Struggling With Play Time

[calicosrspecial]

We all face those issues and have faced them. So it is common and understandable. But I know that you can definitely overcome that. I know what you mean some situations are more difficult. But I also know you can handle any situation. Once you start believing that as well it will be easier and easier and soon it wont even be an issue. You are obviously intelligent and you are a good person so I am highly confident you will overcome any fears etc regarding other people, conversations. Now, some conversations aren't worth continuing!! So I don't blame you for that. The fact you do better in situations where you have to react fast tells me your instincts are good and right. So that tells me that you will be fine even when more time is available. A lot of time the anticipation is worse so I know what you mean about talking to this lady. We can run through all sorts of scenarios and get tangled up and confused. It is a balancing act. To understand the possible routes a conversation or situation can take but not to get overcome or paralyzed by the unknown. Because the route really is unknown surprises can happen and sometimes pausing to think about it is the best route if something unknown pops up. There is no doubt your intelligence and instincts will carry you through anything. I really am hoping that you focus on all your positives and not worry about the negatives as much. I don't think you will "mess it up" but if you do it happens and we learn from it. We learn from mistakes much more than our successes. I know it is easier said than done and I know you have to believe what I believe I see in you but I do know that you will believe in yourself as much as I do.

GREAT!! Let's see what others think.

Yes, I think your brother could provide good "intelligence" about the house, the people that may live there, the cats, the situation. It is good to try to learn as much as possible before "going in" to the situation.

That is a good attitude.

 

[Animal Freak]

I'll certainly do my best. This situation is probably going to push me quite a bit. It already has, honestly. But I don't want to turn away from it just because it got a bit more complicated than I expected. The anticipation is definitely the worst part, more often than not. I just tend to more sensitive than I like to admit and I don't want to offend anyone. I definitely don't want to end up on the wrong foot with this lady when I'd like to help if I can. Right now I guess I'm just feeling a bit stuck between my love of animals and my anxiety. Part of me wants to do whatever I have to, even if it means marching up to the door and knocking on it. Part of me wants to avoid talking to the caretaker completely. I think it would be easier for me if I could catch her outside since it would give me less time to think and I could casually bring up the cats and could have a conversation without making my intentions obvious. If I went up to the door it would be pretty hard to pretend like I'm not there to try to help the cats.

I did get a post up in the Ferals section.

I'm hoping he can give me some information. I don't know how much he knows, but anything is better than nothing.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I know you will do your best. Everything you are feeling is everything so many of us have as well. It is hard but it is good experience and we learn from these situations. It is hard because we don't know how the people will react. I have been surprised (positively and negatively) many times. We don't know until we know. But I also want you to be safe so if your brother knows who lives there that will help. In my head I am thinking it is an older lady (given there is a cat door and cats coming in and out) and that it is probably not young males BUT we just don't know. I wonder if the house is even occupied honestly. And maybe a neighbor sees the cats and provides the food and water. I literally can envision multiple scenarios and I want you to be safe. I think trying to figure out who lives there is a good first step and then we can see where we might be.

I think your thoughts in your first paragraph are exactly right and you are thinking the right things. Let's just take one step at a time and see what your brother says about who might live there (if anyone).

Does the house look well cared for or a bit unkempt? Is the grass cut or the bushes?

Yes, I am monitoring that thread.

Yes, I am hoping he can.

Don't worry we'll figure it out.

 

[Animal Freak]

I always worry about how people will react. I don't know why, but I do. Even if I know it can't hurt me to be turned down and not everyone needs to like me. In a general sense, I don't really care if people don't like me. But it's still hard.

Yes, I do want to talk to my brother. I'm not sure when that'll be as he works kind of weird times. He's basically either always working or not at work at all. He just had several days off too, so it's too bad I missed that time. But any information I can get will be helpful. He did refer to the person as a "crazy cat lady" so I've been assuming an older woman as well. I've wondered if the house is even occupied as well. It's always so dark and quiet. But I have seen a light on once and someone is going there for at least part of the day. There's a vehicle parked outside once I get there around 3 and I was there earlier yesterday. And it's still there when I leave the park which is usually around 4. So whoever it is is there for probably at least a couple of hours.

The house is definitely unkempt. Paint is chipped off around the windows and the bottom of the house is painted concrete which is discolored and peeling. The grass is short, but I've mostly been there in the winter now and grass isn't really growing all that much right now. The backyard is a bit of a mess with stuff back there and a couple of Chewy boxes that have seen better days. The cat flap goes into an enclosed porch and the windows are a mess in there. I'm guessing cats shredded the screens.

 

[calicosrspecial]

We all do. That is just human nature. I too don't care what people think of me, how I dress, how I look etc. But if someone says something it still can hurt. It is just normal, we are human.

