we took him in after nobody missed him.
I work at a vets office and my boss said he would have been around 8 month old maybe a bit older. He was not kitten sized but grew a little bit. So he was neutered around that time too. We got him in May and he was neutured in late june. Now he would be a little over a year old if we predicted his age correctly.







That doesn't sound to bad, maybe I just don't have the right eye to tell if it's just play or not. Monty and Cosmo are my first Cats, when I was living at home we had two bulldogs, the complete opposite of cats


Also thanks for your replies, it always helps me alot

Eye kisses (or slow blinks) are great to help build trust. I think it is great and extremely helpful in getting a cat to feel more comfortable. I do it all the time especially with new feral cats in the wild. It works.

Cosmo liking everyone is going to be very helpful to helping this relationship. Monty will realize he doesn't mean any harm to him and that will help Monty accept him even more. So far it is going well and I don't see any reason why it will not in the future.

Dominance or a mating thing. When they get of age they tend to mate and have that instinct even after they get neutered. I know it looks horrible BUT Cosmo doesn't seem to have been hurt etc so Monty is not hurting him (which he could if he wanted to). So I don;t worry too much about it but I do want him to do it less. If Cosmo holds his ground then it may happen less but I have a feeling we will be ideally with this for a their relationship.

Cosmo running away triggers Monty's hunting instinct so he chases. It is just normal cat stuff. As Cosmo gets more confidence and trust he should run away less causing less chases.

The fact one of the cats exposes their belly to the other cat tells me there is a lot of trust. That is a VERY vulnerable position for a cat so they wouldn't do that unless they felt secure and not threatened.

Yes, Cosmo is trying to get to total trust of Monty. So running away is normal. As he gets more confident he will run less which should lead to less chases. I do think we will see Monty do the wrestle thing and the neck thing but I don;t think it will impact their relationship.

Does the neck/wrestling thing happen when they are waiting for food or when they are waiting for attention?

You are doing great with the cats. If you had a lot of experience or not. You have great instincts and have done a great job with Cosmo and Monty. I think you are doing fantastically.

 

[RocketPuppy97]

Does the neck/wrestling thing happen when they are waiting for food or when they are waiting for attention?

I can't really tell why this happens, one time Monty did this right after eating while Cosmo was looking away. Today he did it between my distraction tries. So I don't really know what triggers it, maybe just the fact that he can get a hold of him now, because the get is not between them.


As I stated in one of my previous comments I think I may have seen Cosmo trying to initiate one of those chases aswell, but he was again the one who has been chased.

How do I know that they will stop this chase? And not end up in a wrestling ball of fur under the bed again.
I watched them for like a minute before I seperated them, because Monty jumped right at Cosmo after he hissed at him.

I also got the link to work
www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_5HBB2u95o

So I'm not worried about what happend today, but I don't want them to be chasing eachother around constantly

 

[calicosrspecial]

Soo, I made a bit of a risky move. I tokk two toys on sticks and tried to play with both of them, or atleast try to get them to not focus on each othe, it was okay at first Cosmo was mostly moving around not really playing and Monty could be distracted with the toy, I don't know if I missed the moment where I should have seperated them or whatever, but Monty jumped on Cosmo and the started running around and jumped on the cupboards in the livingroom, teir ears wern't completly flat on their head they hit eachother with their paws and jumped from the cupboard, if I'm not mistaken, excuse me if somethings doesn't make much sense it all happend so quick but I think Cosmo iniciated one of those chases too at one point, so I watched a little more, but as they came running down the hallway again, Monty threw Cosmo down at the ground and they became wrangling ball of cat, until Cosmo hissed at Monty, he stopped for a brief moment and then jumped back on Cosmo again. That's when I seperated them.

I grabbed my phone immidiatley after that happend and filmed their reactions afterwards

That was around 10 minutes ago? The both meowed afterwards but now they are more or less back to their normal meowing habit


I hope I didn't **** anything up now, i was just so shocked by Cosmo hissing at Monty and him jumping at him


Okay, for some weird reason I'm not able to insert any links anymore?

You didn't mess anything up. This will happen. No intro is perfect. BUT it sounds like they got over it quickly which tells me that they handled it.
Now, the site looks different to me today that it did yesterday. AND the video is not available to be viewed (maybe because of a change in the site?) I don't really know computers or internet so when things change I really don't handle it well. I am even trying to deal with how the site changed and how it looks. The print is really small for my old eyes.

