Venting....

[Lari]

I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I agree with catsknowme that it sounds like there may be some form of neurodivergence going on with your nephew. Is he in school? If not yet, hopefully they'll push for testing in kindergarten. I'm full in the tantrum stage right now, and not giving in is harder than it was with my students, but I'm trying to think long term.

Happy Belated Birthday, and I hope 38 and 2023 bring you good things.

 

[terestrife]

You are in the right place to vent! Because of your allergies, you don't feel well and that maximizes all the external stresses. Plus, nobody wants to feel "stuck" in a situation, especially with all the various dynamics that you are dealing with. It sounds like your nephew might have something like autism going on; your SIL might be so overwhelmed that she "takes the path of least resistance" and gives in to the demands rather than establishing and enforcing boundaries. I hope that your immunotherapy works; my vet's tech did some process with a chiropractor that exposes the person to the allergen & then they avoid the allergen for a number of hours and then the patient is "cured". It has worked for the tech very well and I know several other people who have successfully used it although it sounds "weird" to me. I surely hopes that it works for you. Prayers and vibes that life gets better for you

I do understand that there has to be something more going on with my nephew. His doctor isn't concerned just because he can answer when called and say a few words. I'm trying not to get involved, my SIL hasn't even put him in speech therapy and I'm trying not to make it my problem. It's not easy coming home and wanting to relax and having to hear his screaming and crying. I remind myself that it's his home more than it is mine and try to just focus on treating him with kindness.

Do you happen to know what the name of that treatment was? I've only heard of allergy shots or drops that you put under your tongue. I was thinking of trying the drops. I've heard that both can take a few years to have a true effect. I couldnt find any info online on a treatment that is quick like that.

I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I agree with catsknowme that it sounds like there may be some form of neurodivergence going on with your nephew. Is he in school? If not yet, hopefully they'll push for testing in kindergarten. I'm full in the tantrum stage right now, and not giving in is harder than it was with my students, but I'm trying to think long term.

Happy Belated Birthday, and I hope 38 and 2023 bring you good things.

He is in pre-k. The only thing the teacher says is to put him in speech therapy. For some reason, my sister-in-law keeps putting off doing that. She always has an excuse. Sometimes I think the speech delay is what is causing him the most problems. My SIL took him to the doctor, but since he responds to his own name and can say a few jumbled words they decided not to have him tested.

I do understand that it's easier to give in when they are having a tantrum. I've been taking care of kids since I was 11. So I tried both methods. Sometimes giving in leads to a child in elementary school who will rip off her clothes and scream hysterically. This same niece would kick and scream if you tried to hand her off to anyone else. LOL I have seen the crazy side of raising kids. But I think I am just tired. I've had enough of dealing with other people's kids.

Thank you for your good wishes. I am hoping this year leads me to some kind of improvement. I haven't given up despite my negativity lately.

 

[Lari]

That doesn't sound like much of a pediatrician if at 4 they're okay with a few words. Mine asked at J's 21 month appointment if she was using two word phrases yet and how many words she had (she wasn't using phrases yet, but started to about a month later, so she's still on trajectory).

 

[terestrife]

That doesn't sound like much of a pediatrician if at 4 they're okay with a few words. Mine asked at J's 21 month appointment if she was using two word phrases yet and how many words she had (she wasn't using phrases yet, but started to about a month later, so she's still on trajectory).

I'm glad your little one is doing well. It's not easy to have a speech-delayed child. I helped raise my 12-year-old niece and had to struggle to get her to talk as much as possible before she started school. She tried to get her son ready but she didn't do enough. My niece was answering questions by the time she started school, her son answers questions by saying "yeah" repeatedly.

we suspect that all of my SILs kids are speech-delayed due to the nausea medication that she took during her pregnancies. She has a condition where her pregnancy symptoms are really severe.

 

[tarasgirl06]

*Prayers* for your sweet cats, and for you to be able to make some good changes in your life ASAP.

 

[terestrife]

I have had the worse 3 weeks of my life. I thought I had finally went from having allergies to my cats to going into full-on asthma. My sister and niece had an anaphylactic reaction to my cats. So I feared it was finally my time. I started wearing n95 masks in my bedroom. I researched building a catio if it got really bad. I texted a niece that I only see once a year. She has a bunch of animals and she spends so much money on them to keep them healthy and safe. I texted her in desperation if she would take them if the treatments I seek dont work out. She is in the process of renovating but agreed that in 2 months she could take them.

I went to my regular doctor who listened to my lungs and did an Xray, and an EKG for the chest pain. Everything came out well. Went to an allergist, both lung function tests came out fine. He kind of looked at me like I was crazy when he listened to my lungs. Said he would do the tests just in case. No asthma. I called my insurance nurse's emergency line and based on my symptoms they told me I could wait to get to my doctor. I have had this happen to me before and would rush to the er, and every single time I was fine. Chest pains and couldn't breathe in.

