Venting....

tarasgirl06

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Been having a weird situation at work. A girl left because she works with the clinical director. I am helping in her place since she left without notice. Word around the office is that she got sick of dealing with him, she asked for a raise and they laughed in her face. Lots of crazy stories that no one knows what is true. But one thing I do know is that everyone hates the clinical director. I have one faculty member tells me that she will help me but she won't do anything for him. Another one told me my boss needs to learn how to do his job (after I asked this faculty for help.) I hear from everyone else all the things that he has done. Not sure what to believe.

Before i learned of all of this i didn't really like him. He tends to smile with his teeth only. I sensed he was two-faced. Now that i am helping him i see how the things he does don't add up. He tells me he will handle all the student issues. But then i see him emailing the students telling them to reach out to me for help instead of him. He has no idea what this girl was doing, and he seems to be trying. He says all the right things but even though he did one training meeting with me. He hasn't gone in and actually used the two softwares we are learning about.

And even though he was confused after the meeting he seemed to think that I would pick up on how to use the software once. I keep telling him I won't learn so fast after a quick training. And he straight up told me that I have to learn how to use the software programs fast because he will be too busy to do anything. But then he also tells me that he will help me and to not stress out. I have told him that i don't learn well when someone teaches me something verbally, but he keeps talking for an hour and seems confused jumping from topic to topic.

I am just helping but he acts like im his assistant. We had to send evaluations to a hospital and instead of figuring out how to do it himself, after work hours he kept texting me and the faculty for help. I ignored him and so did the faculty member. He then had the faculty do it first thing in the morning. He loves asking other people to do things for him. Instead of going into the software and calling e-value for help.

I've told my boss how pushy he is being but my boss just tells me to do the training. My boss told me the clinical director has no idea what he is doing, and he had no clue what his assistant is doing. But I don't think my boss cares because he is leaving for another job.

Today I was trying to help a girl because the clinical director kept pushing her off on me. Another faculty member had to spend two hours with me figuring out all the steps to get her cleared for her rotations. I think he felt bad because he saw that i was close to crying. Even he was confused with all the different steps you have to remember and we called their helpline 3 times. You guys know I suffer from anxiety and mental health issues that I never addressed. This entire situation makes me feel lost and unstable. I have never felt this way with any other boss.

The job the girl had paid well and would be a pay bump. But I am already feeling anxious after a few weeks. I don't know if I want to be stuck with this guy for 2 years. I hate being trained by someone that has no idea what he is talking about. And having to watch my back because of everything I am hearing. But at the same time, it is scary to think about losing out on a chance like this.

This is the first time I have genuinely disliked a coworker. I dread thinking he will show up at my cubicle and start talking in circles. My boss is only around part-time and doesn't really care about the mess in the office.

Anyway just wrote in because i feel conflicted about all of this. I'm not the best at speaking up in life.
(Sorta) Been there done that. One boss was so antisocial that a LOT of people left and that boss finally got investigated to find out why. I was gone from there by then so I don't know what happened with him, but he was definitely a big problem.
Another job I had, a new girl was hired. I was Asst. to the VP and she was hired to be the Asst. to the Pres. She started out real quiet and sweet and in no time was lording it over everyone, treating me like her slave gopher, and having people fired. I was the last one that I know of. She stole a sweater of mine, and my black book. I went to the Pres. about it and he said no way are you getting them back or working here again. She was a barracuda.
My dad worked for years under a similar type boss -- VERY unpleasant.
Really sad that people like that don't get attitude adjustment and written up like three strikes, you're history.
 