It could be an older person and someone comes over to help with housework etc. Keep watching and see if you can tell anything. It would be interesting to see who comes over (male or female, age, how they are dressed). What kind of car do they drive? Nice or older? Well cared for or not?

That is good to know. It suggests it could be an older person. Do you know if there is any entry into the actual house? Or just the cat flap into the porch area? Or is it impossible to see?

Thanks for the additional information. That is actually helpful.

 

[Animal Freak]

Well, I guess I'll be learning how to push past that fear. I don't like worrying about it at all, so hopefully I can get past it. I am feeling a bit better now though. Still nervous, but better.

That's true. I plan on heading out early today, so maybe I can either catch them outside or figure out about when that vehicle shows up. It's a white van. Or is it an SUV? I don't know anything about vehicles. Not exactly new, but in good shape.

I'm not sure if they can get into the rest of the house. The windows are definitely in better shape in the rest of the house. I've been trying to keep an eye on the windows to see if I can find any cats looking out, but nothing yet. All the windows have curtains on them which are kept closed. I haven't seen any other way in other than that cat flap, but they could have entry through the enclosed porch.

 

[calicosrspecial]

You will. You are stronger that you think. Actually, it is really good to overcome things in life as it better prepares us for life and all the uncertainty that comes with it. I guarantee you are too intelligent and too strong to not overcome any fears.

No name on the side of it? Does it possibly look like a home health care vehicle?

Was the dilute tortie looking out of the porch or was it a window from the house? And if the house window did it look a like a cat that you have seen outside possibly?

It would be interesting to know who that vehicle belongs to.

 

[Animal Freak]

Yes, I agree. Particularly with what I want to do in my future. I'm going to have to be able to get over these things and be able to communicate with others.

No, nothing on it. I went early today and it wasn't there, so they're either on a different schedule today or they get there closer to 2:30. I went on a walk at 1 and past the house then and again around 2 on my way back home. I'm usually there closer to 3.

The dilute tortie I saw had been in a window of the enclosed porch. But it's now official. There are cats in the actual house. I saw two in the window today. A short haired black cat and a short haired tortie. Not sure if either are cats I've seen or not. I mostly just saw their faces. The tortie could be the one I saw on the front porch the other day.

 

[calicosrspecial]

GREAT post on the other thread. That thread is really good stuff!!

You will, I have no doubt about it. No question you are a winner. I think you can accomplish a lot in this world. You may not realize it yet but it will become clearer to you as time passes.

If it is the same time every day then it very well could be a paid helper (though it could be a family member coming over after work).

Ok, great, this is really good to know. Try to keep an eye on it and see if you just see the same cats in the house windows or different ones. Maybe the door is just to help them get to shelter on the porch and not into the house (let's hope). This is very interesting and good information. NOW we have to be careful jumping to conclusions but it may not be the worst case scenario. Let's hope.

Good work!!

 

[Animal Freak]

Oh, hey. I forgot I wanted to mention this. So last night I was sitting in bed with Ember on my lap. It was dark and I honestly have no clue what happened. She just all of a sudden took off and hit the floor with a loud thud. I heard some noise for a split second and then it was quiet. I turned my lamp on and she was laying almost flat on the floor. Now, Frost was standing nearby, but she wasn't looking at him. She was looking at the door. And she was very tense. Her tail was probably at least twice it's usual size and she wouldn't react to me calling her at all. I wanted to get up and shut the door, but of course she slipped out before I could and I was very nervous that there was going to be a fight. But I opened my door the rest of the way and Ash was sitting right there and Ember was nowhere to be seen. She had to of gone right past him and he wasn't tense at all. I found Ember under the dining room table still looking tense, but even when Ash came in, she just went up and sniffed him and walked away. I figured Ash must have come into my room and she went after him, but she didn't show any signs of aggression towards him. Now, there have been times in the past where I thought she acted like she hadn't recognized him, but always brushed it off. How could she not recognize him in some way? But this event really made it seem like perhaps she actually doesn't recognize him. Is that even possible? Could it be because of his coloring? He sort of blends into the dark, but I would have thought she could smell him.

Yeah, that could be. I'll keep an eye out, but at this point I'm not sure if I should go out earlier to try to catch the person feeding the cats or if I should try to catch whoever owns this vehicle. The cats had definitely been fed by the time I got there today.

I will certainly keep an eye out. I will be going to be dad's tomorrow, so I won't be able to watch the house, but I'll keep going by when I am here.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I wonder if she heard something outside or smelled another animal or something. It is possible she didn't recognize them but there eyes are very good in the dark. BUT I know my indoor cats and ferals outside will get "funny" and then once they realize who it is they relax so it is very possible it was like one of those instances. Or it could have been an outside issue since they can hear and smell so well.

