Need Advice On How To Progress Cat Introduction! New Cat, 2 Resident Cats

[rubysmama]

Cocoa's the newest, right? If your parents are up to having another cat, maybe re-homing him with them would be the best for everyone. And you would still get to see the little guy when you visit your parents.

Not the result you were hoping for, I know, but at least it's a backup plan if things don't improve.

 

[radarlove413]

Thank you, and yes, he is the newest cat. We have spoken with the rescue organization and our vet about what we've been doing, and they've confirmed that we are doing everything we can. So there's that, at least. Cocoa seems like he'd be fine with current territory sharing arrangements, but we are concerned about Dunlop's physical and mental health if the stress doesn't get better for him.

The rescue organization said they'll bring up our situation at their morning staff meeting tomorrow and get back to me with more ideas if they have any.

 

[radarlove413]

I'm honestly just feeling so defeated right now. Even the rescue organization agreed that re-introducing wouldn't be a great option since everyone feels frustrated when it comes to confining.

The past few days have been okay. Dunlop is on a higher dose of Clomicalm, so he's not actively looking around for Cocoa. But, when he does see him, Cocoa automatically goes under a bed since it's a safe place. Dunlop is fine the first time, but when Cocoa comes out again, Dunlop chases him and gets a bit more hostile. Don has been better, but he had an aggressive episode yesterday when Cocoa scared him. I stuck him in the Thundershirt all night, and he was way better today, sleeping in the bed with me like normal, etc.

Cocoa isn't very assertive. Which we thought would be great, since he's not challenging the status quo. But it makes the residents want to chase him. Play therapy makes the residents more aggressive when they do see him. Food is alright. Cocoa is still pretty happy and just waits for the residents to sleep and then does "cat-stuff." But, is this really a great existence for him long term? Honestly, no. We are two people. Having a separated basement cat/ two upstairs cats isn't fair either because we cannot spend a proper amount of time with everyone.

The rescue organization told us to give it another month, which I will try and do. I guess I'm just feeling pretty exhausted too, since we've spent so much money on Cocoa and medications, etc, and the idea of this not working out is making me sad. Dunlop is so angry at me and hasn't really played for a week. I can't even let myself play/bond with Cocoa much more, since he may be re-homed with my Mom and I don't want him to be sad. I'm super behind on my painting/personal business because I've spent hours of my time off of my full-time job trying to make this integration work.

I'm honestly just waiting for Dunlop to start spraying again in anger at this point. They were so, so happy before we thought it'd be a great idea to introduce another cat.

 

[stephmnichols]

How long have you had Cocoa for now? Since they are adult cats I just know they can take SO much longer to adjust. My two (2 year and 3.5 year old) girls are only JUST being let out somewhat-unsupervised during the day (i.e. access to one another is available most of the day when we are both home, and usually we are downstairs not hawk-watching while one stays upstairs and the other meanders around, but they are not being left with access to each other without anyone home) and it's been almost 6 months. They're taking their sweet time as well and I've definitely felt defeated before, and guilty that resident cat's life was turned upside down, but I do believe that their progress (and yours, from the sounds of it) is an indication that things will eventually work out...

 

[radarlove413]

How long have you had Cocoa for now? Since they are adult cats I just know they can take SO much longer to adjust. My two (2 year and 3.5 year old) girls are only JUST being let out somewhat-unsupervised during the day (i.e. access to one another is available most of the day when we are both home, and usually we are downstairs not hawk-watching while one stays upstairs and the other meanders around, but they are not being left with access to each other without anyone home) and it's been almost 6 months. They're taking their sweet time as well and I've definitely felt defeated before, and guilty that resident cat's life was turned upside down, but I do believe that their progress (and yours, from the sounds of it) is an indication that things will eventually work out...

Now, we've had him about 5 weeks. So 1 week of supervised visits, and he's been totally out for the past week now. Thank you for adding your story, it does make me feel better about our situation! We've been spoiled in the past by our cats adjusting within a week or two. We're trying the "mostly ignore them until you hear yowling" approach.

Dunlop is our grumpy teenager living in the basement right now, and Donatello is adjusting decently, but also being a bit of a bully. Cocoa is still super great and chill. Dunlop is pretty jumpy and not wanting to play much, and I know part of it is the Clomicalm, so we're just waiting for him to adjust to the dose as well. We're debating putting Donatello on the lowest dose too. He's alright, but if Cocoa moves too fast, his "attack the prey" instinct kicks in. Like this morning, he was fine sitting on the bed watching Cocoa wait for breakfast in the bedroom, but when Cocoa ran into the kitchen, it freaked him out and he did a little attack meow and tried to tackle him with puffy tail. (Which brought Crabby Tabby out of the basement with puffy fur too) Same when Cocoa tried to get away from him under the bed, even though I'm pretty sure before that event, Don was just watching him and trying to play.

