New cat very aggressive to old cat. NEED HELP!!!

[gatolover77]

About a month ago someone in my area put ads out about a 4 year old male cat that needed a new home. The owner of the cat was going to release him to the streets if he wasn't adopted within 1 week. I had been looking for a 2nd cat to keep my 8 year old boy company, and I didn't want this cat to suffer on the streets, so I contacted them. They told me he was a very quiet, well behaved kitty. I agreed to take him in to see if they get along and they promised if it didn't work out they would find him a new home.

The day before adoption I was informed that he was not neutered. I was obviously worried about this but no one else had volunteered to take him in and he had 1 day before being put on the streets. I picked him up from a friend of the owner(this person facilitated the whole process, didn't talk to the actual owner once). The cat hid for about a week. I kept them in separate rooms and at the end of week 1 started the introduction. All was well for about 2 weeks. Eventually the new cat started stalking and attacking my 8yr old boy. It wasn't playful at all and I had to break up 2 pretty bad fights. At this point he cannot come out and be near my cat without following him around until a fight starts. I live in a 1 bedroom apt (spacious enough for 2 cats but not ideal to have them in 2 separate rooms at all times . The new cat will now yowl ALL night to get out of the bedroom, just so he can get out to look at my cat and fight with him. Last night he yowled so much I thought he might lose his voice.I barely slept. I tried to distract him with toys, playing, cat tv, it only lasted a few minutes before he would start doing it again. This caused my 8yr old to stress out and come to the door and start clawing at it. My partner and I have been sleeping in separate rooms (one bedroom, one living room) so that neither cat freaks out at night. If my 8yr old boy is left all alone he will cry and scratch at the door, if the door is left open the new kitty will attack the 8yr old. My 8yr old also has asthma and the stress of it is making it flare up again after 9 months of no issues.

This is no way of living. I have no idea what to do but this situation has turned into a complete nightmare. I've taken in strays before and never has it been this tough. I've called all of my local places to get new kitty neutered and the soonest would be in 3 weeks. Even then I don't think the issue will be resolved immediately. I've tried reaching out to the person that brought him to me and they clearly were not being honest when they said they would take him in (temporarily) if it didn't work out. I've tried posting him on various pages to see if I can find him a loving home with no other cats and I've had 0 offers. I do not know what to do. I'm already using feliway, cbd oil, and doing the most I can to relax them. It's not working, they just don't mesh well with each other and the new kitty has behavioral issues. I forgot to add he will not let us touch him either. If we reach to pet him he backs away or gets angry. He is not aggressive towards us unless we try to touch him, and even then he will just swat or hiss.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi - At this point, you'll need to adjust your expectations and continue to keep them separated until he's neutered, and a couple weeks after that until the testosterone works out of his system. Hopefully you don't end up with other apartment dwellers complaining about the yelling. Try a white noise sound machine, it might help to drown the sound of the yowls for you and others, and may even distract him.

In any case, when his system is more normal you'll likely have a different four year old, and it will end up being worth it because you will have saved a life. You don't know his background, there might be something here that helps;
How To Help An Abused Cat Recover – TheCatSite Articles

Then you can put these methods into action;

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/cms...19-8bd4-656c8e3ec094/jsap12905-fig-0001-m.jpg

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

Most importantly, try a purr toy and a heartbeat toy for your older resident cat. He could also benefit from Music For Cats, which has research to support that it can make quite a difference in helping cats to relax, or there's spotify and other sources that have harp music for cats, and there's also Relax My Cat .com. When things are a little more settled, I'd suggest a wellness check for him.

Just in case;
Find a Veterinarian and Practice | The Cat Community

 

[gatolover77]

Hi - At this point, you'll need to adjust your expectations and continue to keep them separated until he's neutered, and a couple weeks after that until the testosterone works out of his system. Hopefully you don't end up with other apartment dwellers complaining about the yelling. Try a white noise sound machine, it might help to drown the sound of the yowls for you and others, and may even distract him.

