Here is another one that might be of help as well
Yahoo! Groups feline heart, support group
Yahoo! Groups feline heart, support group
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My Beautiful Cat Is Dying ... Prayers
- Thread starter inkysmom
- Start Date
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Im so sorry.May God b with ure kitty n u
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #23
Thanks everyone. He's holding his own so far. His oncologist called me today and spoke to me for almost an hour. That was nice of her but she pressured me a lot yo euthanize him now. I pressured her a lot to give me injectable strong pain meds for him. She says they aren't good for quality of life and I told her that they're better than forcing liquids and pills into him that stress him and cause him nausea.
I gave inky 8-10 injections a day the last few months of his life. Some of the same medications that Lovey is on. I give Ruby an allergy shot every two weeks. I've given intramuscular and subcutaneous medications and fluids to several cats and two horses. They're easier than forcing liquid meds into an animal who gets nauseous.
I flat out told her that it's better for his quality of life based on my knowing him and my experience with the same medications and prior pets.
Then she went back to pressuring me onto euthanizing him now. She hasn't seen him in days or weeks. I've neglected everything else and am with him 24/7. I maybe leave for a couple of hours a day.
He sleeps during the day, usually on or close to me or Ruby or the dog. Sometes I hear something in his breathing or I see a little tremor.
All evening and night he's pacing and flying around the place. Eating, drinking, climbing, using the litter, demanding attention. If I'm doing something he goes to Ruby for cuddles. Ruby is his little nurse and follows him everywhere, constantly grooming him.
I r had two different friends come over the past couple of days. Lovey was friendly and happy to interact. Both thought he looked better than the emails and paperwork said.
One of the friends has known Lovey for at least 3-4 years or longer.
The hospice/euthanasia vet is coming out tomorrow morning to see him. She's seen his records and spoken to the oncologist.
I brought up my concerns that he wasn't tested enough and staged for cancer spreading sooner. The oncologist said that he had an ultrasound in December which was completely normal. I had insisted on it because he was peeing on the futon and my dad was planning to visit for the holidays y I was afraid that Lovey would pee there while my dad slept
I don't know if I'm listening to my cat, am in denial, fighting the vets or my friends are crazy too. They're both coincidentally from very superstitious cultures and extremely religious so don't really believe the vet and are convinced he'll get a miracle. I'd love that but after losing so many I've given up on miracles.
Although my ancient horse got one. But she didn't have cancer and heart failure. No one ever definitively told me why she almost died almost two years ago. But she had Cushing's disease, was dangerously underweight, was in severe pain and had infections in two of her feet that went all the way to the bone. And she'd given up.
I'm losing my mind overthinking this. Whatever I do, I'll have regrets forever if I feel it's the wrong thing. How can a vet tell me right now is the right time when she isn't looking at him?
She says him not eating his canned food is a huge red flag. And he's affectionate and eating treats and dry food is just him appeasing me.
But he's seeking me and the good out. I'm not pressuring him to do anything. He initiates all his actions. Ruby follows him and grooms him so pressures him more than I do.
I medicate him, put out food, treats and water, change the kitty litter a lot and hug him whenever he comes to me.
I gave inky 8-10 injections a day the last few months of his life. Some of the same medications that Lovey is on. I give Ruby an allergy shot every two weeks. I've given intramuscular and subcutaneous medications and fluids to several cats and two horses. They're easier than forcing liquid meds into an animal who gets nauseous.
I flat out told her that it's better for his quality of life based on my knowing him and my experience with the same medications and prior pets.
Then she went back to pressuring me onto euthanizing him now. She hasn't seen him in days or weeks. I've neglected everything else and am with him 24/7. I maybe leave for a couple of hours a day.
He sleeps during the day, usually on or close to me or Ruby or the dog. Sometes I hear something in his breathing or I see a little tremor.
All evening and night he's pacing and flying around the place. Eating, drinking, climbing, using the litter, demanding attention. If I'm doing something he goes to Ruby for cuddles. Ruby is his little nurse and follows him everywhere, constantly grooming him.