Finally, I had a revelation after asking Dr. Google for help. It said if you have difficulty getting air OUT then you have asthma, but if you have difficulty getting air IN then it might be heartburn. I have had heartburn for months that I have managed with tums, I would be careful not to sleep right after eating. Then I got careless, I started going to bed after dinner only waiting 1-2 hours. I keep waking up with a burning throat and chest. A weird cough that comes and goes. I had this horrible sensation that I couldn't fill my lungs with air. I would get dizzy and started doing breathing exercises that I saw on youtube. I sounded like a train puffing for air.

I started taking omeprazole and mixed it with tums. Yesterday I didn't have to do the breathing exercises that I saw on youtube. But still breathless. Today my lungs feel amazing. Finally, I feel like I can breathe. All this freaking time it was heartburn! I am so upset, how is that even possible? I am making an appointment with my gastro just to be sure. But nothing else worked in these 3 weeks. I then read online that untreated heartburn can splash to your lungs. I am in shock right now. I thought I was going into anaphylactic shock. My doctor prescribed me anxiety medication thinking that's all it was.

Edit: I am not always the best pet mom, but I fought hard and was willing to rush from doctor to doctor to keep them. Even went to an allergist on a Saturday during a long weekend. Even considered getting on allergy meds with terrifying side effects of causing hallucinations, and mental health issues. These cats better not give me any sass for a long time.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I have had the worse 3 weeks of my life. I thought I had finally went from having allergies to my cats to going into full-on asthma. My sister and niece had an anaphylactic reaction to my cats. So I feared it was finally my time. I started wearing n95 masks in my bedroom. I researched building a catio if it got really bad. I texted a niece that I only see once a year. She has a bunch of animals and she spends so much money on them to keep them healthy and safe. I texted her in desperation if she would take them if the treatments I seek dont work out. She is in the process of renovating but agreed that in 2 months she could take them.

I went to my regular doctor who listened to my lungs and did an Xray, and an EKG for the chest pain. Everything came out well. Went to an allergist, both lung function tests came out fine. He kind of looked at me like I was crazy when he listened to my lungs. Said he would do the tests just in case. No asthma. I called my insurance nurse's emergency line and based on my symptoms they told me I could wait to get to my doctor. I have had this happen to me before and would rush to the er, and every single time I was fine. Chest pains and couldn't breathe in.

Finally, I had a revelation after asking Dr. Google for help. It said if you have difficulty getting air OUT then you have asthma, but if you have difficulty getting air IN then it might be heartburn. I have had heartburn for months that I have managed with tums, I would be careful not to sleep right after eating. Then I got careless, I started going to bed after dinner only waiting 1-2 hours. I keep waking up with a burning throat and chest. A weird cough that comes and goes. I had this horrible sensation that I couldn't fill my lungs with air. I would get dizzy and started doing breathing exercises that I saw on youtube. I sounded like a train puffing for air.

I started taking omeprazole and mixed it with tums. Yesterday I didn't have to do the breathing exercises that I saw on youtube. But still breathless. Today my lungs feel amazing. Finally, I feel like I can breathe. All this freaking time it was heartburn! I am so upset, how is that even possible? I am making an appointment with my gastro just to be sure. But nothing else worked in these 3 weeks. I then read online that untreated heartburn can splash to your lungs. I am in shock right now. I thought I was going into anaphylactic shock. My doctor prescribed me anxiety medication thinking that's all it was.

Edit: I am not always the best pet mom, but I fought hard and was willing to rush from doctor to doctor to keep them. Even went to an allergist on a Saturday during a long weekend. Even considered getting on allergy meds with terrifying side effects of causing hallucinations, and mental health issues. These cats better not give me any sass for a long time.

Yes, bad and I would think, very scary. BUT you've found out it ISN'T something very serious and that it can be helped, possibly with something that will truly result in your feeling a lot better.
HOLD onto those sweet cats! Cats are very sensitive and intuitive; they feel your vibes like no human could ever hope to, and they give unconditional loyalty and love like no human ever could. When things are at their worst, cats have always been THE reason I've come through and am still here today.

 

[terestrife]

Yes, bad and I would think, very scary. BUT you've found out it ISN'T something very serious and that it can be helped, possibly with something that will truly result in your feeling a lot better.
HOLD onto those sweet cats! Cats are very sensitive and intuitive; they feel your vibes like no human could ever hope to, and they give unconditional loyalty and love like no human ever could. When things are at their worst, cats have always been THE reason I've come through and am still here today.