If one cat is not focused on the toy then you want to be more careful. Because they can be in "Hunt mode" and their emotions can be up and they can drain that energy on the other cat rather than the toy. It really is hard to play with both as one person. It can be done but it is tricky especially if you haven't done it before. It is because it is hard to make both toys act like prey as we can usually only focus on one toy at a time. Ideally, having your BF play with one cat and you the other to give the toy full attention that is best.

Monty probably saw Comso running (and acting like prey) and thought "he" is more interesting than that toy. So the chase started, Cosmo didn't like it and resisted and some batting at each other etc. BUT it sounds like no one was hurt so again no cat wanted to hurt the other one. It was more defensive. So it is not that bad. Of course we don;t want this but Cosmo will be a big part of solving this and it sounds like he did stand up for himself.

How they act after is extremely important and making sure there is some positive encounter or positive associations after it then they can get over it.

Remember a hiss is just communication, a "hey, stop it" type communication. My inside cats have been together for years and I get a hiss once in a while and they LOVE each other. It happens, cats are like people, we get annoyed, we are not always happy and accepting. Doesn't mean we don't love the other people, arguments just happen. The key is to understand and forgive and focus on what really is important (and correct our behavior if we are in the wrong). Cat relationships are really like human relationships. Same dynamics.

So I just would use this as a learning experience. Read their body language when playing. Take a step back and make those positive associations using food (make sure they are eating meals together) and just have those positive encounters.

I am not at all worried and actually this encounter tells me that it is more defensive and they are working it out. There isn't an underlying fear or cause of concern between them. This is normal in intros.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I can't really tell why this happens, one time Monty did this right after eating while Cosmo was looking away. Today he did it between my distraction tries. So I don't really know what triggers it, maybe just the fact that he can get a hold of him now, because the get is not between them.


As I stated in one of my previous comments I think I may have seen Cosmo trying to initiate one of those chases aswell, but he was again the one who has been chased.

How do I know that they will stop this chase? And not end up in a wrestling ball of fur under the bed again.
I watched them for like a minute before I seperated them, because Monty jumped right at Cosmo after he hissed at him.

I also got the link to work
www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_5HBB2u95o

So I'm not worried about what happend today, but I don't want them to be chasing eachother around constantly

Interesting. After eating is surprising a bit. Between distractions not surprising. It could just be like you mention, he wants to tells Cosmo he is boss and does it when the time is available.

Interesting Cosmo initiated a chase. That tells me either he is telling Monty not to do this stuff or he thinks this is a way to play (I have a cat that LOVES to be chased and will chase to get the other cat to chase them).

Stop the chase eventually or at the moment? Eventually when they are more confident and don't find it effective to chase the other cat because they have already come to an understanding and an equilibrium in their relationship. In the moment of the encounter, calling their names, distracting, etc. I think your question was about longer term. The chases will definitely be reduced in the longer term. Maybe not eliminated but much reduced. These guys are going to get along. Cats don't want to hurt another and I don't get a sense Monty and Cosmo want to either. They are just trying to figure out there standing (where they are on the ladder) and making sure the other cat knows not to try anything.

On the video (I could see it now) - Monty looks a little excited but Cosmo seemed really relaxed. Monty seems to be struggling a little at times with his standing which is normal but I didn't see anything worrisome in that video (especially when they just had an encounter 10 minutes before the video).

Keep working on Monty getting him distracted etc. Make whatever you are using to distract more interesting than Cosmo. Monty will get there. Just keep making those positive associations and positive encounters.

 

[RocketPuppy97]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_5HBB2u95o here is the like to the video again, I hope it works this time.

I was just worried because Monty didn't stop after Cosmo hissed at him, I thought that would maybe be something that would make him act differently.
I also think it would be better if each of us played with one cat. I just have to figure out how to get Cosmo focused on the toy when Monty is around, he just wants to watch him, because he seems fascinated.

For dinner tonight they'll get one of their special little cans with the really good stuff.

 

[RocketPuppy97]

Interesting. After eating is surprising a bit. Between distractions not surprising. It could just be like you mention, he wants to tells Cosmo he is boss and does it when the time is available.

Interesting Cosmo initiated a chase. That tells me either he is telling Monty not to do this stuff or he thinks this is a way to play (I have a cat that LOVES to be chased and will chase to get the other cat to chase them).

