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@calicosrspecial, I cannot emphasize enough what a great post this was!
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Been One Week, New Cat Still Hiding/can't Touch
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calicosrspecial
Unfortunately, our place is split into three floors so I don't think we can have the old cats on the lower floors and the new cat on the upper floor since the old cats sleep upstairs.
He's been coming out a lot lately whenever we come in the room and wants to be pet and entertained. Lately he has been trying to follow the girlfriend out of the bedroom when she leaves to go downstairs to the living room and she feels guilty leaving him there since he wants to join her.
Also, one of our old cats has been talking to our new cat through the door for some reason so they do little chirps from time to time. She's cool with doing the formal introduction in the form of feeding them both on the opposite side of a closed door but just feels guilty that he's confined to a room and wants out.
He still hides a lot but still wants to follow the girlfriend out of the room when she's been with him for a while and wants to go downstairs.
He's been coming out a lot lately whenever we come in the room and wants to be pet and entertained. Lately he has been trying to follow the girlfriend out of the bedroom when she leaves to go downstairs to the living room and she feels guilty leaving him there since he wants to join her.
Also, one of our old cats has been talking to our new cat through the door for some reason so they do little chirps from time to time. She's cool with doing the formal introduction in the form of feeding them both on the opposite side of a closed door but just feels guilty that he's confined to a room and wants out.
He still hides a lot but still wants to follow the girlfriend out of the room when she's been with him for a while and wants to go downstairs.
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Three floors would not be a problem. He would be in his room for the most part and then during the scent swapping phase he could be on the third floor (especially where the others sleep) while the others are distracted on the lower floors. A room is not a problem for a month to several months, please trust me. I have done a lot of introductions and have helped on introductions that have taken all the way up to almost a year and have never experienced a negative influence from being in a room during an introduction. Cats are more resilient than we humans think. There is no need to feel guilty as we are doing what is best for every cat involved especially the new cat. I actually find that the new cat is easier to integrate than the resident cats. The resident cats are the trickier ones as it is their territory that is being "invaded" by a potential threat (new cat).
GREAT that he is coming out and greeting everyone. This is a big breakthrough. The next step we want him to go high on a cat tree or a dresser, to look out of the window, to start playing (in order to build confidence). Also great he wants to follow her. They are bonding but it is too early to let him out. Again, I know it is hard but there is no reason she should feel guilty because she is doing the best thing for him.
GREAT that one of the cats wants to communicate. We want to start associating each of them with something good (feeding on each side of that closed door). Start a bit away and slowly move closer. This helps associate the scent of the other cat with something good. We want positive associations. So when they smell the other cat they realize it is not a threat AND they think of something good (food) when they smell them.
It is a process. We need him to be confident in order to introduce them. If he is not confident then he could be bullied etc and he could regress. We just have to take it slow taking small steps and making progress building on positives and limiting any negative encounters.
Keep up the great work and PLEASE do not feel guilty, you are giving him a chance at life.
Please start working on building the confidence of the resident cats. Step up play with them then feed after a good play session. You may want to get an old shirt and get you new cat's smell on that shirt and put it by where the resident cat's eat. See how they do with that. Positive association.
Don't worry, you both are doing a great job. No reason to feel any guilt at all.
GREAT that he is coming out and greeting everyone. This is a big breakthrough. The next step we want him to go high on a cat tree or a dresser, to look out of the window, to start playing (in order to build confidence). Also great he wants to follow her. They are bonding but it is too early to let him out. Again, I know it is hard but there is no reason she should feel guilty because she is doing the best thing for him.
GREAT that one of the cats wants to communicate. We want to start associating each of them with something good (feeding on each side of that closed door). Start a bit away and slowly move closer. This helps associate the scent of the other cat with something good. We want positive associations. So when they smell the other cat they realize it is not a threat AND they think of something good (food) when they smell them.
It is a process. We need him to be confident in order to introduce them. If he is not confident then he could be bullied etc and he could regress. We just have to take it slow taking small steps and making progress building on positives and limiting any negative encounters.
