Been One Week, New Cat Still Hiding/can't Touch

[PushPurrCatPaws]

C calicosrspecial PushPurrCatPaws ... The last few nights we have slept in the same room with him and he's eating normally so that's great.

Breaking: He came out and played with the girlfriend! Girlfriend said he came to the edge under the bed, she gave him some catnip, he made little biscuits with his paw and played with a toy! After a few minutes he grabbed the toy in his mouth, ran back to the corner under the bed and continued playing alone. Girlfriend gave him her hand to sniff, he did so and was all cautious about it. That's the best thing I've heard. Maybe it will continue!

 

[trizzo0309]

C calicosrspecial PushPurrCatPaws May have erased our quality progress yesterday. In the middle of the night we heard scratching/noise behind our dresser. Turns out the cat wanted to explore back there and got stuck. We moved the dresser away from the wall and he ran under it to hide. Went to check on him an hour ago and I saw he was under the bed and just hissed at me. He could be scared, embarassed, hurt, I'm not sure but hopefully this doesn't screw up his playful progress yesterday.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Trizzo,

First of, it is GREAT he came out with your girlfriend. Next time, if possible, have some treats you/she can give to associate the human with something good.

I wouldn't worry, cats are resilient. It will be a temporary thing. When a cat gets into something like that, rescue, then just let be. They will calm down and revert back to normal (most likely being a little more cautious by the trouble area).

The fact that last few nights you sleep in the room with him and he came out is great. He is starting to realize you are not a threat but something good. It can be scary to go to a new place, not knowing what risks there are. Some cats adjust at different speeds.

Just take it slow with him. Just keep doing what we talked about. You are on a great path and he will come around. Just keeping building trust and associating with good things and going at his pace.

Don't worry, I expect everything to work out. We are here for you any time. Keep up the great work!!

 

[trizzo0309]

Trizzo,

First of, it is GREAT he came out with your girlfriend. Next time, if possible, have some treats you/she can give to associate the human with something good.

I wouldn't worry, cats are resilient. It will be a temporary thing. When a cat gets into something like that, rescue, then just let be. They will calm down and revert back to normal (most likely being a little more cautious by the trouble area).

The fact that last few nights you sleep in the room with him and he came out is great. He is starting to realize you are not a threat but something good. It can be scary to go to a new place, not knowing what risks there are. Some cats adjust at different speeds.

Just take it slow with him. Just keep doing what we talked about. You are on a great path and he will come around. Just keeping building trust and associating with good things and going at his pace.

Don't worry, I expect everything to work out. We are here for you any time. Keep up the great work!!

C calicosrspecial Thanks. He hissed at the girlfriend today when she came home from work so we're thinking he may have gotten hurt but we're not sure.

We'll stay patient I guess.

 

[calicosrspecial]

What were the circumstances behind the hissing? Did she approach him? Look at him? Reach for him? When he was under the bed? Cats can feel cornered easily. The good news is, he didn't swat or lash out. I am not too worried about a hiss but I would like to understand the circumstances just to make sure.

I am guessing he might still be a bit rattled by from the experience. So he may be more on edge. In those circumstances we want to give him a bit of room in order to recover. We don't want to be perceived as a negative.

Has he eaten? Has he used the litter box?

I am not at all worried. He will come around. Sometimes it does take some time but you will get there. Please make sure to go at his speed (cat speed) and not human speed. I know it is not easy but I truly believe it is helpful to build that trust.

 

[trizzo0309]

C calicosrspecial Thanks for following up. She came home from work, looked under the bed to see how he was doing and he just hissed at her and that was it. Later in the night she went to see him and he was just sleeping under the bed all chill.

Yeah he eats during the day when no one is around and uses the litter box a lot. He just doesn't want to leave from under the bed/corner of under the bed when us humans are around, except for the other day.

 

[calicosrspecial]

You are welcome.

It probably startled him a bit. After something that might be a bit out of the ordinary they can be a bit on edge. Since he is under the bed and kind of cornered he will be a bit more defensive. But he only hissed, he didn't get aggressive. I am worried. Especially since he seemed to have calmed down later in the night.

Just take it slow and at his pace.

He is still adjusting, it is great he is coming out to eat and using the litter box so it is not worrisome.

We just need to work slowly with him to build trust. Take it slow, use food, go at his pace. We had a little unfortunate incident but that will pass. You will make progress and he will respond to the love he is shown. Don't worry.

I will be with you every step of the way. We'll get there, don't worry. Feel free to update and ask anything anytime.