Stop the chase eventually or at the moment? Eventually when they are more confident and don't find it effective to chase the other cat because they have already come to an understanding and an equilibrium in their relationship. In the moment of the encounter, calling their names, distracting, etc. I think your question was about longer term. The chases will definitely be reduced in the longer term. Maybe not eliminated but much reduced. These guys are going to get along. Cats don't want to hurt another and I don't get a sense Monty and Cosmo want to either. They are just trying to figure out there standing (where they are on the ladder) and making sure the other cat knows not to try anything.

On the video (I could see it now) - Monty looks a little excited but Cosmo seemed really relaxed. Monty seems to be struggling a little at times with his standing which is normal but I didn't see anything worrisome in that video (especially when they just had an encounter 10 minutes before the video).

Keep working on Monty getting him distracted etc. Make whatever you are using to distract more interesting than Cosmo. Monty will get there. Just keep making those positive associations and positive encounters.

Oh I didn't see your last post sorry

Yeah, I was quite suprised too, that Cosmo initiated a chase. It reminded me so much of the chases we had when they first got together. The would just run around until Cosmo was in a corner and Monty would jump on him, or they would end up under thebed like that.
I just want Monty to know that he doesn't has to chase Cosmo everytime he sees him.

So how would we proceed from here? Feeding meals together as alway (about 1 foot away from each other), giving treats together. And now starting with play time together one playing with Cosmo and one playing wi

 

[calicosrspecial]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_5HBB2u95o here is the like to the video again, I hope it works this time.

I was just worried because Monty didn't stop after Cosmo hissed at him, I thought that would maybe be something that would make him act differently.
I also think it would be better if each of us played with one cat. I just have to figure out how to get Cosmo focused on the toy when Monty is around, he just wants to watch him, because he seems fascinated.

For dinner tonight they'll get one of their special little cans with the really good stuff.

Understandable you were worried. But it is not surprising. Monty did stop for a second if I remember then went ahead anyway. Which tells me that Monty probably didn't think Cosmo was all that serious. I am guessing Monty thinks Cosmo is too nice.

Yes, getting them focused on each other is best. Now as long as Cosmo just watches Monty play that is fine as long as you can keep Monty focused on the toy. Do you think Cosmo might want to join in with the play? I think it is really all about keeping Monty's focus off Cosmo as much as possible.

GREAT that they will get the good food!! That helps. Now one might think "I finished and that cat still has some" so they may be interested in the other's food and there might be an encounter. Let's see.

On the video - I don't see aggression. I see Monty with interest and energy. And I see Cosmo just relaxed. I think it was Monty making sounds? Now I don't know if Monty wants to just play or play and get the point across that he is still boss. But it is nothing I am really worried about.

On the last post - about Cosmo chasing and what is next.

I would have had to seen exactly how the chase went. It could be defensive. It could be "this is fun play". Body language tells us a lot. And the way they act afterwards (normal vs different). I think it is probably very different now vs earlier. Earlier they did not have the relationship, the trust. New cats feeling the other out is very different. Now they have been eating together, etc. With no real negativity. And from the body language I have seen I don't see scared cats. I am sure there isn't 100% trust yet but there is a lot of trust. AND they both make a conscious choice not to hurt the other cat. I actually think it is ok if Cosmo chased. We don't want it to get out of control but it may be that Cosmo is trying to get his point across that he doesn't some of the things Monty does. It is there way of working things out.
SO going forward - Exactly. Feeding them near each other. Making sure it is positive. Giving treats and getting them to look away from the other cat, to not focus on them. Watch their body language, tail movements, tail positioning, their movements (faster than normal), how they sit, etc. And yes, play. If you only can play with Monty that is fine as long as Cosmo isn't focused on by Monty. And Cosmo seeing Monty playing but not attacking him is a positive. And of course Monty is doing something he loves with Cosmo right there (positive association). Then feed after. Just anything you can do to have them near each other without seeing anything negative. If if only for a short time. Leaving it on a positive note is great. And then you can play with Monty deeper in his territory (not by Cosmo).

If you can get video of this that could be helpful. I just would like to see their body language. It tells a lot. Can your BF video it?

 

[RocketPuppy97]

So a small update:

• Still no peeing incident, since I switched the litterboxes
• Cosmo seems to get more frustrated being in the bedroom now, he's complaining more than usual and is just stopping when he's out in the rest of the flat. Even when we played a lot with both of them. But we can't just keep Monty in there all of the time
• I'm ill at the moment so playing with both of them in the same room wasn't really possible, but we still feed them treats together and the get to eat meals together too

We hope to get to playing with them in the same room today, hopefully