Keep up the great work and PLEASE do not feel guilty, you are giving him a chance at life.
Please start working on building the confidence of the resident cats. Step up play with them then feed after a good play session. You may want to get an old shirt and get you new cat's smell on that shirt and put it by where the resident cat's eat. See how they do with that. Positive association.
Don't worry, you both are doing a great job. No reason to feel any guilt at all.
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Thank you for that information. He likes to climb on the dresser and look out the window and now he has been climbing on the bed to lay down and relax when we are around.
Also, he really likes to play with the girlfriend. She dangles strings and yarn in front of him and he'll turn on his back and attack them. He also likes carrying his wand toys around then hides them under the bed as well.
All good signs so far.
Also, he really likes to play with the girlfriend. She dangles strings and yarn in front of him and he'll turn on his back and attack them. He also likes carrying his wand toys around then hides them under the bed as well.
All good signs so far.
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Great signs!!
He is gaining trust, building his confidence.
Get him to stalk the toy, make the toy act like prey, a mouse or a bird. Have him stalk it then pounce on it. Then repeat. After a good play session feed either treats or a meal. This builds confidence as it replicates what they do in the wild, Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat.
A confident cat is more likely to get along with others. We also want to build the confidence of the resident cats.
He is doing great. Keep up the great work.
He is gaining trust, building his confidence.
Get him to stalk the toy, make the toy act like prey, a mouse or a bird. Have him stalk it then pounce on it. Then repeat. After a good play session feed either treats or a meal. This builds confidence as it replicates what they do in the wild, Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat.
A confident cat is more likely to get along with others. We also want to build the confidence of the resident cats.
He is doing great. Keep up the great work.
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He's weird in that we haven't found cat treats he actually enjoys. We tried a few different ones and he just likes eating his wet food in the morning and night.
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Sometimes it is hard. If possible then just use wet food as a treat. And then feed a little less at mealtime (but if possible use play before mealtime as well). So keep the amount of food the same just break it up a little if possible or needed.
Just do your best, you are doing great.
Just do your best, you are doing great.
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Alright, think we wanna get this cat acclimated to the apartment and other cats/people. Think it's best to have the roommates meet him, other cats or him exploring the upstairs? Preferably looking for an order to do this.
Great to hear the good progress! Keep it up 
I've just come across this thread and have read how your new cat is adjusting to his new home. What is his name? Sorry if I managed to overlook it in your messages.
I've never introduced cats, or had a semi-feral cat, so I can't offer any first-hand advice. But I can see you have been getting great advice from other posters.
Where you already have 3 cats, I would think the introductions do have to be slow to ensure none of your cats take a disliking to the newbie and you end up with an unhappy original kitty.
As for the bedroom being too small a space for him, he spent several months in a cage at the shelter, right. So the bedroom has too be like a palace for him.
I've never introduced cats, or had a semi-feral cat, so I can't offer any first-hand advice. But I can see you have been getting great advice from other posters.
Where you already have 3 cats, I would think the introductions do have to be slow to ensure none of your cats take a disliking to the newbie and you end up with an unhappy original kitty.
As for the bedroom being too small a space for him, he spent several months in a cage at the shelter, right. So the bedroom has too be like a palace for him.
Have you tried Temptations? I know they're not the greatest nutrition-wise, but I've yet to hear of a cat that doesn't go crazy for them.
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His name is Dash and the rescue was actually a woman's home so nope he had the full house along with other cats!
I didn't realize Dash (cool name) had been both in a house and around other cats before you adopted him. That should definitely make it easier for him to transition to being a full-fledged feline member of your home. Good luck. I look forward to seeing more updates. And maybe some pics of Dash and his new siblings.
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Trizzo,
Sorry for the delayed response.
I see your post about moving forward.
First off, how is he doing in the room? Do you think he "owns" it? Is he confident in his room? Walking around tail in the air? Coming out and acting normal, interacting with the humans?
