Been One Week, New Cat Still Hiding/can't Touch

trizzo0309 · Apr 29, 2017

calicosrspecial said:
Orange & White gives good advice on the litter box t contain some of it. There are also litter boxes with attachable sides and fully enclosed ones. Then there are mats that can be put down to catch most of the litter on their feet. Some ideas for the future.

Let's watch his eating. I am guessing it is the heat but we need to watch. Nothing else changed? It sounded like he was pretty good yesterday so maybe it is just the heat. The fan might have scared him also since it is "out of the norm".

I know this is hard on you both. It is not you. He is just having a transition issue which is not uncommon. I am totally confident you will get him comfortable. There will be steps, he will come out more (food at first then for social), then he'll start wanting to rub on you, then he'll probably head butt, then it will be time to get more social with him. Some cats take longer to accept petting versus others. Some cats are never lap sitters. It just depends. The key is to move at their pace and accept them for what they are.

It doesn't sound like he is stressed. Signs would be diarrhea or soft stools, throwing up, going outside of the litter box, things like that. He isn't doing that, correct?

Please keep us up on how things are going. We had a little breakthrough before the dresser incident so that put us back a little but it was a good sign he played with your girlfriend and ate a third of the way out from under the bed. Small steps. He will come around, keep using food as the primary motivator. Can you add a cat tree so he can go up (when you are not in the room) and so he can scratch it and get his scent on something (own something)? Also, if you can add a really warm and comfy bed for him.

Hang in there, he will come around. I will be with you every step of the way. The guy hit the jackpot finding a home with you.

C calicosrspecial Thank you for following up. The litter box idea is solid and we use the fan every night when we go to sleep but this is the first time we've ran it all day.

He ended up eating this early afternoon and played with the girlfriend with a wand toy then dragged it to his little hiding space under the bed (pretty funny he does that with a few toys).

Nah, he's using the bathroom fine and nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to the restroom or throwing up.

We made a cardboard box bed with his blanket he used in the cat carrier and put one of my tshirts in it as well so my smell was with his in the box. Whether he uses it or not, we'll see!

We can definitely put a cat tree in the room but what we have at the moment is he can jump on our dresser to look out the window with. We have two cat trees for the other cats downstairs so we could bring one of them up but it may smell like the other cats so maybe that could be an issue.

I really, really appreciate your feedback though. You and everyone else here have been so helpful, I'm very thankful!

calicosrspecial · Apr 30, 2017

Great that he ate and played and that he is not having any issues using the litter. Positives!!

It doesn't sound that the fan was the problem. Anything else it might have been?

Is this a second floor bedroom or a ground floor bedroom?

It is great that he can look out the window using the dresser. The only thing is he can't get his scent on the dresser. A cat tree or scratching post gives the opportunity of ownership (getting his scent on it via rubbing and scratching). But we wouldn't want to have a tree or post with other cat's scent on it given his current territorial insecurity.

You are very welcome. This is actually a pretty easy thing to deal with (even though it may not seem like it right now). He is doing well for the most part (eating, using the litter box, some interaction). He will come around, I am not worried. And I will be with you every step of the way.

PushPurrCatPaws · Apr 30, 2017

trizzo0309 said:
... Yeah he's having a weird day today. Hasn't eaten and has isolated himself to under the dresser only, when I go down to look at him underneath he just hisses at me then we leave. Food remains untouched thus far today. ...

It'll be two weeks since we got him on Monday and we have had some progress in regards to him eating overall and becoming more comfortable with the girlfriend but as far as him warming up to us and having him come out/let us pet him, still nothing aside from when we are not around. ...

trizzo0309 said:
... He ended up eating this early afternoon and played with the girlfriend with a wand toy then dragged it to his little hiding space under the bed (pretty funny he does that with a few toys). ...

We made a cardboard box bed with his blanket he used in the cat carrier and put one of my tshirts in it as well so my smell was with his in the box. Whether he uses it or not, we'll see!

We can definitely put a cat tree in the room but what we have at the moment is he can jump on our dresser to look out the window with. ...

I want to know more about this dresser. What is its width? Where is he hiding there, exactly? Underneath it or behind it (e.g. did you pull it out from the wall)?

It seems to be a haven for him, and I don't know about you, but I am moving a bit more towards @kieka's position of trying to get him out from under the bed then blocking that area off (or as one poster suggested, taking the bed frame away!) and moving his hidey spots to the box and/or crate/carrier (for me, "hidey spots" is plural, as I think there should be more than one).

Anyway, what I was thinking is that depending on the width of your dresser and where he tries to hide, have you considered buying a cat tunnel? You could pull the dresser out from the wall a foot or so, block off the awkward hidey places he's been trying to use, and put the cat tunnel opened up behind the dresser as a new hidey place -- so that one open end is at each side of the dresser (entrance/exit: two choices for him to move).