Dunlop's never been the most affectionate cat to begin with, but he hasn't slept upstairs at all since Cocoa came out. Cocoa's "territory" seems to be the kitchen, table, and dining room/part of the spare bedroom, so it's good the residents don't bother him when he's there. He mostly stays away from the basement since Dunlop claimed that as his, but when he's been brave he's ventured into my office a few times.

 

[stephmnichols]

I think I agree, as you said, that you've been spoiled in the past, because to me that sounds like pretty good progress for only 5 weeks! To me, it sounds like you're doing everything right and their timeline is totally normal (better than mine lol!)
Cocoa and Donatello's relaxing versus "prey" relationship sounds similar to ours as well (although mine is new cat chasing resident). I just lock Maui in a separate room for 5-10 minutes every time she chases Coffee now and she seems to be slowly figuring it out that Coffee isn't her toy.
I think Dunlop just needs some more time to adjust to the newcomer in his space. I know it's hard not to stress, but honestly I think your guys will be okay eventually! 5 weeks isn't that long (although I know it feels like it)

 

[radarlove413]

I think I agree, as you said, that you've been spoiled in the past, because to me that sounds like pretty good progress for only 5 weeks! To me, it sounds like you're doing everything right and their timeline is totally normal (better than mine lol!)
Cocoa and Donatello's relaxing versus "prey" relationship sounds similar to ours as well (although mine is new cat chasing resident). I just lock Maui in a separate room for 5-10 minutes every time she chases Coffee now and she seems to be slowly figuring it out that Coffee isn't her toy.
I think Dunlop just needs some more time to adjust to the newcomer in his space. I know it's hard not to stress, but honestly I think your guys will be okay eventually! 5 weeks isn't that long (although I know it feels like it)

I really hope so! We thought today was a good day, until a few minutes ago. Cocoa was just in the basement and we had to come running downstairs when we heard a three way cat fight. Don had been stalking Cocoa a bit, but I decided to let it play out. Then I heard screaming downstairs and found Dunlop and Don staring each other down with aggressive puffy fur, and Cocoa hiding. My husband and I are seriously wondering if this will get better tonight, it's heartbreaking.

 

[stephmnichols]

I know how you feel! I've been there too, wondering if things will ever feel happy and normal, but all I can say is give it time! Try not to stress, it will all work out one way or another

 

[radarlove413]

I know how you feel! I've been there too, wondering if things will ever feel happy and normal, but all I can say is give it time! Try not to stress, it will all work out one way or another

I hope so! Dunlop is just so angry looking all the time, we're really going to be watching him. These are such angry eyes Having Cocoa in a separate room isn't even relaxing him enough to coax him out of the basement.

 

[stephmnichols]

Aw! He's a cutie, even if he's a little bit of a grumpy gills right now. Coffee frequently has that face on too. They're just set in their ways for now, but they'll both come around I'm sure.

 

[shieara]

What a cutie!

Just wanted to give you some solidarity. Mine still get into occasional fights and I keep them separated at night, but things are so much better then they were when I first brought Sammy home. Hopefully time will help with yours.

 

[radarlove413]

Thanks guys!

Funny enough, Dunlop has been way better with Cocoa over the past few days. They're not close by any means, but he did creep onto the kitchen cabinets and lay in Cocoa's bed, right beside Cocoa, without an attack. He also let Cocoa jump down and get away from him and just kept napping. After the Saturday fight though, Cocoa won't go into the basement.

Donatello got into a snit last night and had a fight with Cocoa in the kitchen for some unknown reason. My husband said that Cocoa actually defended himself though, which is good! He had to separate them since they were rolling around. We're thinking it could be a dominance thing, or something about kitchen + food set him off. He was a bit aggressive this morning too at breakfast, (loud meows and swishy tail while looking at Cocoa) but calmed down and walked away after he had a full belly. I have a Clomicalm prescription for him too, but I'm debating if we should use it or not still. Still planning on assessing how it's going at the end of the month.

 

[radarlove413]

I bit the bullet and bought another Feliway diffuser for the dining room/kitchen area, since I didn't think the range on the other was reaching Cocoa's area (in the basement and upstairs bedroom). I don't know if it was the Feliway, or Cocoa suddenly grew a backbone, but he's actually growling a bit at Dunlop now instead of just running!

Donatello was a bully last night and this morning. No attacks, but chasing Cocoa onto the counters when he saw him (it's hard to tell who ran first... haha). Thankfully, he actually will eat Clomicalm in a pill pocket, so I figured starting him on it won't hurt at this point. Dunlop is adjusting well to his, so if it can help Donatello's prey drive and bullying instincts, I'm all for trying it. He's also had loads of play with Cocoa safely locked up.