Our first step is to feed on opposite sides of a closed door. We do this to associate the scent of the other cats with something good (food). So we start a few feet away and slowly every day move the food closer by inches. The door should be closed. Only scent not any visual at this time. We want to make it a positive experience, so that he knows they are there via smell but there is no threat. Now, I have a question. Can you get the other cats up by his door/room in order to eat?
Everything we are going to do will be focused on associating with positive things and to make every experience (via scent at first, visual later on) as positive as possible and avoiding any negative encounters that might make a negative association. We want every cat to view the other cat(s) as positive, thinking (I know that cat, he or she is cool, they don't mean any harm). Everytime they have a positive encounter we get closer to success. Any negative encounter (a stare, a hiss, a swat, a chase it sets us back and makes a cat get less confident).
The fact that he did well with other cats before is a positive. BUT we don't know how the transition was. It just always depends on the confidence of all the cats involved in my opinion. I find that the resident cats typically have the more difficult time adjusting because it is THEIR territory being invaded. So we have to make sure the resident cats are confident (using play, food, height and love - can explain this more) as confident cats are less likely to attack or be attacked. We also have to make sure the new cat is confident.
Please feel free to ask any questions.
Sorry for the delayed response.
I see your post about moving forward.
First off, how is he doing in the room? Do you think he "owns" it? Is he confident in his room? Walking around tail in the air? Coming out and acting normal, interacting with the humans?
Our first step is to feed on opposite sides of a closed door. We do this to associate the scent of the other cats with something good (food). So we start a few feet away and slowly every day move the food closer by inches. The door should be closed. Only scent not any visual at this time. We want to make it a positive experience, so that he knows they are there via smell but there is no threat. Now, I have a question. Can you get the other cats up by his door/room in order to eat?
Everything we are going to do will be focused on associating with positive things and to make every experience (via scent at first, visual later on) as positive as possible and avoiding any negative encounters that might make a negative association. We want every cat to view the other cat(s) as positive, thinking (I know that cat, he or she is cool, they don't mean any harm). Everytime they have a positive encounter we get closer to success. Any negative encounter (a stare, a hiss, a swat, a chase it sets us back and makes a cat get less confident).
The fact that he did well with other cats before is a positive. BUT we don't know how the transition was. It just always depends on the confidence of all the cats involved in my opinion. I find that the resident cats typically have the more difficult time adjusting because it is THEIR territory being invaded. So we have to make sure the resident cats are confident (using play, food, height and love - can explain this more) as confident cats are less likely to attack or be attacked. We also have to make sure the new cat is confident.
Please feel free to ask any questions.
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Thanks for your reply. He comes out often, always has his tail in the air, loves to be pet, jumps up on the bed when the girlfriend is around and plays. Also crawls all over us at night when we are sleeping and rolls in the girlfriends clothes on the floor. Talks with the other cats through the door on occasion.
He likes hanging out with the gf and is okay around me on occasion when I have food around. The girlfriend did that today and our new cat just kept eating and smelling the other cats underneath the door, didn't seem to care much. We got the other 3 cats on the other side of the door so they were all there. No one really minded.
The resident cats have seen him through the cracks of the door before and through other interactions within the room with him but he they don't mind too much. They were cautious but didn't really let it bug them.
We'll do the food on the other side of the door thing for a little bit, is there a number of days this needs to be done in a row or something?
He likes hanging out with the gf and is okay around me on occasion when I have food around. The girlfriend did that today and our new cat just kept eating and smelling the other cats underneath the door, didn't seem to care much. We got the other 3 cats on the other side of the door so they were all there. No one really minded.
The resident cats have seen him through the cracks of the door before and through other interactions within the room with him but he they don't mind too much. They were cautious but didn't really let it bug them.
We'll do the food on the other side of the door thing for a little bit, is there a number of days this needs to be done in a row or something?
When I got Butch and Coda they were just kittens. I brought them home and opened the cat carrier and eventually Butch wandered out and started exploring but his sister (Coda) would not come out. He kept going back to the carrier and checking on her, then he'd wander away again, but she stayed inside for a whole day before coming out. When she did come out she hid under the couch.