I agree with you, it's why I have fought so hard to keep them. They've helped me keep my sanity through the years. Especially after the passing of my mom.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I agree with you, it's why I have fought so hard to keep them. They've helped me keep my sanity through the years. Especially after the passing of my mom.

Yes...and YOU are their world, their loved one, their defense and their lives.

 

[Lari]

That sounds terrifying, but I'm so glad it was something manageable!

 

[terestrife]

That sounds terrifying, but I'm so glad it was something manageable!

It's been scary. For me to even consider rehoming my babies it would have to be bad. I still have to go to my gastro to see if I did any damage to my lungs. I am feeling better, but my lungs still don't feel like they are 100% healed. I never knew heart burn could reach the lungs.

 

[terestrife]

Look how good Elsa is doing. Her fur started growing in. She isnt waking me up with the sound of her scratching her neck in desperation. Shes happy and healthy.

Do you guys know what my SIL told me after the surgery? This was during the time that I had breathing issues and thought I might have to rehome my cats. She said it sucked that I wasted money on getting her the surgery if I'm going to rehome her anyway. If she only knew that I contacted a niece that I barely talked to and offered to pay fully for their needs if she would just give them a home. I am struggling financially, but the most important thing to me is that they are taken care of whether or not they are with me.

 

[tarasgirl06]

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Look how good Elsa is doing. Her fur started growing in. She isnt waking me up with the sound of her scratching her neck in desperation. Shes happy and healthy.

Do you guys know what my SIL told me after the surgery? This was during the time that I had breathing issues and thought I might have to rehome my cats. She said it sucked that I wasted money on getting her the surgery if I'm going to rehome her anyway. If she only knew that I contacted a niece that I barely talked to and offered to pay fully for their needs if she would just give them a home. I am struggling financially, but the most important thing to me is that they are taken care of whether or not they are with me.

Sorry to be blunt (NOT, really) but your SIL is what my dad would call a strange bird. Lacking in compassion is not, unfortunately, too uncommon in these times, but it does indicate some real problems in the person.
YOU are right. She is very, very wrong.
And Elsa is lovely!

 

[terestrife]

Sorry to be blunt (NOT, really) but your SIL is what my dad would call a strange bird. Lacking in compassion is not, unfortunately, too uncommon in these times, but it does indicate some real problems in the person.
YOU are right. She is very, very wrong.
And Elsa is lovely!

I agree. She has had dogs that she cares about, but there are some people that become parents and then see their animals as just pets, and no part of the family. In her defense, I will say that she does try to understand. And she helps me take care of them when I am not feeling well, or if I go on a trip. She's not obligated to do. She was the one that defended me when my sister and my brother (the brother SIL is married to) wanted me to get rid of my cats and were judging me for wanting to keep them.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I agree. She has had dogs that she cares about, but there are some people that become parents and then see their animals as just pets, and no part of the family. In her defense, I will say that she does try to understand. And she helps me take care of them when I am not feeling well, or if I go on a trip. She's not obligated to do. She was the one that defended me when my sister and my brother (the brother SIL is married to) wanted me to get rid of my cats and were judging me for wanting to keep them.

My sister (not biological, but sister nonetheless) passed of breast cancer and someone close to her told me that her mother did not care about her daughter's beloved dogs. I have not been able to find out what happened to them, but I was, and am still, shocked to hear that. I'm not a "dog person" at all, but my sis's mom had a dog, and was heartbroken when the dog went missing. I got involved, sharing on social media in an effort to get people to be alert and hopefully find the dog.
For me, family members of those I care about, of whatever species, are included in my circle of caring.

 

[maggie101]

I keep having partial seizures and cannot drive for 3 months but time to start driving keeps increasing,so, stuck at home. My mom insists on taking me to work. 82 yrs old and caretaker for my dad. I think I've mentioned this before but it keeps happening. She lives an hr away!

 

[tarasgirl06]

I keep having partial seizures and cannot drive for 3 months but time to start driving keeps increasing,so, stuck at home. My mom insists on taking me to work. 82 yrs old and caretaker for my dad. I think I've mentioned this before but it keeps happening. She lives an hr away!

Easy does it, lessen the stress and go with the flow. This, too, shall pass. And all the other cliches containing more than a grain of truth.

 

[maggie101]

One day partial will stop. Seizures I have had since I was 7. Thanks for the confidence!

 

[terestrife]

I keep having partial seizures and cannot drive for 3 months but time to start driving keeps increasing,so, stuck at home. My mom insists on taking me to work. 82 yrs old and caretaker for my dad. I think I've mentioned this before but it keeps happening. She lives an hr away!

I hope you feel better soon! Your mom sounds like a pretty amazing lady.

 

[maggie101]

terestrife , I just realized this thread is about you! Hope you feel better soon !