I would recommend a tunnel that is NOT crinkly or noisy. We have this one but I don't know if they make it anymore. It's a polyester exterior fabric with white soft fabric inside, and it's washable.

https://thecatsite.com/media/milly-16sep2015-jpg.299205/full

maggie101 · Apr 30, 2017

trizzo0309 said:
Hello all. So, here's the shortened version of a long story:

Adopted a new 2 year old cat from a rescue on last Monday.

When we brought him home he was scared to death (reasonably so), shook, we couldn't pet him and he hid under our bed/dresser.

We have him in our bedroom with the door closed and his food/water/litter box all nearby so no other pets can come in and disturb him.

Since we got him he really hasn't warmed up to us or the place at all. We have soothing music on in the background all day, spent a little time in the room with him all quiet and sweet talk him but he just stares at us. We can't really get near him because he wedges himself against the wall and when we look at him much he hisses even after we do the soft/slow blinks.

We have given him catnip which he enjoys but still can't get near him and he doesn't come out from under the bed/dresser to socialize or even explore the room while we are around. We have seen him roam in the morning while we are sleeping but as soon as he sees we are awake he runs and hides.

What do you guys think we should do to warm him up to us? It's been seven days and I know this takes time but we at least want to see some process (haha). Any tips are appreciated as we want to turn this scared cat into someone who can trust us because the rescue said it took a bit of time for him to warm up to people. We have three other cats who we want to be his friend but don't want to introduce them into the new cat is comfortable with us and at least comes out of the bed. We haven't even seen him all the way since he hides!

Any help is appreciated. Thank you!

PushPurrCatPaws said:
Yeah, I just feel this is different than a feral. It's a shelter cat who has been used to confinement for 18 months. Can you imagine... the wide expanse of having access to a whole entire bedroom?!

That would set any shy shelter kitty back on their haunches! And to think the bedroom is just a moon around a planet, in a universe -- there is still a whole house to see, with three other cats! (oooh boy, that will be hard, too! but who knows)

It's a completely new experience. He needs little safe places of confinement set about the room like little lily pads, till he can gain confidence.

This is a bit hilarious, but our last cat liked this corrugated packing material stuff to sit on and scratch her claws on. We tore off smaller sections for the cat to have.

View attachment 177915

We bought a whole roll during her last year of life, and we still have some left over, course. We've used sections of it for our latest cat as she got used to our apartment. We ~~throw out~~ recycle the pieces of packing material as the pieces get worn out (it's like a thick paper or cardboard). It's like cats just love seeing something on the floor and they go over to sit on it, groom on it, lay on it, etc., lol. Set a piece of paper or a shoe box lid on the floor near a cat and see what happens. lol

It's like a little spot they can say, This is mine, so there.

trizzo0309 · May 1, 2017

calicosrspecial said:
Great that he ate and played and that he is not having any issues using the litter. Positives!!

It doesn't sound that the fan was the problem. Anything else it might have been?

Is this a second floor bedroom or a ground floor bedroom?

It is great that he can look out the window using the dresser. The only thing is he can't get his scent on the dresser. A cat tree or scratching post gives the opportunity of ownership (getting his scent on it via rubbing and scratching). But we wouldn't want to have a tree or post with other cat's scent on it given his current territorial insecurity.

You are very welcome. This is actually a pretty easy thing to deal with (even though it may not seem like it right now). He is doing well for the most part (eating, using the litter box, some interaction). He will come around, I am not worried. And I will be with you every step of the way.

C calicosrspecial Not sure in all honesty. We have a three story apartment, including the basement and our bedroom is on the third floor looking out on the street and other apartments.

Over the weekend he spent his time handing out underneath the bed and really bonding with the girlfriend. Whenever she goes in the bedroom and sits on the floor he comes close-ish to her under the bed.

She will put the food bowl near her and he will come 2/3 of the way out and eat with her there. He's still very cautious and skiddish while eating always checking around and seeing that she's not doing anything sketchy. The other day she put the food down and her hand as well and he came close enough to have her pet him once(!) then he retreated under the bed.

Today she told me he came out, she pet him once, he went under the bed then came back out and she was able to pet him again. Only two strokes in total but this is awesome news! Clearly he likes her. When I am in the room alone with him he lays under the bed a bit more relaxing than he used to be but doesnt really trust me enough to come out.

Also, amazing news. So, last night the girlfriend got home late and she fed him then she went to bed and she saw him fully out of the bed in front of his food bowl just staring at her. That's so great! They just looked at eachother for a bit then she went to bed.

trizzo0309 · May 1, 2017

PushPurrCatPaws said:
I want to know more about this dresser. What is its width? Where is he hiding there, exactly? Underneath it or behind it (e.g. did you pull it out from the wall)?

