My Sweet Boy Burt

[Antonio65]

If could have said anything to you at that moment, it would be, "thank you for the wonderful life you gave me. I love you now and forever".

Please let Bob know that our hearts are with him as well. I'm sure he is trying to be strong for you but I can only imagine how hard this must be for him.

If I could give two Purraises to this post I would!

 

[les26]

These first few days have that surreal feeling, almost like you are waking from a bad dream and are between sleep and being awake. The house feels so empty, every spot my Burtie lay so vacant and cold. But I did realize this morning that having other sweet little ones present to fill that void helps, it truly helps to have the distraction of being forced to go through the routine of caring for others, it fills the empty hole in our lives. Even though it was inevitable, it ended the suffering that had to have been there, though he never showed it, it's still is so terribly painful to not have that sweet boy in our lives anymore. The last words he heard were those of how much we loved him.

Deb and I remember when our dog Rusty died in 1995, how neither one of us wanted to even come home, the emptiness of the house was too much to bear as he was our only pet. Last night I was telling her about your story, and she filled up with tears and said that she understands how you feel, that she STILL after all these years can't talk about Rusty, it makes her cry still, how they are a part of the family and it just tears you up when they leave even though we still have a house full of them, but it is a good distraction as you said, you look in their sad little faces, they feel the loss too and also pick up very keenly how we are hurting, so we must forge on and take care of them, they depend upon us 100%, and when their time is up we will have a broken heart again, but like my Nana would say "that's life, Les", which is true, but it is the down side of life when we lose a close pet or person we love dearly.

Deb was always a dog person, I had a few cats growing up. We got married in 1989 and she already had Rusty a cockapoo, and he was a character, funny, always happy, he knew his toys by name if you said "go get your inch worm" he'd bring it, "go get your hamburger" he'd bring that toy etc., very fun. He used to go along with me when I went to cut Nana's grass, you couldn't even say her name because he already KNEW I was going and his shrill bark of excitement would pierce our ears! And she loved it, she'd baby him, actually cook him meat and cut it for him and wait until it was cool enough to put the plate down but he'd start eating it before she even got it on the floor lol, she'd walk him and they gave each other much joy and I'm sure still are in Heaven. When we went to Cape Cod one year she watched him, he stayed with her and this was the first time we were away from him so when we were entering Pennsylvania we said outloud several times "hang on Russ, we're coming, we're almost home!", but when we got to her house to pick him up he took one look at us and ran back to her in the kitchen lol!!!! He went outside to pee and ran right back in, but we said "Russ, we are going home" but he could care less, she spoiled him and he would've been perfectly happy to have stayed there with her forever ha ha, such funny memories....but he got a tumor in his stomach and we had no choice to put him down, and Nana was there with us too to say "solong" to him. After he passed, it hit us very, very hard, and we decided to wait until we would heal to get another dog or whatever. I had always loved Guinea pigs, and Deb was right ready to get me one for my birthday that year BUT fate stepped in; I was out cutting firewood and hauling a trailer of it home, thinking of Rusty, how it was 6 weeks and thought maybe it was time that we got some kind of animal. When I came home, Deb was by his grave in our backyard, looking at it, crying, and she looked at me and I said "maybe it's time that we think about getting some kind of animal around here", and I swear to you as SOON as I said those words, around the corner of the house there appeared a little black and grey cat....I smiled and looked at it, she said "what?", turned around and there was this little kitty, sent from Heaven, almost like Rusty and Nana and others up there were waiting to hear us say those words and said "now" and there was this little cat who some (fill in a bad word here) apparently shot in the one eye with a bb, and was crying and hanging out with us, and was hanging out in the garage as I put the rounds of wood away, and I said "do you want to stay here? If so, we'll call you "Smoke", you're black and greyish white, we'll call you Smoke", and Deb came out with a bowl of dry cat food to which I said "wait a minute, where'd you get cat food, we don't even have a cat?" but she said when she would take Rusty to visit her Mom he would eat the cat's dry food so for a lark once she gave her a box of it lol!!!! But to make a long story even more unbearable, "Smoke" disappeared, we were going out that night and in the next few days we walked around looking for her, talking to people but she was gone, but she came back on Thanksgiving Day, crying up in a Pine tree, and a few nights later I grabbed her and we took her to the vet, had her checked out, brought her home, and that first night she slept ALL NIGHT in a bed we got her, and Deb spent most of the night watching her sleep, she could FINALLY relax because she knew she was safe and had a home. We had her about 4 years, and one night she just started flopping around in the foyer, I thought she was chasing a bug but she was actually having a heart attack; we rushed her to the vet but no one could save her, the one vet said "even if I was in the room with medicine I couldn't have saved her", but we gave her 4 great years, and she started this whole thing of us having all these cats all these years, I never did get my Guinea pig and sometimes wonder how things would have turned out if I had....but we have some great kitties, we love them all but you know Sylvester is my favorite as he reminds me of Simon and Sebastian put together; he was sitting on the kitchen floor last night blinking at me, me at him, and I said to Deb "I sure see both the boys in him" and he stopped blinking and looked at me almost to say "hey, dummy, it's ME, Sylvester!!!", but I recalled how when I was leaving his old owner's home to go to the vet to check him out he was in the carrier next to me, I looked at him and said "did Sebastian talk to you?" meaning I'm sure you know why I am getting you, and as soon as I said that he blinked at me, so that was him saying "yes, I know all about it...."he is my Angel boy, and when he passes I will surely die a lot too, but as Nana used to say "that's life, Les".

