Been One Week, New Cat Still Hiding/can't Touch

[calicosrspecial]

Please don't be too hard on her. It happened and we just move on and move forward. It is not the end of the world.

Being confined in the room is part of the process. If we open up too much territory then we risk increasing the insecurity. It is all baby steps, building on positives. He will be fine and suffer no ill effects from being in the room for a short period of time. Don't worry, I have done this often and I have never seen a cat have problems from the process.

We'll get you through this.

 

[trizzo0309]

C calicosrspecial Wow, so the girlfriend came home from work with a can of food and the cat came out normal to eat and let her pet him as if nothing happened! This is...unexpected.

 

[destinyz12]

T trizzo0309 What country are you in? This gives a pretty good description of how Feliway works:

Does feliway work? Vet reviews facial pheromones for cats, spray and diffuser.

 

[calicosrspecial]

AWESOME!!! WOW!!!

Really great news, I did not expect such a fast rebound!!

All will work out, I am not worried. He is coming around. Just take it slow and please go through the formal introduction process in order to introduce him to the existing cats. I am glad to help when we get there. There is still more work to do to get to that point.

But wow, this is great he rebounded so quickly. AWESOME!!!

 

[trizzo0309]

C calicosrspecial Yeah, it's fantastic. Today he's been super affectionate with the girlfriend and this morning the girlfriend sat on the floor to feed him while I was in the bed "sleeping" and he came out to eat and I saw him for the first time come out with my own eyes. I sat up and looking around the room to not make eye contact with him to scare him. He growled a couple times at me but I never made eye contact with him. Just looked around and slow blinked. He kept eating while I was there but was hesitant with me there and checking me out.

I think it went pretty darn well and will continue to do this going forward until he may isn't so hesitant around me. When I'm in the room alone with him he still doesn't want anything to do with me and hides but we're taking baby steps.

Maybe I can sit on the floor next to the girlfriend while she feeds him next time? Could work.

As far as cat integration goes, that won't be for a few weeks until he is 100% trusting of myself and the girlfriend first.

 

[trizzo0309]

T trizzo0309 What country are you in? This gives a pretty good description of how Feliway works:

Does feliway work? Vet reviews facial pheromones for cats, spray and diffuser.

destinyz12 Appreciate the link! I'm in the US.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

... . He kept eating while I was there but was hesitant with me there and checking me out.

I think it went pretty darn well and will continue to do this going forward until he may isn't so hesitant around me. When I'm in the room alone with him he still doesn't want anything to do with me and hides but we're taking baby steps.

Maybe I can sit on the floor next to the girlfriend while she feeds him next time? Could work. ...

You could try, but go slow... maybe give her another few times to feed him with you several feet away. lol! She needs to desensitize him to your presence.


It's going much better the last few days.

 

[calicosrspecial]

WOW, this is a really great update. His reaction to you was great. You showed him you are not a threat, you gave him eye kisses. Fantastic!! He ate with you there. You did a great job!!

I think it is an excellent plan to eventually sit next to you girlfriend and again be non-threatening. Then eventually have you give the food. I am with PushPurrCatPaws, maybe not now but in a few days. We just want to take it slow with him. I am highly confident he will come around.

He has done much better than I imagined after getting out into the house. FANTASTIC.

I am so glad that we will not start the formal introduction process anytime soon. We have to take this step by step.

Really well done. You two are doing a great job.

As always we are here if you have questions. Keep up the great work.

 

[duncanmac]

You could try, but go slow... maybe give her another few times to feed him with you several feet away. lol! She needs to desensitize him to your presence.


It's going much better the last few days.

You will probably find that once the ice has started to break, everything starts happening quicker and quicker, so don't despair that it will always go at a snails pace.

 

[trizzo0309]

C calicosrspecial Thank you for the kind words, the progress has been pretty nice lately.

Today was a really cool day, actually. I went in to feed him before I left for work and I cracked open the can of food and sat down to scoop it into his bowl then all of a sudden I turn around and see him completely come out from under the bed!

Naturally, I was in complete panic as I have never even touched this cat let alone have him get THIS close to me. He immediately started making cookies with his paws as I scooped the food into his bowl and he came right to my hand to rub up against me! I actually was able to pet him for a few minutes and rub his face!

It was interesting though in that he would rub up against me to pet him but then growl a little bit while doing it then immediately want more petting. At one point he turned and straight hissed at me so I backed up a little but then he just came back over to me 5 seconds later to have me pet him more.

I think he wanted the attention but realized it was me petting him so he was like "woah, guy" but he liked it overall. There was a loud noise outside that led him to scurry under the bed then I left for work so all in all, that was pretty sweet!

Definitely didn't expect that to happen at all I actually got to pet my own cat, felt great lol

 

[trizzo0309]

You could try, but go slow... maybe give her another few times to feed him with you several feet away. lol! She needs to desensitize him to your presence.


It's going much better the last few days.

PushPurrCatPaws Good call! Something to definitely consider.

 

[calicosrspecial]

WOW!!! AWESOME!!! HUGE progress!! LOVE IT!!

That does happen, it is to say "Hey, I am in control, you just go at my pace". But he loved you, you are in!!

Please keep feeding him and go at his pace. Build that trust.