It seems to be a haven for him, and I don't know about you, but I am moving a bit more towards @kieka's position of trying to get him out from under the bed then blocking that area off (or as one poster suggested, taking the bed frame away!) and moving his hidey spots to the box and/or crate/carrier (for me, "hidey spots" is plural, as I think there should be more than one).

Anyway, what I was thinking is that depending on the width of your dresser and where he tries to hide, have you considered buying a cat tunnel? You could pull the dresser out from the wall a foot or so, block off the awkward hidey places he's been trying to use, and put the cat tunnel opened up behind the dresser as a new hidey place -- so that one open end is at each side of the dresser (entrance/exit: two choices for him to move).

I would recommend a tunnel that is NOT crinkly or noisy. We have this one but I don't know if they make it anymore. It's a polyester exterior fabric with white soft fabric inside, and it's washable.

https://thecatsite.com/media/milly-16sep2015-jpg.299205/full

View attachment 178625

Thank you for your post. I could say the dresser is about 18 inches deep, three feet tall and about five plus feet long. The cat can enter from the front (which is too small for him) or come from around back where there is a bigger opening that he can get underneath it from.

He hides underneath it and I think he likes the fact that is is very closed off from humans and it's his little safe space. We can, in theory, close that back off by throwing a pillow or something back there but then he'd only have the bed as his safe space. We also have a box to hide in and a closet open for him but he hasn't really tried those yet.

We haven't really considered buying a cat tunnel as we like him having his two places where he can feel safe and the tunnel might be uncertain to him and scare him. I see what you mean though.

He isn't confident with our bedroom yet so I can't imagine how he will deal with our three level apartment and how long that may take for him to warm up to. May take ages.

calicosrspecial · May 1, 2017

AWESOME!!! Progress. Just let him go at his pace, he is making progress, building trust.

He will trust you, don't worry. Use food to build the trust with him. Good food associate you with good stuff. And go at his pace, not touching him, no looking at him, be calm and confident. You will build trust with him, I can tell the person you are and he will see all the good in you. Don't worry.

Just move the food out a bit more to encourage him to come out further.

It is all a process. We build trust in the bedroom. Then we go through the formal introduction process to get him comfortable with the exiting cats. And we build confidence through play, food, height and love through this at the appropriate time. I know it is frustratingly slow but I have total confidence in you both. You will succeed.

trizzo0309 · May 2, 2017

C calicosrspecial Great update. So, this cat loves my girlfriend. She was sitting on the bed yesterday and he came out and started walking around the room and exploring. She then sat on the floor and he came over to her and she started petting him and he liked it. It was so cute. You can tell he was still very cautious and hesitated a little bit then hid but kept coming out and giving her attention. He really doesn't want much to do with me and hides under the bed when I'm around but he's warm with her. Awesome stuff.

PushPurrCatPaws · May 2, 2017

That's great news!

trizzo0309 · May 2, 2017

PushPurrCatPaws C calicosrspecial Alright, minor setback maybe.

The cat was out and about in the room all happy with the girlfriend the she maybe got over excited. She decided to lock all the other cats in another room and let our new cat explore/roam/get outside our room to see the world around him. He walked out the door without issue, smelled the carpet upstairs for a few minutes then walked downstairs to the living room, did some exploring and now is hiding behind our couch.

We're gonna have to find a way of getting him back upstairs and now this is gonna be a pain in the butt. Maaaaybe she pushed the boundaries too much.

trizzo0309 · May 2, 2017

PushPurrCatPaws C calicosrspecial

Yeah, this went incredibly bad. Girlfriend and roommates had to try chasing him and cornering him to get him into a carrier and back into the bedroom. He was very scared and meowing. I told her this would happen but she got a little too excited with the progress and this may have been a big step back.

Rachel Warner · May 2, 2017

Laser light always works to get him out and some cat nip so he's feeling good helps alot

PushPurrCatPaws · May 3, 2017

"Big steps back" are lessons learned! It would have been a good opportunity to block the under-bed access, though, since you'd had him in a carrier. That way you could move to the other 1-2 hidey spots in your bedroom, and begin anew.

How is he doing??

destinyz12 · May 3, 2017

What about maybe installing some Feliway plug-ins to help him feel less anxious? We just brought a new kitten into our home with our resident cat, and while the kitten didn't take long to warm up, our resident cat was very territorial at first and seemed very anxious and stressed. She wasn't acting like herself or eating much, constantly hissing at the kitten when he came too close to her. Several people recommended Feliway plugs so we bought a couple and placed them near where the cats ate and played. This was a week after we got the new cat. Within a couple of days she was doing MUCH better, had normal appetite, and was even starting to play with the kitten, barely hissed, and didn't chase him away from her spots. She's much more calm now, and the 2 cats seem to enjoy each others company. I know your situation is different but it could very well help him to feel more comfortable.

calicosrspecial · May 3, 2017

Hi, don't worry. This is a minor setback and as PushPurrCatPaws says, it is a learning experience. Cats are resilient. He will forget all about it in time.