terestrife

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(Sorta) Been there done that. One boss was so antisocial that a LOT of people left and that boss finally got investigated to find out why. I was gone from there by then so I don't know what happened with him, but he was definitely a big problem.
Another job I had, a new girl was hired. I was Asst. to the VP and she was hired to be the Asst. to the Pres. She started out real quiet and sweet and in no time was lording it over everyone, treating me like her slave gopher, and having people fired. I was the last one that I know of. She stole a sweater of mine, and my black book. I went to the Pres. about it and he said no way are you getting them back or working here again. She was a barracuda.
My dad worked for years under a similar type boss -- VERY unpleasant.
Really sad that people like that don't get attitude adjustment and written up like three strikes, you're history.
That is crazy. I can't believe she got away with all of that. I had never experienced anything like this before. I had no idea people like this get away with things. Why are companies defending people like that? My boss knows the girl left because of the clinical director, and I told him about the issues I am having. His advice is for me to deal with it by sticking up for myself, or to just become friends with him. I am still shocked he told me that. After the clinical director was rushing me to learn faster I told both him and my boss that im not going to learn everything in a 30 minute training session. You know what my boss tells me? To just do more trainings. When its not even my job to take care of the clinical side of out department. The clinical director should be the one dealing with all of this.
 

tarasgirl06

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That is crazy. I can't believe she got away with all of that. I had never experienced anything like this before. I had no idea people like this get away with things. Why are companies defending people like that? My boss knows the girl left because of the clinical director, and I told him about the issues I am having. His advice is for me to deal with it by sticking up for myself, or to just become friends with him. I am still shocked he told me that. After the clinical director was rushing me to learn faster I told both him and my boss that im not going to learn everything in a 30 minute training session. You know what my boss tells me? To just do more trainings. When its not even my job to take care of the clinical side of out department. The clinical director should be the one dealing with all of this.
My friend, that is Life Lesson 101 and I learned it at my parents' knees. My mother's brother was hit-and-runned and died after 9 months in the hospital with a broken back. The killer was known but never did one day in prison or suffered any other form of punitive action for killing a child and depriving a family of part of its income (he was struck while doing his paper route). I won't even start on my father's side of the family and the things they endured! While nominally "the land of the free" in reality, stuff like this is all part of how life goes for some of us.
I was also paid far less in the job where my co-worker got me fired than a newbie I helped train. Why? I think you can figure it out. I did several times the work, but the only thanks I got for it was more work.
 

terestrife

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I don't get why they do this either. It's a good way to lose quality people.
Its definitely increased my desire to leave. I still cant believe my boss told me to become friends with the guy that makes people leave.

My friend, that is Life Lesson 101 and I learned it at my parents' knees. My mother's brother was hit-and-runned and died after 9 months in the hospital with a broken back. The killer was known but never did one day in prison or suffered any other form of punitive action for killing a child and depriving a family of part of its income (he was struck while doing his paper route). I won't even start on my father's side of the family and the things they endured! While nominally "the land of the free" in reality, stuff like this is all part of how life goes for some of us.
I was also paid far less in the job where my co-worker got me fired than a newbie I helped train. Why? I think you can figure it out. I did several times the work, but the only thanks I got for it was more work.
Im so sorry about your uncle. Thats terrible. :alright:

Ive never had to be in a toxic work environment so this is a first for me. i just hope i can find something soon.
 

terestrife

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Been up since 2:00 am. Had a weird cough attack ( i have general allergies and Eosinophilic esophagitis, so coughing is normal.) I got up ate some ricola and drank some water. I went to lie down and when i would breathe out i could hear a snoring sound coming from my chest. Ive been so freaked out that I cant sleep. My breathing is fine.

A few months ago I went to the ER with shortness of breath and everything was fine. My lungs were fine. My allergies have even improved because i got rid of my air purifier (which was making things worse oddly enough.) And im using flonase.

I might go to the Dr tomorrow. I am hoping my allergies haven't come back. I have this awful fear of dying suffocated. My mother died of pancreatic cancer. One time she woke up complaining that she couldn't breathe. She had fluid in her lungs and had to be intubated. I still remember seeing her with tubes down her throat. So I am up crying at 4:30 am remembering her fear and panic. Since my breathing is fine I am going to work tomorrow but might leave early to go to the dr.

I have calmed down because I can actually breathe. But I do get breathless if I lie down. I am hoping my allergies arent making a comeback after I have had so many months of feeling great. I know its not good for me to have the cats in my room, but Flonase has been helping tremendously. I rarely even get an itchy nose anymore. I do get breathless, but that could be anxiety.