I r had two different friends come over the past couple of days. Lovey was friendly and happy to interact. Both thought he looked better than the emails and paperwork said.
One of the friends has known Lovey for at least 3-4 years or longer.
The hospice/euthanasia vet is coming out tomorrow morning to see him. She's seen his records and spoken to the oncologist.
I brought up my concerns that he wasn't tested enough and staged for cancer spreading sooner. The oncologist said that he had an ultrasound in December which was completely normal. I had insisted on it because he was peeing on the futon and my dad was planning to visit for the holidays y I was afraid that Lovey would pee there while my dad slept
I don't know if I'm listening to my cat, am in denial, fighting the vets or my friends are crazy too. They're both coincidentally from very superstitious cultures and extremely religious so don't really believe the vet and are convinced he'll get a miracle. I'd love that but after losing so many I've given up on miracles.
Although my ancient horse got one. But she didn't have cancer and heart failure. No one ever definitively told me why she almost died almost two years ago. But she had Cushing's disease, was dangerously underweight, was in severe pain and had infections in two of her feet that went all the way to the bone. And she'd given up.
I'm losing my mind overthinking this. Whatever I do, I'll have regrets forever if I feel it's the wrong thing. How can a vet tell me right now is the right time when she isn't looking at him?
She says him not eating his canned food is a huge red flag. And he's affectionate and eating treats and dry food is just him appeasing me.
But he's seeking me and the good out. I'm not pressuring him to do anything. He initiates all his actions. Ruby follows him and grooms him so pressures him more than I do.
I medicate him, put out food, treats and water, change the kitty litter a lot and hug him whenever he comes to me.
It's extremely unprofessional of a vet to pressure someone to euthanize a pet!
A vet can only advice you that in certain conditions a pet could be euthanized, but the final choice rests on the owner.
I don't know how things work where you live, but over here there could be the details to report the vet to the board.
These could be signs that it's not time yet, and you know him better than anybody else in the world. Only you can tell if he's in pain, distress, or he's uncomfortable, tired, sick, not himself.
Hopefully she won't be biased or pushed by the oncologist to pressure you on the euthanasia.
This is a possibility, the fact that you're in denial and don't want/can't see what's going on.
When my Lola was sick and terminal she was still looking for cuddles, love and attention. She was hungry, would use the litter box, would like to go out and bathe in the sun or take a short walk in the grass. She would follow me everywhere, she wanted to stay with me always.
Meanwhile she was also on a course of acupuncture to ease her pain and stop the bleeding from her carcinoma.
The acupuncture was working very fine, but the acupuncturist vet kept telling me that I had to think about her quality of life that, according to her, wasn't there any longer.
But I insisted that she kept curing my cat with her needles every week.
Was I in denial? Wasn't I listening to my cat or the vet?
I don't know, or maybe I do know and I'm still denying. But those two months more I had with my Lola were a treasure for me.
And I am not lying to you, I was waiting for a miracle too, because I was sure it would have come, because I was praying hard, because I was doing "magic things" that I was sure they would have worked, because Lola was strong and had amazed the vets before... Because I didn't want to let her go.
So, the miracle HAD to come!
She can't, actually. Nobody can.
Keep doing what you're doing for him. You're doing great, and I'm supporting you.
And Lovey is a great and valiant warrior!
You've been through this with other cats previously so you know, better than most of us, what to look for. Plus your description of his behaviors, --I believe I would also be resistant to what the oncologist was saying.
I'm sorry that happened. You have enough to deal with already without someone, who hasn't seen him (send her a video?), putting pressure on you like that
.
Miracles aside for the moment, your baby is still appreciating things, which is huge.
I'm sorry that happened. You have enough to deal with already without someone, who hasn't seen him (send her a video?), putting pressure on you like that
.Miracles aside for the moment, your baby is still appreciating things, which is huge.
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I couldn't have said it better myself. 
Since you are with him constantly and know him better than anyone else you would never let him suffer. His quality of life is your main focus and it will be until the end. We will be thinking of you when the hospice vet visits. Please let us know what she has to say.