In any case, when his system is more normal you'll likely have a different four year old, and it will end up being worth it because you will have saved a life. You don't know his background, there might be something here that helps;
How To Help An Abused Cat Recover – TheCatSite Articles

Then you can put these methods into action;

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/cms...19-8bd4-656c8e3ec094/jsap12905-fig-0001-m.jpg

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles

Most importantly, try a purr toy and a heartbeat toy for your older resident cat. He could also benefit from Music For Cats, which has research to support that it can make quite a difference in helping cats to relax, or there's spotify and other sources that have harp music for cats, and there's also Relax My Cat .com. When things are a little more settled, I'd suggest a wellness check for him.

Just in case;
Find a Veterinarian and Practice | The Cat Community

Unfortunately, my partner sleeping on the couch a month longer is not right or an option. I cannot get a neuter appointment soon enough, and also we will be leaving town(next month) to visit family and I feel deeply uncomfortable leaving them in this situation with a pet sitter checking in daily. New kitty waits right by the door to bolt out, and once he's out he's very hard to catch as he will lunge at you if you try to pick him up to put him back. I only trust myself in this situation(it's even very difficult for me and he has slipped out more than once) and we have a non refundable flight to check on family we haven't seen in 2 years. We're already sleep deprived at this point, I need some kind of immediate solution.

 

[Furballsmom]

There isn't one unless you can get a neuter appointment in the next couple days. Try another town over or something, utilize that link I provided you. I certainly didn't say anything about your partner sleeping on the couch for another month, that's why I provided the other information in my post above, to try and give other options that might be more workable and hopefully have an effect, especially for your resident cat.

Otherwise talk to your vet, see if they know of anyone who can help out temporarily with what amounts to a half-feral cat, or get on Rover .com, and see if there's anyone willing to help with a half-feral cat. See if there are any TNR groups who can handle this guy.

 

[gatolover77]

There isn't one unless you can get a neuter appointment in the next couple days. Try another town over or something, utilize that link I provided you. I certainly didn't say anything about your partner sleeping on the couch for another month, that's why I provided the other information in my post above, to try and give other options that might be more workable and hopefully have an effect, especially for your resident cat.

Otherwise talk to your vet, see if they know of anyone who can help out temporarily with what amounts to a half-feral cat, or get on Rover .com, and see if there's anyone willing to help with a half-feral cat. See if there are any TNR groups who can handle this guy.

Thank you so much!!! I apologize I was just a little frustrated, but I definitely appreciate all of your advice and resources. I'm going to look into someone helping temporarily on Rover. I really do feel bad for the kitty and want him to be happy and comfortable too. Hope this works out.

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm SO keeping my fingers crossed for you that you're able to determine something that will work for both your furbabies

Let us know how things progress

Oh, by the way, if you aren't already registered on Rover, it's free to do so, and that makes it much easier to see the people who are available for scheduling purposes, each person's customer reviews which I find valuable, their prices and what they handle.

 

[gatolover77]

I'm SO keeping my fingers crossed for you that you're able to determine something that will work for both your furbabies

Let us know how things progress

Oh, by the way, if you aren't already registered on Rover, it's free to do so, and that makes it much easier to see the people who are available for scheduling purposes, each person's customer reviews which I find valuable, their prices and what they handle.

**Update on the situation**

I was able to schedule an appointment for him to get neutered this coming weekend. The same day someone in my neighborhood reached out to me about adopting him. She recently lost her beloved kitty and was ready to adopt a new furbaby. He's absolutely beautiful so I wasn't surprised someone was interested. I didn't want to just give him to her without telling her his backstory, I needed her to know she wasn't going to be getting a lap cat. It took an entire month for me to be able to even pet him a little bit. I didn't want to adopt him out before getting him neutered because I just felt like it would be easier to give him to her that way, but she reassured me that she's rescued before and is very good with cats. She has her regular vet that she wanted to get him neutered at. Sounds like a happy ending but not yet....

We met for her to take the kitty and his belongings. I reassured her that I would help her if there were any issues. I turned back to my car to grab his toys and when I get back to her she's in pain because she reached in to pet him and he bit her very badly on her wrist. It was honestly the deepest cat bite I've seen. She still took him and we're in communication but she's a little sketched out with his behavior. She says I'm lucky to have gotten him away from my kitty because she sees the amount of aggression he has. I pray for a happy outcome for this little guy. I'm really starting to think he was abused in his past.