I will say I think it is great news that they did not get into it and everyone acted like there was not threat from the other known cats.

So I think it is very possible that she may not have recognized him or was unsure if it was him or someone else. I don't think it is that uncommon actually since I do see it once in a while.

I wonder if that person in the cart shows up twice a day. Or they live there and they feed before work and come home around 3ish. Do you know if that car is around at night at all?

Sounds good. Keep watching and let's see what more information we can find out.

 

[Animal Freak]

I don't know. I sure didn't hear a thing and she was very tense. I've never seen her flat out on the ground like that. And it's not the first time I've questioned if she didn't recognize him. She quite literally acts like she thinks another cat is in the house. Even after attacking Ash and then sniffing him, she'll sometimes look around the house like there must be someone else. After that, I even considered if there was something wrong with her vision. Thinking back on it, Ash's eyes seem to reflect more than hers. However, I'm probably thinking too much into that. My other, probably more likely theory, was that it has to do with Ash's coloring. Sort of like how a zebra's stripes are meant to break up it's form to protect it from predators. His black markings would blend into the shadows more than his gray-brown fur, so I was thinking maybe it kind of broke up his figure and made him look different.

Oh, yes, it's great that there wasn't a fight. I definitely appreciate that. It just sometimes drives me crazy why sometimes there doesn't seem to be any reason for her attacks and why she goes looking for an intruder.

I don't know if that car is there at night. I'm not usually out after dark and, since it's been winter, that means five was the limit and I usually go out the same time every day anyway. There was food left on the plate (quite a bit of it) when I was there at 2 and it wasn't the first time I've seen food there, so it seems like these cats are either really overfed or the person gives them food closer to noon.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Cat have exceptional hearing and sense of smell so she could have heard something or smelled something and is more protective then the boys. Or, as you say, it could be she didn't exactly see him (which I think happens more than I ever thought). The fact she sniffs Ash and then looks for someone else makes me wonder if she is sensing (hears, smells) another animal. It could be his markings as some cats do blend in more. Tough to know BUT I would say it is great that she did recognize them eventually and didn't fight him. She was protecting from something I am thinking.

Yes, but she is sensing something. They are definitely more sensitive then we humans are.

It is hard to know. Maybe she put a bunch out and just free feeds so anyone that comes by can eat (not a set feeding time). I know my ferals tend to ask for food at different times even though I try to have a set feeding time but they have other ideas.

Was that car outside when you saw the big plate of food? Now the person could have left too but I am trying to figure out if the person in the house is feeding or if the person with the car does. Just tough to know.

 

[Animal Freak]

That's true and I definitely can't take that out as a possibility, but I've seen her react to noises that I could hear and she's never gone on the offensive like that. I would say a smell is more likely than a sound though she got over it relatively quickly. And I've noticed a lot of our issues occur at night. Though, of course, that could be an animal as well since they're often active at night. But Ash is always involved. It's never Frost and it's never when Ash isn't there. Cats can be so difficult to figure out sometimes.

Well, the lady certainly feeds those cats a lot. I mean, I'm pretty sure there's at least a couple that are overweight and they're in no hurry to finish the food off. I've seen it full once and it was heaping. Like a little mountain of food. I don't remember if the vehicle was there that time or not. I don't think so, but it was a little while ago when I saw it full. I saw it partly full when I was there at 2 and the vehicle wasn't there then.

Oh, yes. I somehow forgot to mention the new face I saw the last time I passed by the house. It really weirded me out. Once again, I wasn't really paying full attention as I walked by. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye next to the house and looked over fully expected to see the orange cat since it was the same place I've seen it the last two times and the same behavior. Except this cat was half -- if not over half -- white. Top orange, bottom white. Same round shape, same cautious behavior, same place, but different color. I was actually momentarily confused because I was expecting the orange cat and it took me a moment to realize it was a cat I hadn't seen before.

 

[calicosrspecial]

That makes sense. It is interesting that Ash is usually around but maybe it is a coincidence (since he is probably always around?). Yes, it can be nearly impossible to figure it out sadly.

Someone probably puts it out in the morning and puts a lot to make sure it lasts all day. Hopefully they don't feed at night as food can attract a lot of pests. It is just so hard to know exactly what is going on. One would think you would see the person once in a while but maybe the person works. Part of me thought the person was not working and maybe a bit infirm but that could be totally wrong.

Oh my, there are a lot of cats. That is why it is a heap of food so it last multiple cats I am guessing. :/

 

[Animal Freak]

Could be, but he doesn't actually spend that much time in my room, so it seems like it would happen without him there at least once or twice.