While there is joy, let there be life. You know him best, and you will know. We are with you. Always.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #29
I can't describe what your words of support mean to me. Thank you do much to every one of you, it's helpful beyond what I can explain.
Antonio65 the way you describe your Lola and her miracles and your hope and belief and faith in her sounds like me with my Lovey. I thought he would die back on November when he stopped eating, was constantly in the hospital and hated it, had a strong upper respiratory infections that nothing would help, went from twelve pounds to nine pounds, his liver was suffering, he had constant awful diarrhea everywhere and they had to shave his tail and his skin was raw on his behind and hind legs from the constant washing and he needed a cone. He was so weak and miserable, he was a skeleton, he was in pain and fought the cone and medications, he was literally hours away from having a feeding tube inserted. I had pee pads everywhere, I was constantly washing liquid diarrhea off everything, he would throw the pee pads off and sit on my pillows and bedding and get diarrhea on my bed and everywhere, he'd pee on things, usually the futon or my bed. He was 24/7 intense care but his spirit was so strong, as was he when he didn't want to do something.
He always wanted his hugs and cuddles and loved the vets and staff and had to be first for hugs and wrapped himself around my neck constantly sleeping purring and drooling wrapped around me do close to my face I literally couldn't breathe with his little paw wrapped in my hand.
He could never be close enough to me.
If I patted or cuddled with my dog or other cat Ruby, who he loved too, he'd race over frantically and push between me and the other pet. He'd sit on my dog's head or just sit on Ruby or swat him out of the way to be wrapped around me and cling with his paws around me, nails digging in frantically and drooling and biting. I could practically hear him saying ."No, ME!!! Me, me, me, me, ME closest always!!!"
I brought him back from all that awful health. He started eating again, the diarrhea resolved and I learned not to change his diet. His beautiful puffy tail grew back full force. I figured out the right combination of pain meds do he stopped peeing on things and as long as I left the large kitty litter in the kitchen open and uncovered and changed it daily to every other day, he'd only use the litter box.
He took the chemo pills grudgingly as long as I didnt isolate him after. That stressed him too much and he hated it!!! I had to make sure his special private water bowl was full of cold clean water and no one but him could touch it or I'd have to decontaminate it.
He required lots of temptations treats. Chicken. He'd easily eat a jumbo sized box of treats every few days . He got up to 12.6 pounds, more than he ever weighed in his life and maintained it!
His liver was normal. His ultrasound in December was normal, his blood work in January and February showed no evidence of cancer. No more chemo. He played with toys, wrestled and chased Ruby, played like a kitten, went back to chewing on and eating my cell phone charger cord, my hair, the end of his dry food bag, looking for trouble. Led me a merry chase around the place at medication time and swatted me drawing blood each time. And usually spit out a lot of the meds, usually in my face, mouth or eyes and ran like hell and hid while I remeasured more. He was good!
He seemed so normal and happy and active. Easily jumped the baby gate to the kitchen if I had dogs I was watching to get to the food and kitty litter. Loved jumping on and off the bed and tearing around the place with his little partner in crime Ruby. He was so happy and loving. Fought like a lion to go to the vet for checkups.
We'd had miracles and beaten this multiple myeloma monster which most cats don't survive three to six months from. Less than 50 percent are alive at all in six months. Almost none live one or more years. The majority don't live past three months.
Lovey was thriving.
I had to euthanize him today. He was eating and drinking and pacing and using the kitty litter and demanding love and hugs and clingy and following me everywhere. I got him to eat a little bit of his favorite can and some beef baby food and lots of his treats and dry food. I increased his pain meds to every six to eight hours. He got into the bedroom when I went in for a moment and triumohantly jumped on my bed where I haven't let him go since he's been home with his fractured leg.
We've spent literally years of our lives together on that bed. I wish I'd thought to bring him in there for the euthanasia . But it was all frazzled due to the first vet and being a hellish day.