Both of them would sleep under the couch and not venture very far. After a couple days of this I decided to put my mattress out on the living room floor and sleep there so they would get used to me. I did this for a week and both cats were slowly coming out and exploring me and the mattress, playing around on it and eventually they started sleeping on me. Once I put the bed back they became a little more familiar with the place (and me) and started roaming around more.
It still took almost eight months for Coda to "warm up" to me, to the point where she was familiar with my voice and would let me pet her and hold her (only once in a while; she still doesn't like to be held). These were not feral cats, but kittens born in my ex's home. Cats are all different, just like people. They all have their own personalities, traits and behaviors. So it can take a while with some cats to become familiar with you and your surroundings.
Cats are also very habitual creatures, so it's good if they have a routine; litter box in the same place, food in the same place, etc. This will also help them to "settle in". Unless of course that kitten is feral, then it may take even longer for the process to work. My mom raised feral barn cats and through patience and time they both became her babies, although they would only ever allow my mom to handle them.
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Thanks for your reply! I know I don't have the patience that a lot of others do and it'll get better over time
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Thank you for the update, very good update.
There is no set time on the steps. We move forward when we think they can handle moving to the next step and have it go as well as possible. We always try to maximize the positive encounters and minimize the negative ones. We want to reinforce positive things and encounters.
So, I would keep feeding on each side of the closed door for the next several days and watch their reactions. Please let me know how they react. Sometimes it starts positive then they get more defensive, we just have to watch the reactions.
When we determine they are ready we will want to have them separated by a gate or something. We don't want them to be able to get to each other. We will hang a sheet over the gate and allow a little visual while eating (be ready to distract if it starts to turn negative- distract with play or food). If they can be distracted that will tell a lot. Always watch how they act, body language, etc.
Just try to always associate the cats with good things (especially food) and try to maximize the positive encounters and minimize the negative encounters (hissing, swatting, chasing, etc). If a negative encounter might start (staring) distract with play or food. Do anything to turn it into a positive.
Please ask any questions. It sounds positive so far but with cats time is the best determiner. If you keep reinforcing positive encounters and build confidence they will be accepting. Cats typically don't get along because of fear (of being hurt by a threat) and a lack of confidence.
Keep up the great work, you are doing a great job!!
Desktop, great post. Well done.
There is no set time on the steps. We move forward when we think they can handle moving to the next step and have it go as well as possible. We always try to maximize the positive encounters and minimize the negative ones. We want to reinforce positive things and encounters.
So, I would keep feeding on each side of the closed door for the next several days and watch their reactions. Please let me know how they react. Sometimes it starts positive then they get more defensive, we just have to watch the reactions.
When we determine they are ready we will want to have them separated by a gate or something. We don't want them to be able to get to each other. We will hang a sheet over the gate and allow a little visual while eating (be ready to distract if it starts to turn negative- distract with play or food). If they can be distracted that will tell a lot. Always watch how they act, body language, etc.
Just try to always associate the cats with good things (especially food) and try to maximize the positive encounters and minimize the negative encounters (hissing, swatting, chasing, etc). If a negative encounter might start (staring) distract with play or food. Do anything to turn it into a positive.
Please ask any questions. It sounds positive so far but with cats time is the best determiner. If you keep reinforcing positive encounters and build confidence they will be accepting. Cats typically don't get along because of fear (of being hurt by a threat) and a lack of confidence.
Keep up the great work, you are doing a great job!!
Desktop, great post. Well done.
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Thanks for your reply. The first day we did the feeding no one cared and it went fine, no one reacted any differently than normal. Today the girlfriend did it and one of the old cats hissed/was uncomfortable and the new cat didn't get scared on the other side and hide but instead just stayed there and stood his ground. Overall, it was good seeing the new cat not back down. The other two old cats didn't care at all. They smelled under the door but ain't and acted normally. The new cat acted cool as well, it was just the one old cat who was a little taken back.