 

[Furballsmom]

It took an entire month for me to be able to even pet him a little bit.

she sees the amount of aggression he has.

Did she hear what you told her at all?
I'm sorry, I'm not clear. What aggression did she see?
Never mind what you said, as a complete stranger, reaching in to a carrier to pet a cat who has no idea who you are or what you intend to do, is less than smart and doesn't tally with her saying she's done rescue and is good with cats.

So, the appointment for this weekend is lost? How soon is she going to get an appointment?

I really hope this works out better than what it looks like to me right now.

 

[gatolover77]

Did she hear what you told her at all?
I'm sorry, I'm not clear. What aggression did she see?
Never mind what you said, as a complete stranger, reaching in to a carrier to pet a cat who has no idea who you are or what you intend to do, is less than smart and doesn't tally with her saying she's done rescue and is good with cats.

So, the appointment for this weekend is lost? How soon is she going to get an appointment?

I really hope this works out better than what it looks like to me right now.

I was a little shocked that she decided to reach in after what I told her. She said she thought he maybe just didn't like me and would like her more. She was texting me about the bite all day and then told me I was irresponsible to take him in when I already have a kitty. It's like everything I've told her means nothing lol. I have the appointment still, because I'm not sure what will happen. The following day, she said he arched his back and hissed at her. This shows me she's still trying to approach him when he doesn't want to be. I explained to her I let him do what he wanted for a full week before I started testing if he would want to sniff my finger from a distance. On one hand I'm happy for him, he was really stressed being kept in a room like that. He wanted to explore the entire place and I felt so bad hearing him crying. I just hope it all works out. I know she will treat him well I just don't know if she fully understands what kind of cat she's taking in. She may be really disappointed in a week or 2 when he's still not letting her close to him. In that case I'll still be here ready to take him back in- would just be a bummer he missed his shot at being neutered. I don't know how soon she will be able to get him into her vets office but tbh it will not be an easy feat...he will for sure lash out at her being a stranger and all. It was pretty difficult for us to put him in his carrier just the other day.

 

[Furballsmom]

This shows me she's still trying to approach him when he doesn't want to be

I think I would suggest to her that if she can't get a neuter appointment soon, to take advantage of the one you already have set up.

On one hand I'm happy for him,

I hope you're right.

 

[Furballsmom]

I guess I didn't realize you weren't going to wait to see how the neutering would help him.

I should have posted this article sooner (I understand he's not a kitten), and maybe you asked all the questions, but there definitely were red flags.

In case you can't tell, I'm really concerned for this cat's safety. I hope I'm wrong.

“kittens To Good Homes” – How To Find A Good Forever Home For Your Kittens – TheCatSite Articles

 

[gatolover77]

I guess I didn't realize you weren't going to wait to see how the neutering would help him.

I should have posted this article sooner (I understand he's not a kitten), and maybe you asked all the questions, but there definitely were red flags.

In case you can't tell, I'm really concerned for this cat's safety. I hope I'm wrong.

“kittens To Good Homes” – How To Find A Good Forever Home For Your Kittens – TheCatSite Articles

I was definitely going to wait, especially after I was able to get one on Saturday. When I talked to this woman she seemed very experienced, showed me her cat that passed from old age a few months ago, and gave me her vet info. When I told her he would be ready for adoption around Monday if she's interested, she sort of convinced me. I'm not trying to take the blame off of myself- but she seemed very concerned about the stress both cats were under. She told me it wasn't good for them to be that stressed and I agreed, she assured me she could get them into her local vet that she's used for her own cat, and the stray/ferals? that she's helped before. It all sounded great. I thought I was doing the best thing for the kitty, of course I would have loved to see how it worked out after he was neutered , but hearing him at the door meowing, yowling almost all night was making me wonder if he was unhappy here. I felt extra pressure too with my partner losing sleep every night and having to go work a really hard job while I got to work from home and sleep on the bed at night.