He still wanted hugs and comfort from me. But was quieter today and both vets that came over said that he was dehydrated despite drinking a lot, had fluid in his chest from the cancer causing heart failure and had trouble breathing. He was weaker today and emergency treatment would have meant a traumatic car ride for maybe a day of improvement if anything. No home treatment would have helped save him or keep him comfortable to stay with me. No more miracles.
Two different vets saw him today and agreed so I have less doubts . He felt worse today and told me so. Although he always slept during the day and was more active and lively at night.
My other pets were there and got to sniff him and say goodbye. I'm not sure if they fully understood or not. I thought my dog was going to bite the vet when he saw the needles to orevepr him harming or touching Lovey. The dog was very bonded to him and protective. He would go frantic at appointments if they took Lovey out for tests or to admit him and be ecstatic to see his little brother again.
It was peaceful but the process of arranging it wasn't and was very horrible and stressful
The original hospice vet I used was late because she couldn't find parking, apparently one major street was closed for roadwork. She did call me but I missed the call because my friend who'd agreed to be there during the appointment for moral support literally panicked and bolted two minutes before so I was on the phone angry with the friend's cowardice
Then I had to go in the car with the vet, I found a spot in two minutes, had to pay because she didn't bring quarters for the meter (got an appointment in the middle of a large city). Then she convinced me it was crucial to euthanize and not wait as Lovey would suffer and could have a traumatic emergency event like a blood clot and be in agony. Then she didn't have time to do it because she'd be late to her next appointment. After being late to mine like it's my fault there's no easy parking
I had jobs where I was given disciplinary action or even terminated for being late. They didn't care if I spent two hours driving, parking or even had a car ac identc sick pet or emergency.
She offered to come back tommtomo and charge me the full price again. With no reduction in services and a full evaluation and euthanasia fee and refused to work with the cremation service that I've used for six other pets because she's not contracted with them. So she wanted $600 to make my cat suffer another day and refuse to make cremation easier so I'd have to pay another $200 for them to pick up too.
Because she wouldn't call her next appointment and say she has an emergency and would be late.
Then she called the oncologist and told them I had delayed the euthanasia another day even though he really needed it today and left out her role in it
I had to try to spend my last time with him while calling and looking up places to try to get someone else to come out. I got a service that I had spoken to last weekend. They immediately apologized for my bad experience with the other vet and their vet dearrarear his schedule and came out quickly. Too quickly I felt rushed even though he didn't try to rush me and I didn't get to focus on Lovey the way o wanted to today.
My friend's cowardice at the literal last second, Ruby was freaked out by two strangers in the house and wouldn't come out for the procedure .my dog got protective. They picked up on Lovey's health and my stress .
The original hospice vet emailed me later to check in. I was furious and emailed back very clearly how unethical and unprofessional I felt her treatment was a d how she made a horrible day much worse with her misguided priorities.
Then I got another pressuring email from the oncologist urging me to euthanize Lovey tomorrow, basically saying that I was torturing him which made me even more furious.
The hospice vet happened to call me to follow up on my email at that moment. I will give her credit for being brave.
Bottom line we has a very long time and she apologized profusely and refunded me all my money and said very kind things about my qualities as an owner from what she saw with Emerald in 2015 and Lovey today
She said she would call the oncologist immediately and explain and also explained that the only reason she couldn't stay was because her next client was a pet that was in an actively dying and suffering situation otherwise she never would have left. She said she didn't want to burden me with that information when I was so upset about Lovey.
She took my feedback much better than other vets have in the past.
But I miss my little angel so much. I kept hearing the little this of a cat landing from jumping down from the baby gate between the kitchen and bedroom where he and Ruby did their laps to run, chase play, get food and treats and use the preferred bug kitty litter
But Rubys glued to my side in the bedroom, so is my dog. There's no one left to jump the gate. And the gate is wide open.
Some of my friends think he's still here and doesn't want to let go of me either.
I could certainly be losing my mind too.
This was very long but it's the awful end to his story. His end itself was peaceful but a logistical nightmare
He was the only one of all my animals that didn't isolate and stop eating at the end. He fooled me because many times before when he didn't feel well he'd isolate under the bed, under a table, the bottom bunk of the kitty condo and not eat.