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This is totally normal. There are always ups and downs during the process. Our key is to ease them into it and to associate them with good things. So the more they are there without incident the more trusting they will be as they smell the other cat but there is no risk.
The hiss was a fear response. As if to say "I know you are there, don't try anything". The more confident a cat is the more accepting because they are more trusting typically.
So if the cat gets a little concerned or worried try to distract the old cat with the food, or a treat, or play, or just talking to them calmly and confidently. Anything to reassure the cat and turn it into a positive. Let the cat know that they are not at risk.
It is very good that the new cat is acting so good so far. Eating by the door, not being bothered. Acting confident. Let's make sure it is sustained and then we can move on to the next step. But we need a week or so. Keep watching how they all react.
It is very common for the resident cats to have the most difficult time adjusting. So I am not surprised to hear a resident cat hissed. Keep working on building everyone's confidence (especially using play). Keep associating the cats with good things (food). And distract and comfort if possible if anyone shows signs of getting agitated.
The key really is to let all the cats know that the other cat is not a threat. Once they realize the other cat is "cool" they should accept. So we try to use positive association (starting with scent and food) to accomplish that.
Keep up the good work, please let me know if you have any questions.
The hiss was a fear response. As if to say "I know you are there, don't try anything". The more confident a cat is the more accepting because they are more trusting typically.
So if the cat gets a little concerned or worried try to distract the old cat with the food, or a treat, or play, or just talking to them calmly and confidently. Anything to reassure the cat and turn it into a positive. Let the cat know that they are not at risk.
It is very good that the new cat is acting so good so far. Eating by the door, not being bothered. Acting confident. Let's make sure it is sustained and then we can move on to the next step. But we need a week or so. Keep watching how they all react.
It is very common for the resident cats to have the most difficult time adjusting. So I am not surprised to hear a resident cat hissed. Keep working on building everyone's confidence (especially using play). Keep associating the cats with good things (food). And distract and comfort if possible if anyone shows signs of getting agitated.
The key really is to let all the cats know that the other cat is not a threat. Once they realize the other cat is "cool" they should accept. So we try to use positive association (starting with scent and food) to accomplish that.
Keep up the good work, please let me know if you have any questions.
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I appreciate that information. The feedings have gone well and no issues have arised other than that. We have done some scent swapping in the past and that's been fine. We are thinking of doing the under the door trick today and tomorrow then this weekend do the screen gate technique. We actually have a gate that they can see eachother through but can't get over/around/through.
Whenever the girlfriend leaves for work in the morning the cat tries to follow her out of the room and go hang out with her downstairs or leave the room. He just seems really bored/restless in the small bedroom and think it is time to let him be "free."
We just feel really bad for him because we know he's not super happy just staying in the bedroom where there's other cats he probably wants to meet/play with. The girlfriend is pretty much out of patience so we are going the under door today/tomorrow then the screen door Saturday and then on Sunday we'll probably block off the upstairs for the new cat and let him roam our bedroom, bathroom, roommates bedroom as that is the only thing upstairs.
We just want him to explore more and let him know there's options outside of the room so he's happier.
We'll see how it goes but we think this is what he wants. Oh, and breed wise we found out he is a Norwegian Forest Cat.
Whenever the girlfriend leaves for work in the morning the cat tries to follow her out of the room and go hang out with her downstairs or leave the room. He just seems really bored/restless in the small bedroom and think it is time to let him be "free."
We just feel really bad for him because we know he's not super happy just staying in the bedroom where there's other cats he probably wants to meet/play with. The girlfriend is pretty much out of patience so we are going the under door today/tomorrow then the screen door Saturday and then on Sunday we'll probably block off the upstairs for the new cat and let him roam our bedroom, bathroom, roommates bedroom as that is the only thing upstairs.
We just want him to explore more and let him know there's options outside of the room so he's happier.
We'll see how it goes but we think this is what he wants. Oh, and breed wise we found out he is a Norwegian Forest Cat.