 

[duncanmac]

Try treats, lots of treats. Toss one under the bed near his feet so he doesn't have to move. The first time you do this, you might have to toss him a couple of treats and them leave him alone to investigate what you did. Do that one at a time as he eats each one a few times each night/morning for a few nights/mornings. Then toss the treat a little farther away - with the eventual goal of having him come within arms reach and eat out of your hands. It will take time, but he will come around and rush you for the treats in the end.

 

[trizzo0309]

Try treats, lots of treats. Toss one under the bed near his feet so he doesn't have to move. The first time you do this, you might have to toss him a couple of treats and them leave him alone to investigate what you did. Do that one at a time as he eats each one a few times each night/morning for a few nights/mornings. Then toss the treat a little farther away - with the eventual goal of having him come within arms reach and eat out of your hands. It will take time, but he will come around and rush you for the treats in the end.

C calicosrspecial Thank you for the suggestion! Today the girlfriend was playing with him under the bed with a string toy then he hissed, played for another minute then retreated further under the bed. Then he was rolling all on his back under the bed as if he looked like he wanted to play more but then fell asleep.

Note that he wanted to do all of this while under the bed and didn't come out.

We haven't tried kitty treats yet as the last time we tried giving them to him it was during his "not eating for 72 hours phase" so he ignored them. Maybe now that's he's slightly more comfortable we can try kitty treats?

Worth a shot I think but I just want him to get close enough to me so I can see his face! Almost two weeks and I haven't seen what he really looks like haha.

 

[duncanmac]

Are you still sleeping in that bedroom? That might be slowing him down from exploring and owning his own slice of the house. When I was acclimating my second (and shy) cat, I would leave piles of treats around to see that he was moving around and to tempt him to move around. My guys are very food motivated now, but when I first got the second cat, it took a week or so before he would even move towards his food when I was in his room.

He hid completely from me for two days - I couldn't find him at all after he escaped from his safe room, he also spent four days like this:

 

[trizzo0309]

Are you still sleeping in that bedroom? That might be slowing him down from exploring and owning his own slice of the house. When I was acclimating my second (and shy) cat, I would leave piles of treats around to see that he was moving around and to tempt him to move around. My guys are very food motivated now, but when I first got the second cat, it took a week or so before he would even move towards his food when I was in his room.

He hid completely from me for two days - I couldn't find him at all after he escaped from his safe room, he also spent four days like this:

C calicosrspecial D duncanmac Yeah we are still sleeping in the same room as him and have considered letting one cat in to make him feel comfortable that there's a friend around but we haven't done that yet.

He actually has been doing something very weird/interesting. When we go to bed or leave the room for a long time he has been dragging his toys/shirts on the ground/a dufflebag into his litterbox! I'm curious if this is a game he's playing like hide and seek or if he's got a loose screw.

Never heard of a cat doing this before haha.

 

[calicosrspecial]

We do not want to introduce another cat to him at this time. We need to get him to feel more comfortable first, to feel like he owns this territory, this bedroom. Then we will start the formal introduction process. But we have to build his trust and confidence first with the territory and the humans. This is very important.

I would definitely use treats or food to encourage him to come out. And to let him come out at his own pace. The hiss is a sign that we are invading his territory. We want him to view us as something good (food source) and not a threat. We want to stay low (not look down on him) and we don't want to really look into his eyes for now. We just want him to know there is no threat from a human (or another cat). We just have to take it slow and at his pace. I know it is difficult to do.

Honestly, I am not sure why he is dragging his toys/shirts into the litter box. I need to think more about that. Maybe a comfort/territorial thing? I don't know.

Does he eat and use the litter box during the night while you are sleeping? Or is it only when you are out of the room?

Please keep us up on how things are going. Getting stuck set him back a little but he will get over it.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

C calicosrspecial D duncanmac ...
He actually has been doing something very weird/interesting. When we go to bed or leave the room for a long time he has been dragging his toys/shirts on the ground/a dufflebag into his litterbox! I'm curious if this is a game he's playing like hide and seek or if he's got a loose screw.

Never heard of a cat doing this before haha.

I think he is dragging things he likes (toys, t-shirts) over to other things he likes (food dish, litterbox).

I actually see this as a good sign.

One of my own cat's fleece blankies that she likes often gets dragged down from the chaise lounge at night and hauled by her little 8-lb body into our bedroom, near one of her scratch posts. (It's hilarious! So cute. Not "cute" like putting your clothes in his litter box, though, lol!)

