Venting....

rubysmama

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My sister keeps telling me she doesn't want me to leave. To be sure before i do anything. Been texting me every single day about it.

She's stressing me out and making me second guess myself. But this saturday i will hopefully be moving all my stuff.
Ignore your sister. I'm sure it's for her benefit, that she doesn't want to you move, and not yours.

It sounds like your SIL is doing everything to make you feel welcome. If you can spare the money, maybe buy her a gift, as a thank you. Flowers, maybe. Or a bottle of wine. Just something to show your appreciation.
 

Mr. Meow

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Thank God there's a venting section because I'm about to rip someone at Lowes a new one. It's so incredibly difficult to take time off at my job, but I called in a bunch of favors so I could have a new stackable washer and dryer delivered (my old washer was leaking bleach and water on my floor, and were from the early 90s, so it was time), but right out of the box, the washer was broken. The screen was cracked and the knob was missing. So the delivery drivers put a note back to the main warehouse and I was supposed to get a call in about 15 minutes. That was 2 hours ago. So, I called my local Lowe's and they said they could schedule me to talk to a manager tomorrow. Not going to work. They called back saying they would get me a comparable washer, but it could be a different brand of washer only, because it's the only item damaged...why the hell would I want an LG dryer with a Samsung washer, and in 2 different colors? Also not going to work. They then said they could reorder my washer, but it'll take 5-7 days to get to the store for delivery. This doesn't work because this is the first day I've had completely off in who knows how long. If I'm not working, I'm sleeping. We never know how long we're going to have to work until the day before, or sometimes the day of.
After an hour on the phone with their headquarters, my solution is "I've increased the priority level of your issue and someone will call you within 24 hours, and they have to find a solution." 😑
So, someone's going to call me while I'm at work again, to try to schedule another time for me to be home and have people deliver and install this stuff on a day I might not be off again for another few months. So as of right now, I'm without a washer or a dryer and I have no time frame when I'm going to have either.
Thanks for letting me vent.
 

Lari

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I agree with rubysmama rubysmama - don't second guess yourself, I'm sure your sister has an agenda that's in her best interest and not yours. I also agree on bringing flowers or wine for your SIL. I think that would be a good gesture.
 

tarasgirl06

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I know, im just not used to having them in my room quite yet. I was used to looking around before turning downstairs. I know the cats arent to blame. Its just that its been 4 years hearing complaints about them. And people blaming all their illnesses on my cats. The baby gets a flu? its definitely magically caused by the cats lolol Thats how ridiculous its been.



I agree. Once i am settled in hialeah i will look into roadie. I woke up today at 6 am and went to fix my brakes and tires. It was painful and not cheap. But i want my car in good condition just incase things dont work out in hialeah. My plan B is virginia, which is 15 hours away. lol




You're right. i am feeling better about the move. Everything you said is what i keep telling myself. My SIL has actually been putting in effort to make me feel welcome. She is clearing out the room i will be taking on her own, shes cleaned the bathroom i am using. Shes even made space for me in the kitchen, and refrigerator.

I dont 100% trust her, but i am grateful shes trying to make me feel welcome. I've seen the things people can do to make you feel unwelcome without being obvious. So i am grateful she isnt making this difficult.



Your post made me both happy and sad. I am grateful for the support and that you check in. It means a lot that someone is out there and cares.

You described my mother perfectly. She was what kept us together. My sister tried taking her role, and the family still turns to her for advice. But she quickly remarried and moved away after my mom and her husband passed.

I teared up reading about your grandma, my mom loved gardening too until she no longer had the strength. A lot of the trees and plants she had are gone now. They were at my childhood home and my brother and SIL are not gardeners. lol

Your aunt sounds like a very special lady, a lot stronger than i am thats for sure. I am glad she was given time to herself. It can be hard sometimes. I love my nieces and nephews and would do anything for them. But when you're unhappy with your own life, and give to others so much of your time. It makes regrets creep up.