Anyway, just writing here because everyone i know is asleep and i was freaking out.
 

tarasgirl06

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Been up since 2:00 am. Had a weird cough attack ( i have general allergies and Eosinophilic esophagitis, so coughing is normal.) I got up ate some ricola and drank some water. I went to lie down and when i would breathe out i could hear a snoring sound coming from my chest. Ive been so freaked out that I cant sleep. My breathing is fine.

A few months ago I went to the ER with shortness of breath and everything was fine. My lungs were fine. My allergies have even improved because i got rid of my air purifier (which was making things worse oddly enough.) And im using flonase.

I might go to the Dr tomorrow. I am hoping my allergies haven't come back. I have this awful fear of dying suffocated. My mother died of pancreatic cancer. One time she woke up complaining that she couldn't breathe. She had fluid in her lungs and had to be intubated. I still remember seeing her with tubes down her throat. So I am up crying at 4:30 am remembering her fear and panic. Since my breathing is fine I am going to work tomorrow but might leave early to go to the dr.

I have calmed down because I can actually breathe. But I do get breathless if I lie down. I am hoping my allergies arent making a comeback after I have had so many months of feeling great. I know its not good for me to have the cats in my room, but Flonase has been helping tremendously. I rarely even get an itchy nose anymore. I do get breathless, but that could be anxiety.

Anyway, just writing here because everyone i know is asleep and i was freaking out.
*PRAYERS* for your health and for you to be strong. May that never happen to you again!
 

terestrife

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Thank you both. I have been feeling better. The doctor prescribed me an inhaler in case it happens again. I might head to a specialist to see if they can help me better.

For the first time in years (about 10 years) i am going on vacation. I feel nervous because my sister in law will look after my cats. They havent been without me before. So theyll be on their own for 3 days (with my sister in law checking in once a day.) I am nervous that theyll be scared and lonely. But at the same time itll be nice to finally do something for myself. My sister in law can walk by my bedroom window, when shes outside with the kids and look in on them throughout the day.
 

tarasgirl06

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Thank you both. I have been feeling better. The doctor prescribed me an inhaler in case it happens again. I might head to a specialist to see if they can help me better.

For the first time in years (about 10 years) i am going on vacation. I feel nervous because my sister in law will look after my cats. They havent been without me before. So theyll be on their own for 3 days (with my sister in law checking in once a day.) I am nervous that theyll be scared and lonely. But at the same time itll be nice to finally do something for myself. My sister in law can walk by my bedroom window, when shes outside with the kids and look in on them throughout the day.
May it all go well! May you enjoy your time and may your sweet cats be safe, well cared for, and comfortable.
 

terestrife

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Hello,

Its been a few months. Checking in today when I am feeling really down. Elsa developed a bump that will have to be surgically removed. I blame myself. I took the advice of my vet that told me I should try expressing the blackheads that Elsa had. She got some blackheads from a collar that she had a weird reaction to. Spent money to see a derm and she recommended surgery. and I am stuck doing the surgery with my regular vet. I don't know who else to turn to. She had a tooth removal with him before, so I feel I can trust him as a surgeon. I am so upset because I thought I had a really great vet. if you look him up online he has incredible reviews. She also has a recurring issue with her white blood cells and he doesn't know why.

And today I got the news that Kitty is having issues with her kidneys. I wasn't expecting her to have any issues. She has been doing great. I got her to start eating less, and moving more. I made my bedroom more cat friendly so they have multiple places to climb. I just broke down at my vet's office and they are waiting to tell me more until they have her urine sample for further tests.

I am worried about them and worried because the cost of keeping them both healthy just keeps increasing. I don't like mentioning money. But the reality is that I am not rich. I feel bad because I feel like I have failed as their mom. Thank god for the lady at my vets office who calmed me down. I was having a panic attack at my vet's office today when I took Kitty in.