Were the shelter workers where your cat stayed the last 18 months mostly women/girls? Maybe that is why sometimes he seems to open up to your girlfriend more than you (assuming you are male)?

 

[trizzo0309]

We do not want to introduce another cat to him at this time. We need to get him to feel more comfortable first, to feel like he owns this territory, this bedroom. Then we will start the formal introduction process. But we have to build his trust and confidence first with the territory and the humans. This is very important.

I would definitely use treats or food to encourage him to come out. And to let him come out at his own pace. The hiss is a sign that we are invading his territory. We want him to view us as something good (food source) and not a threat. We want to stay low (not look down on him) and we don't want to really look into his eyes for now. We just want him to know there is no threat from a human (or another cat). We just have to take it slow and at his pace. I know it is difficult to do.

Honestly, I am not sure why he is dragging his toys/shirts into the litter box. I need to think more about that. Maybe a comfort/territorial thing? I don't know.

Does he eat and use the litter box during the night while you are sleeping? Or is it only when you are out of the room?

Please keep us up on how things are going. Getting stuck set him back a little but he will get over it.

C calicosrspecial Okay, sounds good. I tried using treats with him today including holding some in my hand and tossing a couple to him then leaving them on the floor and walking away. He wasn't interested in them and didn't care for them.

Good to know he views the bottom of the bed as his own space and we shouldn't invade it.

Today, the girlfriend went to the bedroom to feed him and she opened the can of food and he came crawling to the edge of the bed to eat and poked his head out. He started eating with about 1/3 of his body out from under the bed and even sniffed the girlfriend's hand before retreating back under the bed.

Maybe the cat is sexist but 100% of the breakthroughs have been with my girlfriend and not me around, then again, the previous rescue shelter owner was a woman so maybe he likes women?

I did a little reading online and the shirt thing in the litter box may have to do with taking the scent of us humans and bringing it to his scent the litter box/the food. A theory is that he wants us to start smelling like him to that's why he does it.

Unfortunately, he's very, very messy with his litter so he flings it all over the room and we need to vacuum our carpet asap but may scare him with the sound. It HAS to be done since it's a litter filled carpet but will probably freak him out.

Any ideas there?

 

[trizzo0309]

I think he is dragging things he likes (toys, t-shirts) over to other things he likes (food dish, litterbox).

I actually see this as a good sign.

One of my own cat's fleece blankies that she likes often gets dragged down from the chaise lounge at night and hauled by her little 8-lb body into our bedroom, near one of her scratch posts. (It's hilarious! So cute. Not "cute" like putting your clothes in his litter box, though, lol!)

Were the shelter workers where you cat stayed the last 18 months mostly women/girls? Maybe that is why sometimes he seems to open up to your girlfriend more than you (assuming you are male)?

PushPurrCatPaws This is a great theory. I think the same is true as well. Although I don't appreciate my dirty laundry in the litter box, I don't have much of a problem letting him use those clothes to feel comfortable. I am a male and the last rescue place was a one-woman show so maybe that makes sense why he likes the girlfriend more!

He's a really messy cat with his litter box and we are going to need to vacuum in there with him soon but fear the loud sound may freak him out but we don't know another way to get this nasty litter and feces outta the carpet. Any ideas? We are thinking of just doing it for a quick 5 min then it's done.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

It's often hard to know whether it's better for a cat to see and be around a vacuum while it's on or whether it's best to give them a spot or place that blocks their view of the noisemaker. I think it depends on the cat/kitten, and also, your own voice(s) and demeanor as you vacuum.

Even just bringing out The Monster (err, the vacuum) can freak out a skittish cat.

I'll tell you what, though. I've often found that if I touch people or things Milly might be afraid of, any objects, "noisemakers", etc., when right in her presence or in her view, she gets the impression that these are safe things (or, meant to be safe things, albeit sometimes noisy and jarring).

If my husband drops his iPhone on the floor with a crash, Milly may jerk away, startled... but she's a pretty brave and dominant kitty... I bend down and touch the phone that's on the floor and make interested, cooing noises. She sees that I am still very much alive after touching That Loud Thing On The Floor, and will slowly come over to sniff it out herself, and bat her paws at it.

If everyone freaks out at noises around the house, if there's a lot of stress at times, the cats pick that up and act, or hide, accordingly.