But this is great. Anytime you are cool to him, giving him good things (food) and not being a threat it reinforces that you are a "good guy" in his eyes.

Always remember to stay as calm and confident around him, that will help him feel comfortable and confident.

AWESOME, made my weekend, really well done!! Keep up the great work!!

 

[LotsOfFur]

That's fantastic! Your patience is paying off! I think his growling and hissing is still him being nervous & his own internal struggle of wanting your attention and still figuring it all out!

You responded appropriately to his signals and I'm so happy for all of you!

 

[trizzo0309]

LotsOfFur Thank you! The kind words are appreciated and encouraging.

 

[tabbytom]

Bravo!

Glad that you went as planned and did not give up. Continue your routine and make sure you get 100% stamp of approval from him.

Isn't it a great joy for you?

 

[trizzo0309]

C calicosrspecial When do you think the cat integration process should begin? Today we took a blanket one of our other cats sleeps on and laid the new cats food/water bowl on top of it so he gets the smell of the other cats while eating.

The girlfriend thinks that maybe putting our nicest cat in there to say hi may not be such a bad thing as she doesn't want the new cat feeling lonely and isolated in the bedroom. She thinks meeting another cat may be helpful to him warming up and eventually wanting to explore more. Thoughts?

 

[calicosrspecial]

I think when he is totally confident in his room. Then we can start the formal introduction process.

It is way to early now to do any scent swapping (putting the blanket in with him with other cat's scents on it) and it is extremely too early to have him meet any cats face to face.

We need him to feel secure and that he owns that room before we can start feeding him and the resident cats on opposite sides of the closed door. So please let me know when he is confident in that room then we will do what is in the links below.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/the-ultimate-yet-simplified-guide-to-introducing-cats

A Simple Little Trick to Use During New Cat Introductions

Cat Care

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/

The formal introduction process above is very important. It will help reduce problems in the future. We'll know how things are going and be able to speed up the process IF the cats are doing well. But it really is a process and we don't want to rush it.

I am happy to help you introduce the cats. I have done a lot of them (and have helped people who rushed it). It is a lot easier to go through it from the beginning than the clean up a rushed introduction. The key is to always associate the other cats with something good and to limit any negative encounters. So we always want every interaction whether via smell/scent, sight, or contact to be a positive experience.

Let's keep building his confidence in his room for now.

I hope this helps. Don't worry, I will walk you through the process. Keep up the great work.

 

[trizzo0309]

C calicosrspecial Yeah, we're having serious issues with this process now.

I'm fine with letting him warm up in the room and get comfortable overtime. I also feel very guilty having him confined to a room for three weeks.

The girlfriend feels very guilty having him in this room and she wants to expedite this process ASAP. We tried the scent swapping the other day and that went fine then the girlfriend brought our nicest cat in there for a meet and greet and it went fine, I guess.

It's just led to nothing but arguments and frustration over how to handle this cat. Incredibly frustrating and dividing. She wants him comfortable now and I want to wait, she wants to expedite the process and feels immensely guilty.

I don't know how to please both parties.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I totally understand. No one should feel guilty, you are doing a great job with him and leading him down the path to a great life so far. Please trust me. There is no reason either one of you feel guilty.

Introductions typically take a month to up to a year. During the site swapping process the cat does get out into the other territory but they do have to stay in the room for the most part of the introduction process. With that said, I have never found it to be a negative for a cat. Cats are resilient.

What is negative is rushing an introduction, not having them get along, getting fights, and a cat going to a shelter or rescue. That is not what anyone wants. The stakes could be that high unfortunately.

You are on the right side of this discussion. We need to figure out how to convince her that the formal introduction process is needed. If she is right we can expedite the process. But if we rush it and negative feelings build then serious problems can happen ranging from just not getting along to fighting to cats not using the litter box. I have helped so many people after "the cat is let out of the bag" so to speak and it is challenging. You are on the front end so we have more options to craft the process in the most positive way. If she is right the introduction process will be fast and having him in a room for another month will not any negative repercussions on him. I have had cats go through the introduction process for a year with no lasting negative repercussions. But if she is wrong and it is rushed and they don't get along it will be very stressful and challenging.

Cats take on our emotions so the more stress you two have the more stress the cats will have. A stressed cat is more likely to have behavioral problems. so PLEASE try to be as calm and confident as possible. I know it is easier said than done but it really is very important.

I think he is more comfortable than your girlfriend thinks. Cats are territorial so the more territorial security they have the more comfortable they are. That is why we want him to "own" that room then build off that. If they are territorially insecure (in unowned territory with other cats that may be predators) then they are actually less comfortable.

I will help you whatever route is taken but I highly suggest the formal introduction process because in my heart I know that is best for everyone involved.

 

[duncanmac]

Don't feel guilty about having him in a small room, we started our second cat out in a tiny bathroom - maybe 5x10 feet - and he made it bigger by climbing around. One thing we did do before integrating the two cats was to split the house in half so that the new cat got the downstairs and could roam around and expand his territory (at night at first, then during the day once we were confident in the doubled baby gates). Can you do something similar with your layout?

When you are out of the room, put a few piles of treats around to entice the cat out and also so the you know he is not just hiding but is exploring a bit.