I tend to make choices on what will benefit others. I put myself last and thats not really a good thing. Everyone else puts themselves first, and i always feel guilty doing that.

Im not saying i am perfect. I have my temper, and can be hard to live with. lol But im that person that if my sibling calls me up to watch their kids due to an emergency, i would. My SIL had Hyperemesis Gravidarum (severe pregnancy symptoms) and i had to spend those 9 months caring for everything in the house.

I would love to be able to get out on my own and experience life standing on my own. I never got to experience that.

- - -

I got a call from my oldest brother. He is the one that couldn't help me because he is broke after renovating his house.

He told me he Is trying to get a business loan. If he does, he is going to invest in an RV for me. This isn't for sure as it depends on him getting the loan. And he tends to make promises he doesn't keep as you guys know.

But he is currently filling out the loan. So that's my plan C. Lol Its making me feel better that i have different options opening up.

My sister keeps telling me she doesn't want me to leave. To be sure before i do anything. Been texting me every single day about it.

She's stressing me out and making me second guess myself. But this saturday i will hopefully be moving all my stuff. Its taken my SIL a long time because the room was used for storage.


EDIT: My niece that i live with has been in a hotel all week. The hospital told her not to come home. I am not sure what caused her to get sick. It started in disney after eating a meal. Then she tried cleaning the guest room (2 dogs and a cat had been in there) and her breathing got worse.

She always lived fine with my cats, but now she has extreme allergies. It was so bad the hospital has been calling and checking on her.

I hope this doesnt end up happening to me. i have been the one in the family to have allergies since i was a teen. I hope it doesnt get to the point that it affects my breathing. The air in my room feels hard to breathe in sometimes even with the allergy pills i am now taking.
Just make your personal mantra: "It is NEVER my cats' fault."
And putting yourself first isn't selfish. When you are healthy and content, you are stronger and better able to be independent, and to take best care of your beloved Kitty and Elsa. People make a big mistake when they think they should put themselves last. I had a dear friend like that who gave so many things to others and then had to ask still others to give him things because...he'd given the ones he had away. He ended up losing a friend to whom he'd given $$$ in "loans" he never got back because she passed away unexpectedly, penniless. It made his life quite a lot worse. Not only did he lose that friend, he also lost his money and undoubtedly, his trust and faith in her. I've learned that kind of lesson the hard way, too -- lost wages an employer skipped out on, many books and films I "lent" and never got back, jewelry of my mom's that "flew away," other items of value intended for me that also "flew away" etc. ALWAYS pay yourself first. It's the responsible and the smart thing to do.
So it sounds like you're growing alternatives! Even if some of them don't pan out, it must be kind of nice hearing about good intentions. As for where you are, I pray you don't cave to them. You know it is not the place for you. Go forward.
 

tarasgirl06

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Thank God there's a venting section because I'm about to rip someone at Lowes a new one. It's so incredibly difficult to take time off at my job, but I called in a bunch of favors so I could have a new stackable washer and dryer delivered (my old washer was leaking bleach and water on my floor, and were from the early 90s, so it was time), but right out of the box, the washer was broken. The screen was cracked and the knob was missing. So the delivery drivers put a note back to the main warehouse and I was supposed to get a call in about 15 minutes. That was 2 hours ago. So, I called my local Lowe's and they said they could schedule me to talk to a manager tomorrow. Not going to work. They called back saying they would get me a comparable washer, but it could be a different brand of washer only, because it's the only item damaged...why the hell would I want an LG dryer with a Samsung washer, and in 2 different colors? Also not going to work. They then said they could reorder my washer, but it'll take 5-7 days to get to the store for delivery. This doesn't work because this is the first day I've had completely off in who knows how long. If I'm not working, I'm sleeping. We never know how long we're going to have to work until the day before, or sometimes the day of.
After an hour on the phone with their headquarters, my solution is "I've increased the priority level of your issue and someone will call you within 24 hours, and they have to find a solution." 😑
So, someone's going to call me while I'm at work again, to try to schedule another time for me to be home and have people deliver and install this stuff on a day I might not be off again for another few months. So as of right now, I'm without a washer or a dryer and I have no time frame when I'm going to have either.
Thanks for letting me vent.
SO sorry to hear all this. It's more common than not in a morally bankrupt society where materialism, consumerism and greed are the only things that matter to most businesses and people.
All I can say is that I hope it works out to your advantage and that when this is over, you'll be able to look back on it and, if not laugh, at least know IT'S OVER. I hope you get something that works well for you and looks good. Hope you have enough work clothes to let laundry slide for a bit, or can go to a laundromat once to get it done if necessary.
When all this is resolved, I'd strongly consider running it by the Better Business Bureau and giving the business a bad review on Yelp/neighborhood platforms. They definitely deserve both. I don't like that particular business myself, but I know we have to go where we can.
Best thoughts for you.
 