When we first got our kitten Milly, the apartment building we lived in was having its exterior painted, and the whole place was crawling with workers, noise, power lifts, boom truck, sanding machines, etc. It was awful. Two months of that! We'd have guys scraping the paint off near our windows, waving at us. Milly saw that we stayed calm, and actually would run over to the window to ogle them, right in the workers' faces. Brave soul. We even have trash trucks driving around a lot in our neighborhood (very loud at times), and early on we "trained" Milly to not be afraid of these noises by rushing to the windows ourselves and ooh- and aah-ing with excitement and joy (what an acting job!), like the trucks were birds or bugs outside & something to be happy about. She came to associate the noise with fun things (sigh), and now rushes to the windows to watch the green trash trucks every time they drive by. We call the trash truck(s), her "boyfriends".

 

[calicosrspecial]

The dragging the items makes sense PushPurrCatPaws. I too take it as a positive thinking about it. Scent association.

I would place the treats down then leave (he'll know they are from you). Then see if they are eaten later. I am not a big fan of throwing as it can be at this point a bit unsettling. We don't want to make any movements that could be seen as threatening, just normal calm, confident movements.

GREAT news that he behaved that way with your girlfriend. Food is a great motivator and the person with food (or good things) tends to be viewed as good by association. At this point I probably would put my hand for him to sniff, I would let him initiate any actions. I would just put the food down and either leave or sit on the ground and look at a wall. Then slowly sit closer. And watch how he reacts. I always go at the cat's speed.

Hahahaha, cats are sexist. Don't worry. Cats can sense our emotions so you could be giving of a vibe of some kind (maybe you are too cautious?) or you are acting differently. Just be calm and confident, don't initiate contact, don't look at him or be above him, let him know you are not a threat and are cool (act normal, calm and confident). He will warm up to you, just love him and be cool.

IF he is flinging litter around it is because he is trying desperately to cover his scent (probably so the other cats don't smell he is there). If I am right that is because he feels he doesn't own this territory yet.

I am worried about the vacuum sound as well. Is it at all possible to use tape to get the litter picked up? Or a rag to try to clean for now? I worry the vacuum will be too traumatic at this moment. We are making some progress, we don't want to introduce a negative into the situation if at all possible.

Just keep using food and being calm and confident around him. Please try not to look at him or force attention on him for now or go above him. He will come around, you too love him and he will respond to that love.

 

[trizzo0309]

C calicosrspecial PushPurrCatPaws Good idea in regards to the vacuum. There is a LOT of litter on the floor so maybe we'll give the tape a try.

Yeah he's having a weird day today. Hasn't eaten and has isolated himself to under the dresser only, when I go down to look at him underneath he just hisses at me then we leave. Food remains untouched thus far today.

It is the first "hot" day of the year at 80 degrees and we have a fan going in the room but maybe it's just an off-day for him.

It'll be two weeks since we got him on Monday and we have had some progress in regards to him eating overall and becoming more comfortable with the girlfriend but as far as him warming up to us and having him come out/let us pet him, still nothing aside from when we are not around.

Mentally tough transition from us.

 

[orange&white]

I dropped my kitten's litter box into a large cardboard box and taped three of the top flaps open and upright (one end flap down for her to get in and out). It made a 3-sided "wall" around her box to contain the cat litter she throws out of the box. Cuts down on cleaning.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Orange & White gives good advice on the litter box t contain some of it. There are also litter boxes with attachable sides and fully enclosed ones. Then there are mats that can be put down to catch most of the litter on their feet. Some ideas for the future.

Let's watch his eating. I am guessing it is the heat but we need to watch. Nothing else changed? It sounded like he was pretty good yesterday so maybe it is just the heat. The fan might have scared him also since it is "out of the norm".

I know this is hard on you both. It is not you. He is just having a transition issue which is not uncommon. I am totally confident you will get him comfortable. There will be steps, he will come out more (food at first then for social), then he'll start wanting to rub on you, then he'll probably head butt, then it will be time to get more social with him. Some cats take longer to accept petting versus others. Some cats are never lap sitters. It just depends. The key is to move at their pace and accept them for what they are.

It doesn't sound like he is stressed. Signs would be diarrhea or soft stools, throwing up, going outside of the litter box, things like that. He isn't doing that, correct?

Please keep us up on how things are going. We had a little breakthrough before the dresser incident so that put us back a little but it was a good sign he played with your girlfriend and ate a third of the way out from under the bed. Small steps. He will come around, keep using food as the primary motivator. Can you add a cat tree so he can go up (when you are not in the room) and so he can scratch it and get his scent on something (own something)? Also, if you can add a really warm and comfy bed for him.

Hang in there, he will come around. I will be with you every step of the way. The guy hit the jackpot finding a home with you.