He wanted hugs and cuddles til the very end. Part of me has doubts that maybe he was scared and didn't want to die or didn't want to leave me, or was trying to comfort me. But I just wish he could have lived healthy forever. It's so quiet and still without his huge personality and demanding presence. I will always miss and love him.
Antonio65 the way you describe your Lola and her miracles and your hope and belief and faith in her sounds like me with my Lovey. I thought he would die back on November when he stopped eating, was constantly in the hospital and hated it, had a strong upper respiratory infections that nothing would help, went from twelve pounds to nine pounds, his liver was suffering, he had constant awful diarrhea everywhere and they had to shave his tail and his skin was raw on his behind and hind legs from the constant washing and he needed a cone. He was so weak and miserable, he was a skeleton, he was in pain and fought the cone and medications, he was literally hours away from having a feeding tube inserted. I had pee pads everywhere, I was constantly washing liquid diarrhea off everything, he would throw the pee pads off and sit on my pillows and bedding and get diarrhea on my bed and everywhere, he'd pee on things, usually the futon or my bed. He was 24/7 intense care but his spirit was so strong, as was he when he didn't want to do something.
He always wanted his hugs and cuddles and loved the vets and staff and had to be first for hugs and wrapped himself around my neck constantly sleeping purring and drooling wrapped around me do close to my face I literally couldn't breathe with his little paw wrapped in my hand.
He could never be close enough to me.
If I patted or cuddled with my dog or other cat Ruby, who he loved too, he'd race over frantically and push between me and the other pet. He'd sit on my dog's head or just sit on Ruby or swat him out of the way to be wrapped around me and cling with his paws around me, nails digging in frantically and drooling and biting. I could practically hear him saying ."No, ME!!! Me, me, me, me, ME closest always!!!"
I brought him back from all that awful health. He started eating again, the diarrhea resolved and I learned not to change his diet. His beautiful puffy tail grew back full force. I figured out the right combination of pain meds do he stopped peeing on things and as long as I left the large kitty litter in the kitchen open and uncovered and changed it daily to every other day, he'd only use the litter box.
He took the chemo pills grudgingly as long as I didnt isolate him after. That stressed him too much and he hated it!!! I had to make sure his special private water bowl was full of cold clean water and no one but him could touch it or I'd have to decontaminate it.
He required lots of temptations treats. Chicken. He'd easily eat a jumbo sized box of treats every few days . He got up to 12.6 pounds, more than he ever weighed in his life and maintained it!
His liver was normal. His ultrasound in December was normal, his blood work in January and February showed no evidence of cancer. No more chemo. He played with toys, wrestled and chased Ruby, played like a kitten, went back to chewing on and eating my cell phone charger cord, my hair, the end of his dry food bag, looking for trouble. Led me a merry chase around the place at medication time and swatted me drawing blood each time. And usually spit out a lot of the meds, usually in my face, mouth or eyes and ran like hell and hid while I remeasured more. He was good!
He seemed so normal and happy and active. Easily jumped the baby gate to the kitchen if I had dogs I was watching to get to the food and kitty litter. Loved jumping on and off the bed and tearing around the place with his little partner in crime Ruby. He was so happy and loving. Fought like a lion to go to the vet for checkups.
We'd had miracles and beaten this multiple myeloma monster which most cats don't survive three to six months from. Less than 50 percent are alive at all in six months. Almost none live one or more years. The majority don't live past three months.
Lovey was thriving.
I had to euthanize him today. He was eating and drinking and pacing and using the kitty litter and demanding love and hugs and clingy and following me everywhere. I got him to eat a little bit of his favorite can and some beef baby food and lots of his treats and dry food. I increased his pain meds to every six to eight hours. He got into the bedroom when I went in for a moment and triumohantly jumped on my bed where I haven't let him go since he's been home with his fractured leg.
We've spent literally years of our lives together on that bed. I wish I'd thought to bring him in there for the euthanasia . But it was all frazzled due to the first vet and being a hellish day.