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Mr. Meow Mr. Meow It is a song that everyone can sing. Our neighbor across the street - her refrigerator died. She wants to buy a new one but the brand she wants is not available until May. So she will have to get a refrigerator of a brand she doesn't want to keep her going for a couple of months, and order the one she does (and probably make a deposit.) To add the frosting on the cake - her clothes dryer also died. For that, we suggested taking to a repairman.
 

tarasgirl06

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Mr. Meow Mr. Meow It is a song that everyone can sing. Our neighbor across the street - her refrigerator died. She wants to buy a new one but the brand she wants is not available until May. So she will have to get a refrigerator of a brand she doesn't want to keep her going for a couple of months, and order the one she does (and probably make a deposit.) To add the frosting on the cake - her clothes dryer also died. For that, we suggested taking to a repairman.
Good advice, catapult catapult . And I don't know her location, but here locally, there is a business that sells used appliances at reasonable rates. There are also places like Rent-A-Center where you pay by the week. So there are a variety of options. She doesn't have to buy a new one at exhorbitant rates.Aaron's is another business like that:
Rent to Own Appliances | Aarons
 

catapault

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tarasgirl06 tarasgirl06 Followed your good suggestion, phoned up and did suggest renting a refrigerator but her not-my-brand one is being delivered tomorrow. She is planing on selling it next May, when she manages to get the preferred kind. I suggested that rather than the hassle of selling it (two months old, she'd probably want close to full price, bought new at store would have delivery included and refrigeators are not easy to move out of kitchen and load on buyers truck, etc) (I'm very good at imagining all sorts of negative things) anyhow I said that if she could afford to do it - donate to a food bank and take a tax write-off. She liked that idea. We'll see.
 

tarasgirl06

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tarasgirl06 tarasgirl06 Followed your good suggestion, phoned up and did suggest renting a refrigerator but her not-my-brand one is being delivered tomorrow. She is planing on selling it next May, when she manages to get the preferred kind. I suggested that rather than the hassle of selling it (two months old, she'd probably want close to full price, bought new at store would have delivery included and refrigeators are not easy to move out of kitchen and load on buyers truck, etc) (I'm very good at imagining all sorts of negative things) anyhow I said that if she could afford to do it - donate to a food bank and take a tax write-off. She liked that idea. We'll see.
I always imagine all kinds of possible scenarios, too, before I do something. If it was my choice I'd stick with the one I bought. I don't have the luxury of donating or picking one brand over another. But for those who do, I guess, go for it...
 

terestrife

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Ignore your sister. I'm sure it's for her benefit, that she doesn't want to you move, and not yours.

It sounds like your SIL is doing everything to make you feel welcome. If you can spare the money, maybe buy her a gift, as a thank you. Flowers, maybe. Or a bottle of wine. Just something to show your appreciation.
That sounds really nice. I will see if i can do something for her. I stopped by today and saw my old room. She left the room looking really nice and clean.