These are the emails my vet sent me:

Good afternoon. Attached you'll find the latest blood work on else. As in previous bloodwork's the white blood cell count is extremely decreased. Some of those other changes in the hematology portion were also present on the previous samples. As previously discussed in the absence of any clinical signs I'm not overly concerned with these decreases but they are remarkable. Since this is just an ongoing trend I'm not suggesting we go to extreme diagnostics but this is as low as they have been since we started tracking them. Other than that everything else looks fantastic. The fecal sample was too dry to have a test performed on it. We would need a new sample to complete the wellness panel. Let me know your thoughts and let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

Good afternoon. Attached you'll find the wellness results. There were some abnormalities that are concerning. 2 of the 3 parameters that we used to assess kidney health came back elevated. The SDMA and creatinine were both outside the normal range. This usually indicates some form of kidney insufficiency. We really would like to correlate a urine analysis to further define the kidney health. Can we bring in a urine sample sometime this week? If not we can bring her in and try to collect 1 directly from her bladder. I would like the urine analyzed and then we can come up with a plan for her. Let me know your thoughts.
 

terestrife

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Took Kitty in for her urine test. Took three visits to finally get a urine sample. Just waiting now to hear from the vet, and trying to figure out how to change diet to help her. I have decided so much time and effort to home cook for them thinking its healthier. And she still ends up with kidney issues.
 

tarasgirl06

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Took Kitty in for her urine test. Took three visits to finally get a urine sample. Just waiting now to hear from the vet, and trying to figure out how to change diet to help her. I have decided so much time and effort to home cook for them thinking its healthier. And she still ends up with kidney issues.
How old is Kitty?
If she does need fluid therapy, you can learn how to do sub-Q (subcutaneous fluid injections of Ringers Solution) at home. I did. It is not difficult and I can tell you more if you need.
If expenses get steep you can look into something like CareCredit or even start a GoFundMe. Many people take advantage of these.
*PRAYERS* for you all. :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::hangin::hearthrob::hearthrob:
 

terestrife

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How old is Kitty?
If she does need fluid therapy, you can learn how to do sub-Q (subcutaneous fluid injections of Ringers Solution) at home. I did. It is not difficult and I can tell you more if you need.
If expenses get steep you can look into something like CareCredit or even start a GoFundMe. Many people take advantage of these.
*PRAYERS* for you all. :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::hangin::hearthrob::hearthrob:
Kitty is 10 years old. and thank you, i will let you know if that is what the vet suggests.
 

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I'm sorry to hear Elsa needs surgery. I saw your other thread, and while I don't know anything about kidney disease in cats, I'd wait to talk to your vet again.

I hope other things are going okay, and you're able to find a better paying job soon.

You're a great cat mom. You care so much.
 

terestrife

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I'm sorry to hear Elsa needs surgery. I saw your other thread, and while I don't know anything about kidney disease in cats, I'd wait to talk to your vet again.

I hope other things are going okay, and you're able to find a better paying job soon.

You're a great cat mom. You care so much.
I am still waiting for my vet to get back to me regarding Kitty. I take Elsa in next week to talk to my vet about the surgery. thank you for your kind words. Lately, I feel like I am not doing enough as a cat mom.

I am still looking for another job. I have been to so many interviews. I have reached out to old coworkers to put in a good word for me. I feel really discouraged at this point. This one lady claimed she was pushing for me to get into FIU. But nothing happened and my application was rejected since I don't have a bachelor's degree.

I've been trying so hard to switch jobs and it has made me feel really bad about myself. We now have a new boss in my office that started this week and I have already had to request time off with her, which doesn't make me look good. But I have an interview for a job that would be 4 minutes from my home! Just saving money on gas would make the job worth it, even if it isn't a huge pay bump. I don't have my hopes high because I keep getting turned down. But I will try my best.