He still wanted hugs and comfort from me. But was quieter today and both vets that came over said that he was dehydrated despite drinking a lot, had fluid in his chest from the cancer causing heart failure and had trouble breathing. He was weaker today and emergency treatment would have meant a traumatic car ride for maybe a day of improvement if anything. No home treatment would have helped save him or keep him comfortable to stay with me. No more miracles.
Two different vets saw him today and agreed so I have less doubts . He felt worse today and told me so. Although he always slept during the day and was more active and lively at night.
My other pets were there and got to sniff him and say goodbye. I'm not sure if they fully understood or not. I thought my dog was going to bite the vet when he saw the needles to orevepr him harming or touching Lovey. The dog was very bonded to him and protective. He would go frantic at appointments if they took Lovey out for tests or to admit him and be ecstatic to see his little brother again.
It was peaceful but the process of arranging it wasn't and was very horrible and stressful
The original hospice vet I used was late because she couldn't find parking, apparently one major street was closed for roadwork. She did call me but I missed the call because my friend who'd agreed to be there during the appointment for moral support literally panicked and bolted two minutes before so I was on the phone angry with the friend's cowardice
Then I had to go in the car with the vet, I found a spot in two minutes, had to pay because she didn't bring quarters for the meter (got an appointment in the middle of a large city). Then she convinced me it was crucial to euthanize and not wait as Lovey would suffer and could have a traumatic emergency event like a blood clot and be in agony. Then she didn't have time to do it because she'd be late to her next appointment. After being late to mine like it's my fault there's no easy parking
I had jobs where I was given disciplinary action or even terminated for being late. They didn't care if I spent two hours driving, parking or even had a car ac identc sick pet or emergency.
She offered to come back tommtomo and charge me the full price again. With no reduction in services and a full evaluation and euthanasia fee and refused to work with the cremation service that I've used for six other pets because she's not contracted with them. So she wanted $600 to make my cat suffer another day and refuse to make cremation easier so I'd have to pay another $200 for them to pick up too.
Because she wouldn't call her next appointment and say she has an emergency and would be late.
Then she called the oncologist and told them I had delayed the euthanasia another day even though he really needed it today and left out her role in it
I had to try to spend my last time with him while calling and looking up places to try to get someone else to come out. I got a service that I had spoken to last weekend. They immediately apologized for my bad experience with the other vet and their vet dearrarear his schedule and came out quickly. Too quickly I felt rushed even though he didn't try to rush me and I didn't get to focus on Lovey the way o wanted to today.
My friend's cowardice at the literal last second, Ruby was freaked out by two strangers in the house and wouldn't come out for the procedure .my dog got protective. They picked up on Lovey's health and my stress .
The original hospice vet emailed me later to check in. I was furious and emailed back very clearly how unethical and unprofessional I felt her treatment was a d how she made a horrible day much worse with her misguided priorities.
Then I got another pressuring email from the oncologist urging me to euthanize Lovey tomorrow, basically saying that I was torturing him which made me even more furious.
The hospice vet happened to call me to follow up on my email at that moment. I will give her credit for being brave.
Bottom line we has a very long time and she apologized profusely and refunded me all my money and said very kind things about my qualities as an owner from what she saw with Emerald in 2015 and Lovey today
She said she would call the oncologist immediately and explain and also explained that the only reason she couldn't stay was because her next client was a pet that was in an actively dying and suffering situation otherwise she never would have left. She said she didn't want to burden me with that information when I was so upset about Lovey.
She took my feedback much better than other vets have in the past.
But I miss my little angel so much. I kept hearing the little this of a cat landing from jumping down from the baby gate between the kitchen and bedroom where he and Ruby did their laps to run, chase play, get food and treats and use the preferred bug kitty litter
But Rubys glued to my side in the bedroom, so is my dog. There's no one left to jump the gate. And the gate is wide open.
Some of my friends think he's still here and doesn't want to let go of me either.
I could certainly be losing my mind too.