I also wanted to add that in my area the shelters are all at capacity and they're waiving adoption fees to get people to adopt. I'm on some of the apps for local stuff and there are so many people trying to rehome, adopt out, and they're not having any luck. There's a crisis going on I'm not sure if it's all over the country or just my local area but part of me thought what if he gets neutered and they still want to go at it? Would I be an idiot to miss out on giving him to this seemingly nice, experienced woman? I was not expecting to hear from anyone so soon, I pretty much had him posted in my local group just in case (thinking I wouldn't get any serious interest for weeks, which by then he would have been neutered and I would know for sure if it would work out at my place).

Can I ask what about what I've said about her is making you concerned? Do you think she may harm him? I do not have that feeling at all, I didn't know about that adoption questionnaire but I would say majority of those things I did ask. I do think her intentions are good, she was on cloud 9 on adoption day with a back seat full of goodies from petco. She got her home all prepared for him too.
I do feel uneasy about something, but I'm not sure what?

 

[Furballsmom]

I do feel uneasy about something, but I'm not sure what?

Bless your heart. I hate to say this but I had in the back of my mind that she was getting him for dog bait.

However, I can't see that happening if she went and spent money specifically for him -

with a back seat full of goodies from petco.

Can I ask what about what I've said about her is making you concerned?

Her stating that she's handled ferals and done rescue before, yet she reaches right in to the carrier, consequently gets bitten which to me is a "well of course he bit you! If you were such a great cat person, you'd have paid attention when being told he's not people friendly!", and then says he's an aggressive cat and that you put your other cat in danger taking in this one.

 

[gatolover77]

Bless your heart. I hate to say this but I had in the back of my mind that she was getting him for dog bait.

However, I can't see that happening if she went and spent money specifically for him -



Her stating that she's handled ferals and done rescue before, yet she reaches right in to the carrier, consequently gets bitten which to me is a "well of course he bit you! If you were such a great cat person, you'd have paid attention when being told he's not people friendly!", and then says he's an aggressive cat and that you put your other cat in danger taking in this one.

Ok so you inspired me to dig deeper than I was comfortable with before. I contacted his previous owner on social media, just because I knew that she contacted them the day after she adopted him. I heard back from the original owner of the kitty and they accidently filled me in on something. I mentioned to her I don't use social media (I had to reactivate my page to contact the original owner) so she likely thought I would never find this out. Her beloved deceased kitty she told me about and showed me is not in heaven, but still in her home. She also has a black lab. She completely lied on one of my biggest requirements for him to go to a home with no pets. She claims he's getting along great with her pets and sent a video of him to the original owner. Thing is he was ok with my kitty too after the first introduction (I waited a week). She immediately introduced them and claims they're getting along well. I guess it's possible because it's a female but who knows....this is bizarre. I would have had to go inside of her home to know she was lying though. Now not only am I pissed she lied about that, the original owner is pissed that she lied to me about it too. He's going to visit the kitty next week and will let me know if all is well. She's ignoring me because of her big lie.

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[Jaxson’s momma]

Wow! What a saga. It’s weird that the lady who adopted him from you lied about her cat passing. I agree she prob never rescued ferals since she doesn’t seem to know much about cats! It’s also weird that the original owner cares at all what’s going on since he or she was ready to abandon the cat in the first place! Your heart is in the right place trying to help this poor kitty. I hope it all works out

 

[Margret]

1. She lied to you. It's incredibly hard to find adoptive homes for kittens in your area right now, but she wanted this cat enough that she lied in order to get it. Why???!
2. She's obviously incapable of listening or she wouldn't have gotten bitten, which means she's an idiot as well.
3. The person who facilitated the adoption also lied about taking in the cat if it didn't work out. Did he or she lie about the original owner planning to desert the cat as well? It sounds like the original owner is more concerned about the cat's welfare than the "facilitator."
4. Since the woman who adopted the cat from you is clearly an idiot, it's fairly safe to assume that she isn't up-to-date on her tetanus vaccinations and is unlikely to think of that herself. For your own safety, find some way to advise her that she needs to see a doctor about the cat bite, and document that you've done so. Cat bites are incredibly dangerous, and the deeper the bite the greater the danger.