There are a lot of positives with your girlfriend getting him out and about the room. I loved reading that. Some cats can take some time to build trust. The key is to be loving, non-threatening, and associate yourself with good things (food especially). He will come around.

We really want to take small steps with him. Build trust in the room then eventually introduce him to the other cats and expand his territory. It is a process.

PLEASE let us know how he does the next few days after this incident. How he acts will tell us a lot about where he is. He will rebound, the timing will matter. We always want to try to maximize the positive encounters and minimize the negative encounters.

We'll get through this. It is not the end of the world. Let's use food and what your girlfriend does to continue to build that trust. He may stay under the bed more for the next few days but he'll want to have interaction and he'll come out. Just take it slow with him and go at his pace. He will get over this, don't worry.

trizzo0309 · May 3, 2017

Rachel Warner said:
Laser light always works to get him out and some cat nip so he's feeling good helps alot

I appreciate that idea!

trizzo0309 · May 3, 2017

PushPurrCatPaws said:
"Big steps back" are lessons learned! It would have been a good opportunity to block the under-bed access, though, since you'd had him in a carrier. That way you could move to the other 1-2 hidey spots in your bedroom, and begin anew.

How is he doing??

PushPurrCatPaws Good suggestion. It hasn't been long and we woke up with him putting a girlfriend's shirt in his litterbox and beat it up pretty badly with his waste so I can tell that's a little payback for last night.

He was under the bed as usual and hissed at me when I went to look at him but he generally warms up with the girlfriend so when she goes upstairs to feed him dinner tonight after work it will be important to see how he acts around her. If he stays put and hides then it's crummy but if he comes out and is hesitant then I'll take it.

trizzo0309 · May 3, 2017

destinyz12 said:
What about maybe installing some Feliway plug-ins to help him feel less anxious? We just brought a new kitten into our home with our resident cat, and while the kitten didn't take long to warm up, our resident cat was very territorial at first and seemed very anxious and stressed. She wasn't acting like herself or eating much, constantly hissing at the kitten when he came too close to her. Several people recommended Feliway plugs so we bought a couple and placed them near where the cats ate and played. This was a week after we got the new cat. Within a couple of days she was doing MUCH better, had normal appetite, and was even starting to play with the kitten, barely hissed, and didn't chase him away from her spots. She's much more calm now, and the 2 cats seem to enjoy each others company. I know your situation is different but it could very well help him to feel more comfortable.

destinyz12 I have heard about this Feliway thingy but don't know much about it, how it works or where to get it. I believe it's a product for sale in Europe somewhere but don't know much. You're welcome to explain it if people know about it or if it is helpful.

calicosrspecial · May 3, 2017

I think it is how he behaves over the next few days. I expect him to be more cautious for the next day or two. That is pretty common and normal after an incident like that for any cat. For him it may take more than a few days. BUT you all will get through it and he will warm up again. I have seen this happen many times. Don't worry, we'll get him moving forward.

trizzo0309 · May 3, 2017

calicosrspecial said:
Hi, don't worry. This is a minor setback and as PushPurrCatPaws says, it is a learning experience. Cats are resilient. He will forget all about it in time.

There are a lot of positives with your girlfriend getting him out and about the room. I loved reading that. Some cats can take some time to build trust. The key is to be loving, non-threatening, and associate yourself with good things (food especially). He will come around.

We really want to take small steps with him. Build trust in the room then eventually introduce him to the other cats and expand his territory. It is a process.

PLEASE let us know how he does the next few days after this incident. How he acts will tell us a lot about where he is. He will rebound, the timing will matter. We always want to try to maximize the positive encounters and minimize the negative encounters.

We'll get through this. It is not the end of the world. Let's use food and what your girlfriend does to continue to build that trust. He may stay under the bed more for the next few days but he'll want to have interaction and he'll come out. Just take it slow with him and go at his pace. He will get over this, don't worry.

C calicosrspecial Yeah, I told her that I thought letting him out of the room wasn't such a good idea but she felt that him being cooped up in a room wasn't good for him and he should explore a little instead of being confined to a bedroom. I understand her point of view but thought this would probably happen.

Thanks a lot for the support. We'll see how the next couple days ago and I will provide you with an update.

Been One Week, New Cat Still Hiding/can't Touch

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