This was very long but it's the awful end to his story. His end itself was peaceful but a logistical nightmare
He was the only one of all my animals that didn't isolate and stop eating at the end. He fooled me because many times before when he didn't feel well he'd isolate under the bed, under a table, the bottom bunk of the kitty condo and not eat.
He wanted hugs and cuddles til the very end. Part of me has doubts that maybe he was scared and didn't want to die or didn't want to leave me, or was trying to comfort me. But I just wish he could have lived healthy forever. It's so quiet and still without his huge personality and demanding presence. I will always miss and love him.
Jeez, I'm speechless.
I can only hope and pray that the peace Lovey has been given --at such chaos to you, will be gifted to you and your Ruby and your dog.
I can only hope and pray that the peace Lovey has been given --at such chaos to you, will be gifted to you and your Ruby and your dog.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #31
Thanks. It was probably therapeutic to write all that. Thanks for the group hug and kind wishes. At least I'm not worried about him being in pain or suffering anymore.
inkysmom
, I'm stunned by the news!I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your wonderful and valiant Lovey, it's so unfair.
But you proved to be the best mom he could have dreamed of, you never let him down, you never left him, till the end, and till the end he showed you the huge love he had for you.
No, he wasn't scared, he knew that you were doing the last good thing for him, the only thing that would have him feel better.
It's terrible that the minutes before his departure were loaded with anxiety, anger and misunderstanding. Actually those moments should be smooth and seamless, because we already have an immense and very heavy burden to carry on us.
But calling a vet over to your home was the best thing to do, just as I did with Lola.
I, too, thought she was scared and didn't want to die, but I and Lola had an incredible communication, each of us always knew what the other was thinking or wanting. And she would reply to all my questions clearly.
So, on her last day, when I asked her if she wanted to go, she said "yes" several times, and when I asked her if she wanted to stay, she replied "no" several times. I was sure and doubtless of what I was going to do.
Lovey had the best life he could wish, now he's at the Bridge and is telling other cats how lucky he was and what a incredible mom he had.
RIP Lovey!
inkysmom
, I'm so 
Bless your heart.
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- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #34
Thank you both. Once I got the second vet there I forced myself to calmly relate his history of cancer since October and offered to show him recent discharge paperwork and letters. But he seemed to believe me based on my clear details and the exam.
I never stopped holding and petting and kissing Lovey throughout the whole thing . I literally lifted him onto my chest and neck and kept petting and hugging him and whispering softly all our silly secret little messages over the years so the vet wouldn't hear me, think I was delusional and have me psychiatrically evaluated.
I kept hugging him and kissing him and wrapped him cradled in his favorite soft light blue sheet from my bed that was old and torn after years. I kept doing that even after the vet reassured me that he was gone
I can't let go of him, not fully.
I never stopped holding and petting and kissing Lovey throughout the whole thing . I literally lifted him onto my chest and neck and kept petting and hugging him and whispering softly all our silly secret little messages over the years so the vet wouldn't hear me, think I was delusional and have me psychiatrically evaluated.
I kept hugging him and kissing him and wrapped him cradled in his favorite soft light blue sheet from my bed that was old and torn after years. I kept doing that even after the vet reassured me that he was gone
I can't let go of him, not fully.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #35
Antonio65 I wish I'd been clear-headed enough to ask Lovey what he wanted. I've done that before with past pets. From the way all these vets were saying all he wanted was to be close to me, i had a feeling he'd just saying he just wanted to be with me no matter.what.
Every time I had to go through this tremendous moment, the vets have always left me a few minutes alone with my pets so that I could say goodbye to them and I was able to tell them all those sweet little words that nobody else should hear, because they are secrets, like you say, words that only I and the pets can listen to.
But I know that vets are used to these situations, they know it well enough that people need to talk to their pets before and after, and know that nobody sounds or looks crazy or insane when it comes to say goodbye to what has filled our hearts and life.
But I know that vets are used to these situations, they know it well enough that people need to talk to their pets before and after, and know that nobody sounds or looks crazy or insane when it comes to say goodbye to what has filled our hearts and life.