Dunlop has been upstairs a lot more, and stares at Cocoa a bit and jumps on the counters to look at him. Not nearly as aggressively as before! Cocoa actually will look at him and growl if he seems to want to get into "his space." Hopefully this newfound confidence will be helpful and not start a war. I know that Donatello and Dunlop had to have a few "fur flying chasing around the house and screaming" fights before they figured their hierarchy out, so I'm trying not to be so nervous about fights this time around. After all, nobody has fought for a few days and there haven't been any injuries when it has happened.

 

[rubysmama]

Hopefully this newfound confidence will be helpful and not start a war.

I hope so too.

 

[radarlove413]

I hope so too.

So far, it's interesting! Cocoa hasn't been offensively aggressive, but the last time Dunlop tried to growl/trap him under the bed, he did growl back and took a few swipes at him. (Don't worry, there are multiple escape routes around each bed. If Cocoa really wants out, he can get out) Donatello has chilled out a bit, and hung out with me in my office downstairs for the first time in weeks. I feel like the success of this intro will depend on if Dunlop can get over himself or not. Since Cocoa isn't being traumatized by Dunlop's power plays, still just letting it play out in the hopes that he'll eventually realize Cocoa doesn't want to be alpha.

Cocoa not going into the basement anymore actually seems to be helping. The residents can go down there and sleep/get away from him and know he won't be a "threat," and Cocoa can do his cat stuff while they're sleeping. If I can get some videos this weekend of their interactions, I'll post them.

 

[rubysmama]

Maybe the new Feliway is helping?

 

[stephmnichols]

That's so good to hear! I honestly feel like our introductions were kind of similar; almost like once I decided to just give them some more freedom, they went from making very small steps very slowly, to huge milestones in the span of a week or so. So I almost wonder if the intro is like a slow climb, and then a rapid uptick! Sounds like your guys are making big progress

 

[radarlove413]

That's so good to hear! I honestly feel like our introductions were kind of similar; almost like once I decided to just give them some more freedom, they went from making very small steps very slowly, to huge milestones in the span of a week or so. So I almost wonder if the intro is like a slow climb, and then a rapid uptick! Sounds like your guys are making big progress

Thanks guys! Today was huge with Donatello’s progress - no hissing and he’s acting like normal, with following Cocoa more than chasing. He’s reluctant to approach more though since Dunlop (alpha) is being such a jerk.

Dunlop is having a really bad day today. When he was upstairs when I got home from work, he was stalking Cocoa and yowled/lunged at him a few times. He didn’t even want to let Cocoa be on the kitchen counters tonight. (He just looked mean). He went downstairs after half an hour and has just been sleeping ever since. (Not interested in play at all and not wanting pets) I’m not sure if I should try a different medication yet. He’s the most upsetting part of this - he used to be such a happy, go lucky boy. Anyway, I’ve attached a photo of him staring at Cocoa with his mean eyes, just after the second time he screamed him up there. (Cocoa was fine - just napped for a bit)

 

[stephmnichols]

I really think Dunlop will come around. Five weeks is really not much time at all when it comes to cat adjustments! I admit that I still worry sometimes too that Coffee will be all skittish around Maui forever, but then I look back on the progress they've made and can't believe how far they've come. It's a slow process. I think Dunlop will be okay

 

[radarlove413]

I really think Dunlop will come around. Five weeks is really not much time at all when it comes to cat adjustments! I admit that I still worry sometimes too that Coffee will be all skittish around Maui forever, but then I look back on the progress they've made and can't believe how far they've come. It's a slow process. I think Dunlop will be okay

Thank you! Did you experience a lot of fighting too?

Today my Mom was over and witnessed one of the worst bouts of aggression yet. Cocoa was in the bedroom helping me fold laundry, but went under the bed when he saw Don. Then Dunlop came in. Don was feeling very playful, so when he saw Cocoa move fast he did a swat and hiss, like prey. Then forgot about him. Dunlop, on the other hand, went from just looking at him to suddenly howling and trying to swat him under the bed. He kept growling and getting more agitated. My mom tried to distract him with a visual barrier, but then he started getting aggressive with her. Then, he left the bedroom and went into the kitchen. When Cocoa came out of the bedroom, he lost his mind. Cocoa saw him and tried to run, but went into the bathroom and Dunlop jumped on him and screamed. Cocoa ran under the other bed, and Dunlop got under there and was a foot away from him, fully puffed. (I put Don in another room at this point because misdirected aggression would have happened if he’d seen him) He gradually calmed down a bit, and then Cocoa ran into the kitchen while Dunlop stayed under the bed. He finally came out and went to sleep downstairs. (Cocoa’s fine, ate and is sleeping happily).

It shook my Mom too, and she did agree that Dunlop has been just plain mean since we brought Cocoa home.