Thank God there's a venting section because I'm about to rip someone at Lowes a new one. It's so incredibly difficult to take time off at my job, but I called in a bunch of favors so I could have a new stackable washer and dryer delivered (my old washer was leaking bleach and water on my floor, and were from the early 90s, so it was time), but right out of the box, the washer was broken. The screen was cracked and the knob was missing. So the delivery drivers put a note back to the main warehouse and I was supposed to get a call in about 15 minutes. That was 2 hours ago. So, I called my local Lowe's and they said they could schedule me to talk to a manager tomorrow. Not going to work. They called back saying they would get me a comparable washer, but it could be a different brand of washer only, because it's the only item damaged...why the hell would I want an LG dryer with a Samsung washer, and in 2 different colors? Also not going to work. They then said they could reorder my washer, but it'll take 5-7 days to get to the store for delivery. This doesn't work because this is the first day I've had completely off in who knows how long. If I'm not working, I'm sleeping. We never know how long we're going to have to work until the day before, or sometimes the day of.
After an hour on the phone with their headquarters, my solution is "I've increased the priority level of your issue and someone will call you within 24 hours, and they have to find a solution." 😑
So, someone's going to call me while I'm at work again, to try to schedule another time for me to be home and have people deliver and install this stuff on a day I might not be off again for another few months. So as of right now, I'm without a washer or a dryer and I have no time frame when I'm going to have either.
Thanks for letting me vent.
That sounds awful. Your story really resonated with me. We spent months without a washer. We couldnt afford to go to the laundry place, so we got to the point of handwashing our clothes. Believe it or not, clothes come out much softer if you clean them by hand.

It is time consuming though. I hope you find a resolution to your problem.


I agree with rubysmama rubysmama - don't second guess yourself, I'm sure your sister has an agenda that's in her best interest and not yours. I also agree on bringing flowers or wine for your SIL. I think that would be a good gesture.
I know. I always question myself whenever i make a change.

But i already dropped off a bunch of stuff to their house. Just waiting for help with my bigger things. I will hopefully be all moved in this weekend.

Just make your personal mantra: "It is NEVER my cats' fault."
And putting yourself first isn't selfish. When you are healthy and content, you are stronger and better able to be independent, and to take best care of your beloved Kitty and Elsa. People make a big mistake when they think they should put themselves last. I had a dear friend like that who gave so many things to others and then had to ask still others to give him things because...he'd given the ones he had away. He ended up losing a friend to whom he'd given $$$ in "loans" he never got back because she passed away unexpectedly, penniless. It made his life quite a lot worse. Not only did he lose that friend, he also lost his money and undoubtedly, his trust and faith in her. I've learned that kind of lesson the hard way, too -- lost wages an employer skipped out on, many books and films I "lent" and never got back, jewelry of my mom's that "flew away," other items of value intended for me that also "flew away" etc. ALWAYS pay yourself first. It's the responsible and the smart thing to do.
So it sounds like you're growing alternatives! Even if some of them don't pan out, it must be kind of nice hearing about good intentions. As for where you are, I pray you don't cave to them. You know it is not the place for you. Go forward.
You pretty much described me. lol I was dumb and lent my credit to my sister. She never paid me back for that debt and it messed up my credit. I have learned not to be so kind to others. But i cant deny its my instinct to be there for family. Its how i was raised. Its the way my mother was.

Hopefully by sunday i will be completely moved out. Took a while for them to clear my old room. They were using it for storage.


---
Tomorrow i am hopefully going to be doing the move. My niece fought with her BF so i dont know if he plans to still help me. If it doesnt happen tomorrow, then my oldest brother will be helping me sunday.

I am not sure if i should take the cats along with me as we drop off my bed, or if i should come back for them. I had wanted to get everything into the room and then take them. But regardless, my nieces bf had only planned to take my bed, and leave the rest of my furniture to my brother on sunday.

I'm also not sure if i should take a litter box for the trip, its only 40-60 mins away. I put a litter box on our trip to the vet last time, and my cat Kitty ended up using it. Mind you, she got poop all over herself, and me, but thats another issue. lol Its scary for them as is, that i feel better putting a litter box.