I just felt compelled to say all this, I hope it made you smile....the point is they dig their way so deep into our hearts and soul that they become one with us....take care of the others and yourselves, it will be a roller coaster ride of emotions as you know for awhile, but the love you all shared is always in your hearts and memories, and the reunion one day down the line will be so sweet.

"Lord Bless you"......

 

[Antonio65]

les26 ,
beutifully written, seems a book! I cried a lot reading it
Have you ever thought to write a real book out of this story?

 

[les26]

les26 ,
beutifully written, seems a book! I cried a lot reading it
Have you ever thought to write a real book out of this story?

No I never did, but thank you for the kind words.....Smoke was truly a love story for us, sent from Heaven at just the right time.....and so is Sylvester who means the world to me, as we get older things become more precious to us and mean so much more to us as you know.

When Sebastian got sick November 2015 I posted on here asking some questions and many people were so kind and wonderful and helpful, and Di and Bob was one of the foremost ones that helped as he passed just several days later; I will never forget the kindness and love and support and well wishes from many on here, thought about how I felt about all the pets we lost over the years, and make it a point to stay here and try to help others who are so heartbroken and lost, help them through the darkness even a little bit. I still pick Sylvester up, hug him and tell him "we found each other....in the darkness" as I was really hurting from losing Sebastian as I did (coming home and having him die in my arms) and Sylvester being thin and flea bitten and mostly kept in a bathroom because another cat wanted to fight with him all the time, but we found each other, and out of the darkness we came into the light, together, and I just want to share that light with others who are hurting as I know how they feel, no matter the circumstances how they lost their precious little friend, either weeks old or 20 years old or any age in between, it hurts so badly you too feel like you will die and don't care if you do, but hold on, never give up, never give in, we will all make it through on here if we have each other....

Take care of them, take care of yourselves and be good to one another, they need us and we surely need them!!!!

 

[Purr-fect]

Di and Bob........Im sorry for your loss of Burt. In the short time I have been on this site, i have already seen that your posts are pillars of support and comfort to those who need it.

There is nothing I can tell you that you dont already know. The next days and weeks will be difficult. But it will get better slowly. Burt will forever live in your memories.

My wife and I planted a small tree in memory of our little girl passing. It helps to have a place to "go". We can see the tree from our kitchen window and with a glance we can "be with her".

With the closing (but not forgotten) chapter, a new one can open. We lost our girl, but because of our wonderful experiences with her......we met greg and arnold. You will likely have more chapters also.

In the mean time.......look after yourself. They say the loss of a loved one is one of the greatest stresses in our lives. Perhaps treat yourself with some activity or indulgence.

One day at a time.

 

[betsygee]

I'm just seeing this. I'm so very sorry for your loss of Burt. As others have said, I wish I could give you the eloquent words of comfort that you've given so many others. I can't, but know that you're in my thoughts, my heart breaks for you. RIP, little Burt.

 

[di and bob]

Thank you so much, kat0121, for taking the time to reply, it means more to both of us then you will ever know. Bob is taking it incredibly hard. He tries, but breaks down when his mind wanders to the painful parting, Burt was his little buddy. We'll get through this, time will heal our hearts.

 

[di and bob]

Thank you so much for your kind words from the heart, betsygee and Purr-fect, it truly helps to know there are others out there that know what you are going through and give their condolences. Bless you both.

 

[Ellie's Mom]

Thank you so much for your kind words from the heart, betsygee and Purr-fect, it truly helps to know there are others out there that know what you are going through and give their condolences. Bless you both.

Thinking of your precious Burt, maybe he and Ellie are together across the bridge with sunshine and no pain. I've been crying all evening and reading for some comfort. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you

 

[jcat]

My condolences. Seventeen years of love and companionship mean he'll leave a huge gap, but so many fond memories.

 

[Boris Diamond]

So very sorry to hear this. Cats are great companions and it is heartbreaking when someone loses such a good friend. You are in my prayers.

 

[di and bob]

boris diamond, jcat, thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me. Ellie's Mom, thank you too, knowing you somehow take time from your own grief to console someone else is a testament to your big heart. Bless you all.