Margret

 

[Mal1985]

About a month ago someone in my area put ads out about a 4 year old male cat that needed a new home. The owner of the cat was going to release him to the streets if he wasn't adopted within 1 week. I had been looking for a 2nd cat to keep my 8 year old boy company, and I didn't want this cat to suffer on the streets, so I contacted them. They told me he was a very quiet, well behaved kitty. I agreed to take him in to see if they get along and they promised if it didn't work out they would find him a new home.

The day before adoption I was informed that he was not neutered. I was obviously worried about this but no one else had volunteered to take him in and he had 1 day before being put on the streets. I picked him up from a friend of the owner(this person facilitated the whole process, didn't talk to the actual owner once). The cat hid for about a week. I kept them in separate rooms and at the end of week 1 started the introduction. All was well for about 2 weeks. Eventually the new cat started stalking and attacking my 8yr old boy. It wasn't playful at all and I had to break up 2 pretty bad fights. At this point he cannot come out and be near my cat without following him around until a fight starts. I live in a 1 bedroom apt (spacious enough for 2 cats but not ideal to have them in 2 separate rooms at all times . The new cat will now yowl ALL night to get out of the bedroom, just so he can get out to look at my cat and fight with him. Last night he yowled so much I thought he might lose his voice.I barely slept. I tried to distract him with toys, playing, cat tv, it only lasted a few minutes before he would start doing it again. This caused my 8yr old to stress out and come to the door and start clawing at it. My partner and I have been sleeping in separate rooms (one bedroom, one living room) so that neither cat freaks out at night. If my 8yr old boy is left all alone he will cry and scratch at the door, if the door is left open the new kitty will attack the 8yr old. My 8yr old also has asthma and the stress of it is making it flare up again after 9 months of no issues.

This is no way of living. I have no idea what to do but this situation has turned into a complete nightmare. I've taken in strays before and never has it been this tough. I've called all of my local places to get new kitty neutered and the soonest would be in 3 weeks. Even then I don't think the issue will be resolved immediately. I've tried reaching out to the person that brought him to me and they clearly were not being honest when they said they would take him in (temporarily) if it didn't work out. I've tried posting him on various pages to see if I can find him a loving home with no other cats and I've had 0 offers. I do not know what to do. I'm already using feliway, cbd oil, and doing the most I can to relax them. It's not working, they just don't mesh well with each other and the new kitty has behavioral issues. I forgot to add he will not let us touch him either. If we reach to pet him he backs away or gets angry. He is not aggressive towards us unless we try to touch him, and even then he will just swat or hiss.

I hope neutering does the trick but In my experience I have come across neutered cats that are territorial and aggressive to familiar cats so it depends on his nature too
I can’t imagine that stress you’re dealing with I have a problem with a neighbours cat constantly terrorising my two boys and I have decided to move house because of it not stopping over 2 years

 

[Mal1985]

Unfortunately, my partner sleeping on the couch a month longer is not right or an option. I cannot get a neuter appointment soon enough, and also we will be leaving town(next month) to visit family and I feel deeply uncomfortable leaving them in this situation with a pet sitter checking in daily. New kitty waits right by the door to bolt out, and once he's out he's very hard to catch as he will lunge at you if you try to pick him up to put him back. I only trust myself in this situation(it's even very difficult for me and he has slipped out more than once) and we have a non refundable flight to check on family we haven't seen in 2 years. We're already sleep deprived at this point, I need some kind of immediate solution.

both mine are brothers and semi feral their father was a tomcat and he was completely feral and took a long time for them to get familiar and trust me and one of them only lets me touch him after a full 5 years it really just depends on how much human interaction they had when young but even now if a stranger comes over they run away and hide can’t get close
That’s why I never adopted them out it would be so hard for them to adjust like a regular cat

 

[gatolover77]

both mine are brothers and semi feral their father was a tomcat and he was completely feral and took a long time for them to get familiar and trust me and one of them only lets me touch him after a full 5 years it really just depends on how much human interaction they had when young but even now if a stranger comes over they run away and hide can’t get close
That’s why I never adopted them out it would be so hard for them to adjust like a regular cat

Yes I had a long talk with the original owner and they told me the kitty was never into people. The kitty only like 2 of the family members so that's probably just the his personality.