Thats what i most stressed about. Moving the cats. Kitty will be meowing and panting the entire trip to our new place.

I was talking to my brother and letting him know that if anyone gets sick with allergies, that i had a plan in place. I didnt want him worrying that he would be stuck with us there if they become sick.

Hopefully that wont happen. He said he didnt think it would be an issues with the cats being in my room.
 

terestrife

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Move in delayed until tomorrow. My nieces bf was going to take my bed over there. But they got into a huge fight and broke up. My brother is coming by tomorrow to help me move.

Edit: she wasted her stimulus instead of fixing her driver's license. She owes a lot of money and has tickets.

So now she's here stuck here without a car. With a 2 year old in the house. I don't get why they don't fix my sisters car thats sitting in the garage.
 
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Lari

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I'm assuming the fight was over her wasting the stimulus. Good thing we might be getting another one that she can do the right thing with. Hopefully losing both you and him will be the wake up call she needs to make some changes, though I have my doubts.
 

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That sounds really nice. I will see if i can do something for her. I stopped by today and saw my old room. She left the room looking really nice and clean.



That sounds awful. Your story really resonated with me. We spent months without a washer. We couldnt afford to go to the laundry place, so we got to the point of handwashing our clothes. Believe it or not, clothes come out much softer if you clean them by hand.

It is time consuming though. I hope you find a resolution to your problem.




I know. I always question myself whenever i make a change.

But i already dropped off a bunch of stuff to their house. Just waiting for help with my bigger things. I will hopefully be all moved in this weekend.



You pretty much described me. lol I was dumb and lent my credit to my sister. She never paid me back for that debt and it messed up my credit. I have learned not to be so kind to others. But i cant deny its my instinct to be there for family. Its how i was raised. Its the way my mother was.

Hopefully by sunday i will be completely moved out. Took a while for them to clear my old room. They were using it for storage.


---
Tomorrow i am hopefully going to be doing the move. My niece fought with her BF so i dont know if he plans to still help me. If it doesnt happen tomorrow, then my oldest brother will be helping me sunday.

I am not sure if i should take the cats along with me as we drop off my bed, or if i should come back for them. I had wanted to get everything into the room and then take them. But regardless, my nieces bf had only planned to take my bed, and leave the rest of my furniture to my brother on sunday.

I'm also not sure if i should take a litter box for the trip, its only 40-60 mins away. I put a litter box on our trip to the vet last time, and my cat Kitty ended up using it. Mind you, she got poop all over herself, and me, but thats another issue. lol Its scary for them as is, that i feel better putting a litter box.

Thats what i most stressed about. Moving the cats. Kitty will be meowing and panting the entire trip to our new place.

I was talking to my brother and letting him know that if anyone gets sick with allergies, that i had a plan in place. I didnt want him worrying that he would be stuck with us there if they become sick.

Hopefully that wont happen. He said he didnt think it would be an issues with the cats being in my room.
I've moved many times with cats. I would not feed them breakfast before moving. Use Feliway spray in their carriers. It really helps. And I always move cats last. Make absolutely sure they are secured in your room while the moveout is occurring and while everything is being transported to your new place. Then box them up in their carriers and move them last. I would have their box set up in their room, as well as food and water, for their arrival. *ALL THE VERY BEST wishes for Kitty, Elsa, and you for this transition, and for your new housemates to be very considerate.*
 

tarasgirl06

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Move in delayed until tomorrow. My nieces bf was going to take my bed over there. But they got into a huge fight and broke up. My brother is coming by tomorrow to help me move.

Edit: she wasted her stimulus instead of fixing her driver's license. She owes a lot of money and has tickets.

So now she's here stuck here without a car. With a 2 year old in the house. I don't get why they don't fix my sisters car thats sitting in the garage.
THEIR problem and THEIR issues, not yours. Don't spend a second concerning yourself with it! You have plenty to deal with that IS your responsibility. What they do is their choice.
 

terestrife

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I'm assuming the fight was over her wasting the stimulus. Good thing we might be getting another one that she can do the right thing with. Hopefully losing both you and him will be the wake up call she needs to make some changes, though I have my doubts.
The fight is because he likes drinking sometimes. He's a rude drunk.