It really is a lot of food. It would have to be to manage to get cats overweight and there still be some left. I don't know if food is left out at night though. It does seem like someone should be seen, but I don't really know. I'm out around the same time every day and I haven't been going down that way for all that long.

There are definitely more than I thought. I can't imagine how much food she's probably going through.

 

[Cat Buddies]

Hi there! I always try to schedule play time with my cats daily follow by cat treats to reward them. A simple cat toy to play with your cats or petting them will make them happy.

Cats are pretty independent pet.. but sometimes they need out attention for playtime.. companion.. I think

 

[calicosrspecial]

Could be, but he doesn't actually spend that much time in my room, so it seems like it would happen without him there at least once or twice.

It really is a lot of food. It would have to be to manage to get cats overweight and there still be some left. I don't know if food is left out at night though. It does seem like someone should be seen, but I don't really know. I'm out around the same time every day and I haven't been going down that way for all that long.

There are definitely more than I thought. I can't imagine how much food she's probably going through.

Maybe he makes the noise a little away and so it sounds like it is coming from outside. Just difficult to know. It is interesting.

I am guessing they put the food out in the morning to last all day. That would be my guess. So maybe they put it out then go to work. People feed in different ways. For some reason I think it is an elderly person that may not have much mobility BUT that is just a feeling with no real knowledge to back it up. Sometimes things can be surprising. I do think the person or people living there are trying to help out which is good and they seem to want to do the right thing but just may not know or be able to do the right thing fully (TNR).

That is often the case. I always think there is 2-4 times the amount one thinks there are. It is always surprising how many there really are since true ferals keep a real low profile. Hopefully it is decent food, sometimes people find an inexpensive food and mean well but it does little help and is just a waste of money. I don't know why they are even allowed to sell some of those cat foods. Ughhhhhhhhh.

 

[Animal Freak]

Hi there! I always try to schedule play time with my cats daily follow by cat treats to reward them. A simple cat toy to play with your cats or petting them will make them happy.

Cats are pretty independent pet.. but sometimes they need out attention for playtime.. companion.. I think

Thanks. I do have a scheduled play time. Sometimes they don't seem to want to play, but I try!

 

[Animal Freak]

Maybe he makes the noise a little away and so it sounds like it is coming from outside. Just difficult to know. It is interesting.

I am guessing they put the food out in the morning to last all day. That would be my guess. So maybe they put it out then go to work. People feed in different ways. For some reason I think it is an elderly person that may not have much mobility BUT that is just a feeling with no real knowledge to back it up. Sometimes things can be surprising. I do think the person or people living there are trying to help out which is good and they seem to want to do the right thing but just may not know or be able to do the right thing fully (TNR).

That is often the case. I always think there is 2-4 times the amount one thinks there are. It is always surprising how many there really are since true ferals keep a real low profile. Hopefully it is decent food, sometimes people find an inexpensive food and mean well but it does little help and is just a waste of money. I don't know why they are even allowed to sell some of those cat foods. Ughhhhhhhhh.

Maybe, but it sure seems like I would've heard something. My hearing is the one thing that actually works.

I've gotten the feeling that it's an elderly lady too, but I have no proof. They're definitely trying to help out and I'm still not entirely convinced that all the cats are unneutered. They're so peaceful and considering they have access to plenty of food as well as the inside of the house, it seems like there would be more kittens. I'm still sort of wondering if it isn't a colony they've been working with for a while and have gotten most of them fixed, but maybe there's a few left or more showing up or people dumping their cats there.

Yeah, I figured there would be more that I wasn't seeing, just not quite to this extent. Especially since a lot of them aren't exactly discreet. I would be nice if it was some decent food, but I'm not getting my hopes about that.

I saw more cats there today than I expected. According to my phone's weather app, it's 26 degree Fahrenheit and feels like 13 degrees. Though it didn't feel as bad as I expected. I almost didn't go out, but wanted to check on things since I hadn't been there in a couple of days. The chubby black cat was laying right outside a big bush. I didn't even notice him until I was almost past him because he was so still and I really wasn't expecting to see cats. But he just laid there. I was a few feet away from him and Stella was even closer than I was. Sort of makes me wonder if a lot of these cats aren't actually strays that were abandoned because it doesn't seem like a feral would be comfortable that close to a dog, even if that dog is around the same size as him. I saw the orange and white cat again too. He was sitting in the backyard and seemed much calmer today. Not even fazed by my presence. There was also a long-haired blue cat that I'm guess is the same one I saw before, but not positive. The cat looked young, but I don't really know much about cat ages.