Some cancers develop spontaneously from the chemo itself. I really believe that there was nothing more to be done except exactly what you did....love him.
There are no words, nothing at all, that can bring you comfort right now, but I want you to keep one thing in your foremost thoughts....Lovey is not struggling anymore, he is no longer suffering. You did so much for him, so much more then most, and at the end you gave him exactly what he needed, your love and comfort. It is all he ever needed. I don't know why these things have to happen, especially to good people like yourself and to that sweet, sweet cat. You will carry him with you for the rest of your life now, he is a part of you and will never leave. Love is spiritual, so eternal. But you know how hard he struggled to live, his will to live and to love. He would never want you to give up on love, on finding joy in life, just as you would want him to find his if you were the one chosen to go first. He will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers, send him your comfort and he will do the same.
When he left he took a little piece of you with him, but he also left behind his legacy of love for you and his heart with it. Use it to keep his love alive, to spread it and to help it grow. He would like nothing better than to know he left you with precious memories that eventually will bring you comfort instaed of pain. Do not dwell on his end, it makes it take on more importance than his life, and that should never be, his life was infinitely more precious.
My heart goes out to you, I know how much this hurts, the emptiness that is in your life right now. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, please accept my sincere condolences. Take care of yoruself, you have one that needs you now more than ever.....RIP dear Lovey. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May teh good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
There are no words, nothing at all, that can bring you comfort right now, but I want you to keep one thing in your foremost thoughts....Lovey is not struggling anymore, he is no longer suffering. You did so much for him, so much more then most, and at the end you gave him exactly what he needed, your love and comfort. It is all he ever needed. I don't know why these things have to happen, especially to good people like yourself and to that sweet, sweet cat. You will carry him with you for the rest of your life now, he is a part of you and will never leave. Love is spiritual, so eternal. But you know how hard he struggled to live, his will to live and to love. He would never want you to give up on love, on finding joy in life, just as you would want him to find his if you were the one chosen to go first. He will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers, send him your comfort and he will do the same.
When he left he took a little piece of you with him, but he also left behind his legacy of love for you and his heart with it. Use it to keep his love alive, to spread it and to help it grow. He would like nothing better than to know he left you with precious memories that eventually will bring you comfort instaed of pain. Do not dwell on his end, it makes it take on more importance than his life, and that should never be, his life was infinitely more precious.
My heart goes out to you, I know how much this hurts, the emptiness that is in your life right now. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, please accept my sincere condolences. Take care of yoruself, you have one that needs you now more than ever.....RIP dear Lovey. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May teh good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
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- #40
Thank you all. He took a huge piece of my heart with him.
I woke up this morning dreaming of or feeling tons of hugs and cuddles and clinging, endless clinging, with baby soft fur on my face and strong paws wrapping around my neck, and soft kitty kisses and gentle love bites, and a cat's head and face desperately pulling me closer, always closer.
The same way Lovey woke me up several times a night and morning especially for the past six months, but really his whole life.
When I was fully awake, Ruby was curled up in his usual spot next to my pillow. It wasn't him. My dog had left the room and was on the futon curled up on the spot where Lovey was last laid and I'd hugged him for the very last shot from the vet.
He didn't wake me up cuddling me either but was missing his brother.
Realistic dream? Visit? Lovey staying with me and not letting go either?
Who knows. I loved his cuddles though.
I woke up this morning dreaming of or feeling tons of hugs and cuddles and clinging, endless clinging, with baby soft fur on my face and strong paws wrapping around my neck, and soft kitty kisses and gentle love bites, and a cat's head and face desperately pulling me closer, always closer.
The same way Lovey woke me up several times a night and morning especially for the past six months, but really his whole life.
When I was fully awake, Ruby was curled up in his usual spot next to my pillow. It wasn't him. My dog had left the room and was on the futon curled up on the spot where Lovey was last laid and I'd hugged him for the very last shot from the vet.
He didn't wake me up cuddling me either but was missing his brother.
Realistic dream? Visit? Lovey staying with me and not letting go either?
Who knows. I loved his cuddles though.
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