 

[di and bob]

Les26, you DID make me smile! Your story was absolutely beautiful. So full of love and tragedy it brought a roller coaster of emotions. Your wife, Deb, was bonded so tightly to Rusty I can feel her pain. He was her soulmate. You and Antonio65 have been so comforting to the lost souls that come to this site, I smile every time I see your posts. It is because you understand what these people are going through, and know how much it helps to have someone say, "it's all right to have these feelings, you are not alone". Although we will never get over the pain of loss, we will get through it. It always helps to have that light at the end of the tunnel, to know that time itself will bring relief to the agonizing beginning of that journey into grief. Although all things that once brought us happiness elude us at the beginning, somehow we learn to live again, to take those baby steps back to the present and actually have glimpses of a future. Sure, we fall and hurt again along the way, but we get back up and try again until we get it right. We finally accept that we will not have them in our lives again, but they will forever be a part of us through our memories and be bonded to our souls through love.
My heart aches for these people that come to this site because I know how they feel, I've been there. I don't want them to go through the pain by themselves. and even though I don't know them, we are connected through our grief. People who reach out on this site often do so because they don't know what else to do. They often don't have a support system that can help them, and if you haven't had a loss it's hard to give comfort, to understand what is involved... the guilt, the anger, the feeling of utter hopelessness. I let a little pain out each time I comfort someone else on this site, a burden shared is a burden lightened.

I want to thank EVERYONE who comes to this site and gives comfort to the grieving. Your words are grasped and hung on to like a drowning man grasps anything within reach, your words of comfort, no matter how small, are more meaningful to a broken heart than you will ever know. May God bless each and every one of you!

 

[Mia6]

Di,

Although I already expressed my condolences, I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and Bob.
Sending healing hugs your way. The first weeks or so, waking up, then perhaps seconds later remembering
one of our babies has passed is gut-wrenching.

Extra big hugs,

Mia

 

[di and bob]

You are a Godsend to this site, Mia6, especially in the midst of your struggles with your pain and the loss of your own beloved Kirsten. I pray that she and my Burt are young again, playing the games that all cats play once again. Thank you for your hugs they are appreciated more than you will ever know. God bless you, and I pray that you find peace in your heart and relief from the pain that you live with. Kiss your 'daughters' for me!

 

[babiesmom5]

I am just now reading about dear Burt. Di and Bob, I am so very, very sorry. My condolences are belated, but just as sincere. I can truly empathize having lost my soul kitty in December to cancer and her (biological) sister was diagnosed with it two days later.

I have read many of your soothing words of comfort to others here as it applies to me. You have been so very helpful in giving me strength along my own grief journey...and now you and Bob are sadly on your own grief journey.

The pain is raw; it hurts and hurts deeply. Each cat has a different and unique personality as we all know. With your Burt, undoubtedly, you shared a special relationship, an unspoken bond that can never be broken. We grieve daily for the physical affirmation of that bond and now we must rely only upon memories. There is a huge void.

God has given you a special gift of being able to articulate words of comfort. I and many others here on TCS have been beneficiaries of this gift. While I cannot come anywhere close to your level, I just want to share with you some words from Helen Keller. "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us". This is so true!

I have to believe that one day we will be reunited with our furbabies again. In the meantime, I pray that you and Bob will be strengthened by your faith, the love of family and friends including all here who are so very grateful for all that you do for all of us each day.

With hugs and heartfelt sympathy.

 

[Antonio65]

God has given you a special gift of being able to articulate words of comfort. I and many others here on TCS have been beneficiaries of this gift.

These words should be made of gold!

 

[Mia6]

You are a Godsend to this site, Mia6, especially in the midst of your struggles with your pain and the loss of your own beloved Kirsten. I pray that she and my Burt are young again, playing the games that all cats play once again. Thank you for your hugs they are appreciated more than you will ever know. God bless you, and I pray that you find peace in your heart and relief from the pain that you live with. Kiss your 'daughters' for me!

Aw, thank you Di but you and Bob are the heart and soul of the Bridge Forum.

I kissed the Vincie girl and Callie for you.

I do believe Burt and Kirsten are young again and I'll bet my Kirs has a huge crush on your Burt!!

Hugs,

Mia

 

[di and bob]

Burt was a handsome cat, Mia6, His fur was so dark grey it was almost black when he was younger, and he was marked like a tuxedo with white. He was the only cat I have ever had that had such a heavy undercoat that it made feeling him an experience, he felt like mink. But the one thing that defined him was his little side to side run when he raced across the lawn to greet us, his huge thick tail straight up in the air, almost a prance like a high stepping pacer. He will forever be remembered for that special run.

 

[di and bob]

babiesmom5, I truly hope I have comforted with my words, they are from the heart, born of understanding the gut wrenching, soul destroying pain that comes from losing someone we love so very much. If I can help soothe those broken hearts just a little, then my work is satisfying to my own soul. I do it in the memory of my own who have passed on to better worlds, it helps me as much as it hopefully helps others.
Sometimes I feel like I am repeating myself a little too often, like I am quoting a mantra. Sometimes it seems to be a little overwhelming at times, especially when there are multiple new threads. But it is what I believe, what I have learned on my own journey, and I want every one of them to know that although the journey does go on forever, it does become easier and the burden lighter to bear. We all have to go this path of pain alone, and in our own way, but we can be supported and helped along the way. To know you are not alone helps tremendously. To have the support of many on a site like this is priceless!