Anyway, she says she wants to take her son again to Disney for his bday and wants to save up for that. she's waiting for her mom to fix her license and car issues. My sister claims she's getting some money soon. Shes been saying that for a year.

He showed up to the house and is doing chores around the house. He had told my sisters husband that the most important thing to him is having a home. So i have the feeling he's going to many up with my niece even tho she claims she's done.

I've moved many times with cats. I would not feed them breakfast before moving. Use Feliway spray in their carriers. It really helps. And I always move cats last. Make absolutely sure they are secured in your room while the moveout is occurring and while everything is being transported to your new place. Then box them up in their carriers and move them last. I would have their box set up in their room, as well as food and water, for their arrival. *ALL THE VERY BEST wishes for Kitty, Elsa, and you for this transition, and for your new housemates to be very considerate.*
gave them breakfast before seeing your response. I realized i had to put them in their carriers because they went out of my room the second i tried taking anything out. Lolol

Thank you for your well wishes. I hooe this is a positive change.

my sister has been oddly kind to me. Told me she's supposedly getting money soon and wants to give me some to help with my health issues. Who knows if that's true.

THEIR problem and THEIR issues, not yours. Don't spend a second concerning yourself with it! You have plenty to deal with that IS your responsibility. What they do is their choice.
I agree. I don't like when she starts talking to me about her problems. But people seem to find it easy to tell me their problems. Lol
 

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I stopped getting notifications from this thread again so it looks like I've missed a lot.

Good that you're finally getting out of there, hopefully things work out better with your brother. And I agree some kind of gift would be a good idea, but what might be better is find out something that they don't have that's common in most houses (blender, coffee maker, toaster oven, etc.) and pick one up before you move. When you get settled in tell them they're free to use it and ask where they'd like you to set it up. That way if things go bad they can't throw a gift back in your face and act like it was a bribe or whatever.
 

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Excellent idea, Talien Talien ;):goldstar:
And yeah, terestrife terestrife -- kind people are always taken advantage of. I was thinking about this again for the zillionth time this morning. We have to learn to set boundaries. How to say NO. We can't save the world. And we can't save people from themselves. It's not our responsibility or our ability. That's why there is a Creator. And that's why we were given free will, brains, etc. It's not your problem.
 

terestrife

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I stopped getting notifications from this thread again so it looks like I've missed a lot.

Good that you're finally getting out of there, hopefully things work out better with your brother. And I agree some kind of gift would be a good idea, but what might be better is find out something that they don't have that's common in most houses (blender, coffee maker, toaster oven, etc.) and pick one up before you move. When you get settled in tell them they're free to use it and ask where they'd like you to set it up. That way if things go bad they can't throw a gift back in your face and act like it was a bribe or whatever.
That's a wonderful idea! Thank you so much. :heartshape:

Thanks for checking in i missed seeing your posts.

Excellent idea, Talien Talien ;):goldstar:
And yeah, terestrife terestrife -- kind people are always taken advantage of. I was thinking about this again for the zillionth time this morning. We have to learn to set boundaries. How to say NO. We can't save the world. And we can't save people from themselves. It's not our responsibility or our ability. That's why there is a Creator. And that's why we were given free will, brains, etc. It's not your problem.
I agree. As soon as people give me their sad stories my instinct is to help. My sil starts telling me of all her struggles with 3 kids and my instinct is to help. But I'm learning to not offer too much help. But still give help from time to time to be kind.

P.s. I'm staying at my sister's house tonight. Its 9 pm and still not done clearing things out.

But my bed and essentials are in Hialeah. Just need to get the kitties over there. They're stuck in a different bedroom in my sister's house so they're stressed.

Tomorrow they move to their new room. They don't even have their trees for tonight.
 
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