Before all this happened I had intended to post an update just to catch everyone up on the job search but then the kittys health issues came up. These past few months I've been trying to make my room more cat friendly. Their food area used to be on the floor. I elevated them both. Kitty eats four times a day so that obligates her to go up and down her tree 4 times for food. And then again when she gets her one snack for the day (that's why they both have two machines, one is for food and one is for their snack.) I also obligate them to get down once a day for their minimum 10-minute play time (i can't do it longer, they get bored fast.) Kitty has lost weight because I have slightly lessened her food intake. The situation isn't ideal because they are stuck in one bedroom. But after all these changes I have noticed that I see them awake for longer periods throughout the day. They both seem calmer and happier with the changes. I see Kitty going back and forth checking both their food areas every day. You can see Kitty in one of the pictures and she is hanging out in Elsas food area. lol I can't even use the TV in my room anymore because of how I had to arrange things to give them space.

Edit: added pictures of Kitty and Elsa.
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Ignore the toothpaste stain. lol
 
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Lari

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Best of luck on your interview! It sounds like you've done a lot to improve your cats lives. We always feel like we should be doing more, but I think at some point we have to accept that our best is good enough. I feel like I'm not doing enough both as a cat and human mom. So I think it's a common enough feeling for most people!
 

terestrife

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Best of luck on your interview! It sounds like you've done a lot to improve your cat's lives. We always feel like we should be doing more, but I think at some point we have to accept that our best is good enough. I feel like I'm not doing enough both as a cat and human mom. So I think it's a common enough feeling for most people!
Thank you for your kind words! I think I am just too hard on myself. Every time I mess up I think it means I'm not good enough. I can't imagine having to divide myself between human kids and pet kids. I have known so many parents who aren't loving to their pets once they give birth. So it speaks so much about you as a person that you still want to be a good pet mom even though you have a child. :heartshape:

I am too negative and always second-guess myself. I just hope I keep making good choices for the kitties.
 

tarasgirl06

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Thank you for your kind words! I think I am just too hard on myself. Every time I mess up I think it means I'm not good enough. I can't imagine having to divide myself between human kids and pet kids. I have known so many parents who aren't loving to their pets once they give birth. So it speaks so much about you as a person that you still want to be a good pet mom even though you have a child. :heartshape:

I am too negative and always second-guess myself. I just hope I keep making good choices for the kitties.
Exuding confidence and positivity are HUGE in interviewing. *I'm not saying I'm feeling those! Just saying what those on the other side of the desk want.*
Have you tried hanging the TV on the wall? That gets it out of the way, if you have the wall space.
All the BEST to sweet Kitty and Elsa, and to you!
 

terestrife

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Exuding confidence and positivity are HUGE in interviewing. *I'm not saying I'm feeling those! Just saying what those on the other side of the desk want.*
Have you tried hanging the TV on the wall? That gets it out of the way, if you have the wall space.
All the BEST to sweet Kitty and Elsa, and to you!
I have thought about mounting the TV. But i tend to just watch the TV in the living room.

I know it doesn't seem that way online. But If there is one thing I am actually really good at is pretending at acting sociable and positive. :flail:The confidence part? That might need some work. lol My coworker never believes that I am antisocial. I even got good comments after my interviews. One person took the time to write me a long email and told me that they were impressed with my energy and liked me. But that they went with someone that had a master's degree. The email seemed sincere because he really didn't need to give me an explanation. Most departments send out an auto-reject email.

Whenever my real self cracks through at work it always shocks people. Work has been really bad these months so my real self has come out a few times, and my coworkers that I am close to get overly concerned and check on me. When really I just need my space during those times so I can shore up the energy to go back to pretending. Work has taught me that workplaces want people that are positive and a "team-player". Having to put on a front that I care and want to help EVERYONE really eats at me every day. I am not saying that I'm not a positive person, nor that I hate helping people. But forcing myself to act nice to people that I can't stand working with? That really gets to me sometimes. I am grateful for every job I have had. But I am hoping to eventually work somewhere that I feel appreciated, and don't feel like the person that everyone takes advantage of because I am kind. For the first time in my working experience, I had to start standing up for myself and putting a rude coworker in his place. This job has really eaten away at my confidence and self worth. Which is why i stopped posting on this thread. I didnt want to keep bringing my negativity into this place.
 
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